Many of us receive direct messages from people we don’t know (or just met) on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and other social media sites. I receive A LOT of these. One thing that I notice with them is that their messages sound salesy or like a pitch, especially with new connections.
If you’re wanting to DM people, I will answer two questions in this blog:
There are a few kinds of questions that I receive on my DMs:
1. Open-Ended Questions
Have you received any of these messages:
I hate these kinds of questions because it puts the pressure on me to get things going. I’m then entering into a full conversation with someone who I don't know and I don't know why they're trying to reach out to me.
These questions are so open-ended, and I don’t know how to reply. I can reply “Good” or “Great” then they’d ask “What do you do?” Well, if this person looked at my profile, they would know what I do. Don't make me work because you want to talk to me. If you're going to reach out to someone, say more.
2. Unsolicited Offers
Have you received messages like:
Who doesn't want good things for their business? Who doesn't want these things? But it doesn't mean that I'm ready to enter into a sales conversation with you about it because I don't know you. So you have to ask yourself, “What are you leading with when you're messaging people?”
Because when people lead with optimizing my website, increasing my Google ranking, or whatever, I am not shopping for that. Your first message should not be a solicitation. You should not be offering to help me for a fee in that first message. I did not request solicitation in my inbox.
I also receive messages like:
Well, how do you know that my community wants it? Right, you're leading with your own offer. You're not leading with anything that I should care about. This is something you have to think about. What are you leading with? Are you leading with your own agenda? Or are you leading with something that would actually be for them?
3. “I love…
The other thing that I often see is people saying:
That type of message could be almost for anyone in the world. But if you’re going to say such things, be specific! For instance, if you want to be on the Dynamic Women Podcast, send me an email that says something like, “Hey, I love what you're doing. I listened to Episode 34 about changes for the new year! I love the five things that you shared! I totally resonate with this piece.”
If you message me something along these lines, it would show me that you actually took the time to consume some of my content and get to know me.
4. No “No Big Deal”
Sometimes, people send things like:
This is okay because I have permission to not answer her. However, sometimes what'll happen is people will send that but not the “no big deal.” And then they'll come in again and like, “Hey, you didn't reply to my message” or “Hey, I'm sending this again because you haven't replied.”
If that's through my business page on Facebook and I don’t reply to their spam, that messes up my response rates!
You might ask, “If they want to friend request you and you don’t know them, then what's the point of accepting their friend request?”
Good question. My response to this is as a business owner and speaker who is in the public eye quite a bit, I will say yes to their friend request if:
I’m trusting that they're good people and we should be connected. If you want to accept a friend request from someone, then you need to make the decision if that is a good decision for you or not. Have your own criteria for accepting friend requests.
Your being salesy happens when you lead with your own agenda.
You’ll come off as kind of awkward and weird in messages when you don't have a clear intention or you're not trying to connect with the person. So the keyword here is CONNECTION. Connect with the person. And so in order to connect with someone, you need to have a topic that is worthy of connecting about.
If you want to connect with them, you've got something specific that you can say or to talk about THEM, not talk about YOU. I don't know how many times I've had someone email me and the email tells me how awesome they are.
One of the easiest ways to connect is to acknowledge the person in a true way for something that you admire about them, that you like about them, or that you want to compliment them for. Acknowledge them for something and then speak about what's in it for them.
Here’s the question recap...
Now here are some tips you can do to NOT sound salesy:
1. Get on people’s radar first.
Go like some of their posts, comment on them and/or share some of their content. When people do this on my stuff, I do notice! If someone shares my content and I realize they've shared it, I will thank them. Then I’ll be more receptive when they DM me.
2. Find out what’s important to them.
Not what you think is important, but actually what is important to them. You'll find out what's important to them by listening to some of their videos, their audios, and their podcasts. Or by reading stuff on their website and their bio.
3. Don’t make them do all the work.
Don’t just say “How are you?” That's an annoying start to a conversation (unless I know them). Instead, tell me what you want to talk about. Acknowledge their work, and be detailed in the message. Refer to something that they have done and just come from a place of serving them first, and then they'll potentially reciprocate.
These are the things you can do to not come across as salesy and pitchy in direct messenger. Now, how are you going to show up differently?
P.S. I have to take my own words of wisdom here. Sometimes I try to get straight to the point with people without connecting. That's my A-type. It’s a learning curve!
Want to get on my radar? Comment below or subscribe and/or review my Dynamic Women Podcast!
Read my other blogs here:
Life can feel full and unbalanced and then you need to find more time to be on top of your social media. And while social media truly has some great benefits for your business, it can get in the way of your personal priorities and take a lot of time.
Since I love efficiency and saving time, in this blog, I’m going to share some tips to post on social media faster and easier. But before you try to cut time in any activity, ask yourself these 3 coaching questions I ask other female business leaders:
Think about these questions as we go through the tips.
(Take note: I’m not a Facebook expert. These are some tips I chose to do in my business as I grew it with 2 young kids. In case you didn’t know, Facebook can penalize you for using an external posting system. You’ll be penalized by not having your posts show up as often as posts that are organically posted straight to Facebook.)
Now, there are ways on how you schedule posts for Facebook and other social media platforms:
1. Copy and Paste
You could copy and paste your posts on different Facebook groups and schedule them. But if you really want to post organically, one tip I’ve heard is to stay in the box that you’re pasting in for 10 seconds because that is of Facebook's way of knowing did you actually write this post or if you went on a copy and paste spree.
Extra Tip: Create an Excel or Word document where you have all your posts ready. This way, you can have your posts more organized and planned out and you will not be distracted by Facebook.
2. Use Scheduling Systems
There are different tools that you can use to schedule posts for different platforms (not just for Facebook) at the same time like Buffer, Hootsuite, CincShare, and Planoly. I used Hootsuite before where I would create an Excel spreadsheet that contains all the information (what and when I’m going to post, hashtags, etc.) then I would bulk upload it to Hootsuite. Right now, I am using Planoly where I can schedule my posts for Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And even better I have my VA do it.
Your reach may not be as good using this way so you have to ask yourself, is it more important to do this and have more time? Is that more important than having it have a bigger reach? In coaching many busy business owners, my thought is, "if using a scheduling system means you’re actually consistent in your posting, is that not better than being inconsistent in organic posts?" It all comes down to what you value the most.
Extra Tip: Work on better content. Work also on staggering times like 1:07PM instead of 1:00PM or 1:23PM instead of 1:30PM so your post is not competing with posts at those times. Another tip is since you’re using these tools to schedule your posts, you can post on different social media platforms so you’re also present on those platforms.
3. Use Facebook’s Creator Studio
Facebook has its own platform called Creator Studio. Use Facebook's own platform because it might be better because Facebook is going to like that more and maybe push more of your content out.
Facebook doesn't like this as much, but you can always push content from one platform to another. I can post to Instagram and have it fly over to Facebook and or Twitter.
Is this the best thing for my time? Yes. Is this the best thing for my business? Maybe not. I'm dealing with the time that I have. So I encourage you to do the same - to think about what is the best use of your time.
Extra Tip: Have someone manage all of your social media platforms then they can engage and post organically for you. Even if you don’t feel you have the budget, think about how you can make it happen. This will free you up to do more income generating activities.
5. Pick One Platform
Pick one platform and make sure you're doing some organic posting by posting straight to the platform. Then get on there and actually engage with your posts, reply to people’s comments, like them, and ask them a question back.
If you push content from one platform to another - great! If you bulk upload to other platforms, great! But at the very least pick one platform and really put a lot of energy into it. Ideally, focus on where your clients already are.
Extra Tip: Have good content. Create content that's engaging. Create content that could go viral because it looks good. Create something that people want to consume.
Which of these tips will you try out? Let me know in the comments! If you have questions that I can help you solve, comment down below, so I can answer that in my next blogs. Join my FREE Facebook group Dynamic Women Global Community, I love sharing tips and techniques there.
Read my other blogs for more time-saving hacks:
There is ONE thing that a lot of women do that feels good but hurts them - it’s putting other people's agendas before their own. It's saying “yes” to others before they say “yes” to themselves.
The sad thing is, I see women do this all the time.
I constantly see women putting others ahead of themselves.
But I'm talking about this unbalance when these statements are true:
And when it gets to that extreme level, it means you take care of other people to honor their values before you honor your own values. So how does this look?
Imagine yourself in these two true situations that I heard from my clients.
True Story 1: I have a client who is a very loving Mom. The trouble was she wasn’t able to go away on the weekend because her daughter kept dropping her dog off at her house. It was happening a lot and for long periods of time and that meant that this client of mine wasn't able to have the freedom that she wanted. She missed out on so many invites for dinner dates, outings, and trips because the dog couldn’t be left alone. This made her resent her daughter.
True Story 2: A client of mine is a very successful personal trainer who has clients in different areas of the city. My client said yes to serving a retired couple at 9am which was a time that worked best for them, which meant my client was travelling through the city during rush hour. Also, she was already serving people in that area later in the day and so it meant she was travelling there twice. This caused her to miss out on adding in another training hour. It took her a lot more time to travel and caused her much stress.
If you give all day, there is nothing left for you. When you're busy fulfilling everyone else's agenda before your own, you’ll have nothing left to give. And then along with not focusing on your own agenda, you're also missing out on fulfilling your own dreams.
Yes, we need to care for others. And yes, we need to help others, but not to the detriment of ourselves. If we have time for ourselves, our cup gets filled. If we can do the things we want to do, our cup gets filled. If we honor our own priorities, our cup gets full. When our cup is full and overflowing into the saucer that is under the cup, we have more than enough to give.
By serving our own needs, wants, priorities, and goals, we then can bless others with the time, energy, and money that we have. When you make more money, you can give more money. When you have more time, you can give more time.
I will leave you with a list of questions that you can ask yourself so you can fill your own cup:
In the past, I've been known to go out of my way to help others so much that I suffered. And I see it in women all the time. I hope it doesn’t happen to you so have a hard look at how you’re doing and answer those questions. Post your comments about what insights this gave you.
We are taught to care. We are taught to give. We are taught to serve. We also need to be taught boundaries and making ourselves a priority. And we can help others once we are feeling enough… once we are filled up... once we have enough to be in a position to be able to give.
In my last blog, I talked about four aspects to supporting your success: networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach.
The best is when you can have networking, an accountability group, a mastermind, and a coach all in one group. I share this with my clients. It helps them achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities.
Why is this good? Think of an iceberg and water.
When you spread yourself thin and do a lot of different things, you only really get the tip of the iceberg because your bandwidth is so spread apart. When you have ONE group that you're working with to satisfy your masterminding, networking, coaching, and accountability needs, you get to go:
What are the other benefits of having these four things in one?
1. You save time because:
2. You save energy.
3. You save money.
When I was able to see all of these benefits for myself and how it was a better way of up leveling my business I started looking for it. In the end, I created it for my clients. It was a huge difference.
You’re probably searching for something like this - for something that would just ease the burden of all the things you have to get done. A speed course to help you reach your goals, a program that has four in one. Your one-stop shop to help you reach where you want to get to.
This is why I put all my years in my education, my teaching, coaching, delivering workshops, delivering speeches, presentations to groups of people, and all my personal and professional development, put them into one program - the She's Goaled Program.
Check it out and apply to be able to reach your goals with the 4 point system.
Here are some of my blogs that you may also enjoy:
I’ve struggled in my business at different times. I thought I was making the right decisions based on what others had suggested, but the problem was they weren’t actually doing what they shared with me.
I was constantly reviewing and making changes. Of course those mistakes were really learning opportunities. But the thing is, what if you just knew how to NOT make those mistakes?
What I learnt is how quickly you decide to make a change and how fast you take action actually determines how successful you're going to be. If you can't make changes when problems come or you stay in the wrong decision for too long, then you're going to have more negative outcomes.
As a coach, they don't teach us how to run a coaching business. So, I did these things:
1. I joined a networking group.
Networking groups are great, but the problem was that the networking group I was in wasn't giving me a strong level of information that I needed on how to run a business that's in alignment with me.
2. I hired a good business coach.
It was really great working with her. She helped me with business foundations, but I was missing that group interaction. I want a group of people, especially women, to come together and we can move our businesses forward together and I can get some information.
3. I joined a Mastermind.
I joined a mastermind, but I wasn’t getting that high-level strategy that I needed from it. This mastermind was self-led wherein the participants were to lead it. I was the only coach and facilitator in the group. I ended up having to run it. That just felt weird. I started to feel like the coach, where I'm not able to chill and relax and just be part of this experience. And so I thought to myself, that's off. That's not right.
4. I had an accountability group.
I thought maybe I just need a little accountability group to get things going and help me get things happening. But I realized, these people are not doing what they said they would do. And it was quite frustrating for me because at the time, I was pregnant. I was spending more of my time there coaching them how to reach their goals, and how to actually do what they were supposed to do. It was frustrating. That level of accountability wasn't there.
I had a networking group, a coach, a mastermind group, and an accountability partner. They were all serving partial needs for me, but none of it was like fully encompassing all of my needs.
It takes a lot of time to attend four different events. It was costing me time and brainpower. Each of them had its own set of requirements and expectations. I couldn't keep my head straight with all those things. It was also costing me money!
What I wanted was ONE single track to put my business train on. To be able to just go to one group of people and have them serve all of my needs and get my business moving forward so that I am not wasting my time, energy, mind power, and money.
Why isn't there something where a group of people can have the following aspects:
1. Networking - We get together and have networking opportunities. We start referring each other and can use each other's services.
2. Accountability - We can have accountability with someone in charge. Having an actual facilitator, coach, or someone in charge of that accountability can lead to better results so that the participants don't have to hold each other accountable.
3. Mastermind - In some groups, certain people take more time because the time isn’t being managed. When there’s a facilitator to facilitate the timing, everyone gets their time. It's not just the power of the group, but I want someone in charge that knows so many different things.
4. Coaching - Having someone in that group who can coach. The cool thing is, as they're coaching someone else in the group, you can learn so much, too. By being coached in front of others, you also have that feeling of we're in this together.
Which of those four pieces do you like the most? You can have networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach for your life as well in your business.
In my next blog, I will share with you the ONE step I took that helped me achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities.
You can also read my other blogs:
1. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions
2. Hire Help: 1 of 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 1)
3. 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 2)
In my last blog, I shared the one thing that you can do to turn networking on its head. If you want to really connect with people, you need to drop your title and start to show up as who you are. Now, how can you show up as who you are? Here are seven ways. This list comes from the Connection Pillar of my book, Dynamic You.
1. Connect based on an emotion
How is that person feeling? Are they feeling positive? Are they excited? If you can get into that feeling, if you can get into that emotion, then you can start connecting with other people. For instance, if the other person is excited about the release of her new book, you can mirror that emotion of excitement. When we mirror someone else's body language, we become more connected.
2. Connect based on their experiences
How quickly can you find an experience that you both had? For instance, are they someone who also traveled from another country to live in this country like you? Wherever they are from, you can still have the similarity. Do you both enjoy horseback riding? Did you both go to a university in a far off place? There's an experience that you've had that you can connect on. When you start talking about that, the excitement or the connection builds.
3. Connect based on their likes
Start talking about the things that you both like. Do you both like pink? Did you notice they're wearing pink or have a pink purse and you have a pink dress? Maybe you saw something that they have and it's something you like, compliment them and then talk more about it. Ask them. Be curious about it.
4. Connect based on their interests.
Are they interested in doing crossstitch? Are you both interested in cross fit? They may have some interest that you are interested in. Get on that topic. Start talking about that thing.
5. Connect based on struggles.
You may have heard that they have three kids under three and you do, too. Maybe you both had companies closed down, and you've had to switch and go to a new one. Maybe during COVID-19 pandemic, you both have a brick and mortar and have needed to be creative with lockdowns. You can connect based on your struggles.
6. Connect based on opportunities.
Are they a speaker and had a chance to go to a conference that you are also interested in speaking at? Are they looking at vendor opportunities at a craft fair or trade show? You can get curious about those things and you can start connecting on that level.
7. Connect based on your desires.
You may connect based on the things that you wish or dream about. Maybe you desire to give back to people in developing nations, and maybe they do, too. Maybe they also desire supporting homeless people, the poor animals, or maybe you desire to build your own home or become eco-friendly. You can start talking about your desires.
These are seven different ways that you can use to connect with someone on a deeper level by connecting as who you are rather than what you do. You will be an expert at the topics because it's about you and about them as a person. When you connect as who you are, you can be more confident. When you connect as who you are, you get to tap into every bit of every experience, every success, everything that you know, rather than when you connect as a title and it’s surface level and only around one area of life.
Now, which of these ways can you use in your next networking event or social gathering? Share with me in the comments!
What do you do in networking to stand out from other people? And how do you make stronger connections with others?
When I started in business, I experienced being uncomfortable networking. I felt like a fish out of water. I couldn't bring forward all of my previous success, all my previous expertise, or my natural confidence.
In traditional networking, you have to show up as your title or show up as what you do or whatever is on your business card.
However, if I just showed up as who I am, then the people I meet get all of me. The same is true for you. If you show up as who you are, there are so many benefits to doing that. However, we typically show up as what we do, not who we are. The trouble with showing up as what we do is that the labels confine us. It puts us in a box. Whatever the other person’s definition of what that title is, that’s what we have to be or that who we are in their eyes.
Surface Level Connection
When titles or labels are shared, it causes a block in the connection. Imagine trying to connect with people, but it’s only surface level. That inhibits us because networking is about connection.
When we network with people and there’s no connection there, we move on. But the truth is, you just looked at surface level connection. (I’ve been guilty of this.) There actually is more, deeper below.
When you connect as your title, you miss out on connecting as a person. It's harder to make that deeper connection that would make you friends if you focus just on titles. Again, it's that surface level connection.
But when you show up as who you are, you can't be wrong because you're an expert at who you are. You just need to be you. You're not playing a part. When you ditch your labels and you focus on connecting as who you are, then you're not limited in connecting with someone based on those titles.
The Number One Thing that Turns Networking on its Head
Drop the titles. Stop showing up as your title. Stop showing up as what you do. Instead, show up as who you are. When you connect as who you are, you can get deeper in a conversation with someone faster. You can then find areas of connection where normally you wouldn't be able to. That helps you to follow up with them, to deepen the relationship and to find the areas of where you will help each other.
With titles, you’re limited to what it is. Titles go away. Titles are stripped from us. There are so many times in our lives that we lose our titles, but we don't need to lose ourselves. If you always show up as who you are and connect with others as who they are, you will set yourself apart. You will increase your Know, Like, and Trust factor. You will take the walls down and that connection on a deeper level will mean that the other person you meet networking will want to do life and business with you. When you connect as who you are, rather than what you do, you can be an equal in any situation.
Now what does that mean to do life and business with you? Doing life with you can mean going for a walk. It could mean going to a painting class together. What does it mean to do business together? I think you know all the different ways, but the main way that people are looking for is the sales transaction (which doesn't always happen).
But could someone support you in another way? For sure!
There are so many other ways that people can support you in your business and you can support them.
I encourage you to show up as who you are. BUT how can you connect with other people by showing up who you are? I’ll cover that in my next blog. Stay tuned!
Have you been feeling tired and unmotivated? Like most busy women, I also feel tired some days. Here is a method that you can use to gain back your drive in life: The D.R.I.V.E. Method.
D - Do something small.
Do something small. Do something really small, just to get yourself going, so it's not something difficult. It's not something that takes a lot of time. What you might need is just a little bit of a boost. A little bit of a push. And a little bit of a win.
What's the one small thing that you could do?
R - Rest
On days when you're tired, you might have to take more breaks.
I - Inquire
Inquiring means you are going to sit by yourself and you're going to ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”
Here are some common answers:
V - Visioning
V is visioning. Go back to your why. Go back to the vision for your business, the vision for your life. You may have a life purpose statement in your life. Go back to that.
Look at what you have to accomplish for the day.
Use your visioning ability. It’s your ability to see forward but also your ability to sit in why you do what you do. Do something to fuel your vision. Look at thank you cards from clients, read positive emails, look at some awards you've attained. If you're just physically tired, visioning might light a spark.
E - Enjoyable Activity or Exercise
E is either an enjoyable activity or exercise. An enjoyable activity is something you want to do. Something that is fun.
Do something you enjoy in your business or in your life.
On the flip side, do some exercise. Get out of your desk. Do some jumping jacks or burpees. Go for a walk. Put on some music and dance around. Do something to get the blood flowing. Do an activity that is enjoyable so it feeds your soul or do some exercise so it feeds your body.
Those are my five tips that you can apply in your life whenever you feel tired or unmotivated.
Now, are you ready to D-R-I-V-E your way to a motivated life? Share with me in the comments below which of these tips you will do first!
P.S. For those of you who are reading this blog, I have an exclusive gift for you. I can give you annual subscription for this company called readitfor.me if you would like a free one-year membership which gives you access to their write-ups of the book. It’s the number 1 book summary service for entrepreneurs and executives. They can give you the key points of a book in 12 minutes or less! Just comment below that you’d like access! That’s my gift for you for being here.
How do you know if you're actually going to get what you want?
Clients of mine, women and audiences that I've spoken to, and my friends have said to me, “Diane, how do you achieve so much? How do you achieve so much when you have two young children? How do you achieve so much when you have so much going on? How do you just do it all.”
(The funny thing is I don’t have it all together. Currently, I’m stepping over stuff in my house that’s all over the floor and I have 2 loads of clean laundry to fold.)
But I want to give you something really simple to know if you are going to achieve what you want.
Number 1: Are your goals alive?
We talked about goals. We talked about what you want. However, are your goals alive? That's the key thing. Goals must be alive. Are they living? What you want must be alive in your life. If it's not, if it's not present, if it's not there, you will not achieve it.
How can you make your goals alive?
Step 1. Make sure that your goals are actually written down.
Make sure to write your goals down so that they are active goals. If you haven't written down your goals yet, then they're passive. They're just dreams. They're just wishes. You are not actually going to attain them. Write down what you want.
Step 2: Move your goals into your calendar.
The second step is to move them into your calendar. If you want to answer the question “Are my goals alive?” check your calendar. If you have a health goal of losing 20 pounds, is there anything in your calendar that says workout? Is there anything in your calendar that says meal prep? If you want to write a book, is there anything in your calendar that says draft an outline or talk with publishers?
If there's nothing in your calendar or in your schedule that is related to what you want, then you're not going to attain it.
You might think, “I delegate a lot.” Well, that’s great. However, is there anything in your calendar to check in on those who are instrumental to the success of you getting what you want? For example, if your goal is writing your own book, do you have meetings with a publisher? Do you have meetings with maybe a ghostwriter or the book layout designer? You need to ask yourself, “Do I have meetings with these people?” If you don't have meetings with them, then you're probably not going to get what you want. (I have weekly meetings with my team.)
Now, you might say, “I don't need to have meetings with them.” Well, as long as you're monitoring their progress (I like Trello for this), as long as there's something that's happening, then it's in your calendar. And that goal or what you want is alive.
Step 3: Make sure your resources are going to it.
If you plan to build your own business, are you spending time learning how to do that? Are you investing time to be able to do that? Are you investing resources in a coach to support you and to provide accountability? If your resources of time, energy, and money are not going to what you want, you won't achieve it.
That's like saying, “I'm going to get super fit, so I can run an Iron Man.” But then you're not spending any time doing any exercising and you're not investing in the right coaches to train you, and you're not buying the right equipment that you need to do it.
The number one way to know if you will get what you want is to make your goals alive. Make sure they’re in your calendar. I know that is something that you can do today. Write down your goals. Check your calendar. See if you have time, energy, resources, money going towards what you want.
Today, I hope you'll do something to get closer to what you want. And that the action you take will have you feeling confident that you will actually achieve what you want.
Share a goal or two in the comments below. Then you’ll check off already doing the first step, which is to make sure that your goals are written down. Bravo! Now go crush them!
Do you need more time? Do you need more space for yourself? Then, you need to be REAL about what you NEED.
Your personal and professional lives can get hectic at times. We tend to forget our priorities and feel like we are pushed to the extreme. This doesn’t need to happen.
Here are SIX tips how you can get your time back:
1. Set your priorities.
The first thing to do is to set your priorities in ALL areas of your life. Is it spending time with your children? Is it getting a partner, husband, or boyfriend? Is it having a beautiful home? Is it your business?
Then put yourself on the top of your priority list! This is very crucial.
We’ve all heard that saying that you need to put your own oxygen mask on first. For myself, I have been snippy lately. I wasn't as loving to my family because I haven't been giving MYSELF enough time. I haven't been giving myself enough sleep. I haven’t given myself enough time away from everybody. So I was then trying to support others from an empty cup and doing poorly at it. And so I got back into reading again and walking in the forest before I start my work day. You are a priority, too!
2. Talk about your balancing act.
Share with others about how hard it is to balance your life: tell your partner, your friends, and your co-workers. You have to be honest about what you can realistically accomplish. In sharing with someone else, you might start hearing things like, “This isn't the best idea anymore” or “Maybe I can't do all these things.”
Also, it can help you decide which has to be done by you and which can be done by others. For instance, in terms of the cleanliness of my home, my standards have come down since having two kids, my own business, and other priorities. It's not a priority anymore. But the priority is I don't step on stuff on my floor! It's a priority that we have groceries in the fridge. It's a priority we have clean dishes and clean clothes. Do the clothes always get folded on time? No, they don't! This leads us to the third tip.
3. Delegate or Hire help.
Please delegate or hire help. The benefits of a house cleaner far outweigh the costs. It can reduce fights in the family. It can help lower your stress levels, not just because you don't have to do it, but also because your house is going to be clean, and it's going to be lovely. And that just makes you feel less stressed.
I hired someone to do my marketing and social media, which takes the stress and the guilt off of my shoulders in my business. You can hire people for your personal life, and you can hire people for your business. You can even hire camps for the summer. That's delegating childcare to someone else to free up your time. If you feel like, “No, I want to be with my kids all the time.” That’s cool. Then get someone else to fold your laundry, to book things for you, or to run your errands.
4. Let go of Perfectionism.
Let it go! Let it go! Give yourself permission to just do stuff without it having to be absolutely perfect. It's okay to have things be less than perfect. Just do everything as well as you can.
When my mom was asking about my report card, a project or a sports game I had played, she'd say, “Did you do your best? And if you've done your best, that's all I can ask for.” So if you did your best (this is not perfection best, this is just DO your best), then that's all that you can ask for.
You don't also have to be perfect at every single role you take on. Allow imperfections. It’s what makes us unique. Then, make adjustments as your day goes on.
5. Make better choices.
Let go of things that cost you too much energy. It’s just not worth it. Sadly, this might include people or tasks. I’m not saying to give up exercising because it takes energy. Maybe you have to adapt to what you do.
Can another mom or your partner do the pickup or drop off on certain days? Can someone else go and pick up your dry cleaning? Can you decide on the outlines for your blogs or articles and then have someone else write them? Can you write them but have someone else post them? Could you post them but have someone else do the social media?
Make better choices so that you won’t tire yourself out.
6. Take Time for Yourself
Schedule in some “Me time,” take up a new hobby, take a class at school, go to the gym, take 15 minutes to meditate - whatever you enjoy, start integrating it into your life so that you have some time to relax and take stock in what's really important to you. It could be getting back to priorities, putting some time in for education, adding in things you love to do - that re-energize you, and having time for the maintenance of your health.
These are six things that I do to just get real with where I'm at. I do these often. I have to go back through and ask myself again, “What I can delegate? Where do I need to make better choices? Where do I need to let go of perfectionism? Where do I need to talk to someone else about the balancing act that I'm in? Where do I need to delegate or hire help?” Key thing though, set your priorities, know exactly what you need to be focusing on and when you need to be focusing on it so that you can get everything fit in.
Which of these things are you doing already? Which will you try to do? Let me know in the comments section!
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