Have you ever questioned how some women do it all? Have you ever questioned whether confidence is an innate quality that only special women have? Or that some women are just stronger than you?
Being a successful mompreneur takes a lot of confidence and resiliency. As a mompreneur and high performance coach even I’ve questioned myself at times! So rest assured, you are not alone. But here is my promise to you: you are not without tools to learn how to train those muscles up! Let me show you where to start.
First off, let’s agree to think of confidence and resiliency as emotional muscles that need to be built out from a good solid foundation.
In my experience, the keys to a good foundation are:
We are each trying to find our own way as a mom and a business owner, so naturally we look to others and see what they are doing. But I can’t think of a quicker way to crush confidence and resiliency than comparison. We really don’t want to place ourselves above or below anyone else. It’s important to compare yourself to yourself, or compare yourself to your goals. We all start from different places, so comparison is never fair. For example, someone else may have a large extended family that can provide free child care every day of the week. That person will logistically be able to do different things with her business and at a different pace than others.
Another downside of comparison is that it leads to competition and that can damage having an essential support network. Every mompreneur needs a support network. (that's why it’s the next key) Instead of racing against each other, we can be on paths beside each other and unfold wonderful relationships, support, and mentoring. (Want a great community of like-minded supportive women? Then click here to RSVP to a Dynamic Women™ event.)
Unbiased support in a mastermind group or from a coach is the other key to a good foundation. Your supporters are able to see accomplishments you may be overlooking and help give you boost of confidence. Have you ever heard of the phrase “You can’t see the picture if you are in the frame?” Last year my mastermind group had to remind me that having a baby was a huge accomplishment! I completely overlooked that in the face of feeling like I hadn’t got much done in my business.
Once you have a solid foundation, then comes the rest of the training plan. This consists of:
Relevant and obtainable goals are really important for confidence. Goals have to be a good fit for your situation. Setting the same goals as someone else doesn’t make them very attainable or useful because you and your situation are unique. You will know if a goal is attainable if you can commit 100%. For example, if you want to loose 10lbs but can’t get up early in the morning, what you may focus on is drinking 8 glasses of water a day and getting to bed by 10pm. Those things are doable and will definitely increase your energy allowing you to take the next step – getting to the gym.
Consistently doing small things that scare you (ie. pushing your boundaries) allows you to feel the thrill and pride of doing something new. (Check out my full blog article about this here) It maintains and builds future confidence. And as long as you are practicing consistently, the next big scary thing you try won’t seem as scary because you have trained your confidence muscle up.
Have you ever thought back to something courageous you did when you were younger? Whatever was in you that allowed you to be that way still exists! Now how can you pull from that past experience to get traction for your next goals? This is how we build on past success. We look back on what worked, who we were, and what conditions were possible for us to succeed in that moment, knowing that we can create a new similar situation again. Not everything has to be the same – we look at the essence and themes and carry them forward. Looking at the past can help us feel resilient when we face current challenges. We know we have succeeded before, or that situations have been resolved, or that we learned a valuable lesson.
Being a mompreneur is challenging! There is no doubt about that. We can be quite hard on ourselves or overlook our accomplishments as mothers and business owners. We can let the ‘not doing’ gremlins be noisy and easily loose confidence in our abilities. Getting back up when things don’t go as planned is a testament to our resiliency. But both confidence and resiliency are part of your character! They are not a special quality only special people have. Using this training plan will help you grow in both these areas. And if you need a little extra one-on-one, personal training? I am here for you!
There is something really unique from the vantage point of being a mompreneur that nobody else has. Do you know what it is? It’s the opportunity to witness the power of small steps. We get to watch our babies master their skills little by little and hit developmental milestones. And it turns out, when we follow that example in our business and take small steps that scare us, we nurture our own confidence and growth from a place of ease and joy instead of fear.
Wait a second, I actually reduce my fear by taking small, scary steps? Yes, that is exactly what I am saying!
I’ve just reached six years in business and my growth has kept pace with my daughters’. I was still in the early stages of business startup when she was born. In my newborn stage I wasn’t completely secure or confident in all areas of my business. But fortunately, I observed how to gain confidence through taking small steps at a time.
My growth has unfolded in the process of reasonably pushing my boundaries a little further every month. I like to make that distinction because so often I encounter clients who go after these massively huge goals with a lot of excitement and then fear shows up and stops them dead in their tracks. Can you relate?
Let me share a few reasons as to why this happens and a few tools you can use to shift your perspective and start harnessing the power of small, scary steps.
How we perceive goals makes a big impact in what we do with them and how we act (or don’t). Somewhere along the way we bought into the story that goals have to be HUGE to be ‘good enough’. We also adopted the belief that the outcome of the goal is the only point. We believe the result we create is the only thing that dictates success or failure. Do you hate setting goals? Could it be because of these beliefs?
Let’s shift perspective by considering:
Can you think back to watching your child go from rolling over to sitting up? There were lots of small developments in between. And learning to sit was a precursor to developing the core muscles needed to walk. It makes sense that when goals are out of proportion to where you are now with the skills and resources you have, you may commit to a huge goal but not be able to follow through. Do this enough times and your trust in your own abilities takes a nosedive.
Here are some suggestions:
By consistently doing things that are a little bit scary you work up your confidence muscle in pace with who you are becoming. You give yourself time to catch up to your striving. When I first started doing free discovery calls, I was a little terrified of pitching my coaching services. But the more I practiced this, the easier it got until there was no emotion attached to it at all.
Do you think shifting your perspective on goal setting and using small powerful steps could make your business growth feel easier? I’ve noticed it certainly changes the nature of how we do things and how much joy and confidence we feel when we do. Approaching ourselves with the same nurturing touch we give our kids makes room for celebrating our growth too.
I have found vision boarding to be a successful tool I use to coach my clients. The process involves cutting and pasting pictures of all that you desire on a simple bristle board. The attraction comes from consistently visualizing these pictures every day and seeing them as your reality. Witness the attraction and success of Fatima Sumur and how she visualized her dreams into reality with her blog post …“The Power of Visioning Your Dream and Future.”
Here's a little from Fatima's Blog:
"There are two trains of thoughts when it comes to living a life of all the luxuries and dreams. One is through the traditional approach go to school get a good 9-5 job and stick to a detailed life plan based on others thoughts and expectations as to what will make you happy. The other approach is through envisioning your dream future through vision boards and a constitutional declaration of what makes you euphoric and having faith in yourself and God/Source. Both methods do require you to put effort, work and energy into them." Please click here to read more.
A blessing in disguise, in my pursuit to find balance in my life, I learned a strategy that is now a program I teach my clients. Hear Johanna Hunt’s experience and how she overcame her need to find balance in her business, in her blog post…”Never Get So Busy Making a Living That You Forget To Live Your Life…”
Read Johanna's first paragraph ...
"This month I celebrated my 4th year in business. I’m big at reflecting on whats working and whats not working on a regular basis, and you may remember from some of my past blogs, I was starting to feel stuck in my business, and wondering what direction I was heading. It is not that I feared I was not going to reach the goals I had set out but was finding that I wanted to enjoy my journey more."
Please Click Here to Read More ...
Love it or hate it social media is a key marketing tool for your business. We use it to inform, educate, persuade and convert.
Facebook ads, posts and comments.
Twitter tweets, favorites and chats.
Instagram. Periscope. Need I go on?
There are a lot of options and each platform can have it’s own purpose. You may use one to build your network while another to sell and yet another to drive traffic to your website.
Do you know what the purpose is for each of your platforms?
I’m not going to pretend that I’m a social media buff or a marketing maven, but I am in the business of asking powerful questions. Making you come up with answers so you can have clarity, gain confidence and get into action.
So I’m curious, what does your activity on social media say about you? What does it tell potential customers about your business? What is it confirming in your clients?
Try this activity:
Go onto each of your platforms and scroll through your feed. You can do this with your business, your personal one or both.
These 2 are creating a snap shot of a potential experience for a client, colleague or future customer.
Obviously, if the purpose isn’t what you had hoped. For example, if you hoped to educate, but every other post is a sales pitch then you’re not living up to your purpose. It’s time to re-evaluate.
Is the way you show up in-line with your brand? Do those 3 words really describe you and/or your business? If not, work with the person in charge of your social media (so maybe you’re chatting with yourself) to re-establish the way you want to come across online. Then create your content according to that.
Remember that it’s great to get in action around tasks, but better to know exactly what your intention is 1st then move with purpose. Then review every now and again to make sure you haven’t deviated.
I’d love to know your brands 3 words. Share below!
I remember six years ago when I first started my business, I made a lot of goals I wanted to accomplish. Over time, I found it hard to be accountable for all these goals especially just after having a newborn and more family responsibilities that came with it.
No sooner did I search for a solution and learned of accountability partners. First off, hiring a coach was imperative to my growth personally and professionally. After a couple of years two other coaches in my Coaching Certification Class and I created a Mastermind Group. Having not just one but two accountability partners that challenged me each week, helped me to stay on purpose, and moving forward with my goals; my business became that much more enjoyable.
However not all accountability partners are created equal. Find out why choosing the right partner is equally important as Claire Madin shares in her blog post…“Why an Accountability Partner is my New Black.”
I’ve had a busy couple of months with family visiting, rolling out my VIP program, some presentations and a project or two. I’ve now been going through my to-do list and knocking off things bit-by-bit.
I thought it was time to share a few tools that I use in my life and business. Some I’ve shared before so I’m also including links to a few videos that I previously recorded.
What I want to share in this video with you is a time saving technique that will help you get more done in a shorter amount of time!
Then let's get to it!
Click here to see the video! or click on the video to the above right.
After watching - try the technique today and finish the week with your tasks checked off!
To help with the technique I share in the previous video I use the Online Stopwatch which can count down or up and has an alarm that will sound. I suggest you check out some of the fun options like the ticking time bomb.
A Simple School Age Trick for your Business
Bottom line... when our time is managed better we'll be more successful and feel more relaxed.
Click on the video to see how!
To save me time when booking clients – I use the online booking system called Youcanbook.me
How you can work with clients across Canada & Internationally
When I’m wanting to do group calls and/or record the calls as well I use FreeConferenceCall.com.
Maybe some of these ideas bring about a mindset shift for you.
Please let me know what works for you and how will you apply them to your life and business?
And why do some people have a harder time making money and others easily become rich?
Learn more about how your energy at conception affects your money issues, as Amelie St Pierre shares her insights in her blog post, “Underlying Money Issues (inherited imbalances).”
Read Amelia's first paragraph ....
"Did you know that both of your parents passed on to you way more than parts of their DNA code? Some inherited energies can be at the root of your money, as well as others, issues in your life. (I’ll speak in simple terms in this article since the concept of ‘inherited energies’ is a bit more complex than explained here from my understanding of it). You see, money is a neutral energy." Please click here to read more...
Yes, it may sound obvious to say that we wear confidence and that confidence is sexy. But really I feel many people wear confidence wrong. They get it from the wrong source and wear it the wrong way. This actually can result in repelling people or turning them off. Let me start with what I feel confidence is.
Confidence is being able to take on things that make us stretch or feel out of our comfort zone. Confidence is walking in a room and feeling good about yourself, no matter what clothes you have on, what car you drive, who’s in the room and the amount of money on your bank.
So often the external things are what either bring us confidence or deplete it. I won’t lie that wearing a great pair of heels or getting a new haircut can bring out the confidence, but in order to have a deeper level of confidence and wear it right there are hundreds of ways to pull of that look well.
Today I'll share 3 Steps to Sexy Confidence
NOT SEXY: Being too confident. No one likes talking to someone’s ego. You know how these conversations feel – like it’s a contest to see if they can one-up you or a monologue of how awesome they are.
NOT SEXY: Being too modest. You don’t want to come across as having a low opinion of yourself or that there’s nothing worth celebrating. Trust me there is a lot to celebrate, so go ahead!
SEXY Confidence: Don’t be afraid to share some of the great things that are happening in your life and then ask the same of others or even better ask them first with this questions or one of your own, “What’s something recently you feel proud of?”
NOT SEXY: Only celebrating your own success and/or not acknowledging others for their support. If someone helped you get to where you are then thank them privately or even publically.
NOT SEXY: Taking credit for others’ success. Yep, shockingly this happens! A boss of mine once took credit for my idea at a company wide meeting, a participant in a workshop posted a metaphor on social media that I just shared with her hours before, and a coach of mine once took credit for the success I had had a full year after we stopped working together. Not cool!
SEXY Confidence: Compliment people, thank them for their help and acknowledge them when they did a good job. It’s easy, just use 4 or 5 words, “You are a dynamic woman!” Or “You’re a creative business owner!” Or even better write them a card, or take them out for lunch!
NOT SEXY: Giving up at the first obstacle in your path. I have seen this all too often. Pack in the bag when the going gets tough, or say, “It wasn’t mean to be”. Goals take time and hard work to achieve. If it didn’t take any commitment the goal was too small.
NOT SEXY: Continuously changing your mind. You will confuse not only yourself, but also everyone around you. People can’t support you if they are not sure what you’re trying to achieve. AND they won’t support you if they don’t feel you’re committed.
SEXY Confidence: Going forward with something even though you don’t know the process or the result. Trusting yourself to figure it out, asking for help or persevering through is character and confidence building. You don’t know unless you try, so ask yourself two questions when you lose confidence, “What do I need to know about this?” “How do I get around or through that?” Then go do it!
People often tell me I am confident (for that I'm grateful). Yes that may be true, AND it’s a work in progress because as I grow and my business grows I enter new territory that is scary. I do things I’ve never done before, I hit obstacles that seem insurmountable and I meet and work with people who I have admired from a far. I practice what I preach to the best of my ability. It’s not always easy and I'd like to think that if it was it wouldn’t be as fun!
P.S. I’m always adding to my curated list of ways to be confident, so if you have another idea (which I’m confident you have!) then please share it below or send it to me privately at firstname.lastname@example.org)
If someone told me that I could do something that would get me to enjoy getting up earlier than normal, I'd laugh at them because I cherish my sleep. With a 4 year old and a 1 year old the trouble is I'm usually woken up by them before I wish to get up. BUT recently I've been getting up 1.5 hrs early on purpose and I'm loving it.
How is that the case?
This year I've been reading more. Devouring books and their knowledge. Enjoying the way it feels to have the quiet time with my mind and the words.
I have fallen in love..... with a concept. I feel that it's so important that when I find something new I LOVE I share it with those I care about - including you.
The concept came from the book "The Miracle Morning" By Hal Elrod. It was referred to me by a woman I adore, Deborah Stellingwerff. She said "Read it Diane, it will change your life!"
So I got it and started to learn about the Miracle Morning routine where in as little as 6 minutes you can have powerful results. It's true!
I'm more grounded, patient, healthier and more movement is happening in all areas of my life.
The basic idea is that you get up earlier than normal and start your day with the LifeSavers.
I have been doing it for a few weeks now and I love it. It has even stopped me from going to bed late (most nights) and I make better decisions about late night snacking so I can have a great sleep. Cool opportunities are coming my way and it's had a positive impact on some of my closest relationships.
I have been telling all of my clients about it and I hope you also pick up this book and use it to have a really great morning and an even better 2016!
P.S. Please comment with how you do yours. I'm curious to hear about your affirmations, what timing you like to do AND the books you've been loving! Enjoy!
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