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We are a couple of weeks into December, still a ways away from Christmas, but are you already starting to feel overwhelmed? I understand because we, as women, carry the majority of the holiday load. Frankly, we carry the majority of the mental load all year, and it's not because we want to. It's because it's expected, assumed, often invisible, and the only other people who get it are other women carrying this holiday load.  This is not about managing your calendar or finding more time in your day. It's your December Survival Guide, and I am your little elf here to support you so that you can actually feel good this season instead of overwhelmed. You deserve to feel good in December and at Christmas time, not just get through it or survive it. The Reality of December Most women move through December thinking, "I have to get it all done. Where's my list of things to do, my list of things that make magic for my kids, the list of places to go, the list of presents to buy?” There are so many things, and meanwhile, your inner world gets pushed aside, gets forgotten. There's no space for you. This is about reclaiming your calm, your joy, your sanity in a month that easily takes more than it gives. It's not about doing more. I'm not going to tell you any hacks about fitting more in. It's more about choosing differently. The Real Holiday Labor Load The real holiday labour load falls on women. Women take on so much of the emotional labour of the season: managing family dynamics, remembering traditions, making new traditions, maintaining harmony, managing everyone's mood. Women are three times more likely to report feeling overwhelmed by holiday responsibilities. This is why on Mother's Day, women just want to be left alone. We just want no one to need us. It'd be nice if people waited on us hand and foot, if we could just sip a cup of hot coffee or tea, read a book, do what we want to do. All of these facts reinforce something: your exhaustion. It's not personal, it's structural. It's based on how society has been and the expectations that fall on us. What Actually Causes December Overwhelm It's not the decorations (though we're the ones that put them up) or the dinners (though we're often the ones that make it). It's the invisible expectations:
This is where women lose themselves. The December Survival Framework Here's the strategy to help you navigate this month feeling grounded, not drained. 1. Choose the Experience You Want Most people ask, "What do I need to get done this month?" Instead, ask: What do I want December to feel like? Mine was magical and cozy (and with cozy goes calm). Here are some other answers: peaceful, simple, joyful, connected, warm, slow, playful. Let these feelings guide your choices, guide your yeses, and guide what you put in your calendars. 2. Do Less on Purpose Feeling good requires intentional subtraction. In order to feel good, we must intentionally subtract things from our list. I'm intentionally subtracting already in December. Last night, I chose to skip a holiday party and do dinner with my family. Today, I chose to not go to a networking event, but to write this. This intentional subtraction doesn't make you lazy, it makes you wise. Examples of Intentional Subtraction:
You can choose simplicity without choosing guilt. 3. Create a Grounding Ritual Do some sort of grounding ritual every single day at the start of the day to stabilize your entire month:
These small rituals help you regulate your nervous system and maintain peace and calm, so you can stay steady throughout the month. Why Women Struggle to Feel Good There are emotional roots: guilt, obligation, pressure to be the glue in the family, fear of disappointing others, avoiding conflict, and internalized responsibility. I can remember one Christmas, all this pressure for everything. People were complaining about going to church on Christmas Eve, complaining about what we were having to eat. The next morning, I was doing all this dinner prep by myself. I asked for help and no one jumped into action. I started to cry. I turned the stove off and went to my room. I needed a break, a moment where I released all the stress and pressure to make it wonderful. I decided, "Christmas will be what it is."  I came back out, had a real heart-to-heart with my family, and they stepped up. We made it a good day. We can break old family patterns. We maybe want to be that reliable one, that thoughtful one, that one that has everything together, but we don't have to be. Not only that, but we don't have to believe that rest or simplicity makes us selfish or that we don't have time for it, because we do, and we have to prioritize it. What Happens If You Don't If you continue to let the pressure build, let December overwhelm you:
The holidays don't need to feel like a performance. They should be about enjoying the moment and making a memory. You deserve a December that nourishes you, not empties you. Your Feel Good December Plan  Here are three simple, doable, powerful questions: 1. What's the feeling you want to lead with this month? Then make decisions based on that feeling. If it was magic, joy, peace, or calm, ask yourself: Is this thing going to help me get that? 2. What is one thing you're going to do less of? Where can you use strategic elimination or intentional subtraction? What can you take off your plate? 3. What is one ritual you're going to keep daily and weekly? What will help you stay grounded and nourished? These three things are your personal December Survival Guide and really your survival guide anytime you're entering a stressful time. Remember You don't have to earn your rest. You don't have to carry all the responsibility or the mental load. And you don't need a perfect holiday to have a meaningful one. You deserve a December that feels good, not overwhelming. Share this with a friend who needs to hear this message, so they can chill out a little bit and have a great December as well. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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Today, I want to talk about how awesome it is to be afraid. Being fearful actually is awesome. Why?  Well, so many people focus on not wanting to be afraid or on how fear is holding them back. But what if fear was telling you that on the other side, there's going to be a great success? Would that make it more enjoyable? Would that give you something to look forward to? Now I'm not talking about the fear of a lion in front of us or the fear of going into a burning building. I'm not talking about danger fear. I'm talking about that fear we have where we're like, "Oh my gosh, I could never email that person and ask them for a coffee date. I could never cold call that customer I really want. I would never want to speak in front of people because I'm scared." Fear Allows Better Celebration Being afraid helps us celebrate better. I was at a workshop about ten years ago, and we were doing the arrow-breaking activity where you put the pointy end on your throat and the feather end on the wall and walk forward. It was quite fearful. A lot of people were even brought to tears in the amount of fear. They were shaking. They really didn't want to do it. Maybe that's how you feel when you do public speaking, too. I had set myself up to control my emotions. I was able to really get into my head and get through the breaking of the arrow, but i was also not very present in my body or in the moment. So what happened when I got to the other side of breaking my arrow? It was pretty anticlimactic. Other people were cheering when they did it. Other people were high-fiving. I almost had to fake that enthusiasm. I feel like I missed out because I didn't allow myself to feel the fear.  In public speaking, I get nervous before I talk. I get nervous before I lead a group of dynamic women. I get nervous and feel fearful and afraid sometimes when I make that big call, when I ask for that client. What I do is I feel the fear and do it anyway. You've probably heard that expression before. What Fear Tells Us What that does for me is it keeps me on my game. It tells me that what I'm doing is so important. It helps me to be prepared rather than be apathetic and not really care about the outcome. Every time I go and present, I think, "Oh, what's this fear telling me?" It's telling me…
The Fear-Celebration Ratio Here's the thing: If your fear is at a higher level, the celebration is going to be at that level. If your fear is at a lower level, the celebration feels at the same lower level. I'm not saying you need to increase your fear. What I'm saying is don't freak out, have the fear, and then do it. Feel the fear, do it anyway, and you'll get a bigger reward. I see this in my clients all the time. When something's easy, we're like, "Oh, whatever, no big deal." But if somebody else were in your shoes, they'd say, "Wow, if I did that, I'd be so scared." That reward you're going to get, that celebration you get, is going to be equal or even more as a reward to facing that fear. What You Need to Do  Get in action. Make it happen. But listen to what the fear is telling you first. Then when you get to the other side, and you've done whatever it is that you were fearful of, celebrate it. Reward yourself. That'll be the motivation for when you face another fear, because your inner self will reassure you saying, "You know what? There's going to be goodness on the other side." Plan Your Celebration Ahead of Time You also get to plan your celebration. For example, "When I give that big presentation, that night I'm going to plan to go out with my girlfriends and share a great meal." Or, "When I do the thing I’m afraid of, then I'm going to the spa." Have something there to pull you through that fear, to motivate you to continue. I hope you'll face it so that reward on the other side is just as juicy as the amount of fear that you had. If you do something and get over your fear and reward yourself, let me know. I'd love to hear about it at [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
We budget our money with spreadsheets, apps, categories, and more. But time? We spend it like it's completely unlimited. But what if we treated time like our most valuable currency?  I wanted to use the word "invest," instead of "spend" in the title because when we invest money, there's an expected return. Spending feels like squandering. There's no ROI. But I couldn’t use "invest" in the title because I didn't want you to think about investing money in stocks, bonds, and GICs. Time as Investment It’d be great if we stopped spending our time and instead invested it. We do that by allocating it, just like we might allocate our money in a budget. When we put our money into something, we're looking for:
Every hour of our day has a strong ROI if we use it wisely. If we invest our time, we can use it to make money, boost our energy, and build stronger relationships; but when we spend time, it will drain us. Asking if the way we use our time boosts or drains us:
You could stop reading right now and just take that as the point, because it's a different way of thinking. We shouldn't give our money to software we're not using or subscriptions we're not using. A lot of times we unconsciously allocate our time to things that really aren't beneficial. The Cost of Reactivity Entrepreneurs spend a lot of their time being reactive to situations, and context switching. Even right before I recorded this, I was jumping between tasks and was like, "Stop it. Stop waiting for the person to reply. Set up a time to actually talk to them." That reactivity and context switching are actually causing entrepreneurs to lose 32% of their week. That's like a third of your time wasted that could be used more efficiently. It often hurts for us to waste our money, but it doesn't always hurt for us to waste our time. We don't see it in the same way. We're not just going to throw our money away, but we throw away our time on things like doom-scrolling or procrastination. Time budgeting, just like financial budgeting, helps you to have these five benefits:
Why Aren't People Doing This? 1. Guilt of Saying No: We'll say no to something financial because we know we maybe can't afford it or don't want to put our money towards something, and most of the time we're not embarrassed by that. We get to choose a luxury vehicle or something reliable and price conscious. We're not going to apologize to people buying one over the other. But we have a lot of guilt in saying no to something when it involves our time. If we have time, we feel like we should give it freely. People don't necessarily know how much money we have, so they're not always asking us to give that freely, but sometimes they make their own judgment on how much time we have and how much time we can give. 2. Thinking that Being Busy Equals Being Valuable: If we're thinking about being busy, we give away our time. Instead, we can think about our time being valuable, then we will invest our time on what matters to reach our goals and build relationships. 3. Reactivity Disguised as Responsibility: "I gotta deal with this. I gotta deal with this," rather than checking in and being like, "Is this a priority for me? Is this important for me?" I heard a funny expression on a show: "Not my sink, not my dishes." You don't have to wash someone else's dishes if it's not your sink. We're often put into situations where we give so much of our time to help others without actually seeing the value. The Problems When Time Is Ignored 
What Can You Do?  If you know that time is a resource, just like money is a resource, figure out how much time you have. 1. Assess Your Time: How much of my time is flexible that I can decide what happens with it? How much of my time is constricted? Like if I'm at a nine-to-five, from nine to five I only have the hour in the middle of the day that's mine, or I have the start of the day that's mine, but then I have kids at this hour. Figure out how much you have. That's usually what a financial advisor does, right? They figure out how much money you have, then you can invest it wisely. 2. Do an Audit: Look at last week and ask yourself: Where did I spend my time, and where did I invest my time, and where did I waste my time? Invest, spend, and waste. Categorize each activity towards things that are leaking your energy, draining your energy, or giving you a really high ROI. 3. Optimize High ROI Activities: Maybe an area is good, but could it be better? Could it be better if you give more time or even less time? Is there a difference between a three-hour hangout with a friend and a one-hour hangout? Could you do the one-hour hangout more often? Is three hours too much? Could you meet in the middle rather than driving the full distance? Would that be supportive of your time? 4. Reallocate Saved Time: Find one spot where you can save some time, then make sure you're allocating it to something that's a value to you. Don't find an hour and then allocate it to doom-scrolling, Netflix, or procrastinating. Actually do something that moves your needle forward and helps you achieve your goals and be happier. Invest your hours like they matter, because they do. The moment you start treating your time as currency, everything from your confidence to your results begins to shift. When you choose where your time goes, you take ownership of the life you’re creating. Until next time, stay dynamic!
(Sidenote: This blog is based on a video I recorded 11 years ago when my business was really young and I had two kids under three. Life was a very different kind of busy.)  I have felt jealousy and envy. Many times. How about you? Have you ever looked at a competitor, a colleague, a stranger online, or even someone close to you and felt that tight little pull in your chest? Think of a person right now you’ve felt a little envious of. What triggered it? Maybe it was… • Something they achieved • Something they bought • An opportunity they landed • A relationship • Their energy • Their looks • A part of their personality • Their lifestyle • Their job For me, it has been all kinds of things at different points. Years ago, I remember noticing someone on social media doing work similar to mine - coaching. And it hit me hard. I loved how she was running her business. I loved her confidence, her consistency, her presence. Then came the drop. “Why can’t I do that? Why isn’t it happening for me? That’s how I want things to look.” Have you felt that? The mix of admiration, frustration, and self-judgment. It is not fun to admit. But it is human. And social media makes it even harder. We’re no longer comparing ourselves to people in our real lives. We’re comparing ourselves to thousands of highlight reels. Perfect lighting. Perfect captions. Perfect timing. One scroll, and suddenly you’re doubting your progress, your pace, your decisions, even your identity. Even when we know it’s curated, our brains still treat it like the full picture.  During all this, my business advisor said something that snapped me back to reality. She reminded me that the woman I was comparing myself to was further along in her business, wasn’t married, had no kids, and had endless hours to pour into her brand. Meanwhile, I had two kids under three, a growing business, and a few precious part-time hours to build an empire. No wonder it didn’t look the same. No wonder the timelines were different. That perspective grounded me. It reminded me that context matters. Life stage matters. The weight you’re carrying matters. You cannot compare your full, busy, beautiful real life to someone else’s single-focus schedule or their polished online presence. Two Ways to Respond Some people shut down when jealousy hits. They think, “Well, someone already did it. Too late for me.” Or even, “They took my idea.” The other option is to use it. - To let it spark something. - To think, “Thank you for showing me what I want.” Back then, I didn’t choose the spark right away. I got annoyed. I fell into comparison. My saboteur sharpened its claws. It slowed me down. But looking back, most of the people I envied had more years in the game, more support, or just a clearer runway. And I, meanwhile, was doing my best in a season that required gentleness, not power drive. I just couldn’t see it at the time. The Mirror Lesson At one point, I opened up to someone about how embarrassed I felt about my jealousy. The advice was simple, and it stuck with me. People show up in your life for two reasons. They either hold up a mirror and show you something you need to see, or they’re someone you’re meant to help. This person was definitely holding up a mirror. And once I saw that, the whole thing shifted.  She wasn’t ahead of me. She wasn’t better than me. She was simply reflecting a version of me I hadn’t stepped into yet. And if I were telling this story today, I’d add one more thing. Sometimes people appear in your life to wake you up. To shake you out of autopilot. To make you look straight at the dream you’ve been tiptoeing around. Your Turn The next time jealousy hits, don’t judge yourself. It’s normal. Just don’t let it drag you down. Don’t let your inner saboteurs claw at your confidence. Let the feeling fuel you instead. Thank the person silently for the clarity. You don’t have to call them and say, “Thanks for sharing the photo of your new car” or “Thanks for sharing your flashy new website.” Just acknowledge the lesson and return to yourself. Then ask, “Now what am I going to do with this information?” Envy and jealousy like other emotions are just information. Let it raise your game. And let it point you toward what you truly want. Because envy usually shows up when you’re ready for your next level.
I know there are people right now who feel drained, tired, flat, and experience friction in life. So I'm pulling back the curtain on my one-woman show. I want to share my journey with you and how it's unexpectedly giving me more energy and happiness. Even though it's a bit of a stretch and honestly a little scary, it's recharging me in a way that no business strategy ever could. This blog isn't about time management or self-care because what I've discovered is that true energy doesn't just come from rest. It comes from deep alignment, expression, and this coaching term: “resonance”. Meaning to be in energy. Side Note: Join Behind the Curtain I started a Facebook group called Behind the Curtain with Diane Rolston. It's free. Jump in, and I'm going to share more tidbits, the actual nuts and bolts of me doing the new woman show. I might even come to you like a board of directors and ask questions I'm not sure about. You'll get other secrets and tips and be the first to know when the preview of the one-woman show is going to happen.  Resonance as Real Fuel There are tasks I have to do in business and life that I don't want to do that I can't even delegate to my virtual assistants. They can rob my energy. In comparison, when I do things that are more aligned to what I'm currently needing, or more aligned to my values, it gives me energy. It's this lightness, this bouncy feeling, and it helps me stay true to who I am, or at this moment, who I feel called to be, and what I feel called to say. When you do what resonates with you, something in alignment that honours your values, you're going to feel energy, ease, and flow. It's about choosing to do these things, not just what impresses people, not just what you should do, not just what pleases others, and definitely not things that dishonor your values. When you actually do things in alignment for you, your energy doesn't just grow or show up, it multiplies. My Counseling Session Revelation I was in the middle of a counseling session (I'm doing some counseling to clear out and process old emotions around my dad's death, trauma over the years, just things you keep pushing down). I'd been feeling down about some health stuff, and then I started talking about this one-woman show, and I got animated. These are ways you show you’re in resonance and feeling that alignment:
That's when I realized, "Wow, I'm in resonance right now." My counsellor said, "Whoa. That was a shift." This was the realization: I need to be more in this. I'm in the right place, and it's good for me. True energy doesn't come from just doing more (we can always do more, we can always add to our schedules, please don't). It comes from doing what aligns with your values, your purpose, and your joy. If you don't know your values, send me an email: [email protected]. I can do a values session where you find your values, see if you're honouring or dishonouring them, and put a plan in place so you can feel this energy all the time. Resonance is that feeling of "this fits, this is me, this is where I'm supposed to be." When your actions match your values, you create energy —like throwing kerosene on a fire —rather than pouring water on it, taking away its power and energy. Dissonance: The Opposite Dissonance is the opposite. It's hard, like pushing a rock up a hill. There's friction; it's draining, and you dread it —maybe even avoid it.  When you're doing something that deeply matters to you, like my creative work on this one-woman show, I can work for hours and still feel alive. Maybe you've felt that way:
When you're out of alignment, even the smallest task feels heavy. The worst part is you start trying to get yourself to do more, do it better, thinking something's wrong with you, but really you're just out of alignment and out of resonance. The Science Behind It Studies show that when you live in alignment with your core values, you experience higher motivation, stronger emotional resilience, and 20% more daily energy. When I talk about this and people ask, "What's new?" and I say, "I'm writing a one-woman show," I get giddy and excited. It's like, I'm sharing that I'm going on vacation." Alignment isn't a mindset trick like saying 10 affirmations. It's actually biological. When your actions match your purpose, your nervous system relaxes, your creativity increases, and you restore energy while doing the work. If you're in dissonance and energy is being drained, it's hard, negative, you dread it, and your nervous system gets tense like waiting in a really long lineup to pay a bill, or doing taxes or another task you hate. The Benefits of Resonance
 This is what I've been experiencing as I write my show. Yes, there are hard times. I'm not inherently a writer. I don't know how to write scripts. I'm learning dialog. My writing coach keeps saying, "Diane, you just wrote a great speech. Now we have to bring it to the stage." I'm having to learn and rewire my brain, but this fulfillment creates energy. Rather than feeling like I have a learning gap, I'm like a sponge. Why Alignment Feels Hard It's not always easy to say yes to things. In your business or life, there are things that create resonance and things that create dissonance. 1. Society's Expectations: Maybe you have a nine-to-five or a business different from your hobbies or passions. It goes against what society thinks we should be spending our time and money on. I've had clients say, "Diane, I don't want a promotion. I don't want to build my business. Is it wrong that I just want to be at home and make crafts with my kids and feed them grilled cheese sandwiches?" I reassure them, "No, not if that’s your dream and ideal life." All the tasks we do, all the ways we choose to spend our time, and the goals we have don't need to be what society deems as success. We shouldn’t say yes to things that don't match our values, but we do it to keep the peace, keep up with the Joneses, because we feel we should, or because others around us are doing it. 2. Staying in Obligations That Don't Fit: I remember being part of a networking group with amazing people, but 60-70% served the senior market. My business advisor asked, "Is this serving your business?" I said, "Well, no, but they're good people." He said, "How often are you seeing your friends?" and "You don't need to stay in a group that no longer serves you." 3. Confusing Productivity with Purpose: We're doing more, but feeling less. We're in less resonance, less energy, and have less motivation. As overachieving women, we override our inner signals saying "Don't do this." We say yes to things that don't serve us and push through even when something feels off. Your body and your energy always tell the truth when you're out of alignment. Have you been invited somewhere and hesitated to say yes? That's you saying you don't want to go. If you wanted to go, your energy would be like "Yes, yes." I was speaking to a theater about their artists’ hub program. At first, I thought, "Is it too much work? Too much commitment? Am I already so far in my business that I'd be around younger or newer people?" But when I got off that call, I was so excited. I was like, "Who can I tell?" So I knew that was a yes. If you hesitate or start to feel exhausted, irritated, or lack motivation, it's not in alignment. The Cost of Misalignment When you're in misalignment, in dissonance, it doesn't just drain energy, it dulls your joy. I've seen clients come to me living in black and white, but when you live in alignment, in resonance, your color comes back. Like the start of The Wizard of Oz when everything's in black and white, then all of a sudden comes to colour. High-achieving women, successful women, will work harder when they feel unhappy or that something's missing, but it doesn’t help they just feel emptier and more tired. You get to a point where you don't even know why you started. You don't have clarity. You slowly start living a version of success that only looks good on paper but doesn't feel good inside. That's why I had to leave corporate. My life looked so good on paper, and that's why I held on for so long. I was measuring life according to success - and it looked good. I wasn't measuring my life according to satisfaction, or even giving satisfaction, resonance, or alignment any space because I didn't know about them. Your Alignment Check
That little voice, your alignment, the resonance, the energy, that's a compass for where you should go. You don't have to have it all figured out. Just take the next step. The more you listen to it, the more natural energy and joy you're going to create, even if it's just "I'd like to paint a picture" or "I want to organize my closets." If those things bring you joy, happiness, resonance… amazing. Go do them. When you honour what resonates in your life and work, things feel easy, not a grind. There's that flow. Join Me One more invite to join me in the Behind the Curtain Facebook group. If you want to explore this topic more, email me: [email protected]. Let's talk about getting you into more resonance. If you have a few questions you want to run by me, I'm doing a Mastermind Q&A session on November 14, from 9 to 11 AM PST. It's a mastermind where you ask and I answer, or you can bring your goals, and we can strategize and map out the next steps. Final Thoughts I've learned that energy isn't something you chase or schedule. It's cultivated, it's birthed, and it grows through alignment and being in resonance. The more you live, work, and create in resonance with your truth, the more energy and fulfillment you'll have, not only in your own life but to lead others. That's how I'm gaining energy right now, writing my one-woman show. I just got accepted to the artists’ program at a local theatre, and I'm so pumped. I'm doing something in resonance and giving me energy, but also something that scares me a little, stretches me a little, but at the end of the day feels so deeply aligned. I want the same for you. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Every successful woman eventually faces fear, but not the kind that stops you. The kind that signals growth. A lot of times, we think of it as a negative thing, but it's actually saying you are expanding. Right now, I'm doing something completely new: writing and performing a one-woman show. Honestly, it's equal parts terrifying and thrilling. As I got off a recent Zoom meeting with my one-woman-show coach, it made me think. Whether you're scaling your business, stepping out on stage as a speaker, or finally launching that next big idea, product, or book, growth always comes with a little fear.  In this blog, I'm sharing how high-achieving women like us can use fear as fuel, not a stop sign. We're going to use it as a way to step into bigger confidence, bigger creativity, and more impact in the world. The Comfort Crossroad Even though I've spoken on hundreds of stages to massive audiences and published podcasts, books and blogs, writing this one-woman show then performing it as an actor putting feels raw, personal, and it's stretching me. Every successful woman hits this crossroad where comfort feels safe and nice, but it also feels small, and you're craving something more. That was the spark I needed for writing my own one-woman show. I needed that expansiveness. For women entrepreneurs and leaders, growth doesn't just come from more strategy, more work, more hours. It comes from courage, and it's going to give you some really great stories. If you've been playing it safe recently, this is your reminder. Your next level is waiting on the other side of what scares you. Fear Is a Sign of Expansion Fear means you're in new territory. As you start to leave your bubble of comfort into something new, your inner self says, "Danger. Fear means stop. Fear means we're in trouble." But actually, you can't grow and expand without fear. Fear is telling us we're going out of that zone, but you're safe, you're okay. Just because it can feel scary doing the show, and it's an industry I don't know, it doesn't mean I'm failing. It means I'm expanding. When you're growing your muscles and there's a little pain, it doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It means there's been growth and progress. The show terrifies me in the best way.
But that's how I know this is the right next thing: I care, and it's helping me feel alive rather than apathetic or complacent, which happens when high achievers reach that peak of success. Fear is proof you're stepping into unfamiliar territory, and it’s good because that's where the next level lies. The Science Behind Fear Did you know that moderate fear actually increases your focus, creativity, and motivation? When you're in that heightened state, it pushes you into higher performance. You know that feeling right before you have to be “on”, or right before an interview?  Being scared is just the next step. Rather than being a red flag, it's actually a green light saying, "Go, move forward. This is good for you" because it's building your confidence mindset and it's leadership development. You're learning to regulate that fear, building emotional mastery and resilience. I'm not saying that tomorrow I'm going to fill a 700-person theater and pitch to Netflix. I'm doing the steps that make sense for where I'm at. Meeting Your Inner Critic When I first sat down to start writing part of my show, my inner critic was super loud. "Who are you to do this? What if it's not good? How are you going to fill a theater?" Then I realized this voice shows up when I'm doing something new, something that matters, something that stretches me. Those saboteurs start barking and saying stupid things that aren't true, but we can pull some truth nuggets from them.
Every time I get on stage, I still feel a bit of that fear. A speaking colleague told me yesterday, "Before I get on stage, every time I feel a little bit nervous." Feel the fear and do it anyway. Fear isn’t a stop sign. It's just a signal that you're standing on the edge of your next breakthrough. The Benefits of Facing Fear
My One-Woman Show Journey I had this spark after seeing a fellow Canadian Association of Professional Speakers member do her keynote in a theater. It seemed more as a show than a talk. Another member went on tour and built cool promo assets. At the Global Speakers Summit in Bali, one speaker wore costumes and developed this world. I thought, "This is exactly what I want to do." Since then, I've taken a one-person show class, and two writing courses. This week I spoke to a local theater and will probably join their artists' community for a year. Hopefully late January, early February, I'll do my first Show Preview. If you want more updates about my one-woman show journey, join my Facebook group. I’d very much appreciate your support.  Why We Avoid Fear
Many high-achieving women unconsciously trade expansion for comfort, especially with kids, aging parents, and everything else. But safety and stagnation can feel almost identical. The Problems If We Stay Comfortable
Permission to Pursue What Scares You I got to the point where I was talking with my business coaches about the next offering, what I'm marketing, what I'm selling. I said, "I don't know. What I want to do is just write my show. I don't want to do all those other things right now." Permission granted for me to write my show and perform it, and for you to do the same. Your Challenge Don't wait. Do the thing that scares you. Send the pitch, raise your rates, share the post, make the video. Say yes to an opportunity that makes your stomach flip. Invite a new friend out. Go on a date. Take your spouse on a date. Take a class you've been wanting to take: painting, music, dance, whatever it may be. Fear isn't failure. It's feedback that you're evolving, and we want to evolve to be satisfied in life. For every entrepreneur, high achiever, and leader reading this blog, your next level of confidence and creativity is waiting on the other side of discomfort. Final Thoughts Remember, fear isn't failure. It's feedback that you're expanding because you can't evolve and stay comfortable at the same time. That's where the magic happens. Fear doesn't mean you're off track. It means you're alive, awake, and in motion. Do that thing that scares you, not because you're fearless, but because you're ready for what's next, and you want that growth. Growth will always ask for just a little bit of fear, and that's how you know it's worth it. If this message spoke to you, let me know. Send me a message: [email protected] or on your favorite social platform. Share this with another powerful woman who's ready to grow, or who wants more courage. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you ever looked back on something you did in the past and thought, “Who was I then? How was I so confident, yet so naive—or so new and fresh at what I was doing?” The truth is, you achieved it because you decided to be confident—or whatever quality you needed at that moment. Your identity drives your success, habits, energy, visibility, and results.  Because you don’t get what you want. You get what you believe you are. And that’s what we’re diving into today: confidence and identity shifts for female entrepreneurs. The Chicken and the Egg Do you become confident because you’ve done the things, or do you first decide to be confident and then achieve? In high school, I decided I’d be the graduation MC. My mom said, “I don’t understand how you could ever do that.” But I thought, I’ve never done it… I’ll just step into the role. Being naive meant I had fewer expectations. I didn’t need to know how to do it or even expect a great result. I just gave it a try and loved it. Same thing with rugby. As a rookie varsity kicker with everyone watching, I had to walk up like I was confident. At that level, every kick could win or lose the game. So I became the person who would do well and thankfully, I kicked 7 for 7 in that first university game. Your Reflection Point As you read this, ask yourself - Where can you choose to be more confident? - Where can you be more of who you want to be (the person who wins)? I’m going to share the benefits, obstacles, and problems if ignored and a call to action you can implement in your life, business, or career. From Faking It to Owning It This idea that you can actually be the person who does something, who wins, who's confident before you achieve it. That's the whole idea of faking it till you make it. But instead of faking it, you're going to actually own that quality. Whatever you need to do to be able to own that quality, it's actually going to help you more so than actually doing the task, because it's going to help you to get into a place of ‘being’ when you go to do the ‘doing’. The Benefits
A Quick Fact: Identity-based habits (who you see yourself as) are three times more likely to stick than outcome-based goals. Believing "I am a healthy person" works better than "I will do healthy habits." Believing in who you are matters way more than the plan of what to do. Many clients say, "I just don't know why I'm not motivated to do these things," or "I feel like an imposter." These feelings happen even as we reach new levels of success. But if you anchor into who you believe you are—and act from that identity—you’ll see greater results. The Obstacles 1. Waiting to Feel Ready: A client once told me, “I don’t feel like an author.” The funny part? She’d already published a book. Another said, “I’ll launch my program after a few more courses.” I reminded her, “If I booked you for a talk tomorrow, you could deliver eight workshops right now.” She laughed and said, “You’re right. 2. Letting Old Stories Define New Opportunities: We focus on actions and outcomes instead of who we are being.
If you’ve never done something before, look at other times you faced fear and succeeded. Transfer that strength forward. 3. Playing Small to Seem Relatable or Likable: High-achieving women… this one’s for you. We often play small to avoid making others feel insecure or jealous. We downplay compliments: “Oh, this old thing?” But doing that hides your brilliance. You don’t need to dim your light to make others comfortable. The Problems If Ignored 
 One Last Story I have been very grateful that I have been given some naive confidence at some parts in my life. I've also been very blessed to have a mother and a father, who believed in me so much. My Mom would say, "You can do it." I would be in times in my life where I'd lack confidence, saying, "I can't do this." And then I'd change my thoughts, "No, but mom says I can. I don't know how, but mom believes I can, therefore I can." I've just stepped into that false confidence, almost that inflated-by-somebody-else confidence, and I've stepped up. Still, I’ve had moments where I downplayed my expertise, stayed quiet, or acted like a student instead of a leader. Even though other times, I stepped up and showed who I truly am. It's not always easy. I get it. It's not always easy to be confident. But could you pick that you are going to be the woman who wins? Can you? Someone's got to win. So could it be you? It totally could be. Your Call to Action I want you to finish this line. Maybe "win" or "confident" aren't words for you. But if you were to finish the statement, "I am the woman who..." and you add in an adjective. Is it…
"I am the woman who..." How would you fill that in? I'm really curious. Let me know. Email me: [email protected], or comment below. What would it be like if, after you made that statement, "I am the woman who...," you started acting like her today? Not once it's proven, not once you say, "Oh, okay, I am a woman who's confident because I did X, Y, Z," but just decide that you're going to be it. I promise you that if we spent a little time together, I could probably find many instances where you have been these things, and we could easily transfer them over, because honestly, waiting for the actions to happen is going to be much harder than just deciding today to be that woman. Identity precedes action. You got this! If you haven't yet, share this with a friend. The next bunch of blogs that I have coming up are bolder. They're more powerful. I was in this energy for a while of really wanting to speak to you in those moments of obstacle and hardship and overwhelm and not feeling like yourself and things not going your way. Now we're on the up. Now we're in this area of more boldness, more power, more being unapologetic, stepping into that motivation, that inspiration to get you moving towards your goals. I just brought on a few new clients, though I do have two more spots for one-on-one coaching clients. If this is something that you have been pondering, or you're curious about, email me: [email protected] and let's have a chat. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Did you know that in business and life, not every season is meant to be a sprint? Sometimes, maintaining is the smartest move you can make. But so many of us high achievers equate slowing down with falling behind. So ask yourself: What if holding steady was actually part of your growth strategy?  In this blog, I’m discussing a topic that every business owner and professional woman faces, but we don't plan for: determining whether you're in momentum season or maintenance season. My Personal Wake-Up Call I remember after my dad passed, I really should have been in full-blown maintenance season. Maintenance season is the time when you hold back, maybe put stuff in place behind the scenes, and you're juggling fewer balls or maybe less in the public eye. Momentum season is when you're moving forward, pushing, doing a lot, putting out more energy, and maybe you're in the public eye more. I really should have been behind the scenes. We were putting together the Confidence Secrets book, the second in the Dynamic Women book series. I had so many authors in it and wanted to get more authors. I can remember not having the energy or desire or excitement anymore to fill the last spots. I said to one of my business coaches, "But I'm only at 34 authors and I need to get 52." He was like, "Who said you need to get 52?" I replied, "Well, that's what we did in the first book, Success Secrets, and I wanted to do the same." "Well, do you have to do that? Can you still create a really good book with 34 people?" "Yeah, I could. I guess to make it bigger, I could add in more of my own stuff." He asked, "Yeah, why don't you do that? What would it take for you to muster the energy to be able to fill the rest of the book?" "I just don't have it in me." He said, "That's totally fine. Just put it out the way it is. You didn't promise your authors to have 52 people. Who made that rule? You did. So you can change it." I was so appreciative of that moment because I felt pressure in a maintenance season to do more and to push and to kind of have momentum. But I realized my energy and my ability to perform at that time. I couldn't do it. This wasn't failure, it was wisdom, thanks to my coach, I needed to really honor that maintenance season. Understanding the Two Seasons Momentum seasons and maintenance seasons are both essential for long-term success in business and life. The problem is, society glorifies momentum, and we shame maintenance. We shame people when they're not doing crazy things. Even, "What's new?" That's a momentum question, along with when people ask you that, "What's new and exciting?" I've been guilty of asking that of people. The idea of honouring maintenance, of being in that place of "I just need to keep it together" or "I just need to do some stuff behind the scenes", it's not necessarily growth, but it's keeping things as they are, or maybe even improving things behind the scenes. Maintenance is where systems are strengthened, creativity recharges, and your success becomes more sustainable because you have things in place that are going to help you get further. Knowing what season you're in is crucial, not only so that you can make decisions, but so that you can own it and give yourself permission to either go for it or take a break. And that's going to prevent burnout. It's also going to prevent guilt. The Marathon Runner Example One of my soccer teammates runs marathons, and after she did the actual race where she had a personal best, she said to us, "Hey, I can't make practice because I just did a marathon." When I asked a member of my Kenya Mission Team who's a marathon runner how many races she does a year, she said, "Two to four, maybe." I was like, "Oh, because they're expensive to go to?" She said, "No, no. The sweet spot is typically two to four marathons per year that allows enough time for recovery or maintenance and then proper training between the races, the momentum stage."  Even just doing two a year, spaced out six months apart, is a really common and manageable goal for runners. She had a personal best because she was honoring recovery days, the maintenance mode, so that her muscles could rebuild. Business and life are so much the same. Two to four major goals or projects per year, personally or in business, is the momentum stage. Depending on if there's one massive thing, then maybe it's just one big thing. The cool fact is that companies that actually strategically pause, just like the runners, who decide they’re only going to do two to four major launches, product drops, summits, book launches, whatever it may be. Those who strategically pause to consolidate, to build those systems, they actually outperform those companies who consistently chase that growth, who are in momentum all the time, by 30% over five years. It's proof that the stillness needs to happen. The strategy is best to be able to have that constant burst and pause, rather than constant acceleration. The Benefits of Embracing Your Season What are the benefits of embracing the season that you're in? Whether it's maintenance or momentum, it doesn't matter. The most important thing is you want to align your effort with your reality, because when you do, you're going to gain so many things.
My Business Example In one maintenance season for me, the business Virtual Assistant Made Easy had massive growth. We were at 50 clients, 16 VAs, and I hadn't done much coaching, workshops or speaking engagements for a while because I was so focused on building that business. Then I was like, "Okay, no, no more. We have to stop this momentum. It's too crazy. I'm always trying to catch up and trying to put the systems in place." I just said, "I have to get out of momentum, and go into maintenance." So I did a hiring freeze. I didn't hire any VAs for probably a year because when I have a VA, I am responsible for filling their client list. So I thought, "No, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to focus on refining our systems: hiring systems, training systems, client systems, onboarding systems etc., instead of adding more clients." It was great, and it was good for my team too, just to give them some time to catch up. That season, I didn't grow my revenue beyond where it was, but I doubled my capacity later because we were able to automate more things. I was able to teach or train and pass off more things. Maintenance, in this case, created the structure for the momentum, for that next wave of momentum when it came. Why We Resist Maintenance There are obstacles and reasons why we resist it:
What Happens If You Ignore Your Season If you don't understand your maintenance, if you don't recognize the true season that you're in, and you stay in momentum for too long: 
Once, I had back-to-back launches that looked successful from the outside, but internally, it was chaos. I wasn't in maintenance mode long enough to get my systems fully ready. The next time I paused, fixed the processes, trained the team, and the next launch ran like clockwork. That's the power of maintenance. Your Action Step Ask yourself right now: Are you in maintenance season, or are you in momentum season? Be honest. Don't be idealistic. If you're in momentum, go all in. Do it, but protect your energy so you don't burn out. That'd be like that marathon runner trying to sprint the whole race. If you're in maintenance mode, honour it. Use the time to rebuild, to recharge, and to strengthen your foundation, not only in your business, but in your life. Either way, there's no shame. They’re both strategic. Both seasons matter, just like the seasons in nature. We don't get mad in Autumn because the trees aren’t growing fruit and the leaves are falling. Remember, growth isn't just about acceleration. It's also about knowing when to slow down so that you can rise stronger later. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Do you believe that even the strongest women need support? I'm guessing you do because you're probably a strong, high-achieving woman yourself. October 10th was World Mental Health Day, and I want to talk about a group of women who are often overlooked: the mental health of high-achieving women who seem to have it all together.  The Invisible Load High-achieving women are the ones everyone relies on: the leaders, the fixers, the steady ones, the smart ones, the successful ones, the caring ones. But sometimes those same women are quietly carrying the heaviest load. That's because people come to us as the fixers and problem solvers. As the leaders, our followers come to us. As the steady ones, people know they can rely on us. There's that saying: "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." Oftentimes, the high achiever is the one getting everything done, but suffering silently. When was the last time you were asked how you're really doing, and the person was ready for the real answer? Not "How is your business doing?" or "How is your family doing?" but "How are YOU doing?" I know what it's like to look like you have it all together, so people don't bother asking you how you're doing, while still feeling so overwhelmed behind the scenes. Sometimes when I visit my naturopath, and she asks, "How are you doing?" in that caring way, it brings tears to my eyes. Just that feeling of someone creating time and space who actually cares about the answer. Don't get me wrong, I have great friends. But people think that because we have things put together, and we're strong, confident, and outgoing, that we're fine. We've seen it in the public eye: those who seem most gregarious, strong, successful, and funny are often struggling the most. Mental health struggles don't skip the strong. Often the most capable women are carrying the most pressure and feel the least permission to ask for help. Even when we’re sick, we still have to do a ton of stuff to do because of how others view us. "Mom can work through it", “the boss can still get it done” or "my wife can work through it," while others get to be out sick. We don't have as much permission to ask for help because, being the high achiever at the top, there's not enough room for it. Strength and Struggle Can Coexist Strength and struggle can absolutely coexist. We can look like we have it all together and be completely falling apart behind the scenes. It's not that it's a mask, it's survival: doing the things that need to be done while potentially pushing down emotions when there's no time, space, or people to talk to. If this is you, make sure you have a great coach, counselor, or support system so you do have time, space, and someone supportive to help you. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It makes you wise. It helps you move forward, get over the things that are happening, and feel witnessed, seen, and supported, which is crucial to continuing to do what you do. My Personal Struggles I remember lying in bed nursing my first baby when the cat came up and rubbed on me, and I started to cry. My husband ran in: "Are you okay?" I said, "Yes, it's just that the cat wants me to pet her, and baby wants me to nurse her, and you want to hang out with me, and my clients are messaging me." I was an absolute mess. Until then, he thought everything was fine. I realized later I was sleep-deprived and had postpartum depression, though I didn't think I did because the typical questions they ask didn't apply to me. But there have been other times when I've juggled everything: my coaching business, VA Made Easy business, a book launch, coaching clients, parenting, playing soccer, being a wife, my house. I kept telling myself, "I'll just push through until things slow down." When people asked me to do more, I'd say I was busy, and they wouldn't believe me saying, "Well everyone's busy." I thought things would just slow down, but they never did. I've had times when I've struggled mentally, not just postpartum depression or situational grief after my father's passing, but genuine mental health struggles in my adulthood. Finally, what helped was admitting how tired I was, admitting I couldn't do it all, and that I needed my team and family to take on more. The moment I did, I felt relief and hope, and my stress dropped. The business didn't crumble when I slowed down. My family didn't struggle when I did less around the house. Things actually got stronger because I was stronger. The Research Research shows that higher-performing women report higher rates of anxiety and burnout than men in similar roles. We're very emotionally intelligent, but we carry both the visible work and the invisible workload: emotional labor, family logistics, planning.  How many tabs do you have open right now? Not just on your computer, but in your head. Where are the kids? What's for dinner? Do I need to flip that laundry, I need to call my friend, order that birthday present, make those plans. That's just life, not even business. Beyond Basic Self-Care For years, I thought self-care was grabbing a five-minute shower between calls, treating myself to coffee on the run, or going for a walk before my day starts. But really, mental health isn't just about physical rest. It's about giving yourself permission to stop pretending you're fine when you're not. The problem with society is we don't pause long enough after asking, "How are you doing?" We're looking for that automatic, quick answer so we can get on with the conversation. But when someone sits there and says, "How are you doing? How are things going?" and maybe speaks truth into it ("Your life seems really busy right now"), that creates space to open up. The Benefits of Opening Up 1. We Normalize That It's Okay Not Be Okay You don't have to pretend. With high achievers, there's often no time to not be okay, and we just move on to the next thing. People expect us to put on our big girl panties, pull up our bootstraps, and keep going. 2. We Create Connection You won't feel alone in your struggle. When someone tells you about their struggle, don't try to one-up them. Listen. You can relate, but be supportive: "That's hard, but I'm here for you." 3. We Catch Burnout Early I've had clients come to me after burnout or on the verge of burnout. We want to catch it before. Talking about it helps you release stress and create solutions: time, boundaries, priority setting. 4. We Strengthen Relationships Through Honesty Some of my best relationships formed in the hardest times. Sharing what I'm going through has helped people hear my vulnerability, know me as me, and see the real version, not the polished one. A Lesson from Kenya Earlier this year in Kenya, I was surrounded by incredible women and men doing powerful work. Even in service of others, they prioritized connection, rest, and faith. Every day around 10:30 or 11 am, we'd pause for tea and sweet bread or samosas. It wasn't a quick 15 minutes. It was time to enjoy and have camaraderie. Community supports mental health. While we may be leaders and solo sprinters, we're not meant to do life, business, family, or parenting alone. Why High Achievers Don't Speak Up - Four inner voices that stop us… 1. Fear of Judgment "What if they think I can't handle my job, my leadership position, my board post, and they take it away?"  2. Perfectionism "Strong women don't struggle. High achievers are succeeding. We don't have problems. Just figure it out." 3. Responsibility Overload "Everyone's counting on me. There's no way I can take a break, say no, or miss the deadline." 4. Conditioning "Keep going no matter what." I've played sports with broken fingers, broken toes, and sprained ankles. We tape it up and truck on. It's the same with mental health: we slap an invisible band-aid on and keep going. The trouble is, it's like a geyser. We push it down and down until it blows at an unexpected time. The Soccer Story I'm known as the encourager on my soccer team: "Good job! Good pass! Awesome!" I'm cheering everyone on, positive and optimistic. But one night after practice, my face went neutral, and someone asked, "Are you okay?" I almost cried. No one had really asked me for weeks. I could hear in her voice, her tone, her facial expressions that she was concerned. How often are strong women asked if they're okay? People assume we're fine because we make it look easy. What Happens When We Ignore It 1. Burnout - You run out of emotional fuel. 2. Isolation - You feel disconnected, even in a crowd, with your team, or with friends. 3. Decreased Performance - Your creativity and focus fade. High achievers should care about this one. 4. Resentment - Everything feels like "I have to do this" instead of "I want to do this." Do you lie awake at night with your brain replaying things you have to do or things that happened? I've had times in bed when I couldn't rest because there was so much going on, like old cinema reels flipping images through my mind. Your Call to Action This week has a double focus: 1. Check in on the strongest women (and men) you know. Ask them how they're really doing. You'll know if they give you a polished answer or the real one. If they say "Oh you know busy" or "I'm okay," say, "No, how are you really doing?" 2. If you are the strong one, the go-to, the reliable one, it's your turn to reach out. Tell someone you're struggling if you are. Say, "I just want to talk about how hard life is right now" or "Can I share something that's on my mind?" Talk to a friend, coach, or counselor. Book a session. Pray. Journal. Whatever helps you release the mental load. The Bottom Line Mental health isn't just about one day on October 10th. Mental health isn't a luxury; it's a foundation for everything else we need. It should be a human right to be mentally healthy. It builds into everything: how you lead, the things you build, the things you love, the things you do. Care for yourself and care for those around you. You won't even fully understand the impact you make when you ask someone and really check in on how they're doing. If this blog spoke to you, share it with another strong woman who might need this reminder. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Are you the person who gives endlessly to clients, teams, families, friends, loved ones, and neighbours? The list goes on and on, but in the process, you forget the most essential person: yourself. While I know you understand that prioritizing yourself is important, I'm going to give you permission to actually do it.  In the process of managing all those tasks, situations and people, plus making sure everyone's good, you disappear. It's truly sad, but it's a fact. When I ask people to write down their priorities, the one thing they often don't write down is their own name. I'd like to ask you: When was the last time you put yourself on your own priority list? Beyond Basic Self-Care Maybe you're thinking, "I get my nails done, I get my hair done, I read a book the other day." That's fine. Or maybe you have a business, and you put all your goals on your priority list. That's great too. But is everything you need and want to not only survive but thrive happening in your current schedule? Do you prioritize yourself in your decision-making? The Big Ideas Here are the key concepts I want you to understand to share with you: Prioritizing yourself isn't selfish, it's smart. It helps you be not selfish but self-full. Not full of yourself in an egotistical way, but full of self so you are feeling fulfilled, and energetic because you're honouring yourself. You know the saying about putting your own oxygen mask on first on an airplane? Well, prioritizing yourself is the foundation of sustainable success. You can't lead powerfully, create boldly, or serve effectively if you're exhausted, resentful, and have no time for yourself. The women who rise aren't doing more. They're protecting their energy better. Let me say that again: The women who rise aren't doing more, they're protecting their energy better. My Wake-Up Call People often say, "Diane, you do so much and achieve so much." But the reality is, I've been figuring out how to be more places and do more things without it taking more of my time and energy. There have been times when I put everyone else first. About 10 years ago, I had a client who was hosting an event. I was going to support her and to speak on stage, but I was throwing up all night long. You know those nights when you're hugging the toilet bowl and don't care that you're lying on the bathroom floor? That's when you know you’re really sick. All night, I was thinking about my client and the need to be there, not about my need to rest and get better. In the morning, after throwing up all night (probably food poisoning), I had a few soda crackers, showered, and was one of the first people there and one of the last to leave. I was dead for days afterward. Why did I do it? I have a strong value of commitment, and I'm not a flake. But did I have to be first there, and the last out? Could I have just shown up, done my talk, and left? For sure. That would have prioritized myself. That was a time in my life when I said yes to everything else: new clients, speaking gigs, collaborations, other people's needs and demands. If there was an opportunity, I would do it. But the problem is, it was depletion in disguise. The Turning Point I had to start blocking time for me to think, rest, breathe, go for walks, do counselling, see a doctor, whatever was needed. The truth is, my business didn't die. My life didn't fall apart. I didn't lose friends or relationships. Everything grew because I showed up with more energy, focus, and creativity. A Sobering Stat Women who don't prioritize rest and self-care are 60% more likely to burn out than men in similar roles. Why? It's called mental load or the invisible load: emotional management, household coordination, team harmony. We have to be on top of every little piece. I bet if I asked you right now how many eggs you have, when you need to do laundry next, how much hand soap you have, your kids' best friends' names, you'd know all of these things because this is part of the mental load we carry. We're not only prioritizing activities and people in our lives, we're keeping a running inventory of everything as well. Three Benefits Here are the benefits of prioritizing yourself. Which do you want the most? 1. More Energy Who doesn't want more energy? You get to give more because you replenish yourself and have more to give.  2. Better Decisions Your brain's rested, so you can be clear, focused, and make confident choices when you have space to think. 3. Resilience You bounce back faster when you have stress or setbacks. It doesn't take you down, just slows you down for a moment until you figure out the pivot or next approach. My Sleep Revelation - How I realized I wasn’t prioritizing myself I realized I was feeling more emotional, had less ability to think clearly, couldn't make good decisions, and didn't have much resilience. I thought, "It must be menopause." It wasn't until I looked at my Fitbit reports that I realized I hadn't had consistently more than six and a half hours of sleep (and most weeks averaged five and a half hours). When stats say women need eight to ten hours of sleep, I was basically sabotaging myself. What were my priorities instead? Cleaning up, getting other work done, other people's agendas. It was not pretty, and it was not good for me. Why Do We Struggle to Prioritize Ourselves? 1. Guilt "How can I rest when there's so much to do?" We feel guilty that things aren't getting done or that we're not living up to roles and responsibilities, so we continue to push ourselves.  2. Fear The worry that if you slow down, it looks like you're slacking off, lazy, or your commitment is lacking. We fear looking bad or falling behind if we say no or don't do things to crazy high standards at our own self-sacrifice. 3. Conditioning We've been trained to put everyone else first. Here's a story of how a shower made me mad and taught me permission to care for myself. When my kids were young (a three-year-old and a baby), I was also building my business. My husband came home from work and disappeared upstairs. I heard the shower go on and was so mad. "I wanted to take a shower! Why did he get to go take a shower?" When he came down, I said, "Must be nice. You get to go take a shower." He said, "You want to have a shower? Go take a shower." I replied, "Yes, but the baby needs to be changed, our daughter wants a book read, dinner has to be made, laundry has to be folded..." He said, "No, you don't. Just go shower." It's funny how I always checked in with everyone around me to make sure everyone was okay before I would do something for myself. Have you ever done that? Has a client or team member ever told you, "You're always available"? Was that really a compliment? Are you always available because you're afraid of not serving a client or not living up to some standard? What Happens When You Don't Prioritize Yourself (Score yourself on a scale of 1-10 on these three consequences. 10 being "Yes, this is happening to me" and 1 is “Not at all”.) 1. Chronic Stress That feeling of "I'm always on." You can't turn your brain off at night before bed, or if you awaken, it's hard to get back to sleep. You never really pause or chill. Even on vacation or doing something you like, you're still thinking of your to-do list instead of being present. 2. Resentment Resentment builds. Look at the resentment I had for my husband just taking a shower! What you once loved can feel heavy and hard to do. You might have loved to cook before, and now you don't even want to do that. 3. Creativity Fades You can't be innovative, creative, and passionate when you're exhausted. You can't pour from an empty cup. It's not just about filling your own cup first… fill it so much that it overflows into the saucer, then give from the saucer, not from the cup. If you're a CEO, you need creativity to move your business forward, to be innovative, agile, and able to pivot. If you're in a career, you need creativity to problem-solve and support different situations. Where are you on each of these, and where do you want to be? For example, if chronic stress is at a 6 out of 10, you probably want to be down at a 2 or 3. What would need to happen to get you there? The Real Problem I constantly see brilliant women who are burnt out, not from lack of ability, intelligence, desire, or success, but from a lack of prioritizing themselves and setting boundaries. Then they can't move forward because they're the bottleneck holding themselves back. Your Action Step This coming week, set one non-negotiable hour for yourself. Protect it like your most important meeting or client. You can either set it up in advance (a walk, a nap, coffee at your favorite shop, time to think, create, draw, play, read, cook) or start that time and ask yourself, "What do I really want to do right now?" Doing the dishes, laundry, or finishing a business project are not the answers. What would actually prioritize you? When guilt creeps in, and you think "I could do more, be more, have more, serve more people," remind yourself: My worth isn't in how much I give. It's in how intentionally I live. The Number One Limiting Belief From my program called The Breakthrough (previously called Dynamic Year), where we discuss limiting beliefs, the number one I've found is: "I am not enough." When "I am not enough" is active, we push and do more, and that's when we don't prioritize ourselves. The women who thrive aren't the ones running the hardest. We need to move away from hustle culture. They're the ones who’ve stopped apologizing for taking care of themselves for not attending certain events, not helping people move, saying no to certain clients or projects, setting boundaries. When you love yourself and prioritize yourself, you shouldn't have to apologize. You can be apologetic that you missed something because you wanted to be there, but not for saying yes to yourself. My Own Journey I've had so many opportunities to be on boards, co-chair conferences, attend conventions, and speak at different places. When I look at my life right now and how my kids need me, I've had to say “no” to honor them, but more importantly, to leave space for me. That's been hard, but I don't apologize. I often say, "I really wish I could. That sounds like a great opportunity, but the timing is not right." Your Turn What was your biggest takeaway from this? If it resonated with you, reach out to me at [email protected] and let me know what spoke to you and where I can support you. Share this with another woman who gives her all to life or her business and needs a reminder to prioritize herself. I create these weekly blogs because I want you to have both success and satisfaction on your own terms. I take a stand for the "and", so you have Success AND satisfaction. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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