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There’s a friendship gap that doesn’t get talked about much, but a lot of high achievers feel it. Today, I want to share what that gap really is… and see if any part of it feels familiar to you.  This is the third in a series all about friendship. The first one is about the 50 friends before I’m 50 challenge that I’m committing to. The second one is about why high-achieving women struggle to maintain friendships. The next one will be about how to build and maintain meaningful friendships. The Gap Isn't About Not Having Friends It's deeper. It's about the depth of those friendships. There's something I don't think we talk enough about: we can have a really full life but still feel really disconnected. You can know a lot of people and still not feel deeply known, or still feel lonely. I've had moments where my calendar is full of events with lots of people, my business is moving forward, I have lots of clients, my family is good, and yet something feels a little bit off. It's not that I feel bad or like life is terrible. It's just like something's missing. When I really looked at it, it wasn't more people I needed. This is not about getting just 50 people to be my friend, because I can just name off 50 people. It's the deeper connections with the right people. I'm not saying there are wrong people, but the right friendships for me and that I'm the right friend for them, and that we have a deeper connection. Surface Level vs. Depth What I’ve noticed is this layer of surface-level friendships and acquaintances. There are a lot of people in my life. A lot of conversations, interactions, and little touchpoints throughout the day. It can look full from the outside. But it doesn’t always feel deep. And it’s not because they can’t go there, or I can’t go there. It’s just that we haven’t crossed that line into something deeper yet. The Circles of Closeness I was talking about this inside my Dynamic You program, and one of the women brought up something really interesting. She said, “I know a lot of people… but I don’t actually want to bring everyone in close.” Because she’s so warm and friendly, people tend to open up to her really quickly. And she finds herself thinking, “Whoa, whoa… we just met. This isn’t the level I’m trying to be at right now.” And it led to this conversation around circles of closeness. Not everyone belongs in the same circle. You might have a small handful of people who are truly close, your inner circle. And then, like rings on a tree, it expands outward. Still meaningful, still valuable… just different levels of depth and access. The High Achiever Experience A lot of times, high-achieving women are often the leaders, the ones running things, holding space, teaching, training, being there for others, coaching, advising, consulting, or just being a role model to others. They're often the successful ones in the room, and they just feel like they don't have a place where they can actually just exhale, to be fully themselves, to say what's really going on beneath the surface.  I realized that I've fallen into that. I've had proximity to a lot of people, but not always closeness. I was chatting with someone I consider a friend through my church and in the business world. Just sharing openly about this and how it was vulnerable for me to share it. She was like, "Yeah, I thought you knew a lot of people." I shared, "Yeah, I do, but I don't have a lot of close friends." She agreed that she's had trouble in certain parts of her life forming those stronger, deeper friendships. She's tried. She's put herself out there, she's reached out, and she just hasn't had the same response. There's a difference between being around people and feeling truly connected and able to be yourself, where you can let your wall down. There are the surface-level friendships, the acquaintances, and then the people who really know you. Often, high-achieving women have wide circles. They know so many people in so many areas of their life, but they don't always get to go deep. That's the gap. That is often a very big gap. It's not that they lack people or great people who could be fabulous, deeper friends. It's just they're lacking the depth. Real Life Examples of the Gap Here’s what it can actually look like in everyday life: “We should catch up soon.” And somehow… that turns into months. “Hey, how are things?” “Good, good… busy.” And that’s where it ends. Those quick check-ins happen in passing, in a hallway, at the mall, in a DM. The moment doesn’t really allow for depth, and if we’re honest, sometimes neither person is ready for the real answer anyway. And then there are the messages that never get sent. You think of someone… but don’t reach out. You mean to send a voice note… but don’t. You see their message… and don’t get back to it. Individually, they feel small. But over time, they add up… and keep the relationship sitting at the surface instead of moving deeper.  I was away recently, and both a neighbour and a friend sent me Happy Easter messages. I remember sitting by the pool, thinking through what I wanted to say back… and then I just never hit send. When I got home, I felt bad. I apologized and replied, but it made me realize how easily those small moments slip by. And the same thing happens on social media. Likes and comments are great. I’ve had moments where I think, “Wow, they care about me. They’re engaging with what I’m sharing.” And that does matter. But it doesn’t deepen the relationship. It maintains a connection. Those quick touchpoints, the scroll, the like, the short chat at a networking event… they can fill that space just enough to feel connected. But not enough to feel truly seen, supported, or known. When You Can't Let Your Guard Down There have been so many times I’ve been in programs where I wanted to be vulnerable. Where I needed to process something, or feel frustrated, or talk through not getting the result I was hoping for. But instead of being supported… I found myself being the one supporting everyone else. And I realized this isn’t new for me. Even when I was younger, if I shared something emotional, the other person would often share right back. I remember when my grandfather passed away when I was 16. I was in drama class that day, and during an activity, people were teasing each other. Someone made fun of me, and I started crying. People didn’t get it. They said, “It’s not a big deal.” And I said, “My grandfather just died this morning.” My teacher came to check on me… and then she started sharing about her own loss. She looked sad, and in that moment I thought, okay… I guess I can’t be the one who’s sad right now. So I shifted. And I’ve noticed that pattern shows up again and again. It’s part of why I’ve invested in support, such as counsellors, my naturopath, and my massage therapist. I’ve paid for spaces where I can actually be taken care of… because it hasn’t always felt easy to find that in friendships or even in group programs. My clients know I can be vulnerable. My friends see that side of me too. But having a space where I can fully let my guard down… that hasn’t always been easy to find. And maybe you can relate to that too. Surface Level Only Gets You So Far Surface-level connections are only going to get you so far. At some point, you start craving something more:
When you have that, you feel seen and heard, and then you can let your guard down. I hear many of my high-achieving clients say, "Other than you, I don't have anyone else I can lean on." I answer with, "Bring your mess to me so that you can be magnificent out there." Full Life, But Empty We don't want to have a full life but then feel empty. This is what success in life can look like without satisfaction. Friends are one area of life, which is why I'm focusing on this. I will take responsibility for what I've done or haven't done to gain deeper friendships and close the gap between surface-level friendships and deep friendships. Where in your life do you have people but not the depth of relationship that you're going for? Who do you actually feel safe being your full self with? Being Your Full Self Often, I'm the one holding space or leading. I have to be the responsible one. I have to be the good girl. I have to be the one who sets the bar high. But sometimes, like in school, I can be the straight-A student who gets all our work done, but then I can be the class clown a little bit. It was surprising when I went away for one of my friend’s 40th birthday to Hawaii for the week. I was able to be silly, goofy, and funny. At one point, she just stared at me. She'd been laughing quite a bit at what I was saying, and she looked at me and said, "Wow, Diane, you're really funny. I haven't seen that side of you." I felt sad that a friend of mine hasn't seen the funny side of me, because I'm having to be responsible, hold things together or be professional or whatever it may be." Knowing that you have a safe place to be your full self is so important. It's About Depth, Not Width Just remember:
When you have that, it changes everything. You know that at 2 AM you could call somebody to help you. You know if you needed people to do a meal train or to go have fun, you'd have a list of people you could reach out to. Depth only happens when we choose to create space for it. That is what I'm doing right now, and I guess that's what I've been choosing for the past six months, and will be for the next three and a half years and probably the rest of my life. What did you relate to? Comment below or email me: [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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High achievers don't always have many close friends. Some of it is our fault, and some of it is how society sees high achievers.  If this is something you can relate to, or you're just curious, keep reading. Today I'm talking about why high-achieving women struggle to maintain friendships. This is the second in a series about friendships. This came about because I started the 50 before 50 challenge, meaning I would love to have 50 close friends before I turn 50. I have three and a half years to make that happen, which is fantastic, because it takes time to make friends. Reasons why high-achieving women struggle to create and maintain friendships Reason 1: We’re Busy and Goal-Focused No surprise here. High achievers often think, “I should reach out,” but don’t. Work and life take over. We show up consistently for business goals, deadlines, and commitments. Friendships don’t always get the same structure or priority. If a friend truly needs us, we’re there. But the lighter, everyday connection? That’s where things slip. This isn’t just a stereotype. It comes up often in conversations with high-achieving women. Many feel it, even if it shows up differently. It’s a familiar pattern: “I should text her.” “I should plan something.” Then the calendar comes out: “When are we both free?” “Can I fit this in?” “Will our schedules ever align?” Between work, clients, kids, and everything else, it gets pushed to later. And later keeps moving. We’re wired to prioritize what feels urgent and measurable. Productivity wins. Friendships don’t come with clear metrics or immediate outcomes, so they’re easier to delay. It can even feel like we have to “earn” downtime. Work first, then maybe fun. So connection gets treated like a luxury instead of a need. One client realized this when the earliest dinner she could schedule with a friend was three months out. That was the signal that something needed to change. I can remember someone in an association that I was getting close to as a friend. We did some board stuff together that was really fun. Then she asked me to do some higher-level board stuff, and in her invite, she said, "Hey, this is going to be so great. We could hang out together more." I didn't want to do the board work, but I wanted to hang out with her more. So I replied, "Can I just say no and still hang out with you more?" She was like, "For sure, for sure." Reason 2: Identity Shifts As high-achieving women, we grow and change quickly. With each new level comes new roles, responsibilities, and expectations. Sometimes, the people who understand us best are in similar environments, like business. That’s often where new friendships form. But growth can also create distance. Not every friendship evolves in the same direction. Priorities shift, time gets tighter, and without intention, connection fades. It’s rarely dramatic. No big fallout. Just less reaching out, fewer shared moments, and eventually, silence. Even structured time together can be misleading. You might spend a lot of time with someone through work or volunteering, but once that shared context disappears, so does the connection. That’s when you realize the friendship depended more on proximity than intention. Reason 3: The “Later” Trap High achievers are always working toward the next thing. So we tell ourselves, “I’ll reach out after this launch,” or “when things calm down.” But things rarely calm down. The next goal replaces the last one, and the pace stays the same. Short busy seasons are normal. But when “later” keeps getting pushed, it quietly turns into never. It’s not a time issue as much as a pattern. The same drive that fuels success can also keep friendships on hold. Reason 4: We Don’t Want to Be a Burden This one is subtle but powerful. High achievers are used to being capable, reliable, and self-sufficient. So instead of reaching out, we think:
And we don’t reach out at all. We handle things on our own, even in moments when we’d normally lean on a friend. Not because we don’t value connection, but because we don’t want to feel like we’re adding to someone else’s load. How Society Screws Us Over This is almost the opposite of a lot of the things I've already said, or connected to the things I have already said. We're told:
We not only have to bear the emotional burden, but maybe a physical one as well when doing things. Society's Priority Setting for Us Society tells us: You need that bigger house, that better this, that bigger that, that next level. Our value comes from external things, based on our success, rather than from our satisfaction, which would be the friendships. They're not valued as highly, though everyone says, "You know, people are the most valuable.” When there's a fire, as long as everyone's okay, that's all that matters. With higher roles, there's an expectation that you're the first one there, the last one to leave, that you're giving up your evenings, your weekends, that you're always there at the helm. Could you really skip out on an extra meeting at night or somebody asking to meet with you through work and say instead, "I can't, I'm hanging out with my friend"? It's a little bit frowned upon. Even though people are like, "No, no, family is important, friends are important," saying no to something work-related is very frowned upon. The Assumption: "They Already Have a Lot of Friends" Since society says this person's successful, this person's high-achieving, this person knows a lot of people (I touched on this in the last post), they already have a lot of friends. Therefore:
Often, high achievers and leaders are the loneliest because we know many people, but we don't have many we can confide in or lean on.  Many times I've tried to lean on people, and the result was that they leaned right back on me in the same conversation, or they didn't know how to handle it when I became vulnerable, which meant I put the wall back up, pulled back, and acted okay again. Check on Your Strong Friends I've said this before: You have to check on your strong friends. You have to check in on the strong women, the successful women in your life, because you never know what kind of demons they're dealing with behind the scenes, or the loneliness & the pressures. They need not only friends to lean on and share the burden with, but also friends just to have fun, because that's one of the first categories that leaves a high achiever's life. When we look at the 10 areas, the top three to leave are:
We Need to Change I think as a society, we need to change how things are. Not just having friends in business, but having friends in all areas. As I said in my last blog, I have friends in different categories and different areas: my soccer friends, my church friends, my neighbourhood friends, and my childhood friends. Those relationships really enrich my life in different ways. The Truth Moment We don’t lose friendships by accident or lack them for no reason. The way our lives, businesses, and drives are structured often works against us.  We can push back against society, but high-achieving women, let's drop the walls a little bit to show a little bit more of the vulnerability, because we're really good at building systems and reaching our goals, except in this category. Start Making This a Priority I encourage you to make this a priority if you want to build more friendships or deepen the ones you already have. Prioritize them intentionally so they don't slowly disappear. Instead, they can build up. You can choose to design this part of your life. Be intentional about your friendships, how they look, and how they fit. When you care about them, you make space for them by giving your time, energy, and attention on purpose. A good girlfriend time, that's where you get the belly laughs and the care, love, and support. You can always use this as an opportunity to reach out to a friend, to share this with them, and maybe start a conversation. Until next time, stay dynamic!
I recently published on social media about wanting 50 friends before I turn 50, and I'll be honest, I almost didn't post it. It felt way too vulnerable.  In this blog, I'm sharing more about the 50 friends by 50 challenge, why I'm doing it (the vulnerable part), and what it's teaching me. The Pattern Started Early Let me start with when I was younger. In high school, I've always been the person who knows a lot of people and is known by a lot of people. I knew classmates, students from sports and clubs and the student council, plus my soccer and rugby friends. I wasn't around at lunchtime because I was always in a meeting or catching up on something for sports. I had a friend who kept me connected to the group, but I had a lot of acquaintances and teammates, not a ton of super-close friends. But this was the age of no cell phones and no texting. I'd sit at home waiting for the call to know where people were going, and I wouldn't get it. I'd often sit at home by myself. I'd get to the lunch table on Monday, and people would talk about a party that had happened. I'd sit there quietly because I wasn't there. People would say, "Why weren't you there, Diane?" Everyone thought everyone else was inviting me. I also had a boyfriend for many years, which took up some of my free time. The Pattern Continued as an Adult As an adult, moving out to BC, I started making new friends through Toastmasters, soccer, and rugby. I remember sitting after a Toastmasters event, talking about wanting to hike in North Vancouver, but feeling nervous to do it alone because of bears. Another lady around my age said, "Oh, I thought you have so many friends you can go with." I said, "No, I don't." She was shocked. She said, "I've been wanting to hang out with you, but I just thought you already had a lot of friends." It was a real eye-opener. I'm either putting that energy out there, or because I know a lot of people, people think I have tons of friends. I've always had a few super close friends growing up, but one now lives across Canada (because I moved), another in Australia, another across the world and another further away in BC. I have some friends, but again, as an adult, I know many people and many know me. When I was running the Dynamic Women community across eight locations, I met hundreds of women, but they weren't my close friends. The Birthday Party Dilemma When it came to my birthday, it felt weird saying, "Hey, do you want to come to my birthday party?" I felt very vulnerable asking. That idea of "Don't you have a ton of friends? You only know me a little bit. Why would you invite me?" I often had super small birthdays because I felt weird, bad, and uneasy asking people. One year, I didn't really do anything. The following year, I decided to do breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with my Dynamic Women community in different cities. Women came, and it was wonderful. I felt honoured they would want to come. Since I haven't really been running Dynamic Women® events, I've been thinking, "What's going to happen when I hit my 50th birthday?" I would love for my husband to throw a party for me, but would I have friends to invite? I've been to other people's 50th birthdays where they rented a place and had all these people there, and it wasn't just people, it was their friends. I thought, "Wow, that would be so cool if I could confidently invite 50 friends to that party." I'm 46 now, turning 47 in September. It's not like I haven't built closer friends here. I do have friends at church, soccer, business, in my neighbourhood, and parents of my kids' friends. I just want them to be closer friends. How I Learned to Be a Better Friend One lady I met at Dynamic Women® started calling me on Mondays. We'd chat, get closer, and she kept calling every week. I felt so special that she called me.  A lot of times, when people invite me, call me, message me, or say they're happy to see me, I feel so good. I feel like I've missed out on that kind of feeling, which is very vulnerable and almost embarrassing to admit. I'm at that stage of life where I've been thinking a lot about friendships and about having more super-close girlfriend friendships. I know people who have had the same group of friends for years, and they all still hang out because they all live near each other. The Realization I've built businesses, been married for 16 years, and have kids who are 11 and 14 now. My life is full, just like I'm sure yours is.  Over time, I started to notice: I've been intentional about growing my business, but not nearly as intentional about growing my friendships. That friend who became close by calling me every week taught me something. You can intentionally build closer friendships, not just be friends with people by default or hope they get closer. I don't want to get to 50 and feel like I've let potential good friendships drift or never happen. I want to be surrounded by people at my 50th, not because I want to say, "Look at how many people care about me," but because I want to say, "Look at how many people are important to me, and I'm important to them." The Surprising Support I remember someone I'd only met twice found out my son had broken his femur at two and a half years old, and she set up a meal train. I was so surprised. She asked, "Who should I invite to partake?" I said, "I don't know." That seems like something you'd do for a friend, someone you know well. When I had my babies here and considered a baby shower, I thought, "Who do I invite? I don't even know who I would invite." It's a weird feeling. The 50 friends by 50 is not for the enjoyment of that party. It's really about the process of getting there and having really rich relationships in my life. The Vulnerable Post When I did the post, I thought, "Can I really let this go out there? I should delete it. I don't want it to be public knowledge that I don't have a ton of close friends." Then the response was amazing. Other people said, "I feel this too. I want that for myself." Some were younger, some older. They wanted to do it as well. It made me realize how common this is. People are always longing for a sense of belonging. The most emotional thing was ladies commenting, "I want to be there" (claiming a spot at the party), and people closer to me saying, "Count me in your 50." I had people I don't know well wanting to connect for coffee to get closer. That was really encouraging and exciting. The Categories When I came up with this challenge, I went to the notes section on my phone and started listing groups of people:
I wrote down the names of people I'm already close to and the names of people I'm intentionally building friendships with. Surprisingly, the list was longer than I expected. What I'm Learning Friendships don't maintain themselves. Just because you've known someone for a long time doesn't mean they're in your inner circle. It takes intention and time. People are more open to connecting than we think. That's really cool. I've been setting up small, intimate business events that have the potential to build friendships with women who can inspire and challenge me, and vice versa, where we can do life and business together (which is part of why I created Dynamic Women® in the first place). I've been messaging people: "Hey, do you want to get together for coffee? Do you want to go for a walk?" I have 3.5 years to make this work. What's Coming Next In my next blogs, I'll cover:
I'll keep you posted on how the 50 friends by 50 goes. It's teaching me a lot and shifting a lot for me. I've been reaching out to people I haven't talked to in a while, even just to say, "Hey, I was thinking about you." Every time I do it, I think, "Why didn't I do this sooner?" This isn't about the party with 50 friends. It's about the process and the joy that come with strong friendships and not leaving connection to chance. Your Turn That wasn't as vulnerable as I expected (I didn't cry, which is cool), but it is still hard for me to share. If you can relate, let me know. Send me a message at [email protected]. Share this with a friend or potential friend. Maybe this will start a conversation about wanting to hang out more and do more things together. Until next time, stay dynamic!
If you've ever felt that pull toward something that doesn't make sense on paper, then you’ll want to read on as I share why I said yes to a one-woman show and why you don't need permission to do whatever is calling you.  What Is This One-Woman Show? I have decided to write, produce, and star in a one-woman show. I'll let someone else direct me and serve as the stage manager, and I'll handle the other pieces. I have zero theatre background, and I'm doing it anyway. Maybe there are things in your life that are calling you, kind of intriguing you, pulling you forward, or getting you excited about something. The Problem: Most People Ignore It They don't listen to the calling or the spark, however you label it. They push it down. But there's a feeling that just keeps coming up. You think about it randomly, and it doesn't go away. Sometimes, eventually, someone else does it, and then you see them, and you're so mad that they're doing it. What is this something that could be pulling you forward?
For me, doing this one-woman show is what keeps calling me. Over the past few years, I've been really interested in glass blowing. While I haven't gotten out to do it yet (I've paid for a session, I haven't done it), I have watched the Netflix Series Blown Away, been to the Chihuly Glass and Garden Gallery in Seattle, and the opening of their glass-blowing festival. There are other areas where I get this spark, this urge, this pull, and I say yes to it. Not always immediately, but eventually, I do. The feeling is not random. It's something worth paying attention to. Why We Don't Say Yes Maybe you're wondering why you haven't moved forward. The thing is, a lot of times people overthink it. Common thoughts:
Rather than looking for reasons to do it, we often look for reasons not to. My hope for you is that you can listen to this pull, give it time and space, and eventually say yes to it. I'm saying yes even though I have no theatre background, and it's not what people are expecting from me. Instead of trusting the call, you start to build that case against it: "I can't do it for all of these reasons." But the thing is, overthinking is often what stops us from doing the things that would expand us. At some point, you didn't know how to do the job you're currently doing or the business you're currently running, but you said yes. At one point, you allowed yourself to be the student, to be new at it, to just figure it out. It's funny how we get older, and we say,
We put ourselves into a box. The only thing that's needed to know is that you want to do it. The Uncomfortable Part for High Achievers We're looking to do things for the three R's:
If you're not going to get those three R's (or at least two of them), you're going to say, "I don't want to do it." But this is different:
I want to give you permission to do that. Why Am I Doing This One-Woman Show? There was something about doing this one-woman show that kept calling me, so I said yes. It wasn't because it made sense. It's much easier for me to write a keynote as a professional speaker because I've already done it. I already know what it entails. I have zero knowledge of how to write a play script. I'm not doing it because it's strategic. In theatre, it's a long game. Shows are booked one to two years out. I'm not doing this because it's a great financial move. Actually, it's a financial expense. I need to pay for:
So then why? Why would I do it? It doesn't seem like there's any rational reason, except that I'm doing it because I want to. Wanting to do something is enough reason to explore it. Stop blocking yourself! Other Things I've Said Yes To:
If I'd said no to those things, if I'd said no to writing my first book, if I'd said no to putting together my first collaborative book and my first summit, what would I have missed out on? Do you see where I'm going here? A lot of great things have happened because I've had a feeling, a pull, a spark that I was excited about doing something. That energy, when followed, that resonance, can bring amazing results. What Happens When You Say Yes  1. You Expand Who You Are There were many times when I was able to grow and learn more. Because I had to figure things out, I gained many more skills and talents. You're going to start to see new parts of yourself, and others will as well. Some people said to me, "Wow, I didn't know you were funny." Right? Because a lot of the content I put out there is very practical, or my stories, or it's vulnerable, or it's very level-headed. So you don't get to see that funny side. But that came out of my stand-up, and that's going to come out more in my one-woman show. 2. You Build Confidence in a Different Way Even though you don't feel super confident about these new things, you're going to be able to pull in some talents and skills you already have, and build your confidence in a different way. I've already been on stage. I've already spoken to an audience. I've already put on shows, keynotes, workshops, and events. I've already filled the room in my own way. But theatre is very different, and so this is me stretching and growing in a different way. 3. You Learn Things You Never Would Have Learned Otherwise You get to learn new things that you wouldn’t have had the chance to know. For example, I had to Google what a stage manager does. I'm getting paired up with a dramaturge. I didn't even know what that person did, so I had to Google it. I'm doing a lot of searching for answers, and it's quite interesting. I'm in the growth stage of it. 4. You Become Someone You Wouldn't Have Become You’ll meet more people because of this. More doors and opportunities will open for you. Not to say that you need to go write your own show, but by saying yes to your own opportunity or the thing that's calling you, that would be enough to open new doors. 5. You Model for Others
All of this comes simply from saying yes to something that calls you forward. You Don't Need to Know Where It All Leads I started Dynamic Women® as a single event and planned to have one group. People kept coming and saying, "I want you to start another group in my city. Can I give you a location?" Even though you want to be clear about the outcome when you start, you don't need to know the outcome to get started. Instead, we ask:
We get into the weeds, put obstacles in our path, and block ourselves. But the doors, the opportunities, and the different things start to show themselves as you say yes and get going. Not everything you do needs to become a business, a product, a success story. You just need to try it. It doesn't have to be a strategic move. It doesn't need to be a long-term commitment. Just go for it! I've been very lucky that my desire for different things brought success. Dynamic Women® was probably a decade of success. From doing stand-up, I didn't become a paid comic. The most I got paid for a show was $22 (basically my gas money to get there). While I'm not going to be a comic, I love bringing humour into my keynotes and humour into my workshops. But sometimes it's just about the expression of it. I still had tons of fun. It's the growth piece. It's an exploration of what else is possible. You're allowed to start something and to follow something without even knowing what the outcome would be. What's Calling You?
 I encourage you to stop overthinking it. Just take one small step towards it. One small step doesn't have to be major. For me, with stand-up, yes, my first step was to sign up for a class. But it could just be watching a stand-up comedy show. That might be the first small step. What would saying yes, in your case, be? What would that first small step be? If something keeps calling you, just saying yes is way more powerful than overthinking it. You Don't Need Permission
People ask me, "Why are you doing this one-woman show?" I don't know, because I want to. "What was the main reason for it?" I don't know. I just felt a desire. You don't need a reason that makes sense for everyone else. You just need enough to say yes for you. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is to just say yes to something that keeps calling you. Saying yes is enough to get started. Don't Let It Sit There I'm really curious about what you feel is calling you. I don't want it to sit there. I've talked with someone whose wife is a nurse, and she said she had the privilege of sitting with many people in their final days, and they would talk about all the cool things they wanted to do but never did. I would hate for that to be the case with you. If you're thinking, "Wow, I do have something, Diane. I do have a great idea. I do have something that's been calling me, and I want more support to make this happen," then reach out: [email protected]. I'd be happy to coach you through that. P.S. I have an upcoming event called The Wealth Shift. It’s for high-achieving women who are ready to stop working harder for every dollar and start building a sustainable, supported income. There are several upcoming dates this April for in-person and online. Save your spot here. Until next time, say yes and stay dynamic!
Most relationships just happen by default, and we assume they'll work out. But relationships shape our energy, our happiness, and our growth. If you want to design your relationships intentionally, keep reading.  Most Relationships Are Built by Default Think of the people in your life:
We just become friends with the people around us. This came up with one of my clients recently. She's been with a friend for over 18 years, and they continue the friendship simply because it's always been there. Over time, she's realized this relationship has changed. My client is levelling up who she is as a person, but the friend has stayed in the same place with some negative habits. You don't have to stay in the same friendships. I also don't think you need to just cut people out because it's not the type of friendship you want. There is an opportunity to design relationships; otherwise, they will stay the same. We never pause to rethink them or design what is ideal for that friendship. In business relationships, you talk things through about who's going to do what roles. You have roles and responsibilities, KPIs (key performance indicators) on those roles, and everyone knows what they're supposed to be doing. But in friendships, especially, it's not always clear-cut. Also, in parenting, it's not always clear-cut how you show up as parents, as partners in the marriage, and with your children. Designing relationships doesn't mean controlling the other person. It doesn't mean that saying how you want things to be means they'll be that way. It's just how can you intentionally choose the right type of relationship and grow and evolve the ones you currently have? This comes from my coaching work around designing the alliance, designing how the coach and client are going to work together, and we can take that and move that professionally into every area of life. What Can You Design? Here are things really in your control: 1. The Type of Connection You Want Do you want them to be really close to you, or further out? If we look at the circles of closeness and how they are with you: Is it deep or shallow friendship? Is it a best friend, a close friend, or just an acquaintance?  2. The Energy You Bring Is there lots of energy or not so much energy in the friendship? Is it a one-on-one type of energy? Is it group energy? 3. The Time You Invest Is this a friend you're going to make a habit of calling, spending weekends with, sometimes even a weekend away? Maybe you go for coffee or walks, hang out. How much time are you going to give to the friendship? 4. The Boundaries You Set Is your boundary around who's making all the plans? Is the boundary around how much time you're going to have together, or what you do together? 5. Expectations Around How You Communicate Maybe you want quick texts because you're both really busy. Or in another friendship, maybe you don't want it to be just texts. You want to be able to get on the phone and actually talk with them. The Five People You Spend the Most Time With Jim Rohn says you are the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with. If you look at the five people you spend a lot of time with, those relationships and those people are forming you and who you are. After knowing you become who you spend time with, you will probably want to start:
We have different seasons of life. Maybe at some points you have to bring your kids or your pet. Maybe other times you need to meet earlier in the day rather than later, or it has to be just a phone call rather than actually meeting. Redesigning a Friendship I have a friend who was in a different stage of life. I asked her, "If we were to redesign our friendship, what would you want it to be like?" She said, "Well, I feel like I'm always the one calling you and I'm always the one inviting you out." I said, "You're right, and I can see how that would be hurtful or that you'd want to be invited out." The reality was I had two children under four at the time, and she had a nine-to-five job, no children, no partner. I had a husband, two kids under four, and I was working my business for multiple hours a day because I was caring for the children. I said to her, "Yeah, I'm really sorry for that, but I'm just in a stage of my life right now where that's all I can do. If you call me and ask, I'm almost always gonna say yes. I'm just in a period right now where I can't always be thinking, organizing, and making my way out to see you. It's just the season I'm in."  She totally understood that, but I made more of an effort to reach out and care for her. Healthy relationships don't happen by accident. They rarely do. Instead, it's about seeking them out and shaping them into what we want them to be. Different Relationships Need Different Designs Not every relationship plays the same role in your life:
A Family Example A client of mine was taking her daughter's dog almost every weekend. She had just retired, and it seemed her free time was taken up by dog-sitting. She had to say no to plans with her own friends because she had her daughter's dog. She realized her daughter only called her when she needed help with something. The mom was feeling like, "You don't care about our relationship. You don't care about me, because I'm just here to do things for you." Once she shared her feelings with her daughter, she also shared, "You know, I'd love to be able to do things with you and be called to be someone that you confide in or can cheer you on, rather than someone who can do something for you." That relationship improved once she set that expectation. There was a bit of push and shove in the beginning. The daughter was not happy because she had to find another dog sitter. But that really deepened their friendship as mother and daughter, because the mother wasn't resentful of having to take care of the dog, and the daughter now benefited from having the mom in this different role. One design does not fit every person or every relationship. You need to think about how that works for you. Small Ways to Start Designing Relationships 1. Be Intentional About Who You Spend Time With Look at your schedule. Are your friends on there? Are your important relationships on there? Your spouse, your parents, siblings, children are they on there? Schedule the connection instead of just assuming it will happen. I reached out to three women from my church and said, "You know, I really would like for us to get together again." We used to be in a women's Bible study group, but for different reasons, we've been pulled out of that. We said, "Yeah, let's get together once a month, the four of us to have that friendship time." 2. Express Appreciation More Often Share how you feel and how you enjoyed your time together. Often, when I am with friends or after we meet, I would say, "Wow, it was so great to be together. Thank you so much. I really enjoyed this. Let's do it again." Then scheduled the next time. 3. Communicate Your Expectations Clearly I recently had a friend who is now living across the world. She said to me, "Hey, I want to connect with you more." I said, "Yeah, I've been trying to schedule a Zoom with you." She said, "Well, with the time difference, it's so hard. If we could just talk more by messages back and forth, I'd love to hear your voice." She was very clear about how she wanted to communicate with each other. 4. Set Boundaries That Protect the Relationships You do not want to be resentful of the other person or feel like you're being taken advantage of. With a friend or a relationship you want to expand and get better:
Really, small intentions can strengthen relationships. It can be other things, like little texts that you're thinking of them. Every Friday morning, a friend's husband sends a quote and a little message to all his friends, and then spends the next three or four hours replying to what they send back. That's how he is intentionally evolving those relationships and caring for those friends. Relationships Naturally Evolve Sadly or excitingly, relationships do naturally evolve. People grow, and life changes. I had a best friend at my work. We were working together on a volunteer opportunity. So we spent quite a bit of time together, and our friendship grew a lot. She was even my maid of honour at my wedding. Over time, I got married, had kids, and she was always so supportive, always there, such a great friend. She was living downtown and enjoying the nightlife with friends, and I couldn't go. But we still made it a point to be friends in each other's lives, and the relationship has continued. Some relationships deepen, some shift, and some naturally fade. But we've both been really adamant that we do not want this friendship to die. When she moved away, we started a weekly morning call as she drove to work, just to check in and chat. While we are at different stages of our lives (she's working a job, I have a business; she has a partner, I have a husband; I have two kids, and previously she had dogs), this friendship really matters. Now that the driving thing doesn't happen for her (she's moved again), we are making a point of getting together when she's in town for dinners, going to the spa together, and even having a girls' getaway every once in a while. While that friendship has changed over time, it's still important to me. Sometimes we have to realize that a relationship has served its purpose in a certain season, or we need to design relationships so they can evolve instead. My 50 Before 50 Challenge I hope this has you thinking about how you can now put some time and energy into evolving friendships. I've created this kind of funny goal for myself. I feel almost embarrassed sharing it, but I'm 46 (I'll be turning 47 in September), and my goal for my 50th birthday is to be able to invite 50 good friends. So my 50 before 50 challenge has started, where I am intentionally building relationships with 50 different people. Final Thoughts My hope for you is that you have a really strong group of people around you. When you think of you're the average or the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with, those are solid people that you are intentionally choosing in your life and designing that relationship to be ideal. Just like we design our goals, our business, and our plans, we can also design the relationships in our lives that support us, who we want to be and how we want to live. Maybe it's time to send this to a friend of yours with whom you'd like to redesign the friendship. It doesn't mean there's a problem and you need to redesign. It is an opportunity. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you ever tried to create a work-life balance and felt like you were constantly failing? You're not alone. Work-life balance is a myth, and it comes down to how you're measuring it. Back in 2010, I was unhappy with my work. I'd checked so many boxes, but felt unsatisfied and unhappy. In this blog, we’ll look at the problem with work-life balance, the tools & what I learned that really changed the game for me and can do the same for you.  The Problem with Work-Life Balance The traditional idea: we've got work on one side, we've got life on the other. But the problem is that life is much more complex than just two categories. Actually, life is everything, and work is just one of the 10 areas. This was first brought to my attention in 2010, when I started working with a coach. I was shown the Wheel of Life and could see clearly the different areas of life (eight in her wheel). Since then, I go through it at least every quarter (10 areas in mine), and I have learned to use this professional coaching tool with my clients in our first session, and at the start of all my programs. Often, we try to achieve balance. But when work is just one of the 10 areas, we'll never balance it. The Equal Division Trap When I work with clients, I often see them trying to divide their time equally. We have 24 hours in a day: eight hours at work or in our business, eight hours sleeping, and the other eight hours are spent getting to work, having dinner, having lunch, wrapping up the day, maybe doing some hobbies and time with others. I remember working with one client who felt so guilty when she needed to work more. She was saying, "I don't have work-life balance." But when there's something happening in the business, like when you're launching something, preparing for a talk, building something new, or you just gained a bunch of clients at one time, you feel like, "I'm not balancing my work and my life." The realization for her was that the problem wasn't the number of hours worked. The problem was that other areas of her life were not getting her energy and attention. Her marriage wasn't, her kids weren't, and her ability to have fun wasn't. What I often see in business owners is that balance isn't about equal hours between work and life. It's about feeling fully satisfied in all areas. The first areas that will go when you're busy and not balancing things out are fun and recreation, and your health. I often see people not taking time off or working through their time off (weekends, evenings), not seeing friends, not enjoying hobbies or anything else that would bring them fun in that area. Life Has More Than Two Categories There are 10 areas of my Wheel of Life:
I split Personal Development into two areas because people who are spiritual or religious needed a place for that area. I'm a Christian and putting it in the Personal Development area wasn't enough. I also split Friends and Family because people would say, "My family life is good, but my friends aren't," or "My friends are good, but my family isn't." Two different numbers, so I split that area. Success vs. Satisfaction What I realized was that I was measuring life according to my success, not my satisfaction.  We measure our lives according to success most of the time:
It's like this checklist of to-dos. Instead, we need to measure life according to satisfaction. I was saying, "Well, because my success level is very high, I therefore should be happy. But why am I not?" I didn't dare talk to people about it because I thought, "I'm so privileged, I'm so successful. How dare I share that I'm unhappy?" But the truth is, when you measure your life by your own satisfaction, you start to see where the gaps are and how to be happier more easily. So I started asking myself: “How am I doing in all areas of life?” Not based on success, but based on satisfaction. It's really important for balance to look at the whole picture, not just work and life, because you will never, ever be balanced with just two. Balance Changes with Seasons Life moves in seasons. Priorities shift naturally. Earlier on, before kids, my time was my own. My marriage could take a higher priority. My business could. My health could too. As soon as I had kids, so much of my time was allotted to them. Seasons might include:
I can remember many times in my life where things felt off. It's not that anything was technically wrong (success was good), but now I know that if I feel off, it's probably because one or two areas of my life have been neglected. When I do this activity with my clients, and we go through the Wheel of Life, it's such a bird's-eye view. I always have my clients go through it every quarter, or anytime they feel off, because it tells you very quickly where your satisfaction is lacking and which areas have been neglected. When you look at it, rather than going "Oh, my success sucks in these areas," it's more like "Oh, hey, I'm not as satisfied in those areas. This probably means these certain neglected areas need some more of my attention." The reality is that some areas just can't be made better or more successful; maybe there's strife in the family, or you want a different house, and you're saving up for the next one, but you can still be satisfied with your progress. The key thing is: balance is dynamic. It's constantly shifting and changing. It's not fixed. If we try to maintain how things used to be, while other areas now have higher demands, it could be challenging. Imagine I still tried to do the exact same in my marriage, business, house, health, fun, and finances pre-kids, and then do the exact same post-kids. It wouldn't work. There are just not enough hours in the day. Adjusting the Dials Rather than balancing on a scale between this and that, it's more like dials on a soundboard.  When things are rough in one area, or it's a busy season for a client of mine, I'll say, "Okay, we're going to go into maintenance mode. Where do we need to adjust the dials?"
Some go up, some come down. Some need more attention, and some can just be where they are. If that’s the case, you can also tell your friends, "Hey, I'm going into a heavy season. I won't see you as much, but I care about you, and we'll just have to have shorter chats or get togethers." Because it's not fixed, our balance in life gives us that opportunity to just adjust the dials when needed. We all have a finite amount of energy, time, and resources. A Simple Balance Check-In Ask yourself:
Maybe areas are being neglected, but it doesn't matter, and you don't care because you're still happy and satisfied in those areas. But once you know: "Oh yeah, my health's been neglected, and I really need to get more sleep or move my body," or "I haven't had fun forever, and that's really a downer. I'm working way too much." You can then come up with a solution. For example, I can call on a friend and go out. I can get out the watercolour paints and have a bit of fun. I can go for a walk, spend time reflecting, do something creative, or pick up a new hobby. Even small adjustments can help you create some balance. The Truth About Balance While work-life balance is a myth, it is possible to create more dynamic balance in your life. Remember:
Balance isn't about dividing your time equally between work, life, and sleep. It's about making sure the important areas of your life still have space to exist, so that you can feel balanced and satisfied. If this is making you think, "Wow, I wish I could go through the Wheel of Life with Diane," then reach out to me: [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
There was a season where I wore responsiveness like a badge of honour. Quick replies, late-night emails, and immediate voice notes. I fixed things before I was even asked twice. I genuinely believed that high accessibility for my clients and community members meant I was a strong leader. It didn't.  If you can relate, then you’ll benefit from seeing how constant availability weakens leadership. I want to reframe this idea that fast response equals high value:
I'm going to share how I failed at this miserably, how I changed, and how you can too. How Constant Availability Weakens Leadership 1. It Trains Urgency People feel like they can reach out to you and make things urgent to you. For example, I had a member of my Dynamic Women community message me on Facebook (which I consider more of a personal platform) and ask about the upcoming date for our event. This is something that goes out in the emails. It's on the website. There are many places where she could find this. Rather than giving her the quick answer ("It's on this date for your area," which also meant I needed to check which area she was in), I reminded her of where she could find that information. While I could have done it quickly, it would still have taken time and energy from me. I didn't want it to be that me giving her the information, which she felt was urgent, but was really non-urgent, and she could have figured it out herself. When we respond, we're training people to message us about non-urgent matters because we'll reply quickly. This happens probably in your family as well. Have you ever had someone in the kitchen saying, "Hey, do we have sandwich meat? Do we have enough milk for the week?" They could easily open the fridge door and look. "Do we have any apples?" They could easily look in the fruit bowl. But when we respond (because if you're anything like me, you have a mental note of everything in your fridge, how many you have, when it expires, and how many more you need), it doesn't mean you have to be the only one carrying that mental load. It's training others that they can expect a same-hour turnaround of answering a question. Maybe a team member would stop problem-solving because they know you'll answer their question for them. People will rise or shrink based on the level of access you provide them. When you respond instantly, you train others not to think first. We want to train people not only how to help themselves but also how to treat our time. 2. It Erodes Boundaries When I have my phone out during family time, dinner, at the park, whatever it may be, it means I'm not mentally present. If others can text or call me during family time or maybe outside of work hours, then it means I'm not necessarily fully at work or fully with my family. I'm split between the two, and frankly, not doing well at either one.  It's eroding those boundaries of when it's your time and others' time. If my family is messaging me during the day with trivial matters when I'm at work, that pulls me away from my focus. That means I'm distracted, and I lose that momentum. Now, while at work and with my family, my phone is always on silent. 3. It Encourages Dependency (Erodes Independence) Remember the story of the woman who asked me when the date was? Another time she messaged me and said, "Well, can you just sign me up?" While that could have taken me a couple of minutes, I probably had 300-400 people coming to eight events each month. Imagine if I did that for even 10%, that would be three hours of my time. So I politely responded that she knows where the sign-up is and can do it herself. She said, "Oh, I know I can do it. I just thought it would be faster for you to do it." It made me laugh, and I joked with her about it later, but I realized I had to take responsibility for it. How I treated it at the beginning, with just one location rather than eight, was that I could give that level of service and sign people up. But she continued to want me to do them, so she definitely became dependent on me to do it for her. It's just like having a team member or a virtual assistant who might be waiting for your answer on small decisions rather than just figuring them out themselves, or a client asking you questions they could easily figure out themselves. If you are the fastest solution in the room or in someone's mind, then they’re not going to build their decision-making muscle. I've done it with my business, but with my family, it’s definitely something I'm striving to do now. If you can do this as a strong leader, you will start building a smart, skilled team. A reminder: Being available doesn't mean you're providing good leadership. 4. It Brings and Attracts Chaos People with urgent personalities and who are dependent on others will be drawn to you and attach to you because you're a very accessible leader. These disorganized people will start relying heavily on you because you're a responsive, responsible leader. I realized that because I was taking messages on Facebook, email, text, everywhere, I was unintentionally building a culture of urgency, chaos, and dependency. Now, by delaying how quickly I respond, moving it from one platform to another, reminding them that they know, or giving them the power to do it themselves, I have started to regain that space and build a team and clients who are more independent. Intentional Unavailability I recently wrote about intentional subtraction in another blog post. This new one is intentional unavailability, being intentionally unavailable to others. What It Doesn't Look Like:
It is structure. I can remember my marketing and graphic designer telling me, after some time of being available at any time and available last minute: "I am going to be available to work on things between Monday to Thursday 9-5pm, and Thursday at 12 PM will be the last time I'm accepting any kind of design work." That gave her Friday to finish off. She was very clear about that. She would not respond after hours. She would not work after hours. She wouldn't work on the weekend. If I needed something done, I had deadlines. If I get it done sooner, give it to her sooner, then she could get it done sooner. There would be no chaos or urgency, and it would give her time and freedom during her time off. What This Looks Like in Practice for You 1. Delay Responses, Even When You Could Respond Immediately You might see a message come in, but if you're in the middle of something (and even if you're not), it's okay to delay response. Obviously, if something's urgent, you can reply right away. 2. No Same-Day Access Unless It's Scheduled If a client reaches out with a question and that's not part of their package for urgent or emergency calls, you answer whenever it fits you. You can have blocks of time in your schedule when you go and answer emails. 3. Protect Your Thinking Blocks Your deep work blocks, like your writing blocks, are protected with no calls, no texts, and no emails, so you can get your stuff done. (When I edit these blogs, I have to go into focus mode.)  4. Real Vacations Where You're Actually Offline This is something I do my very best to do. When I was in Kenya, I was definitely offline because we had no guarantee of Wi-Fi access or data, and I didn't bring my computer with me. The way I do it now is that everyone knows they can email me or WhatsApp me for quick things. You may say, "Well, WhatsApp gives people immediate access to you," and I'm okay with that because when I get into email, I'm doing more professional, longer-form responses. WhatsApp, I can either do a quick voicemail or keep things really casual, which has worked for me. When I am away, I’m only doing last-minute approvals from my team, and I like to keep the WhatsApp or email line open in case clients need me, because things can arise. My Virtual Assistant Made Easy clients may need something more urgently, and I want to be available for my team of VAs. At this point, I'm okay with that. It didn't wreck my two-week vacation in Mexico or my time in Vegas at a mastermind. Until I have someone in that higher-level management role, that's the way it's going to be. 5. Just Say When You'll Respond "Thank you for your message. I'll respond tomorrow" or "I'll respond Friday," without over-explaining. You don't have to say why. You don't have to apologize. This could even be an automatic reply that says all emails received during the day will be answered between 9 - 10 am, or 4 - 5 pm, or whatever it may be. 6. Don't Take Messages on Personal Platforms If you get someone who messages you on Facebook or on a platform you don't want to be messaging on, then move it over to email and say, "Hey, I am replying here. Let's keep it to email." It's really hard when you just want to go and play on Facebook, and you have work messages in there. It's also really hard if you have things coming in from everywhere like on your project management platform (ex. Slack, Asana, Trello), your social platforms (ex. Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn) then WhatsApp, and your email. What Happens When You Set Boundaries There have been times when I haven't replied right away, and it’s worked out well. For example, a client who asked about a template we had previously shared ended up looking for it herself. Or with questions I've already answered, they went and found the information in a previous email. By the time I got around to answering it, they had already figured it out. It wasn't an issue anymore. By having this boundary of moving that Facebook message to email or not replying after hours means that they will respect you more. The times I have done this, and the time that the graphic designer did that, I repied telling her I was happy for her setting boundaries on her work time. I've had many people comment to me as well:
What This Creates in Others When you make yourself less available: 1. Self-leadership: They're going to start leading themselves. 2. Increased respect: Between you and them. 3. More intentional conversations: Rather than things they can figure out themselves. 4. More sustainable long term: If you're constantly in that urgency, chaos, replying quickly, being available on all the platforms, being split between work and life all the time, that's just not sustainable. I figured that when I stopped taking work calls at night, making myself available, and replying quickly, nothing would burn down. If anything, my leadership just strengthened. The Power of Being Unavailable I remember meeting a CEO and asking him how he managed to be at the 3-day event while running such a big company. He said it's because of their SOP (Standard Operating Procedure). Typically, someone would ask him, someone higher-up or someone else at work, which now means two- three people are involved in answering. The SOP he created was: Step 1: If you don't know something, go into the database and look at all the SOPs to see if there is an answer, and/or check the frequently asked questions. Step 2: If there is no answer, ask a colleague or co-worker, and check for an SOP/FAQ for it that you just can't find (maybe it was labelled something different). Step 3: If that's the case, if they can't find anything, the third step is to walk into the boss's office give him your phone, and ask the question. The boss is recording you on your phone while they give the answer. Now it's your responsibility to create that as either an SOP or a frequently asked question (FAQ). That's how he was able to be away. He taught people the right way to find information. I’m going to share with you five benefits of this approach: 1. SOP for Answers: This creates a Standard Operating Procedure for finding answers. 2. Helps people find information themselves: Since they are not coming to you or somebody else on the team, it saves money and time because everyone is focusing on their own work and not answering questions. 3. Changes their state and your state as well: It puts them into more of a calm state because rather than "I need to know this information," they're going to go and figure it out themselves. 4. Creates independence: They become independent thinkers and are independent in figuring things out, which also boosts confidence. 5. Empowers them: Builds their confidence to do their role and self-efficacy, so they can figure things out themselves and be resilient. I hope those are some reasons why you'd probably want to start making yourself less available to others. Those are things that will strengthen your leadership rather than weaken it. What Are You Modelling? I want you to think about, what you are modelling for other women.
If you're modelling burnout, hyper-responsiveness, overextending yourself or constantly proving yourself and dropping your boundaries, they are going to see that as normal, and we don't want that. If you're modelling the boundaries, the calmness, the spaciousness, that more regulated leadership, that independence, you're going to start to shift the culture to be able to go into that space too. Your boundaries and balance teach more than your strategy or your expertise ever will. Final Thoughts Leadership doesn't require immediate responses or immediate performance (well, unless you're the head of a fire team, a police officer, or an ER doctor). But no matter what, it requires some strategic presence. You model it first, and those who work for you, with you, or your clients will start to model it themselves. If you have any ideas or questions you'd like me to cover, please reach out to me at [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
We're not meant to be “on” all the time.  Have you ever been praised for being “on”, but what if that's the very thing that's draining your power, your energy, and your happiness? What "Being On" Looks Like Being “on” looks like:
If you've ever had to present or coach someone or be in a meeting when you felt tired, sick or drained, but you still had to do it, then that's the moment you feel on. Maybe some of the work you're doing, if you're in the service industry, is emotional labor because you're having to put on a smile, be kind, and helpful to people when maybe you don't feel like it, or potentially they don't deserve it. My Story: My Nervous System Needed Help I've realized my nervous system needs help. I've had to be “on” for so long. Yes, I've made changes. I have two virtual assistants. I don't schedule myself as much. I've set boundaries. But hitting a certain age, being in perimenopause, and all the things that happened over the past five years? My nervous system has taken a real hit. I didn't realize that until I went to my physio because I'd hurt my calf at soccer (yes, I still play soccer, though right now I'm not). In talking with her, I realized that my nervous system needs a little bit of a reboot. In order for me to sustain the business, sustain myself, and be a great leader, it's important that I take the time to be able to do that. Our bodies weren't designed for constant performance, constantly being “on”. Neither was your leadership. Neither is that going to be the best way to be your top self and happy at the same time. The Physical Impact When you're in that constant output, your nervous system can get stuck in fight or flight. It could be mild. It could be severe. For me, it was little things like:
Maybe you've had that too. Some of these things could be stress-induced from the work you're doing, from the high level of leadership that you're in, or maybe the season that you're in as a woman. What Happens When Constant Output Continues When that constant output is happening:
 You know this because maybe you're barking back at people, maybe you're putting out a lot of fires, and things feel really urgent. I spoke in a recent post about how you're capable. You're capable, but that doesn't mean you need to do everything yourself. But it's also true that you could be capable and still be dysregulated. Feminine Rhythms vs. Linear Hustle Women are cyclical. We have our cycles. Nature has cycles and seasons as well. This is also referring back to a previous post I did: What season are you in? Are you in a momentum season or a maintenance season? The same thing should be true around these seasons, around our leadership energy. This should also be cyclical. We shouldn't have to be “on” at this high level all the time, all year. I coach a lot of women who say, "I could do this high level output for a little while, but then it just became the norm." If we have that constant output, constantly having to be “on” and produce and perform, it's going to start ignoring our own biology, ignoring our intuition and who we are meant to be. We're not meant to have this linear hustle all the time. We're meant to cycle through things. When we override our nervous system, we override our wisdom as well. You can probably relate that there have been times when you knew you were tired and you knew you couldn't handle anymore, but you were a trooper. You put your big girl panties on and you made it happen. But it's not necessarily a good place for you. Rest Is a Leadership Skill Rest is a leadership skill. Rest is a necessity.  I want us to reframe rest in these four different ways: 1. Rest Is Strategic It's a strategy you put into your business so you can come back recharged, more creative, more ready to take things on. 2. Rest Is Intelligent You're smart to rest. Everything has to rest at some point. It's not saying that if you don't rest, you're dumb, but you're not listening to your own wisdom. 3. Rest Is Protective It protects you from getting super sick, from your nervous system going into chaos, from all of these things that we don't want to happen. I once volunteered for an organization, and one of the main people had a nervous breakdown because she was “on” so much. The sad thing is, the pendulum swung, and she went into the complete opposite where she couldn't handle anything. She couldn't even reply to our emails to tell us she couldn't do the role anymore and we had to knock on her door and talk to her husband to find out what had happened. 4. Rest Is Expansive Rest gives you that time and space to get new ideas, to have more creativity, to be able to see the big picture again. We're not limited with blinders because things are becoming too much. My Rest Period I'm writing this in advance of one of my rest periods. By the time you're reading this, I'll be in my second week of being in Mexico, having a real rest, where the only decisions I have are:
These spaces really help me to recharge because I'm not on. That means there's going to be some designing of things with the people I'm with, less expectations, maybe more boundaries. That's why I'm pre-recording my podcast, my YouTube, my blog, doing all these things in advance so that I can have that rest. You can have rest by doing things in advance too. The Choice We have some contrasts here:
It shouldn't be a hard choice for you. It's just about thinking:
What Would Your Leadership Look Like? What would your business look like? What would leadership look like if it included restoration, rest, or recharging? It doesn't have to be two weeks in Mexico. I get that I'm blessed to be able to do that, and I have a supportive spouse (because I do have two children). What would your business look like if you could:
 From Performing to Grounded Power I hope that this makes you look at where in your life you feel like you're performing or you're pushing, and that you can start to see where there maybe could be some cycles rather than hustle. It's not that you're not capable of hustling and doing, but it's about being in a different space:
In the world today, that will not only be something that's going to greatly help you, but it can be something that is a legacy, an inspiration, a model to those women and girls behind you as to how we need to treat ourselves so that others start to treat us that way too. Who needs to learn this? Share it with them. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you been living for your vacation, or thinking that "my vacation should be restful, but I need a vacation from my vacation"? Then there's a chance that you are not resting. You're just taking your stress somewhere sunny You need to know the difference between escape and intentional pause.  In the moment you are reading this, I'm in sunny Nuevo Vallarta: sitting by a pool, reading a book, chatting with my friend, listening to some great music. I share this for two reasons: 1) it’s what sparked this topic, and 2) I want your vacations to be a time for intentional pause, not just escape from the day-to-day grind. You may be wondering if I am sitting by a pool; did I write it by the pool, or did I leave to work in my room? Neither. Before I go away, I pre-record my content as a video, then my Virtual Assistants take my video, put it on YouTube, publish it as a Podcast, and write my blog from the transcript. I do this so that I can go away and be chill. I'm going to talk about that tactic in a little bit. (Side note: I completely understand that I'm very privileged to be able to go away. And grateful I have business support and my husband’s support. Even though my husband has the financial means to go, he's not fully free in his schedule because he works for a company and has limitations on his vacation time.) I’m writing this because I want all women to have better vacations, more restful vacations, and to share how to reintegrate when you come back so that you feel even more rested. The Assumption High-Achieving Women Make Something I see all the time with high-achieving women is the assumption, “If I go away, I will feel better.” The truth is, you can change locations and still bring the same pressure with you. I have been on many a vacation, or even to masterminds, where the person I am with or the people I am with are still spending a few hours by the pool or still in the room answering emails, working on a project, in meetings and not able to fully relax because they are needed and when they aren’t they're wondering, "Did that thing get done properly?" This could be for someone in a career or running their own business, and I don't want you to have the same pressure when you're trying to take that pause. The Big Distinction There's a big distinction here: Escape: I'm running from something. I'm trying to get away from it. Intentional Pause: Creating space to realign and recharge, or to be re-excited about things. Every vacation, every trip, every time away doesn’t have to be an escape. Instead, the shift is to make it an intentional pause. Vacations don't automatically equal rest, but they can. I know people close to me who are living for their vacations. They work so hard. It's so stressful. They hate their boss, or something about it, and all they want to do is escape. They just want to get away. When you escape, you go on vacation, but you can't fully get away from it. What Escape Looks Like
I definitely don't want you to just change the venue where you're still working super hard while you're away. I can remember being by the pool with a friend who was stressing about a proposal that she had to put together as a presentation. It was thrown at her at the last minute, so she wasn't able to prepare in advance of our trip. I said, "Hey, do you want someone on my team to just make that PowerPoint presentation for you?" She's like, "Really, that can happen?" Having someone else take care of things or help you get ahead when things pop up while you're away is really handy. What Intentional Pause Looks Like Intentional pause looks like:
People say to me, "Oh, I could never sit by a pool for a week." Well, I'm not just sitting by the pool. I am:
That's the problem these days: we don't have this buffer time. We don't have space. Usually, before it would be waiting for a client, waiting at the doctor's office. Very rarely did you have a book or look through a magazine. But now it's just every moment your head is in your phone. There's been research about this: university students have a harder time remembering the information they just learned because right after class they go on their phone, rather than discussing with their classmates what they just learned. The brain is naturally putting things away, sorting the different pieces as we leave one task or experience. Instead, your brain goes straight to "Oh, look at this funny video,” or “My friend messaged me." There's no time for your brain to sort through the information. That's why when I go on these types of vacations, I want to have quiet time with no pressure for anything. How High-Achieving Women Use Travel to Avoid Check with yourself, if these are true for you on how you think of time off or travel:
 I've done all of these. I've seen all of these in the women I coach. These can be completely normal things in society, but I don't want it to be normal for you. Signs You're Actually Restoring Yourself on Vacation
The reason is that restoration often feels quiet rather than exciting or exhilarating. Now, if you're the type that's like "That's so boring, Diane, I never could," but are you always on? Do you never have that time to chill? If you don't and you're stressed, this could be the type of vacation that you need: this lower-pressure, slower-paced type of vacation. What I Intentionally Left at Home Here's what I consciously left at home and why it mattered: 1. Major content creation: I did it in advance. I record one video that gets put on my YouTube channel, my podcast, my blog, and all my socials, and my team does the same. I pre-recorded my major content pieces. And I’m editing this blog on the flight. 2. Meetings: The only thing I'm going to be doing is coaching my current clients and even that is reduced. I'm not taking on anything else. Anything I do have I'm trying to groupa few together at a time. 3. The pressure to be productive: If I get to the aquasize class and maybe do Mexican bingo in a day, wonderful. I have no pressure to do it all. I aim to run most days. If I do it, great. If not, that's fine too. 4. The version of me that's always responsible for everyone else: This is a vacation with a friend. She can take care of herself. I can take care of myself. What often happens is we care for each other, which is really lovely. I don't have to be responsible for anyone else's happiness, even hers. I don't have to be responsible for what people are eating, doing or drive anyone anywhere. That is one of the joys of being able to step away without bringing my family. I'm so blessed that my husband is supportive of this. It's not necessarily that I need his permission, but I am so appreciative that he's cool with me going. I told him the other day, "I so appreciate that I get to go. Because you could say no, it's too hard" (because he steps up and he parents both sides, and I know single parents do that all the time, but he's stepping into that). He doesn't guilt me for it. I don't owe him anything. He even said, "You work really hard. You deserve it." I come back a better person. That's, I guess, his reward. How to Return Without Wrecking the Rest How do you return without snapping back into your old habits, without coming back and feeling again overwhelmed or overworked or stressed? Here are a few practical ideas you can easily bring in, even if you just had a weekend away: 1. Have Things Done Ahead of Time Are there things you will need to have done for the 1st or 2nd day back? Then have tasks completed before you go, not just for the trip, but for the first few days when you get back. You don't want any pressure to be doing anything under a deadline. 2. Don't Immediately Fill Your Calendar I like to give myself a two-day buffer after coming back so I can re-enter slowly and on purpose. That's the key thing: on purpose. Otherwise, the calendar is going to get filled with the things that were important to you before you left. 3. Protect One Habit that Came From this Intentional Pause There are certain habits that you picked up that were positive from this intentional pause that you want to bring into life. Is it consistent sleep, reading, eating nutritiously, maybe swimming, other healthy habits, reflection, journaling, whatever it may be? Just pick at least one and protect that. Keep doing it. 4. Notice What Feels Intolerable Now The things that you cannot stand. That's data for you. When your emotions are saying, "Oh, this is so frustrating. Oh, I don't like that anymore. That's annoying," really take that in. That's dissonance. You're not feeling energy from it, you're feeling that friction. So you want to take notice: "Wow, okay, that thing annoys me, or that type of meeting, I don't like that anymore." You get to make a change or improve things. 5. Change One Expectation, Not Everything You might go on this wonderful trip and think, "Oh, I'm going to do all of these things when I get back." You might not be able to get all of those things in place, but if you change just one expectation when you return, one habit, one thing, that is more manageable. Then you can add in more. You Don't Lose the Clarity On your trip, with that intentional pause, you're gonna have some clarity. You might come back and feel like you've lost the clarity, like "Oh, it's just not there anymore. I'm not having the same visions or the same understanding of things." The trouble is, you don't lose the clarity. You don't lose that ability to pause. You completely abandon it. You abandon it because you don’t tap into it by taking a longer pause and maintaining some of that intentional pause as you come back into your regular life. You can, but you choose not to. Final Thoughts What if your next break wasn't a desperate escape from your reality, but instead an intentional pause that's planned? I encourage you to do that. It's not just about self-awareness. It's about actually allowing that, noticing:
I would love for you to have less of that feeling of "I need to run away from my life" and more of coming back to yourself from now until the end of your days. I'm curious: what's your biggest takeaway? I'd love to hear from you. You can email me personally: [email protected]. I really hope that the next time you go away, you feel, know, and implement the difference between escape and intentional pause. Until next time, stay dynamic!
You're amazing at what you do, but not enough people know that you exist, and that's costing you not just money but your confidence. Today, I'm breaking down why being good isn't enough, and why you need a Clarity Plan that shows you the fastest path to cash.  You're Really Good at What You Do I'm guessing you're really good at what you do. So many times I coach clients who are really good at what they do. Their testimonials are fantastic. Your clients get results, and they rave about you. You're talented, you're skilled, you're capable. So why are you still stuck at the same income level? The Frustrating Reality Here's what I see in women all the time. They're excellent at their craft, but they're making $40K, $50K, $60K. Maybe they've broken the $100K and gotten into the six figures, while other people who you maybe look at and you go, "They're not as good as me. They're not as educated as me, they don't have as much experience as me," but they're making $150K, $200K, $300K, beyond $500K, even into seven figures. You think, "Why? Why?" Because it doesn't matter how good you are if no one knows you exist. There are other things too that are stopping you from making the money you want, and instead of being the best-kept secret. That is a problem. The Hard Truth Excellence without visibility equals... living below the financial numbers you want to achieve. Potentially, it's pushing a lot of business owners back into careers, back into getting that paycheck every two weeks, and back into having a boss. Maybe that's not what you want. You can be the best at what you do, but I don't want you to be the best and be broke, or the best and not live your best life because you don't have the financial backing to do so. I know it feels unfair, and you're probably thinking, "I've worked so hard at my craft. I have put in hundreds of hours or years of work, and I'm really good. Shouldn't that be enough?" But the thing is, it's not. It's not how good your website looks. It's not how fancy your business cards are. Because there are always going to be mediocre people making 10 times what you're making because they have the kind of secret sauce that maybe you're missing. It's not because they're better. It's maybe because:
Rather than positioning yourself by thinking, "Oh, I'm just a really great coach.” “I'm a really great accountant.” “I'm a really great real estate agent," you're not looking at things through the lens of a marketer. Because they're known, they're getting the business. Or because they're thinking like a marketer, they're able to get the business. What the Best Kept Secret Is Costing You See which of these are true for you: 1. Your Income What I see is people who feel like the best-kept secret are undercharging because they don't have enough demand. They feel scarcity, and so they just take what they can get. Or they charge less because they want to make sure that when leads do come to them, there's a yes. That means you may be taking any type of client who comes along because you need the money. I've also seen a lot of people in this category who will do a lot of things for free because it seems like a good opportunity. They're going to get exposure, or they're going to volunteer because they love their craft so much that they just want to do it. And so if that means doing it for free, then they will. 2. Opportunities It can cost you speaking engagements, partnerships, and media features. They're going to go to people who are more well-known rather than people who are maybe the best. This is even more true as I enter the one-woman-show and acting-industry areas. I've heard there are a lot of closed castings, and it's only who you know and who is known that gets through. A lot of times, when applying for grants, the shows with a known name are going to get the grant. Do you need to get yourself into that position of known AND best? 3. Time You're probably wasting years of work being invisible while less talented people start building these empires, and then you're like, "That's not fair. How did they surpass me?"  4. Confidence I see people in this situation losing their confidence all the time. Because you're not making the money you want to make, because you're not getting the number of clients that you want, you start questioning yourself. You see other people succeeding, and you think, "What am I doing wrong?" I don't want you to be in that place. What You May Be Missing: A Clarity Plan Here's what you may be missing that could put all of the pieces together: a Clarity Plan. One that includes your inner and outer wealth, your marketing, and what's really going to move your business forward. Not Just a Marketing Plan Most people think they just need a marketing plan. "Oh, I'm going to post on social media every day. I'm going to be on every platform. I'm going to become an influencer." But it's exhausting, and it's not fully what you need. It's just a little piece of it. Instead, you actually need a Clarity Plan. Depending on where you are in your business, ask yourself:
The answers to those two questions will help you decide which direction your Clarity Plan takes. It's different for everyone. The Three Questions Your Clarity Plan Answers Question 1: How Is Your Inner and Outer Wealth, and Where Does It Ideally Need to Be? Inner wealth: Your joy, your satisfaction, your fulfillment. Outer wealth: The things that make you money. We need both. Otherwise, you're going to be a really happy poor person or potentially an unhappy rich person. We need both inner and outer wealth to be satisfied in life. Question 2: What's the Fastest Path to Cash for You? A lot of times, people think:
We want to look at:
We want to look at what will work for YOU. What is your fastest path to cash based on your strengths, your audience, and your offers? Sometimes, with clients, even just tweaking the price they offer, the number of packages they offer, or the way they position things. I remember just one tiny tweak we made for one of my clients, and she brought in an additional $5,000 in just a couple of days. By doing the same thing she already did, and with no extra work. She just tweaked a couple of things. Question 3: How Do People Discover You, Trust You, and Buy from You? What's the plan for that? It's not random tactics. It's not hoping people find you. It's a clear path from "I've never heard of you" to "I'm ready to invest." Without a Clarity Plan, you're guessing. You're trying things randomly. You're posting on Instagram, hoping someone sees it (and maybe Instagram isn't the best platform for you). You're saying yes to this networking event, even though you're not getting any ROI (return on investment) from them. You just feel like you're spinning. With a Clarity Plan, you're focused. You know:
That's the difference. My Story: I Was the Best Kept Secret I felt like I was the best-kept secret for years. If people just knew I existed, they would want to hire me. If they understood what I did and experienced it firsthand, they would hire me. A lot of times they did, but there was a gap, right? My clients loved me, and they got results, but I was stuck at that same income level for years. I kept thinking, "If I just get better at my craft, if I just take another course, more people will come." I took more courses, got more certifications and became more skilled. I was excellent, but I was still at a financial point where it just felt like I was broke. I didn't love it. But I didn't have a Clarity Plan. I didn't know what my fastest to cash option was. I didn't have a clear path for how people would discover me. I was just hoping. Even after I took some courses and gained some marketing savvy, it still didn't quite line up. I was doing the things, but I was like, "Why am I not getting the results?" It's funny, I remember being in a program where I was told by the two people running it, "You are one of our top five we have ever seen. You aced your offer, and I enjoyed watching it, so I just don't know why I don't want to buy from you." What Finally Changed I finally invested in getting an amazing coach who helped me to get clear on what I was doing well and what wasn't going well for me. When I got clear, I started to know how to turn things around. I did things like:
I gained clarity on what I really needed to be satisfied with my inner wealth and on how to have the type of outer wealth I only dreamed of. Within six months, my income doubled. I remember one day that blew my mind. I made an offer and earned more than I had the year before. It's not that I got better at coaching. It's because I had a Clarity Plan and I followed it. The Clarity Plan is not something I got from a specific coach. It's something I was able to put together from all these different pieces, "Ah, this is the right recipe for me." That's what I do with my one-on-one clients: I bring them through this so they know who to talk to, what to say, and how to get in front of the right people, so people start finding them. That's what I want for you. I want people to start finding you, not for you to remain that best-kept secret. The Real Cost You probably hear this: people say, "I can't afford to invest in getting clear right now." Let me flip that: You can't afford not to. I'll tell you, when I paid for it, it was a really big investment for me, and I felt nervous about it. But every month that you stay the best-kept secret, you're losing income. Let's Do the Math Let's say you're stuck at $50K, and you could be at $150K right now with the right Clarity Plan. That's $100,000 a year that you're losing. Over three years, that's $300,000.  Now, what if I said you could get your own Clarity Plan for just $997? I wish someone had done that for me all those years ago. Because the problem is:
What's the real cost of staying a secret? The question isn't "Can I afford this?" The question is, "How much is it costing me to stay stuck?" It wasn't just costing me financially. It was costing me:
Maybe you feel that way too. The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator If you're thinking, "Yeah, I'm the best kept secret, and I'm so good, but no one knows me. No one knows I exist," I want to invite you to The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator. It's a two-day intensive where we create your Clarity Plan. We're doing this the first week of March, but there are dates continuing after that as well. Here's What We Do: 1. Get Clear on Your Inner and Outer Wealth Goals It's not the same for everyone. They're specific to you and who you're going to be. 2. Map Out Your Fastest to Cash Path We figure out who your best clients are, and map out your fastest to cash. Often, there is the lowest-hanging fruit, which helps you knock out your financial goals really quickly. I help you decide: What offer? What price? What's your path based on your strengths? 3. Build Your Credibility and Visibility Plan How do people discover you? We're going to make you a published author, a collaborative author in the fifth book in the Dynamic Women® Secrets series. We're going to do that because it's going to build that instant credibility, instant positioning. You get to leverage my network, my social media and such. 4. Create a 90-Day Blueprint You'll know exactly what to do on Monday morning. No more guessing, no more spinning, just a clear plan. The Investment: $997 I know some of you are thinking, "I can't afford that," but here's what I want you to know: You can't afford:
Ready to Get Known? If you're ready to get known, I encourage you to message me. Tell me a little bit about you, and I'll let you know how you can come and join in on The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator. Let's build your Clarity Plan together. Let's get you visible. Let's turn the excellence you have into a high income. Contact me: [email protected] Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you ever thought, "I should be able to handle this myself?” If so, this blog is for you because I'm talking about the capable woman trap: why being good at everything keeps you stuck.  Are You Really Good at Figuring Things Out? Let me ask you something: Are you really good at figuring out things on your own? I already know the answer is probably yes, because you're reading this, and that's the type of person who reads this content. You're a high-achieving, Type A, capable woman. You're smart, resourceful, and you can figure things out. But that can also be what's keeping you stuck. What Is the Capable Woman Trap? It's really that belief: "I am capable, I shouldn't need help." Where does this come from? You've probably spent your whole life being the person who figures things out in your group of people. How this shows up:
That's when the problem hits. In both scenarios, your first instinct is "I've got this, I can do this, I can figure it out." Then the problem is: it works. You do figure it out, but that reinforces itself. It reinforces the idea that you are capable, that you should be able to figure it out, and so you do it. But every time you successfully solve something for someone else, or you do something for your business alone, you think, "See, I don't need any help. I can do it myself." Why It Feels So True (But Isn't) You think "I can do it myself" because:
Here's What's Actually Happening Below the Surface You're spending your time (spending meaning you're not going to get the time back). You're spending your time, your strategic time, your skilled time, the time that you could be earning $500+ an hour, but instead you’re doing $25 an hour tasks. Do you see where this could be a problem? You've maybe heard this and you know this, but you still do:
Could someone else do those things for you? 100% yes. But you still think:
Your Competence Is Your Cage It's actually keeping you stuck. How competent you are is actually your cage. It's caging you in. The more you prove "I can handle this, I can do it on my own, I can be self-reliant and independent," the more you take on in your own business, the more you take on in your life, and the more people will pile things on you. The more you take on also means:
What I often see in my coaching clients or the women I talk to is that they don't have time for cash flow activities (sales calls, strategy, building partnerships, making the right connections, following up on leads). They don't have time for that, and they don't have time for high-value work like high-level client delivery, creating offers, developing programs (the things your clients pay you for, or the things necessary for you to run a great business in the CEO or manager position). But you can't do those things in your business if you're drowning in admin and other things. A Real Example I worked with a woman who earned $75k per year. She’s very capable, and doing everything herself. When we audited her time, she was spending 15 hours a week on tasks that she could hire someone else to do for $20 an hour. That's like:
Do you think you could make that back if you just had some targeted, specific tasks that you did in your day? For sure. Imagine 15 hours a week on cash flow activities, 15 hours a week in that CEO role or the manager role, both. She thought, "I'm saving money by not hiring help," but she wasn't. She was costing herself money, which is the big shift that needs to happen. Those 15 hours a week she could have been doing sales calls, client delivery, strategic planning, basically work that would generate her $30k, $50k, $100k or more per year. Her capability kept her at that $75k until we had her offloading tasks. Then she broke the six-figure mark, and now she is in multiple six figures. My Own Story I learned this myself. I was stuck at the same income level for about three years. I was working 60+ hours a week (probably 70-80 hours most weeks). I was doing:
 I kept thinking, "Once I make more money, then I'll hire help. It's fine that I'm still doing all the things myself." But I wasn't making more money because I was doing all the things myself. Maybe you can relate, or maybe in your life, you're doing all the things yourself and you shouldn't be. I finally made that decision: I need to not just invest in support (a virtual assistant), but in a coach to help me be strategic about it. Even though it felt super scary and I felt like "I just can't afford this," it was like "I can't afford not to." Within six months, my income doubled. Why did I wait so long? And I didn't make more because I worked more. I actually started working less. It was because I finally had that time for those high-value tasks, the high-value work, the cash flow activities, and then the strategy to be able to use that time wisely. The Key Lesson Capacity doesn't scale. Only supported capacity scales. Let me say that again: Capacity doesn't scale. Only supported capacity scales. The two ways to implement this are to hire support to do the work and hire support to coach you, give you strategy and share their proven tools. The Real Cost of the Capable Woman Trap 1. You Turn Down Opportunities You end up turning down opportunities because you just don't have the bandwidth:
Even if you're like "Diane, I would never give up a client opportunity," you might do it in other ways. I was invited to speak at an event. There wasn't really any pay involved (this was earlier in my business), but it was an opportunity to position myself and make an offer. All I needed to do was send them my speaker one-sheet. But because I had to make it myself, I missed the deadline, and they moved on to someone else. That's missing out on an opportunity. 2. You Resent Your Own Success You're really successful, but you're drowning. You're hitting your goals, but you're miserable because you're doing everything yourself. 3. You Take the Long Road You learn as you go instead of learning from someone who has already done it. Or you try to figure out the templates yourself, the strategy yourself, the scripts yourself, the how-tos yourself without just borrowing from someone else who's now providing support in an advisory role.  You don't have to figure out tech for six hours. You can just hire someone to do it in 30 minutes. You don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. You can get that advice from others, put it into place, reap the rewards, or get support to get the things done and then reap those rewards. Shift from Capable and Alone to Capable and Supported I don't want you to stop being capable. You are capable. That's not the question. But capable plus being supported beats being capable alone every time. If you think "I love being capable," great, still be capable, but get some support. I remember reading something about Oprah that said, "I had a coach to be successful, and when I was successful, I didn't drop my coach. I got more coaches."
Are they capable? Absolutely. But they're smart enough, wise enough to realize "I can't do it all myself." Do they do everything alone? Never. Because they know support isn't a luxury. It's a requirement as you get to higher levels and as you build from the level you're at into that six-figure and multi-six-figure, up to seven and beyond. The Question Isn't "Can I Do This Alone?" I know you can. And you've probably proved it time and time again. The question is: What's possible when I don't do it alone? That's such a fun question. Sit with it for a moment. What's possible when I don't do it alone? What Support Actually Looks Like It's not about being weak, it's not about being incapable, lack of independence, lack of being self-reliant. No, it's strategic. You don't find multi-million-dollar companies having their CEO answer the phones, make the social posts, and manage their inbox. There are teams for that, there are people for that. Support can be: 1. Handing over work to a virtual assistant for $25 an hour so that you can focus on tasks that are $500 an hour (this doesn't mean you go organize your desk and take a nap during your work day. You still get the stuff done, but you don't have to work beyond your hours) (Want to chat about having one of my VAs support you? Book a time to chat here. 2. A coach who has already walked the path that you're trying to walk. A lot of times, coaches and business owners hire me because they say, "Diane, I know you've done that before. I want you to show me. I want you to give me the insider scoop. I want you to help take something that would take me years to do and help me do it in months, or months to do and help me do it in a day." 3. A mastermind of peers who challenge you, who champion you 4. A team member who handles what you're not good at (like those sales calls) or the things you don't want to do (like your taxes and your bookkeeping) 5. Someone sharing their systems and templates so you don't have to figure it out, you can just follow what they have done My Invitation to You If you've been listening and thinking, "That's me, I'm the capable woman, I've fallen into this trap," then I want to invite you to: The Wealth Shift This last week, I held two events called The Wealth Shift, where I talked about the ways that you can shift yourself to be able to make the kind of wealth that you're wanting to have. This capable woman trap is one of the pieces that I trained on. If you are local or are willing to travel to North Vancouver, BC, then please email me [email protected] to learn about one of our upcoming events. If you are virtual, too far away, and you want to be at our online training, please sign up for the waitlist, because once I have enough people, I'm going to hold that. Dynamic Wealth Accelerator I invite you to my newest program The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator. It's a two-day intensive where one of the things we do is we map out your support structure. Not in theory, not someday when you can afford it, but we map it out now:
Here's what I know: You can't scale doing everything yourself. You won't. You'll reach a threshold where you can't get past a certain place, and you deserve to not be trapped in your own capability. We're also going to go through:
If you want to learn more about the Dynamic Wealth Accelerator, I encourage you: reach out to at [email protected]. Let's get you out of that capable woman trap and into that ecosystem where you're supported, you're not alone, and you can really start to live the life you're meant to live, that freedom life, and have the type of wealth that you're really looking for. Until next time, stay dynamic!
This time of year is terrible for habit overload. Everywhere you turn, someone's telling you: wake up earlier, journal longer, optimize harder. Basically, your morning routines start to feel like a boot camp or a full-time job rather than something that supports you.  If you've tried to be more disciplined and it just hasn't stuck, don't worry. You're not broken. In this blog, it's all about adding the right habits and choosing habits that actually fit your life now, not you a few years ago, a few years from now, or in a different situation. I want to make sure that any habit you bring in actually helps you feel better, have more clarity, or feel more supported, rather than one that stresses you out or adds more pressure. Positive habits are there to help you create better behaviours for yourself, a better way of living, and to move from something being just a habit to actually part of your lifestyle that you can maintain over time. My Habit Journey I'll be honest, I’ve had plenty of great habits when I was younger. I also had many bad habits. It was easier to have good habits when I didn't have kids, especially young kids, and I could sleep through the night, and my time was more open. Now that my kids are getting older (they're 11 and 14), there's this shift for me. I don't want to do all this habit stacking and pushing with habits. I want the habits that are actually going to help me now. The Problem with Copy-and-Paste Habits You've probably seen this time of year so many people telling you what to do or what habits to bring in:
These copy-and-paste habits or routines will often fail because the context of the habit and who they're for is more important than having the hype or fad habits. What works for someone else may be entirely wrong for you. Especially us women, at different stages in our lives, there will be different habits that are more important. When I was younger, there was a lot of ability to push my body physically and do exercises that really stressed my body. But now that I've come into a different age (a little bit of perimenopause), my body doesn't want to be stressed, and all that's going to do is spike my cortisol. Comparison to other people will create guilt, not the consistency that you're wanting. When you borrow someone else's routine, someone else's habits, you're often borrowing or adopting their expectations too, which might not fit your lifestyle or who you are. Different Seasons Require Different Habits Different seasons of your life require different habits. A habit that worked five years ago might not work for you today, and instead, it might drain you. Rather than having habits that don't fit your life, we want to pick habits that are easy to maintain. A habit that doesn't fit your life will always be difficult to maintain, and we're going for consistency. The Danger of Habit Stacking Habit stacking is when you do one habit on another habit on another habit. I used to do this with the Miracle Morning, where they have something called SAVERS: Silence, Affirmation, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (writing). Adding more habits or stacking them together doesn’t automatically lead to more success. Often, it quietly turns into pressure. When there’s a specific order, a set amount of time, and an expectation to “do it all,” one disruption can derail the whole plan. Instead of building momentum, habit stacking can end up fueling self-criticism and judgment. When you miss one habit, even though you did nine out of ten, you might suddenly feel like the whole day is a failure, or that you didn't start your day right, or that you can't follow through. When Habit Stacking Can Work The Miracle Morning suggests ten minutes for each of six activities (for a total of one hour). Sometimes that's doable for some people. For me, my morning is often getting the kids ready, then getting myself ready, then starting work. I don't necessarily have the time or desire to do that many things.  What I'm doing now is doing a couple of things for longer, and therefore, in my case, better. When I used to do the Miracle Morning, though, I would cut it short if I was short on time. If you've lost half your time, do five minutes each (30 minutes total). Some days, I only did one minute of each thing (six minutes total). There wasn't always that pressure to do all six things for ten minutes. I was able to adapt it based on my day. Better Ways to Stack Habits Another way habit stacking can work is by pairing or connecting things. What if, when you wanted to start doing more squats per day, as you brushed your teeth, you were also squatting? Brushing teeth and squatting, brushing teeth and squatting. What if you wanted to practice gratitude and used voice-to-text as you made your coffee? Instead of stacking habits, try matching a new habit to something you already do well. Anchor it to an existing positive routine. For me, I’ve joined a “read the Bible in a year” group and chose to listen to the narration and scripture while getting ready in the morning. I only do it when I can actually pay attention, and not for the entire time, because reflection matters just as much as listening. Common Signs You're Taking On Too Many Habits
Gentle truth: If your habits drain you, they're not supportive. Even good habits stop being good if they drain you. If something is costing more energy than it gives back, it’s not serving you. Only commit to what you can realistically sustain, and often that means reducing your commitment, not pushing harder. Habits That Support Your Capacity You might be able to relate to not having the bandwidth or the capacity for something. After my father died, I heard that grief can kill your capacity and your bandwidth. I was like, "Ah, that makes so much sense as to why I can't do all the things I normally do." Rather than focusing on output, let's focus on capacity because we focus far too much on productivity (what are we doing, doing, doing) and not enough on sustainability. Habits That Restore Energy
Habits That Simplify Decisions
 For example, I was just working with a new client to bring more movement into her life. She wanted to start yoga again. Rather than saying, "I'm going to go to yoga every single day or five days a week," I said, "How many could you 100% do?" She said two. The result? One week she did three; the other week she did four. She was able to go beyond what she had committed to. Habits That Protect Your Focus One task at a time: I like to use Toggl to tell it what I'm doing: replying to emails, writing the event description. Then I only focus on that. I actually did a video about the Pomodoro technique. That helps reduce the noise and interruptions in my mind because I'm just focusing on that one task. Also using Brain.fm (binaural beats) helps me focus even better. Adding that in doesn't actually take any more time or energy, but it gives it back to me. Key reminder: Output is going to follow your capacity, not willpower. Seasonal Habits: Picking Your Habits for the Season There are life seasons and business seasons. In a previous post, I talked about momentum seasons and maintenance seasons. Momentum seasons: Growth season is when the business is growing. An energetic season is where you have a lot of energy, creativity, and gumption. A supportive season is where you have other people supporting you. Times when the stars are aligned. That's when you can bring on more habits and have more capacity and output. Maintenance seasons: Maybe when you're a parent, perhaps when you're healing or someone else is healing, or you're recovering, or you're ill, or there's been a terrible diagnosis, grief, or whatever it may be. This is a time to level out and just do the things that have to be done, or maybe do some things behind the scenes, rather than pushing, rather than lots of output, because your capacity and bandwidth are smaller. Your habits should reflect those two different times. You're not going to attempt to run a marathon during maintenance season. You're probably not going to launch a new business during maintenance season. You have permission to evolve. You're allowed to change your habits as your life changes. Ask yourself:
That's going to help you really decide how many habits you can have or how many you need to cut. Choose Fewer Habits, But Better Habits Maybe there's just one to three meaningful habits that you could have, and that would have so much more power than doing ten of them poorly. Pick habits that quietly support everything else. Ask yourself: What habit would make everything else easier? It could be going to bed earlier. An earlier bedtime might help you more with focus and energy than a long morning routine. Weekly planning instead of daily overwhelm. When you plan once, you stop negotiating with yourself every single morning because it's already decided. Maybe it's having support systems instead of pushing harder to multitask. Rather than saying "I'm going to do it all myself," you get help with the things you need. Fewer commitments in your life could be the thing that beats better time management. If you learn to just say no more, you wouldn't need habits to manage your time. Fewer habits that support your energy will always outperform the habits that demand it. You don't need more motivation, more willpower, or more discipline. You just need the right fuel in the first place. Wouldn't that be much easier? A Small Example: Coffee and Anxiety Sometimes I get anxiety. I could add in all these breathing activities, more walks, and putting my legs up against the wall. But one small thing I did is this: I heard that if you drink coffee on an empty stomach, it can cause anxiety. So now I eat my breakfast first, have a herbal tea or water with it, and then have my coffee after breakfast. Sometimes it's just switching things around rather than adding a bunch of habits. Because if I'm adding in breathwork, legs-up-the-wall, tapping, or other habits, that's going to take me 5 to 10, 15, or 20 minutes a day, rather than just changing when I drink my coffee. (Important note: I'm not saying don't meditate. I'm not saying don't do things for your nervous system or to calm you or for your anxiety. Please do the things. I'm just trying to show you how you can change something small, some small habit, rather than adding on a whole bunch of other ones.) The Goal The goal isn't to have this perfect routine where every area of our life has the best habits. It's more about picking and choosing to build sustainable habits. Less can actually move you forward faster. Wrap Up The best habits are the ones that fit your real life, the ones you're actually going to do. As you evolve as a business owner, a leader, and a high achiever, your habits should evolve with you. Makes sense, doesn't it? You don't need more discipline; you just need alignment. Choose the right habits, or delete the ones that don't fit into your life right now. Choose habits for the life and season you're in right now. Your Challenge Here's a little challenge for you, or an invitation: Take one habit off your plate this week that is not serving you, and just notice how it feels. Maybe it feels a lot better. Choose habits that support you now; choose habits that support who you are becoming. These are the habits that matter now. Until next time, stay dynamic!
It has been 13 years since I started the Dynamic Women community. Lots has changed over the years, and now I think it's time to redefine what it means to be a dynamic woman because it's beyond doing it all.  The Outdated Image Many people think a dynamic woman is someone who's doing it all. But that is such an outdated image of a strong woman. Why is it that a strong woman is the one who's hustling and doing all this stuff and filling her calendar and achieving? This is so outdated. I'm not saying that ever was my definition of a dynamic woman, but it's not about achieving success by choosing self-sacrifice, self-abandonment, doing it all, holding it all together, and never needing help. I want to question, very gently, my original intention, where it came from, and make sure that we have evolved, that this definition is super clear as we move into another year, where I still stand so strongly behind being dynamic. What Dynamic Is Not To go even further:
These definitions will quietly and very quickly exhaust women. Why I Originally Started Dynamic Women That's where I was at when I wanted to create the Dynamic Women community. At the time, it was even called Dynamic Women in Action, and I took "in action" off for multiple reasons. The main one is that just calling us Dynamic Women was enough. We didn't have to be in action. As a co-active coach, I was taught about the “being” and the “doing”, and I wanted to make sure that we brought the being in. If we're always Dynamic Women in Action, in the doing, then we're never in the being. After my daughter was a year old, I started to get back into networking. I was like, "Oh, this sucks." Maybe you feel that way now about networking. It was a lot of "Here's my business card, here's what I do, buy from me." It was very transactional and surface-level, and it was really starting to tick me off.  I thought, "Okay, I can be mad about this, or I can do something about it." So there I am, 2 AM, middle of the night, when I should be sleeping, thinking, "What can I do? I want to start my own group." Because if I can be bitter, or I can make things better, I'm going to make things better. I thought, "Confident Women group." But then no, because some women will feel like they’re not confident and I don't want them to feel left out. I then feel I downloaded the word "dynamic," because I thought, "Well, dynamic sounds really powerful. It sounds like a catalyst for change." The Power of Dynamic When I dove deeper, this word was super powerful, but it didn't mean that the woman had to be powerful in a forceful, productive, hustle way. Instead, what I found when I started each of my eight locations for the Dynamic Women community was that every time I started them and talked about what it meant to be dynamic, the words that I received from the women were polar opposites:
On and on, we got the polar opposites. So basically, being dynamic was every positive attribute, skill, quality, and adjective ever possible to define who a woman was. I thought, "Great, this encompasses all women. All women get to be dynamic." My Evolution Over time, the pendulum has swung for me, I have been very extroverted, outgoing and powerful, and I do a lot of things, and while that is still me, now I’m more on the “being” side in a lot of my life. I have experienced the benefit of being and as I have struggled with postpartum depression, regular depression, grief and overwhelm with my nervous system getting wrecked and other health issues, I've realized, "Wow, the dynamic woman is not about the push and the hustle and all that. It's around so much more." The Stages We Go Through Let’s discuss some stages that maybe you have felt, that you've gone through: Stage 1: Proving Ourselves In the early stages of anything we're doing, or even in our 20s and such, or as a new mom, or just earlier on in things, we're at a stage of having to prove ourselves. The way we prove our worth is by doing more. We have to prove we are capable. We have to prove our competence.  Sometimes that means…
Stage 2: Setting Boundaries As we grow over time, we start to set some boundaries and guidelines and make more decisions because we're starting to feel like, "Oh yeah, now I know more of what I'm doing." We can set some of these boundaries or guidelines in our work, and we start to see where we fit in. Our expertise grows, our competence does too, and we start feeling better about ourselves as we do better. We eventually get to a point where we're just like, "Screw all of that self-abandoning and doing all this stuff I don't want to do. I'm going to do what matters. I'm going to do the things in my life that are the priorities to me." It's not like you didn't have priorities before, but it was really difficult to stick to them. It was hard to set guidelines, be firm about them, and follow through. Stage 3: Living the Life You Want Then we get to this point later in life, where we get to live the life we really want to live and build the business we really wish to build. What I started to see in some of the ladies in the Dynamic Women community was that over the topics we had in monthly meetings, as they joined my coaching programs, as they worked one-on-one with me, they really were stepping into that higher place, that next stage. It was almost like they graduated. They fully came into who they were meant to be. They took the maturity in their success and were able to say:
This is how we go from proving to choosing. Your Identity Shifts Too Just as my clients and members were elevating and moving up, I was also elevating and moving up and making different choices for myself. I want to give you permission to change: Different seasons of your life require different versions of you. I'm going to say that again because I really want you to have this land: Different seasons of your life will require different versions of you. It doesn't mean you have to change yourself because you're bad. It means you will let go of identities that once served you but no longer do. I let go of:
It's okay to have a different version of you. It's okay to let go of past versions of you, even if people are like, "But that's what I love about you." Well, you know what? That's not who you have to be moving forward. You have permission to evolve without explanation. That's the same for a dynamic woman. She gets to evolve with all those different qualities and attributes, those polar opposites. She gets to choose whatever comes in. The New Dynamic Woman I'm inviting you into this new version of the dynamic woman:
She doesn't want that. (I hate when people say "you're so busy," because I've worked so hard not to be, to be able to honour myself and my family.) There is such a hidden cost to always pushing. You might be in a season where you can push, and that is working for you. Great. I'm speaking to the women who have pushed for so long or are now in a place where they have suffered from pushing so hard, from hustling, and they've gotten to that place of saying, "What now? I've checked off every box; I've had the success. What now? Why am I not happy?" The dynamic woman gets to be happy. Join Me for a Special Event There's a special event I have coming up on January 29 in North Vancouver. I'm going to bring these next-level, evolved, redefined dynamic women together. I'm holding two events on the 29th. It’s called, The Wealth Shift: How to Grow Your Business to 6 Figures and Beyond. Since you are a reader of the Dynamic Women content, I really want to reward you. There is no way I could have won five awards for the Dynamic Women podcast, that we could be in the top 2.5% of all podcasts, or had over 347 episodes without you. If you're curious about this next stage, if you want to be in the energy of that room, get some learning I’m going to share, and meet other like-minded women who are ready for that as well, then I invite you to come. The Wealth Shift is an intimate, in-person business workshop for women who are ready to grow their income without working harder or doing it alone. In this focused session, you’ll uncover the subtle shifts that separate businesses that plateau from those that scale. We’ll explore how successful women often mismeasure progress, leak time and opportunity, and rely too heavily on effort instead of structure, support, and alignment. You’ll leave with clarity around what’s actually driving income growth at the next level, where your current approach may be limiting you, and what needs to change to build sustainable wealth in your business and life. What Replaces Hustle What replaces hustle is:
She Chooses Wisely This new dynamic woman, you can be her. She's going to choose to be dynamic, and in life she will choose wisely. She knows that the ability to choose is the power. Her choosing herself, her priorities, her values, what brings her satisfaction is not weakness; it's wisdom. That's where the new dynamic woman is today. Thank you so much for reading. I so appreciate you. Until next time, stay dynamic!
You may think that to reach your goals, you need more willpower, but you don't. The problem isn't discipline. It's trying to carry growth, decisions, and momentum all alone. You don't need more willpower. You need more support. In your life. In your business. In your career. Or whatever it may be.  Imagine This Just for a moment, think about how different the year would be if you felt this way…
Reaching your goals, having a great life, and having the success and satisfaction you want isn’t about pushing harder. We often think, "Let's just do more, let's be more, let's have more in our calendar." That's not the case. Sometimes it's just about consistent support. My Realization There have been many times in my life when I felt like I couldn't quite get where I needed to be. I was capable and committed, but the workload felt heavier than it needed to be. I remember a time when I was launching these programs. I knew they were great, and others did too, but I wasn't getting the results I needed. I couldn't understand it. If I were just to use willpower, which oftentimes I resort to (maybe you do as well), it had me pushing harder and pushing through the troubles. It had me handling decisions alone. It ended up being a quiet burnout that was starting to take me out. The realization I had was that I didn't need more discipline. I didn't need to do more. I just needed support. That's when I knew I had to tap back into my coach and my mastermind group to bounce ideas off them, get strategy, and have them cheer me on. It was freeing to realize that willpower isn't the solution, and having people around me was so much more fun. The Truth About Willpower High-achieving women are taught: just try harder, be stronger, and you should be able to figure it out yourself. We do, right? We totally do. But at what cost? Late nights trying to get over the doubt, or even when you are doing well, and it's just feeling hard. The truth is that willpower is finite. There's only a certain amount that we can have, and even if we're at a very high level, it doesn't always recharge. We burn through it, and then what are we going to do? Support instead is sustaining. Support is invigorating, motivating, and confirming. If you're growing with willpower only, your growth will stall. It's not laziness, it's isolation. What Support Actually Does Two different ways of support and each has it’s own purpose:
Three things support gives you: 1. Perspective When You're Too Close I love this Les Brown quote: "When you're in the frame, you can't see the picture." Because you're in it, you can't see it. I can remember this one time I was trying to figure out what my "one thing" was. I kept saying to myself, "What is it? What is it?" I was trying various approaches. Eventually, I brought this to a little coaching triad I had (two coaches and me, three people). I said to them, "I just don't know. I'm trying to figure out what my thing is, and I’ve been trying for a long time." They said, "Diane, isn't it that?" It was right in front of my face, but I couldn't see it because I was too close. 2. Language for What You're Feeling A lot of times, coaches have been able to reframe things for me to say, "Oh, it sounds like you are running on low. It sounds like you're frustrated by this. It sounds like you may have self-abandoned in that situation. Now you're feeling guilt or shame or frustration and disappointment." I was like, "Yes, yes." Sometimes I knew that was the thing, and just having them confirm that, witness me, was enough. Other times, they actually gave me the sense that I finally had my solution: "Oh, that's it, that's it." By understanding how I felt, I was able to determine what I needed to do to move past it. 3. Permission to Pause and Recalibrate When you have someone with you, they provide that space so that you can say, "Yeah, I didn't think of it that way," or "Yeah, these are some possibilities." If we don't have that permission to pause, we just keep going. We keep trying to push and go, go, go, go. It's like you're on a train, and you never get off enough to check that you're actually going in the right direction, or to get on the correct train in the direction you need to go (that's the recalibration piece). We need space to pause, think, brainstorm, double-check, tune in, and recalibrate. To make a change, to just do one degree to the other side, to step back in and recommit. Momentum Comes from Support, Not Pressure Momentum doesn't come from pressure, but from accountability. It's kind of funny when I hear my clients say, "Oh yeah, I did that right before the call," or "I did that last night." So a little bit of accountability was helpful in that case, but not pressure that feels like guilt. That's not what we're looking for. Momentum comes from that ability to reflect and then to reinforce that decision that you have made to move forward, whatever that goal is. I know that, for myself, when I'm showing up in a group, I make sure my work is done because I want to be as committed as everyone else. Being in a space where everyone is committed to their own goals, whether big or small, life or business-focused. Having the right support and accountability really does move you forward. I know that many times, I wouldn't be where I am if I were relying solely on my own accountability. Isn't it odd that we're okay with dropping things for ourselves but not for others? We stay committed to other people's things, but not our own. What My Clients Discovered This topic came up because I conducted wrap-up calls with clients from The Breakthrough in 2025. They shared these comments about the monthly calls with the group which are something new I had added in:
It's that "I know I'm not in this alone," or hearing someone else be coached by me, that gives them the learning they need as well. The key thing was they weren't behind. They just needed a place to land and reset. We used to hold meetings just once a year when we made the blueprint, and with those I kept coaching, I saw how much better they did than those who went it alone. But when I started adding the quarterly calls, their results began to improve. Then I realized quarterly isn't enough, because that's only four times a year they get that check-in. They needed more. Just like if you were going to practice the piano, you need to do it more than just four times a year. You need to do it consistently to improve. The ability to tap into the group, get support and coaching, and be accountable at least once a month has moved them far beyond the goals they set for themselves. The Breakthrough 2026  A reminder: doors are open right now for The Breakthrough Program. In 2026, if you don't have a place that you can get that reset, accountability, reflection, to be able to see what's in the frame, to see what the picture looks like, then I invite you to join. It's not that the women needed more information to reach their goals. It's because they finally had that support, the support that had been lacking in the previous years. The Breakthrough 2026 is a year-long coaching experience designed to help you avoid relying on willpower. Each month, there's a call where you can reflect, recalibrate, and stay connected to what matters most, even when life gets busy. Life will get busy, and your accountability or commitment may slip. But you have that check-in point to re-energize and be re-motivated to continue. If you're capable but tired of carrying it all yourself, this is likely the support you've been missing. Two Questions for You Ask yourself now: 1. Where are you using willpower instead of support Is it with your goals? Is it in your business? 2. What would feel lighter if you didn't do it alone? For me, it's funny. For my health and fitness, I've always played sports. I laugh because I've said numerous times: I will run because the coach tells me. I will complete the drills during practice because I’m doing them with my team. You Don't Need to Become Someone Else I know there's a lot of hype right now around "new year, new you," but you don't have to become someone else. You don't need to buy into the hustle culture. You don't need more grit. Instead, you need support to stay aligned. It's not a weakness. It's a very wise decision. This year can feel lighter. This year, you can reach all of your goals, and you don't have to do it solo. Join The Breakthrough. Doors are closing, so you'll want to get in now. I'm always curious: what was it about this that helped you or intrigued you? What have been some takeaways? I'm always open to hearing it. You can email me: [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Imagine ending 2026 feeling clear, proud, steady. You're not burned out, you're not scrambling, you're not wondering "Where did the year go?" feeling like you just lived the year instead of actually making it exactly how you want it to be.  This is your reminder to stop letting the year happen to you. Have You Ever Felt This? Have you ever felt that feeling of:
I totally felt like that. I felt like I kept having success, but something was missing, or I kept getting stopped in similar places or with similar obstacles, or making the same mistakes. I was thinking, "Rather than just have another successful year, how can I build on the last year and feel great about it?" That's ultimately the question that made me pause and ask: What if this could be THE year for You?
Why Years Blur Together That's what can happen when you either stop winging it or using a basic plan. You use a deeper blueprint, one that is not just these top-of-mind goals that you have, but goals that are formed out of reviewing the previous year, that come from you getting a magnifying glass and looking more closely at the things that your heart is desiring. Most women don't lack ambition. They lack a space to reflect before they jump into their next year's goals. Then, during the year, they lack the space to brainstorm, bounce ideas, and get support on how things are going. Planes are off course 95% of the time, and they keep correcting course. If you lack space to reflect, a clear decision filter, or the support to stay aligned or motivated when life gets busy or hard, you won't have your best year. High achievers default to action instead of intention. I have been guilty of this for many years before I started my Breakthrough practice. So now, I don't feel like the year is happening to me.  You don't want the years to blur together. You don't want the years to just be, "I checked off the boxes." You want the years to be powerful and intentional in their own way. For you, I really want every year to be, in its own way, a breakthrough year. What a Breakthrough Year Really Is A breakthrough year is not about bigger goals, hustling harder, or fitting more in. It's not. That's what high achievers think: "This is the year I'm going to push harder, I'm going to do more, I'm going to have more, I'm going to be more." The way I look at it is, your breakthrough year actually starts with the honesty of:
When clarity comes before action, it will help create a breakthrough year. Intentional pacing to keep up with your vision. You can achieve the things you want to achieve AND still feel whole inside. It's about having not just a plan, but a blueprint you can revisit without abandoning any aspect. We all know, resolutions get abandoned pretty quickly. But how about goals? How about strong goals that are part of a full blueprint, a one-page plan that you can look at and use to guide you, plus support to get you there? Often, we are like a solo sailor on a ship, required to move the sail, steer, and protect the ship. And it's like, well, if I have to do all this alone, when do I eat, and when do I enjoy, and when do I rest? And who encourages us, and who works with us when we’re alone? Too often, we’re solopreneurs in our work, the lone wolf in our lives, and also alone towards our goals. BUT we need that support or at least consistent touch points. Two Powerful Questions I ask you: 1. What do you want to feel more of by the end of 2026? 2. What are you done repeating? When I guide clients through my breakthrough process, we identify patterns they have repeated throughout the year and possibly even the previous year. By completing the process, they became aware of it and made changes, developing the skills and tools to avoid repeating it. You may be done repeating:
What’s your answer to those two questions? Jot those down. This is just a sentence. This is just a word or two. This is not a full plan. But are you already seeing or feeling how these types of questions can help you create a more powerful plan for the next year? Because we don't want the year to just happen. We want to be intentional with more ease and more flow. Introducing The Breakthrough 2026 I want to introduce something to you. You might have heard of it before, but it's called The Breakthrough 2026. It supports clarity, confidence, and consistency, while having a year of support from me and other like-minded women. Who Is This For? Really, it's for a woman who doesn't want to have another year on autopilot, who doesn't want to feel alone. I've been doing this process for over 15 years, and it's been refined. It has been expanded to create a comprehensive blueprint. At first, we'd create one set of tools and be done. Then I added more tools and more to the process to create a full blueprint. Then, maybe two years ago, we did quarterly check-ins. But what I realized people were missing was a monthly group coaching focus and the accountability. That's why this program is now a year-long coaching experience. It's designed to help you slow down enough to get clear at the beginning, right? At the beginning, we slow down and get the breakthrough blueprint. It's so exciting. It's not only tools to help you or a compass to guide you, but also the motivation to achieve it.  What Makes This Different I created this for women who are thinking, "Yes, yes, I don't want another year to go by. I want to be intentional and supported. I want this to be my breakthrough year." We start off with my 3-Phase Process:
Then we can create the blueprint you can refer to daily. Some people keep it close to their desk or in their planner because it helps them throughout the year. It's not just a one-time thing. Again, this isn't about doing more. It's about doing what matters, with support from my monthly group coaching sessions, which guide you, help ground you and encourage you. Is this for You? If you're craving that clarity, want to take ownership of your year, be confident, and make the next 12 months feel aligned rather than exhausting, you can learn more here. I'd love to walk you through the process and be with you throughout 2026 to see your goals come to life, because that's the most exciting part. Stop Letting the Year Just Happen to You Take back the reins. If this stirred something in you, trust that. If you're interested, check it out. If you have questions, reach out to me at [email protected]. In closing, you don't need to do this alone. You aren't braver, better, smarter, or more accomplished when you do it alone. Trust me, goals are not enough. You may achieve a lot with goals, but you leave more on the table when you actually have a blueprint and know how to use it. It is like rocket fuel to achieve your goals. You don't need to do it alone. I'm here. The other ladies in the program are here. And the cool thing is, you don't have to have it all figured out before you join the program. I'll help you to do that. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you ever thought that maybe there's a future version of you that's wishing you had made different decisions at this time?  In this week’s blog, I'm going to be talking about what your future you is begging you to do before the year ends. 5-Day Reset Before I dive in, I also want to let you know that I'm in the middle of the free 5-Day Reset, which no matter when you're reading this, I encourage you to go through. It's a really great way to close off one year and start the next year. It's something I do every year at this time, and it is free to join. If we're still doing it, you can upgrade by donation. All donations are going to women's shelters, and I'm going to match them as well. If you upgrade, you'll be part of the Zoom live sessions, where you can ask questions, share your answers, and receive coaching from me. I'll keep the recordings up for a little bit after it finishes, in case you're reading this at a later time. Imagine Yourself One Year From Now Let's just imagine yourself one year from now. You're not stressed, you're chill. You think, "Wow, I've had such a great year." Then, ask your future self:
You might want to pause and answer those questions, think through them. This isn't about regret. It's about awareness. It's about possibility. The worst thing you can do is get to the end of the year, look back and say "This year was not how I wanted it to be.” or “This year, I'm so glad it's over because there was so much bad in it". Again, not about regret, but listen to the answers that your future self is telling you. What Your Future Self Doesn't Want I'm guessing that your future self doesn't want:
What Your Future Self Does Want They want support. Support isn't weakness. They want more joy, more goals being accomplished, more vision coming to life. All of this is wisdom that comes from experience What you can do is listen to what your future self is telling you and take the opportunity right now to make an action that's going to help your future self be able to look back and say, "Wow, that was great. That was such a great year."  I'm guessing what your future self is asking for:
An Invitation Your Future You Wants You to Say Yes To Your future self hopes you’ll accept my invitation to the Women's Business Success event. It's a moment of alignment at the start of the year. It's a time to pause, to be grounded before the year picks up speed. It's a room designed to support the next version of you. You don't have to change who you are. It's just the 2.0, the 3.0, the 4.0, whatever version you're on. When: January 8 (two sessions: morning and afternoon) Where: Live and in person in North Vancouver, BC Can't attend in person? We're doing a waitlist for an online version Your future you wants to be able to focus on clarity, confidence, and connection, and to have these three pieces locked in at the start of the year. It's Not About Doing More People say, "Diane, how do you do so much?" I get that I have virtual assistants that do a lot for me. But before I had any help and with my clients who still don’t have help. We all start with the same thing… clarity: knowing exactly where you're going so you don't need to second-guess yourself and waste time. It's having the confidence to go for it, even if it's things that will stretch you, because the more time we spend procrastinating, the more time we burn. Then you can get into action, doing the thing you had clarity and confidence to do. The event is the connection, the ability to share and grow and learn with other women around you so that you don't feel alone. Why Does the Timing Matter? Early January sets the tone for the rest of the year. A lot of times people feel like they don't really get their groove until the end of January. This is going to help you get that groove going early on in the year, to take advantage of all those days. Really, what you choose now is going to shape how the year unfolds. That goes beyond just choosing to attend (which is free, by the way, there's just a seat deposit). What you choose from today until the end of the year, what you choose from January 1 and beyond, that's going to shape how the whole year unfolds. What you do first thing in the morning, what you say yes to, what you fill your calendar with. Having support chosen early is going to create ease later. Choosing Alignment Before Habits Lock In Let me be the one to lead your kick-off. Lean on me to be the one to help create that clarity, the confidence, and the connection for you, because it's really about choosing alignment before the habits fully lock in. We want everything we're choosing to be in alignment so that our habits can then form based on that clarity and that alignment.  There’s no point in jumping forward if you don’t have the clarity; you're not going to feel confident to take action because it's not going to be in alignment. Choose Yourself Early This time of year can have a significant impact, so it's important to close the year right. It's important to feel good at the start of the year. I want you to have confidence that 2026 will be different and can be better than any year you've had. Choosing yourself early on is powerful because, trust me, other people will take your time. Other people will have you choose their agendas. Choosing yourself early, putting this in your calendar on January 8, is going to not only be a powerful thing for you at the start of the year (powerful by attending and getting the information and connecting with others and having a fun and productive time), but it's going to teach you that you choose yourself moving forward. We are often the last on our priority list, very far down or not even on it at all, because other people, our family, our friends, our neighbours, our clients, our volunteering, our boards, whatever it is that we do, are often ahead of our own needs. You Don't Need to Be Ready Please know you don't need a perfect plan. You don’t need to arrive with a plan for this event. You don't need everything figured out. You actually don't need anything figured out. You can come and let me guide you through the material I've prepared for the Women's Business Success event. If you're thinking, "I'm reading this, and I really love your stuff, Diane, and I want to come, but I don't have a business," that's okay. You are still welcome to come. Your Future You is Waiting Your future you wants you to be there on January 8 in North Vancouver. If you can't, there will be a waitlist for the online version. Please just make sure you sign up because as soon as I have enough people, I'm going to run that. You don't need to be ready. You just need to show up. Your future you will start to be formed on that day. Trust me, your future self is going to look back on this moment and say, "Wow, you listened. You chose yourself, and you booked your seat to be at the Women's Business Success event". This is the moment you get to choose support, choose the clarity, choose momentum, and choose connection with the other ladies that are there. There are only 10 spots per session, so please don't be disappointed. Grab your seat today. Thank you so much for being part of my 2025 journey. I would love to hear from you: [email protected].
Until next time, stay dynamic! No matter what it seems the world is telling you now, you don't have to follow a "new year, new you" approach. All you need is a little reset.  You don't have to overhaul your life. Small, intentional steps over five days can change everything. I'm going to share today about doing a reset and how I’m excited to bring back my 5-Day Reset, and you can join it for free. Permission to Reset Let me first start with permission. Permission to reset. I want you to have the relief that a reset is just a little change. It's not the pressure and the hardship of making everything new. Many women have been feeling a little stressed this time of year, and we're ready for a fresh start. We're curious what's next, and we're not interested in extreme resolutions or massive plans. While we may have big dreams and big goals, we don't want the hardship and the challenge that it can feel like. Instead, a reset is going to feel gentle, intentional, and doable, especially at this time of year. We don't need to go off for 12 days and do something major. Just five simple activities over five days. This is not about fixing yourself. It's about reconnecting with yourself. Especially over the holidays, you're giving so much to everyone else, and we want 2026 to start off really well. I'm inviting you to pause, reflect, and step forward with clarity rather than urgency. Why Resets Work Better Than Resolutions  We all know that resolutions last, what, like a month? They're often related to things we feel pressure to do:
Often, they fail because they are too big, too vague, too disconnected from real life, or we’re not fully committed or motivated to act. Many times, we haven't done the reset and the foundational work that follows before setting the right goals for us. But a reset works because it's happening one simple step at a time. It creates momentum so you feel that push, that flow forward rather than overwhelm. It's going to build your confidence quickly because after completing each activity you're going to feel accomplished saying, "That was easy." The Power of a Reset This approach has:
The 5-Day Reset: December 28 - January 2 The 5-Day Reset is something I've been doing for years. I can remember bringing my kids in on it when they were young, then I started telling my one-on-one clients. Over time, it was important I shared it with more people. I brought it to my Dynamic Women community, my email list, my podcast listeners and so many more. It's been a really fun experience. Though, the past two years I felt like I just wanted to really unplug over the break, so I haven't been sharing, but I've still been doing it on my own...until this year!  What It Actually Gives You Over the five days between December 28 to January 2, we're going to:
So many times people are jumping into goal setting before they've done this little reset and before they've built the foundation for the next year. This is around having clarity, not hustle. There are no major activities for you to do, instead it’s very quick and easy. It's more about awareness than self-judgment or judgment from others (because let's be real, there's enough of that). It's about momentum, not burnout. Why This Reset Is Different A lot of things around goal setting and personal development are meant to be a challenge, meant to be hard, meant to push you. This is not the time of year to be doing that. Those will drain your energy. This one is designed to fit into your real life, even during the busiest season. What Makes It Different:
You're not going to be doing this alone. You've got me, and you've got the other ladies doing it, so you'll have support and guidance built into the experience. The Power of Doing This Together Growth happens faster when we don’t do it alone. When we’re in community, with camaraderie and accountability, something shifts. Sometimes we’re the ones sharing, and other times we’re listening, but even when someone else is speaking, we often hear exactly what we need. Their words spark insights, reflections, and ideas we might never arrive at on our own. Many people try to grow by reading a book or doing a program in isolation, and while that can help, being in a shared space is different. The collective energy, the accountability, and the confidence that comes from learning alongside other women creates momentum. It’s motivating, grounding, and far more powerful than doing it by yourself. Two Ways to Participate Option 1: Self-Paced with Community
Option 2: VIP Group Coaching (by donation going to a women’s shelter)
Who Is This For?
If you want to set the year off intentionally rather than reactively, I invite you to jump into this. Pricing: Free or Donate to Women's Shelters I offer this completely free, and if free is what you can afford, then great, take that option. What I also love to do at this time of year is give back financially to women’s shelters. I support one locally here in North Vancouver, BC and another in Brantford, Ontario, my hometown. As a result, I’m including an optional donation option. There’s a suggested amount, but you’re invited to give whatever feels right for you. (You can etransfer or Paypal me a different amount at [email protected]. Every donation goes directly to supporting women’s shelters. When you donate you’ll be invited into the VIP Group Coaching. That's my gift to you:
You Don't Need to Be Ready Don't worry. You don't have to have your goals ready yet. Please don't, actually. You don't need a perfect plan. You don't need any plan. You just need the willingness to say, "Yes, I'm in. I'm coming." Join the 5-Day Reset Simple daily steps, supportive environment, fresh start, no stress, super doable at this time of year. Join for yourself. Invite a friend. Get a group of girls together and make it something that you do together. I'm really looking forward to starting the 5-Day Reset, since I haven't done it in three years. I'm excited to reopen this because of the energy and momentum it will give you, and the clarity you'll gain from taking these small steps. It's going to be so good. You have permission to not make a new year and a new you this year, just to do a simple reset. If you have any questions, reach out to my team: [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
If you're building a business, I have a very special Christmas gift for you. The gift arrives in 2026, and I'll reveal it shortly, but first, I want to share something.  December is a natural pause point for women in business and in high-level roles. It's a natural pause for our businesses: our clients may not need us, we may be looking to wrap up the year, reflect on the past year, and prepare for the next. We're thinking: What have we built? What have we learned? What have we navigated this year? At this point, you're probably closing loops, celebrating wins, and starting to imagine what's coming next. Even when things are going well, December invites these bigger questions: What do I want more of next year? How do I want success to feel? This is an intentional moment, a zoom out so we can look ahead with optimism. You Deserve Strong Support Women are often the planners, the connectors, the vision holders. We're the ones who make things happen and keep everything moving. In business, that means we have the leadership, the resilience, the adaptability. But it isn't about depletion. We shouldn't just be waiting for the holiday time to recoup and re-energize. It's really about recognizing how much capacity we have, how much capacity exists in us, and how much capacity we want moving forward. Strong women also deserve strong support, strong motivation, and strong inspiration. Giving to yourself is powerful. Christmas is about generosity and care. Sometimes the most meaningful generosity is directed inwards. We are leading, building, and creating, and we are in need of support as well. Where Have You Been Generous? Think about where you've been generous with your time, your energy, your leadership this year. Where might you choose to invest back into yourself? Maybe that's the gift you really need. We don't need another physical gift, another purse, another mug, another planner, another productivity tool. What really creates momentum? Three things:
Right now, clarity, confidence, and community, which of the three is the most exciting to you? Take a moment. What's your gut decision? The honest truth is you can be successful and still crave connection. You can be confident and still want a stronger circle of support. When you take ambition, your strength, skills, talents and gifts, and connect that with support, it's such a winning combination. The Power of Being in the Right Room For me, I just came back from the CAPS convention (the Canadian Association of Professional speakers) in Halifax. When I am in the right room, it expands my thinking, especially being in the high-income earners group. Those are my people, the people who understand the challenges I go through. You know that feeling when the right event, convention, or room sparks new confidence in you and creates new possibilities, and from that, energy and perspective. There's so much power in being surrounded by your people, especially with other women who are growing too and wanting more for themselves, wanting more success for the business, but also wanting more in life. There's a difference between consuming information (that we're all being bombarded with it) and actually being invested in an experience. Being in person matters for momentum, belief, energy, and resonance. My Gift to You That's why I want to go back to my roots. When I first started running my business, especially after my daughter was born. I was sick of surface-level networking and started the Dynamic Women community. I started with one location and grew to eight, running live events and in-person training. Then I moved online with COVID, and I'm ready to bring it back. I'm ready to recreate these special containers, special spaces that have intention, that have heart, and that are kick-butt in the information and the experience we have. The Women's Business Success Seminar Returns The very first one I ran was in Vancouver at Hycroft Manor, an Edwardian mansion. We were in the big ballroom with 70 women for a three-hour event. It was amazing. I kept running these events in North Vancouver, Vancouver, Burnaby, and Ontario. They are designed specifically for women building businesses who want to grow with clarity, confidence, and connection.  I brought it online and it was still magical. But recently I've been thinking: I want to get back to being in person and I don't want to do the big ones right now. What I want to do is small, intimate ones where we all sit around a table, and we get to share learn, engage and have an experience. It's designed to help you step into the next year (and the next quarter, the next month, the next day) with clear direction and stronger confidence in how you show up, where you have real connections with real, like-minded women, and the momentum from that event will carry you forward immediately. What Makes This Different This is an event where you're not just listening (speaker after speaker where you just take notes). You're engaged. With my background in teaching and curriculum development, I always make it where you're engaged with the material and the group. You're being reflective, you're sharing, you're connecting, so you'll leave with fresh perspective and new ideas, but renewed energy from being able to verbalize, to implement, to connect with others on what matters most to you. It's not hype, it's not hustle, it's not pressure. It's focused, grounded, and genuinely energizing. I invite you to attend as my guest. Here are the Event Details: When: January 8 (Thursday), two sessions on the same day Where: North Vancouver, near my home Capacity: Only 10 spots per session Investment: Normally $197, but use the special link to sign up here and your ticket is Diane's gift to you. Just cover the $25 Seat Deposit, and when you attend, you'll receive a book from the Dynamic Women® Secrets Series as your gift. There will be an online version later for those who aren't local. Make sure you sign up for the waitlist. Who Is This For?
You don't need to be ready. You don't need to have all your ducks in a row. You don't need a perfect plan. Just have some curiosity and optimism that you’re going to have a great time and get a lot out of it. Why Is This My Gift? Normally to attend these sessions costs $197 because it's three hours of my time and content. It's like group coaching, strategy and connection together in a beautiful boardroom. But I invite you to pick this up as your gift from me with the special discount code because you read my blogs. Can you bring a friend? If you think they are a good fit (if they have some of these things I've just listed), then share this with them and invite them to come. If you're not sure, reach out to me. Imagine these few intentional hours focused on growth, focused on clarity, focused on connection. It's going to be huge for you. A Powerful Leadership Move Choosing support is a powerful leadership move. Choosing connection is a catalyst for growth. That's how I've been able to move my business forward, by using connection with others, whether it be a coach, a business advisor, other women I collab with, or my clients.  What I want for you is to start the next chapter energized, confident, and supported. Thank you for being part of my world. I invite you to carry forward what resonated from last year and to step into what's next, because it's going to be so exciting. Get Your Ticket Now. The special discount has already been applied. Can't Make It In Person? Join the Waitlist for the online version. I hope you take me up on my invitation to come and hang out with me. Until next time, stay dynamic!
We are a couple of weeks into December, still a ways away from Christmas, but are you already starting to feel overwhelmed? I understand because we, as women, carry the majority of the holiday load. Frankly, we carry the majority of the mental load all year, and it's not because we want to. It's because it's expected, assumed, often invisible, and the only other people who get it are other women carrying this holiday load.  This is not about managing your calendar or finding more time in your day. It's your December Survival Guide, and I am your little elf here to support you so that you can actually feel good this season instead of overwhelmed. You deserve to feel good in December and at Christmas time, not just get through it or survive it. The Reality of December Most women move through December thinking, "I have to get it all done. Where's my list of things to do, my list of things that make magic for my kids, the list of places to go, the list of presents to buy?” There are so many things, and meanwhile, your inner world gets pushed aside, gets forgotten. There's no space for you. This is about reclaiming your calm, your joy, your sanity in a month that easily takes more than it gives. It's not about doing more. I'm not going to tell you any hacks about fitting more in. It's more about choosing differently. The Real Holiday Labor Load The real holiday labour load falls on women. Women take on so much of the emotional labour of the season: managing family dynamics, remembering traditions, making new traditions, maintaining harmony, managing everyone's mood. Women are three times more likely to report feeling overwhelmed by holiday responsibilities. This is why on Mother's Day, women just want to be left alone. We just want no one to need us. It'd be nice if people waited on us hand and foot, if we could just sip a cup of hot coffee or tea, read a book, do what we want to do. All of these facts reinforce something: your exhaustion. It's not personal, it's structural. It's based on how society has been and the expectations that fall on us. What Actually Causes December Overwhelm It's not the decorations (though we're the ones that put them up) or the dinners (though we're often the ones that make it). It's the invisible expectations:
This is where women lose themselves. The December Survival Framework Here's the strategy to help you navigate this month feeling grounded, not drained. 1. Choose the Experience You Want Most people ask, "What do I need to get done this month?" Instead, ask: What do I want December to feel like? Mine was magical and cozy (and with cozy goes calm). Here are some other answers: peaceful, simple, joyful, connected, warm, slow, playful. Let these feelings guide your choices, guide your yeses, and guide what you put in your calendars. 2. Do Less on Purpose Feeling good requires intentional subtraction. In order to feel good, we must intentionally subtract things from our list. I'm intentionally subtracting already in December. Last night, I chose to skip a holiday party and do dinner with my family. Today, I chose to not go to a networking event, but to write this. This intentional subtraction doesn't make you lazy, it makes you wise. Examples of Intentional Subtraction:
You can choose simplicity without choosing guilt. 3. Create a Grounding Ritual Do some sort of grounding ritual every single day at the start of the day to stabilize your entire month:
These small rituals help you regulate your nervous system and maintain peace and calm, so you can stay steady throughout the month. Why Women Struggle to Feel Good There are emotional roots: guilt, obligation, pressure to be the glue in the family, fear of disappointing others, avoiding conflict, and internalized responsibility. I can remember one Christmas, all this pressure for everything. People were complaining about going to church on Christmas Eve, complaining about what we were having to eat. The next morning, I was doing all this dinner prep by myself. I asked for help and no one jumped into action. I started to cry. I turned the stove off and went to my room. I needed a break, a moment where I released all the stress and pressure to make it wonderful. I decided, "Christmas will be what it is."  I came back out, had a real heart-to-heart with my family, and they stepped up. We made it a good day. We can break old family patterns. We maybe want to be that reliable one, that thoughtful one, that one that has everything together, but we don't have to be. Not only that, but we don't have to believe that rest or simplicity makes us selfish or that we don't have time for it, because we do, and we have to prioritize it. What Happens If You Don't If you continue to let the pressure build, let December overwhelm you:
The holidays don't need to feel like a performance. They should be about enjoying the moment and making a memory. You deserve a December that nourishes you, not empties you. Your Feel Good December Plan  Here are three simple, doable, powerful questions: 1. What's the feeling you want to lead with this month? Then make decisions based on that feeling. If it was magic, joy, peace, or calm, ask yourself: Is this thing going to help me get that? 2. What is one thing you're going to do less of? Where can you use strategic elimination or intentional subtraction? What can you take off your plate? 3. What is one ritual you're going to keep daily and weekly? What will help you stay grounded and nourished? These three things are your personal December Survival Guide and really your survival guide anytime you're entering a stressful time. Remember You don't have to earn your rest. You don't have to carry all the responsibility or the mental load. And you don't need a perfect holiday to have a meaningful one. You deserve a December that feels good, not overwhelming. Share this with a friend who needs to hear this message, so they can chill out a little bit and have a great December as well. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Today, I want to talk about how awesome it is to be afraid. Being fearful actually is awesome. Why?  Well, so many people focus on not wanting to be afraid or on how fear is holding them back. But what if fear was telling you that on the other side, there's going to be a great success? Would that make it more enjoyable? Would that give you something to look forward to? Now I'm not talking about the fear of a lion in front of us or the fear of going into a burning building. I'm not talking about danger fear. I'm talking about that fear we have where we're like, "Oh my gosh, I could never email that person and ask them for a coffee date. I could never cold call that customer I really want. I would never want to speak in front of people because I'm scared." Fear Allows Better Celebration Being afraid helps us celebrate better. I was at a workshop about ten years ago, and we were doing the arrow-breaking activity where you put the pointy end on your throat and the feather end on the wall and walk forward. It was quite fearful. A lot of people were even brought to tears in the amount of fear. They were shaking. They really didn't want to do it. Maybe that's how you feel when you do public speaking, too. I had set myself up to control my emotions. I was able to really get into my head and get through the breaking of the arrow, but i was also not very present in my body or in the moment. So what happened when I got to the other side of breaking my arrow? It was pretty anticlimactic. Other people were cheering when they did it. Other people were high-fiving. I almost had to fake that enthusiasm. I feel like I missed out because I didn't allow myself to feel the fear.  In public speaking, I get nervous before I talk. I get nervous before I lead a group of dynamic women. I get nervous and feel fearful and afraid sometimes when I make that big call, when I ask for that client. What I do is I feel the fear and do it anyway. You've probably heard that expression before. What Fear Tells Us What that does for me is it keeps me on my game. It tells me that what I'm doing is so important. It helps me to be prepared rather than be apathetic and not really care about the outcome. Every time I go and present, I think, "Oh, what's this fear telling me?" It's telling me…
The Fear-Celebration Ratio Here's the thing: If your fear is at a higher level, the celebration is going to be at that level. If your fear is at a lower level, the celebration feels at the same lower level. I'm not saying you need to increase your fear. What I'm saying is don't freak out, have the fear, and then do it. Feel the fear, do it anyway, and you'll get a bigger reward. I see this in my clients all the time. When something's easy, we're like, "Oh, whatever, no big deal." But if somebody else were in your shoes, they'd say, "Wow, if I did that, I'd be so scared." That reward you're going to get, that celebration you get, is going to be equal or even more as a reward to facing that fear. What You Need to Do  Get in action. Make it happen. But listen to what the fear is telling you first. Then when you get to the other side, and you've done whatever it is that you were fearful of, celebrate it. Reward yourself. That'll be the motivation for when you face another fear, because your inner self will reassure you saying, "You know what? There's going to be goodness on the other side." Plan Your Celebration Ahead of Time You also get to plan your celebration. For example, "When I give that big presentation, that night I'm going to plan to go out with my girlfriends and share a great meal." Or, "When I do the thing I’m afraid of, then I'm going to the spa." Have something there to pull you through that fear, to motivate you to continue. I hope you'll face it so that reward on the other side is just as juicy as the amount of fear that you had. If you do something and get over your fear and reward yourself, let me know. I'd love to hear about it at [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
We budget our money with spreadsheets, apps, categories, and more. But time? We spend it like it's completely unlimited. But what if we treated time like our most valuable currency?  I wanted to use the word "invest," instead of "spend" in the title because when we invest money, there's an expected return. Spending feels like squandering. There's no ROI. But I couldn’t use "invest" in the title because I didn't want you to think about investing money in stocks, bonds, and GICs. Time as Investment It’d be great if we stopped spending our time and instead invested it. We do that by allocating it, just like we might allocate our money in a budget. When we put our money into something, we're looking for:
Every hour of our day has a strong ROI if we use it wisely. If we invest our time, we can use it to make money, boost our energy, and build stronger relationships; but when we spend time, it will drain us. Asking if the way we use our time boosts or drains us:
You could stop reading right now and just take that as the point, because it's a different way of thinking. We shouldn't give our money to software we're not using or subscriptions we're not using. A lot of times we unconsciously allocate our time to things that really aren't beneficial. The Cost of Reactivity Entrepreneurs spend a lot of their time being reactive to situations, and context switching. Even right before I recorded this, I was jumping between tasks and was like, "Stop it. Stop waiting for the person to reply. Set up a time to actually talk to them." That reactivity and context switching are actually causing entrepreneurs to lose 32% of their week. That's like a third of your time wasted that could be used more efficiently. It often hurts for us to waste our money, but it doesn't always hurt for us to waste our time. We don't see it in the same way. We're not just going to throw our money away, but we throw away our time on things like doom-scrolling or procrastination. Time budgeting, just like financial budgeting, helps you to have these five benefits:
Why Aren't People Doing This? 1. Guilt of Saying No: We'll say no to something financial because we know we maybe can't afford it or don't want to put our money towards something, and most of the time we're not embarrassed by that. We get to choose a luxury vehicle or something reliable and price conscious. We're not going to apologize to people buying one over the other. But we have a lot of guilt in saying no to something when it involves our time. If we have time, we feel like we should give it freely. People don't necessarily know how much money we have, so they're not always asking us to give that freely, but sometimes they make their own judgment on how much time we have and how much time we can give. 2. Thinking that Being Busy Equals Being Valuable: If we're thinking about being busy, we give away our time. Instead, we can think about our time being valuable, then we will invest our time on what matters to reach our goals and build relationships. 3. Reactivity Disguised as Responsibility: "I gotta deal with this. I gotta deal with this," rather than checking in and being like, "Is this a priority for me? Is this important for me?" I heard a funny expression on a show: "Not my sink, not my dishes." You don't have to wash someone else's dishes if it's not your sink. We're often put into situations where we give so much of our time to help others without actually seeing the value. The Problems When Time Is Ignored 
What Can You Do?  If you know that time is a resource, just like money is a resource, figure out how much time you have. 1. Assess Your Time: How much of my time is flexible that I can decide what happens with it? How much of my time is constricted? Like if I'm at a nine-to-five, from nine to five I only have the hour in the middle of the day that's mine, or I have the start of the day that's mine, but then I have kids at this hour. Figure out how much you have. That's usually what a financial advisor does, right? They figure out how much money you have, then you can invest it wisely. 2. Do an Audit: Look at last week and ask yourself: Where did I spend my time, and where did I invest my time, and where did I waste my time? Invest, spend, and waste. Categorize each activity towards things that are leaking your energy, draining your energy, or giving you a really high ROI. 3. Optimize High ROI Activities: Maybe an area is good, but could it be better? Could it be better if you give more time or even less time? Is there a difference between a three-hour hangout with a friend and a one-hour hangout? Could you do the one-hour hangout more often? Is three hours too much? Could you meet in the middle rather than driving the full distance? Would that be supportive of your time? 4. Reallocate Saved Time: Find one spot where you can save some time, then make sure you're allocating it to something that's a value to you. Don't find an hour and then allocate it to doom-scrolling, Netflix, or procrastinating. Actually do something that moves your needle forward and helps you achieve your goals and be happier. Invest your hours like they matter, because they do. The moment you start treating your time as currency, everything from your confidence to your results begins to shift. When you choose where your time goes, you take ownership of the life you’re creating. Until next time, stay dynamic!
(Sidenote: This blog is based on a video I recorded 11 years ago when my business was really young and I had two kids under three. Life was a very different kind of busy.)  I have felt jealousy and envy. Many times. How about you? Have you ever looked at a competitor, a colleague, a stranger online, or even someone close to you and felt that tight little pull in your chest? Think of a person right now you’ve felt a little envious of. What triggered it? Maybe it was… • Something they achieved • Something they bought • An opportunity they landed • A relationship • Their energy • Their looks • A part of their personality • Their lifestyle • Their job For me, it has been all kinds of things at different points. Years ago, I remember noticing someone on social media doing work similar to mine - coaching. And it hit me hard. I loved how she was running her business. I loved her confidence, her consistency, her presence. Then came the drop. “Why can’t I do that? Why isn’t it happening for me? That’s how I want things to look.” Have you felt that? The mix of admiration, frustration, and self-judgment. It is not fun to admit. But it is human. And social media makes it even harder. We’re no longer comparing ourselves to people in our real lives. We’re comparing ourselves to thousands of highlight reels. Perfect lighting. Perfect captions. Perfect timing. One scroll, and suddenly you’re doubting your progress, your pace, your decisions, even your identity. Even when we know it’s curated, our brains still treat it like the full picture.  During all this, my business advisor said something that snapped me back to reality. She reminded me that the woman I was comparing myself to was further along in her business, wasn’t married, had no kids, and had endless hours to pour into her brand. Meanwhile, I had two kids under three, a growing business, and a few precious part-time hours to build an empire. No wonder it didn’t look the same. No wonder the timelines were different. That perspective grounded me. It reminded me that context matters. Life stage matters. The weight you’re carrying matters. You cannot compare your full, busy, beautiful real life to someone else’s single-focus schedule or their polished online presence. Two Ways to Respond Some people shut down when jealousy hits. They think, “Well, someone already did it. Too late for me.” Or even, “They took my idea.” The other option is to use it. - To let it spark something. - To think, “Thank you for showing me what I want.” Back then, I didn’t choose the spark right away. I got annoyed. I fell into comparison. My saboteur sharpened its claws. It slowed me down. But looking back, most of the people I envied had more years in the game, more support, or just a clearer runway. And I, meanwhile, was doing my best in a season that required gentleness, not power drive. I just couldn’t see it at the time. The Mirror Lesson At one point, I opened up to someone about how embarrassed I felt about my jealousy. The advice was simple, and it stuck with me. People show up in your life for two reasons. They either hold up a mirror and show you something you need to see, or they’re someone you’re meant to help. This person was definitely holding up a mirror. And once I saw that, the whole thing shifted.  She wasn’t ahead of me. She wasn’t better than me. She was simply reflecting a version of me I hadn’t stepped into yet. And if I were telling this story today, I’d add one more thing. Sometimes people appear in your life to wake you up. To shake you out of autopilot. To make you look straight at the dream you’ve been tiptoeing around. Your Turn The next time jealousy hits, don’t judge yourself. It’s normal. Just don’t let it drag you down. Don’t let your inner saboteurs claw at your confidence. Let the feeling fuel you instead. Thank the person silently for the clarity. You don’t have to call them and say, “Thanks for sharing the photo of your new car” or “Thanks for sharing your flashy new website.” Just acknowledge the lesson and return to yourself. Then ask, “Now what am I going to do with this information?” Envy and jealousy like other emotions are just information. Let it raise your game. And let it point you toward what you truly want. Because envy usually shows up when you’re ready for your next level.
I know there are people right now who feel drained, tired, flat, and experience friction in life. So I'm pulling back the curtain on my one-woman show. I want to share my journey with you and how it's unexpectedly giving me more energy and happiness. Even though it's a bit of a stretch and honestly a little scary, it's recharging me in a way that no business strategy ever could. This blog isn't about time management or self-care because what I've discovered is that true energy doesn't just come from rest. It comes from deep alignment, expression, and this coaching term: “resonance”. Meaning to be in energy. Side Note: Join Behind the Curtain I started a Facebook group called Behind the Curtain with Diane Rolston. It's free. Jump in, and I'm going to share more tidbits, the actual nuts and bolts of me doing the new woman show. I might even come to you like a board of directors and ask questions I'm not sure about. You'll get other secrets and tips and be the first to know when the preview of the one-woman show is going to happen.  Resonance as Real Fuel There are tasks I have to do in business and life that I don't want to do that I can't even delegate to my virtual assistants. They can rob my energy. In comparison, when I do things that are more aligned to what I'm currently needing, or more aligned to my values, it gives me energy. It's this lightness, this bouncy feeling, and it helps me stay true to who I am, or at this moment, who I feel called to be, and what I feel called to say. When you do what resonates with you, something in alignment that honours your values, you're going to feel energy, ease, and flow. It's about choosing to do these things, not just what impresses people, not just what you should do, not just what pleases others, and definitely not things that dishonor your values. When you actually do things in alignment for you, your energy doesn't just grow or show up, it multiplies. My Counseling Session Revelation I was in the middle of a counseling session (I'm doing some counseling to clear out and process old emotions around my dad's death, trauma over the years, just things you keep pushing down). I'd been feeling down about some health stuff, and then I started talking about this one-woman show, and I got animated. These are ways you show you’re in resonance and feeling that alignment:
That's when I realized, "Wow, I'm in resonance right now." My counsellor said, "Whoa. That was a shift." This was the realization: I need to be more in this. I'm in the right place, and it's good for me. True energy doesn't come from just doing more (we can always do more, we can always add to our schedules, please don't). It comes from doing what aligns with your values, your purpose, and your joy. If you don't know your values, send me an email: [email protected]. I can do a values session where you find your values, see if you're honouring or dishonouring them, and put a plan in place so you can feel this energy all the time. Resonance is that feeling of "this fits, this is me, this is where I'm supposed to be." When your actions match your values, you create energy —like throwing kerosene on a fire —rather than pouring water on it, taking away its power and energy. Dissonance: The Opposite Dissonance is the opposite. It's hard, like pushing a rock up a hill. There's friction; it's draining, and you dread it —maybe even avoid it.  When you're doing something that deeply matters to you, like my creative work on this one-woman show, I can work for hours and still feel alive. Maybe you've felt that way:
When you're out of alignment, even the smallest task feels heavy. The worst part is you start trying to get yourself to do more, do it better, thinking something's wrong with you, but really you're just out of alignment and out of resonance. The Science Behind It Studies show that when you live in alignment with your core values, you experience higher motivation, stronger emotional resilience, and 20% more daily energy. When I talk about this and people ask, "What's new?" and I say, "I'm writing a one-woman show," I get giddy and excited. It's like, I'm sharing that I'm going on vacation." Alignment isn't a mindset trick like saying 10 affirmations. It's actually biological. When your actions match your purpose, your nervous system relaxes, your creativity increases, and you restore energy while doing the work. If you're in dissonance and energy is being drained, it's hard, negative, you dread it, and your nervous system gets tense like waiting in a really long lineup to pay a bill, or doing taxes or another task you hate. The Benefits of Resonance
 This is what I've been experiencing as I write my show. Yes, there are hard times. I'm not inherently a writer. I don't know how to write scripts. I'm learning dialog. My writing coach keeps saying, "Diane, you just wrote a great speech. Now we have to bring it to the stage." I'm having to learn and rewire my brain, but this fulfillment creates energy. Rather than feeling like I have a learning gap, I'm like a sponge. Why Alignment Feels Hard It's not always easy to say yes to things. In your business or life, there are things that create resonance and things that create dissonance. 1. Society's Expectations: Maybe you have a nine-to-five or a business different from your hobbies or passions. It goes against what society thinks we should be spending our time and money on. I've had clients say, "Diane, I don't want a promotion. I don't want to build my business. Is it wrong that I just want to be at home and make crafts with my kids and feed them grilled cheese sandwiches?" I reassure them, "No, not if that’s your dream and ideal life." All the tasks we do, all the ways we choose to spend our time, and the goals we have don't need to be what society deems as success. We shouldn’t say yes to things that don't match our values, but we do it to keep the peace, keep up with the Joneses, because we feel we should, or because others around us are doing it. 2. Staying in Obligations That Don't Fit: I remember being part of a networking group with amazing people, but 60-70% served the senior market. My business advisor asked, "Is this serving your business?" I said, "Well, no, but they're good people." He said, "How often are you seeing your friends?" and "You don't need to stay in a group that no longer serves you." 3. Confusing Productivity with Purpose: We're doing more, but feeling less. We're in less resonance, less energy, and have less motivation. As overachieving women, we override our inner signals saying "Don't do this." We say yes to things that don't serve us and push through even when something feels off. Your body and your energy always tell the truth when you're out of alignment. Have you been invited somewhere and hesitated to say yes? That's you saying you don't want to go. If you wanted to go, your energy would be like "Yes, yes." I was speaking to a theater about their artists’ hub program. At first, I thought, "Is it too much work? Too much commitment? Am I already so far in my business that I'd be around younger or newer people?" But when I got off that call, I was so excited. I was like, "Who can I tell?" So I knew that was a yes. If you hesitate or start to feel exhausted, irritated, or lack motivation, it's not in alignment. The Cost of Misalignment When you're in misalignment, in dissonance, it doesn't just drain energy, it dulls your joy. I've seen clients come to me living in black and white, but when you live in alignment, in resonance, your color comes back. Like the start of The Wizard of Oz when everything's in black and white, then all of a sudden comes to colour. High-achieving women, successful women, will work harder when they feel unhappy or that something's missing, but it doesn’t help they just feel emptier and more tired. You get to a point where you don't even know why you started. You don't have clarity. You slowly start living a version of success that only looks good on paper but doesn't feel good inside. That's why I had to leave corporate. My life looked so good on paper, and that's why I held on for so long. I was measuring life according to success - and it looked good. I wasn't measuring my life according to satisfaction, or even giving satisfaction, resonance, or alignment any space because I didn't know about them. Your Alignment Check
That little voice, your alignment, the resonance, the energy, that's a compass for where you should go. You don't have to have it all figured out. Just take the next step. The more you listen to it, the more natural energy and joy you're going to create, even if it's just "I'd like to paint a picture" or "I want to organize my closets." If those things bring you joy, happiness, resonance… amazing. Go do them. When you honour what resonates in your life and work, things feel easy, not a grind. There's that flow. Join Me One more invite to join me in the Behind the Curtain Facebook group. If you want to explore this topic more, email me: [email protected]. Let's talk about getting you into more resonance. If you have a few questions you want to run by me, I'm doing a Mastermind Q&A session on November 14, from 9 to 11 AM PST. It's a mastermind where you ask and I answer, or you can bring your goals, and we can strategize and map out the next steps. Final Thoughts I've learned that energy isn't something you chase or schedule. It's cultivated, it's birthed, and it grows through alignment and being in resonance. The more you live, work, and create in resonance with your truth, the more energy and fulfillment you'll have, not only in your own life but to lead others. That's how I'm gaining energy right now, writing my one-woman show. I just got accepted to the artists’ program at a local theatre, and I'm so pumped. I'm doing something in resonance and giving me energy, but also something that scares me a little, stretches me a little, but at the end of the day feels so deeply aligned. I want the same for you. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Every successful woman eventually faces fear, but not the kind that stops you. The kind that signals growth. A lot of times, we think of it as a negative thing, but it's actually saying you are expanding. Right now, I'm doing something completely new: writing and performing a one-woman show. Honestly, it's equal parts terrifying and thrilling. As I got off a recent Zoom meeting with my one-woman-show coach, it made me think. Whether you're scaling your business, stepping out on stage as a speaker, or finally launching that next big idea, product, or book, growth always comes with a little fear.  In this blog, I'm sharing how high-achieving women like us can use fear as fuel, not a stop sign. We're going to use it as a way to step into bigger confidence, bigger creativity, and more impact in the world. The Comfort Crossroad Even though I've spoken on hundreds of stages to massive audiences and published podcasts, books and blogs, writing this one-woman show then performing it as an actor putting feels raw, personal, and it's stretching me. Every successful woman hits this crossroad where comfort feels safe and nice, but it also feels small, and you're craving something more. That was the spark I needed for writing my own one-woman show. I needed that expansiveness. For women entrepreneurs and leaders, growth doesn't just come from more strategy, more work, more hours. It comes from courage, and it's going to give you some really great stories. If you've been playing it safe recently, this is your reminder. Your next level is waiting on the other side of what scares you. Fear Is a Sign of Expansion Fear means you're in new territory. As you start to leave your bubble of comfort into something new, your inner self says, "Danger. Fear means stop. Fear means we're in trouble." But actually, you can't grow and expand without fear. Fear is telling us we're going out of that zone, but you're safe, you're okay. Just because it can feel scary doing the show, and it's an industry I don't know, it doesn't mean I'm failing. It means I'm expanding. When you're growing your muscles and there's a little pain, it doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It means there's been growth and progress. The show terrifies me in the best way.
But that's how I know this is the right next thing: I care, and it's helping me feel alive rather than apathetic or complacent, which happens when high achievers reach that peak of success. Fear is proof you're stepping into unfamiliar territory, and it’s good because that's where the next level lies. The Science Behind Fear Did you know that moderate fear actually increases your focus, creativity, and motivation? When you're in that heightened state, it pushes you into higher performance. You know that feeling right before you have to be “on”, or right before an interview?  Being scared is just the next step. Rather than being a red flag, it's actually a green light saying, "Go, move forward. This is good for you" because it's building your confidence mindset and it's leadership development. You're learning to regulate that fear, building emotional mastery and resilience. I'm not saying that tomorrow I'm going to fill a 700-person theater and pitch to Netflix. I'm doing the steps that make sense for where I'm at. Meeting Your Inner Critic When I first sat down to start writing part of my show, my inner critic was super loud. "Who are you to do this? What if it's not good? How are you going to fill a theater?" Then I realized this voice shows up when I'm doing something new, something that matters, something that stretches me. Those saboteurs start barking and saying stupid things that aren't true, but we can pull some truth nuggets from them.
Every time I get on stage, I still feel a bit of that fear. A speaking colleague told me yesterday, "Before I get on stage, every time I feel a little bit nervous." Feel the fear and do it anyway. Fear isn’t a stop sign. It's just a signal that you're standing on the edge of your next breakthrough. The Benefits of Facing Fear
My One-Woman Show Journey I had this spark after seeing a fellow Canadian Association of Professional Speakers member do her keynote in a theater. It seemed more as a show than a talk. Another member went on tour and built cool promo assets. At the Global Speakers Summit in Bali, one speaker wore costumes and developed this world. I thought, "This is exactly what I want to do." Since then, I've taken a one-person show class, and two writing courses. This week I spoke to a local theater and will probably join their artists' community for a year. Hopefully late January, early February, I'll do my first Show Preview. If you want more updates about my one-woman show journey, join my Facebook group. I’d very much appreciate your support.  Why We Avoid Fear
Many high-achieving women unconsciously trade expansion for comfort, especially with kids, aging parents, and everything else. But safety and stagnation can feel almost identical. The Problems If We Stay Comfortable
Permission to Pursue What Scares You I got to the point where I was talking with my business coaches about the next offering, what I'm marketing, what I'm selling. I said, "I don't know. What I want to do is just write my show. I don't want to do all those other things right now." Permission granted for me to write my show and perform it, and for you to do the same. Your Challenge Don't wait. Do the thing that scares you. Send the pitch, raise your rates, share the post, make the video. Say yes to an opportunity that makes your stomach flip. Invite a new friend out. Go on a date. Take your spouse on a date. Take a class you've been wanting to take: painting, music, dance, whatever it may be. Fear isn't failure. It's feedback that you're evolving, and we want to evolve to be satisfied in life. For every entrepreneur, high achiever, and leader reading this blog, your next level of confidence and creativity is waiting on the other side of discomfort. Final Thoughts Remember, fear isn't failure. It's feedback that you're expanding because you can't evolve and stay comfortable at the same time. That's where the magic happens. Fear doesn't mean you're off track. It means you're alive, awake, and in motion. Do that thing that scares you, not because you're fearless, but because you're ready for what's next, and you want that growth. Growth will always ask for just a little bit of fear, and that's how you know it's worth it. If this message spoke to you, let me know. Send me a message: [email protected] or on your favorite social platform. Share this with another powerful woman who's ready to grow, or who wants more courage. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you ever looked back on something you did in the past and thought, “Who was I then? How was I so confident, yet so naive—or so new and fresh at what I was doing?” The truth is, you achieved it because you decided to be confident—or whatever quality you needed at that moment. Your identity drives your success, habits, energy, visibility, and results.  Because you don’t get what you want. You get what you believe you are. And that’s what we’re diving into today: confidence and identity shifts for female entrepreneurs. The Chicken and the Egg Do you become confident because you’ve done the things, or do you first decide to be confident and then achieve? In high school, I decided I’d be the graduation MC. My mom said, “I don’t understand how you could ever do that.” But I thought, I’ve never done it… I’ll just step into the role. Being naive meant I had fewer expectations. I didn’t need to know how to do it or even expect a great result. I just gave it a try and loved it. Same thing with rugby. As a rookie varsity kicker with everyone watching, I had to walk up like I was confident. At that level, every kick could win or lose the game. So I became the person who would do well and thankfully, I kicked 7 for 7 in that first university game. Your Reflection Point As you read this, ask yourself - Where can you choose to be more confident? - Where can you be more of who you want to be (the person who wins)? I’m going to share the benefits, obstacles, and problems if ignored and a call to action you can implement in your life, business, or career. From Faking It to Owning It This idea that you can actually be the person who does something, who wins, who's confident before you achieve it. That's the whole idea of faking it till you make it. But instead of faking it, you're going to actually own that quality. Whatever you need to do to be able to own that quality, it's actually going to help you more so than actually doing the task, because it's going to help you to get into a place of ‘being’ when you go to do the ‘doing’. The Benefits
A Quick Fact: Identity-based habits (who you see yourself as) are three times more likely to stick than outcome-based goals. Believing "I am a healthy person" works better than "I will do healthy habits." Believing in who you are matters way more than the plan of what to do. Many clients say, "I just don't know why I'm not motivated to do these things," or "I feel like an imposter." These feelings happen even as we reach new levels of success. But if you anchor into who you believe you are—and act from that identity—you’ll see greater results. The Obstacles 1. Waiting to Feel Ready: A client once told me, “I don’t feel like an author.” The funny part? She’d already published a book. Another said, “I’ll launch my program after a few more courses.” I reminded her, “If I booked you for a talk tomorrow, you could deliver eight workshops right now.” She laughed and said, “You’re right. 2. Letting Old Stories Define New Opportunities: We focus on actions and outcomes instead of who we are being.
If you’ve never done something before, look at other times you faced fear and succeeded. Transfer that strength forward. 3. Playing Small to Seem Relatable or Likable: High-achieving women… this one’s for you. We often play small to avoid making others feel insecure or jealous. We downplay compliments: “Oh, this old thing?” But doing that hides your brilliance. You don’t need to dim your light to make others comfortable. The Problems If Ignored 
 One Last Story I have been very grateful that I have been given some naive confidence at some parts in my life. I've also been very blessed to have a mother and a father, who believed in me so much. My Mom would say, "You can do it." I would be in times in my life where I'd lack confidence, saying, "I can't do this." And then I'd change my thoughts, "No, but mom says I can. I don't know how, but mom believes I can, therefore I can." I've just stepped into that false confidence, almost that inflated-by-somebody-else confidence, and I've stepped up. Still, I’ve had moments where I downplayed my expertise, stayed quiet, or acted like a student instead of a leader. Even though other times, I stepped up and showed who I truly am. It's not always easy. I get it. It's not always easy to be confident. But could you pick that you are going to be the woman who wins? Can you? Someone's got to win. So could it be you? It totally could be. Your Call to Action I want you to finish this line. Maybe "win" or "confident" aren't words for you. But if you were to finish the statement, "I am the woman who..." and you add in an adjective. Is it…
"I am the woman who..." How would you fill that in? I'm really curious. Let me know. Email me: [email protected], or comment below. What would it be like if, after you made that statement, "I am the woman who...," you started acting like her today? Not once it's proven, not once you say, "Oh, okay, I am a woman who's confident because I did X, Y, Z," but just decide that you're going to be it. I promise you that if we spent a little time together, I could probably find many instances where you have been these things, and we could easily transfer them over, because honestly, waiting for the actions to happen is going to be much harder than just deciding today to be that woman. Identity precedes action. You got this! If you haven't yet, share this with a friend. The next bunch of blogs that I have coming up are bolder. They're more powerful. I was in this energy for a while of really wanting to speak to you in those moments of obstacle and hardship and overwhelm and not feeling like yourself and things not going your way. Now we're on the up. Now we're in this area of more boldness, more power, more being unapologetic, stepping into that motivation, that inspiration to get you moving towards your goals. I just brought on a few new clients, though I do have two more spots for one-on-one coaching clients. If this is something that you have been pondering, or you're curious about, email me: [email protected] and let's have a chat. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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