Are you focusing on the right things to bring you fulfillment and happiness?
We’re in the fifth month of 2022. Time has really flown so fast!
How has it been for you? Good? Rushed? Hard?
Let me share with you FIVE steps that will help make the rest of your 2022 happy and successful. These are the same steps that I share with my clients and I also follow in my own life. These are what have worked for me and I see working for female business leaders.
What will actually make you happy in 2022?
Did what you did in 2021 make you happy, feel fulfilled, and satisfied? This is a decision that you need to make for yourself.
What I often see happening is that people are choosing what society is marketing to them.
What are the things you feel society is marketing to you that will make you successful?
With my clients, we look at all 10 areas of life. This is something you can do, too. By doing this, we can really start to figure out what it is that YOU want? It's not what everyone else is forcing you to like.
We have a choice. But the sad thing is, so many people just go with the flow. So many people don't put an actual intention into… “What do I want for 2022?”
Maybe they pick a resolution. Maybe they pick some outrageous goal. That's great! However, it's not going to bring you fulfillment. I've worked with a client who with two other people built and sold a company for $75 million. His cut was $25 million. He was not satisfied. He was not happy at the end of that time.
It's sad. He could have bought anything. He could have had anything, but the true contentment and fulfillment, he couldn't buy. The sad thing is he didn't know what he needed.
This is the five-step process that I take my clients through that can really help you to know that for the rest of 2022, you're going to be focused on the things that will make you happy and feel content.
Step 1: Evaluate where you've been
It’s an evaluation of:
Most of the time, the mistake is that people only focus on the TOP milestones or achievements rather than looking really deep into:
The other mistake is not looking at both sides, the being and the doing, because if we only look at the doing (only the achievements and outward success), and not who we’re being then we miss the shifts in mindset, perspectives, and habits.
Acknowledging that will help you to be more successful in 2022.
Step 2: Have clarity on all 10 areas of life.
Many times people just set goals in life and business. But the thing is, business/work/career is only one of 10 areas. So if you're trying to balance work and life, life is always going to be heavier, but we so often put more time, energy, money, stress and focus on the work area.
You need to have clarity on what you want in all areas of life. Not just what you want, but what's ideal. If you do this process by yourself, you will succumb to limiting beliefs to saboteurs. You need to have someone go through this process with you so you get clarity on what you actually want in a way that's ideal, rather than just a way that's:
Step 3: Start creating a plan
Once you've evaluated where you've come from and you've taken the golden nuggets from that, and you have clarity on what you want in all 10 areas, the next piece is to start creating a plan.
Also, what I love to do with my clients is to look at which goals are dynamic goals, meaning you focus on one goal, and it helps your other goals to happen as well.
Why do we do that? Less stress, less energy, and less money needed. You can have many goals happen at the same time.
Step 4: You need to get into action
How is getting into action helping you to actually be happy in 2022? Because when we are in action on our plan, our goals, our desires, whose agenda are we fulfilling? OUR own agenda. YOUR agenda.
The problem is you're probably a very kind, generous, giving person who likes helping others. If you are not in action on your own plan, guess whose plan ends up in your calendar? Guess whose goals end up in your schedule book? Guess whose tasks end up being done by you? Other people’s!
Plus perfectionism, procrastination, saboteurs, they all come in. They can all stop you.
Part of step four is helping you to break down your goals into bite-sized pieces that are super easy for you to 150% attain. If you know no matter what, you're going to be able to achieve these things, it's going to be so much easier and so much more beneficial to you being happy and reaching your success in 2022.
Step 5: Accountability
This is the one that people forget. This is the one that people don't put into place and this is why women come to me and say, “I'm just not achieving my goal.” Or I meet people and year after year after year, they have the same exact goal they're just not reaching.
It’s not just simple accountability, like telling your friend you’re committing to do something. It’s being accountable to someone who's actually willing…
How will these steps actually make you happy?
Because when you're focused on the things you want to do, you have accountability for it, and you have someone cheering you on, you're more likely to achieve your goals.
That's my five-step process to get you happier in 2022 because you're actually going to be going after the goals that YOU want. You're going to be achieving things you internally desire, and not in just a realistic way, but in an ideal way, in that bigger way of what you want things to be like.
Please, please, please, please. Don't just let 2022 roll on because no matter what, time will go by. No matter what, you will be influenced by society and by others. Please do these five steps to be able to focus on what makes you the happiest and helps you to be able to move forward.
If you want to learn more about how to do this faster and easier together, schedule an initial consultation with me here.
In my previous blog, I talked about the three things that could be holding you back and causing you to struggle alone.
Now, let's see the three options that you have when you realize you’re trying to do it all yourself:
Option 1: Just keep doing everything yourself
You may choose to do this because you don’t feel you can invest the money to get help or there are tasks you can do faster yourself. But what I often see happen is that people end up suffering from procrastination because when you don't know how to do something, it SLOWS you down. Or when you have some limiting beliefs, perfectionism causes you NOT to do it, or your lack of experience means it takes you so much MORE time.
You might not be able to get a project off the ground, or work through it because you just can’t figure it out. This is why many podcasts don’t get published, businesses don’t get started or new products launched. This can even come into your life with not getting the reno done or your health goals met. If you do figure it out, the next challenge is not running out of time to get it done, like a proposal or a bid, or complete a contract.
An example of this is how many unfinished written books are there? I'm guessing millions. This does not include the ones that were abandoned because they were terrible. There are people who have a book, project, movie or a song in their soul and they don't get it out there because they're trying to do it all themselves. I received a call for coaching from a woman who couldn’t get her book done on her own. Even though she sat on her ideas for years, with coaching and accountability she had it written in 8 weeks.
This reminds me of going skydiving. When I signed up, they asked if I wanted to go by myself or do it with someone else. I didn’t need to be an expert at skydiving and yet, I can’t do it by myself. So I was willing to have someone strapped to my back who's going to make it happen for me. It was the fastest, easiest, and least expensive route. It was also the least stressful of the two options. It helped me to reach my goal of skydiving in a very short amount of time.
I wonder in your life:
So that's the first option: keep going it alone, but end up not doing it or it being hard.
Option 2: Hire someone to do the work for you
I know not everyone can hire, but there are lots of options out there.
I have hired people to set up my podcast and get it launched. I've hired people to do graphic design work for me. Those are not my core competencies. It was money well invested. Notice I didn’t say spent because I know I’d get a return on it.
Even if what they do doesn’t bring you money, it can save you time, energy and money by not making costly mistakes and in the speed at which experts can execute their craft. PLUS, it frees you up to do more income generating activities - thus increasing your profit.
This also will help you to be able to move forward faster.
I know that a lot of you would love to be able to have someone in the third option, to work alongside you.
Option 3: Have someone work alongside you
The benefit of someone working alongside you is they can SHOW you, so you can increase your skills and talents. When they show you and then you have the experience.
For example, I didn't know at first how to publish a book. I had someone walk alongside me and show me what to do. Then I was able to turn around and share that with my team member who then was able to publish the next book for my business.
Having someone work alongside you is such a great opportunity.
Do you want someone to tell you when you have broccoli in your teeth? A mentor, coach, or advisor - can point out that to you. They will let you know about mistakes that are on the horizon or if your mindset or limiting beliefs are holding you back. When your limiting beliefs are processed and you have the tools to deal with them in the future, you can then move the knowledge into any area of your life.
If you bring someone in to work alongside you, like a coach, a consultant, or advisor, you have two options:
Continual: You can have them help you over time with weekly sessions, bi-weekly sessions, monthly sessions, whatever it may be. Over time, you work through the things that are holding you back.
If you want to have support over time, then you don’t have to run your life, your business, your career all by yourself. It’s like boxing and having someone in your corner, ready to support you, ready to help you, ready to wipe off the sweat and give you encouragement and to tell you where to throw your next punch. Then coaching in a monthly capacity, where we do bi-weekly coaching with emailing between sessions is a really great option for you.
Intensive or Immersive: With this option, you have someone with you for one set period of time, like 3 or 5 hours. You're with them to build your experience or to go through a process. You can have them thinking for you, writing for you, creating for you and strategizing for you in the moment.
The beauty of this experience is that in this short, yet powerful time you can accomplish so much really quickly. Since you're with them they can bust through any limiting beliefs that come up. It then empowers you to be able to transfer that knowledge, skill, experience, and better mindset into the next situation.
If you want to go the route of immersive support, then a VIP day is really ideal for you. Some reasons why clients come to me for this:
I trust you now see, after not one but two blogs, how going it alone is costing you. My invitation for you is to bring me on your team either on a continual basis or with a VIP Day. Not sure which way is best for you to reach your goals? Let’s chat. Schedule a call with me and let’s see how we can work together.
If you are one of those high-achieving, Type A, smart, and successful women, ask yourself these questions:
This could be because you’re doing it all yourself. Or maybe, you KNOW that you can’t do it all yourself, and you have support, but doing things yourself is still affecting you in ways you didn’t realize.
This is one of the common mistakes or missed opportunities that I see in women that I’ve met.
Who is going it alone?
It's usually the women who are most capable. It's also women who don't feel like they're enough and then asking for help would just confirm that they aren't excelling in every area.
It’s also solopreneurs, entrepreneurs and small business owners. A lot of times it’s the women in high-up positions in the corporate world.
They believe that they need to be a lone wolf… that they need to do it alone. But the thing is, women are meant to be in a group.
We're meant to be in a community with others. If you look at the stories of successful people, it came from support from others. It came from a team.
Why do we keep trying to be a Superwoman?
Most of us suffer from Superwoman syndrome, where not only do we have to be amazing in our career, but now we feel pressure to be amazing wives, amazing sisters, amazing friends, amazing moms, and to also volunteer, leave a legacy, etc.
It's ridiculous. I keep having to check myself by asking, “Am I trying to do too much?” But what I'm noticing is that people are not only trying to be a superwoman, where you try to do everything and be awesome in every area, but now we're trying to be superheroes, where we want to be awesome in every area and with every title, but we now also will save everyone in the process.
You might disagree and say that you’ve hired people and you’ve got a team around you, but then:
Here are the three things that could be holding you back and causing you to struggle alone:
1. Your skills and talents
You are a talented woman and can figure things out, but you don’t have specific training in certain areas like accounting, funnel building or investing. I have coached women who don’t know how to make a financial budget. I've coached women who don't know how to do simple things with technology. They try to do it themselves by spending time trying to figure it out, watching YouTube, buying programs when it would have served them to hire someone to do it for them. Even if they did figure it out, the time used was more than an expert and the results were often not as good. Plus, did they even enjoy doing it? More than likely, not. Their time would have been better used on their core competencies and income producing activities.
2. Our lack of experience
How can you step up to do something when you haven't had experience doing it? For example, closing a big deal, speaking on stage, or firing someone. So yes, you can figure it out. Yes, you can fake it till you make it. But that can be super stressful. It can be harder than it needs to be. Having a mentor or coach walk you through it, give you tips on what you need to do or watch out for and support you is crucial to your growth and success.
3. Our limiting beliefs
The saboteur. The Gremlin. The shadow. Whatever you want to call it. It’s that negative self-talk and when we are alone it can circle around in our heads until we believe it. That then changes our thoughts and actions. Slowing us down or stopping us in our tracks. This is where having others around us is integral to cheer us on, call us on our BS and push us towards our goals.
These are the things that are holding us back from moving forward. The first two are kind of simple. We could hire someone who has the skills and talents that we don't have, or we're not willing to learn. We should hire people who have experienced things that we want to be able to experience so that they can teach us.
But what happens when it comes down to limiting beliefs?
When you try to do it all yourself, you don't have someone to point things out to you to ask you the questions that help you come up with the solutions.
As Les Brown said, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” We can walk around our whole day with broccoli in our teeth or a piece of toilet paper on our shoe. It's not until someone else points it out or until later in the day that we finally see ourselves in the mirror and we’re mortified and wonder, “How long did I go through life, not realizing that?” How many instances with others did I mess up because I didn't know about the negative thing that was affecting me?
Since we can have these three things that hold us back, it's really important that we don't try to do it all ourselves.
In my next blog, I will walk you through your options so you can stop going it alone.
For now, I invite you to join the Dynamic Women Global Community to meet other dynamic women who are wanting to support one another.
Have you been struggling to find the answers to the problems that you’re having? There could be a solution. It could be staring right at you. It could be right beside you. It could be so in your face. But why aren't you seeing it?
Your problems could be:
When you’re trying to find a solution, it’s like you’re looking for ONE solution or maybe you have MULTIPLE solutions but you haven’t come to that one clear solution you’d like to do. Since you haven't had that clarity, it's so hard to move forward.
Here are the three reasons why you’re not doing it, can’t do it, or can’t figure it out.
First Reason: You’ve Got Blinders On
Why can't you see the solution? Because you've got blinders on.
Racehorses have blinders on so they only see straight in front of them. That's really helpful because they're not distracted by the other horses or the crowd. However, when you’re trying to find a solution for something and you have blinders on, you’re not seeing what you need to see.
You're blocking your peripheral vision. You're only focused on one track. But if you're looking for a solution, you want to be able to pull from all different areas. Pull from all different possibilities.
We can think of the blinders as limiting beliefs. They're narrowing your view. For example, you want to exercise more, but your limiting belief is you’re not athletic.
The saboteurs jump in too. They make your blinders even bigger so you don't get to see what's possible. This is really sad because you could have a really great idea or an opportunity you’re not seeing.
You really need to do some brainstorming with someone else who will support you so that all of these different ideas can come out.
Second Reason: The Solution is Right in Front of Your Face
Sometimes, we are looking for a solution, but it's already right in front of us.
I did a coaching session with one of my peers, and we were trying to figure out my ONE thing… my ONE word… the ONE thing that I am known for.
I was like, “I don’t know! I'm trying to find it.” I'm looking around to find the answer. Then she questioned me, “Diane, isn’t it Dynamic Women? Isn’t that your thing? Isn't that what you talk about and what you train on and what your books and your programs are about?”
YES! It was right in front of my face!
If it was so obvious, why didn’t I pick it? Because it was so obvious. Maybe you've been in this place that it's just too simple. It's too obvious. It's right there.
Sometimes we overlook the obvious choice because…
Sometimes we want to overcomplicate things. I’ve seen female leaders believe that if it's not complicated, it's not worth doing. If it's not complicated, it's not good. These are all BS.
How do you get out of this? Write all the options down and then ask someone else, “Is there something I’m missing?” It’s helpful when it’s someone unbiased... Like a coach or someone that’s already in your corner so that you can get the best answer possible.
Oftentimes, the solution right in front of you is the one you need to take.
Third Reason: You’re in the Picture
One of my favorite quotes is from Les Brown, “When you're in the frame, you can't see the picture.”
When you're in the picture, you're not seeing what's beside you, what's behind you, what's around you, and you don't also see how the big picture looks.
It's good to get someone else's perspective on many areas:
They can tell you what they see in the big picture because you can't always see it
It's sometimes hard to make decisions when you’re in the frame because we're so stuck on that one small piece of the puzzle that's missing… we're not looking at the big picture. In my coach training, we call it the little ‘a’ and the big ‘A’ agenda.
You can't be in the big ‘A’ agenda all the time because you're trying to actually get stuff done, the little ‘a’ agendas like:
You're doing all these little things. That's where it's important that there's someone in your life, someone you trust, who can look and view the big picture for you. Who can tell you what they see in an honest kind way but also in a hard truth kind of way. While also acknowledging you and cheering you and calling you on your BS.
I encourage you to get somebody in your life that you trust, that can give you that honest feedback.
Finding solutions to problems is a really great thing to be able to do. The best place they're hiding, sadly, is sometimes right beside you, right in front of you or around you. Find that person you trust who can help you… who can help you find the solutions so you know what you need to do.
Join the free Dynamic Women Global Community and be supported by other like-minded women.
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As women, we play a lot of roles. We have to attend to so many responsibilities that at the end of the day, we don’t always have time left to devote to what we really want to do.
A lot of my clients say:
How can we really balance taking care of the kids, husband, home, business, your health, and any other passion project that you really want to do?
I’ll break it down into 5 ways.
#1. Be clear on what you want
The first question that you really need to ask yourself is “What do I really want in life?”
With my clients, we use the coaching tool called the Wheel of Life, and it includes all 10 areas of our lives. By looking at the wheel, we start to get super clear about what it is that we want and need and our priorities.
What's interesting is it really unearths new ideas, things that maybe you haven't talked about. Asking yourself that question, “What do you want?” is really going to help move you forward.
What I've been noticing is this is also the hardest question to answer. It looks super simple and it should be super simple, but as adults society has done us wrong. If we ask a child what he or she wants, they will come up with a massive list of things. But as adults, we often focus on needs and priorities or what society has told us we should want.
Knowing exactly what you want in each area is going to help you to feel more balanced because you'll have clarity on where to spend your time, your energy, your money, and all of your resources.
It's not something that is going to be answered really quickly. You need to be able to take that question and sit with it so you get the deeper answer. It's not something that you can just come up with on the spot (unless you’ve done the work). If it is a quick answer, you risk focusing on what society wants for you or what your parents or spouse want for you, or what your company wants for you. So it’s best to come up with what YOU want.
The first piece around getting balanced is really understanding and having clarity on what you want. It is really important to do this with a trained professional. I know I said you need to take time to figure this out. But the thing is, you also need to know what the ideal is and a coach can help you get to the heart of it.
#2. Set your priorities
Question 1: What are your priorities?
Making a priority list for yourself is crucial so that you know where those 10 areas stand, and the priorities of each one. This is important because when we are spread thin - kids, husband, family, and projects at work or whatever it may be - we really need to know what comes first.
Question 2: And where are you on your priority list?
Making a priority list for yourself is crucial so you know where you are on the priority list.
I had a client who thought that her first priority was finding a new career. But after looking at all areas of her life, we learned that her health and personal development were actually the priorities, so she can build a strong foundation to then go and get her dream job.
If you're finding it hard to balance, it could be because you need to take care of yourself first or you need to take care of one area so that you can have some balance and consistency.
#3: Have a strong “YES!”
Oftentimes, my clients talk about the need to say ‘No’ more often. I totally agree. But I also know that it's extremely hard to say ‘No’. So if you feel that way, I suggest you have a stronger ‘Yes.’
What do I mean by that?
When you get invited to do something or to go somewhere or to be involved in something, do you immediately agree and say, “I want to do that”? Or do you feel hesitant and say, “I'm not sure. Maybe I shouldn’t do that”? Then the ego comes in or that person's influence on you is at play.
So where does having a strong ‘Yes’ come in? If you do have clarity on what you want, then you have clarity on your priorities for all the areas and what you want to say ‘Yes’ to. This helps you to have only three to five main focus areas or main goals you're working on at a time so that you're not overwhelmed. When you know what you want, then you can say ‘Yes’ to that, making it easier to say no to other things.
The problem is if you're busy and you're good at achieving lots of things and you're good at being able to take care of many responsibilities, people are going to keep asking you. If you have those strong ‘Yes’ priorities in your life then you will be able to say ‘Yes’ to these things. Therefore, you’ll be able to say ‘No’ confidently to everything else!
#4. Figure out what resources you have
The next piece if you're having a lack of balance, is to figure out which resources you can use as your solution.
Ask yourself this: Do I have more time, more energy, or more money? If you have a lack of balance, you probably don't have a lot of energy, but maybe you have more money. So you could bring in solutions like a cleaner, a meal service, or delegating some of your work.
I do this with all areas of life, all problems, all obstacles, and all opportunities that I have. Can I use my time, my energy or my money to help with this?
If you have money and time, but no energy, then go recharge somewhere or pay for support to be recharged, pay to do a juice cleanse, or pay for a chef to create some healthy meals for you. You've got options.
In the same way if you have less of something then it could be time to make some changes. If you have no money, you need to clear some things out that are costing you money like subscriptions you don’t use. If you have no time, you need to clear things out that are sucking your time like watching endless TV shows. If you have no energy, then you need to do things to gain energy and to clear the things that are sucking your energy like negative people.
#5. Take Action
I have asked you a bunch of questions and given you 4 Ways to Balance Life. Use what I’ve shared and your answers to guide your choices and TAKE ACTION.
A lot of times people are in this place of “I'm so unbalanced”. Well, you got to do something about it. You have to get into action on it. If you keep complaining about it, but never do anything, then you're just going to be like a hamster on a wheel, rolling, rolling, rolling and never getting off and never feeling better.
How about you go on your calendar and block a day off? Maybe you need to go on a strict time where you’re saying no to invitations. You have choices here, but you’ve got to do something about it.
I invite you to really look at these five ways and now I ask you, What do you want to implement? I didn't say, “What do you NEED to implement?” because the thing is, you probably won't implement what you need to implement. If you're very self-aware and very on top of it and you have some accountability like my clients do, then please do what you need to do.
If you’re not sure you can do anything, then go with what you want to do because then you have more of a chance to succeed. Please choose something that you 150% believe you can do and will commit to. Then the joy is, that when you do it you’ll build confidence and self-esteem so you can tackle something that is a little bit harder next time.
If you want to increase your success, money, and happiness by mastering your inner and outer wealth, join the Dynamic Success Accelerator.
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In my last blog, I talked about three out of the five problems that cost you money, success, and peace. Now, let's go onto the other two.
Problem 4: Not valuing your time.
There are 3 ways you could be not valuing your time:
And then the problem could be…
You’re letting people take advantage of your time.
The trouble is that when you don't value your time, it shows up in your negotiations with others, in your schedule, with the amount of stress you have and in your bank account. When you don't value your time, you could also squander it on things that don't matter as much.
What I look at with my clients is, what is the return on investment (ROI) for your time? If it's an income-producing time, then how much is an hour worth? Is it $100, $200, $1,000?
When you're not doing income-producing activities, meaning you're not working with a client that you can bill, and you're not making a sale to a customer, it’s all the other tasks that keep the business going.
But when you don't value your time, you would say “Yes” to doing tasks you should delegate. If I looked at your day and all the tasks you did, are they all $100, $200, or $500 an hour activities? I'm guessing not.
Do you know the expression “time is money”? I feel that time is everything. Time is not a renewable resource. You cannot get it back. Time is so precious.
You could help more people if you were focusing your time on supporting your clients and customers rather than all the other stuff.
I understand the belief that when you’re not earning a lot or youre a small company you can’t delegate. I challenge that. There are activities that are below your pay level and frankly not your core skills and talents, so they must be delegated if you want to grow and have life balance. For example, if you can make some calls and sell $100 in product or trade 1 hour of your expertise for $100 then you can pay $25 an hour for 3 hours for a cleaner to clean your house or a Content Creator to make some social media graphics. You still have $25 in your pocket and it saved you 2 hours.Then if you used those 2 hours to do what you did to make the $100 you are now up $225.
The key thing is to use those hours you saved to do things only you can do.
Problem 5: You think you need cash to make cash.
You think you need to have money in the business or money in your life to be able to make more money in your business or make more profit.
But there are actually six ways to increase wealth when you don't have any money. These are strategies I brought in when I started out in business. They're things that I bring in continuously to be able to earn more money without spending more money. These are things I teach in the Million Dollar Woman Program.
Now, let's just actually look at that word for a moment - Spending. Spending means to give and not get back. But every time we have money come out of our hands, it's investing. Now if you are going out and buying Tim Hortons or McDonald's breakfast every day, that's spending and not investing. But if you were to buy a really nice coffee machine, so you can make your own coffee at home, that can be seen as investing because by buying that you can bring money back to you.
Investing in a coach to help you to get ahead faster and not make mistakes can have a great ROI, so can investing in software that helps keep track of leads or a FB ad specialist you can build your list and bring you leads.
Everything that you do in business and in life should have some Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) of
They also need ROI. If I'm putting in $1, can I get $5 back? If I'm putting in $1, can I be moving my business forward and save myself some time?
You might think that you don't have the money so you can't invest. That’s BS! As Les Brown said, “When you're in the frame you can't see the picture.” The only way that you can learn how to do these six things or how to be able to move ahead without money is by being able to be creative and learning from someone who has done it or who can help you to see it.
One example is barter, trades or contra. I have been able to acquire many things in my business without putting out money.
There are a lot of strategies around this, and everybody's business is different. But there are six different strategies that I do almost all the time, so that my expenses are lower, and so that I can move my business forward. It doesn’t mean all these six things instantly give me money, but each of these six things eventually has a return on investment. If I'm investing nothing and then I'm getting something back, isn’t that amazing?
Over the past two blogs, I’ve covered the five things that I see in my clients that’s stopping them from making more money. I work with female business owners. I work with female leaders. I work with women, and these five things are costing them not only money, but their time and their peace. It's not helping them get ahead, and at the end of the day, money is not everything, but money makes things easier. It can make life more peaceful and enjoyable.
If you want to learn more about how you can make more money, schedule a complimentary 15 min chat with me by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
What's stopping you from making more money?
There are five problems that I continuously see in my clients, in my network, and in people I talk to after keynotes that I give.
These problems can cost you money, your success, and your peace.
Here are the five problems (in no particular order):
Problem 1: Having only ONE income path
This was a really big issue for a lot of people during COVID. If you’re an employee, then your one income path is your salary or your paycheck. But having just one income path means that if you ever do lose your job or if anything ever happens and the company's not paying you on time, that's really all you have. Unless you're able to get bonuses or work overtime, you're really capped in what you can make.
If you're an employee and you have your nine to five, but you also have a side hustle, then you're getting another income. If you have rental properties, then you have an additional income coming in.
On the other hand, you could be self-employed or you’re working for your own business and that’s your only income path. For instance, a lot of professional speakers really struggled when COVID-19 happened. There were no in-person live events. Yes, they can get paid virtually or work around it in some way, but most of them struggled because they only generated money through speaking and all of their engagements were canceled overnight.
Now for me, I was able to pivot my focus. I focused on the things I can do that bring in money.
If you have multiple streams of income, not only is this good in case something happens to your main source, but you can also have different income streams for different times or seasons of the year.
It would be even better if one of them is passive, meaning you don't have to touch it, and it's bringing you money:
Having multiple streams of income can help relieve stress. It can help you to have a more consistent and higher income.
Think about this: how many income streams do you have? How many paths to money do you have? If you only have one, how many do you want to have?
Problem 2: Look to your bank account for your happiness
The thing costing people money is the fact that they focus on the money and they don't spend any time in joy and happiness and relaxation. When you're only looking to your bank account for your happiness, your joy will be hollow. I have heard these words from very wealthy clients.
There's Inner Wealth, and there's Outer Wealth. Most people focus their time on their outer wealth. They're focusing on all of the things outside of them that can bring them happiness, and that can bring them wealth. There are things that you can do in your Inner Wealth to feel wealthy every single day.
For a lot of people, they’ve moved away from money being the motivator. Instead, choosing passion, giving back, their movement and their why as better motivators.
If you've been in any of my programs like Dynamic Balance or Keys to Success, then you have heard me talk about the Wheel of Life. One of the biggest problems people have in balancing their life is that they measure their life according to their success, rather than their satisfaction.
When you look at the Inner Wealth as well, it gets you to a place of feeling wealthy every day, even if you're not rolling in massive amounts of cash. The same is true when you measure your life according to satisfaction rather than success, you can be happy every day of your life, not just when you have that amazing milestone or goal that you've reached.
Problem 3: They say “Yes” to all opportunities (And say “No” to some great opportunities)
When you say “Yes” to everything, it's potentially because you're coming from a place of lack or a place of scarcity:
At the end of the day, it's not bringing you the right amount of money and even if it does, it's stealing your energy and your joy. We don't want that to happen.
I actually have nine different guidelines that tell you when you can say “Yes” and when you should say “No”. I’ve heard these are helpful because people sometimes feel like they have to say “Yes”, and they need some tangible guidelines to use. Here are two of those nine ways. I cover these in my Million Dollar Woman program.
I’m thinking of sharing all 9 in a PDF with explanations. If you’re interested in that, please email email@example.com. If I get enough interest we’ll put it together and email it out.
When you have the 9 and you have an opportunity you’re deciding on you can see how many of these nine guidelines it has. Then it becomes a no-brainer. With clients we then take it a step further and see if the opportunity can satisfy maybe two or three more of these: so how can you negotiate, write it in your contract, casually suggest ways to get the other six or seven different benefits working for you.
In my next blog, I will share the other two reasons that stop you from making more money.
Do you ever find yourself not getting your full asking price or earning what you’re worth?
When I was 10-years-old, my very first job was to be a newspaper carrier. I was really good at delivering newspapers BUT when it came to collecting my “salary”, I felt bad.
Looking back, I realized that I felt bad asking for the money even though I've earned it. When I hadn’t been able to catch them for a few weeks the amount would be higher, so I wouldn’t tell them the full amount of what they owed me — ie. I would ask for $15 rather than $20.
I was cheating myself out of money. Now as a coach, I meet women and see how my clients have been leaving money on the table. Here are 6 ways you can make sure that you get paid what you’re worth.
1) KNOW YOUR RATE
Know what it is that you charge. It could be $50, $100, $15 an hour, or whatever it is. If you don’t know how much you should be paid, check what other people in your industry, at your level of expertise, are getting paid. It’s hard to stand confidently in your rate when you’re making it up on the spot. If you have someone ask you for something you haven’t figured out a price for yet, then ask them a few questions about what they are looking for and let them know you’ll get right back to them in a few hours or in 24 hours.
Another way to figure out what you should charge is to look at what you want to be earning for the lifestyle that you want to have. That's really important.
I have a client who realized she was charging way below what others in her industry are getting paid. What did we do? We bumped her fees up. She feared that no one was going to pay that fee, but she actually had three people book right away!
Extra Tip: If you feel uncomfortable sharing your rates verbally, have them on a price sheet that you can email over to your potential clients.
On the other hand, if you have a product-based business where you have specific pricing on your products, make sure you're sticking to that specific price so your margin of profit is going to cover your expenses and time.
2) BE CLEAR ON WHAT’S INCLUDED
Be clear so that everybody knows what they will get for that price.
If you can't tell people exactly what they get, they're going to be confused and they're going to take advantage of you with “scope creep”. This is where they're going to ask you or even demand from you more than what’s included.
I had a client who was asked to spend an extra hour at the event she was working, even though it wasn’t included in her fee. This happened because the hours weren’t clear with everyone involved. The problem with this is that it brings resentment and the feeling of being used. That’s your time away from your life, family, passions and you’re not getting paid for it.
What did this client do? She told her client that her hourly rate is $200. The client paused for a moment, and since the client knew how many hours she got and the rate for those two hours, she turned around, grabbed some money, and handed her $200 cash.
For those who are selling products, you also have to be very clear. What’s included in packages, when they get free products or points, and if shopping is extra. If you’re trying to put together a hosted event with products, like in network marketing you have to be very clear about what the host does and what’s included. For example, with a cooking class, will they be able to keep the jars of products you opened? Do they know if all the food is included? Will they take care of the wine?
3) SHARE YOUR ADD-ONS IN ADVANCE
I have a client who was very kind. When people asked her for a recording on a USB, she’d say sure and buy a USB and ship it to them. I also had clients where they were asked to go to a certain location to provide the service that was in favor of their client, but that cost them travel time.
These are add-ons. Sending a product that’s not part of the package is an add-on. Travel time is also an add-on.
If you have a sheet of add ons, then it's very clear to your client or your customer to know what’s included and what's not. If they want to add on things they can and you’ll be paid for it.
If you want to do referral fees, gifts, or other compensation plans then you need a system and a process put in place. This is the same if you have a team and you want to reward people. You have to be consistent, you have to think ahead, and let everyone involved know.
4) SAY NO TO PITAs
PITAs, according to one of my coaches, James Malinchak, means Pain in the Ass. These are people who will negotiate with you as much as they can and will not pay your worth. Then they’ll often be someone who demands more of you.
If you prefer to call them people who are difficult to deal with, then go ahead. Just be aware because they often don’t pay your worth, and they take more of your time than your other amazing clients/customers.
That’s where the mutual level of respect happens. You have to decide what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with. Because if you continue to work with PITAs, they’ll drain you of your time, and they'll drain your bank account because they're always wanting more and demanding more.
I'm not saying you cannot discount your services. In certain circumstances, you can be generous with people who you know are struggling financially. For a product-based business, you might drop your margins a little bit on a wholesale or when you know your profit margins can still cover you. For service-based businesses you can have sponsored spots where people pay a reduced amount you both agree on. I have a couple of sponsorship spots in my business. For instance, I gave one to a woman who was a single mom and hadn’t received child support in years. She was doing such amazing humanitarian work, philanthropic work, and I really wanted to be able to support her in coaching, but she just couldn't afford it. It allows me to be generous and have planned giving rather than reduce my rate for everyone.
The funny thing is, sometimes I get PITAs. I know that they mean well, and they're good people and I maybe even want to work with them. In order to do this there is sometimes an inflated price because I know they will take more of my time and more of my team's time to really help them. Their increased needs are discussed in advance and then the investment will reflect this additional support.
5) SET SUPER STRONG BOUNDARIES
You should have really strong boundaries and contracts in place and have everything be super clear. So have your lawyer look over any contracts or agreements in advance and have your refund policy be clear. This way no one will be able to take your service or your product from you then demand a refund when they completely used it or when they haven't implemented things properly.
Cover your back because I've had that happen myself in the early days and heard it from people I have met. Some people wanted refunds when the work was already done or the product was already used, or they got service and ignored payment requests.
6) GET PAID IN ADVANCE
As much as you can, get paid in advance. With my amazing clients, they invest in advance to coach with me, attend my sessions, and join a program. The benefit of that is that we don't talk about the financial piece. Instead, we just get right down to business. We get to focus all of our time on coaching them towards their goals and coaching them to be the most amazing, fearless leaders, rather than spend time talking about where their payment is. They're all in. I'm all in. We just do the greatest work together in this situation.
I know many people who spend time and energy reminding their clients to pay them. I’m sure you don’t want to be using your time and energy for that. We want to be using it on our talents, our core competencies and on the actual income-generating work that we do.
These are the six ways you can get paid what you’re worth. Remember that you deserve it.
If you want to learn more ways on how you can succeed in life, download my FREE ebook Key 2 Success and learn the 3 dangerous trends professional women face that keep them overworked, overwhelmed, and pulled in a million directions.
In my last blog, I talked about how you’ll know if your mental health is suffering.
Now, I’m going to share three main things you can do when you know your mental health is suffering.
Number 1: Prioritize Yourself
Prioritizing yourself is the first of nine Pillars of being a Dynamic Woman from my program Dynamic You. It’s the first because it’s crucial you do this before you do any of the other pillars. There's no point in pushing yourself in your career, business, or connecting with others if this first pillar isn't in place.
You have to prioritize yourself especially if you're in a space of not feeling like yourself or feeling like you can’t handle the world. It can be self-care with journaling, meditating, praying, exercising, going into nature, showering, massages, sleep, and quiet time.
It’s crucial to unplug and have times of no stimulus: this means no phone, no TV, no social media, no people, and spending a bit more time by yourself. This way you don't have these external factors making you feel bad and stressing you out.
Also part of self-care and prioritizing yourself is seeing a doctor. This is one thing that I find has been so influential in my clients’ and my own development. I personally prefer a naturopath to be able to run my blood work and see chemically and hormonally how I'm doing. For instance, we can have low iron which can make you really tired and you can't function and deal with life when you have a mineral deficiency. Again, you need to go to a doctor to figure this out. I was speaking with a client about how it’s not fair to expect yourself to be running on full cylinders, like a car, if you don't have enough gas in the tank or if you have the wrong gas. Imagine you put diesel in a gas engine, you're not going to do very well.
As soon as you can figure out if you’re off hormonally, chemically, or minerally, then you can put a plan in place to get better. It could mean you take supplements or medicine. It might mean you have to change your diet and cut out sugar, alcohol, wheat, dairy, caffeine, and other things that can cause inflammation, brain fog, irritability, and spikes in your day.
Number 2: Get Support
There are two main pieces to support. You can get support through paid professionals like counselors, coaches, psychologists, psychiatrists, and many more. That's the clinical piece and the other piece is support from those around you.
It's great that you talk to someone professionally, but you also need to have those around you, family, friends, and connections who see you all the time to know what's going on. It's about getting support from others and designing how your relationship will now be. You and your circle can collaborate to improve your health and your mental well-being.
If you have the Dynamic You book or if you have the program, you can go into the Collaborate Pillar and look at designing and redesigning relationships so that you can redesign how things are.
To give you an example of this, I’ll share about when my Dad was in palliative care and then when he passed. It was such a sad and confusing time and it was stressful caring for my kids. I could do it, but it was overwhelming because my husband was still in BC and I was in Ontario. I did some designing with my in-laws, having them take the kids and allowing myself space to sort out things, support my Mom and be in my grief. I also talked with friends and let them know, “I don’t feel like hanging out or even chatting on the phone, but text is ok.” They understood and were thankful that I shared this with them so they knew how to best support me.
I also said to my husband, “Hey, I am not myself right now. I need your support and help.” We discussed how he needed to do more around the house, take the kids out more and not expect a lot from me. You have permission to ask for help. You have permission to get the support that you need, especially from those around you.
A lot of the high-achieving leaders that I work with are probably doing 80% of the work in a relationship. It is okay to take it back to 50% or to even get the other person to put in 80% and you recharge for a bit.
Number 3: Go into Maintenance Mode
The last action is a concept that I came up with in the past decade working with my clients who needed it. Many people have asked me, “You have so much going on, how do you juggle everything?” The key thing for me is I don't always do everything. I can’t. I delegate well to my team, and most importantly when life is crazy I go into maintenance mode. I focus on my priorities.
When life gets hard, there are too many balls to juggle. You need to take a quick look at what you're juggling, and ask yourself, which are glass balls and which are rubber balls.
Here are some examples of glass balls you can’t drop and come up with some of your own as well:
These are the glass balls. These are the things you can’t drop or they’ll break.
Then what does it mean for the rubber balls? You can let them go and they just bounce. No harm done. This allows you to go into “maintenance mode”. Maintenance mode is an amazing opportunity for you to drop the rubber balls and only focus on the glass ones, and let everything else slide from your plate or delegate it if it's important.
Finally, after a summer of the kids being off, it was the 1st day back to school for my daughter, but my son jumped off our bed and broke his femur. Imagine, you have a two and a half year old, who is now at home with you with almost a full-body cast on. You need to be there to get everything for him. You need to bathe him in the big cast. You actually need to change diapers in this contraption as well. It was really hard for me.
I was used to dropping him off at daycare, dropping my daughter off at school, and then I'd have time to work my business. All of a sudden, I'm dropping balls left, right, and center and they were glass ones too!
What did I decide to do? I asked for support, but mainly I focused on my priorities: my clients and my son. Then what were the rubber balls I let bounce? My house got a bit messier. I was a little bit more lax in what I ate and said yes to support with a meal train, which was such a blessing. I think I cried when each person came to the door to give me a meal, not because I was getting a meal but because of the love I felt from them.
In maintenance mode, my husband and I also didn’t have date nights, so we could care for our son. I put my personal development on the back burner, but I kept my self-care up because it was a stressful time and I needed it.
Maintenance mode is meant for a short period of time. This is not for all year. This might be a few weeks where you have a major project, you're moving, there is a death in the family, someone's having surgery, there's something major happening, and rather than completely losing all control, you let the rubber balls fall (the areas of life that don't matter as much) so that you can focus on the priorities and delegate the other pieces out.
So what will you do when your mental health is suffering? You can bring in one of these actions: make yourself a priority, get support from professionals and your circle, and go into maintenance mode.
So what will you do when your mental health is suffering? You can bring in one of these actions: make yourself a priority, get support from professionals and your circle, and go into maintenance mode.
Mental health can be a challenge. It is debilitating for so many people, and it can happen to the most successful high achieving, intelligent, put-together people. I encourage you today, don't worry about being vulnerable. Don't worry about looking bad. It’s ok to share that you have anxiety or stress or you’re not feeling good about something. It can only get better when you talk with others you trust.
If you have any questions, please reach out to me. Maybe it's time we had a session. We can coach on a topic of your choice. Just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to set one up.
I'm also offering 6 complimentary audits for either, “What do you need to be more balanced in life?” and “What do you need to be a more valuable leader?” By the end of our time together, you're going to have a checklist that tells you exactly what you need to do in order to be more balanced in life or be a more valuable leader if that's what is more of a priority for you. If you’d like one, email my team at email@example.com.
Read my other blogs here:
1. Stop Dropping the Balls and Instead Find Balance
2. Stop Juggling everything! Tips to help you avoid overwhelm
3. The Power of Baby Steps
Have you ever asked yourself the following questions…
These are questions I received from a client.
Maybe this is a topic that you don’t think you need to listen to. But I'll tell you, it definitely will help you, especially if you have people around you that are suffering.
How do I know when my mental health is suffering?
The answer is: YOU KNOW. You just know. If you're asking the question, you know.
Here are some clues that your mental health is suffering that I see from my clients:
Those have a lot to do with your mood and personality. Another has to do with food. You're reaching for junk food, alcohol, or more comfort foods. This is very common for my clients as they start eating their emotions. This also happened to me when my father passed away. For many people with COVID, we're calling it the COVID 19, like the freshman 15, the COVID-19, meaning you're putting on about 19 pounds.
It happens a lot because our mental health isn't as solid as we need it to be. We’re then not able to be disciplined and consistent in the type of eating that we want to have.
I do have to state I'm not a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor. I'm a coach, and I'm speaking from experience of what I've seen in my clients and the work that I've done in process coaching with my clients. I'm also speaking from a place of personal experience where I haven't had the emotional bandwidth. I haven't had the emotional stamina. I have dealt with postpartum depression, not once. But twice. I have dealt with anxiety where I have no idea where it came from. My hormones have been completely off balance. I've also dealt with stress and mental health suffering because of over-exertion and stress in the amount of things I do in my life. I have also experienced this with grief.
I've got a lot of personal experience around this, but full disclosure, I have never had to get to a point of strongly medicating. So if you are at that place where your mental health is suffering, and you are suicidal, you are violent, or you are doing any other addictive or abusive behavior, or you are in a situation that is unsafe, please seek medical attention ASAP. Please tell a loved one that you trust. Please get the help that you need. That's so crucial.
BACK TO… How else could you know that you're suffering mentally?
If your priorities are things that are important to you like emailing people back on time, getting projects completed, hanging out, or being committed to a group that you're a part of or a board that you're on, or people that you're volunteering with, those can be times when you're not honoring these things anymore. That's very strange for you.
For ladies, maybe you don't care about doing your hair and makeup anymore, and that was important to you. Maybe you're not showering, doing other forms of hygiene that are important or you're not changing your clothes as often as you should.
You should be picking up the kids, but you totally forgot. You're not able to get certain things done. Maybe you're at the point where you don't care. That's showing that you're mentally starting to suffer.
In my first year of grief after my Dad passed, this was definitely something that I was having to deal with. I was short-tempered. I would raise my voice with my family. I was very quick to be frustrated. I didn't like that.
I was also quick to cry as soon as somebody showed that they cared. I also wasn’t able to have emotional stamina — the emotional stamina to be able to get through the day, to handle other people, to be around other people, or get through something that's hard.
For your situation, you have to ask yourself:
Now, let’s go back to answer that first question that my client had, “how do you know when your mental health is starting to suffer?”
You might feel like:
After speaking events, or when I’m leading one of my own events, sometimes women come up to me and share where they are at. It sounds like they’re living in black and white.
If you see the start of Wizard of Oz, it's all in black and white. It has this almost dead feeling to it. We can feel that way in life. If you are not in the right mental state, it's like you're living in black and white. It's like the color, the spirit, the joy, and the energy left you.
Later, when the movie switches to color, there's vibrancy, life, and energy that comes out - it’s the same when these women get themselves back.
In my next blog, I’ll share with you some answers on what to do when your mental health is suffering.
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