In the past two weeks, we’ve given you a round-up of the Top 5 Dynamic Women Podcast Guest Episodes of 2022 and Top 5 Dynamic Women Podcast Solo Episodes of 2022.
This week, we’re closing off January 2023 with the Top 5 Dynamic Women Blogs of 2022! I will count them down from 5 to 1. If you read them already, I’m curious, were they your favourites too? And if you haven’t, this is your chance to catch them this time around.
Do you judge yourself or have you seen someone you love judge themselves?
Women can be so good at judging themselves in these ways:
I’m no exception here! I also judge myself, and I share that in the blog.
Do you judge yourself? If yes, then why?
Check out the blog as I also shared the four reasons why you might judge yourself.
This blog is part 2 of our Top 1 blog for 2022!
Why are we feeling disorganized? Well, because we're busy. We are ambitious. There are lots of things we want to do.
In this blog, I shared the last two things stopping you from being organized in your life.
Top Blog #3: What’s Stopping You from Making More Money? (Part 2)
There are five problems that I continuously see in my clients, in my network, and in people I talk to after keynotes that I give.
These problems can cost you money, your success, and your peace.
In no particular order, I share five problems that could be stopping you from making more money. Two of those problems are shared in this Top 3 blog, while three are shared in the first part of this blog. Check out part 1 here.
Top Blog #2: 5 Steps to Know If a Troll or Hater is Right
Have you ever had someone hate on you or troll your posts and make mean comments?
Let me tell you…as soon as you start shining, many people will see you in a positive light and compliment you. It will feel amazing and to them, you say, “Thank you!”
Then there is a chance that others will be jealous and say mean things about you to your face, online, or to others. I’ve felt it and it sucks how it can cause you to doubt yourself and want to fly under the radar.
Don’t hide away! Don’t take their words to heart! Instead, I’ve got some tips for you!
Check out the blog to know the five steps you can take in those moments in order to be able to deal with haters.
Here’s the top 1 blog of 2022!
I asked the women in my Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook, “What challenging thing are you working through these days?”
One of the responses was “I'm not organized in my life.”
I'm hearing that a lot recently from clients and from people in my community. Now, let me ask you, “Are you dealing with chaos, clutter, and feeling a lack of control?” I get it because you have a lot going on.
You’re busy with:
In this blog, I shared with you three out of the five things that are stopping you from being organized. I also shared what being organized means. The second part of this blog is also our Top 4 blog of 2022!
That’s a wrap! Those are the top 5 blogs of 2022! Thank you for always being here. If you know anyone who would appreciate the blog, share it with them.
Every week, I publish a new blog that aims to give you tools, tips, and the truth about all things life and business!
Check all of my blogs here: https://www.dianerolston.com/blog/
Let’s connect in other places too! - like on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter so you’re updated on all things dynamic.
For topic suggestions for the blog, email me at email@example.com.
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In my last blog, I shared with you the Top 5 Guest Episodes of the Dynamic Women Podcast. They are on fire!
Now, let me share with you the Top 5 Solo Episodes! These are the episodes that I record myself to give you tools, stories, and strategies that will help you in all areas of life.
Do you feel overworked, overwhelmed, and spread too thin? In this episode of the Dynamic Women Podcast, I talk about:
Are you sick of people telling you that you are too much? Or is there someone in your life that you feel is too much? In this episode, I talk about how we as a society need to stop telling people that they are too much. Can you relate?
Do you know that there could be three reasons why you’re not feeling so confident with your goals?
In the 150th episode of the Dynamic Women Podcast, I share:
Have you been wondering about what you want in life?
In this episode:
Top 1 - DW141: Recovering from Covid
You're busy, and no one has time to be sick, including me. You want to recover as fast as you can so you can get back to your life.
In this episode:
There you go! The Top 5 Solo Episodes of the Dynamic Women Podcast!
I enjoyed recording these episodes for you along with all of the other weekly episodes. The Dynamic Women Podcast surely came a long way and as always, I intend to share with you only the best topics, stories, and tools to help you be dynamic in every area of life.
You can listen to the Dynamic Women Podcast through Apple Podcasts, Captivate, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and other podcast streaming apps. Make sure to subscribe and leave us a review so we can reach and help more women. When you do leave us a review, please send a screenshot to firstname.lastname@example.org with your mailing address so that we can send you a little something in the mail. ⠀⠀⠀
If you have topic suggestions, don’t hesitate to email my team at email@example.com or me firstname.lastname@example.org.
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2022 was a great year for the Dynamic Women Podcast. We celebrated our 3rd anniversary and we also ranked #3 of the Top 50 Mom Podcasts by Podcast Magazine!
In 2022, we featured 14 dynamic women who shared their stories and expertise to our podcast listeners.
So let me present to you the Top 5 Guest Episodes of Dynamic Women Podcast for 2022!
TOP 4 - DW144: How to Save Time, Energy, and Money when Building a Home or Renovation with Desiree La Cas
contractors and designers can actually help save time, energy & money, how she works with her clients, her passions, and a lot more!
Those are the top 5 guest episodes of 2022. Make sure to check those episodes’ show notes to grab freebies from our wonderful guests!
I want to take this opportunity to thank our guests for sharing their stories and expertise to our listeners.
You can catch the Dynamic Women Podcast on Captivate, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and other podcast streaming apps. Make sure to subscribe and leave us a review so we can reach and help more women. When you do leave us a review, please send to email@example.com a screenshot of the review and your mailing address so that we can send you a little something in the email. ⠀⠀
If you also want to be a guest and inspire a global community of women, please email my team at firstname.lastname@example.org or me email@example.com.
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You might have heard me already talk about how people tell you… “Be a little less”, “You're too much” and now “You need to change that part of yourself”.
Well, I'll tell you a story about this time I was speaking and I was nervous to tell a specific story in case I started to cry.
I'd been on stage many times before. I'd even been on stage in front of this particular audience before. But this feeling came up again…
One thing I have felt for many years, (probably decades) is I need to change how I cry easily.
How easily? I can remember crying over a coffee commercial because it was just so sweet with the son coming home from university to surprise his parents and making coffee for the parents. They wake up and smell the coffee and they come down, their son is there, and they hug. And this was me before I even had my own kids!
My crying was something I was very embarrassed about, so I got coaching around it. I tried to “pre-cry” for things, so I wouldn't cry in social settings.
It was pretty crazy.
I thought, “Something's wrong with me because I can cry so easily.” I can remember watching Titanic and just bawling my eyes out at 14 and getting home and my mom saying “Didn't you know the Titanic sank? Didn't you know that was going to happen.” I did know; however, the love story was just so sweet. It's the idea of losing someone like that. My goodness, it just made me cry.
You get the point, right? Me getting tearful. It was an embarrassment. I was like, “I got to change myself.” But then through the help of a coach, I realized that me tearing up and me crying is actually a gift. I need to be unapologetically myself because other people need me to cry for them to cry or they need me to cry to know that it's okay to cry. They also feel relief when they can't cry tears, but I do. I'm sure you know someone who you think, “Wow, they never cry.” Me, I could cry quite a bit. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I get disappointed. I cry for others' tears.
So I'm on stage, and I'm telling a story about my grandma. I loved her so dearly, and she passed away. I teared up. I also shared how I had been struggling personally and how I had postpartum depression after my kids.
I told my stories, and I spoke confidently, but I still teared up. I didn't full-blown cry. But I'll tell you, even though this audience had seen me before, they ran up to me at the end. It was people that I knew. Clients of mine. Colleagues. People who have seen me speak a few times. They ran up to me, and they said, “Wow, Diane, I didn't know those things about you.”
They connected to the realness of who I was being. I didn't have to change myself. I could be unapologetically myself, and you can, too. Because the realness and the emotion they saw that day, helped me in so many ways. It helped them in so many ways too. So now me being real and being unapologetically myself, it means that:
It gives me permission to be all these things. Not be stuck in a box to what other people or society thinks I should be like. That's what you should have too: permission to be yourself. Yes, we should be looking to improve ourselves. Let me take out the word “should” because that's an obligation.
What I hope for you is that you can be unapologetically yourself where you don't feel you need to change. Most importantly, through your actions, you become completely fully the person that you are meant to be.
With this, I encourage you to join the Dynamic Year Program. You can be unapologetically yourself and have more clarity, confidence, and better results. If you want to know more about the program, you can check it out here. Early bird promo ends in a few days so don’t miss out!
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As we come to the end of the year (or any time of year), it is good to be able to jump in and do some releasing of things that don't serve you anymore. Why? So we can have more time, energy, and money.
Let’s break down each of those aspects: time, energy, and money. Then, let’s talk about the different ways you can find more of them and release things that are taking up your time, energy, and money so that in the next year or in the next 12 months, you are going to be able to feel so much better to drop these things that are holding you back from:
Because when we lack time, energy, and money, it really makes everything harder. It's like you're going after your goals, but you're either in quicksand or you're in really sticky, heavy mud, and you're going uphill. It makes things a lot harder.
When you don't have enough time, you feel rushed, you feel stressed, and you have to prioritize.
But oftentimes, what I see with my clients, is their health and personal goals suffer because they end up putting other people's agendas first, like their kids, spouses, other obligations, work, business, or clients, when they really need to spend the time on themselves.
When we don't have the energy, we don't have the ability to be motivated, to move past situations that need resilience, persistence, and it’s hard to work through the obstacles. We're just too tired. Then bad habits come into play because we're trying to just get by.
When we don't have the money, it puts us in a scarcity mindset. It's not a place you want to be because then you make decisions that are not bold. You'll be protective of yourself, so you take on clients and customers who aren't in alignment with who you want to work with. Finally, you take on projects or jobs you really don't want to do, which ends up zapping your energy and your time as well.
Look back on the past year or the past 12 months, and ask yourself, “Where did I focus my time?”
I encourage you to take a few moments and write your answer down.
Another good way to really figure this out is to look at your planner, schedule, or calendar, and see where you were and where most of your time was spent. You might have used a time tracking tool like Toggl where you can actually see which tasks you were spending time on.
Then reflect on a typical day or week.
Once you know exactly where you were focusing your time, you can decide if you want to continue doing that. A lot of times we get into bad habits or we get into coping mechanisms that are based on just what we decide in the moment to do rather than setting a very clear intention for how we want to spend our time.
I fall into this trap when I'm tired, and I just want to put on Netflix and zone out. But I know that it doesn't serve me. I should just go to bed or read. I have so many books that I want to read, and I'm not doing it. If I have time to watch a two-hour movie, I have time to read.
By doing this reflection of where you spend your time, you get to consciously decide where you want to spend your time moving forward.
With energy, I'm going to focus more a little bit on who you're being. Prepare yourself I have a lot of great questions for you:
Think back to situations. Look at all areas of your life. Then, ask yourself, “Was I focusing my energy on things that were most important to me? Is this how I want to spend my energy?”
As I go through all of this, it brings up the importance of the Dynamic Year Program. Looking back on the past year really gives us insight as to how we want to live moving forward…
This is actually what brought about this blog. I was looking over my credit card statements from this month, and was surprised, “Wow, I'm putting $7 for this and $35 for that, and $100 for that, and $250 for that.” All unnecessary!
Why? At this time of year I take stock as to what I really need and want moving forward. It’s time to ask you a few questions, and share ones I'm focusing on right now.
When I was looking at my credit card statements, I was looking at one of my major CRMs and thinking, “Do I really need it to be like this”?
I was also looking at a funnel software and thinking, “I haven't been using that.”
Even things like my Spotify account - do I really need it? I'm at home, I have Amazon Prime music, and I also use the TV music stations, so do I really need that? Because the main reason for getting Spotify was to have uninterrupted music for when I'm running my events. I decided it's just not necessary right now.
As I wrap this up I have to share that with all of these areas where you focus your time, your energy, and your money, you have the choice to release parts permanently. You also have the choice to release them temporarily to see if you can be without it. For example, with Spotify, you may think, “It's just 10 bucks, it doesn't matter.” Well, it adds up, and which book would be better purchased with that $10? ANd what charity could use that $120 a year?
Maybe you wish to hire a VA. I've got two VAs and people say, “Oh, but you're at a different level than me.” You know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what level you're at. No CEO runs the company all by themselves. If you cancel a few unnecessary subscriptions, you could have a few hours of support from the VA which will make a big difference.
Where would you focus your energy, if you knew you would have 10% more energy? Where would you focus your energy if it wasn’t being sucked down by you comparing yourself to others or reacting to people who don't support you? Or worrying about things or procrastinating?
What could you do with that pocket of energy?
If you had more time, what would you do with that?
Really, the possibilities are endless, but it comes down to conscious choice and setting intentions.
These questions of where do you want to focus your time, your energy, and your money, sets up the Dynamic Year Program. After we evaluate the past year, we will go through and grab all that wisdom and then create a plan when we look at our new goals.
My 3-Step Process will give you A BETTER YEAR...GUARANTEED! You've worked hard and dealt with all of the issues of the last year! Now is the time to get together with other Dynamic Women for an end of the year planning session to celebrate 2022 being over and planning for 2023! MY GOAL IS TO MAKE YOUR SUCCESS EASIER TO ACHIEVE!
Release the bad. Find out where you can cut things out to gain more time, boost your energy, and have more money. Release them. AND then add in what will really support you to have a Dynamic Year with your Dynamic Year Plan!
Join the Dynamic Year Program, I am doing it in January. Check out the previous link or email about 1:1 coaching at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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It’s almost Christmas!
During the holiday season, a lot of things are going on. We prepare gifts, attend reunions, and social gatherings, and parties. It’s also the time we spend with family!
But all these things could become stressful.
Now, are you already feeling a bit stressed this holiday season because it’s too busy and you don’t have downtime? Are you going to lose it and probably get into a fight with someone because you just don’t know how to deal with it all?
Why we get annoyed
We might get annoyed for many reasons, like these:
No matter what the situation is, a lot of times we're annoyed because some of our values are being dishonored. By values, I don't mean morals. I mean values in things we align with and need in order to feel in full resonance (energy). When they are being dishonoured, we're willing to get on a soapbox and fight for them and speak up.
It might be values like:
Can you imagine how these two would butt heads? Someone with the value of being in the flow, and another person with the value of being on time.
Now, in the moment, you're not going to say, “Oh, my values are being dishonored” or “It's because their values are that way.” When I work with my clients, they start to understand their values. They start to pick up on when they’re being honoured and dishonoured.
But if you don't know what your values are and you haven't done the values assessment, then here are some steps you can take in the meantime.
What you can do to reveal your values
Step 1: Listen to how you're feeling: when you have a knot in your stomach, or you start to tense up, or you feel like you’re going to get mad. Ask yourself, “What is the feeling that I'm having?”
You have to name the feelings so you can see what it's connected to. Once you have that feeling locked in, then you can look to…
If the feeling part is hard for you, then this question would be your first question: What has caused me to feel bad?
Then once you figure out what caused you to feel bad, you can then figure out what the feeling is underneath it.
Step 2: Now it's clear as to why you're feeling bad and what caused this for you. If I go back to my previous examples of someone who is late, or someone who is not being helpful in making the Christmas dinner, whatever it may be, if you look at that and now ask yourself, what is it about it that is so annoying for me?
Well, when people are not on time, it’s not just about them being late. It will annoy you for a specific reason. It could mean it's holding up everyone else and that's disrespectful or when people are late, it could mean we miss out on watching the start of a play, a concert, or even a Christmas service.
With the example of someone not helping you with the meal, it could be because it's stressful for you or you're unable to enjoy the day because you feel like you're just slaving away in the kitchen.
Step 1: You know your feelings.
Step 2: You know how that's impacting you.
When you know which of your values are being dishonored, you're now at the point where you get to make the decision if you will share this with others or not.
That's the decision you get to make. If I look at the two examples, again, someone being late, if you share with them, “Hey, because you're late it’s caused this to happen for me.” You might get a good response, especially if this is someone who cares about you as equally as you care about them.
This brings me to the next step of redesigning relationships when people are dishonouring your values. If you do have a bad relationship with someone in your family, you might need to redesign before any situations come up at Christmas time or in the holiday season.
But if you share with them in a way that is genuine and honest, without lots of emotion, just really stating the facts, they might change their ways.
If you know certain people are usually late, maybe tell them an earlier time for them to come. Another option is to tell them how important it is to you or the reason why you really want them there at a specific time.
If it is around something like helping out, then have set chores or tasks or ask people in advance to do specific things. You don't have to make the whole dinner yourself. If you're bringing people to your house for dinner, then invite them to bring something with them. People love when it’s clear how they can help. I find they're always asking what they can bring. Actually tell them what they can bring so you don't get 50 bottles of wine. Instead, you get maybe five dishes and five bottles of wine. That would make your night or your day a lot easier.
If you're feeling like “I don't want to make a big deal of it in advance”, then take note of how you're feeling in the moment and ask for some support.
Whatever it may be, deal with it in the moment so that it doesn't ruin your whole day.
So what do you do when you're annoyed this holiday season?
Check-in with your feelings and the cause of what's annoying you, it could be your values. Then express with others the impact of that and you might have to design or redesign relationships.
If you want to know more about designing relationships, I encourage you to pick up the Dynamic You book so that you can read the whole chapter on collaboration where I teach you how to design and redesign with family members, friends, colleagues, business partners, whoever it may be.
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
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In my last blog, I shared the one shift to make to stop wanting to change yourself and how I did it myself. The key thing is to stop focusing on changing yourself and instead change your actions. Now I’m going to share a couple of stories from my clients on how this worked out well for them.
Client Story: Changing actions in her business
How you ever felt:
This happened to one of my clients recently who joined my VA Made Easy Program. Once she said she wanted to be part of the program, some emotions set in. You see, it's a program where I hire your VA for you and help you delegate and train with your virtual assistant using my tools and systems. As I shared about the steps and the benefits, she realized how hard she had been on herself, and that she wasn’t the problem.
She felt relief and shared:
When she realized, “Wow, it's not me who needs to change. I can instead change the actions I take and decide who to delegate the actions to.”
Rather than feeling like she was failing as a person or there was something wrong with her, once she was aware, she was able to make adjustments. Maybe you've been there too where you felt like, “There’s something wrong. I can't put my finger on it.”
When you improve your actions, you can improve your life and then you will improve yourself. As I mentioned in my last blog, for me, when I start to change my mindset and change my actions around my health, I have more control and better results.
Client Story: Changing actions in relationships with others and at work
This next client told me how she felt like she was being walked on. She wasn't as confident or showing up as confidently in her life. She thought:
Did you know that the number one limiting belief is “I am not good enough”? That comes from the research Brene Brown has done. I also see it every time I do the Dynamic Year Program when we talk about limiting beliefs. It ends up being the number one limiting belief because it underlies every other limiting belief.
What we realized is she felt that, “I can't change myself. I'm just not a confident person. I'm just not this type of person.”
She was putting the focus and pressure on the wrong area. Instead, we changed some of her actions. We changed how she set boundaries with people and how she enforced those boundaries. We also had a practice of reviewing her accomplishments and her achievements so she could see how good she was.
Her confidence grew. Her ability to lead grew. How others saw her grew. She didn't have to change herself. She had to change her actions around her confidence.
Now, doesn't it seem a lot easier to bring in more positive habits rather than focusing on having to completely change yourself? You can have more confidence through the actions you take rather than having to change yourself.
Those are just two stories of many showing how making that shift from thinking you have to change yourself to being able to just change your actions has been really helpful for my clients.
I know you want to improve yourself. You want to be the best version of yourself. But that's an improvement. That's elevating. That's not completely changing yourself. Now, I do have to make it clear that if who you are is toxic or negative, or there's someone in your life who is that way, yes, they should change who they are.
But a lot of times, it's changing the actions that make more sense, right?
How many drug addicts are wonderful people when they're not high? They don't need to change themselves. They need to change their negative actions that come from bad choices.
For my clients who are joining the VA Made Easy program, they're now excited to realize, “This is amazing. I'm changing my actions, which is going to help me to be a better CEO, to live my passion more, to be who I truly am.”
That other client of mine who finally was able to step into her full confidence. It's not because she wished it. It's not because she decided, “Boom, I'm going to be a confident person.” It's because of the actions she took that helped her be confident.
Today, I'll leave you with this. You have the choice to be yourself. You have the choice to also then step into your power and change your actions so you can be the person you want to be. You can do it and it might just be easier than you think!
P.S. If you’re not yet a member of our free community, Dynamic Women Global Community, I encourage you to join. It’s a community for female business leaders to come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired.
Do you feel like you have to be different? Do you feel pressured by society to change yourself?
In this blog, I'm going to share with you the ONE shift that will stop you from focusing on how you need to change yourself.
Yes, you can stop believing you have to change yourself.
The problem is when we have to change ourselves in every single area of life, it's tiring and hard. You want to be focusing on your passions, maybe your business, your career, and you don't have to be thinking about, “How do I need to be different in all of these different areas.”
That is tiring. I know it. I've been there. My clients have been there. But you don't have to be as well.
The ONE Shift
This is the one shift that's going to stop you from focusing on changing yourself. Now how do you do that when we're constantly told to be different?
All these negative comparisons put pressure on YOU. That’s hard.
Rather than changing ourselves and feeling like we'll be more successful when we change who we are, instead, we can think about changing our actions.
You don't have to change yourself. Instead focus on changing your actions.
We don't have as much power and control over changing ourselves, especially when biologically we are a certain way. You might think, “Oh, if only I was more tech-savvy.” Well, if we changed our actions, we could be more tech-savvy.
Look at the things you're doing, your…
How I made this ONE shift
I am a recovering perfectionist and have some bad habits. I’ve been very hard on myself. I’ve often compared myself to others. I also challenge myself to do better all the time. As much as I have worked on myself over the years, I've been struggling with how I am not as fit as I used to be.
I have been focusing on how I look now is wrong and I need to change myself.
I am not looking like an athlete anymore, so I feel like I need to change myself to be that again. I was a varsity rugby player. I’ve been an MVP of many sports and an OUA All-Star. I’ve had lots of physical achievements in my past. I need to change myself to be fit again, to be thinner again, and to be stronger. I feel like I need to change myself, but this is causing me to be really hard on myself.
I realized that's a lot of pressure to put on myself. That's a big burden to have to change my appearance completely, especially when I've had two kids and I’ve had many injuries over the past few years.
I am still a great person and my value doesn’t come from my appearance. You may have had this feeling of “If only I was this, like them or if I was that again”.
It doesn't have to be around weight or your appearance. It can be about your personality. It can be around your skills and talents.
Then I thought, “Take your own medicine, Diane. Listen to the things you've said to others.”
I often talk about the BIG myth we're led to believe by society, ‘We have to change ourselves.’ Instead, ‘We have to change our actions.’
That helped me realize, changing myself directly to an athlete is pretty hard. So what would be better… is to change my actions.
My actions of:
This shift has helped me to put some positive changes into my life and I feel more hope and more in control.
In my next blog, I will share with you stories of how my clients made the shift from focusing on changing themselves to focusing on changing their actions.
P.S. If you haven’t yet, join the Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook and be part of a group of female business leaders to come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired.
Everyone wants to get ahead at any age. Are you someone who wants to…
If you answered “yes” to any of these, then you're needing to get ahead and invest in your life in some way or another.
You can get ahead at any stage, whether you’re 9 or 90.
Let me share with you stories from two people who have had a big impact on my life. You can probably see some of yourself in them. But if not, it's going to be a really great reminder that you need to be doing the things they did so you too can get ahead
My daughter’s story
My daughter loves art, she goes to art camp and she asks for art supplies for every gift. Back when she was 9, I noticed that Harmony Arts Festival in West Vancouver, BC, Canada was having an art call for children. I thought maybe she wanted to submit some of her art, so I asked her.
She said, “Yeah, Mom. I want to do it.” But she was a little bit nervous at first. She was questioning if she should do it and what piece she should submit.
Then, she found the perfect piece. It was a sailboat, and she was very proud of it.
Based on the timeline, we had to choose something she already had done because we were very limited in what we could have her submit. But then she noticed there was a little pen poke mark in it so she wasn't going to be able to use that piece. She was very, very disappointed.
The art show was called, “For the Love of Art”. They were putting up a gallery at the Harmony Arts Festival and then people can bid on these different pieces. That’s why my daughter wanted it to be a great piece.
I also thought it was important for her to foster her love of art and to teach her that this is what happens to artists who have a business. They submit their art and they go to shows or galleries. Then there's the potential to sell and make money from a piece of art. That's the way that business works.
She was very disappointed that she couldn't submit her sailboat piece and especially because Harmony Arts is right on the beach. It would be a great piece to choose. Then, she went through her other pieces and found another one, but this was from two years ago when she was younger and had less ability.
She did submit it anyway, and she was accepted. I was very excited for her! The deadline to drop off the piece was about four weeks later.
But, our family went on vacation. There were lots of trips that happened and we missed the deadline. I told her it was my fault. I said to her, “I'm so sorry we missed the deadline to drop off the piece so you might not get in the show.” She responded, “Well, can you ask them?” Of course! So I sent an email and thankfully they said, “No problem, drop it off.”
We then went to the Harmony Arts show and we found her piece on the wall. They framed it, and it was beautiful. My daughter had that moment of “Wow, look, my piece is framed professionally in an actual show… with my information and name on it.” It was such a cool thing.
For her, getting ahead meant:
But this took us to the next stage of people bidding on her art. What I noticed was that on half of the pieces in the show there was no ability to purchase the art because the artist wanted to keep it. But for the other half, a lot of people had bids. At this point in the show, she didn't have any bids yet and so I felt bad for her.
I pushed the idea of “This is amazing!” and “Your piece is here!” She still had the rest of the week for people to put bids in.
Many days later, close to the end of the show, we came back, and we wanted to see if there were any bidders. Honestly, I didn't want to see it because I didn't know if I needed to go and bid on it. I saw that the auction sheets have been taken down because they are already reprocessing them for the people that purchased them.
I was going to go ask if there were any bids on it. I then saw two people talking about my daughter's piece. I called her over and said, “Come here, those people are talking about your art. You should go talk to them.”
She was so nervous, so we went together. The people said they were trying to figure out if it was the four seasons. I told them, “Well, the artist is here.”
My daughter then had this conversation with them. She told them what medium she used, which season was which, how she got the lines in it, what type of paper she used, etc. She got to have a moment where she was THE artist.
As a mom who wants to kind of facilitate a positive situation, we went over to the office, and we asked them if there were any bids. The person was flipping the sheets. I see all the bids on all the other pieces. Then, it comes to my daughter's piece, and she says, “Oh, yes! There was someone named Kelly who purchased her piece for $50.”
That's amazing. They also said, “We're going to send her a check for $50 in the mail.” I was thinking about my daughter’s cut because galleries take a cut and we were also informed about it at the beginning. I thought it was fair since they framed it and did all the facilitation for it. They said that they decided to give her 100% of the sale.
My daughter was super excited! She's getting her first payment for her art! It's funny, as we walked away I said, “Wow, isn't that great that someone bid on it?” Then she goes, “Oh, I had a few bids.” She already knew because she ran over another day to check. There was at least one other bid of $30.
I know that that experience for her is going to foster so much into the future.
I'm asking you right now, for yourself, your children, or people around you, what experience do you need to have to be able to get ahead and to jump in early in your development?
If you don't have that experience, it doesn't matter. Just jump in and do it. I know the people who have been part of the Dynamic Women's Secrets Books have just loved that moment of holding the book and feeling like, “Oh, this is true. I'm an author. Oh my goodness.”
So just jump in. That's how you’re going to get ahead - by having these experiences before you're truly ready.
Getting ahead in your 90s
At Toastmasters, I met a gentleman named Yan. He was a Norwegian boat builder. I talked with him quite a bit about his life and more so his life as a senior.
In his 70s, he learned fencing. Then in his 80s, he wrote his first book. When I met him at Toastmasters, he was in his 90s. Oftentimes, he would fall asleep because this was a 7pm to 9pm meeting. He had driven over from Bowen Island, which meant he took a ferry over and so he was quite tired by that time of day.
It was really fun and we'd have to yell over, “Yan! Yan! Wake up. It's your turn to speak.” He would jump up and shuffle over with his cane. He was so funny because he was sometimes a bit crude in his jokes and in what he'd share, but boy was he full of life.
He would take me out to the senior center before our meeting, and we'd have a meal together and chat. It was so much fun. One day I asked him, “How do you stay so young, Yan? You're in your 90s and you're coming to Toastmasters. How do you stay so vibrant at an older age?”
He said, “I keep trying new things. I keep challenging myself. I keep giving myself a reason to live.” We want to keep getting ahead at 90. I'm not saying you have to have these amazing big challenging goals and drive yourself forward, push yourself, be stressed, and work too hard.
But he said, “I’m not letting age be a factor. I've watched too many of my friends die because they've given up on life. They don't have a purpose or a reason to live.”
That for me was so eye-opening, yet so sad to know that he continues to watch people have no purpose in life, they are stagnant, and they're not getting ahead anymore. That's why he continued to dive in and bring himself to new experiences and also why he’d take people out for a meal… he wanted to keep living.
As I share this he has passed. But boy, did he have the most interesting, exciting life, even into the final years of his 90s. It's really impressive.
I wanted to share these two stories with you about getting ahead… about living your passion… about diving into new experiences. I could have named this blog “Live Your Life” or “Live on Purpose.” But really, it is about getting ahead and moving yourself forward.
I wanted to share these two stories with you about getting ahead… about living your passion… about diving into new experiences. I could have named this blog “Live Your Life” or “Live on Purpose.” But really, it is about getting ahead and moving yourself forward.
My recent push is Stand Up Comedy Classes. It’s challenging me, scaring me a little, and also growing me as a person.
Let me know what you choose to do. You'll inspire me, you'll inspire others.
P.S. Are you wondering if you're a workaholic? Or maybe you wear the badge of being a workaholic with pride? Then take this quiz to find out.
Read my other blogs here:
1. C.A.T.E.S - 5 Things That Will Help You Move Ahead
2. 5 Things That Can Help You When You’re Sick
3. 6 Ways to Get Paid What You’re Worth
Is work your default? Are you realizing you don't really have a lot of free time or you're not prioritizing it?
In this blog, we’ll talk about how you can spend time doing the things you love.
When you can’t do what you love
I love playing soccer. I have played soccer since my parents put me in as a little kid. I'm 43 now, and I still play. However, there have been times over the past couple of years when I haven't been able to play. On separate occasions, I…
The pain from those injuries also came back a few times which hindered me from playing. It wasn't until I wasn't able to do it that I realized how much I love playing soccer. There are times I can't play because I'm away or I'm doing work stuff, but that's understandable. But it's when I want to play and I can't play that I realize the sadness of not doing what I love.
Why doing what you love matters
Doing what you love gives you energy. It puts you in a resonant state where you're driven, you're pulled forward, and you're excited. It also gives you joy. But when we just work all the time we miss out on these benefits. Even if your work gives you joy, that's not the only area of life meant to satisfy you - there are nine others!
What I see so often in successful, high-achieving, driven women is we give up or we reduce the amount of attention certain areas of life get because we are working so much and we are driven by our work. The top areas I see get dropped are health, fun and recreation, and friends.
The Hardest Questions to Bring Clarity
The hardest question sometimes to answer is, “What do you like to do?"
When I used to be an ESL teacher and I was living and working in Japan, one of the first questions my students learned and the 1st question when socializing was, “What are your hobbies?”
It was so weird to hear because I thought native English speakers never ask each other that question. Instead, we might say, “What do you like to do?”
So what do you like to do? You might answer, “I like to clean”. Definitely not true about me. You might say, “I like to help my clients”, but I'm encouraging you to go to something else that will bring you joy from other areas.
Something that grows you and brings you energy. It might be:
Now we're getting into the realm of hobbies and personal activities that bring us joy. Then think about what are the things you LOVE to do:
Those are the things I love to do.
But so often our time gets put into the things we don't love or the things we don't even realize we're choosing to spend our time doing. By “spend”, I mean, it's gone.
I remember complaining to myself, “I just don't have time to read.” Then I thought, if I added up all the minutes of scrolling on my phone or how many TV shows I watched, I could have read many books. I do love reading. I'm currently listening to Les Brown, Simon Sinek, and Power of Why. I love these different types of books. I yearn for more of it. But the problem is, when we're away from it, we forget what it's like. We forget what we love to do.
Another question is “What is something you’d like to do?” Something you haven’t done before. When I asked myself this question a couple of years ago before COVID, I answered African drumming. I also answered dancing. I also answered pottery. These are the things I'd like to do. And the most recent is a Stand Up Comedy Class.
Now, get a pen and paper or use your notes app on your phone. Answer the following:
The 3 Ways to Spend More Time Doing What You Love
Now how do you find time to do these things? answer these questions:
#1: Plan these things into your schedule
If it's not already innate for you to read every day, and you like reading and work is your default or watching TV or scrolling or whatever it may be, then you actually need to write it into your schedule between 7:30 and 8AM or between 8 and 9PM I will read.
If you don't, it just gets pushed and pushed and pushed and forgotten. For myself, when I see that plan in my schedule book at a specific time and I’m busy with other things, I then have to make a conscious decision to skip it.
But how many times do we write in our schedule or have our calendar:
Now, I'm not saying these are bad things. I'm just saying if you're not doing the things you love because you're doing these other things, maybe it's time to put a plan in your schedule.
#2: Make it special
Think about how you can make it special and how you can elevate what you're doing so you start to look forward to it.
If you were to write that in your planner it makes it more enticing. You shouldn't have to make it enticing, but the problem is we've moved so far away from fun that it feels foreign or like a guilty pleasure, and we shouldn't do it. But if we plan it, and we make it special, then maybe we will be more persuaded to do it.
#3: Commit to others.
You will not find me practicing my soccer skills at the local park. However, you will find me training at practice with the team in order to get better at the thing I love. When I did the drumming class, sometimes I didn't want to go because, in the beginning, it was hard. I thought it would be easy and super cool. It was cool, but it was not easy. So I had to commit to being there by paying and also saying I would show up so that I would actually go to get through that first learning hump.
Have you heard your inner voice say:
When you commit to others, you won't back out. When you commit to others, you commit to yourself too.
Now it doesn't mean you have to do it with others, just tell people what you're going to do. Maybe you commit to an accountability buddy or to your coach.
Again, it seems funny you need to commit to something that you love. But time and time again, work is the default for people. They're not spending their downtime doing what they love which will also bring the passion back and refill their bucket.
There are so many holes in our buckets that we can be constantly depleted. Self-care, resting and vacation time can help. But doing things you love is an investment in yourself in really building that foundation of joy and excitement. It's a way for you to stretch and grow yourself as well.
In saying this, I'm probably also speaking to myself, right? I need to put the clicker down and not watch so much TV. I need to be more intentional with what I am spending my time on so that I can be investing my time in the things I love.
I encourage you to do the same thing. Let me know which of these three steps is going to be the piece that really helps you to invest more time in doing the things you love.
Also, let me know in the comments, what are the things you love to do? Because maybe in you sharing it will inspire me or someone else to take up the hobby you have or your favorite activity.
Over the past few years, I have lost a few close connections way too early. It just breaks my heart to think of how they or someone else you know worked really really hard and didn't have enough time to enjoy life. Be present, take care of others, and go out and do those things you love.
Read my other blogs here:
1. The Six Levels of Shining
2. How You Can Prepare to Make Better Decisions
3. What if We Didn’t Need International Women’s Day? 5 Ways to Raise Women Up
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