6 Common Factors Causing You to Feel Like a Fraud

Have you ever felt like a fraud, a fake, or an imposter? In this blog, I’ll share the 6 common factors that cause you to feel like one. In my next blog, I will share the common signs of being an imposter and the things you can do to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud

Why you should care

Well, because we are dynamic women, feeling like a fraud, a fake, or an imposter will stop you from reaching your goals. I want you to get rid of that nagging feeling of “I'm not really as competent as others perceive me to be.”

Now, you may use the words “impostor syndrome.” It’s similar, but I'm going to talk a little bit more about feeling like a fraud.

Do you feel like a fraud?

Feeling like a fraud is holding us back. It's stopping us from achieving what we want. We shouldn't have to feel this way. I have personally struggled with feeling this way at different points in my career, life, as an athlete, and as a first-time mom. I know how isolating it can be to feel this way. 

I want to help you to stop feeling this way by understanding it better. 

As I said, you feel this way because you think you are not as competent as how other people see you, perceive you and view you. Maybe you feel you shouldn’t be on the pedestal that they put you on. This happens even though you've probably had accomplishments, experiences, or been chosen to be in that position. 

The funny thing is, that studies say that about 70% of people will experience this feeling at some point in their lives. Even high achievers, famous people or celebrities, and people who have won awards can feel like this. 

The 6 factors that can cause this to happen

I’ll start with 3 Internal Factors:

1. Perfectionism
   

You already have extremely high standards that you've either set for yourself, or other people have set for you. Maybe growing up, a parent, a coach, or a teacher gave high standards for you, so you feel like a failure when you're not absolutely perfect all the time. 

I can remember in high school, getting excellent grades, and always handed everything in. Somehow, I missed a homework assignment, so on my lunch break I was in the library trying to quickly get it done, knowing, I was not going to be able to get it completely finished perfectly. I started crying because I was like, “I'm going to lose a percentage because of this”. In the big scheme of things, it didn't matter, but at the time, perfectionism really hit me hard. 

2. Fear of failure

Another thing that could be making you feel like a fraud is a fear of failure. If you feel like, “I don't deserve the successes I've had,” you may go on to say, “I'm not going to be able to have these great results.” Being worried about not succeeding will cause you to lose confidence.

You may feel that your previous good results came from luck or from other people's support rather than your own abilities. Low self-esteem or self-efficacy can also really impact how you feel and cause you to feel like a fraud.

3. Low self-esteem
When you have low self-esteem, it can cause you to self-doubt to not believe that you're good enough. Brené Brown has researched that the number one limiting belief is “I'm not good enough”, even though you might have all the evidence to prove differently. I see this a lot in my programs as the #1 limiting belief.

Those are some of the internal factors that could cause you to feel this way. Let's look at some external factors. 

1. Society’s pressures and expectations of you
What about society's pressures and expectations of you? How many times have you judged a mom for being on her phone on the playground? I'm sure you have, or kids that are on screens while they're at dinner. 

There are expectations of how we need to be in every single role in our lives, and if we don't meet those expectations, then we're not amazing, and we'll feel like frauds. The problem is everyone’s situation is different, and we wear so many hats that we can’t meet every expectation for every role. 

2. Comparing ourselves to others 
Have you ever been scrolling, especially doom-scrolling on social media, and you see the perfect family in matching outfits? You see the amazing business owners with awesome successes happening in the business and all the money they're making? 

There's so much marketing BS out there about how much people are making and pretending that “Things just happened.” Successes don't just happen—they are made with strategy and work. 

I can remember in one of the presentations I do, I share a photo of my family. Everyone thinks, “Wow, such a perfect family.” The truth I always tell everyone is that it’s three photos that were digitally edited together to make sure that everyone was looking at the camera and smiling. There you go, I think I was the only original face and everyone else's was added in. 

When we compare ourselves to others, we feel like frauds because we don't know their backstory or everything else that's happened to help them get there. 

3. Super competitive and unsupportive culture 
The last one is being part of a super competitive and/or unsupportive culture. This could be in your business network or workplace, where people point out the things you're doing wrong and make you feel inadequate. 

When others often tell you about your mistakes and shortcomings, it’s hard to see the accomplishments, growth, and skills you have. I wish we could all work in places where others are truly happy for your success rather than feeling the need to compete or cut you down. 

Wrapping Up

Those are six factors that could be making you feel like a fraud. In my next blog, I will share the common signs of being an imposter and the things you can do to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud.

Plus, if you’re feeling like a fraud and think that you can’t be an author, then I’d love you to join my free webinar on June 18th where I’ll share with you all about the world of co-writing. It will explore your audience, establish your authority, and you’ll be able to leave a legacy. Save your spot here.

Read my other blogs:
1. 3 Main Things to Look for in Collaborative Book Opportunities
2. What Are You Waiting For
3. 3 Ways You’ll Get Left Behind by NOT Being an Author