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We're not meant to be “on” all the time. Have you ever been praised for being “on”, but what if that's the very thing that's draining your power, your energy, and your happiness? What "Being On" Looks Like Being “on” looks like:
If you've ever had to present or coach someone or be in a meeting when you felt tired, sick or drained, but you still had to do it, then that's the moment you feel on. Maybe some of the work you're doing, if you're in the service industry, is emotional labor because you're having to put on a smile, be kind, and helpful to people when maybe you don't feel like it, or potentially they don't deserve it. My Story: My Nervous System Needed Help I've realized my nervous system needs help. I've had to be “on” for so long. Yes, I've made changes. I have two virtual assistants. I don't schedule myself as much. I've set boundaries. But hitting a certain age, being in perimenopause, and all the things that happened over the past five years? My nervous system has taken a real hit. I didn't realize that until I went to my physio because I'd hurt my calf at soccer (yes, I still play soccer, though right now I'm not). In talking with her, I realized that my nervous system needs a little bit of a reboot. In order for me to sustain the business, sustain myself, and be a great leader, it's important that I take the time to be able to do that. Our bodies weren't designed for constant performance, constantly being “on”. Neither was your leadership. Neither is that going to be the best way to be your top self and happy at the same time. The Physical Impact When you're in that constant output, your nervous system can get stuck in fight or flight. It could be mild. It could be severe. For me, it was little things like:
Maybe you've had that too. Some of these things could be stress-induced from the work you're doing, from the high level of leadership that you're in, or maybe the season that you're in as a woman. What Happens When Constant Output Continues When that constant output is happening:
You know this because maybe you're barking back at people, maybe you're putting out a lot of fires, and things feel really urgent. I spoke in a recent post about how you're capable. You're capable, but that doesn't mean you need to do everything yourself. But it's also true that you could be capable and still be dysregulated. Feminine Rhythms vs. Linear Hustle Women are cyclical. We have our cycles. Nature has cycles and seasons as well. This is also referring back to a previous post I did: What season are you in? Are you in a momentum season or a maintenance season? The same thing should be true around these seasons, around our leadership energy. This should also be cyclical. We shouldn't have to be “on” at this high level all the time, all year. I coach a lot of women who say, "I could do this high level output for a little while, but then it just became the norm." If we have that constant output, constantly having to be “on” and produce and perform, it's going to start ignoring our own biology, ignoring our intuition and who we are meant to be. We're not meant to have this linear hustle all the time. We're meant to cycle through things. When we override our nervous system, we override our wisdom as well. You can probably relate that there have been times when you knew you were tired and you knew you couldn't handle anymore, but you were a trooper. You put your big girl panties on and you made it happen. But it's not necessarily a good place for you. Rest Is a Leadership Skill Rest is a leadership skill. Rest is a necessity. I want us to reframe rest in these four different ways: 1. Rest Is Strategic It's a strategy you put into your business so you can come back recharged, more creative, more ready to take things on. 2. Rest Is Intelligent You're smart to rest. Everything has to rest at some point. It's not saying that if you don't rest, you're dumb, but you're not listening to your own wisdom. 3. Rest Is Protective It protects you from getting super sick, from your nervous system going into chaos, from all of these things that we don't want to happen. I once volunteered for an organization, and one of the main people had a nervous breakdown because she was “on” so much. The sad thing is, the pendulum swung, and she went into the complete opposite where she couldn't handle anything. She couldn't even reply to our emails to tell us she couldn't do the role anymore and we had to knock on her door and talk to her husband to find out what had happened. 4. Rest Is Expansive Rest gives you that time and space to get new ideas, to have more creativity, to be able to see the big picture again. We're not limited with blinders because things are becoming too much. My Rest Period I'm writing this in advance of one of my rest periods. By the time you're reading this, I'll be in my second week of being in Mexico, having a real rest, where the only decisions I have are:
These spaces really help me to recharge because I'm not on. That means there's going to be some designing of things with the people I'm with, less expectations, maybe more boundaries. That's why I'm pre-recording my podcast, my YouTube, my blog, doing all these things in advance so that I can have that rest. You can have rest by doing things in advance too. The Choice We have some contrasts here:
It shouldn't be a hard choice for you. It's just about thinking:
What Would Your Leadership Look Like? What would your business look like? What would leadership look like if it included restoration, rest, or recharging? It doesn't have to be two weeks in Mexico. I get that I'm blessed to be able to do that, and I have a supportive spouse (because I do have two children). What would your business look like if you could:
From Performing to Grounded Power I hope that this makes you look at where in your life you feel like you're performing or you're pushing, and that you can start to see where there maybe could be some cycles rather than hustle. It's not that you're not capable of hustling and doing, but it's about being in a different space:
In the world today, that will not only be something that's going to greatly help you, but it can be something that is a legacy, an inspiration, a model to those women and girls behind you as to how we need to treat ourselves so that others start to treat us that way too. Who needs to learn this? Share it with them. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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Have you been living for your vacation, or thinking that "my vacation should be restful, but I need a vacation from my vacation"? Then there's a chance that you are not resting. You're just taking your stress somewhere sunny You need to know the difference between escape and intentional pause. In the moment you are reading this, I'm in sunny Nuevo Vallarta: sitting by a pool, reading a book, chatting with my friend, listening to some great music. I share this for two reasons: 1) it’s what sparked this topic, and 2) I want your vacations to be a time for intentional pause, not just escape from the day-to-day grind. You may be wondering if I am sitting by a pool; did I write it by the pool, or did I leave to work in my room? Neither. Before I go away, I pre-record my content as a video, then my Virtual Assistants take my video, put it on YouTube, publish it as a Podcast, and write my blog from the transcript. I do this so that I can go away and be chill. I'm going to talk about that tactic in a little bit. (Side note: I completely understand that I'm very privileged to be able to go away. And grateful I have business support and my husband’s support. Even though my husband has the financial means to go, he's not fully free in his schedule because he works for a company and has limitations on his vacation time.) I’m writing this because I want all women to have better vacations, more restful vacations, and to share how to reintegrate when you come back so that you feel even more rested. The Assumption High-Achieving Women Make Something I see all the time with high-achieving women is the assumption, “If I go away, I will feel better.” The truth is, you can change locations and still bring the same pressure with you. I have been on many a vacation, or even to masterminds, where the person I am with or the people I am with are still spending a few hours by the pool or still in the room answering emails, working on a project, in meetings and not able to fully relax because they are needed and when they aren’t they're wondering, "Did that thing get done properly?" This could be for someone in a career or running their own business, and I don't want you to have the same pressure when you're trying to take that pause. The Big Distinction There's a big distinction here: Escape: I'm running from something. I'm trying to get away from it. Intentional Pause: Creating space to realign and recharge, or to be re-excited about things. Every vacation, every trip, every time away doesn’t have to be an escape. Instead, the shift is to make it an intentional pause. Vacations don't automatically equal rest, but they can. I know people close to me who are living for their vacations. They work so hard. It's so stressful. They hate their boss, or something about it, and all they want to do is escape. They just want to get away. When you escape, you go on vacation, but you can't fully get away from it. What Escape Looks Like
I definitely don't want you to just change the venue where you're still working super hard while you're away. I can remember being by the pool with a friend who was stressing about a proposal that she had to put together as a presentation. It was thrown at her at the last minute, so she wasn't able to prepare in advance of our trip. I said, "Hey, do you want someone on my team to just make that PowerPoint presentation for you?" She's like, "Really, that can happen?" Having someone else take care of things or help you get ahead when things pop up while you're away is really handy. What Intentional Pause Looks Like Intentional pause looks like:
People say to me, "Oh, I could never sit by a pool for a week." Well, I'm not just sitting by the pool. I am:
That's the problem these days: we don't have this buffer time. We don't have space. Usually, before it would be waiting for a client, waiting at the doctor's office. Very rarely did you have a book or look through a magazine. But now it's just every moment your head is in your phone. There's been research about this: university students have a harder time remembering the information they just learned because right after class they go on their phone, rather than discussing with their classmates what they just learned. The brain is naturally putting things away, sorting the different pieces as we leave one task or experience. Instead, your brain goes straight to "Oh, look at this funny video,” or “My friend messaged me." There's no time for your brain to sort through the information. That's why when I go on these types of vacations, I want to have quiet time with no pressure for anything. How High-Achieving Women Use Travel to Avoid Check with yourself, if these are true for you on how you think of time off or travel:
I've done all of these. I've seen all of these in the women I coach. These can be completely normal things in society, but I don't want it to be normal for you. Signs You're Actually Restoring Yourself on Vacation
The reason is that restoration often feels quiet rather than exciting or exhilarating. Now, if you're the type that's like "That's so boring, Diane, I never could," but are you always on? Do you never have that time to chill? If you don't and you're stressed, this could be the type of vacation that you need: this lower-pressure, slower-paced type of vacation. What I Intentionally Left at Home Here's what I consciously left at home and why it mattered: 1. Major content creation: I did it in advance. I record one video that gets put on my YouTube channel, my podcast, my blog, and all my socials, and my team does the same. I pre-recorded my major content pieces. And I’m editing this blog on the flight. 2. Meetings: The only thing I'm going to be doing is coaching my current clients and even that is reduced. I'm not taking on anything else. Anything I do have I'm trying to groupa few together at a time. 3. The pressure to be productive: If I get to the aquasize class and maybe do Mexican bingo in a day, wonderful. I have no pressure to do it all. I aim to run most days. If I do it, great. If not, that's fine too. 4. The version of me that's always responsible for everyone else: This is a vacation with a friend. She can take care of herself. I can take care of myself. What often happens is we care for each other, which is really lovely. I don't have to be responsible for anyone else's happiness, even hers. I don't have to be responsible for what people are eating, doing or drive anyone anywhere. That is one of the joys of being able to step away without bringing my family. I'm so blessed that my husband is supportive of this. It's not necessarily that I need his permission, but I am so appreciative that he's cool with me going. I told him the other day, "I so appreciate that I get to go. Because you could say no, it's too hard" (because he steps up and he parents both sides, and I know single parents do that all the time, but he's stepping into that). He doesn't guilt me for it. I don't owe him anything. He even said, "You work really hard. You deserve it." I come back a better person. That's, I guess, his reward. How to Return Without Wrecking the Rest How do you return without snapping back into your old habits, without coming back and feeling again overwhelmed or overworked or stressed? Here are a few practical ideas you can easily bring in, even if you just had a weekend away: 1. Have Things Done Ahead of Time Are there things you will need to have done for the 1st or 2nd day back? Then have tasks completed before you go, not just for the trip, but for the first few days when you get back. You don't want any pressure to be doing anything under a deadline. 2. Don't Immediately Fill Your Calendar I like to give myself a two-day buffer after coming back so I can re-enter slowly and on purpose. That's the key thing: on purpose. Otherwise, the calendar is going to get filled with the things that were important to you before you left. 3. Protect One Habit that Came From this Intentional Pause There are certain habits that you picked up that were positive from this intentional pause that you want to bring into life. Is it consistent sleep, reading, eating nutritiously, maybe swimming, other healthy habits, reflection, journaling, whatever it may be? Just pick at least one and protect that. Keep doing it. 4. Notice What Feels Intolerable Now The things that you cannot stand. That's data for you. When your emotions are saying, "Oh, this is so frustrating. Oh, I don't like that anymore. That's annoying," really take that in. That's dissonance. You're not feeling energy from it, you're feeling that friction. So you want to take notice: "Wow, okay, that thing annoys me, or that type of meeting, I don't like that anymore." You get to make a change or improve things. 5. Change One Expectation, Not Everything You might go on this wonderful trip and think, "Oh, I'm going to do all of these things when I get back." You might not be able to get all of those things in place, but if you change just one expectation when you return, one habit, one thing, that is more manageable. Then you can add in more. You Don't Lose the Clarity On your trip, with that intentional pause, you're gonna have some clarity. You might come back and feel like you've lost the clarity, like "Oh, it's just not there anymore. I'm not having the same visions or the same understanding of things." The trouble is, you don't lose the clarity. You don't lose that ability to pause. You completely abandon it. You abandon it because you don’t tap into it by taking a longer pause and maintaining some of that intentional pause as you come back into your regular life. You can, but you choose not to. Final Thoughts What if your next break wasn't a desperate escape from your reality, but instead an intentional pause that's planned? I encourage you to do that. It's not just about self-awareness. It's about actually allowing that, noticing:
I would love for you to have less of that feeling of "I need to run away from my life" and more of coming back to yourself from now until the end of your days. I'm curious: what's your biggest takeaway? I'd love to hear from you. You can email me personally: [email protected]. I really hope that the next time you go away, you feel, know, and implement the difference between escape and intentional pause. Until next time, stay dynamic!
You're amazing at what you do, but not enough people know that you exist, and that's costing you not just money but your confidence. Today, I'm breaking down why being good isn't enough, and why you need a Clarity Plan that shows you the fastest path to cash. You're Really Good at What You Do I'm guessing you're really good at what you do. So many times I coach clients who are really good at what they do. Their testimonials are fantastic. Your clients get results, and they rave about you. You're talented, you're skilled, you're capable. So why are you still stuck at the same income level? The Frustrating Reality Here's what I see in women all the time. They're excellent at their craft, but they're making $40K, $50K, $60K. Maybe they've broken the $100K and gotten into the six figures, while other people who you maybe look at and you go, "They're not as good as me. They're not as educated as me, they don't have as much experience as me," but they're making $150K, $200K, $300K, beyond $500K, even into seven figures. You think, "Why? Why?" Because it doesn't matter how good you are if no one knows you exist. There are other things too that are stopping you from making the money you want, and instead of being the best-kept secret. That is a problem. The Hard Truth Excellence without visibility equals... living below the financial numbers you want to achieve. Potentially, it's pushing a lot of business owners back into careers, back into getting that paycheck every two weeks, and back into having a boss. Maybe that's not what you want. You can be the best at what you do, but I don't want you to be the best and be broke, or the best and not live your best life because you don't have the financial backing to do so. I know it feels unfair, and you're probably thinking, "I've worked so hard at my craft. I have put in hundreds of hours or years of work, and I'm really good. Shouldn't that be enough?" But the thing is, it's not. It's not how good your website looks. It's not how fancy your business cards are. Because there are always going to be mediocre people making 10 times what you're making because they have the kind of secret sauce that maybe you're missing. It's not because they're better. It's maybe because:
Rather than positioning yourself by thinking, "Oh, I'm just a really great coach.” “I'm a really great accountant.” “I'm a really great real estate agent," you're not looking at things through the lens of a marketer. Because they're known, they're getting the business. Or because they're thinking like a marketer, they're able to get the business. What the Best Kept Secret Is Costing You See which of these are true for you: 1. Your Income What I see is people who feel like the best-kept secret are undercharging because they don't have enough demand. They feel scarcity, and so they just take what they can get. Or they charge less because they want to make sure that when leads do come to them, there's a yes. That means you may be taking any type of client who comes along because you need the money. I've also seen a lot of people in this category who will do a lot of things for free because it seems like a good opportunity. They're going to get exposure, or they're going to volunteer because they love their craft so much that they just want to do it. And so if that means doing it for free, then they will. 2. Opportunities It can cost you speaking engagements, partnerships, and media features. They're going to go to people who are more well-known rather than people who are maybe the best. This is even more true as I enter the one-woman-show and acting-industry areas. I've heard there are a lot of closed castings, and it's only who you know and who is known that gets through. A lot of times, when applying for grants, the shows with a known name are going to get the grant. Do you need to get yourself into that position of known AND best? 3. Time You're probably wasting years of work being invisible while less talented people start building these empires, and then you're like, "That's not fair. How did they surpass me?" 4. Confidence I see people in this situation losing their confidence all the time. Because you're not making the money you want to make, because you're not getting the number of clients that you want, you start questioning yourself. You see other people succeeding, and you think, "What am I doing wrong?" I don't want you to be in that place. What You May Be Missing: A Clarity Plan Here's what you may be missing that could put all of the pieces together: a Clarity Plan. One that includes your inner and outer wealth, your marketing, and what's really going to move your business forward. Not Just a Marketing Plan Most people think they just need a marketing plan. "Oh, I'm going to post on social media every day. I'm going to be on every platform. I'm going to become an influencer." But it's exhausting, and it's not fully what you need. It's just a little piece of it. Instead, you actually need a Clarity Plan. Depending on where you are in your business, ask yourself:
The answers to those two questions will help you decide which direction your Clarity Plan takes. It's different for everyone. The Three Questions Your Clarity Plan Answers Question 1: How Is Your Inner and Outer Wealth, and Where Does It Ideally Need to Be? Inner wealth: Your joy, your satisfaction, your fulfillment. Outer wealth: The things that make you money. We need both. Otherwise, you're going to be a really happy poor person or potentially an unhappy rich person. We need both inner and outer wealth to be satisfied in life. Question 2: What's the Fastest Path to Cash for You? A lot of times, people think:
We want to look at:
We want to look at what will work for YOU. What is your fastest path to cash based on your strengths, your audience, and your offers? Sometimes, with clients, even just tweaking the price they offer, the number of packages they offer, or the way they position things. I remember just one tiny tweak we made for one of my clients, and she brought in an additional $5,000 in just a couple of days. By doing the same thing she already did, and with no extra work. She just tweaked a couple of things. Question 3: How Do People Discover You, Trust You, and Buy from You? What's the plan for that? It's not random tactics. It's not hoping people find you. It's a clear path from "I've never heard of you" to "I'm ready to invest." Without a Clarity Plan, you're guessing. You're trying things randomly. You're posting on Instagram, hoping someone sees it (and maybe Instagram isn't the best platform for you). You're saying yes to this networking event, even though you're not getting any ROI (return on investment) from them. You just feel like you're spinning. With a Clarity Plan, you're focused. You know:
That's the difference. My Story: I Was the Best Kept Secret I felt like I was the best-kept secret for years. If people just knew I existed, they would want to hire me. If they understood what I did and experienced it firsthand, they would hire me. A lot of times they did, but there was a gap, right? My clients loved me, and they got results, but I was stuck at that same income level for years. I kept thinking, "If I just get better at my craft, if I just take another course, more people will come." I took more courses, got more certifications and became more skilled. I was excellent, but I was still at a financial point where it just felt like I was broke. I didn't love it. But I didn't have a Clarity Plan. I didn't know what my fastest to cash option was. I didn't have a clear path for how people would discover me. I was just hoping. Even after I took some courses and gained some marketing savvy, it still didn't quite line up. I was doing the things, but I was like, "Why am I not getting the results?" It's funny, I remember being in a program where I was told by the two people running it, "You are one of our top five we have ever seen. You aced your offer, and I enjoyed watching it, so I just don't know why I don't want to buy from you." What Finally Changed I finally invested in getting an amazing coach who helped me to get clear on what I was doing well and what wasn't going well for me. When I got clear, I started to know how to turn things around. I did things like:
I gained clarity on what I really needed to be satisfied with my inner wealth and on how to have the type of outer wealth I only dreamed of. Within six months, my income doubled. I remember one day that blew my mind. I made an offer and earned more than I had the year before. It's not that I got better at coaching. It's because I had a Clarity Plan and I followed it. The Clarity Plan is not something I got from a specific coach. It's something I was able to put together from all these different pieces, "Ah, this is the right recipe for me." That's what I do with my one-on-one clients: I bring them through this so they know who to talk to, what to say, and how to get in front of the right people, so people start finding them. That's what I want for you. I want people to start finding you, not for you to remain that best-kept secret. The Real Cost You probably hear this: people say, "I can't afford to invest in getting clear right now." Let me flip that: You can't afford not to. I'll tell you, when I paid for it, it was a really big investment for me, and I felt nervous about it. But every month that you stay the best-kept secret, you're losing income. Let's Do the Math Let's say you're stuck at $50K, and you could be at $150K right now with the right Clarity Plan. That's $100,000 a year that you're losing. Over three years, that's $300,000. Now, what if I said you could get your own Clarity Plan for just $997? I wish someone had done that for me all those years ago. Because the problem is:
What's the real cost of staying a secret? The question isn't "Can I afford this?" The question is, "How much is it costing me to stay stuck?" It wasn't just costing me financially. It was costing me:
Maybe you feel that way too. The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator If you're thinking, "Yeah, I'm the best kept secret, and I'm so good, but no one knows me. No one knows I exist," I want to invite you to The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator. It's a two-day intensive where we create your Clarity Plan. We're doing this the first week of March, but there are dates continuing after that as well. Here's What We Do: 1. Get Clear on Your Inner and Outer Wealth Goals It's not the same for everyone. They're specific to you and who you're going to be. 2. Map Out Your Fastest to Cash Path We figure out who your best clients are, and map out your fastest to cash. Often, there is the lowest-hanging fruit, which helps you knock out your financial goals really quickly. I help you decide: What offer? What price? What's your path based on your strengths? 3. Build Your Credibility and Visibility Plan How do people discover you? We're going to make you a published author, a collaborative author in the fifth book in the Dynamic Women® Secrets series. We're going to do that because it's going to build that instant credibility, instant positioning. You get to leverage my network, my social media and such. 4. Create a 90-Day Blueprint You'll know exactly what to do on Monday morning. No more guessing, no more spinning, just a clear plan. The Investment: $997 I know some of you are thinking, "I can't afford that," but here's what I want you to know: You can't afford:
Ready to Get Known? If you're ready to get known, I encourage you to message me. Tell me a little bit about you, and I'll let you know how you can come and join in on The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator. Let's build your Clarity Plan together. Let's get you visible. Let's turn the excellence you have into a high income. Contact me: [email protected] Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you ever thought, "I should be able to handle this myself?” If so, this blog is for you because I'm talking about the capable woman trap: why being good at everything keeps you stuck. Are You Really Good at Figuring Things Out? Let me ask you something: Are you really good at figuring out things on your own? I already know the answer is probably yes, because you're reading this, and that's the type of person who reads this content. You're a high-achieving, Type A, capable woman. You're smart, resourceful, and you can figure things out. But that can also be what's keeping you stuck. What Is the Capable Woman Trap? It's really that belief: "I am capable, I shouldn't need help." Where does this come from? You've probably spent your whole life being the person who figures things out in your group of people. How this shows up:
That's when the problem hits. In both scenarios, your first instinct is "I've got this, I can do this, I can figure it out." Then the problem is: it works. You do figure it out, but that reinforces itself. It reinforces the idea that you are capable, that you should be able to figure it out, and so you do it. But every time you successfully solve something for someone else, or you do something for your business alone, you think, "See, I don't need any help. I can do it myself." Why It Feels So True (But Isn't) You think "I can do it myself" because:
Here's What's Actually Happening Below the Surface You're spending your time (spending meaning you're not going to get the time back). You're spending your time, your strategic time, your skilled time, the time that you could be earning $500+ an hour, but instead you’re doing $25 an hour tasks. Do you see where this could be a problem? You've maybe heard this and you know this, but you still do:
Could someone else do those things for you? 100% yes. But you still think:
Your Competence Is Your Cage It's actually keeping you stuck. How competent you are is actually your cage. It's caging you in. The more you prove "I can handle this, I can do it on my own, I can be self-reliant and independent," the more you take on in your own business, the more you take on in your life, and the more people will pile things on you. The more you take on also means:
What I often see in my coaching clients or the women I talk to is that they don't have time for cash flow activities (sales calls, strategy, building partnerships, making the right connections, following up on leads). They don't have time for that, and they don't have time for high-value work like high-level client delivery, creating offers, developing programs (the things your clients pay you for, or the things necessary for you to run a great business in the CEO or manager position). But you can't do those things in your business if you're drowning in admin and other things. A Real Example I worked with a woman who earned $75k per year. She’s very capable, and doing everything herself. When we audited her time, she was spending 15 hours a week on tasks that she could hire someone else to do for $20 an hour. That's like:
Do you think you could make that back if you just had some targeted, specific tasks that you did in your day? For sure. Imagine 15 hours a week on cash flow activities, 15 hours a week in that CEO role or the manager role, both. She thought, "I'm saving money by not hiring help," but she wasn't. She was costing herself money, which is the big shift that needs to happen. Those 15 hours a week she could have been doing sales calls, client delivery, strategic planning, basically work that would generate her $30k, $50k, $100k or more per year. Her capability kept her at that $75k until we had her offloading tasks. Then she broke the six-figure mark, and now she is in multiple six figures. My Own Story I learned this myself. I was stuck at the same income level for about three years. I was working 60+ hours a week (probably 70-80 hours most weeks). I was doing:
I kept thinking, "Once I make more money, then I'll hire help. It's fine that I'm still doing all the things myself." But I wasn't making more money because I was doing all the things myself. Maybe you can relate, or maybe in your life, you're doing all the things yourself and you shouldn't be. I finally made that decision: I need to not just invest in support (a virtual assistant), but in a coach to help me be strategic about it. Even though it felt super scary and I felt like "I just can't afford this," it was like "I can't afford not to." Within six months, my income doubled. Why did I wait so long? And I didn't make more because I worked more. I actually started working less. It was because I finally had that time for those high-value tasks, the high-value work, the cash flow activities, and then the strategy to be able to use that time wisely. The Key Lesson Capacity doesn't scale. Only supported capacity scales. Let me say that again: Capacity doesn't scale. Only supported capacity scales. The two ways to implement this are to hire support to do the work and hire support to coach you, give you strategy and share their proven tools. The Real Cost of the Capable Woman Trap 1. You Turn Down Opportunities You end up turning down opportunities because you just don't have the bandwidth:
Even if you're like "Diane, I would never give up a client opportunity," you might do it in other ways. I was invited to speak at an event. There wasn't really any pay involved (this was earlier in my business), but it was an opportunity to position myself and make an offer. All I needed to do was send them my speaker one-sheet. But because I had to make it myself, I missed the deadline, and they moved on to someone else. That's missing out on an opportunity. 2. You Resent Your Own Success You're really successful, but you're drowning. You're hitting your goals, but you're miserable because you're doing everything yourself. 3. You Take the Long Road You learn as you go instead of learning from someone who has already done it. Or you try to figure out the templates yourself, the strategy yourself, the scripts yourself, the how-tos yourself without just borrowing from someone else who's now providing support in an advisory role. You don't have to figure out tech for six hours. You can just hire someone to do it in 30 minutes. You don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. You can get that advice from others, put it into place, reap the rewards, or get support to get the things done and then reap those rewards. Shift from Capable and Alone to Capable and Supported I don't want you to stop being capable. You are capable. That's not the question. But capable plus being supported beats being capable alone every time. If you think "I love being capable," great, still be capable, but get some support. I remember reading something about Oprah that said, "I had a coach to be successful, and when I was successful, I didn't drop my coach. I got more coaches."
Are they capable? Absolutely. But they're smart enough, wise enough to realize "I can't do it all myself." Do they do everything alone? Never. Because they know support isn't a luxury. It's a requirement as you get to higher levels and as you build from the level you're at into that six-figure and multi-six-figure, up to seven and beyond. The Question Isn't "Can I Do This Alone?" I know you can. And you've probably proved it time and time again. The question is: What's possible when I don't do it alone? That's such a fun question. Sit with it for a moment. What's possible when I don't do it alone? What Support Actually Looks Like It's not about being weak, it's not about being incapable, lack of independence, lack of being self-reliant. No, it's strategic. You don't find multi-million-dollar companies having their CEO answer the phones, make the social posts, and manage their inbox. There are teams for that, there are people for that. Support can be: 1. Handing over work to a virtual assistant for $25 an hour so that you can focus on tasks that are $500 an hour (this doesn't mean you go organize your desk and take a nap during your work day. You still get the stuff done, but you don't have to work beyond your hours) (Want to chat about having one of my VAs support you? Book a time to chat here. 2. A coach who has already walked the path that you're trying to walk. A lot of times, coaches and business owners hire me because they say, "Diane, I know you've done that before. I want you to show me. I want you to give me the insider scoop. I want you to help take something that would take me years to do and help me do it in months, or months to do and help me do it in a day." 3. A mastermind of peers who challenge you, who champion you 4. A team member who handles what you're not good at (like those sales calls) or the things you don't want to do (like your taxes and your bookkeeping) 5. Someone sharing their systems and templates so you don't have to figure it out, you can just follow what they have done My Invitation to You If you've been listening and thinking, "That's me, I'm the capable woman, I've fallen into this trap," then I want to invite you to: The Wealth Shift This last week, I held two events called The Wealth Shift, where I talked about the ways that you can shift yourself to be able to make the kind of wealth that you're wanting to have. This capable woman trap is one of the pieces that I trained on. If you are local or are willing to travel to North Vancouver, BC, then please email me [email protected] to learn about one of our upcoming events. If you are virtual, too far away, and you want to be at our online training, please sign up for the waitlist, because once I have enough people, I'm going to hold that. Dynamic Wealth Accelerator I invite you to my newest program The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator. It's a two-day intensive where one of the things we do is we map out your support structure. Not in theory, not someday when you can afford it, but we map it out now:
Here's what I know: You can't scale doing everything yourself. You won't. You'll reach a threshold where you can't get past a certain place, and you deserve to not be trapped in your own capability. We're also going to go through:
If you want to learn more about the Dynamic Wealth Accelerator, I encourage you: reach out to at [email protected]. Let's get you out of that capable woman trap and into that ecosystem where you're supported, you're not alone, and you can really start to live the life you're meant to live, that freedom life, and have the type of wealth that you're really looking for. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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