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Do you really want more? Or do you feel like you should? What if the “Next Level” isn’t what you actually want?  What does “next level” mean? We continue as high-achieving, A-type people to accomplish more. We are…
We do all these things, and when we get to that next level, sadly, we don't even celebrate. We're already eyeing that next title or that next goal.
You feel like, "I don't get to rest. Rest is for the weak. I am strong," or at least you're pretending to be strong. But here's a reality check question: Do you actually want more, or do you just feel like you should? Virtual Assistant Made Easy Before I started another business, Virtual Assistant Made Easy, I fought it for a long time. I was like, "I'm not doing it. I'm not". This is because I already felt like I had too many programs, too many irons in the fire, and too many things on the go in my life. I was trying to streamline. But people kept asking me,
I was like, "No, no, no, I'm too busy. I can't do it." Then a friend of mine, Michelle, said, "Having a virtual assistant means that the people you're telling to balance their lives can actually pass things off and then have more space to balance. Then on the other side, you're teaching your business clients strategy, and you're teaching them the cool things they can implement, but they don't have the technology know-how or the time to put all of these things into place." She was right. It helped my clients and it helped me. So I started Virtual Assistant Made Easy and built that business. BUT then people said to me, "This is a great business. You could scale it. You could make it so big." The thing is:
At the time, I said, "No," and maybe that will change. Why does this matter for you? Well, you’re getting into the trap of chasing the next success without questioning if you really want it. You need to get real about your goals and so called desires. High-achieving women are basically like trained Border Collies. We see a goal, and we chase it. It doesn't matter if we want it necessarily, if it makes sense for us to go for it, or if it aligns with our actual life goals.  We just see the opportunity. We think, "Yep, I should definitely run at full speed at that," and that's where we need the being and the doing. Being vs Doing We need both. The doing is how the high-achieving woman sees the goal and goes for it without stopping. Which can be a great quality of being decisive and getting into action. The being is checking in on if it feels like the right decision for you. You can ask yourself:
The problem is, if you're not careful, you're going to wake up one day exhausted, juggling a million responsibilities, realizing you don't even like the life you built. That happens. I have met many people who are exactly where they had aimed to be, in their success level, in their finances, in every area of their life, and they get to the top of the mountain and say, "Is this it? Is this where I was supposed to be? Is this even the mountain that I'm supposed to be on? I don't know. I kind of just want to be over there, and I want to be doing that." Are you at that level of success because someone else told you that's what success looks like? For example, in my life, it wasn't a question of if I was going to a university, it was just, which one am I going to? There were timelines for my life. There was a list… This happens, then this happens and then this happens. Success without intention on the being side, is just busyness in disguise. Honestly, we don't have time for that nonsense when life is just way too short. How many people do you know who died too soon? Of people who didn't get to enjoy life? Or people who have lost important things in their life? They maybe finally retired and lost their spouse. They maybe finally got to that high level and then completely burnt out. If we break it down, more isn't always better. Aligned growth matters more. Do we want to be making six or seven figures? Yeah, maybe we do because then the more money we make, the more we can do with that. But bigger doesn't always mean better. More doesn't mean more awesome. Basically, bigger just means bigger—bigger responsibilities, bigger pressure, bigger expectations to always be on. If you're not growing in this right direction towards the things that are intentionally for you, all that expansion, all that growth, all that achievement, it's just going to make you miserable and take away more of your time potentially, depending on how you build the business. It's going to put you in a higher tax bracket. That's for sure. I want you to think about the last time you achieved a big goal. Did you actually enjoy it? Or did you feel that immediate, crushing obligation? "Oh, there's the next goal. I need to go do this. Why didn't I do these things right when I did this goal?" Do you actually celebrate it? I’m linking here the video I did on the motivation mountain, and just listen to what happens when you don’t celebrate. I won’t explain it here because I don't want this blog to be too long. We're taught that success is a ladder. It goes up and up and up and up and you have to keep climbing. But what if success was actually like a choose your own adventure story, so you could go one way then say, "Oh, that looks cool over there," and you jump over. It doesn't have to be climbing up. It can be lateral steps. It can also be a completely different change of direction. Have you heard stories of people who have worked up in corporate and then decided, "I'm going to make art," or "I'm going to go do something I really love to do." Their passion, the thing maybe they started off the side of their desk becomes what they move into, or that they, on purpose, take a demotion, not a promotion. They pull down in responsibility because they want to have the life they are actually choosing rather than one that’s been chosen for them. What if you're not supposed to climb forever either? What if you climbed a little bit and then enjoyed life and maybe built something different, or did different goals that actually fit the lifestyle that you want? New perspective We're going to take a new perspective here. Success is personal. You get to own your unique version of success. We're going to stop measuring life according to success and start measuring life according to our satisfaction. One of my friends built a fabulous business, but she was in meetings all day, and she was pulled out of the tasks that she loved to do. It was not the business she dreamed of building - her success was not making her happy. Maybe success for you isn't a C-suite title or the corner office with a view. Maybe it's not a TED Talk. Maybe it's not managing a team of 50, making seven figures, and writing your 50th book. Maybe it's working just three days a week. Making great money and having time to actually enjoy your life. Running a business that doesn't require you to be on 17 Zoom meetings a day. The problem is, that we often define our success based on other people's expectations. But if your version of success doesn't include what other people deem as worthy or successful, then that's fine. What you can do It's time to either figure out what you really want or scrap everything, start fresh, and redefine what you actually want. Here are three questions you can ask yourself.  First question: What actually excites you now? Ask yourself:
It's not what looks good on paper. It's about what actually lights you up, gives you energy, and gives you fire. If you didn't have to post about it on social or talk about it, what would you do?
Second question: Are you chasing this because you want it or because you think it'll make you look successful to other people? We need to, as I spoke in previous blogs, about the difference between internal and external validation. Look at the things you're doing currently in your life that you're putting your energy towards, the goals you're going after, and ask yourself this question: Are you chasing this goal, this promotion, this whatever, fill in the blank because you want it or because you think it'll make you look successful to other people? Or is it because other people said it's good? Ask yourself that. Third question: Looking at your life, is what you have enough or is it too much? I want you to know that there is a point where you get to say "Enough. Enough. My schedule is full. I have done enough pursuing. Rather than climb the ladder, I'm going to do the Choose Your Own Adventure route." Be bold enough to stop at enough. You don't have to do the big flex. "Oh, I'm doing more. I'm so busy." The question I'm going to ask you is, looking at your life, is what you have to do enough, or is it too much? And is it enough of the right things? There's a myth that you don't have time for anything else. Some people say, "Give something you want done to a busy person, they'll get it done," but that's just shoving in more and taking up more of your time, and then you don't have any time for yourself. Looking at your life, is there enough of what brings you joy to say, "I have a great life"? Wrapping Up Those are some tough questions. If they've raised for you something that you'd like to talk or coach about, then email me: [email protected]. Here are my final thoughts. Success should make us feel great and give us freedom, energy, and happiness, not pressure to climb up to the next step because really with that ladder, it's endless. If we have goalposts we're shooting for, I'll tell you, as soon as you get there, the goalposts will move. The ladder will keep getting higher. It's just really about owning your own life. It's your life. Too often, others will give their opinions on how you should live your life. If chasing that next level, that next goal, getting to the next rung on the ladder, is draining your soul, maybe the next level isn't really what you want, and that's okay. You don't have to get up there and stay up there. You don't have to get up there and push for more. If the next level isn't what you actually want, then don't go for it. You are allowed. You don't have to hustle for the sake of hustling. You don't get a badge of honour for being a hustler, especially at your own expense. You don't have to prove anything to anyone else. You don't have to spend your entire life chasing the next thing when what you already have is pretty darn good. If you're happy where you are, that’s great. Put blinders on and enjoy your life. Before you set your next big goal, ask yourself, "Do I actually want this or am I just running towards it because I don't know how to stop? I don't know how to get off the hamster wheel?" You do. Ask yourself, "Do I actually want this?" and listen to the truth of that answer, and then act on it. I could keep going because I'm just so passionate about this because this has been a lesson that I have had to learn. If you're looking to get off the hamster wheel, if you're looking to like be able to take bold, intentional action towards what's enough for your life, reach out to me, [email protected], and let's jump into a coaching session about this. Stay dynamic. Read my other blogs:
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Today, I'm going to talk about the problem with leaning in and why over-performing won't get you more. This is a little bit of research, a little bit of my personal experience, and a little bit coming from my clients.  For years, there have been some very famous people who have been telling women, "Lean in, work harder, just take on more. You have to prove yourself at every turn." But here's the uncomfortable truth with that: leaning in often just means you do more for less reward, and this puts us in a cycle of overworking, overdelivering, and still feeling overlooked. My personal experience I pride myself on working hard, working quickly, and doing a phenomenal job. But what ended up happening was the big boss saw I could do more, and they gave me more. But the another person in the same position who had less work than me, would still come to me for help with how to do things. Because the higher-ups decided that I could do more work and this guy had less work, he was able to schmooze or connect with the other employees more. When it came down to who was going to pick up our boss's job, they got it. I'm not going to say because they're a man, but in the culture that I was working in, it probably made sense. There was an opportunity there for him to be able to step forward because he had more time to connect with others. While I used my time to basically overperform and was given more and more work put on me. Now you can imagine the hidden cost for me. The fact that I was given so much work and I didn't have time to do the other pieces that weren't part of my job description, but were really crucial to me moving forward. In hindsight, it actually worked out for the best because I did not want that position, but at the time, it was really upsetting for me. Why this matters and the hidden cost of overperformance As high-achieving women, we know how to get things done. There's that expression, right? If you want something done, give it to someone who's busy, and that's just because we have only so many hours and so we can't mess around.  But there's a fine line between being really excellent at your work and being the person that everyone relies on, like my story, work dumping more and more on me, where you're always the one fixing things, having to step up, or going the extra mile. People start to expect that you will not only do your job but more. Not only your tasks, but others, and not only be responsible for your own work, but for helping everyone else get their tasks done, too. It's not just in the work environment, but it's in every area of life. People are going to look to you as the person that they can ask for help and support. What's worse than this is they stop seeing this as you going above and beyond, about you being exceptional, and that they should be super grateful for how you perform. Instead, they see it as your standard. This is how you function. This is how you work. You're always going to be able to do 60 hours of work within 40 hours because you work so quickly. The result of is you have no breathing room and no buffer space. Then you staystuck, like I was. They give you more responsibility but no more recognition. It was like I had to fight for myself and say, "Well, you had two of us doing half of this role, right?" Because we had so much feedback to give and so much to watch and evaluate. We did split it because there was just such a big load. Then it became, "Oh, Diane can handle it all. Great." Then you're working more hours for the same paycheck. People don't realize the extra effort. You still want a seat at the table, but they see that they can get more from you. That's not just in a corporate place, but it's from your clients, it's from family. It's from neighbours and friends and your kids' sports team, music class, and the teachers. It just goes on and on and on. While it is an honour to be asked, it is oftentimes that when we lean in and we take on more, we burn out. Let's challenge this narrative. Instead of leaning in harder, what if we leaned back strategically? We said, "Okay, these are the things I'm going to do. These are the things I'm going to step back from." It’s interesting, when I first started doing this, I began saying no to incredible opportunities simply because my plate was too full. I remember a group asking me to join their board, and I told them, “I just can’t. I’m really busy.” Their response? “We’re all busy.” I replied, “It just doesn’t fit into my life right now.” Then came the question: “Are you worried you can’t do it?” That made me pause. It wasn’t a confidence issue, I knew I could do it, and I’d do an amazing job. (Would they have asked a man the same thing?) What made it even more interesting was that I was the only one in the group with children and mine were young, but that didn’t count for me being busy. I wanted to say ‘yes’ and it was hard for me to step back and not take on more because my old way of doing things, was always…
But now, I had to make different choices. The truth was, it just wasn’t in my path or plan at that moment. I didn’t have the time or energy for it, and that was reason enough. I encourage you, don’t take on more in your life just because you're asked, or just because it seems like the next step, or just because it's an expectation… instead get more strategic about where your energy goes. Stop being the go-to person for things that don't move you forward. I want to be able to do a great job at a few things, rather than a so-so fair job at many things. Stop saying yes to work that doesn't get you paid or promoted. Stop saying yes to volunteer positions. It doesn't have to always help you or move you forward. But does it either bring you joy, satisfaction, a place where you get to use your skills, or is it more dissonance, where there's friction and it's not enjoyable? Stop thinking that if you just keep proving yourself, someone will eventually notice. Because there are so many people in all industries that are like the best-kept secret because the truth is, no one rewards quiet excellence, quiet achievement, or quiet confidence. When people get to know you, they'll respect you more for not walking around and telling people and sharing. But it's as simple as this. It's as simple as someone saying to you, "Hey, Jenny. How's it going?" Rather than just, "Oh, it's good," or, "Oh, my kids did this," or "I had the worst day," or, "Look at the terrible rain." Why don't you share something cool that's happening in your life?
Tell them what's happening in your life. Overperforming Let's break this down. Overperforming often equals burnout, not recognition, not more awards, not more pay, not necessarily even the promotion. Overdelivering doesn't guarantee success. Fully leaning in doesn't guarantee success. Not managed well, it guarantees exhaustion, burnout, and maybe even anxiety. Here's the kicker. The people who get promoted, paid more, and recognized aren't always the hardest workers. Here’s what they do: #1: They're the ones who know how to make their work visible without constantly proving themselves. I didn't walk around talking about how great I was. I didn't walk around talking about all the work I did. I just got it done. Put my head down. Got it done. I didn't make a big deal of it, right? BUT you also need to take note of your accomplishments so you can relay them in performance reviews. #2: They set very clear boundaries, so they're not doing work either beneath their level or out of the scope of their roles and responsibilities. Every job description has roles and responsibilities. I'm not saying don't do work beneath your level. Don't do things outside of your Roles and Responsibilities. There are definitely times when you have to just step up and get things done. But setting those clear boundaries of saying, "My day is done," or, "Oh, thank you for asking me to do that. What do you want to take off my plate so I can get that done?" This type of language is not necessarily easy for a lot of women to say, ask, or get advice on. #3: They own their value instead of waiting for someone else to acknowledge it. A lot of times high achieving, overperforming women are super confident, but on an external level, so they get their value from other people saying they've done well, and other people acknowledging their work where we have to go internal, and that's where we have to get our value from.  I've talked so many times about this quote, I should almost frame it, but the quote is from Business Insider that says, “Men and women view their success differently. Men attribute their success to their innate skills and talents. Women attribute their success to luck and help from others.” How many times have women said, "Oh, thanks, I couldn't have done it without my team, my family, my husband. I didn't do it all myself. Oh, it just happened. It all worked out." Rather than be like, "Yeah, I did a phenomenal job," which many times a man will say, and I'm not poo-pooing a man in this regard, I'm saying, "Good for them. Women, let's do it too." Not all women are getting this wrong. A lot of women are owning their success and their personal confidence, but women who get ahead don't necessarily do more. They position themselves differently. They're making their work visible. They're setting clear boundaries, and they're owning their value. I hope you're gaining from this new perspective of “stop doing more, and start being seen”. A lot of times on social media, I post quite a bit, but I don't post everything that I'm doing. It's funny because people will say, "Wow, you're everywhere and you’re doing so many incredible things." It's because I choose to share, but so many women don’t because they say, "I don't want to seem like I'm bragging. I don't want to seem egotistical." Just change up how you write the posts. Instead, you can write:
It doesn't have to be like, "Hey everyone, I'm the best." 3 Action Steps Here are some specific, actionable takeaways, because we don't want you to be working harder. We want you to be more intentional about where you apply your effort so that you and your effort get to go somewhere and get to reap the rewards. Let's shift from "Let's work and let's lean in all the time" to "Let's lean back and let's go into leader mode." Here are three things that you can do: #1: Stop over-delivering. If you're in a job, make sure you're so clear about what your roles and responsibilities are, and the key performance indicators that go along with that. For example, if one of your roles is to reply to emails, what is the standard? What's the key performance indicator? "All emails must be replied to within one business day in a professional manner.” Just do what is asked of you. You don't have to always go above and beyond for the sake of proving yourself. Yes, you can help people. I'm not saying don’t, but when you get stretched so thin because you're doing other people's work for the sake of proving yourself. You're actually going to look worse because you're not going to be able to deliver on the things you already have to do. #2: Get comfortable asking for what you deserve. When I took on two people's roles, I should have asked for a pay raise. Oftentimes, for high-achieving women, we assume that our amazing work speaks for itself, but it doesn't. We may assume we will get the promotion or what we deserve. We need to advocate for ourselves, whether that's a raise, a leadership role, or simple recognition. We have to advocate. We have to tell others, so start writing down all the fantastic things you're doing and share. If you have your own business, share them on social. Share them on your website. Make them milestones on LinkedIn. Have pictures of it. Have a brag book for yourself. For those of you in a corporate position or working for a company, keep track of all these things. If you have someone that sends you a glowing email back or you have wins, write them down, track them, have them there so that you can walk in for that raise or the promotion, or whatever it is that you're looking for and have proof if they didn’t take notice and it will make you more confident. #3: Move from execution, doing, doing, doing, and leaning in by working harder to a place of strategy where you lean back. Leaders aren't just the best at doing the work, they're the best at directing the work. Shift your focus from being the best worker to being a strategic leader. You don't have to be the best. Sometimes leaning back to see the opportunities is the best option. What do you want to do? Do you want to continue to lean in and over-perform, with the risk of not really getting what you're wanting or pushing to burnout? Probably not. Think, do I want more effort or more strategy? The goal isn't to stop working hard. It's just to make sure that when you work hard, it counts towards what you're wanting, what your goals are, and what your ideal life is for satisfaction. Let's not lean into mindless activities. Doing that is going to lead you to exhaustion, but instead, lean in strategically. Lean in by focusing on visibility, positioning, and setting boundaries with people, because that's how you're actually going to get ahead. Wrapping Up I'll leave these questions with you.
Big questions there. Let me know what your biggest takeaway was from this blog. You can email me [email protected] or if you weren't aware, I record these on podcasts and videos so that you can catch them on the Diane Rolston YouTube channel and the Dynamic Women Podcast. Share this with a friend. If you're not getting my emails yet, now's the time to do that, because I’m going to be dropping some really cool opportunities for you to be able to work with me and get a tax receipt. Now, a lot of you who are already in business are like, "That's easy. I know how to get a tax write off." Those of you who are not, we're actually going to be able to make it like a donation. Get on my email list to be able to do that. Read my other blogs:
The key to thriving as women in business? Connect and collaborate, not compete.  Why are we stronger together? There's this outdated belief that women have to compete with each other in order to get ahead. That's why we have terms like "crabs in a bucket". If the crabs are in a bucket and one of the crabs tries to get out, the others will pull it down. That's why we also have the Tall Poppy Syndrome, where the ones that stand out will be the ones that are cut down or attacked. In a little bit, I'm going to share another visual that I have around women competing for the same spots. Society has also taught us to believe that there's:
But really, that couldn't be further from the truth because when we connect and collaborate instead of competing, we all rise together - we all get to have success, maybe not at the exact same time, but in some way or another, we will succeed. Research backs that up, which is amazing because women who support other women are more successful, more fulfilled, and create a bigger impact in their industries, whatever that industry is. When I chose collaboration over competition One time that I chose to collaborate over compete was when someone else in my community started to do collaborative books, just like I was already doing collaborative books, and she was hosting women's events, and I was hosting women's events. We were very similar.  When we let the walls fall down, we found out very quickly that we both had the same struggles, the same challenges, and we had the same set of morals, values, beliefs, and we both chose collaboration. We've been in each other's books multiple times. We have supported each other's events, each other's endeavours, and we talk maybe once or twice a year just to be like, "Where are you up to and how are things going?" I tell you, we both got to move ahead and move up because of that relationship. Why the Competition Mindset holds us back But you may be thinking, "Yeah, but Diane, I see people online, what they're doing," and "Someone else got ahead of me at work, they got the promotion, and I didn't." There are certain circumstances where you'll get burned, or there is only one spot, but I want you to think about the competition mindset. We don't want it to hold us back. You may have heard about a scarcity mindset or a fixed mindset, rather than an abundance or a growth mindset respectively, but a scarcity mindset is telling us that there's only room for a few women to make it to the top. But in reality, the more we help each other, the bigger we all win, and the bigger space that we take up. It's not women competing against women, it should be women competing against others for the same positions or the same awards or whatever it may be. According to a Harvard Business Review, research shows that women are often overlooked for promotions due to bias. But when women sponsor and advocate for each other, leadership opportunities increase. The more women are talking about other women, and especially in those right rooms, that's where the opportunities for these women will increase, and that's hopefully how we create gender parity. There's supposedly the belief that we won't have gender parity or gender equality until 2158, and if we want more women to be in there, we have to work together to get each other in. Maybe you help someone else, and they get ahead of you, but then they're going to reach out and bring you up. I want us to change how society is around it because the biggest barrier to women's success isn't other women, it's outdated systems and limiting beliefs. Sadly, we see in some countries that outdated systems are coming back. Things that we've already fought for are getting removed, taken away, and hopefully these are just moments in time that they are just because of certain people and the equal right will be brought back in. The other image I wanted to share is a lot of times I work with women who are female leaders in corporate, and one of these times I was brought in to do my Dynamic You Program, and one of the participants said to me, "Diane, I'm not going to be able to be honest and truthful and share my feelings or any vulnerabilities because other women will use it against me." This was really sad because this was a male-dominated industry, a great company who felt that they were going to put together this women's networking group for their staff that are female. I thought that was amazing. You would think you'd all get together and support each other, but she told me how it really was. The image it gave me is like we're playing musical chairs, and women are all going around these chairs, or there are even men going around the chairs, too. Let's say there are 10 chairs, and eight of them are blue and two of them are pink. When the music stops, all the women fight for the two pink chairs because they think that those are the only chairs they can sit in. Rather than feeling they had the right to step into blue chairs too, we as women fight against each other, instead of taking any of the chairs. Shifting your mindset What are you going to do? The answer is - Shift your mindset.  Get away from a scarcity mindset and instead of wondering;
How about if you said, "How can we win together?" Or "How can I support something that she's wanting, and then how could she support me with something that I'm wanting?" The power of connection We need to find a network. We need to uplift our network. According to Business Wire, 80% of women leaders credit networking as a key driver of their success. If you're not part of these networking groups, women's groups, co-ed groups, and you're not building those relationships, you're leaving opportunities on the table. I've had so many doors opened for me and so many opportunities given to me through the people I have met. When they're thinking of who to give a speaking engagement to, or who to refer a client to, they can only do that if they know and trust you. How to connect with women who lift you up Join networks, mastermind groups, professional networks, women-focused business communities. Some will be free. Some will be low-cost. Some will be a higher investment. Even though I said cost, it is an investment. But if it's not giving you an ROI, and you've properly committed, then it may be time to move on to something else. If you currently are in something that is not fruitful, move on, but only if you have actually committed to that group, you've shown up, you've done the relationship building and it’s still not paying off. You can also go on to LinkedIn or other social media. You can connect. You can comment. You can support others. I always pay attention to the people who support me, and I'm like, "Whoa, look at that person. They're liking my stuff. They're commenting." You can also just attend events, workshops, or retreats because you never know who you're going to meet. I've met people at soccer, at the Comedy Club, at church, at so many different places because I was open to learning more about others. Think: Is there someone that you've been seeing online or through some group? My challenge to you as an action step is reach out to them and have a conversation. You never know where it's going to lead. I actually did this recently. I've been reaching out to some women in other countries to connect, to have them on my podcast, to see what synergy is there. It felt a little awkward giving video messages to them to be like, "Hi, you don't know me, but I want to connect with you and maybe have you on my podcast." It felt really awkward. Tell you, I was nervous about doing it. But what's the worst that can happen? Ghost you or say no? I just had a beautiful conversation with an amazing lady, and you'll probably hear her in an upcoming episode. Collaboration over competition What do I mean about collaboration? Some of the biggest businesses and movements have been built through collaboration. They both have networks, and then by combining, they get to cross-pollinate and then cross-harvest with both of them expanding their network and their reach. Now, there are so many different ways you can collaborate. #1: You can partner on events, programs, or business ventures, instead of just trying to do everything solo. If you don't feel like you want to go into something and have a 50/50 contribution to an output, then maybe you could just refer. #2: You could have people that you refer to. If someone's not the right fit for you, and you find that you keep getting a certain person coming to you - for example, I don't really do career counseling. I don't write resumes or cover letters for people. I have someone who I pass to for this need. Pass them to a woman who is right. If you're like, "Well, I don't know." Well, go find them, ask on LinkedIn who is someone who's great at XYZ. #3: Another thing you could do is co-create content. You could do a podcast swap. You could host on each other's webinars. You could have a summit and bring people on or be on theirs. You could guest blog. You could be on their YouTube channel. You can do an IG live together. So many different options or you start your own mastermind, or bring trust or think tank, where you bring together a small group of women who are going to share advice, resources, and opportunities. Mindset shift: Stop thinking about other women's success taking away from yours. Instead, look for where you can collaborate instead. Wrapping Up As I wrap up, I just want to say, let's break the cycle. It's so easy to follow and fall into comparison mode, and I can be so guilty of that, and I compare myself, and it sucks. It feels bad, and you feel jealous or envious or you beat yourself up. But let's flip that. Let's flip that into support mode, collaborative mode, connection mode, and maybe you do start lifting other women up in order to be able to investment in them. Really, with us just celebrating International Women's Day, I want us to think about how we can rise together. Imagine a world where women collaborated instead of competed. Imagine a world where we connected rather than competed. If we could amplify other people's voices. That's why I have guests on the Dynamic Women Podcast. That's why I have my collaborative books because I want to give a platform for other women's voices, words and expertise that I don't have. If we choose to do that, then that's the type of world we're going to create. Because when we build real connections, real collaborations, we all thrive.
The final challenge I'm going to give you today is: find one woman that you can connect with or support and send them a message, make an introduction, start the conversation, send them a video message over social media as I did, and then invite them to a Zoom chat, just to get to know each other. It might feel awkward, but hey, if that's the worst thing that you're doing right now, it could end up with nothing. It could end up with a no, or it could end up with a really cool connection or collaboration. Give it a go, and then let me know how it goes. Send me an email [email protected] or find me on one of your favourite social platforms and let me know if you did this challenge, or any of the little forward actions that I said throughout this blog, and let me know how it goes. If you feel like you want to talk to me about being a collaborative author, about being a podcast guest, please just know that is for women only, because it is the Dynamic Women Podcast and the Dynamic Women Leadership Secrets book. Just reach out to me [email protected]. I'd be happy to have a chat with you about next steps. Until next time. Stay dynamic, everyone. Read more here:
Shockingly, we will never, in our day, see gender equality. But rather than focusing on that hard truth, I will share in this blog what we can do and how, thankfully, the theme of International Women's Day could actually propel us forward.  It is International Women's Day on March 8 every year. It's a really important day. I hope you celebrate it by attending or listening to some sort of International Women's Day event. There are so many all over the place. I'm usually booked and overcommitted to too many events this year because my family has a major trip planned I have decided to step back and focus on them. It’s a day to celebrate the achievements we have had so far, as there are many strides that women have made in leadership roles and for our rights. The theme for this year is Accelerating Action. As stated in their website, “At the current rate of progress, it will take until 2158 which is roughly five generations from now, to reach full gender parity, according to the data from the World Economic Forum.” The scariest part is it seems like we're going backwards in a lot of countries in the world, taking away women's rights that we have earned, that we have fought for, not me specifically or necessarily, but we as a gender have fought for decades, to try to be able to vote, wear what we want and have an education. Sadly, many of these pieces are being eradicated, are being pulled back, and it's horrible. Continuing from the IWD website, “Focusing on the need to Accelerate Action emphasizes the importance of taking swift and decisive steps to achieve gender equality. It calls for increased momentum and urgency in addressing the systemic barriers and biases that women face, both in personal and professional spheres.” A lot of times this is pointed to the Western world, and I will acknowledge the privilege that I have being a Caucasian woman in Canada. For all the women in other countries where women have less rights or even no rights, my heart aches for you. For the women in the same country as me, who are marginalized, my BIPOC communities, I stand with you. As women and as a gender, we need to break these barriers and injustices. How to Accelerate Action There are many ways we can accelerate action. There's actually a list on their website. So for my piece I'm going to talk a little bit more about women redefining success and leadership. #1: Breaking the Glass Ceiling There is something called the glass ceiling. Here's a stat that I pulled from wbcollaborative.org. As of 2024, women hold approximately 7.8% of CEO positions in S&P 500 companies, a slight decrease from 8.2% in 2023. That's pretty sad. Less than 10% of these CEO positions are held by women. How are we going to change the economy, industries, business, and society, if we don't have as many women in these roles?  When I was preparing last year for my International Women's Day event for the LEAP conference by Women in Construction, I pulled up more facts around the broken rung phenomenon, and this actually is where I focus my energy more than breaking the glass ceiling because I think that's been around for decades. People are like, “Well, I can't get to the top.” The reason is the first rung of the ladder is broken, meaning you can't even get up the ladder to break the glass ceiling because you can't get past one of the lower rungs. If you can't get past that, you can't get up the ladder. Stats from mckinsey.com say, “Despite these advancements, women often face challenges such as gender bias and the "broken rung" phenomenon, where for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 81 women are promoted.” This is just for the manager roles. Not even in CEO roles. That’s much less. That number just gets lower and lower, all the down to less than 10%. If we can just focus on how we move ourselves up to manager, getting sponsors in the company, meaning people who will vouch for you, people who will be in the boardroom and say your name, people who will mentor you to that next position, and people who have the power to choose the woman when there is an option. A lot of times, because I coach women, I talk about taking these things back into your own hands, seeing how you can fill in that rung or basically jump past it. It might mean you have to go to a different company to be able to do that. But the onus shouldn't always be on the woman to figure out how to get up the ladder. I think it should be those who are in the company with more authority in the organizational chart of the company, people above them, there should be succession planning and building of leaders, younger leaders, inexperienced leaders, building them up in equality of women and men because we lose a lot of women in the workforce due to pregnancies and having children, and while that's fantastic they are having a family because they have the right to do that. Women are totally able to make their choices for themselves, but we need to put more energy into them getting up the ladder. #2: Shifting from the ‘Shoulds’ to True Success The second thing beyond breaking the glass ceiling and being able to get past that broken rung is shifting from these ‘shoulds’ to true success. When we think of traditional metrics of success, we think of titles, salaries, promotions, and then we think of what you can do because you have more money.
But these ideas are evolving as I speak more about “let's switch from really measuring our life according to success”, and “let's measure our life according to satisfaction”. I believe that and I'm seeing it in a lot of the younger generation, they're valuing their life balance and their mental health and freedom a little bit more than maybe my generation or those ahead of me. We valued loyalty, commitment, hustle and not letting anything faze us. We stick to what we say we will do no matter what. But many women are now prioritizing purpose-driven leadership and values-based business models. I love that, and a lot of companies are doing really well when they are value-based. It’s not just about making a quick buck. It might be about giving back to charity, about building a sustainable or an ethical business, about hiring local, about making and producing local purpose-driven leadership. It might be around actually supporting the customer and the client, rather than just increasing the profit margins. What we can do in our own lives is shift from those ‘shoulds’, like “I should do this, I should do that” to “What do I really, really want” and stop measuring our lives according to success and start measuring our lives according to satisfaction. I've been preaching that forever, and I'll continue to preach it. It's a simple, yet powerful shift. When you wake up tomorrow, ask yourself, “What do I want? What do I want today?” You may be like, “Well, I'm already committed all day.” But maybe you have 10 minutes, and what do you want in that time? Then what do you want three months from now? What do you want in your free time on the weekend? What do you want a year from now? What do you want five years from now? What will truly make you happy, not just what will make you successful or be perceived successful from external achievements? #3: Leading with confidence and authenticity The last piece is leading with confidence and authenticity. There are so many different leadership styles, whether you are a servant leader or believe in service leadership. BTW we have an author speaking about that in our Dynamic Women Leadership Secrets book. It’s important to embrace all these different leadership styles. This is going to help us as women to lead more effectively and fulfill our careers.  We're not just stepping into the shoes of potentially the man before us, or the woman who had to act like a man to get into that position before us, we get to show up in our leadership style, and we have very special leadership styles as women, and so we need to tap into those qualities and really just show up as who we are. Even if people think we're a little bit too much, let's take up some space because it's obvious in the world that we have to be honest and blunt and bold and be not aggressive, but assertive in how we show up. That's something you can do every day: speak to what is important to you. If we go back to the values-based business model, purpose-driven leadership, we can also have that for our lives. What is our value-based life? What is our purpose-driven life? How are we going to show up that way? And really focusing for ourselves and for the teams we're growing, or for the employees we're leading, or for our even just our family and friends. What strategies can we use to leverage emotional intelligence? EI is huge for being able to know ourselves and to be able to show up, honouring how we feel, being aware and intuitive of that, and then taking the next step, not only for ourselves, but in our interaction with others. The other piece of leading with confidence and authenticity is to foster inclusive environments. We've heard recently about the US government not honouring DEI anymore, and whatever you believe around culture or gender or whatever it may be, we need to foster inclusivity. Even if everyone is exactly the same and everyone likes each other and there are no major differences, we still need to make sure everyone feels included. Now that doesn't mean that if you're a solo business owner, you need to make sure everyone in the world sees themselves as your client or your customer. No, I mean the environments that we're creating need to feel inclusive, that people are welcome to be there, and if you’ll make a group that is just for your culture or your community or your faith, that's okay. But if someone is curious and wants to find out more, do you open the door to them? Do you have a loving conversation? Do you allow curiosity? If it’s a workplace with a lot of different kinds of people, do people feel supported? Do people feel heard? Do people feel like they belong and are honoured, supported, and cheered on for their own skills and talents and ways of being? Wrapping Up When we think back, Accelerating Action means, let's speed this up.
I trust if you've read this far, you're on point with what I'm saying, and if this brings up for curiosity or confusion where you wonder, “I don't know how to do this piece. How do I take bold action? I don't know how to measure my life according to satisfaction, rather than success or whatever it may be” reach out to me [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic. Read my other blogs:
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