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You’re the Woman Who Wins: Confidence and Identity Shifts for Female Entrepreneurs

10/29/2025

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Have you ever looked back on something you did in the past and thought, “Who was I then? How was I so confident, yet so naive—or so new and fresh at what I was doing?”
The truth is, you achieved it because you decided to be confident—or whatever quality you needed at that moment. Your identity drives your success, habits, energy, visibility, and results.
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Because you don’t get what you want. You get what you believe you are.
And that’s what we’re diving into today: confidence and identity shifts for female entrepreneurs.
The Chicken and the Egg
Do you become confident because you’ve done the things, or do you first decide to be confident and then achieve?
In high school, I decided I’d be the graduation MC. My mom said, “I don’t understand how you could ever do that.” But I thought, I’ve never done it… I’ll just step into the role. 
Being naive meant I had fewer expectations. I didn’t need to know how to do it or even expect a great result. I just gave it a try and loved it.
Same thing with rugby. As a rookie varsity kicker with everyone watching, I had to walk up like I was confident. At that level, every kick could win or lose the game. So I became the person who would do well and thankfully, I kicked 7 for 7 in that first university game.
Your Reflection Point
As you read this, ask yourself
- Where can you choose to be more confident?
- Where can you be more of who you want to be (the person who wins)?

I’m going to share the benefits, obstacles, and problems if ignored and a call to action you can implement in your life, business, or career.
From Faking It to Owning It
This idea that you can actually be the person who does something, who wins, who's confident before you achieve it. That's the whole idea of faking it till you make it. But instead of faking it, you're going to actually own that quality. 
Whatever you need to do to be able to own that quality, it's actually going to help you more so than actually doing the task, because it's going to help you to get into a place of ‘being’ when you go to do the ‘doing’.
The Benefits
  1. Fast Track Your Growth:  When you make aligned decisions from your empowered identity, you skip steps because you’re already being who you need to be to reach those milestones.
  2. Magnetic Confidence: I've seen speakers who were terrible, but so confident that you think, "Wow, good for them." I've seen speakers with great content who weren't confident, and you felt uncomfortable watching them. When you own your confidence (whether loud and proud or calm, steady, and grounded), people are drawn to you.
  3. Stop Doubting Yourself: You start embodying your future self now. In coaching, we often do “future self” exercises. I remember meeting mine 15 years ago—she felt so distant. But embracing her essence helped me grow into her. One day, I realized I was her.
A Quick Fact: Identity-based habits (who you see yourself as) are three times more likely to stick than outcome-based goals. Believing "I am a healthy person" works better than "I will do healthy habits." Believing in who you are matters way more than the plan of what to do.
Many clients say, "I just don't know why I'm not motivated to do these things," or "I feel like an imposter." These feelings happen even as we reach new levels of success. But if you anchor into who you believe you are—and act from that identity—you’ll see greater results.
The Obstacles
1. Waiting to Feel Ready: A client once told me, “I don’t feel like an author.” The funny part? She’d already published a book. Another said, “I’ll launch my program after a few more courses.” I reminded her, “If I booked you for a talk tomorrow, you could deliver eight workshops right now.” She laughed and said, “You’re right.
2. Letting Old Stories Define New Opportunities: We focus on actions and outcomes instead of who we are being. 
  • “I didn’t do well in that sales call before, so I won’t now.”  “I didn’t get that speaking gig, so I won’t this time.”
  • “I failed in that relationship, so I’ll fail again.”
When I spoke in the U.S. for the first time, doing both the opening and closing keynote at a convention, I thought, I’ve never done this before. Then I reminded myself, I’ve spoken at Canadian events. I’ve delivered keynotes before. I’m capable. I transferred confidence from past experiences and it worked.
If you’ve never done something before, look at other times you faced fear and succeeded. Transfer that strength forward.
3. Playing Small to Seem Relatable or Likable: High-achieving women… this one’s for you. We often play small to avoid making others feel insecure or jealous. We downplay compliments: “Oh, this old thing?” But doing that hides your brilliance. You don’t need to dim your light to make others comfortable.
The Problems If Ignored
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  1. Other People Will Take That Spot: If you're like, "I'm not going to apply for that award," or "I'm not going to see if I can speak at that conference," or "I'm not going to launch that book," someone else will, and you'll be kicking yourself. You'll be stuck in that old identity of "I'm not a person who can do this." But you know, there's this little voice that's saying there's more, and I can do more. I’m not saying “do more just to do more.” I’m saying: you have dreams that require you to step into the energy of “I’m someone who wins.”
  2. Confusion in Your Business Direction: If you just keep going and waiting for actions to build confidence or make you someone who wins, you're going to feel unclear and unaligned. You’ll change directions, take shortcuts, or stay complacent.
  3. Allowing Your Circumstances to Limit Your Next Level: That's the saddest thing. We are always evolving. I was talking to a brand-new client. She was sharing about her business and how far she's gotten with it, and then she was talking about where she wants to go next. She's like, "Yeah, but I've never done that." And I reminded her, "Yeah, but look at you. A few years ago, you hadn't done any of the stuff that you now know how to do and are doing in your business." The person she was on day one was very different from the person I met, and she'll be even better in three to six months after working together. We’re always evolving and the next version of you is waiting.
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One Last Story
I have been very grateful that I have been given some naive confidence at some parts in my life. I've also been very blessed to have a mother and a father, who believed in me so much. My Mom would say, "You can do it." I would be in times in my life where I'd lack confidence, saying, "I can't do this." And then I'd change my thoughts, "No, but mom says I can. I don't know how, but mom believes I can, therefore I can." I've just stepped into that false confidence, almost that inflated-by-somebody-else confidence, and I've stepped up.
Still, I’ve had moments where I downplayed my expertise, stayed quiet, or acted like a student instead of a leader. Even though other times, I stepped up and showed who I truly am.
It's not always easy. I get it. It's not always easy to be confident. But could you pick that you are going to be the woman who wins? Can you? Someone's got to win. So could it be you? It totally could be.
Your Call to Action
I want you to finish this line. Maybe "win" or "confident" aren't words for you. But if you were to finish the statement, "I am the woman who..." and you add in an adjective. Is it…
  • "I am the woman who wins."
  • "I am the woman who is confident."
  • "I am the woman who is relentless."
  • "I am the woman who is abundantly creative.”
"I am the woman who..." How would you fill that in?
I'm really curious. Let me know. Email me: [email protected], or comment below.
What would it be like if, after you made that statement, "I am the woman who...," you started acting like her today? Not once it's proven, not once you say, "Oh, okay, I am a woman who's confident because I did X, Y, Z," but just decide that you're going to be it.
I promise you that if we spent a little time together, I could probably find many instances where you have been these things, and we could easily transfer them over, because honestly, waiting for the actions to happen is going to be much harder than just deciding today to be that woman. 
Identity precedes action. You got this!
If you haven't yet, share this with a friend. 
The next bunch of blogs that I have coming up are bolder. They're more powerful. I was in this energy for a while of really wanting to speak to you in those moments of obstacle and hardship and overwhelm and not feeling like yourself and things not going your way. Now we're on the up. Now we're in this area of more boldness, more power, more being unapologetic, stepping into that motivation, that inspiration to get you moving towards your goals.
I just brought on a few new clients, though I do have two more spots for one-on-one coaching clients. If this is something that you have been pondering, or you're curious about, email me: [email protected] and let's have a chat.
Until next time, stay dynamic!
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Are you in Momentum or Maintenance Season?

10/22/2025

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Did you know that in business and life, not every season is meant to be a sprint? Sometimes, maintaining is the smartest move you can make. But so many of us high achievers equate slowing down with falling behind. 
So ask yourself: What if holding steady was actually part of your growth strategy?
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In this blog, I’m discussing a topic that every business owner and professional woman faces, but we don't plan for: determining whether you're in momentum season or maintenance season.
My Personal Wake-Up Call
I remember after my dad passed, I really should have been in full-blown maintenance season. Maintenance season is the time when you hold back, maybe put stuff in place behind the scenes, and you're juggling fewer balls or maybe less in the public eye. Momentum season is when you're moving forward, pushing, doing a lot, putting out more energy, and maybe you're in the public eye more.
I really should have been behind the scenes. We were putting together the Confidence Secrets book, the second in the Dynamic Women book series. I had so many authors in it and wanted to get more authors. I can remember not having the energy or desire or excitement anymore to fill the last spots.
I said to one of my business coaches, "But I'm only at 34 authors and I need to get 52." ​
He was like, "Who said you need to get 52?" ​
I replied, "Well, that's what we did in the first book, Success Secrets, and I wanted to do the same."
"Well, do you have to do that? Can you still create a really good book with 34 people?"
"Yeah, I could. I guess to make it bigger, I could add in more of my own stuff." ​
He asked, "Yeah, why don't you do that? What would it take for you to muster the energy to be able to fill the rest of the book?"
"I just don't have it in me."
He said, "That's totally fine. Just put it out the way it is. You didn't promise your authors to have 52 people. Who made that rule? You did. So you can change it."
I was so appreciative of that moment because I felt pressure in a maintenance season to do more and to push and to kind of have momentum. But I realized my energy and my ability to perform at that time. I couldn't do it. This wasn't failure, it was wisdom, thanks to my coach, I needed to really honor that maintenance season.
Understanding the Two Seasons
Momentum seasons and maintenance seasons are both essential for long-term success in business and life. The problem is, society glorifies momentum, and we shame maintenance. We shame people when they're not doing crazy things. Even, "What's new?" That's a momentum question, along with when people ask you that, "What's new and exciting?" I've been guilty of asking that of people.
The idea of honouring maintenance, of being in that place of "I just need to keep it together" or "I just need to do some stuff behind the scenes", it's not necessarily growth, but it's keeping things as they are, or maybe even improving things behind the scenes. Maintenance is where systems are strengthened, creativity recharges, and your success becomes more sustainable because you have things in place that are going to help you get further.
Knowing what season you're in is crucial, not only so that you can make decisions, but so that you can own it and give yourself permission to either go for it or take a break. And that's going to prevent burnout. It's also going to prevent guilt.
The Marathon Runner Example
One of my soccer teammates runs marathons, and after she did the actual race where she had a personal best, she said to us, "Hey, I can't make practice because I just did a marathon."
When I asked a member of my Kenya Mission Team who's a marathon runner how many races she does a year, she said, "Two to four, maybe."
I was like, "Oh, because they're expensive to go to?" 
She said, "No, no. The sweet spot is typically two to four marathons per year that allows enough time for recovery or maintenance and then proper training between the races, the momentum stage."
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Even just doing two a year, spaced out six months apart, is a really common and manageable goal for runners. She had a personal best because she was honoring recovery days, the maintenance mode, so that her muscles could rebuild.
Business and life are so much the same. Two to four major goals or projects per year, personally or in business, is the momentum stage. Depending on if there's one massive thing, then maybe it's just one big thing.
The cool fact is that companies that actually strategically pause, just like the runners, who decide they’re only going to do two to four major launches, product drops, summits, book launches, whatever it may be. Those who strategically pause to consolidate, to build those systems, they actually outperform those companies who consistently chase that growth, who are in momentum all the time, by 30% over five years.
It's proof that the stillness needs to happen. The strategy is best to be able to have that constant burst and pause, rather than constant acceleration.
The Benefits of Embracing Your Season
What are the benefits of embracing the season that you're in? Whether it's maintenance or momentum, it doesn't matter. The most important thing is you want to align your effort with your reality, because when you do, you're going to gain so many things.
  1. Peace of Mind: For me, it was so nice to realize, "I don't have to fight that I'm in maintenance mode anymore. I don't have to push myself to be in momentum". It helped me to see the strategy behind it.
  2. Stronger Foundations: When you do go into maintenance mode, you build those better systems, those better processes. You rest, you build your energy, you build connections, and then you can head out there again into momentum.
  3. Confidence: You're going to start making decisions from clarity, not pressure. Which increases your confidence in yourself and your next step.
  4. Renewed Creativity: You’re rested enough to be creative so you can come up with ideas. You have space to think, space to innovate and plan the next big leap.
My Business Example
In one maintenance season for me, the business Virtual Assistant Made Easy had massive growth. We were at 50 clients, 16 VAs, and I hadn't done much coaching, workshops or speaking engagements for a while because I was so focused on building that business.
Then I was like, "Okay, no, no more. We have to stop this momentum. It's too crazy. I'm always trying to catch up and trying to put the systems in place." I just said, "I have to get out of momentum, and go into maintenance."
So I did a hiring freeze. I didn't hire any VAs for probably a year because when I have a VA, I am responsible for filling their client list. So I thought, "No, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to focus on refining our systems: hiring systems, training systems, client systems, onboarding systems etc., instead of adding more clients."
It was great, and it was good for my team too, just to give them some time to catch up. That season, I didn't grow my revenue beyond where it was, but I doubled my capacity later because we were able to automate more things. I was able to teach or train and pass off more things. Maintenance, in this case, created the structure for the momentum, for that next wave of momentum when it came.
Why We Resist Maintenance
There are obstacles and reasons why we resist it:
  1. Comparison: We're looking at things online, we're meeting people at networking groups, and we're saying, "Wow, she's scaling. I should be too. She launched a new book. I should too." That comparison doesn't put you in a creative place. It puts you in a chasing place.
  2. Pressure: Being in quiet progress doesn’t make fun social media posts. Social media celebrates growth mode, scaling, launching, not this quiet progress behind the scenes. So you feel the pressure of "I need to show/share the cool things I’m doing.”
  3. Fear: Maintenance feels like stagnation. It feels like you're slowing down, you're stopping, you're not making progress. Or worse, it feels like failure. But it's not failure. It's a wise decision.
  4. Ego: We crave external proof that we're still winning. "I launched this. Check. Oh, I spoke here. Check. Oh, I made that incredible thing. Check." High achievers often don't feel enough unless we're ticking off the boxes and having that external proof. Because of our egos, when we're in maintenance and putting in the work, we need to get good at knowing that we are enough. ​
What Happens If You Ignore Your Season
If you don't understand your maintenance, if you don't recognize the true season that you're in, and you stay in momentum for too long:
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  1. Burnout: You're going to push your body, your mind, your team. But they need rest. We all need rest. I went to my naturopath once and said, "I'm just tired all the time." She did my blood work and said, "I understand your life is stressful. No wonder your cortisol is so high." I said, "I'm not doing much. I used to do more before." She said, "Yeah, but your body is telling me that it can't." You can't run a business marathon, one after another.
  2. Cracks in the Systems: Leads will fall through the cracks. You won't reply to an email on time. You'll miss an opportunity because growth without structure and (Standard Operating Procedures) SOPs leads to collapse.
  3. Disconnection: You're doing more, but feeling less fulfilled. You're in momentum for way too long that you just go on autopilot and don't even have a chance to feel or be present.
  4. Missed Intuition: You're going to ignore your gut telling you, "Pause, reflect, refine, make this change."
Once, I had back-to-back launches that looked successful from the outside, but internally, it was chaos. I wasn't in maintenance mode long enough to get my systems fully ready. The next time I paused, fixed the processes, trained the team, and the next launch ran like clockwork. That's the power of maintenance.
Your Action Step
Ask yourself right now: Are you in maintenance season, or are you in momentum season? Be honest. Don't be idealistic.
If you're in momentum, go all in. Do it, but protect your energy so you don't burn out. That'd be like that marathon runner trying to sprint the whole race.
If you're in maintenance mode, honour it. Use the time to rebuild, to recharge, and to strengthen your foundation, not only in your business, but in your life.
Either way, there's no shame. They’re both strategic. Both seasons matter, just like the seasons in nature. We don't get mad in Autumn because the trees aren’t growing fruit and the leaves are falling.
Remember, growth isn't just about acceleration. It's also about knowing when to slow down so that you can rise stronger later.
Until next time, stay dynamic!
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The Mental Health Struggle of High-Achieving Women

10/15/2025

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Do you believe that even the strongest women need support? I'm guessing you do because you're probably a strong, high-achieving woman yourself. 
October 10th was World Mental Health Day, and I want to talk about a group of women who are often overlooked: the mental health of high-achieving women who seem to have it all together.
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The Invisible Load
High-achieving women are the ones everyone relies on: the leaders, the fixers, the steady ones, the smart ones, the successful ones, the caring ones. But sometimes those same women are quietly carrying the heaviest load.
That's because people come to us as the fixers and problem solvers. As the leaders, our followers come to us. As the steady ones, people know they can rely on us. There's that saying: "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." Oftentimes, the high achiever is the one getting everything done, but suffering silently.
When was the last time you were asked how you're really doing, and the person was ready for the real answer? Not "How is your business doing?" or "How is your family doing?" but "How are YOU doing?"
I know what it's like to look like you have it all together, so people don't bother asking you how you're doing, while still feeling so overwhelmed behind the scenes. Sometimes when I visit my naturopath, and she asks, "How are you doing?" in that caring way, it brings tears to my eyes. Just that feeling of someone creating time and space who actually cares about the answer.
Don't get me wrong, I have great friends. But people think that because we have things put together, and we're strong, confident, and outgoing, that we're fine. We've seen it in the public eye: those who seem most gregarious, strong, successful, and funny are often struggling the most.
Mental health struggles don't skip the strong. Often the most capable women are carrying the most pressure and feel the least permission to ask for help.
Even when we’re sick, we still have to do a ton of stuff to do because of how others view us. "Mom can work through it", “the boss can still get it done” or "my wife can work through it," while others get to be out sick. We don't have as much permission to ask for help because, being the high achiever at the top, there's not enough room for it.
Strength and Struggle Can Coexist
Strength and struggle can absolutely coexist. We can look like we have it all together and be completely falling apart behind the scenes. It's not that it's a mask, it's survival: doing the things that need to be done while potentially pushing down emotions when there's no time, space, or people to talk to.
If this is you, make sure you have a great coach, counselor, or support system so you do have time, space, and someone supportive to help you.
Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It makes you wise. It helps you move forward, get over the things that are happening, and feel witnessed, seen, and supported, which is crucial to continuing to do what you do.
My Personal Struggles
I remember lying in bed nursing my first baby when the cat came up and rubbed on me, and I started to cry. My husband ran in: "Are you okay?" I said, "Yes, it's just that the cat wants me to pet her, and baby wants me to nurse her, and you want to hang out with me, and my clients are messaging me." I was an absolute mess.
Until then, he thought everything was fine. I realized later I was sleep-deprived and had postpartum depression, though I didn't think I did because the typical questions they ask didn't apply to me. 
But there have been other times when I've juggled everything: my coaching business, VA Made Easy business, a book launch, coaching clients, parenting, playing soccer, being a wife, my house. I kept telling myself, "I'll just push through until things slow down." When people asked me to do more, I'd say I was busy, and they wouldn't believe me saying, "Well everyone's busy." I thought things would just slow down, but they never did.
I've had times when I've struggled mentally, not just postpartum depression or situational grief after my father's passing, but genuine mental health struggles in my adulthood. Finally, what helped was admitting how tired I was, admitting I couldn't do it all, and that I needed my team and family to take on more. The moment I did, I felt relief and hope, and my stress dropped. The business didn't crumble when I slowed down. My family didn't struggle when I did less around the house. Things actually got stronger because I was stronger.
The Research
Research shows that higher-performing women report higher rates of anxiety and burnout than men in similar roles. We're very emotionally intelligent, but we carry both the visible work and the invisible workload: emotional labor, family logistics, planning.
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How many tabs do you have open right now? Not just on your computer, but in your head. Where are the kids? What's for dinner? Do I need to flip that laundry, I need to call my friend, order that birthday present, make those plans. That's just life, not even business.
Beyond Basic Self-Care
For years, I thought self-care was grabbing a five-minute shower between calls, treating myself to coffee on the run, or going for a walk before my day starts. But really, mental health isn't just about physical rest. It's about giving yourself permission to stop pretending you're fine when you're not.
The problem with society is we don't pause long enough after asking, "How are you doing?" We're looking for that automatic, quick answer so we can get on with the conversation. But when someone sits there and says, "How are you doing? How are things going?" and maybe speaks truth into it ("Your life seems really busy right now"), that creates space to open up.
The Benefits of Opening Up
1. We Normalize That It's Okay Not Be Okay
You don't have to pretend. With high achievers, there's often no time to not be okay, and we just move on to the next thing. People expect us to put on our big girl panties, pull up our bootstraps, and keep going.
2. We Create Connection
You won't feel alone in your struggle. When someone tells you about their struggle, don't try to one-up them. Listen. You can relate, but be supportive: "That's hard, but I'm here for you."
3. We Catch Burnout Early
I've had clients come to me after burnout or on the verge of burnout. We want to catch it before. Talking about it helps you release stress and create solutions: time, boundaries, priority setting.
4. We Strengthen Relationships Through Honesty
Some of my best relationships formed in the hardest times. Sharing what I'm going through has helped people hear my vulnerability, know me as me, and see the real version, not the polished one.
A Lesson from Kenya
Earlier this year in Kenya, I was surrounded by incredible women and men doing powerful work. Even in service of others, they prioritized connection, rest, and faith. Every day around 10:30 or 11 am, we'd pause for tea and sweet bread or samosas. It wasn't a quick 15 minutes. It was time to enjoy and have camaraderie.
Community supports mental health. While we may be leaders and solo sprinters, we're not meant to do life, business, family, or parenting alone.
Why High Achievers Don't Speak Up - Four inner voices that stop us…
1. Fear of Judgment
"What if they think I can't handle my job, my leadership position, my board post, and they take it away?"
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2. Perfectionism
"Strong women don't struggle. High achievers are succeeding. We don't have problems. Just figure it out."
3. Responsibility Overload
"Everyone's counting on me. There's no way I can take a break, say no, or miss the deadline."
4. Conditioning
"Keep going no matter what." 
I've played sports with broken fingers, broken toes, and sprained ankles. We tape it up and truck on. It's the same with mental health: we slap an invisible band-aid on and keep going.
The trouble is, it's like a geyser. We push it down and down until it blows at an unexpected time.
The Soccer Story
I'm known as the encourager on my soccer team: "Good job! Good pass! Awesome!" I'm cheering everyone on, positive and optimistic. But one night after practice, my face went neutral, and someone asked, "Are you okay?"
I almost cried. No one had really asked me for weeks. I could hear in her voice, her tone, her facial expressions that she was concerned. How often are strong women asked if they're okay? People assume we're fine because we make it look easy.
What Happens When We Ignore It
1. Burnout - You run out of emotional fuel.
2. Isolation - You feel disconnected, even in a crowd, with your team, or with friends.
3. Decreased Performance - Your creativity and focus fade. High achievers should care about this one.
4. Resentment - Everything feels like "I have to do this" instead of "I want to do this."
Do you lie awake at night with your brain replaying things you have to do or things that happened? I've had times in bed when I couldn't rest because there was so much going on, like old cinema reels flipping images through my mind.
Your Call to Action
This week has a double focus:
1. Check in on the strongest women (and men) you know. Ask them how they're really doing. You'll know if they give you a polished answer or the real one. If they say "Oh you know busy" or "I'm okay," say, "No, how are you really doing?"
2. If you are the strong one, the go-to, the reliable one, it's your turn to reach out. Tell someone you're struggling if you are. Say, "I just want to talk about how hard life is right now" or "Can I share something that's on my mind?" Talk to a friend, coach, or counselor. Book a session. Pray. Journal. Whatever helps you release the mental load.
The Bottom Line
Mental health isn't just about one day on October 10th. Mental health isn't a luxury; it's a foundation for everything else we need. It should be a human right to be mentally healthy. It builds into everything: how you lead, the things you build, the things you love, the things you do.
Care for yourself and care for those around you. You won't even fully understand the impact you make when you ask someone and really check in on how they're doing.
If this blog spoke to you, share it with another strong woman who might need this reminder. 
Until next time, stay dynamic!
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Permission to Prioritize Yourself

10/8/2025

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Are you the person who gives endlessly to clients, teams, families, friends, loved ones, and neighbours? The list goes on and on, but in the process, you forget the most essential person: yourself. 
While I know you understand that prioritizing yourself is important, I'm going to give you permission to actually do it.
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In the process of managing all those tasks, situations and people, plus making sure everyone's good, you disappear. It's truly sad, but it's a fact.
When I ask people to write down their priorities, the one thing they often don't write down is their own name. I'd like to ask you: When was the last time you put yourself on your own priority list?
Beyond Basic Self-Care
Maybe you're thinking, "I get my nails done, I get my hair done, I read a book the other day." That's fine. Or maybe you have a business, and you put all your goals on your priority list. That's great too.
But is everything you need and want to not only survive but thrive happening in your current schedule? Do you prioritize yourself in your decision-making?
The Big Ideas
Here are the key concepts I want you to understand to share with you:
Prioritizing yourself isn't selfish, it's smart. It helps you be not selfish but self-full. Not full of yourself in an egotistical way, but full of self so you are feeling fulfilled, and energetic because you're honouring yourself.
You know the saying about putting your own oxygen mask on first on an airplane? Well, prioritizing yourself is the foundation of sustainable success. You can't lead powerfully, create boldly, or serve effectively if you're exhausted, resentful, and have no time for yourself.
The women who rise aren't doing more. They're protecting their energy better.
Let me say that again: The women who rise aren't doing more, they're protecting their energy better.
My Wake-Up Call
People often say, "Diane, you do so much and achieve so much." But the reality is, I've been figuring out how to be more places and do more things without it taking more of my time and energy.
There have been times when I put everyone else first. About 10 years ago, I had a client who was hosting an event. I was going to support her and to speak on stage, but I was throwing up all night long. You know those nights when you're hugging the toilet bowl and don't care that you're lying on the bathroom floor? That's when you know you’re really sick.
All night, I was thinking about my client and the need to be there, not about my need to rest and get better. In the morning, after throwing up all night (probably food poisoning), I had a few soda crackers, showered, and was one of the first people there and one of the last to leave. I was dead for days afterward.
Why did I do it? 
I have a strong value of commitment, and I'm not a flake. But did I have to be first there, and the last out? Could I have just shown up, done my talk, and left? For sure. That would have prioritized myself.
That was a time in my life when I said yes to everything else: new clients, speaking gigs, collaborations, other people's needs and demands. If there was an opportunity, I would do it. But the problem is, it was depletion in disguise.
The Turning Point
I had to start blocking time for me to think, rest, breathe, go for walks, do counselling, see a doctor, whatever was needed.
The truth is, my business didn't die. My life didn't fall apart. I didn't lose friends or relationships. Everything grew because I showed up with more energy, focus, and creativity.
A Sobering Stat
Women who don't prioritize rest and self-care are 60% more likely to burn out than men in similar roles.
Why? It's called mental load or the invisible load: emotional management, household coordination, team harmony. We have to be on top of every little piece. I bet if I asked you right now how many eggs you have, when you need to do laundry next, how much hand soap you have, your kids' best friends' names, you'd know all of these things because this is part of the mental load we carry.
We're not only prioritizing activities and people in our lives, we're keeping a running inventory of everything as well.
Three Benefits
Here are the benefits of prioritizing yourself. Which do you want the most?
1. More Energy
Who doesn't want more energy? You get to give more because you replenish yourself and have more to give.
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2. Better Decisions
Your brain's rested, so you can be clear, focused, and make confident choices when you have space to think.
3. Resilience
You bounce back faster when you have stress or setbacks. It doesn't take you down, just slows you down for a moment until you figure out the pivot or next approach.
My Sleep Revelation - How I realized I wasn’t prioritizing myself
I realized I was feeling more emotional, had less ability to think clearly, couldn't make good decisions, and didn't have much resilience. I thought, "It must be menopause."
It wasn't until I looked at my Fitbit reports that I realized I hadn't had consistently more than six and a half hours of sleep (and most weeks averaged five and a half hours). When stats say women need eight to ten hours of sleep, I was basically sabotaging myself.
What were my priorities instead? Cleaning up, getting other work done, other people's agendas. It was not pretty, and it was not good for me.
Why Do We Struggle to Prioritize Ourselves?
1. Guilt
"How can I rest when there's so much to do?" We feel guilty that things aren't getting done or that we're not living up to roles and responsibilities, so we continue to push ourselves.
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2. Fear
The worry that if you slow down, it looks like you're slacking off, lazy, or your commitment is lacking. We fear looking bad or falling behind if we say no or don't do things to crazy high standards at our own self-sacrifice.
3. Conditioning
We've been trained to put everyone else first.
Here's a story of how a shower made me mad and taught me permission to care for myself.
When my kids were young (a three-year-old and a baby), I was also building my business. My husband came home from work and disappeared upstairs. I heard the shower go on and was so mad. "I wanted to take a shower! Why did he get to go take a shower?"
When he came down, I said, "Must be nice. You get to go take a shower." He said, "You want to have a shower? Go take a shower."
I replied, "Yes, but the baby needs to be changed, our daughter wants a book read, dinner has to be made, laundry has to be folded..." He said, "No, you don't. Just go shower."
It's funny how I always checked in with everyone around me to make sure everyone was okay before I would do something for myself.
Have you ever done that? Has a client or team member ever told you, "You're always available"? Was that really a compliment? Are you always available because you're afraid of not serving a client or not living up to some standard?
What Happens When You Don't Prioritize Yourself
(Score yourself on a scale of 1-10 on these three consequences. 10 being "Yes, this is happening to me" and 1 is “Not at all”.)
1. Chronic Stress
That feeling of "I'm always on." You can't turn your brain off at night before bed, or if you awaken, it's hard to get back to sleep. You never really pause or chill. Even on vacation or doing something you like, you're still thinking of your to-do list instead of being present.
2. Resentment
Resentment builds. Look at the resentment I had for my husband just taking a shower! What you once loved can feel heavy and hard to do. You might have loved to cook before, and now you don't even want to do that.
3. Creativity Fades
You can't be innovative, creative, and passionate when you're exhausted. You can't pour from an empty cup. It's not just about filling your own cup first… fill it so much that it overflows into the saucer, then give from the saucer, not from the cup.
If you're a CEO, you need creativity to move your business forward, to be innovative, agile, and able to pivot. If you're in a career, you need creativity to problem-solve and support different situations.
Where are you on each of these, and where do you want to be? For example, if chronic stress is at a 6 out of 10, you probably want to be down at a 2 or 3. What would need to happen to get you there?
The Real Problem
I constantly see brilliant women who are burnt out, not from lack of ability, intelligence, desire, or success, but from a lack of prioritizing themselves and setting boundaries. Then they can't move forward because they're the bottleneck holding themselves back.
Your Action Step
This coming week, set one non-negotiable hour for yourself. Protect it like your most important meeting or client.
You can either set it up in advance (a walk, a nap, coffee at your favorite shop, time to think, create, draw, play, read, cook) or start that time and ask yourself, "What do I really want to do right now?"
Doing the dishes, laundry, or finishing a business project are not the answers. What would actually prioritize you?
When guilt creeps in, and you think "I could do more, be more, have more, serve more people," remind yourself: My worth isn't in how much I give. It's in how intentionally I live.
The Number One Limiting Belief
From my program called The Breakthrough (previously called Dynamic Year), where we discuss limiting beliefs, the number one I've found is: "I am not enough."
When "I am not enough" is active, we push and do more, and that's when we don't prioritize ourselves.
The women who thrive aren't the ones running the hardest. We need to move away from hustle culture. They're the ones who’ve stopped apologizing for taking care of themselves for not attending certain events, not helping people move, saying no to certain clients or projects, setting boundaries.
When you love yourself and prioritize yourself, you shouldn't have to apologize. You can be apologetic that you missed something because you wanted to be there, but not for saying yes to yourself.
My Own Journey
I've had so many opportunities to be on boards, co-chair conferences, attend conventions, and speak at different places. When I look at my life right now and how my kids need me, I've had to say “no” to honor them, but more importantly, to leave space for me.
That's been hard, but I don't apologize. I often say, "I really wish I could. That sounds like a great opportunity, but the timing is not right."
Your Turn
What was your biggest takeaway from this? If it resonated with you, reach out to me at [email protected] and let me know what spoke to you and where I can support you.
Share this with another woman who gives her all to life or her business and needs a reminder to prioritize herself.
I create these weekly blogs because I want you to have both success and satisfaction on your own terms. I take a stand for the "and", so you have Success AND satisfaction.
Until next time, stay dynamic!
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A Birthday Wish For You

10/1/2025

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This week is extra special because I just celebrated my birthday, and while birthdays are usually about receiving, I want to focus on giving. What matters most to me is that you, my listeners, are supported and encouraged. So listen up as I share my birthday wish for you.
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Recently, I turned 46. Instead of receiving birthday wishes, I'd like to flip the table a little bit. I'd like to share a few wishes with you. Think of this episode as my gift to you… words to carry into this season that I hope will give you an amazing year.
Here are my five wishes for you. They come from me reflecting on the past year, and each comes from lessons I've learned the hard way: moments when I've had to choose boldness, when I desperately needed rest, when joy reminded me why I do what I do, when freedom became the real marker of success for me, and when faith carried me through uncertainty.
(If you prefer to listen to my podcast episode, listen here. If you prefer to watch me on YouTube, go here. Both platforms share the same topic.)
1. Boldness
My first wish for you is boldness. My theme this year was to be bold, and I was feeling like I haven't been my full self for probably the first time since before COVID. After my Dad’s passing, losing my FB account, changing how I run my business and all the layers of stress that came with it, I realized I wasn’t showing up as my full, bold self.
I felt like I didn't have the emotional capacity or stamina to be bold, and that's really hard for me because one of my values is challenging myself.
My wish for you is boldness… to ask for what you want, to take up space, to step into opportunities without hesitation (as long as they align with your big vision). Playing small keeps you safe, but boldness opens doors for growth, visibility, impact, and reaching that big vision and mission in life.
Without boldness, you risk staying hidden in places you've outgrown.
2. Rest
I wish you the kind of rest that truly restores you, deeply, emotionally, physically. As high-achieving women, we carry everyone's needs: our clients' needs, our team's needs, our family's needs, our friends' needs, our neighbors' needs, the world's needs. We often put ourselves last.
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But rest is a strategy, not a weakness. Without rest, burnout is inevitable.
I realized by tracking my sleep with my Fitbit that I was only getting an average of five to six hours of sleep, which is not good enough. Women typically need eight to nine hours of sleep (men need less, according to research). When I was able to stay at my childhood home with my mom, I started getting seven and a half to eight and a half hours of sleep, and I started feeling so much better.
My wish for you is that you get rest at a deep level, not just with sleep, but in all capacities.
3. Joy
I wish you joy that bubbles up in your daily life, not just in the milestones. Not just in those big successful moments when you've published the book, gotten the promotion, or bought the house, but in every single small moment in life.
Too often, we reserve our celebrations for big wins, overlooking small achievements that we dismiss as insignificant. But joy along the way fuels resilience and helps you keep going. Without joy, business starts to feel like a grind, your career starts to feel like a grind, and your vision starts to feel like a grind.
We're starved for acknowledgment and recognition, so I hope you can recognize your daily life joys, plus the joys in who you are, who you're being, and what you're doing in the world.
4. Freedom
I wish you freedom…
  • The freedom of time to decide what happens and what comes into your calendar. 
  • The freedom of choice to choose who to be with, what you do, and to make your own decisions. 
  • The freedom to be who you are, completely.
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I've recently realized that I have a high-achieving, follow-the-rules, get-things-done, responsible side that's quite different from the fun, quirky, playful, cracking-jokes, slightly edgy side. I want her to be able to show up more, just like I want you to have the freedom to be who you are in all aspects.
We can become entangled in our obligations and forget that freedom is why many of us started our businesses in the first place, or why we dreamed of having the career we have. I want freedom for you… freedom of time, choice, and to be who you are.
5. Faith
Whatever faith means to you, I wish you faith. 
  • Faith in yourself (belief in self)
  • Faith in the process you're going through
  • Faith in your mission and that big vision you have
  • Faith in God's plan for you
Life will always bring uncertainty and struggle, but faith is what steadies you. When logic says “stop” and fear whispers “you can’t,” faith gives you the strength to keep moving. My wish for you is an extra dose of faith, because without it, fear and doubt take over, but with it, you’ll always find the courage to move forward.
My Personal Examples
These wishes come from real moments in my past year:
Boldness: Like going Zorbing in New Zealand (getting inside big rubber balls with water and being pushed down a hill). I didn't want to do it, but I chose to be bold.
Rest: Saying no to things, staying home when I had commitments (and I am a commitment keeper), but really honouring myself and rest.
Joy: Hearing successes from clients. I just had a client message me saying she'd only sent half her emails and already had three people interested in her offer. I take joy in that, and I enjoy simple things like sitting on my patio and watching the leaves blow in the wind.
Freedom: The ability to spend three weeks at my mom's, house the freedom to pull weeds from her patio to help her out. That's the real marker of success: choosing who to be with, who to spend time with, who you’re going to be, and what you’re going to do.
Faith: Saying yes to a mission trip in Kenya despite uncertainty. There were protests, and some people were killed before we went. It was scary and uncertain. But faith carried me through that and so many other things in my life.
Your Turn
As I blow out my candles this year, these wishes are not just for me. They're for you. I hope you have the boldness, joy, freedom, rest, and faith to not only make your business stronger, but also to make your life feel fuller and more fulfilling.
If any of these resonate with you, I'd love to hear about it. Email me at [email protected] or DM on your favourite social platform. Tell me which of these five wishes you needed to receive most right now.
If you'd like to give me a gift, the greatest gift would be to share this blog with another amazing woman who deserves these birthday wishes as well.
Until next time, stay dynamic!
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