|
High achievers don't have to be more or have more. I’ll share about why we’re doing this, what causes us to do this, and share some examples.  Hopefully, It’ll encourage you to drop this pressured way of being—and learn to just chill, relax, and have a more enjoyable life. You might be thinking, “But my life is great, and I don't feel this way!” As I go through this, reflect on whether it's really true for you. #1: Cultural Conditioning Society does this to us. It loves to hype up people who are always busy. “Oh my gosh, you're always busy! You're doing all these great things!” It becomes an Olympic sport, “Oh, amazing. You just performed really well”. I’ll admit it—guilty as charged. I’ve been there. A lot of my external validation used to boost my confidence: getting good grades and being praised for doing everything. Before, I was everywhere, doing all the things. Now, I’m doing a lot of specific, selective things and I have a team to put a lot of it together, which makes it a lot easier for me. It’s so easy to fall into because of cultural conditioning—or let’s call it Pinterest Perfection Pressure. Everything has to be perfect. Often I don’t take pictures of around my house, other than where I am right now at my desk, because my house is a mess. I don’t always have everything put together, but it always has to look perfect or be perfect. Let’s be honest, it’s not. But it’s so easy for us to think that our value comes from doing. For example, you feel like you have to turn your kid’s birthday party into a Pinterest masterpiece with a balloon arch, handmade snacks, bespoke takeaway bags or grab bags—and every other part of our life kind of seems the same way. We have to dress this way, and everything we do has to be at this high level. Cultural conditioning and society—it’s screwing us over because we don’t. How often have you wished you could invite a friend over for coffee, but didn’t because you didn’t have a Pinterest-perfect living room? Or how many times have you wanted to go somewhere or do something, but didn’t because you felt like you didn’t have the right outfit to wear? It doesn’t matter. What’s more important are the people we’re with and our experiences. #2: Perfectionism This is one of the biggest things that revs the high achiever. You’re setting these sky-high standards for yourself, and anything less than “I nailed it. 150% perfect” feels like a failure. You keep pushing harder and harder and harder. You may think, “I’m not a perfectionist; I just like high-quality work.” That’s one thing. But when you’re losing sleep, not having a balanced life, not spending time on hobbies or with people you love and care about, then your perfectionism—or your desire to nail everything—is taking you to an extreme that’s not good for you. This can also be called overachieving overload. You’re overloaded with this mindset that everything has to be done at a high level. I remember being coached once about my perfectionism—I said “once” because there were many, many times—but I remember this one time when I envisioned one massive pillar. Imagine this big, big pillar, and something was on top of it. I was trying to get my project, my goal, to be at that level. The problem was that because it took so much effort to get to perfection—let’s be honest, high achievers, your “really good” is probably someone else’s excellent. Your perfectionism is like 150%. No one’s going to notice anything above 80%. In this coaching session, there’s this one major pillar—it was so high in the clouds, and I couldn’t quite get there to put my project up. But then I noticed all these lower pillars of unfinished projects. All I needed to do was take them from a “7” to an “8” to finish them. Just a little bit of extra effort would complete them. When I saw this, I envisioned all these pillars of finished projects instead of that one impossible pedestal project. That just would be too much. Maybe this shows up for you when you spend hours tweaking a work email like it’s going into a museum or will be printed on your T-shirt—while you’re juggling ten other things and letting important stuff slip through your fingers. It doesn’t really matter that much, but you’re making it matter more. Perfectionism is one of the things that's pushing you to feel like you need to be more, have more. #3: Fear of Failure or Rejection You’re terrified that if you stop being the go-to person or stop crushing it all the time, people will think less of you—or worse, forget about you. You’ll be irrelevant. You won’t be special anymore. But special in whose eyes? These other people?  I call this the AKA “What will they think?” spiral.
Who’s the “they”? Probably people you don’t even care about anyway. The people who you don't love. The people who you wouldn't want to hang out with. But that's really hard because once you get into that spiral of “What will they think?” it's really hard to get yourself out of it. For example, maybe you agree to run the PAC at the school or a charity, maybe you agree to run a fundraiser for them. Even though your calendar is super busy, it's like busting at the seams because “If I just show up on the day to help, or if I just donate money, that will seem like I'm a slacker, and what will they think? What will they think of me?” They won't reject you. There are other ways that you can be involved. Sometimes, a polite “No, but wish I could” is okay as well. We all have our own seasons. We're not meant to do everything every time for everyone. 4. Comparative Mindset You’re constantly sizing yourself up against others. This often happens on social media as you're scrolling, you're like:
 Like on and on and on and on, whether it is your friend, your co-worker, your neighbors, other people who are in the same industry as you, or someone's perfect Instagram feed who are getting paid to curate it to be that way. There will always be someone doing more and being more than you, at least on the outside, but you're probably comparing one part of your life to someone who's perfect in that area, and another part of your life to someone else who's killing it in that area, and one part of your life to someone who's 10 years ahead of you in their experience and their success, and it's going to drive you nuts, and you're never going to win. We know the show Keeping Up With The Kardashians. We could be Keeping Up with the Jones. You've heard that expression, and that's what it is. We're looking at someone else's stuff, and we think I need to have that, be that too. Seeing that other person's marathon metal doesn't mean you need to go and run a marathon or start training for a triathlon. You see someone else's spotless house, but what is behind the camera and how torn and broken are their relationships if that's the only thing they’re focusing on? You see someone else's home-cooked dinner, but did they pick it up at the store and then put it on their own dishes? You can do that with lasagnas, right? Then you're wondering how you've already lost it in life today. I can remember when I was in the early years of running my business, I felt like, “Why am I not achieving more?” My business advisor said to me, “Diane, can you add up all the hours that you are working on your business?” It was just the times that my kids were at daycare, and so it ended up being about 25 hours max. She said, “How do you feel that you can build an empire on part-time hours?” True. If you say, “Diane, I'm working full-time hours, and it's not happening.” Well, what other pressures and responsibilities do you have? Do you have aging parents? Do you have young kids? Do you have pets? The list can go on and on. Do you have your own health struggles? You don't know that other people aren't dealing with or are choosing not to put their energy and time into, that really should be. I was comparing myself at the time to coaches who didn't have children, and it made me feel a little bit like I was a wild horse that was in a barn, and I was like, kicking at the gate to like, “Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.” But what I would never have given up was the ability for me to spend these days with my kids, and I'm not shaming anyone who didn't have the privilege of being able to do that, but stop comparing your today to someone else's years of getting into that place. Don't compare your today to someone else's supportive environment to have that. #5: Validation Seeking Oh, we're all about the gold stars. “I like me a gold star.” “I like me a checkbox.” But if no one notices how hard you're working and how much you're crushing it, it's like it doesn't even count. You're looking for others' approvals and others to validate you, where really you need to validate yourself. AKA, I call this the Gold Star Syndrome. We're always seeking that external approval, but what if we just got approval from ourselves instead? Maybe you organize your pantry by color or by size, and then you wait for your partner to notice, and all you get is, “Yeah, that's cool, but where are the chips?” They don't care, but you've put a lot of time and energy into this, switching that so it just can be for you, rather than that external validation will help you feel more valued. #6: Lack of Self-Acceptance This is really sad because while you may love yourself and be confident in yourself, because I know a lot of high achieving women are like that, deep down maybe you feel like you have to earn love, and you earn that love and that respect by doing more, being more, being better, achieving more, supporting others in a bigger way. While if you were to just sit still and just chill, that feels super weird. You're like, “No, I’ve got to be busy. I can't just watch a movie. I have to fold laundry at the same time” because I can’t just watch a movie and enjoy myself. This pushes you to always be multitasking. Let’s call this the “Mirror Meltdown” because you’re looking at yourself too hard. If we think of this definition as just the physical appearance, and not even everything else in your life. If you looked in the mirror and then you nitpicked every wrinkle, every flaw, every laugh line, and forgot that you're basically the superhero for everything that you have accomplished and in everyone else's lives, all the support and the amazingness that you are to them, you lose. You lose because you keep feeling like you have to do more and be more to be able to accept yourself. Wrapping Up I'm curious which of these six resonated with you the most. Which ones are you guilty of, or which ones are you like, “Next year, I am going to focus on this one.” I'll let you know that our “Take a Stand for the And” Strategy Sessions are extended right now until Friday Nov 29th at 11:59pm PST. I’m seeing the value it's giving people to have clarity on where these hidden cycles are stopping them, to be able to “Take a Stand for the And” and have a clear strategy that they can put into place moving forward. There are only a few left because the deadline is this Friday, so make sure that you don't miss out and get your session today. Read my other blogs:
0 Comments
Today, I’m going to share with you the five ways you know you’ve created your ideal life. As we dive in, I’ll let you know that I originally recorded myself on video saying this and there is an activity where I ask you to close your eyes and think, feel, and imagine something. You may prefer to listen to this on the Dynamic Women Podcast or my YouTube Channel. Then I’ll go through these five ways you’ll know if you have created an ideal life, and you can treat them almost like a checklist.  Later, I’ll also share how I can help you to take this further, gain clarity, and truly step into a higher level of your ideal life. Start with a Visualization In a moment I’ll ask you to close your eyes and plant your feet firmly on the ground. Now, for my high-achieving women—women like me, driven, A-type, wanting to accomplish so much— I want you to imagine a life where you’re not only successful but deeply satisfied in every area that matters to you. As I go through the 10 different areas of life, imagine that in this ideal life, you are thriving. You’re not just living; you’re reaching your goals and feeling fulfilled in every area. You’re not merely ticking off boxes, but you’re savouring each accomplishment. When I look at this with my clients using the Wheel of Life, I’m always asking that question: What’s possible in these areas? I encourage you to grab a notebook, piece of paper, or something.
Now, think about these areas and ask: What’s possible in each of them? Take a moment to imagine this. Were you able to really imagine it? If not, pause reading now, go back, do the activity again, and take as much time as you need to really feel into this ideal life, not just look at the list of things. Five Ways to Know You've Created Your Ideal Life As we go through these five ways, score yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 or by percentage. Be really honest and go with your trust decision. As I share about each way, ask yourself: Do I have this? Is this true about my life? I encourage you to score each. How true is this for you? You can use one of two scales: a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being fully true and 1 being not so true, or you can use a percentage—80% true, 20% true, or whatever feels right for you. When we get to the five ways, please trust your gut on your answers. Once I explain each point, go with your initial response. This will show you the pieces that might be missing. 1. Fulfilled and Intentional You wake up every single day knowing that every moment counts. You’re intentional about how you spend your time—it’s like you’re investing it. You’re choosing to fill your life with experiences that matter to you and your loved ones. You’re living your bucket list now, not saving it for “someday.” You're intentional with every minute of every day, and you feel fulfilled. You're not spending time by default where when you got a couple extra hours you decide, “Oh, I'll just work.” Or you clean up the house. You're scrolling on Facebook or watching Netflix. How much do you feel fulfilled and intentional? 2. You Prioritize Yourself with Confidence There are two pieces here. A lot of times people aren't even on their own priority list. In this way, if you prioritize yourself, you do it unapologetically. You do it naturally as part of your day, part of your week, part of your life. Score yourself on this, are you doing it without guilt? Do you feel apologetic when you sleep in, when you read a book, when you go to the gym, when you say no, when you take time away for yourself, like your own holidays?  Are you understanding that taking care of yourself fuels your ability to show up? Again, this is investing in yourself. Then you can show up fully in all areas of life.
Score yourself at a 10 or a percentage on how well do you prioritize yourself with confidence. If you're going to go for a walk for your mental health, your physical health, and someone says, “Hey, can I touch base with you right now? Can I ask you a question? Or can you help me with this?” Are you apologetic or does your tone come across that way where you say, “Oh, I'm actually going for a walk, but maybe I don't have to.” Really check in with that and be honest. Score yourself in how much you prioritize yourself with confidence. 3. Connected to Freedom and Desire Your life feels expansive. It feels alive. It has energy. It's filled with choices that are bringing you fulfillment and keep you energized. If you're in touch with what truly excites you and brings you resonance, are you reconnecting with the freedom you once dreamed of? I know for business owners, that's probably why we get into business, is for that freedom, but you can still be a nine to fiver who has freedom of time and freedom of decisions for what you're going to do for yourself. You’re in touch with yourself. Hopefully you haven't killed that little voice, the one that shares what sparks you, fires you up and gets you really alive in the world. Often, people will shut up the desire, push down, push aside the desire, and eventually you just stop feeling. One of my clients shared with me in the past how she was afraid to take vacation because she hadn't been in for so long. She just worked all the time. It was the default. She’s a high achiever and did very well in her career. She was afraid to take time off because she didn't know how to have fun and how to spend her time anymore. That’s an extreme, but are you connected to freedom in life, and your desire of what you're wanting? Score yourself on how well you are connected to freedom and desire. 4. Shining Authentically Shining is actually a pillar in the Dynamic You program of how to be a dynamic woman. It's one of the nine pillars. In this case, score yourself on shining authentically.
A lot of people are shining, but they don't want to be seen, or they feel like they need to fly under the radar because other people are intimidated by them, jealous, or they're just not feeling like they get the same response when they're true to themselves.  Do you allow yourself to be seen, celebrated, and valued simply for being your authentic self, not a role you play, not a mask you put on, not in “I'm on right now”, but like your authentic self? Are you confident in your being? Do you radiate joy and strength? I'd like to be in this place all the time. It's not always true for me, but I was at an event recently for the ICF (International Coaching Federation), and the lady beside me said, “We didn't get to talk much today, but you really shine brightly.” I was like, “Oh, thanks”. How much out of 10 or percentage wise, do you get to shine authentically, not shine again for your awards, your titles, your results in business, but how much do you get to shine as you, as a person? 5. Abundance of Energy, Time, and Resources The last way that you know that you have really designed your ideal life is, do you have an abundance of energy, time and resources? Score yourself on that out of 10 or on a percentage. In your ideal life, it's not always about the things you have, the things you've bought, the things you've earned. It's having an overflowing supply of energy, time, and resources, whatever that may be, empowering you to live each day fully.
This is how you have an abundance of energy, time, and resources. You're financially secure with the freedom to invest in experiences and opportunities, not just the red bottom shoes, not just the diamond earrings or the flashy car, but in opportunities and experiences that enrich your life. Enrich, not make you rich. They enrich your life. In this area and in this way, your time is yours to design. Really that is freedom. Even if you're working nine to five, do you get to design that time? Do you get flex time? Do you get to choose what you work on throughout the day? When you come home, do you also get to design that time? When you get to design how what you do with your time, it's your time. You're putting into place the ability to pursue passions, and rest when needed and wanted. You get to spend quality moments with the people who matter most to you, even if that's yourself, that's fine or a fur baby. This abundance fuels your joy, enabling you to live with ease and generosity. Score yourself at a 10 or score yourself on a percentage of the abundance of energy, time and resources. See, I didn't say money because when you create your ideal life and you have all these five ways then money, titles, success, don't matter as much. You start to live a new way of life that has you being successful and satisfied. Wrapping Up How did you do on these? Is there room for improvement? I'm guessing, yes. What I encourage you to do is, I have a really special opportunity right now. It's called, the “Take a Stand for the And” Strategy Session.
You will leave this 1:1 60-minute session with me with a clear, practical plan to align your success with the fulfillment you're craving. What I shared today in this blog is part of a talk I did called, “Enough: How to End the Cycle Of “Empty” Achievement Chasing and Step into A New Era of Success and Satisfaction,” and so you've heard me say, “success AND satisfaction,” that's why this session is called the “Take a Stand for the And” because that's what I'm doing for you. As a fellow high-achiever, you may have checked off all the boxes, yet you still feel something's missing, or you've reached a career milestone, business milestone, but you crave a deeper sense of satisfaction, then this is for you. It’s also for you:
The session is $395 (normally, $495), so I encourage you to jump on this. Grab this session. Because really, this one hour can truly change your life. When you take a stand for both success AND satisfaction, you will take that first step toward living fully, thriving, and making a lasting impact in the world. Because it's not just about what you do every day, right? It's not just about your career. It's not just about your business. There's so much more. Make sure you watch out for my next blogs because there are some really amazing things happening. Some really great additions are coming, and new offerings and cool projects, and I wouldn't want you to miss any of it. Make sure that you are living according to these five ways of having an ideal life and trust that I can support you to be able to do the first step to get there. Read my other blogs:
In May 2024, I celebrated the fifth anniversary of the Dynamic Women Podcast and a group of dynamic women joined me in a Q&A session. One of them is Paula Kent, who is not just a client, but has become a friend of mine. In that podcast episode, she said, “I've been with you for a long time and watching all of this transpire in your five years. That was 2019? Wasn't the world a different place then? My question really is to touch on that length of time. Five years isn't that long, but so much in the world has changed. I also imagine in the podcasting world. If you think about episode one, and where we are today, how would you describe some of the concerns expressed by dynamic women and other female entrepreneurs? How have you had to adapt your podcast and change the content? Even maybe some of your messages over the last five years?”  Here’s my answer: Yeah, good question. Well, I've grown in my business. I feel like a lot of the episodes are around my growth or my challenges, and what I'm seeing in my clients, as you've said, has probably changed. But as I've grown in my business over the years, my clients have also grown. I'm attracting a higher level of woman, higher achievers, people with bigger challenges. It's funny, I remember working with my business advisor and saying, “I thought when I got to the next success level, things would be easier.” New level, new devil. You get to that next level of success, and you face different problems. But the interesting thing is, a lot of the problems are the same. From earlier in your business to later in your business, there are still issues of life balance, mindset, confidence, and strategy. That doesn't change, it's just at a different level. It also doesn't change between the types of listeners I have, or the types of clients…
It doesn't matter who you are. It does seem to go across the board. Same with age and culture. It's so crazy how it's the same. I think though, over the years, the journey for me has been a little bit more about being more raw, more real, more open, because what I realized is the people online who know me, and out in the world, they get Diane that's on stage, or Diane that's on social media, and I am real, but there is a deeper realness that comes when I'm with my clients. You would know that, Paula, and a bunch of the other people here. All of you see that quirkier side of me or the edgier side of me, or the goofball side, and this is what I'm trying to bring in a little bit more to the podcast.  I think I'm a teacher at heart. I love to teach, to share, and to empower in that way. But a lot of times the response I get the most from is when I show the rougher side and the edgier side, and the softer side and the more vulnerable side. That's where people connect with me more so my evolution has been to share more of that side, not just to let it be seen by the people close to me. It's not that I am choosing online to not be my goofball self. But when you have one message I want the content to be the message. Paula added, “I think sometimes for myself and listening to the podcast, there are moments of serendipity, when you are speaking what I maybe haven't been able to bring to the forefront. I think most recently was about feeling alone, and women in leadership. I think that you know, you're really touching on that rawness and these words and these emotions that are maybe something that we don't want to face, but we need to talk about it and share. Thank you very much. I would love to say I have listened to every single one of them, but I listened to most and every single one exceeds my expectations. Thank you.” Here’s how I replied: Thank you. Thank you for asking that. One other thing I did want to add in is around who I feel like I'm speaking more to now. When I go and record, like today's is amazing, because you're all here and I get to talk to you, which feels like a two-way communication, even though I'm taking more of the mic. But when I record the podcasts, I imagine the woman on the other side who's listening, who's folding her laundry while practicing her next presentation, who is working on a project with a deadline, or who's going for a walk midday at work, or whatever it may be. I'm imagining her and that woman has changed slightly over the years. Now more so, I want to speak to that same high achiever, the woman who's putting herself out there, but I have such a passion now for women who are choosing to fly under the radar. They're choosing to fly under the radar because it's tiring to be cut down. It's the tall poppy syndrome. It's the crabs in the bucket being pulled down when you try to get out or when you stand out. As someone who, over my lifetime, every time I've stood out, I've been cut down somehow. My thing is, I have to just get back up, and keep going, but it's hard. It is so hard. That's where a little bit of why I did that episode around feeling alone is because the strong high-achieving, successful, confident women don't get checked on. I wanted to give them a place where they could hear from someone else who's not just trying to keep up appearances. But who will say, “Yeah, this part sucks and that sucks”. Another client and friend of mine, Jill, also asked a question that segues really nicely here. She said, “How do you deal with unfounded, inappropriate criticisms that being in the public eye exposes you to? Because you rock.” Here’s my answer: Thank you for your kind words Jill. Thankfully, she put this question in advance because I really wanted to think about this one. As a soccer player when I was 10 years old, my own teammates on a boys team didn’t want to partner up with me. They didn't want me there because I am a girl. Then the coach said, “Do you know why Diane's here? Because she's better than most of you.” Well, great, thank you for that. I know his intention was good, but it did not help at all. Still no one wanted to pair up with me for drills. I decided that I didn't want to be there anymore, so I left and I went and played basically a level lower just to be playing with girls who accepted me. In high school, I ran for student council president and the guy who was my opponent attempted to turn everyone against me to try to win. He didn’t win, but it was painful to have him say bad things about me and turn people against me. This caused me to not go for valedictorian which had been a dream of mine because he wanted that too and I didn’t want to battle him again.  This just continued. I've been slandered in business. I've even had people be mean to me at a Christian retreat, who later told me she doesn’t like herself and couldn’t understand why I’d be kind to her. It all came from these unfounded inappropriate criticisms. The thing that's helped me to get through it is good friends and fans. Oh my goodness, when a lot of those things happened, they're so crazy and unfounded that I had to go to friends and be like, “Am I really like that? Does anyone think that?” They're like, “No, it's so untrue. Don't even think of it.” But if you don't have people that you can go to that you trust that you know, and who know you, then you won't be able to get through it. I've basically gotten used to people talking about me negatively. There will always be haters and often that means you are successful. The sad thing is, it's people who don't even know me. Then I just remember, I have people who love me, who really know me. If the people that really know me love me, then I'm good. I've worked on myself so much. I'll admit my faults and weaknesses and I've done the work. When inappropriate comments come in, criticisms, and such, I always look at and ask, is there any way their perspective could be valid? What can I learn from that, and then I let everything else go. I just saw a quote, by Goi Nasu. “An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” I thought that was so good. So good. So true, right? Over the years, as I've shared before I've censored myself. I don't take sides on controversial topics to protect myself. But I'm changing that now. With a few neighborhood friends, I spoke up to a few things that I don't necessarily agree with. That's based on my faith and building my Christianity. It was uncomfortable to say, and I could see her face change and, I said, I still love you as a friend. But I feel differently. I think that's okay, and that's healthy. Then the other side of it is when someone gives me a compliment, I search for more. Not that I'm like, “Oh, tell me more about how great I am.” But if someone says, “I really liked your presentation,” like my talk at the WNORTH conference in Whistler and people said, “Wow, you were so great. I reply, “Thank you. Can you tell me what was great about it?” Because “so great” doesn't tell you as much as, “Wow, you were so energetic. I really liked it when you said this piece. I felt like you were speaking to me.” Now I really understand what the compliments are based on. I always ask for more and the reasons why, like these:
The last question is what I ask after every coaching session, “What was your biggest takeaway from today?” After trainings, talks, keynotes I ask, “What's your biggest insight or your golden nugget?” I always ask that because I'm going to squirrel that away as positive feedback. Same with when my clients do the Dynamic Year program every year, we list all the accomplishments, celebrate them and grab all the wisdom, so we can pull on the positivity, and reasons why we’re awesome. That way we won’t let those once in a while comments or people hurt us. Then other things I do is, I just protect my energy as best I can. I think that comes with age as well. Also, a lot of times people are acting out of jealousy, a lack of confidence, feeling not enough or they've been hurt. Hurt people hurt. Where I can, I confront them. I ask them, “Hey, what's going on for you? What happened there? What was your intention for what you said/did?” I remember I come at things with a heart of mercy and grace, as much as I'm able to give that as a human. Otherwise, if they are so terrible, I don't engage. That's the hardest thing because I'm like, “That's not fair. What you did is unfair, and it's wrong and you're lying, and you're twisting my words around or whatever it may be.” But sometimes not engaging is the best and then just praying about it. It's funny at church, they list off all the people who are sick, or dying, or tragedies hit them and they say now lift up someone that you want to pray for. I often lift up the people who have hurt me the most. In those moments, even though they're not, facing a surgery or in the hospital or dying. I'm still like “Lift these people up”, because that's the only way I cam help them without being hurt again. Wrapping Up Reflecting on these five years with the Dynamic Women Podcast, I’m grateful for the growth that’s come from connecting with listeners and sharing honest conversations. This journey has been about more than just podcasting—it’s been about showing up authentically, embracing vulnerability, and offering a space where women find support and encouragement. Through challenges and moments of self-reflection, I’ve gained resilience and a renewed commitment to the values that drive me. I’m thankful for every listener who has been part of this path, and I look forward to deepening this journey together, bringing even more inspiration and honesty to each episode. If you have topic suggestions, email me directly at [email protected] and I’ll be glad to consider them! Read my other blogs:
Today, I’ll dive into how to find the right virtual assistant for your business needs. (This is the second blog in this series, “The Ultimate Guide to Bringing on a Virtual Assistant”. Read the first blog here where I share about “What Tasks Can a Virtual Assistant Handle for Me?”) How I started in this journey Now, I'm going to be upfront. I took a program on how to hire, even though I have a background in hiring. I used to work in the corporate world, and every single quarter we went through the hiring process, and I was trained in hiring, then I led the hiring, and I felt very confident in that process.  Then moving into working for myself, I hired contractors and freelancers, then hired executive assistants for my business. I also went through that hiring process, but I still invested in someone teaching me how to hire because this was hiring for a virtual assistant in the Philippines, also known as OFS or Online Filipino Specialists. I’ve been taught this process. I paid for this process, so I will not fully teach this process because it's her IP, and I want to honour that. But what I will do is I will talk in general about the things that you need to be thinking about, looking for, and know that you don't need to be really good at the hiring process. That's why we have Virtual Assistant Made Easy because I can hire your virtual assistant for you or match you with one of the VAs on our team that we currently have. We have 13 VAs working with around 33 clients that we have so that is an option, but I'm going to tell you a little bit more about what we do and what we work with so that you can be think about, “Who is going to help me with this process?” Creating your wishlist When you're starting the process of hiring a virtual assistant, whether they are going to be online, international and or someone from your country, you always have to be thinking about what your wish list is. We always ask our clients, “What goals do you have?” It's less about “What are the tasks that you want to delegate”, and more about “What are the goals you have or your business needs”. One of the activities I have my clients do is think about:
People often are concerned, “How do I work with a VA from the Philippines when they are working such a different schedule?” It doesn't have to be that way.  My two main VAs, Kristine and Karissa, work for me starting at about 3PM Pacific Time, but for them, that's like seven in the morning, and it depends on if we're in daylight savings or not, but that's a good time for them. Sometimes at six, sometimes at seven, and they prefer to work during their day. When I hire virtual assistants, I always ask them, “When do you want to work?” They'll say, “I can work anytime”, and I'm like, “But what's ideal for you?” The reason I ask is that some of them like to work through their night. They prefer it because it's cooler, quieter, maybe the internet's faster. No one's bothering them, or that makes them just available during the day to their family. Some of them like to work during their day because maybe they have kids, and they don't want to be working through the night. They want to be around during the day, maybe to be able to get up and take them to school and then come back and work. I always ask, “What's ideal for you?” because I want them to work at the best time for them because I know they're going to be the freshest, and they're going to give me their best work. That's most important to me. Also think about:
You're never going to find someone who knows every single software or platform that you have at an expert level. If you read my blog “What Tasks Can a Virtual Assistant Handle for Me?”, I talked about specialists and generalists, and so I'm going to continue talking about generalists rather than specialists, though some of these different specifics will be helpful with specialists as well. Are there any top qualities that you want them to have, both personally and professionally, and is there anything else that's important to you? You're going to know what you need, and if you don't know all the questions asked, that's where I come in. I ask all these questions. I have two surveys, a “Getting to Know You” survey, and “What Are You Looking for in Your VA” survey? There are a lot of things that people don't think about. They’re things that I've learned in the process and in working with my team of VAs for four years that have really helped me to be able to know the ins and the outs. My hiring process Anytime we go and post job postings for what we're looking for, it's quite the process. We normally get about 300 applicants who apply within about a 24-48 hour period, so we need to wean those down. We have them do a test task, written interviews, interview with me, and a trial week where I put them through activities and tasks to test their ability. These are standardized tasks that we have been using with all of our VAs over the numerous times that we've hired. We hire basically all of them that have been successful in that process. There are covert tests, overt tests, along the whole journey, and I've had to make it extremely black and white whether they pass or they fail at each piece because I totally wear my heart on my sleeve. I read their personal stories and I just want to hire people. I want to give them a chance if they're new, I want to help them out if they're struggling, and hire them if I like their personality but their output is not as good. The process that we have now refined doesn't allow me to hire anyone that I just want to help out or like. It only allows me to hire the people that are the right business decision. I find so many times in people who I've talked to who have tried to hire, they didn't hire the right person to start with, or they wanted to give them a shot, or they didn't have a thorough enough process. They're missing pieces that they didn't even think of to ask about, to test on, and they're giving people way too many chances. Our process takes about 40 hours of time between my VA Kristine and myself, and takes about two weeks to do or more. I really love our process. We've had people from our team say, “Can my wife, husband, brother, friend, neighbor apply?” I reply, “Sure, go ahead, but they have to pass the tests.” I say to my staff, “Please do not help them. Please do not give them a heads up on anything”, because if later, we find out that they're not as good and they just somehow got through with your help, I won't be happy. Our VAs are very good about not helping because they also don't want to come back to them where their family member or friend, neighbor or whatever it may be isn't actually as good as they came across because they were helped. Anyway, we do this process, and we're looking for specific things that are probably concerns that you're having, especially in hiring a virtual assistant from another country, things like,
There are a lot of things that we are looking for in these Filipino VAs and then I hire based on four major criteria:
Even from the very beginning, including the application, it’s very specific about what we're looking for. I hope that it weeds out a lot of people. It also has a really good write-up about us, what we do and what we're looking for and what we're wanting to offer to our virtual assistant. That's a little bit of our process, and then once we have them on board with us, and I've tested them out in the trial period to see what they can do, and I personally review everything, then we bring them on, match them to our clients with as much of that information as possible that's going to tell us, “Yeah, this client's wish list is a really good match for this VA”. Usually, we have someone on our team, or we've just hired someone who is going to be a really good fit for them.  When you are coming into bringing on a VA, as honest as you can be in the beginning and as much prep work as you can do, the better. A lot of people come to me, and say, “Oh, Diane, I'll come to you as soon as I know what I'm going to delegate. I'll come to you as soon as I have my systems and processes in place.” Don't. Don't. Don't. Let me help you with our program VA Made Easy to figure out what to delegate. Let your VA make your systems and processes for you. I train them on how to do that so that you don't have to document processes. Don't try to figure out the hiring process. Just let me match you with one of ours, and then if you're like, “What if I don't like them? What if it's not working out?” Well, my goal is to work with you and to work with them to make sure it is a long, lasting, fabulous relationship, where they are extremely efficient, and you can maximize their time. The more of the hiring and onboarding process I can help with the better you will be matched with a VA because you’ll be clear about the tasks you want done and the hours you want them to work, and I can lead you through all the things you never thought of, like asking if they have a backup generator. Once we make a match, it’s usually a very strong match. The thing that a lot of clients are worried about is “I have to be all prepared before I can actually start working with a VA”. That's actually not true. You just have to have some tasks ready to go. This is why the first couple modules in working with me are going to help you to
These things are crucial in starting to work with a VA and hitting the ground running. Thankfully for you, I set all of that up for you so you don't even have to worry about it, and our VA’s know how to use it. The other thing I have found to be extremely beneficial is making sure that the VA doesn't work for anyone else. You may think, “Well, if I'm only going to give them part-time hours, like ten hours a week, How am I going to give them enough work or enough money to help to keep them employed with just me?” Well, you can't. They're going to need at least 40 hours. But the other thing is, unless you're willing to give them 40 hours, they will work for other people, and they will have other clients and situations pulling at them. What we have decided to do is give the VAs all the hours that they need from just our clients, and so that you know that your VA is not out there looking for other work and trying to line up the next client or the next project. They don't have to worry about that. They have stable consistent employment at a minimum of ten hours per client. They know that they have clients coming in. If one client drops off, they know that I'm going to find another client. This helps them to focus primarily on working with you, and their other clients that are through us. They have stability. To go and hire on your own, unless you're going to give them 40 hours, you probably can't do that. You can't ask them to not work for anyone else. We have, “Cooperative Clients”. If you know that your VA has three other clients, if there's an emergency that someone has, or maybe even you have an urgent task, You are like, “I need this done.” Then they're like, “Well, I'm working for someone else right now. I'll see what I can do.” So they spin around to the other client and they say, “Hey, one of my clients has an emergency. I need to do this right now. Are you okay if I work on these social media posts later today?” More than likely, this other cooperative client will say, “Yeah, no problem.” That's the benefit too, is that your VA:
That's another piece to be thinking about when you're looking to hire a VA. A lot of people have come to me after hiring a VA themselves, and the VA has ghosted them. The VA has not been performing the way they need to be. The VA has quit on them because they found someone better to work for, meaning more money, more hours, better tasks, whatever it may be. Then they're left in the cold. Some come to me, and say, “They never worked out”. If they've hired an agency, a company, who matches them with someone, they come to me and say they didn't feel like they got that personalized connection to the company, and then when it's not working out, they're they're left on their own to try to figure things out. That's definitely not the approach we take. I call it more of a boutique style, where I personally talk to you. I personally know the VAs and I match you, and then if it's not working on either side, it's my job to talk to both of you and help to make that work because it's much easier to get that to work. A lot of times it's just a miscommunication. But that's the good thing about having a mediator in there, to be able to help both sides to be really happy because it helps you to be more efficient with the time that you have, and to get more done and to work better together for the long term. But hey, if it doesn't work out, I'm also here to support that and to match you with another one of our VAs. There are so many things to think about in that process of finding the right virtual assistant for your business needs, but the key thing just to be thinking about is what's your wish list, so that you can specifically request what you're looking for. If you want me to hire your virtual assistant for you or match you with one of our team members, then please reach out to me, [email protected]. We'd love to invite you into the VA Made Easy Program where getting a VA is much easier, and you're going to have the proven strategies that I put into place in my business and through my experience. Not only hiring Kristine and Karissa and being able to work with them for 40 hours a week for the past four years, but also hiring my team who are successfully working with 30+ clients at the moment. If you have questions, feel free to reach out. I'd be happy to clarify any questions that you have. But remember, it's not going to get any easier if you keep trying to do everything yourself. Today might be the day where you need to pass off some work. Please know that this blog is also recorded as a podcast on the Dynamic Women Podcast, as well as on my Diane Rolston YouTube Channel. If you prefer to watch it or listen to it, you have both options. If you're wondering, “How did Diane do it all?” I don't do it all. I record one video per week, and my team creates the YouTube video, the podcast, the blog, all the social posts and the newsletter that shares about all of them. Do you want that process done? Reach out. Let's connect and have you join VA Made Easy. Until next time. Stay dynamic. Read my other blogs:
|
Archives
December 2024
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed