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“How are you?” We always say it, but did you know that you could be using this simple greeting in the wrong way?  It may seem simple, but the question “How are you?” “How you doin’?” “How you goin’?” can be taken the wrong way. It can be used in the wrong fashion. I didn't really put too much weight on this in the past. I know that people ask this question and use it as a greeting. Our common answers to this question are:
Then, we ask the other person the same question and they give a quick response. After that, it’s over and done with. But how often have you actually asked other people the deeper question of “How are you really doing?” or “How are you actually doing?” So often, we just use it as a greeting, and then we're on our way. We don't actually stand there and wait for the FULL response. We don't notice when there are inconsistencies with how someone is appearing: how they’re acting, their voice, their tone, the inflection, and the way their body language is speaking something completely different. Have you ever noticed the time when you've said to someone, “How are you doing?” And they answer, “Oh, okay.” Then, you feel there's something deeper here. “I'm okay or “I'm good” isn't actually how they're feeling, but you don’t ask for more. Why don’t you? We’ve all been there. Maybe you don't have time to find out how they really feel, or you don’t want to pry or it makes you feel uncomfortable or you’re just not that close to them. How many times have you been asked this simple question, and you've given a quick “Good” or “Okay” but really deep down, you were hurting or there was more to that “I'm okay.” But you weren't ready to stop them from just being a greeting and to say more about how you're actually feeling. This came to light when I was in an “after convention hangout”, and some of my colleagues were having a lot of light conversations. There were a lot of jokes, reminiscing, talking about what we learned, and sharing our goals. Then there was a pause and someone asked one of the attendees, “How are you?” She opened up and shared that she’s actually not doing okay and she’s not doing fine, the truth came out. The truth of how:
We welcomed her honesty. It gave her the space to share. I know I could relate. At the time, I was dealing with my father's death, and I didn't feel like myself. If you were to ask me right now how I am doing, I'm going to give you the real answer. I'd say I'm starting to feel more like myself. But if you'd asked me a few months ago, I probably would have said, “Well, I'm okay. I'm fine.” But if you asked me how I'm really doing, and paused to hear, I would have told you, “I'm struggling.” I would have told you grief sucks. This colleague of ours had the courage to share more and had the courage to go into the truth of how she really was feeling.  It was nice for her to have that space for us to listen to her. Do you know what flowed after that? The truth. The truth of how everyone else was doing. No one had to keep up appearances anymore. More people shared about
We had the ultimate sharing. What it came down to was someone asking her, “How are you really?” and being there to hear the answer. It makes me wonder how many of the people around you or me are not doing well. But we don't ask them in a way that's not a greeting. I wonder if hundreds of thousands of years ago people used the expression, “How are you?” Maybe people used it to find out how others are doing rather than just to spark a conversation with your neighbor. Maybe as you were cutting down a tree, or plowing a field, or bartering and exchanging goods, you actually had a conversation. You knew each other so well that you would share more. But in today's world, the way things are, we're Zooming with people across the world. We're jumping into networking events and conferences online. We're rushing from here to there. And the greeting of “How are you” just stays at that. It becomes a rhetorical question. It doesn't really even matter what people say because are we really listening? This is what my colleague brought forward. She said people ask her all the time how she's doing, but do they really want to know the full answer? She didn’t think so. I wonder how long this colleague of mine felt unheard, but also how much of it is our responsibility to be able to say, “Hey, I really want to tell you how I'm doing. I'm ready to tell you now.” A little while later in true Canadian style, she apologized to the group for dumping it on them. I private messaged her, “Don't ever apologize for speaking the truth of where you're at.”  If we encourage people to keep their true feelings inside, imagine what will happen. This is when it becomes too much, unbearable. If people are struggling, if they are having negative feelings or a hard time in life, then they need to not walk the journey alone. But how do they know who they can talk to if we don't ask them in a way where we stand there and we wait for the response? I'm not judging because I constantly do a quick “Hey, how's it going?” to people as I catch them in the mall or walking down the street or at the school playground, especially now in the days where we have to stay so separated by 2 metres or when we're on Zoom meetings and everybody's listening. That's using the quick “Hey, how's it going?” as a greeting because there are too many people in the room to get an actual response. But how about if we just took a little bit more notice… lingered a little bit longer after asking the question… checked for consistency, congruence between what their body and their look, their appearance, their tone, their intonation is telling you compared to the words they actually used. If they say “I'm fine” or “I'm good,” then don't be afraid to follow up with them with:
Sometimes we just need that door to open to be able to share more of our feelings and of what is going on in our lives. How many times have we opened the door for others? I get that you're not going to do this with the waitress or a cashier. You're going to say your greeting, and maybe when they say they're good, you're going to say, “Well, I hope you continue to have a good day.” Maybe we extend the conversation a little bit beyond. If you haven't seen a friend for a while, why not reach out and ask how they are really doing. Rather than just a text, an email, or a message in some other capacity, why don't you get on the phone and really ask? Have a conversation. If you yourself feel like people are just asking you this rhetorical question, and they don't really care about the answer then take responsibility for it. Tell people you need them to listen. Say, “Thank you for asking. I'm actually not doing really well” if that's the truth about where you are. Choose the right people you want to do that with so that you have a safe space to share more and so they can then support you. If we remain quiet and we don’t share with others how it's going, no one will be able to step up and help. You don’t have to walk this alone. There are many people out there who can help. Maybe not people in your current life, maybe not people you know, but there are people on call lines. There are people at churches. There are people who are trained to support you like counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and coaches. There are people out there that can support you beyond “How are you?” As you go into the world, I encourage you, if you're going to do a greeting of “How are you?” that's fine. Just look for those inconsistencies. When you have the time or create the time, linger a little longer to look for the true answer and if you sense that the person is not fine or not good, and there's a little bit more underneath:
Or remind them that you're there to support them if they ever need it. If everyone did this, COVID would be a little bit easier to deal with. Life would be a little bit easier to get through. We'd all know that we weren't alone in this crazy world.
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Are you not getting the results you really want? Are you not happy with the speed to get those results? When you’re going towards your goal, you put in time, resources, and energy. Maybe in your business, you're trying some different marketing efforts. Then you realize that you’re not getting the return on investment that you’re looking for. Or you think you’ve got this goal that you want to reach, but you’re just not quite getting there fast enough.  One of the most common errors I see is that people are not investing in the right areas. I don't mean the right area of life or the right area of their business. It really boils down to three things:
One of these three things is the real reason why you have an obstacle. All obstacles stopping you from achieving your goal, getting the results that you want and having you feeling stuck come from either mindset, skillset, or network. Ask yourself:
Answering these questions will help you choose which of the three areas you need to invest in and focus on. When I use the words “invest in”, I don't mean that you're investing in a business, like you're giving them $100,000 in capital or you're investing in a real estate property, or you're investing in stocks and bonds. However, the same kind of rules apply. If you put in so much money, then you should be getting back more than what you invested. It should have an ROI, return on investment. Spending money means that it's gone. It disappears. But when you're investing in something, you're looking to get a higher return. It's not just investing your money, it's also investing your time and investing your energy. Let’s see if your problems are part of your mindset, skillset, or network. Mindset Mindset really helps you to feel like you can go for it and feel like you can achieve it. Mindset examples are:
When you have a top mindset, when you're really playing at that higher level:
 I was playing soccer the other day, and there was a 50/50 ball between my team's player and their team's player. As they came up, their player hesitated to jump in to get that free ball. In that split second, her mindset threw her off. Her mindset caused her to hesitate and her mindset caused her to lose the ball. My teammate got it. So I ask you now, how is your mindset inhibiting your business and your life? Where is it holding you back? Where is it stopping you from feeling like you can achieve things? When we don't feel like we can achieve something, it might cause perfectionism. Where we just keep going over and over and over something and tweaking and perfecting but we never actually finish. Our mindset makes us procrastinate because we don't believe we can do it, so we avoid it and we do other things rather than actually pushing forward and trying it out. The sad thing is, when you hesitate, someone else is going to pick up that
They are going to have that opportunity because their mindset is on point. When you think of Olympic sprinters, their physical ability in running is only fractions of seconds from each other. Their ability to go from being an Olympian to being a gold medalist and the Silver and Bronze is so close. Most of that comes down to mindset training. How is your mindset holding you back? Skillset Ask yourself these questions:
When I started my business, I didn't know how to offer from stage. I didn't know how to build programs. I didn't know how to even coach. So I had to invest in training, mentors, and coaches to be able to boost these.  I'm sure if you've had a business or you work in a business or even in your career, you've had some form of training or some form of skills taught to you so that you're able to take on new or more difficult tasks. If you're going towards something new in your business, something that's the next level, or even in your life, you need to have that special skill set. You need to invest in the training/education, mentors, and coaches to be able to do that. If that's the piece that's holding you back, if that's the piece that has you stuck, let me tell you:
If you feel like a specific skill set is where you're lacking, you don't have the right skills or the right talents to move you forward, like
Then there are places you can go. This is where you need to invest your time, energy and money to upgrade or master a skill. Network This can happen over time or you can be really good at it and have your network grow pretty quickly. Your network is the people you serve. It's the people you know. It's the people you can offer to, and those who surround you, like mentors, coaches, colleagues who push you forward. The truth is with no platform or network, your success will be slower, and it will take more energy. It's much easier with other people as your fans and connections. With the right people, you can leverage their network in order to push your business forward. You don't have to be a lone wolf. AND you don't have to be Superwoman. I know we're trying to do all these things ourselves or we're trying to have a lean startup, but leveraging your network is so smart. Even if you don't have the money, maybe you have the time. You could trade. You could barter with other people. You could do an hour for hour swap with someone who has something that you want and/or you have a skill or talent that they want. I'm part of CAPS or the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers. I was speaking with someone who is producing the networking content for our convention this year. She wanted to talk to me because she says I'm the queen of networking, which made me laugh and also really felt good to hear. It made me think well, what is it that makes me the queen of networking?
It's collaborators. It's joint venture partners. It’s affiliates. All three add so much to your network. When we started talking about the different CAPS networking and breakouts that they were going to do between the educational and keynote sessions, I got quite excited. I was thinking that this is going to be so cool. It’s going to be a really great opportunity to expand my network and for all the attendees to be able to expand their networks as well.  When you expand your network, so much more can happen and it will happen much faster. So answer this, how can you expand your network by investing time, energy, and money into it? What You Can Do If you’re not where you want to be, it is because you're lacking one of the three areas: mindset, skillset or network. Which is the one you need to focus on right now? Maybe you're honest and think, “Oh, Diane, it's all three.” Well, it doesn't have to be all three. You can just pick one right now. Pick the one that makes the most sense. Once you pick the area that you want to focus on, then ask yourself: What do I have an abundance of? Is it time, energy, or money? Then invest that into that area. Options for Mindset
Options for Skillset
Options for Network
Your best investment in life and in business is not always in things like cars, houses, stocks, bonds, or items you want. I know that there will be financial advisors that will tell you to invest in those things. Yes, you need to. But I’ve found that not enough attention is put on investing in your mindset, your skill set, and your network. When you do, you can get a higher return. These are areas that cannot be taken from you. Lastly, the only way to be able to hit your goals is by investing in yourself. So which one do you want to work on right now? Is it mindset, skill set, or your network? Which one needs to take top priority right now?
In my last blog, I talked about the seven problems in our culture that are holding you back from your happiness. Now, I am going to share the things that we do. Once you start tackling these things, you're going to be able to clear space and find more satisfaction in life. Number 1: We fail to put ourselves on our list The list of what? The list of priorities, the list of items that are a need or a want to be able to have a fulfilling life. That’s the key. I recently hung out with a bunch of really successful professionals. They are amazing, smart, kind, and giving women who when asked the question of “What are your personal goals?” had no friggin idea! None at all. I'm not blaming them. It's just sad. It is sad that there are still so many people out there who have no idea (men, kids, adults included) who still don't know what brings them joy, what they should do for fun. People come to me and I look at their whole lives, and we talk about satisfaction in every area of life. Fun and recreation is often neglected. The health side is often neglected. And we're doing it to ourselves, as well as not seeing where society does it to us.  Number 2: We fail to live according to our values I don't mean morals. I mean values. The things that make us tick. The things that give us our energy, our mojo, our resonance. When we are honoring our values, we’re in alignment. I do a Values Discovery Session, helping you figure out your values. You can't do it yourself. You need someone else to be looking in and asking you questions. But once you figure that out, you're going to know where you're aren’t honouring your values and who is dishonouring your values. When you're in alignment, you have energy. When you're OUT of alignment, you feel a void of energy. It feels like you're pushing and you can be so tired and overwhelmed from it. Number 3: We fail to give to ourselves first We give others the opportunity to have food, to have rest, or to have sleep. As nurturers, we give before we receive and make sure everyone else is good. I don't know how many times:
We don't give to ourselves first even though you all know that analogy around, “You have to put your own oxygen mask on first.” Number 4: We don't get support to make it happen We often say to ourselves:
You are, but you can have support to make all of these things happen. You can have support to figure out what you want. You don't need to do or know everything yourself. It's okay to hire a coach, a counselor, a psychologist, or psychiatrist, someone to support you in this, as well as all the health side of things: a naturopath, a homeopath, a chiropractor, a massage therapist. Whatever you need to support you in your growth. It's okay to get help!  Number 5: We do not take care of our own needs all the time We wait. We put it off. This was very apparent to me when I’d been home working all day. I might have had one child at home at the time as well. Or I brought them to daycare and back or my other child to school and back and then I'm home and making dinner and I'm cleaning up and everyone comes in and then my husband disappears! I'm like, “Where did he go?” He just walked in the door. The kids need attention. I'd like some help, and he disappeared. Then I hear the water running. He went to have a shower. I was so shocked. Why? Because I would never dare have a shower now because there's dinner that needs to be made, the house needs to be picked up, the kids need our attention, and he needs my attention. I'm going to shower when all of that is done and the kids are in bed and lunches are packed and maybe laundry has been folded. I realized that I was not taking care of my needs and I saw how I could learn so much from him. I needed to learn that it's okay:
How funny that I was pissed at first, but now I'm grateful that his action of simply going to have a shower gave me permission to take care of my own needs like he was. Number 6: We fail to ask better questions of ourselves and of others We don't ask ourselves:
What if these questions were more common at parties and get-togethers rather than, “What do you do?” being the topic. What if one of these were the first question we ask people rather than “What do you do?” because “What do you do for fun?” “What do you enjoy? What brings you joy?” That's something that will carry through your whole life. But “What you do?” isn't always something that will be there forever. Number 7: We fail to listen to our intuition It is talking to you. It is telling you what you need. It is sharing with you what you desire. If we listen to our intuition, that little voice, a little positive voice that is answering these questions or giving us nudges, we'd be happier.  For example, I kept getting nudges around drumming. The kind where you hold a drum between your legs and hit it. I thought about it a lot and mentioned it to clients. I eventually took African drumming. I took the course every Sunday afternoon. I would go and I would do African drumming with a circle of other people all learning it. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I thought I could just whack it and you can't because there are techniques to it. What are your little intuition pieces telling you? You have opportunities when you listen to your intuition. Another example is following my intuition when picking my courses for university. I was flipping through the Course Guide and for some reason, the Japanese course was something that I was drawn to. I heard the little voice saying, “I want to do that.” There was something pushing me to do it. At the end of my four years of university, I loved all things Japanese. I loved the language so much that I went on an adventure to Japan for not just one year, but three! Now it’s your turn! Over the next 24 hours, I encourage you to listen to the little voice. The little voice may be saying:
That little voice is helping you out. I feel super passionate about this. I want you to be able to answer the question of “What do you like to do?” If you were a client of mine and we were working together through this right now, I would probably do a values exercise to help you find your values. I'd go through the Wheel of Life so we could find out exactly what you are wanting. I would take you through some exercises so you not only have clarity, but are excited and motivated and you have a plan! If you want to delve into this further, if the answer to this question is eluding you, or you're not quite sure if you have the right answer, I really encourage you to reach out. Let's have a chat. Let's see how I can support you. Why bother? Because there's a piece of you that wants more. That there's going to be a time when you're not so busy (the kids leave, you have more time or space, or you earn enough money so you don't need to work anymore). How are you going to fill your time and space? How are you going to get right in tune with yourself? You can reach me at [email protected] or click here. Read my other related blogs here:
1. Seven Problems Holding YOU Back from Your Happiness 2. Want more success? Then pull up your big girl panties! 3. How successful women replace BAD habits with GOOD Ones Have you been asked, “What are your hobbies?” or “What do you do for fun?” and you didn’t know how to answer those questions? I’ve been meeting and finding people, especially women, who:
Something is holding them back from their happiness. Those questions are common. Not knowing how to answer them is also common! Not knowing the answer feels super frustrating! The crazy thing is that you're smart and successful and you should know the answers to these questions, shouldn’t you?  This happens because there are problems in our culture. Let's talk about the seven ways that basically our society or culture is screwing you over. These are the seven reasons why there are problems in our culture that are stopping you from knowing the answers to this question. The 1st Problem: As women, we are seen or expected to be Superwomen. Maybe you've heard of the Superwoman syndrome. I teach about that in some of my workshops with female leaders. We are expected to do it all. We are expected to be:
We are looking to be amazing at every single role or title that we could possibly have. Why is that? Because we grew up in a time many of us (if you're my age) where our moms were mainly housewives. There are a lot of moms out there that right now are housewives, but we're now in another time where we're also expected to be a great housewife and have a successful career. We're also expected to do a billion other things extremely well.  My role model is my mom. I think about how she was there, driving me around to sports, part of the school PAC, baking zucchini muffins and so much more! I feel like I’m not doing those things, and I ask myself, “Am I not a good mom? Do I need to step up?” We're expected to be Superwomen. But the truth is, we're not. We're not Superwomen. But we are amazing. We are extraordinary, but we don't need to be perfect at every single title that we could possibly have. The 2nd Problem: We keep so much in our heads. We have to have so much in our heads:
We have to keep everyone else's schedule in our heads: when our family members have to go to the doctor’s and birthdays. Everything! I'm not saying just in your head, but maybe in your planner. We have to control these things a majority of the time. From what I've seen, this is the case with so many women. The 3rd problem: We are constantly asked to help. We are always asked to help:
We’re constantly asked to help. In my case, I feel guilty that I'm only now attending the PAC meetings. I look around and see all these other moms. Well, where are the dads? Are the dads getting asked to be on the PAC? Are they? I'm not seeing it. I see one or two dads then the rest are female staff at the school or the moms. We're constantly asked to help. My husband has never been asked to do a meal train. EVER. I wonder if he even knows what it is! We're usually the ones that do drop off and pick up for everything. We're often the ones that are asked. No wonder you don't have to have time for hobbies because you're constantly being asked to help others. And what do we do? We often say “Yes.”
We get asked and we say yes. It's not a problem to say “Yes.” But the problem is that we're often asked, and then we feel obligated to say “Yes.” All. The. Time. The 4th Problem: Giving selflessly is rewarded. We often hear statements like:
We are rewarded when we give selflessly. I would really love it if women can be more self full. Full of self. Full of knowing themselves. Full of giving back to themselves. But it's not happening enough. The 5th Problem: Being busy is a badge of honor. I can't just sit and do nothing. I can't even watch a movie and not do anything. I'm watching a movie AND I am folding laundry. Do you relate to this? Do you feel like you can't just sit and chill? You have to be doing something. Then people say, “Oh, you're so busy. You've got so much going on.” Yeah, I do. But the thing is being overly busy is killing us. I was asked to be part of a board that they said would be great for me. I said, “I can’t, I’m busy.” They said, “We’re all busy.” I said “No, you don't understand. I don't have the bandwidth to do this.”  Recently, I've been having to say this more. No one told me this, but if you've ever had grief, it is debilitating! It screws with your focus. I am a rock star when I coach my clients, but man, I can't remember someone's name that I saw the other day. I do so many things that I'm tired. I'm so tired. So I've had to be kinder to myself. Being busy should not be a badge of honor. We should be able to have quiet time, chill time, time for ourselves or time to rest. And celebrate time for ourselves. The 6th Problem: People can be shocked when you have your own time. I have friends whose husbands go on hunting trips, fishing trips, rugby trips, and even business trips and no one ever says to them, “Oh, but who's taking care of the kids?” or “Doesn't your work need you or anything?” Nothing like that is said. It's always like, “Cool, have fun.” or “Where are you going? How long are you going for?” Whenever I take a trip to another country to have a conference or workshop, can you guess what I’m asked? They ask, “Oh, how is your husband going to handle the kids? Isn’t he also working when you’re away? Oh, he’ll have to cook or did you leave him some meals.” Well, I handle the kids a lot of the time. I friggin work, too! And my hubby never made me meals when he left on one of his trips. It blows my mind that they’ll ask if I’ll take the kids with me. No, I’m not taking the kids with me. Do we ask guys if they are taking the kids with them on their trip? No! Because we think moms are at home. Let me tell you about another thing. I play soccer on a Sunday morning. I'll say, “Oh, I can't go to that event because I have soccer.” Then someone often says, “Can’t someone else drive your child?” I’m like, “It’s MY soccer.” I think they’re shocked that someone who is not younger is doing something that they love. Would we be shocked that a guy is playing a sport? I don't think so. Another example is once a year, I'll go to Whistler or I'll go somewhere and I'll have an overnight. Just me. It's the most amazing thing. I drive there, go to the spa, hang out, shop around, go hike, sleep in, stroll around, etc. Sometimes I come back when the kids are in bed so I wouldn’t have to do bedtime! People are shocked. Why isn't it okay that I go? It’s not crazy that I went away. We need to rest and recharge. The 7th Problem: We honor success and accomplishments over satisfaction. We're constantly looking at people and see that they:
But the person can be miserable. I know people that are in unhappy marriages because
But they're not happy. They're not satisfied. What if we focus first on what brings us joy and satisfaction. I'm not suggesting we break up marriages. I'm definitely not saying that. But I'm saying we need to focus on what brings us satisfaction rather than striving for success. These are the seven problems that prevent you from being able to do the things that you need to do for yourself. Can you relate to any of these? Let me know in the comments!
Read my other related blogs: 1. We are Starved for this - How to Deal with “I am NOT Enough” 2. The Three Things That Make You EXTRAORDINARY 3. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions The world is starved for Recognition AND Appreciation. Are you part of the problem? I think a lot of it comes from what would be considered the number one limiting belief, which is “I am not enough."  We are constantly judging ourselves. (And by “we” I mean women.) We are comparing ourselves to high standards. Now maybe not everyone has the same standards, but there’s often at least one of these questions...
There's always judgment. Sadly, it can be by us, by friends, by family, by society, or by culture. It's very easy for us to feel starved for recognition, starved for appreciation because we're needing to feel like we're enough. Now, let me ask you:
First of all, if this is happening to you or happening to those around you, this is how people feel when they are not recognized or appreciated. They feel a little bit like, “Why bother?”
And when you're in that place of “Why bother?” you feel apathetic. You're not driven. You're not driven to achieve. Can you relate to that? What area in your life do you feel underappreciated? Have you done things that have gone unrecognized? You may have been in one of these situations:
 If you are suffering from this, I'm sorry, that sucks! I'm on a mission to teach people to easily combat this. Acknowledge Others If we just change the conversations we're having by doing this one thing I'm going to share, the world would be a better place. If you're doing this action properly every single day:
Simple Solution You can acknowledge others. I'm sure you already know how to compliment someone. You say things like:
Since you know how to compliment, we can now move to acknowledging a person for who they are, what they have done, and who they’re being. This tells the person they have good qualities, they’re liked and they’re more than good enough! It's really simple. It's four words, or it's five words. Five-Word Version The five-word version is “You are a/an + adjective + the role or title that they have (sister, brother, mother, father, friend).” We can acknowledge them for really any role or any title. For example, you can say, “You are a driven entrepreneur." For a more personal example, my daughter made a beautiful “Dream Big” picture. I can say to her, “You are a creative artist” or “You are an imaginative designer." Four-Word Version This is supposed to be super-duper simple. An example is, “You’re a loving mother.” Here, “you are” just becomes “you’re." I want you to be thinking about short and sweet. Just give them the full acknowledgement and drop it there. By acknowledging someone else, you are giving them a word gift. It's an acknowledgement to who they are as a person. You are witnessing something good in them, a good skill, a good quality, or a good trait. How would you feel if you received one of these acknowledgments? Pretty darn good! You’d feel awesome!
Don’t Mess it Up Sometimes when I do this activity with clients or women in my Dynamic Woman Global Community, they want to add on, and add on, and add on more reasons. When you add on the reason why you said the acknowledgment, they might grab onto it and then make it untrue. For example, you go to an event that is really well put together and really well decorated. So you say to the host. “Thank you. You are a fantastic host.” This is a great acknowledgement and well received. But you don’t stop there, you mention the balloon decorations, the platters of food and the music. Now the host doesn't think they’re a great host because they ordered the balloons, the food was catered and your friend organized the music. And it may be fine if you want to maybe add one more adjective. You can say, “You’re a loving and caring friend.” But wouldn't it be nice to use one and make it the focal point or the center of it. You can also drop the title or role and just say, “You're so loving” or “You're so loyal.” But it sometimes helps to give a little context. For instance, if I said to a friend, “You’re so strong.” Is that physically strong, mentally strong, emotionally strong, or strong to get through things? On the other hand, if I said, “You're such a strong athlete.” We know it's physically strong. Giving the title gives some context. Be part of the solution In the beginning, I said that the world is starved for appreciation and recognition. If you are going to help to solve this problem, let's talk about what that would look like. Let's say someone had surgery that they had to face or they're going to be facing, and you said, “You're such a courageous woman,” left it at that, just let that land that's going to positively affect that person's circumstances.  It's going to start to squash and push down the saboteur’s negative thoughts and negative self-judgments and negative limiting beliefs that come up. Acknowledgements are so simple. I encourage you to look for opportunities to give these gifts. They don't cost a cent. With what's going on in the world today, we really need to be seen in a positive way. We need to be reinforced and given that energy of an acknowledgement from someone else and then that will ripple out to others. Maybe they then look to acknowledge others as well. Maybe you will start to get acknowledged more. When you do this in an authentic way, it builds positivity and awesomeness with you and that person. Answer these questions:
This is one aspect of pillar number six in my Dynamic You Program and book where I talk about being Magnetic. When you can do this to connect with others, to be more approachable, and to be positive, people will be drawn to you. This is how I said that you're going to be able to build your network. If you do this action every day, you're going to be able to attract more connections. You're going to build stronger relationships. If you have employees, you'll retain them longer. And overall, you will be happier. It doesn't cost you a thing to say these four or five words. I encourage you to do so. Let me know how many you could do in one day. Could you do 5? 10? A hundred? Let me know how it goes and let me know how the other person responded. How did you make them feel by giving them that acknowledgement? You don't have to ask them. Just check in with them. What do you notice? How did they receive it? I am a coach, a speaker, and I run the Dynamic Women Global Community. It's a place I love to go live. I love to give tips, tricks, and trainings on how to be more dynamic in all areas of life. This Online Facebook Group is a complimentary. You are welcome to join! I appreciate you. I appreciate you because without you being here to read my blogs, I couldn't do the work I do. Thank you very much. Here's a list of my related blogs:
1. I know where your hidden power is... 2. How to Easily Attract Your Dreams 3. 5 ways I am grateful for women who came before How did you get where you are? This is often a question that I receive. It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. If you’ve been listening to the Dynamic Women Podcast… If you’ve been reading my blogs… If you’ve been a client of mine… If you’ve been in the Dynamic Women Community… If you’ve been in one of my programs... It means we have spent time together. Especially if you’re a client, I know you quite well. Maybe I don't know your childhood story. Maybe I don't know how you got into what you did or what you're doing currently, but there's some merit in sharing. I’m going to go back a little bit to when I was a little girl. Why would I share a little bit more about myself? So you can learn about yourself. As I go through this, I want you to think of what you resonate with and what you can apply to your own life. The Beginning Ever since I was little, I have loved to teach. I also loved to talk as well, but teaching was something I was praised for. With speaking, I was told by my mom that if I spoke for a living, I’d be rich. This is because I spoke so much. Haha! I can’t blame my parents! I have two older brothers. They were four and eight years older. I was often told what to do or I'd run behind them doing my best to get them to play with me. Eventually, I found some friends in my neighborhood.
In school, the teacher would put the kids who struggled beside me, so I could help them understand things in a different way if they didn't catch on to how the teacher taught it.  I loved doing this. Using my creativity to teach it in a new way, that moment when they got it, the appreciation they felt, and how my teacher would continue to give me that responsibility... I then felt I was a leader. I went on to be my elementary school valedictorian, captain of sports teams, chair of clubs, and President of Student Council in high school. Again, using my communication, teaching, and leadership skills. This drove me to do double honors in English and Media Information and Technoculture (MIT) at The University of Western Ontario. I kept the door open to become an English teacher or a broadcast journalist. And I continued to play sports by being part of the varsity rugby team. Maybe you've been in that place of having two different passions. Two things you wanted to pursue. When you weren't sure which to pick, you just kept both doors open. That seemed to be a pattern for me through quite a bit of my youth. Working Diane After graduating, I spent three years in Japan, teaching ESL and doing narration work for companies like Toyota. And so there I was, teaching and speaking, and a little bit of leadership. When I returned, I did my ESL certification and started teaching right away in Toronto to immigrants. I loved that I wasn't just teaching them English, but a way of life. I was almost mentoring them in what they needed to do to be successful in starting their new life in Canada. When I moved to British Columbia from Ontario, for love, I started teaching for a company right away. I quickly moved up the ranks to become the head instructor who helped hire, train, and support the teachers and develop curriculum for the students. So again, I'm using my teaching, speaking, and leadership skills. I was living in a beautiful city, making lots of new friends. I got engaged to my boyfriend at the time and my desire to lead, teach, and speak were being rewarded in every possible way. This was about 12 years ago. Going Down Even with all of my success, why was I going home every night wanting to re-energize somehow, sitting on the couch, drinking wine, eating crappy foods. Maybe you've had that kind of situation where you're looking to escape. Even worse, I didn't care to exercise, and coming from the life of being a competitive athlete, a varsity rugby player, a soccer player, and a gym rat, it was crazy. I gained a lot of weight and that was really hard. I shut myself off from others. I was still going to Toastmasters and other commitments as I was just keeping up appearances, putting on a happy face or so I thought... Until one day my friend Rozz said, “Diane, what's up? You've lost your spark.” That was the moment where I couldn't hide it any longer. I knew something was missing. But I didn't know how to fix it. That was the time that I couldn't put on a brave face and just grin and bear it anymore. And the craziest thing was that people around me who really knew me, knew something was up! Then began some of the hardest times of my life. I didn't know what was wrong with me:
I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what was wrong with me or what was wrong with my life. I then postponed my wedding. But that wasn't it either! I was looking for something outside of me to make it all better. The Bottom Then one day, while at work, I hit the bottom. It was at that moment I realized I needed someone outside to help me to get some clarity on what I really wanted, what I needed to do, and how I could get there faster than on my own.  I got on Craigslist, and I typed in “life coach”. That's what everyone does at that moment, right? Haha! I just had an urge to do it. You won’t believe it, a girl in my area had posted only an hour before offering complimentary coaching to four people! The Turnaround I'm not going to go into too much detail about what happened next. But the Coles Notes version is that I did eventually marry that man. I left that job. I bought a house and we now have two beautiful children. I found my calling and started the coaching certification process very shortly after working with her and immersing myself in not only the program but applying everything I was learning by working with clients.
I had found my purpose and I finally was able to know the piece that was missing:
I'm so blessed to have been able to coach men and women from all over Canada, the United States, and beyond. I help them get back in tune with what really matters to them.
 Just like when I was little and sat beside those kids in school, I feel like the lucky one being able to blaze a trail and stand beside female business leaders coaching them to succeed. I've also become a mom to two kids, and am just so fulfilled that my business is in leading, building community, coaching and teaching, and doing it all my way, according to my values and my priorities. Can I ask you something? What was it that stood out for you? Was there some insight that you gained? Drop it in the comments. If you resonate with hitting the bottom…
Share with me. Let's set up a coaching session. I'll walk you through it. Another cool place that I love to hang out is my Dynamic Women Global Club. Join this community so we can spend more time together. I hope this gave you a little bit of insight into why I love to do what I do. There are definitely more stories and more things that have happened to me and for me in my life. They have shaped me and put me into positions and opportunities where I've been able to grow and stretch and have the life I do today. Read my other related blogs here:
1. 5 ways I am grateful for women who came before 2. How I Got My Butt Kicked 3. My biggest inspirations to create my life: Mom, Madonna & ME Have you ever thought of writing a book or being in a book? Do you know that saying “Yes” to an amazing opportunity could change your life forever? In this blog, I'm going to be sharing a little story from a client of mine who said “Yes” to an opportunity. The opportunity The opportunity was being in a collaborative book with me and other top thought leaders, experts, and dynamic women who are doing well in their industry or have a really cool story or experience to share.  Every year, I put out a Dynamic Women anthology or collaborative book, a compilation of stories that I've curated from amazing women. The first book was Dynamic Women® Success Secrets. All the women were sharing stories and secrets on success in whatever industry they're in, or whatever part of life they want to share from. Now, when I was working on the second book, the Dynamic Women® Confidence Secrets, I reached out to my authors to ask if they wanted to share the feelings they had in writing their piece or their experience in writing for the book. I really wanted to include some stories from these authors in one of my presentations coming up at a summit. The Response was so Touching What I said in the post was, “I really want to feature and highlight some of you. I'm also looking for authors who are appreciative of the opportunity to be in the book and how it has enhanced your life or helped you reach some success.” The response I got from one of the authors was just so very touching. One of the ladies said, “Hey, I really want to share because I thank you every day when I sit down to write my own book. My belief in myself and my ability to write has grown from that first seed planted by having the opportunity to share in the Dynamic Women Success Secrets book.” That was such a rewarding message to receive. She said that she was going to send me a letter explaining this even further. And what was really cool was I didn't expect the extensive and deep response that I got. Planting a seed But first of all, I want you to think, have you had someone plant a seed, just kind of drop a little idea or a little nudge to get you going in that direction?  Maybe you think you couldn't do it yourself. Maybe you're currently in that situation where you're thinking, “Oh my gosh, do I take the leap? Do I do it? Do I go for it?” Her letter Read her letter. Then, you can come up with your own answer of should if you do it or not. From Paula Kent: “I had always dreamt of writing a book; I found joy in reading aloud when I was little. A secret activity allowing me to share in the words and to experience how my favourite authors pieced together the stories that captivated me. I imagined I could join their ranks, to write a great story, but fear and my own self-doubt locked away my hopes. I pushed it down, not wanting to risk others telling me I couldn't do it, and to be honest, taking any step to bring my dream back into the light scared me. It was my choice to enter graduate school, which had me pull that dream out of hiding. While I was writing in an academic style, the action of thought generation and word choice dusted off the childhood dream, and I once again found that spark joy. Yet, I never polished that dream; it was enough to write for school. To go deeper into that dream never occurred to me, an unspoken and unrealized fear held me back. It was an email that changed all that, one email inviting me to find out more, and participate in an anthology and share my success secrets. Thoughts rocketed around in my mind; success? Write? What? It was the idea that Diane thought I had something to share, more than any inner confidence that led me to attend that first information session. What I heard excited me; my dream of writing and of being an author, oh it grew legs and burst wide open. Just imagining that someone would read my words, it was an intoxicating pull. I joined, so happy to have received the opportunity… and then self- doubt arrived. Self-doubt reigned, joined by fear; the gamut of emotions was intense, almost paralyzing me. But now that the dream was out in the open; I kept coming back to it. I would sit with my vision, thinking about writing and imagining how it would feel to hold a book in my hand. A book that contained my words, a small piece of my truth, and I knew that I had to write something or else that dream would disappear, and this time it might not come. That was my motivation – the fear of losing my dream again. As a child when we don't follow our dreams, they go to sleep, they will stick around and stay with us. As an adult, when the dream is staring at you, if you don't walk forward through your fears, it might just leave for good. That was my motivation. I couldn't risk losing my dream again. So I wrote, too many words, many many iterations, and my computer trash grew. When it happen, when I found the idea which resonated, I didn't have to chase it; it flowed. The day I picked up the Success Secrets was sunny and glorious, I cried tears of joy and of pride at what I had contributed. I also knew that I wanted to experience it again. My trajectory changed. I am living my dream - I am currently writing my first book.” Wasn’t that amazing to read?! I might have shed a tear and my heart was bursting with pride and joy. Now, it’s your turn. Questions to ask yourself I ask you:
I don't usually share a letter from someone else. I don't share someone else's words. At least not to that extent, maybe just a quote or two. But this woman, this author once and soon to be twice, she said “Yes”.
She didn't let that die. She didn't ignore it. She listened. And key thing, she took action.  I ask you to look at your life and think, “Am I saying YES to the deep things that I want or am I settling? Am I too afraid to go for what I want? Or are there people around me that could help me?” All you need to do today is to say “Yes.”
Just say yes and claim it. You're going to hear more of this woman. I know it. I'm seeing the growth that she's having. Paula Kent will have her book published in a few weeks. If you want to say “Yes” If you…also have a profound story of how you've said “Yes” to someone giving you an opportunity or said “Yes” to a seed that was planted. If you…want to be able to say “Yes”. If you…want to have clarity about what is it that you have to do. If you…want the confidence to know that you can take that next step. If you…want to be able to get into action, real action, and be accountable and be able to move forward in an easy and efficient way… Reach out to me at [email protected]. You may also check out author opportunities at my website if you want to learn more about how to easily be an author with my team’s help. Just say yes and you never know where it may take you!
Have you ever thought, “Maybe I should be taking on more… maybe I should be doing more things that scare me?” American Journalist, Chicago Tribune Columnist, and Pulitzer Prize winner, Mary Schmich, has a quote that I actually live by. She says, “Do one thing every day that scares you." I absolutely love this quote. It means you're growing since we're often fearful of things that we haven't done or things that stretch us. Be open to new things and change by welcoming one thing every day that scares you. You’ll grow your ability to adapt. You’ll grow or increase your risk tolerance and grow yourself. Is that always the case? I want to let you know that I believe that now might not be the time to be doing this. It might be better to pull back on implementing this way of life, at least for me, and maybe it's also true for you.  The world is in a bit of chaos. I’m sure you know what I mean:
We’re changing just generally how we go through life. So much of our way of life is being dictated by the pandemic and by the government. Psychologists say we're in a mild fight or flight response to life right now, which is causing our adrenal glands to go into overdrive. Our cortisol shoots up. Our bodies feel the stress ALL. THE. TIME. Unlike other stressors in life that come and go, we get this mild stress through life every day.  This whole idea of doing something each day that scares you can also have the same effect, though it would be a lower dose of stress, depending on the activity, because obviously, skydiving probably doesn't count. But if you're already feeling off right now, finding that you can't focus, struggling to get things done, and you're overwhelmed easily, listen up. Now is not the time to challenge yourself with what scares you. It's not even the time to push yourself beyond your limits. It's just not worth the damage it can do to your emotional health, physical body, and even your confidence. You see a stressed body gets sicker easier because your immune system is down. But you know that. When you're stressed, you have a harder time being creative, visionary, and dealing with obstacles which are three qualities that are helpful when doing something that scares you or even just having a successful life. Now, how do I know? Well, I tend to push myself beyond the limits in many situations. This time I figured it out. Back in July of 2020, I went to Ontario for a scheduled visit. I was already feeling off with the whole COVID-19 situation, and I had to make changes in my business. I was dealing with the kids being home since March and any parent or caregiver knows how hard that is to have them be off AND still run your business. Then my father went into palliative care. So then added on to everything else, I'm dealing with my father's death approaching. I was unsure of a lot of things:
I basically canceled everything that brought me mental stress. But I went into overdrive with things that stressed my body physically:
It felt good to get my mind off of what was happening. It felt good to still achieve. And then nine days later, my father passed away. With pushing myself physically, I got a weird rash on my arms and legs. I thought it was poison ivy or poison oak because mom had poison ivy earlier in the spring. But was it stress? You see, the places where I was scratched from the berry bushes started up first. But once I was days away from the garden and had cream even for the rash, it continued to spread. Then I picked up a cold and I had to get tested for coronavirus. Even though it was negative, I wasn’t able to kick the cold symptoms. They just kept lingering. Now, as a past varsity rugby player and a competitive soccer player, I know the importance of resting a stressed muscle, a rolled ankle, and being kind to my body after a tough game. But why don't we do this with our emotional health? Because maybe we don't see it? Because it doesn't swell up and hurt the same way? But I know that I would never go and play a game with a broken leg, would you?  You make your own call If you have life fairly balanced and you want to stretch yourself, then take Mary's quote and do one thing every day that scares you. Or maybe you decide to do it just once a month or once a week. Again, it's your call. But if you're feeling overwhelmed, unfocused, and then you can't handle anymore, then don't. Because I won't be for now as I come up to the one year anniversary of my Father’s passing. I won't be living according to this quote. I won't be taking on things that scare me every day. But trust me, I'll keep assessing when I can because I have so many things that I want to do in this big, beautiful world. P.S. If you can relate to what I shared today and want to process your emotions more or come up with some really cool things to do that scare you, and have accountability for, reach out to me. You can email me at [email protected]. Read more of my related blogs here:
Do you feel tired? Do you not feel like yourself? Yes, I’ve experienced that too. I’ll talk about the ONE thing that I do every year that helps me to run on full cylinders. What happened to me I’m so passionate about this topic because like most women out there, I tend to push through being tired and not feeling myself. I’m thinking, “I’m a coach! I should be able to get through this, right?” I do motivation tactics, scheduling strategies, have cheerleaders, and use all the other approaches on myself! Nothing could help me! There was something I didn’t know. This happened after my first child and AGAIN after my second child. It also happened last year. People said to me:
 But it got to the point that I was sleeping eight hours a night, and I'm still friggin tired! I’m still not myself! They’d tell me, “That’s just how it is.” Well, no. It doesn’t have to be how it is. It’s not just about right after kids. Like last year, my children are already six and nine. It definitely wasn't just after kids that I was feeling off. People told me that maybe I was feeling off because I was dealing with a lot of responsibility at that time and it’s no wonder I was feeling stressed and lacked motivation. I call BS. Months later, I got on a virtual appointment with a doctor and I was told, “Well, you feel bad because of Coronavirus.” I'm NOT going to take that as the answer. More people are suffering from:
So what was it? and what did I do? Reflecting on how I was acting I realized I was trying to push myself and my body. I was feeling shame and frustration on how I wasn’t able to do what I wanted to do. I feel awkward in conversation, and I just didn't really want to go out and see people. It wasn’t until I saw a Naturopath and got my full blood work done that I got the answer. With that blood work, I learned that it’s because of low iron, low B, high cortisol, and hormones being off. Getting that answer was such a big relief to know that I wasn't sucking as a person!  I see this in my women clients all the time. They just don't have that spark in life, that mojo about them. There could be a number of reasons:
When we make those things better and get them in alignment, when that happens and we still don't feel awesome, that's when the focus turns back on ourselves! But we’re afraid to say, “I don't feel like myself. I don't feel amazing. There's something not right here.” They're suffering. Could it just be fixed with some iron? Could it just be fixed with B vitamins? I had postpartum depression with both my kids, but I didn't have the right symptoms. I wasn't ready to run out on my family. I wasn't crying all the time. But I felt awkward in conversations, and I didn't feel like myself! I went from organizing tons of stuff to not even caring to go out. It felt good when the answer came, “You feel like crap because you don't have enough iron, enough B, your cortisol is super high, and your hormones are off.” When I went and got that support after each of my kids, I was like, “Oh really? I’m so relieved!” I took what I had to take. It doesn’t mean I felt better within 15 minutes. It was a process. I needed to make adjustments with my doctor in order to feel good. I was back! But I had suffered for a year. Recently, I've been suffering for months. I’m not feeling right, but I was thinking, “Oh it’s because the kids are at home and are frustrating me.” Then I got my bloodwork done and HOLY MOLY my iron is even lower than last year. It’s crazy low! My doctor said that is why I was feeling off, feeling tired, didn’t have energy, it was hard to focus, I didn’t have my mojo, etc. I’m gaining weight, too! The fact is if I just take a pill in the morning, a couple of supplements, a couple of vitamins, I'm going to feel way better! And it's true because once I start taking these things, I do feel better. Why am I telling this to you? I feel sorry for the people who have other people diminish how they're feeling, and tell them:
They say all this crap. BUT instead, it could just be fixed by getting your blood taken, having some reports run, and then finding out where you're truly at. It's this place of diminishing how people feel, making them feel like they are wrong for it, and having them push through. If you are not running on full cylinders inside, how do you expect yourself to run on full cylinders on the outside? The original reason why I went to the Naturopath was I thought, “I need to eat better because I'm tired. I need to eat better because I'm not losing weight.” If you are feeling off, get your blood work checked. Do it. I know there are people also being diagnosed with depression and given meds for depression. I'm totally for that if that is for you. I'm totally for that if you need it, but I know that based on my journey, I was offered it and honestly didn’t need it. I just needed a doctor to check the right labs and the right supplements. Wouldn't you want to get your body rebalanced before introducing anything else? (Note: I’m not a doctor. I’m not giving you any medical advice. You need to talk to a registered doctor. My favorite is a Naturopath because they spend extra time with you and because they are able to do extra tests.) Your doctor will tell you what Vitamin B you’d take, and it’s like the happy pill that's gonna put you back on track potentially. You up your iron then your energy comes up. I’m just a few days into taking B and just started taking iron again, and I know it’s going to be a trajectory up for me.  I looked at my reports, and I understand now what happens and my numbers are lower than last year. If I've been going for a whole year, even lower than I was last year, man, no wonder things have just felt harder. No shame, right? I feel so much better when I'm balanced... so much better. Some of my clients are taking the Dynamic Balance Program with me. I tell them, we can balance your life, we can get you a plan, we can have your Dynamic Life Blueprint set. But if you are off inside, it's gonna be that much harder. If you are off, ideas might not stick. You might not be able to maintain it. What happens is, we then turn around and judge ourselves for not being good enough, focused enough, motivated enough, smart enough whatever it might be. Again, I’m not a doctor. I'm not telling you to go buy iron because it is not good to take iron if you don't need it. I'm not saying to go take B and D. I'm not saying that. I'm saying, go and talk to a specialist who will let you know how you're doing on the inside. This is what everyone needs to do every year. I just felt bad thinking about people out there suffering. The thing is, when you are off on the inside, you might not know. But you push through. It’s a slow drop. You could feel just .01% worse each day. So you don't really notice it, right? Then eventually you're like, “I'm not where I like not feeling awesome.” But again, you're like:
If any of those are true for you, go get your blood work done. Ask for a professional's support you to see what you need so that you can really take care of yourself. So you can go into the world, make a difference, live your passion, work your mission, whatever it may be. Before you take on the world or even a small task, make sure that you are where you need to be on the inside.
Read my other blogs here: 1. My Laptop Sent me a Message 2. This is my biggest problem... 3. Is Your Business Taking Over Your Life? What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? When you’re in situations like:
 There are immediate actions that you can take or do to prepare for this happening so that you can stay on top of things and not be overwhelmed. Last year, my father passed away. When that happened, I wasn’t able to do my other tasks such as podcasting because I needed to take care of myself and frankly, I didn’t care about any business tasks. Even answering an email felt like a big task. The only thing I could do well and feel like myself was coaching. In reflection, it's not just about taking care of yourself, it's knowing what to do when life gets overwhelming. How can you prepare for this? I want you to know what to do. How you could feel Life changes in many ways. Problems arise. Problems like:
After life changes in these ways, you can have many feelings. You feel overwhelmed, stressed, annoyed, frustrated, angry, or lost. For me, it was lower patience! I just didn’t have patience with my children. I had to do some mommy timeouts! What is this causing us? Imagine you're juggling all 10 areas of life. You're juggling the kids, your marriage, your house, your health, etc. When one of those balls becomes heavier or more demanding, you tend to drop the other balls!  The issue with dropping the balls is that some of them are made of glass. When you drop them, they will break! When you drop them, you are going to have trouble. You're going to have potentially long-lasting negative effects from it. For instance, when you end up dropping a ball, you’re breaking relationships, losing some clients in your business, not responding to emails, not being prepared for a presentation, not landing a client because you’re showing up in a different way, etc. You don't want that to happen. I know I didn’t. Why this could happen + the negativities So why do you struggle? You struggle because one area of life that's only supposed to be a certain size has now become bigger. When it's bigger, it takes more of your time. It takes more of your mental capacity. This can happen at work, whether you're in a nine to five or a business. When you're working harder in your business or in your job, you have less time for your health, you're not sleeping as well, you're eating poorly, you don't see your friends, you're not eating properly, etc. All these negative things come in! When you're not at your peak in your performance or in your health, it starts to affect confidence and it affects your ability to deal with challenges, it lowers your brain capacity, and how well you can complete your tasks.  You struggle because there's limited time and limited mental capacity that you have. Plus, the emotional strain. You may have encountered a problem and you’re not solid emotionally. You’re not where you need to be. That affects you in many other areas. What you can do to get going Ideally, you have this prepared in advance, so you know what to do when s$&t hits the fan. When life gets crazy and you feel like it’s too much, you just need to stop and think:
At that moment, you might think that you need to sleep, take care of your kids, or finish a project. For you, those are the three things that need to happen. There, you’ve just decided on the most important balls. Those are the glass balls that you can’t drop. The cool thing is, you can let all the other things sit on the back burner. You don't have to worry about them. You can take them off your plate. You don't even have to think about them. When my dad got sick, I set aside some tasks:
I focused on my family, my well-being, and my clients. I checked in with my husband and friends a little bit, but everything else I let go. This is called MAINTENANCE MODE! Go into maintenance mode. What do you need to just maintain your life? This is not meant to be long-term, but if you're experiencing this right now, what areas of life are super important at the moment that you need to prioritize? What I see in my 1:1 clients is they get into chaos. They are trying to juggle every single ball as if they're all glass balls, but they're not. YOU CAN DROP SOME! Your house can be dirty. You don't have to make every meal from scratch. Your landscaping can slide. Maybe you do prioritize your marriage, your health, your kids, or whatever it may be for you. You need to figure out what maintenance mode is for you. Usually, that's three or four areas of life. (Note: different maintenance mode times will need different areas of life.) Here are the different areas of life to help you choose:
Decide which three or four areas that you need your focus. I encourage you to devise a plan for when things get crazy and when you can't juggle everything anymore.  If you already know what you're going to do when s$&t hits the fan, it's so much easier. You can just go on autopilot. You have a plan you can rely on. Remember: You can say “no” to say “yes.” It means you:
Let me know what was most important for you in what I shared today. If you'd like to make your maintenance mode plan and go through your Wheel of Life, or if you need to process a challenge on your life, then reach out to me. Email me at [email protected]. Read my other blogs here:
1. Overwhelm with Overwhelmed 2. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions 3. The Power of Baby Steps |
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