How The Belief “It’s Never Enough” Sabotages Your Happiness

In my previous blog, I shared about one of the core beliefs that sabotages your happiness - “I am not enough”. In this blog, I’ll walk through the second core belief, which is “It’s never enough.”

You might say:

• “It’s not enough.”
• “It’s never enough.” 
• “I don’t have enough.” 
• “There’s not enough here.”

Scarcity Mindset

You get into this place of achievement addiction. You might not even be aware that you are addicted to more: 

• More money
• More accolades
• More status
• More awards
• More success

It creates this never-ending chase. The goalposts keep moving, and every milestone, every goal that you achieve, you’re not going to celebrate it properly, and it’s going to feel hollow.

You’re addicted to the achievement. You’re chasing that high. This, maybe, is moving you into the "It’s never enough" zone. It brings you into that scarcity mindset of hoarding your resources, holding on to them, holding on to opportunities, not fully going for them because you’re afraid that they’re going to run out. 

When you’re in scarcity, you’re not sharing, you’re not collaborating, you’re not connecting with others in the same way because you’re holding on.

You have a lot of reluctance, not only to celebrate but to enjoy these successes. The sad thing is, the success feeling is fleeting. It’s not a long-term satisfaction or happiness. 

These two beliefs--I am not enough and It’s never enough—they will sabotage your happiness if you haven’t already sabotaged it.

Comparing yourself to others

The "It’s never enough" also brings in constant comparison: comparing yourself to others:

• “They have more.” 
• “They’ve done more.” 
• “She has more.” 
• “She has that.” 
• “They’re going here.” 
• “Look at how big.” 
• “Look at how much." 

and comparing yourself to your past achievements. 

• "I used to be this way.” 
• “I used to have this or that." 

It’s tiring comparing yourself to others. It’s so tiring.

Overworking

The belief of "it’s never enough" can also take you to a place of overworking, and overextending yourself.

You keep working tirelessly over and over and over to somehow earn some satisfaction. But it’s not enough—or it’s never enough—is this thief of joy. Because even though you’re trying to earn the satisfaction, it’s at the expense of something: health, relationships, your joy, your confidence, your relationships with family, your partner, kids, friends. It goes on and on and on.

When you’re overworking and overextending, you have such a difficulty delegating to others. That also comes in from before, when I spoke about perfectionism. It has you not being able to trust other people to help you. 

When you’re keeping everything close together, just like with a scarcity mindset, it brings you to a place of isolation or feeling like you’re alone, even though you’re in a group of other people.

What happens?

What happens to you in this case? Well, it takes you to one of two places.

1. You start feeling anxiety because you’re wanting more. That belief that other people have the edge, other people are doing better. If you are at a place where you’re doing well and you’re on top of your game, then you’re in that place of, "How do I stay here? Oh my goodness, how do I get this? And how does this happen?" ​

Rather than just, "How do I want to chill? How do I enjoy where I am? What really matters to me right now?"

"It’s never enough" is always pushing you to the external rather than bringing you into the internal. 

Because you’re there, you definitely have FOMO—a fear of missing out. You say yes because you don’t want to miss the next big thing. You say yes to things, and then you’re thinking about the future and all the things to do. But then you’re sacrificing on current moments, the present-day moment, and the future, because we know the goalpost keeps moving. It keeps going further and further away, and you’re living in the future rather than today.

You don’t want to miss out on anything, but you’re constantly striving, and eventually, the never-enough people, they get burnt out. 

2. Not only do they have anxiety, but they full-on will burn out. Because if it’s never enough is a thief of your joy, if it’s keeping you from your satisfaction, sabotaging your happiness, then it’s going to be draining your energy, leading to more stress and eventually burnout.

We only have so much emotional, physical, and mental capacity and bandwidth. When I heard the expression, "I don’t have the emotional capacity right now," or "I don’t have the emotional bandwidth," boy, is this ever true for the boss, the high achiever, that woman who is driven to do more, always more.

It’s so true. We get to that point where we’re like, "I just don’t have enough left right now to deal with this," or "I’m just so tired. I can’t even be there," or "Emotionally, I don’t even want to talk to anybody right now. It’s just... it’s been too much."

But even when “It’s never enough”, we still push on. Because let’s be real here: some of the things that we’ve been praised for are our resilience, our flexibility, our commitment, our ability to manage it all and multitask and do it all.

Let me tell you, it’s going to take you to a bad place. Take some time now to look at "It’s never enough" or "It’s not enough" and ask yourself where these negative influences and effects are true about your life.

Again, be honest about it.

Wrapping Up

If I can be of any support, please reach out to me at [email protected]. Share this with a friend who you think either needs to be looking at these things because they’re on their way to burnout or a lessening of their confidence, lack of joy, or whatever it may be.

Or if you just have a friend who you think, "Wow, she’s doing so well, but I want to keep her safe. I want to keep her happy. I want her to be in the good zone here with her achievement level," then share it with her.

Until next time, stay dynamic and focus on not just being successful, but take a stand for the AND-Be satisfied as well. 

Read my other blogs:

1. “What Tasks Can a Virtual Assistant Handle for Me?”
2. Craving the Best of it All
3. 7 Practical Steps to Break Free from the Chains of Your Old Self