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Hey, high achieving successful woman… you’ve done a lot, so why do you sometimes feel like you're stuck in a rut? Maybe you're feeling a little bit like you're doing the same thing like it's Groundhog Day, BUT you've had a lot of professional successes - so you shouldn’t feel a lack of satisfaction - should you? Even if you've become an expert and comfortable in where you are today, you could still feel like you are missing something. It's time to have a little bit of success in a new way. So, in this blog, I’ll share the number one thing that will create more satisfaction for you as a business owner.  My personal experience Back in 2008, I tore my ACL playing rugby. If you didn't know, I was a varsity rugby player. I’ve played soccer competitively my whole life as well. I've also played lots of sports—basketball, volleyball, track and field, and I’ve done quite well at them. I've always seen myself as a competitive athlete. No matter what I went into, I won awards, and won MVPs. I don't say this to be like, “Oh, look at me. I'm so amazing.” It's more so because that's the level I was at, and there was a lot of competition, a lot of pushing myself, and striving in a way that felt so good as an athlete. Maybe you can relate in another area of your life where you were full-on in doing it. Usually, when we're in that great energy, that resonance, that’s what I talked about in the previous blog called "Hell Ya Energy." We're in that energy, that resonance, that flow, and it's really good for us. There might come a time when you're like, “Why am I not feeling that anymore?” This is where I'm talking about if you feel like you're stuck in a rut. You may be feeling a lack of the same things that you were having in the past. For me, what happened was I tore my ACL, which meant I could no longer play rugby, as I was needing ACL reconstruction and surgery, then rehab. At that time, it made me feel super depressed. I was looking at all the things in my life. I had all these successes professionally, but then I was like, “Why am I feeling off? Why am I feeling not happy, not satisfied in my life and about things?” I thought, “Wow, I don't even really have permission to complain because my life is amazing on paper.” I was trying to figure out what it was. I'm very achievement-oriented, goal-oriented, and I was doing all these things. Eventually, I hired a life coach, and I found that, in working with her, one of the key pieces that I found was that I wasn't honoring all of my values. Challenge One of my values—and I don't mean morals and ethics, I mean a value, the things that we ourselves, that we would stand on a soapbox about, that if somebody dishonored them, we'd be pissed off—one of my values was challenge. I honoured challenge in competitive sports, but in this new place, I was in this new season of being injured and not being able to play at a competitive level, not even being able to play at all. At that point in my life, I had played for 25 years and I only ever had 10 days off at Christmastime. I had always played sports and always played at a high level. It was really hard for me. I'm not saying that you've given up something big like that, or that you've been injured, but there's potentially a part of you that is missing the value that I adore, which is challenge. You may feel bored, but you're not bored—you just need a good challenge. What I realized for myself is that I needed to create challenge in my life. Because I wasn't depressed, I just needed a new challenge. The same thing could be true for you. When we are high achievers and have so much success, we are also in this place of striving and driving and wanting everything. While I now see that satisfaction is more important—we should measure life according to our satisfaction and not measure life according to our success—honoring our values is such a huge piece.  Creating challenge for yourself is so important. Now, why challenge? Well, it gets you out of your comfort zone because a lot of times, you are good at all the things you do, and you know so much about everything that you do that there’s not enough spark there for you. When you have challenge, you're pushed out of your comfort zone. It has you grow and stretch, and you get to be in that growth mindset. You get to improve and find out, “Can I really do this?” because you're not an expert at it yet. I did African drumming, and I'll tell you, I sucked at African drumming. It actually looks super cool and super easy—it’s not. I was terrible, but I stuck with it, and it humbled me. I was able to sit as the student, not as the teacher. This is important because I'm sure you are so good at so many things that these are true:
But you don't always get to sit in the student seat and feel stretched and feel poured into. Taking on a challenge where you get to learn something new and put yourself out there into the world, depending on what it is. My next thing is going to be glassblowing, probably. Again, something I’m not going to be good at, and it’s going to challenge me. If you feel stuck or bored, you're neither. You just need a new challenge. You need a bold challenge, or you need a personal challenge. You've been checking off the boxes in your career or in your business, and it might be time to branch out. I gave you a few ideas. But what I encourage you to do is take a challenge that will help you professionally and also help you personally. The challenge of writing a book Here's one that I had back in 2016. I had the challenge of writing a book. I'll tell you, I sat on it for a year and did nothing with it until I agreed to provide 350 copies of my book for all the attendees at a convention. The problem is, I hadn't written the book yet! At that very moment, I took on the challenge to get it done in such a short timeframe. Now, I don't recommend doing this, but it's the thing that got me off my butt. It wasn't just the challenge piece; it was the commitment—another great C word. I took on the challenge, and then I committed to it. When I speak of challenge, you probably know challenges like a challenge when there's a service or a product that doesn't go to a customer properly, or a challenge where your CRM is down, or a challenge when your kid won’t put their shoes on. You've seen these challenges, and you face many different challenges. There are fires that you have to put out and problems that you have to solve. But what about a challenge that just helps you to grow, a challenge that helps you to feel alive and puts you in resonance? That moment, I held that book. I was on video, doing the unboxing, which was incredible. I think I might have teared up, or I was trying to be strong and not show my vulnerability, but it was such an incredible moment, a very different challenge that I was able to conquer. A challenge for you Have you thought of doing a book? Have you thought of being in a book? You have the opportunity to do it. You have the opportunity to do it with not only me, but with a bunch of other amazing women, other high achievers, other women who are having great success in their life, and they're taking on this opportunity like a fresh, exciting challenge to be able to do it. The only thing is, it's not actually going to be a challenge because everything is going to be done for you. Sounds good? Leadership Secrets Invitation Let me give you a little idea about what this is about. We've done Success Secrets. We also have Confidence Secrets, Trailblazer Secrets, and the next collaborative book is going to be Leadership Secrets.  You're going to do a spread in the book. You can imagine, two pages—one side and then the other side—with a 400-word story, secrets on leadership, your bio, and some social links or connection links, so people can get a hold of you afterward. There's so much more I want to say about this, but I'll kind of pause it there because the purpose of this blog was to remind you that bringing in something fresh is going to stretch you a little bit, but it's also going to feel really exciting and new. When you've been doing what you've been doing for a while, you can get stuck in a rut and can have achieved all the things on the success side, but this can be something new. The joy of this is you will succeed. You will be published in February because you've got me as your mentor to take you through the process and make it super simple by having a book-writing strategy session, so you know exactly what to write about, how to boomerang business back to you with this piece, how to title it, how to do the whole thing. Also, another bonus that we give is a Mastermind Day, where you can ask me questions, get support from the other authors, and read your piece to others so they can give you feedback. This way, you’ll feel solid about what you're submitting. We also have editors that will edit your piece, so you don't have to worry about it looking good or sounding good—it will. After that, it's like, well, now you have a book, and because we're going to do the whole publishing process for you, at that point, it's like, "Now I have a book. What do I do?" We give you "Author in a Box"—all the press releases, all the email copy, we do a launch party for you, and we give you all the personalized, branded social media posts and videos and everything so you can promote not only the book but also you in the book. You get to celebrate! Because I'll tell you, some parts of being stuck in a rut come from not celebrating your successes, and that's so key for having the motivation to keep going. Being successful can be tiring, right? Go to this link. You’ll see all the options there. There are two options— Silver and Gold. It's going to lay out very clearly all the things you get, and I would love to call you a co-author and have you be published in February of 2025. That’d be pretty amazing. Bonus Ending September 27th at 11:59 pm PDT Doors are closing on the bonus I’m offering of a ROI strategy session with me. It's a Return on Investment Strategy Session. You want that because in it, we are going to use to strategize how you're not only going to be in this book but how you're going to get a high return on the investment that you're going to make, so you can reach your personal and professional goals. I'll tell you, that's when you're in this process you’re not going to be bored, you’ll be excited, and you're not going to feel like you're stuck in a rut because you're going to take on a safe challenge. Let me know—do you love a challenge? Do you love that vibe of bringing something new into your life? You can reach out to me at [email protected] or connect with me on one of the major platforms. Read my other blogs:
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Do you know the power of “Hell Ya” energy?  Too much of the world is living in “Meh” energy. I don’t really have to explain that too much because you probably get it. For example, if someone offered you a dry roast beef sandwich, you'd likely think, 'Meh.' Not really excited about it, right? I wanted to talk about this because I feel like too many people are settling for 'meh,' for that feeling of …
…without actually going for that, full-blown amazing energy. If you start asking yourself, “Is this a Hell Ya?” it becomes an excellent compass for whether you should go for something or not. The reasons why people struggle to live in Hell Ya energy Too many people are also stuck in the 'Groundhog Day' loop—doing the same things every single day. We get to a point where we don’t know what we like anymore, what we want, or what we desire. This happens for a few reasons. Reason 1: Hustle Culture Everything is thrown at us—social media, advertising, everywhere you look: TV, phone, billboards, radio etc. Everyone’s telling you what you should like and what you should want. It’s totally dependent on the country you live in. Being in North America, I feel we’re bombarded with hustle culture and things that really aren’t in our best interest. What they’re doing is pushing things that fuel their bank accounts. Reason 2: Lack Intention Another reason we struggle to live in Hell Ya energy is that we lack intention with our activities. We finish our workday, and then maybe we sit and scroll on our phones, or after dinner, we put on the TV.  I don’t think there’s anyone who would say, “My plan for tonight is to scroll for an hour on my phone with mindless social media and then watch three hours of TV.” Maybe you think, “Well, I’m going to watch that movie I’m so excited about,” or “I’m going to watch my show, and I’m really excited about it.” That can be the Hell Ya energy, but we spend too much time without intention, and then we wonder, “Where did the day go? Where did the night go?” Even those moments of between, we've lost the moments of between and deciding what we're going to do because our default is social media. Our default is media in general. Our default is things we wouldn’t intentionally choose. Not only are we bombarded with messages telling us what to buy and eat, but the things put in front of us are often of poor quality. We’re given poor-quality foods. If you've ever travelled to another country that values local, pure, and organic ingredients rather than all this processed crap we get, you know the difference. The other day, there was a video of a woman on an airplane returning from her trip to Europe. She picks up a piece of what looks like bread or cake and takes a bite. The caption said, “Your first bite of processed food after eating real food in Europe.” Later, she had to defend herself because people were upset with her opinion, but it was the truth. We don’t have the best quality food here, and that’s why we overeat—our bodies are searching for nutrients. I spoke a little bit about this in the last blog. We also have poor-quality clothes. Yes, there are amazing clothes out there—organic, locally made, and handmade—but there’s also a lot of fast fashion. Of course, you end up with that “dime a dozen” item of clothing. I’ve mentioned it before, but we spend our time in many ways that feel like 'meh.' I say “spend” because we’re not investing our time. The other day, I realized I’m not reading nearly as much as I want to. I’m not investing time in my Bible, doing devotions, or praying as much as I want to. I’m not going to the gym as much as I want to. It's not a “should”—it’s a desire. Yes, a bunch of the things I’m filling my time with are great, but there’s still a lot of 'meh' stuff in there. What Hell Ya energy is Hell Ya energy is when you get an email invitation to an event, and as you read it, you think, “Well, maybe I’ll go if I’m available. I’ll see if it fits in. I’ll see if I have the time or energy to go.” That’s 'meh.' You don’t really care. Have you ever opened up an email invitation and thought, “Hell ya, I want to go to this!”? Right away, you're like, “Yep, count me in! I’m there!” That’s what we’re looking for in life—more of that Hell Ya energy. Now, I get that there are things in life, like doing taxes or cleaning your house, where you think, “I don’t really want to do this, but I know I have to.” You have the desire to be in alignment with the government and to live in a clean, uncluttered place. Ideally, we want about 80% of our lives to be filled with Hell Ya energy. I feel bad for people in jobs or businesses they hate because Hell Ya energy puts you in resonance. In coaching, we talk about how it’s energy and gives you power. It’s like you could do it all day. Think of an activity you could do all day. For me, it’s being creative, coaching, training, or speaking on stage. I might get tired, but I don't feel the need to stop. I can just go, go, go because I’m in resonance—I’m in flow. I’m in energy. It’s easy. There’s flow. What’s the opposite? What “Meh” energy is Meh is dissonance. It could be worse than neutral—it’s settling, or even worse than that. It’s actually a negative. Dissonance is friction. It’s hard. It takes a ton of energy, and you might have to motivate yourself. What you can do I encourage you to start looking for Hell Ya energy with your decisions. Look for activities, people, events, food, clothes, travel—everything in your life that gives you that Hell Ya feeling. Look for what excites you. That’s why I took a stand-up comedy class. That’s how I ended up taking Japanese in university. I thought, “Whoa, that’s cool. I want to do that.” We’re looking for that energy in our lives because it makes our lives richer. It helps us make decisions more easily by following our gut, our intuition, our internal energy meter that tells us where to go. I saw a post the other day that said you could spend an hour a day connecting with your spouse, your partner, or even your kids or best friend. The idea is that you have time to do this if you have time to watch TV. That kind of hit me because I thought, “Whoa, an hour to do that? I don’t have that time!” But I have spent an hour watching TV. I’ve been guilty of scrolling on my phone throughout the day. A simple exercise for you I encourage you to take out a piece of paper, set a timer for five minutes, and go through your life. Write down all the things you’re currently doing—activities, clients, foods, places, and people—that have Hell Ya energy for you.  Then make another list of things that have 'meh' energy. You might have to look back at your calendar and remember all the things you did or the things coming up next week. Write down those things that make you think, 'Meh.' Finally, create a new list of new Hell Ya energy—things that excite you. One thing that excites me moving forward is taking a glassblowing class. My husband and I are also going to start ballroom dancing. These activities have energy and excitement for me. Thankfully, because I’ve been sharing about this Hell Ya energy, others have been pointing things out to me and sharing opportunities. I even had a connection through CAPS (Canadian Association of Professional Speakers) who sent me a course on writing my one-woman show. Hell ya, count me in! That’s something I already want to do. Over the next few weeks, practice this. When someone asks if you want to hang out, do something, or go somewhere, or if you're deciding what to eat or wear, ask yourself, “Is this Hell Ya energy, or is this Meh energy?” Is it resonance—exciting, energetic flow—or dissonance—friction, lack of desire, and difficulty? Use this as your compass to guide you in the right direction. The more you live in Hell Ya energy, the more resonance you'll experience, and I promise you'll be happier and more fulfilled in life. So, who of your friends needs to read this blog? Please share it with them! Until next time, everyone—stay dynamic. Read my other blogs:
Do you believe in quality over quantity? Are you craving more in life right now?  I'm going to talk about how you're potentially craving the best of it all. I found myself recently craving better things—not more things, but better things. My personal experiences I'm just about to head out to Tokyo and then the Philippines and Bali. As I talk with my travel friend, she says, "You know, Diane, I've gone backpacking, I've stayed in hostels. I've done the whole cheap and cheerful thing, and I'm just beyond that now. I want a nice place. I want to stay in quality." Maybe you're feeling this way too. I realized as I get older—there are certain things I will not do anymore.
It's not even just for travel and food. It's spilling out into my relationships, my home, the projects I say yes to and no to, and the clients I work with. In every single area of my life, I want the best. It's not that I didn't want the best before. I valued other things over having the best or more things, rather than fewer things. When I think about North America, we have this way of needing to have more. You need to have 20 pairs of sunglasses and multiple pairs of shoes, and a bigger, better car, and it continues and continues. But there's also a factor around the fact that we're getting less. If you travel to other countries, you may see that portion sizes are smaller because they contain more nutrition. When you aren't getting the quality you're looking for in one area of your life, you will seek excess in that area and others. You're going to be wanting more. Our bodies want more food because we're getting less nutrition. We're getting more clothing and items from cheap places like Shein and Temu because we’re craving something else. More doesn’t fill the void.  But the fact that we're not satisfied with what it is, we are drawn to do more, get more, buy more, and have more. But it's providing us with less happiness, less connection, less nutrition, and more yearning for other things. That's why we often feel overwhelmed by the amount of stuff, feel overworked because our schedules are completely chock-full of things because they're not the right things. We're eating too much, or we're getting overweight because we're never satisfied. We have all these connections on Facebook and LinkedIn and Instagram and stuff, but how many of them are actually quality connections? I'm at this place in my life—and maybe you are too—where, frankly, less is more. I'm just sick of how much stuff, how much has been in my schedule, and I really want quality over quantity in all areas of life. That's why I love watching Tiny House Nation. I'm a little obsessed with watching people downsize and enter these tiny homes. I don't need an 8,000-square-foot home. But, I also don't want to live in just 350 square feet because I have a family and I value my space, so I can recharge, especially with the work I do. It's very external and very client-focused and I’m often in presentation mode. This peaked for me too when I met some friends who lived on a boat—an actual boat with a house in the bottom of it. I was really intrigued because the kids only had a very small floor cupboard where they could put their toys, and they only had a few toys. But the thing is, they actually played with them. Where I look at what my kids have, and they have lots of toys, and they barely play with them. These kids on this boat, they were so happy, and they were imaginative, and they were helpful around the house, and they had rich friendships. I thought, “Wow, this comes from choosing less, but the best.” This is the joy of focusing on the quality. But we're not as intentional about our lives sometimes because society dictates how we should be, and it's that more being shoved down our throats all the time. Over the past few years, I've been streamlining my business and only choosing the best. I've been focusing on having the best in my home, the best in my life, and the best connections. Are you wanting that too? I'm sure you're at this point in your life that you go, “Wow, I'm not 20 anymore.” You've grown in wisdom, you've grown in experience, and you've grown in taste in what you want, and you're not going to settle for garbage or mediocre anymore. The benefits of focusing on a quality-over-quantity lifestyle I will talk through some of the benefits of focusing on a quality-over-quantity lifestyle, where you are going for the best in whatever that term is for you. It doesn't need to be the most expensive; it's not necessarily the biggest, but it's what you are craving as the best for you. In the wheel of life, for myself and my clients I'm always looking for what is the best in every single area, meaning what is ideal for you at this stage of life, with what you're desiring, what is best for you. #1: Long-term satisfaction and savouring the flavor of life You're at a point now where you believe that you're going to look for long-term satisfaction over a short-term gain. You want to savour it—savour the flavor, per se.  Think of a gourmet meal where every single bite is rich in flavour and fresh ingredients. It's satisfying. It's memorable. Instead of stuffing your face with fast food, you don't want that anymore. You want to indulge in something that's truly delicious. You see how you can have experiences that maybe give you less quantity, but make up for it in quality so you are satisfied. You're eating less food, and having experiences that maybe cost a little bit more. But you know that you're going to have a better memory of it. No one really remembers the street meat they had in college after the bar. You're not going to remember how good it was. You're not going to remember the burger from that fast food joint. It just served a purpose to fill your belly. But what you are going to remember are those special meals that you've gone to where you had the chef’s table or the food told a story. I lived in Japan for 3 years back in my early 20’s. I remember my first breakfast in Japan at a ryokan, which is like a Japanese-style bed and breakfast, it’s very traditional, and they gave me this tray of foods, with little amounts of foods in each of the bowls: egg, rice, soup, pickled veg and fish. I spent time with the food, I enjoyed the food, and the food was all natural, fresh ingredients, real foods, no fillers, and I will always look back and remember that meal. Now I'm thinking about my trip soon when I’ll have just three days in Tokyo. This time it’s just a stopover before going to the Philippines to meet my virtual assistant team. It’s not about just savouring the flavour of the best restaurants, but also the places, the people and the accommodation. I want to see the best attractions, temples and natural wonders. I want to stay at a great hotel. I'm staying right in the heart of Tokyo so that I am close to everything because my time is so valuable. You probably believe time is valuable too. Are your actions backing that up? Maybe you have aging parents, or they've passed. Maybe you have other people around you who are becoming widows, which is crazy to think. I'm going to be 45 in September, and it’s crazy to think I know many widows and I see how life is short. My dad passed at almost 80. So I'm more than the middle of his age. Craving the best is all about making smart choices that will pan out for you in the long-term big time because it will help in other areas. Think right now about where can you savour the flavor? Where can you slow down a little bit, have a little bit less, and know that's going to give you long-term satisfaction? #2: Value You appreciate value. Yes, you want more bang for your buck and all that. But you're at this point where you think, “Oh, I'd rather have one classic piece of clothing, one amazing outfit that I'm going to feel like a superstar in, rather than 10 outfits that fall apart after a few washes or look terrible.” You know that it's about the quality, the value you're going to get out of it. My rule used to be that I don't buy linen because it's terrible to take care of. But I've heard such good things about wearing natural fabrics. Maybe you have jumped on this bandwagon, but I hadn't, because earlier, I was more focused on wanting life to be easy and efficient. Buying linen that crinkles and wrinkles, and then having to iron it every time I wear it wasn’t efficient for me. But the thing is, now I'm going to give it a try. And if it's a high-quality piece I'm willing to invest a little bit more in something that will last longer and I will take better care of it. I want to buy really amazing pieces, not fast fashion—amazing pieces that I cherish and get excited to wear, like seeing a really great friend. Value is the second piece of why moving to craving the best and is going to be better for you. #3: Personal fulfillment I really want you to have that feel-good factor most of the time, and that comes from having high-quality experiences, high-quality items and people in your life. There's a difference between having a beautiful shirt or a cheap shirt. Again, you could be spending the same amount of money. You could buy one shirt for $100 or ten shirts at $10 each—either way, you've spent the same amount of money. This isn't about money; it's about how you feel when you're wearing these pieces and when you're having these experiences. If I have one amazing superstar outfit, I’ll show up better in my business and life. Choose the things that really bring you joy and get you fired up. For example, if you're the type of person who loves thrilling roller coasters at amusement parks, great, go for it! That brings you joy, so that's what you should go for instead of a dull merry-go-round, because you're going to talk about that amazing roller coaster forever. But if you love the swings that go up in the air and it brings you joy, then wait in line for that and skip the roller coaster if you don’t like it. It’s about choosing what's right for you and craving the best in every area of life. Often when we settle with good enough, we will feel an emptiness, a yearning for more and itch we can’t scratch. Sometimes a lack of fulfillment personally can have us blaming people like our spouse or leaving a job because we feel that is the cause. It can lead to bad habits, addiction and drastic moves. #4: Sustainability Quality over quantity. It isn’t just great for you—having quality items that last a long time is so good for the planet. For example, the other day, we had to move some things into our carry-on luggage from our suitcase, and I didn’t realize my daughter had a full-size toothpaste in there. I felt bad for the toothpaste and for the environment because that toothpaste went straight into the garbage rather than being used, even though it was just a $2 or $3 toothpaste. It wasn’t about the money; it was about the planet and how it was such a waste. Excess and not having the best causes us to over buy and toss things away. It kills me to see the amount of waste in the world. I grew up in a very eco-conscious family where everything had a new purpose. Everything could be reused. For example, empty toilet paper rolls were cut in half, and my dad used them as starter holders for his plants in the garden. The great thing is, you put them in the garden, and they naturally compost. Actually, quality over quantity will make you super eco-chic. It’s not beneath me to buy second-hand or take hand-me-downs for my kids. It’s not beneath me to eat leftovers from the day before. I have a strong value for caring for the environment, and craving the best means you’re not just chucking things and getting rid of them. You’re going to value and care for the things you have because you love them. #5: Avoiding overwhelm You get to avoid overwhelm. I mentioned decluttering and having less, but it's more about choosing to keep things really simple and streamlined. This applies to your business, career, and the things you do. It’s so satisfying to have less in your calendar, less in your home, and fewer things in your closet to care for. Having that clutter-free zen in all areas of life means you can truly love and be present for the things that matter most. #6: Depth of experience and connection I’ve realized with the Dynamic Women Community I knew everyone by name, which chapter they had joined, and their professions. But after growing to eight locations, running events in each location every single month, it got to the point where I didn’t know everyone anymore. I’d think I was meeting someone for the first time, only to realize it was actually the second time. I didn’t like that for myself. I desired closer connections and that would mean less.  I see how the quality and depth of connections grow when you focus on the best relationships for you. Over the years, I’ve let some relationships go. During COVID, my Facebook account was deactivated, and I went from almost 4,000 connections (or more, maybe closer to 5,000—I don’t remember) to just 1,500 connections now. Now, I’m more thoughtful about who I allow into my life and who gets to be in my circle. It’s not that I think I’m the best and not everyone gets to be my friend. It’s more about who I’m most connected to and with whom I can deepen a relationship. Maybe you’re thinking about that too—maybe it’s time to cull your contact list or reconsider who you’re connected with on social media and who you gift your time to. Wrapping Up These are just a few reasons why you might also be craving the best in every area of your life. This realization hit me during a recent coaching session. I have a few coaches, and I realized that I really want to curate an amazing group of women who come together to break bread, share a meal, who are also craving the best. It got me thinking about how much I loved Dynamic Women events years back, where you got to connect with a lot of people and get a taste of what they were like. But even though it was still a big room of 30 people, maybe at our bigger events, 100 or more people, maybe you’ve been to conferences or conventions with 1,500 or 5,000 people, and it was overwhelming. You don’t get to have that moment of really connecting with people. But when you have that real connection, you don’t have to do a ton of follow-up calls or collect business cards, because you’ll go straight into their contact list on their phone. That’s the difference—the difference between, “Can I have your card? Let’s connect on LinkedIn,” and “What’s your number? Let’s meet up next week for coffee.” So I created this event. I’m going to do one and we’ll see where it goes. I feel this is going to be so good, so rich, and so juicy. You’re invited! Women in North Vancouver, BC, and the surrounding area, or if you want to fly in, you’re invited to this amazing event called Taste. Our first one is on September 11th, from 6:30 to 9:30 PM. It’s an exclusive dinner party experience for successful female business owners in North Vancouver, BC, or the surrounding area. You can drive in, or you can travel in, but I’m warning you, this is not your typical transactional networking event. Where I’m at in my business, I don’t need to meet hundreds or thousands of people anymore. I just want strategic and enriching friendships, strategic business relationships, and deep friendships in my life. I have a bunch of those, but I’m always open for more because, again, I’m craving the best. With Taste, the intention is to satisfy your cravings for energizing conversations—not the small-talk garbage you get at other events—and deeper connections where you’re like, “Whoa, we’re on the same wavelength!” The major focus is on who you are, rather than what you do. You don’t have time for fluff. You don’t have time to show up at an event and get pitched to in the first 30 seconds. It’s time to show up in a place where you get to fully taste—taste the food, get a taste for what others are about and taste the experience. We’re doing a three-course meal: appetizer, entrée, and dessert. You’ll get a welcome signature cocktail, networking, and conversation with a curated group of women. So please check it out. If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you, and so would the other women who are coming. What can you expect? We’re going to kick off the evening with fun, warm introductions—not those boring elevator pitches. Then we’ll dive into our topic for the night: balancing being strong and feminine. We’re leaders, we’re powerful, we’re independent, but we also want to be the amazing, wonderful feminine women that we are. But how do we balance that when we’re often in our masculine at work? Why did I create Taste? Well, our time and energy are precious. At this level that we’re at,—and probably the level you’re at in your life, business, or career—it’s all about quality over quantity. Like in business, I’m super selective about who I work with. I’m very intentional about where I go, what I do, and who I spend my time with. But we don’t want to be lone wolves. We don’t want to be silos, doing all the work and being leaders all by ourselves. I created Taste to connect more intentionally and, frankly, to have some fun and eat some good food. If you’re interested in joining us, this is a curated event where I’m asking everyone who wants to attend to fill out an application so that we get the right people there. If you are someone that likes to card sling, you love small talk, and you love surface level networking, this is not the event for you. This is for those who want to meet others who are aligned with themselves, who can be intentional, high-level women who want quality over quantity. I invite you to check it out and to get your ticket. It’s a small group, because we are doing quality over quantity, because I'm craving the best, and I know you are too, and this is going to be an amazing experience. Read my other blogs:
I’m going to say something that might surprise you: maybe you're not stuck. It could be that your mission just got bigger.  Are you feeling tired because you're overthinking? Are you unsure if this is where you should be? Maybe you're feeling off, overwhelmed, or frustrated. You don’t know what to do or where to focus. Ah, I've been there. You may think, “But Diane, you’ve got all this stuff going on and so many great things happening. How can you feel stuck?” Well, I felt stuck and I’ve been seeing it in my clients too. If you haven’t been following along with the blogs, here are some of the topics I’ve covered because you might want to go back and read them:
And now, this blog is about how you're not stuck; your mission just got bigger. If you've been reading my blogs, you might think, “Yeah, it’s because there’s this old part of me, and I’m stuck.” Maybe you have, been relating, but even if you haven’t, no matter what, it could be that you feel stuck and that something's wrong. That’s how I was feeling. Why was I not motivated? Why was I not inspired? Well, one piece of it was that I needed to step into a bigger mission. I needed to let go of some older versions of myself. The same could be true for you - maybe your mission just got bigger. The old part of you was doing something that was part of a smaller plan—a less impactful plan, a less influential plan. But now, the plan is bigger, and you have more to do. Not more on your to-do list, necessarily, but more impact to make. How exciting is that? Because feeling stuck often signals to us that something's wrong, that we are wrong, and that we need to fix or change things. But actually, it’s an opportunity for growth. It’s an opportunity for a shift in not only who you are, but also your mission—your vision, and your values. Turn your perceived obstacle of feeling stuck into a catalyst for expanding your purpose, mission, and legacy—what you're here to do on earth. This could be professional or in your personal life. You can change from feeling stuck to a catalyst, and it all comes from that one perspective shift from "I'm stuck" to "My mission just got bigger." That gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. I will review a few things to help you think deeper, and we’ll see where we end up. Your emotions and thoughts When you're feeling a little stuck, what kind of emotions or thoughts do you have? Frustration, confusion, or a lack of direction? I was in all those feelings—no motivation, lack of inspiration, not wanting to do anything, no energy, void of energy. A lot of dissonance, and friction was happening. These feelings are often a natural part of the growth process.  Think about weight training. If you’re lifting some small weights, it will be pretty easy. Then, when you increase the weight, you’ll start getting frustrated. It will be hard, and you’ll think, “I can’t do it like I did before.” But the thing is, you’re growing and getting better, and eventually, you will be able to do it. These feelings are not a sign of failure. It's just a natural part of the growth process. If you're able to do things easily and you're always in a good place, it might mean you're not challenging yourself enough or not growing enough. Put on that growth mindset and know that this is just normal. How to recognize that bigger mission Let's reframe the situation. I encourage you to view the feeling of being stuck as just an indicator: “Ah, I’ve outgrown my current mission.” The original scope has now been broadened—maybe the impact or the reach has been expanded. Reframing this experience can help you identify new opportunities and new areas for that expansion. You could ask yourself, “Okay, what's changed? How is my mission bigger? How is the result going to be bigger? How is my reach going to be bigger?” You might wonder, “Is this really a bigger mission, or is this me hitting an obstacle, like a true obstacle that I need support with?” Here’s how you can recognize that bigger mission. If your bigger mission is evolving, you'll see that your current mission is not as fulfilling anymore. Maybe parts of it aren't fulfilling, or you’re facing new challenges that weigh you down. Instead, I encourage you to consider areas where you’ve developed new skills and passions that could reshape the mission. For example, I took a stand-up comedy class about two years ago. Now, I’m thinking about how to bring comedy, into my talks, workshops, and coaching. When I thought about incorporating these new skills, it led me to the idea of a one-woman show, which is really exciting. I see how that small shift in the mission will lead to greater impact and fulfillment for me because I can now bring in a bit of a performance aspect, not just facilitating, teaching, and coaching. It's going to be more experiential—me on stage, performing a little bit, but also making a greater impact on those in the audience through different emotional pulls, like bringing in humour but also delivering hard truths. Taking Action After you acknowledge that you have a bigger mission and reframe the situation, understanding that feeling stuck is normal, how do you take action? Well, simply outline the steps you need to take for your new mission. First, sit in self-reflection and ask yourself, “What really matters to me now?” Not “How am I going to do it?” but “What really matters to me now?” Does women's empowerment really matter to you? Does gender parity matter? Does diversity and inclusion matter? You know what really matters to you. Then, goal setting. Set new, ambitious goals. Once you pick a goal, ask, “What’s bigger than that?” and then, “What’s bigger than that?” Bigger in impact, joy, and your mission. It doesn’t have to mean more work, because you can bring on people to help.  Next, ask yourself about learning and growth. What new skills do you need to acquire? What new knowledge do you want to learn that will help in this new chapter? What do you need to know more about? I've been on this path of talking with actors who do one-woman shows. I’ve talked to other speakers who have booked out theaters and others who have done multi-date tours for their talks to see how I can apply that to my own journey. I’m grabbing their knowledge and continuing to build my comedy skills by working with a stand-up comedy coach who also does keynotes, trainings, and workshops, which will help me bring it into everything I do. The last piece around taking action is networking, mentorship, and coaching. Connect with others who can support you. I’ve already shared how I’ve been doing that, but you need people to guide you. I’ve hired a coach to help guide me through this new version of myself, this new mission because I can get stuck, frustrated, and unsure of the next steps. I need someone from the outside to help me figure out the hard truths, pull them out of me, ask tough questions, provoke me, and push me to get them done. If you want to dive deeper into this or have another coaching topic you wish to discuss, please contact me at [email protected], and let’s see about getting you where you need to be. Overcoming fear and resistance The benefit of having someone to support you is crucial as we move to the next piece: overcoming fear and resistance. Feeling fear and resistance when stepping into a bigger mission is natural because it’s easier to return to the old mission. One strategy to overcome these feelings is to focus on small, manageable steps rather than the entire journey. Right now, I’m not looking at how to do a multi-province cross-Canada tour, move it into the States, get it funded, sell tickets, and manage it with my family. All I’m doing now is talking to people who have done something similar or have helpful information. That’s it. I’m figuring out this new, bigger mission for me, so I know what I will speak about on that stage. I have some inklings, but I know it could be even bigger. Also, practice self-compassion and patience with yourself. Make sure that the coach you have will honour that but not let you wallow in it. You need a coach who will pull you forward and help you. Self-compassion and patience during this transition are crucial. Think of the butterfly: first, the caterpillar is in the cocoon, growing into a butterfly, and then emerging. It’s a vulnerable stage, and you’re not ready to take on the world right in that place. But with support and self-care, you can navigate this transition successfully. Wrapping Up I've shared some examples of how I've gone through this, and you can think about how others, perhaps famous people whose biographies or autobiographies you’ve read, have experienced similar transitions. Consider researching philanthropists and their missions, CEOs and their missions, or entrepreneurs and their missions to see how they evolved. Look into social enterprises or philanthropic companies where purchasing a product supports a cause, such as building schools or digging wells. Learn how they developed their bigger mission. You don't have to always do this kind of mission-style work, but your mission is the legacy you want in the world. Remember, feeling stuck is often just a signpost indicating that you're ready for a bigger, more meaningful mission. It doesn’t mean you’re failing or in a terrible place, but you may need support to ensure you’re on the right path. It could be a bigger mission or you may need a full change. Embrace the change and take proactive steps toward your expanded purpose. You can rise to meet this new mission presenting itself to you. After you finish reading this blog, listening to this as a podcast, or watching on the Diane Rolston YouTube channel, pause and reflect on how you will start taking action today. I’d love to hear about it. Email me at [email protected] and let me know how this has impacted you. Until next time, stay dynamic and jump on that bigger mission. Read my other blogs:
Today I'm going to talk about stepping into the woman you were meant to be. Maybe you already think you're there; maybe there's room for growing. If you've been following this series, I started off with how I've outgrown the old version of myself, then talked about killing off your alter ego like Eminem killed off Slim Shady. The last blog was about breaking free from the chains of your old self. We've left the old behind, and now how do we step fully into who we were meant to be.  Then to give you a heads-up on the next blog, I'll be covering how you're not stuck—your mission just got bigger. If the next one is not out yet, mark it in your calendar, or if it's already out, go binge, listen, watch, or read it. I say it that way because if you're reading this blog, I also have this on my Diane Rolston YouTube channel and in my Dynamic Women Podcast. Consume it however you feel is best for you. Let's dive in, my friend. When we think about killing off that alter ego, it's such a powerful act—an act of self-renewal, and self-empowerment. I don't use a lot of "woo-woo" words, but man, it's pretty freaking amazing because it allows you to step into your full potential, your true self, and live authentically, fully as you. We're going to ditch that old self, that alter ego, that out dated version of you—or maybe it was a little bit of a fake version of you that you used just to get by. But now we get to step into a more purposeful place. When you’re living more as who you are meant to be, you’re going to feel more in resonance; you're going to feel in flow, in energy. When you're not being your true self, you're going to be in dissonance—in friction, void of energy—and it's draining. Trying to solve problems from who you've been, and what you've known before, rather than who you're meant to be on a bigger scale is hard, or sometimes even impossible. Let's figure out who you really are. That's the first stage now that you've left the old behind. Go through the previous blogs because I do speak more about how to do that. But now that you're in this space, really define who you are.
What are you? By grabbing a bunch of these words, we're not looking to necessarily confine you with a definition, but more so to really express who you are in these words. I'm going through a rebrand right now, which is really exciting. It’s just bringing out this next evolution of me. As I go through the ways to step into who you are meant to be, if you're like, "This is way too hard. I don't know how," please reach out--[email protected]. I would be happy to talk about how we can take you through this process and really have you stand fully in your power of who you are. Adopt new habits One mistake that people make is to say, "This is who I am," but if you're not doing the actions that support who you say you are, then you're going to resort back to the old ways. How do we stay in the new version? Well, you need to adopt new habits. Ask yourself, "What does this new version of me do in the mornings and during the day? What decision would she make?" You really have to come at it from her perspective as this transition is happening. If we even think of the difference between the caterpillar to the butterfly—the caterpillar knows it must walk around and eat the leaves, and the butterfly knows it can't go and just walk around. It needs to fly to get the nectar. Stop adopting behaviors, attitudes, and habits that align with your old self. Start adopting behaviors, attitudes, and habits that align with your new identity. Makes sense, right? That's the easiest way to have the “being” shift—by having the “doing” shift happen.
I know in the past, I have done an African drumming class. My next thing is going to be glassblowing. I also did some ax throwing in there. These kinds of life-giving, fun, wild, different activities really helped to push me out of my comfort zone. What are the habits of this new version? Does she still watch The Bachelor, or is she now spending time in personal development books? Make that type of decision. Look at your day-to-day. You could even track what you're doing every day, and then ask yourself with each task, "Is this really what the person I'm meant to be does? Is this their habit?" Yes or no. Obviously, if it's a no, you're going to move past that. Make sure you surround yourself with support The next thing is to make sure you surround yourself with support—not only to figure out who you are but support from people who will call you out. Engage with people who will support your growth and can help reinforce your new identity, not people who are going to be uncomfortable with this new confidence, jealous of your new success, or feeling insecure about themselves because you now have the right habits, are stepping into your full self, and maybe are not going to be a negative talker anymore—and that's what they're about.  You might have to distance yourself from these people—people who might try to pull you back into old patterns and habits. As we know if we look at addicts, obviously they can't be in the old environment with the same people, showing up at the same places, the same bars, and doing the same activities as their old version because it is not going to help them move forward. Where can you be? Where can you hang out? Who do you need to welcome into your life so that you can be surrounded by support—people who stretch you, like a coach, people who inspire you, maybe other women who are doing similar things to you or just doing their own cool things? Set some new goals Then you're going to need to set some new goals. You're feeling more like yourself, adopting the habits, getting the help of a coach or someone to help you identify who you are, and then reinforcing that new identity. Now it's time for some new goals because these goals will now be created from who you are now and who you're being—not necessarily the old self, right? The old goals aren't going to fit with you anymore. It might even just be a revamping or an up-leveling of these goals, but we want to make sure they are newly fitted. When you define who you want to be, you'll be able to better define what you want to achieve, and this helps create a clear vision for your future and for your future self. That might be where you start:
Let's make it so much easier for the new version to step forward and to let go of that old version. If we're doing new things with new habits, new goals, and a new vision, there's going to be no place for the old version of you anymore. Share your story and journey with others Once you start getting the goals going, you've got your people around you, and you've got the habits that support all of this, start to share your story and your journey with others. What that's going to do is really solidify your transformation. That's part of why I'm sharing this. I'm also pretty much an open book. I know my community, my clients, my followers, appreciate when I pull back the curtain and share what's going on with me because maybe it's the same thing that's going on with you. Even if you think, "Diane's ahead of me in her changes,” or “Diane's similar to me,” or “I just haven't been through that before." You can learn from this as well. When you share with others, it's a way to make your new identity public—informing people and holding yourself accountable. I remember seeing Chalene Johnson on Brendon Burchard's stage, she talked about success and business. My friend Michelle, who I was with, knew her from the fitness industry, but I didn't at all. She started sharing about business, so Michelle was very confused because her vision of this person was as a fitness guru making fitness DVDs, and now she’s talking about business? So what Chalene did was talk about this new place she was in, why she was now talking about business and what she was doing as this new version of herself. I encourage you to do the same. Live authentically Let’s be real about this. We’re not going to let go of an old version or an alter ego or something that’s not in alignment and then come into something that’s also not in alignment. You’ll want to embrace your new self fully by living in alignment with who you are, what you do, what you stand for, and the person that you’ve become.  This isn’t just an ongoing commitment to keep the old alter ego, the old self from resurfacing, but committing to stay where you are. That might mean some days you’re like, “Oh, I feel like I’m slipping back. I feel like I’m not trusting myself as much. I don’t know what’s going on,” and then tapping back into the correct habits, the right boundaries, your support team and your coach—that is so crucial. Eventually, by living authentically more often, it will become more of a lifestyle, a way of being, rather than something you have to really work at or get your full self into. Continue evolving The last thing I wanted to share is the importance of continuing to evolve. You’re not done yet, sister. You may be like, “Oh, darn it. I thought this is who I’m meant to be forever, and I’m done.” You’re not. We are continually evolving. Understand that personal growth is going to keep changing and growing, transitioning. Not just because we might have learned something new or got a new passion, but because life changes. Our stages of life—you might have gone from single to married, then married to a mother, and a young mother to a mother of school-age kids, kids that are out of school, empty nester, retired—right? There are so many different stages, and they’re not all fully related to marriage or having children. That’s just one lane. There are so many other changes that happen. As you evolve, just continue to assess, Where am I at? How am I growing? Then you will ensure that you stay in alignment with your absolute true self. Wrapping Up What do you think? Are you ready to step into who you are meant to be? I encourage you to do so. If you want to have a conversation, let’s do that and see how I can support you. Email me at [email protected]. I hope to see you over in the Dynamic Women Global Community, our Facebook Group. It is free to hang out there. I like to go live, share tips, tricks. It really is for all areas of life. Until next time, stay dynamic. Read my other blogs:
If you're feeling stuck or you need to make a change, it might actually be stemming from yourself.  Today, I'm going to the next step from my previous blog, where I talked about why you'd want to kill off your alter ego like Eminem killed off Slim Shady. In this blog, I'm going to go into the practical steps of how to break free from those chains. I'll go through some steps you can take and actions you can implement. This is something I would encourage you to do with someone else. If you want to make that next step, reach out to me at [email protected]. Let's talk about how I can bring you into a more powerful version of yourself. Recognize the Parts of Yourself First, I asked you last time to recognize the parts of yourself as you go through the world:
If you haven't read that blog, I encourage you to do so. There are actually two before this one that are part of this sequence, like a series I'm doing. In the next blog, I'll talk about fully stepping into who you're meant to be. It's important to go through this process with some self-reflection. You'll have to:
This isn't just a "feel good, let's read" blog. I really hope this provokes, pushes, inspires, and motivates you to make a change. If you don't, and you stay in that alter ego or old version of yourself, and you just haven’t given yourself permission to fully step into who you’re meant to be, you're going to suffer:
If you listened to the past episodes, you'll hear how I was feeling off. I've always been good at pushing forward, but if you're staying in that old version when a new version is presenting itself, you could end up:
Which is kind of weird, right? Because you're like, “This business or this career or this volunteering or these other roles I play are really important to me and they’re priorities to me, but I'm just not living them fully as I know I can.” It’s ok… here are seven steps you can take. They're things that I'm doing. They're things that I encourage my clients to do when they're feeling a little bit stuck in the old self. Let’s cut that old self loose. #1: Identify the Alter Ego First, we need to identify the alter ego. As I mentioned in the last blog, Eminem had the very public alter ego of Slim Shady. You probably don't have a full-on alter ego that you've named, so instead, think about:
For example, are you stepping into a boss-like, authoritative position when that's not who you really are? This could be:
Write them down because these are the pieces that make up that alter ego, that other version of you. We want to move forward and move away from that. I know there are some bad habits I want to let go of, like staying up late and doom-scrolling. I don't know who else is with me on that, but those activities are not present in my higher version. We have to acknowledge the role that part of us has played. Ask yourself:
When my father passed away four years ago, I had a lot of bad habits. I was using coping mechanisms like:
But I could coach really well, and I was happy and most like myself doing it. I understood that, at that time, I was a certain way because of the grief I was in. Maybe you've had other coping mechanisms due to a tragedy, position change, or move. It could even be a positive thing like a promotion, getting a new project, or winning a proposal. But that's not the real version of you. You might have stepped into fake confidence or an over-ego, but you want to be real and authentic. You want more of an internal confidence than this external, maybe loud in your face ego. #2: Recognize the Need for Change If we look at those habits and behaviors as we self reflect, then we're going to understand the impact of those actions and ways of being. If the old version of me was doom-scrolling, staying up late, being in an authoritative place, how is that limiting my potential moving forward?  Staying up late ruins your energy the next day. It’s creating some conflict with your current self. I've joked before that "Night Diane" often screws over "Morning Diane." Night Diane gets up to no good. She’s maybe:
Morning Diane wants to:
But Night Diane screws that over. That's the part that I need to change. What do you want to change? If you continue to stay in that old self, it will stop you from fully embracing who you want to become or who you feel you are. It’s like the five stages of change. Knowing you have a problem is the first stage. All you need to do at this stage is recognize, "I need to make a change." #3: Confront the Internal Conflicts Letting go of that old identity can bring fears of the unknown and doubts about whether you can make this change. That’s normal. I know that I'm stepping into something even bigger than I'm already doing. When I look at the evolution of me and my business, I've done so many crazy, amazing, successful things over the years. If you told me I would do all these things at the start, I would have freaked out and not believed I could step into that. I was working with a client the other day who was very successful in her career but had stepped into entrepreneurship and coaching. I could impart knowledge on her, lessons I've learned. I go, “Oh yeah, you'll just say this, and you'll just do this. In this moment, you would do this, and in this situation, you can do this and say this.” She was like, “Wow. You really break this down to be so easy, so I can cut time off and have a shortcut and not make the same mistakes you did.” The thing is, you will make mistakes because it's new. Just accept that. The fear and doubt will be there because you haven't done it before. But the cool thing is, you can bring forward your confidence in other areas. (I'll pause that piece here because it will come up more in the next blog when I talk about fully stepping into who you're meant to be.) It's important that you acknowledge, write down, journal about, and get coaching on, what are the fears? What are the doubts? I am stepping into a time when I'm going to be doing more comedy. I'm putting together a one woman show, and yes, I’m carrying forward skills, experience, and knowledge that I already have. I know I can do it; however, it is something different, and it's being seen on an even bigger level. I need to know, what are those internal conflicts? Then it's important that we face these emotions head on, that we understand they're just part of growth, a very natural part of growth, and being in that growth mindset is crucial at this time. #4: Let Go of Limiting Beliefs and Behaviors They might come up from our fears:
When we get those answers, those really become our limiting beliefs and our limiting behaviors. Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. This is a hard time, and it will be uncomfortable. Give yourself some grace. Letting go of your old identity can be difficult and emotional, especially if that old version of you really served you. Over the years, I've evolved naturally. But right now, I feel like I'm in the birthing of this crazy big version of me, and letting go of the old versions that have been successful and that I know is challenging.  I'm taking up more space in the world. I've hired someone to continuously guide me through this journey and help me navigate this change because if you are in this space, you might end up judging yourself too hard, putting too much pressure on yourself. So you need someone that's understanding and will move you forward so you don't get into a downward spiral or back to what’s comfortable. #5: Embrace the Transformation Don't just cut ties with the old self. Start affirming the new identity. We'll talk more about this in the next blog, but it's important to tell ourselves, "This is good. The new identity is good." It helps us cut ties with the old. We reinforce that this new self of us is affirming the changes. We can do this by:
Having someone else to witness your journey is crucial. If you want to do this with me, email me at [email protected], and we'll have a conversation. #6: Challenge Societal Expectations This one might not even seem like an issue, but it's often the elephant in the room. Oftentimes, our alter ego or old version is reinforced by societal norms and expectations. I can remember working with a client who was designing her ideal life. She realized she wanted less in her life. She wanted to let go of her big, powerful job to be at home with her kids. She didn't want nannies or family members taking care of them. She wanted to be the one there, making grilled cheese sandwiches, doing art, going for walks, and playing. She said to me, "It looks like I'm taking a step back. My Big Hairy Audacious Goal is to quit my job and be at home with my kids full-time." Thankfully, she could do that financially because of what her husband was bringing in and just where they have secured themselves. But that was really hard. She was challenging societal expectations, not only from people outside but from her family too.
There was probably a conversation with her husband around this too. We have to challenge these expectations by questioning what truly aligns with our authentic selves. I'll say that again. We need to challenge societal expectations by questioning what truly aligns with our authentic selves. What truly aligned with her was being at home with her kids, being an amazing mom. She didn't want the pressure of going to that job. But in other people's eyes, it looked like she was taking a step back in her success. We might have to change how we've been conditioned in life and the things we've been conditioned to believe. Living in a place that's not in alignment and being who you're not meant to be, is harder than challenging societal expectations. #7: Celebrate and Reinforce the Change Mark the transition. Celebrate the process of letting go. Maybe you tell some people close to you that you're looking to create this new version. You're going to let go of some things. It might sound weird, but you might be like,
 Whatever it is, you might tell others around you and celebrate that. You could mark this occasion by writing a letter to your old self, thanking them for what they've done for you, and then discarding it. Maybe you burn it in a fire. You might write something on a rock, throw it in the water as a way of releasing that old self. Have a little ritual or ceremony, of really killing off the old self, cutting ties. Then we can get into the next blog about creating a new ritual that honors the new identity. Doesn't that sound fun? Wrapping Up Of these seven steps, are you going to do them all? I really hope you do. If you want, we can work through the steps. I can get you through a lot faster than if you try to do it yourself. I'll tell you that right now, and you'd feel supported, championed, cheerleaded, and carried along in this change because it can be hard, and it can be scary, but when you have someone in your corner, it's easier to face the battle when you know someone is right there ready to support you. Stay tuned for the next blog, where I will go into stepping into who you're meant to be. There's going to be more of these kinds of topics because I feel like these are really important for what I'm seeing in the world right now, seeing in my clients, seeing in female leaders, entrepreneurs, successful women, A-type, whatever you want to call them. I'm seeing a lot of this right now, and I don't want you to struggle. I don't want you to not be feeling good about who you are and where you are and if you're like “But I feel good about where I am.” Maybe it's just about fine-tuning and going into this next version stronger. Read my other blogs:
It might be time for you to kill off your alter ego, like Eminem killed off Slim Shady. This is a continuation of my previous blog, I’ve Outgrown that Old Version of Me.  I'm going to share what Eminem went through, why he created the alter ego, why he killed him off, and how this is seen in women's journeys, maybe in your journey, and what you can do about it. Eminem’s Journey Now, whether you know about him or not, I'll just give you a quick recap. By no means am I a mega fan or super knowledgeable, but I did some research and curated a few stats or facts about Eminem. It all started from me hearing something on the radio about how Eminem was saying, “I can't do the music of the past because I'm older, I'm a father. I'm in my 40s. People look at me and go, ‘Man, you're too old to sing that type of music.’” And he said, "I create this new music that is more in tune with who I am now." But fans some fans still say, "Oh, man, I wish I could hear his old stuff." That could be where you are in life right now, where the old stuff is not really you anymore, but people resonate with it or connect with it, or that's how they know you. You desire doing the new stuff because it feels more in tune with who you are now. The alter ego, the past version of you, the older version of you, or the 1.0 version of you may need to be ended. Now, let's look first at Eminem. Eminem went through a lot of personal struggles. That's why he created Slim Shady. This persona, who actually is a little bit more dark, rude, more bold. But he did it because he was broke. He had big financial struggles. This is before he was the Eminem we know today. He had all these financial struggles and wasn't making money doing his music. His music really had no traction. His music career was stagnant. He was also feeling like he wanted an outlet to express his emotions, his frustrations, his dark thoughts. He felt that if he did it as himself, as Eminem, or Marshall Mathers, that he would be judged for it, that it would be like, "He not a cool guy because look at all this dark stuff, all this negative stuff." He didn't want to be judged, and so he thought, "Well, if I do it as the alter ego, then I have this outlet to be able to say all this stuff. But if anyone comes at me, I can be like, 'Oh, that's just Slim Shady.'" It gave him that creative freedom. Slim Shady allowed him to really explore a more unfiltered, rebellious side. Alter Egos and Women Sometimes, in the beginning of our careers, being a mom in new friends circles, or in running our own businesses, we follow that expression "fake it till you make it."  We become who we think other people need us to be, or we become the person who we think is supposed to be in that position. But it's not authentic to who we are. It could be someone appearing bolder than who we are, more confident, maybe more sarcastic, coming out with a little bit more ego than we normally would, or trying to act like you don't care, when really you do care and you have a big heart. Other musicians have created alter egos. Beyonce has an alter ego named Sasha Fierce. Lady Gaga is not Lady Gaga in real life. She’s Stefani Germanotta. Gaga is a character that she's playing. Mariah Carey has an alter ego, Biana Storm, who started in a music video. Other people have done it too, but now I'm going to bring it back to our lives. There are women who have outgrown the old version and those who feel like they had to be someone different from themselves or in order to get through a specific time. They stepped into being what they thought they needed to be, and now they've come to a realization, “That's not for me anymore.” What happened for Eminem He realized that Slim Shady was negatively impacting him. Being in that negative, rebellious place, the dark thoughts were causing him to self-medicate by using substances. It almost cost him his career, his family, his life. Over time, he decided, "I'm going to get sober." In getting sober, he's moving away from this alter ego as well. Different resources say he's been sober for 16 years. Congratulations to him, and he feels his life has improved so much since he's moved away from this persona. We often play a persona in the world, and then we come home, and we're very different people, especially for women in top leadership roles. They maybe feel like they have to be tough. They have to be more masculine than they normally would be. It's funny, you see this often in business owners, and women in newer or higher positions. They'll have this certain persona in the beginning, and then over time, they seem to change, and hopefully they're changing to become the more authentic version of themselves. Now, for Eminem, he knew times were changing as well, so the way he was being before, for his fan base, it was a match. But as he grew, and he's in his 40s and has kids, his fans have grown and have families, and the antics of Slim Shady are not in alignment anymore with his original fan base. He's like, "Well, if they're not really relating to this, and it's not relevant to them, why would I continue?" Now, it doesn't mean he can't still play that music, especially at concerts, because his people want to hear the songs. I'm sure you've heard that line, "Will the real Slim Shady please stand up." I'm not going to rap at all, especially not with Eminem's content because he is the master of rapping. But he has evolved. He has grown up. He is more, I would say, confident in who he is, and he likes himself. In the beginning, when you hear about all these struggles, he wasn't really liking himself, so he had to come up with this other persona. How many times have we created a persona, an alter ego, because we don't like ourselves, because we don't feel like we're enough? I'm going to share a little bit about some concepts around alter egos, examples with Eminem and then with women and why we do it. I would love for you to think about how it shows up in your life. Concepts around alter egos and why we do it Concept 1: We Need to Acknowledge the Past is the Past Slim Shady represented a specific period in Eminem's life in the past, and it served a purpose in the past. For us as women, in women's journeys, we carry past versions of ourselves. Recently, my husband and I dropped off our kids to summer camp, and so we went to a restaurant, had a couple of drinks and some food, and they said, "Any other plans for today?" We said, "Well, we just dropped our kids off, so we're free.” We don't know what to do with ourselves because we haven't hung out for a week without the responsibility of children for 12 years. The younger version of me cared only for me and my loved ones. I wasn't responsible for another person's life. That past version of me I had to leave behind, the partying version of me. I can still have a good time, but that version of me doesn't serve a purpose today. Which past versions of you are you still carrying forward that don't serve a purpose anymore? We often develop these past identities as coping mechanisms for whatever we're going through, whatever life is, and so you might have been someone who shows up more powerful or even less powerful in order to fit in, but it's not who you authentically are. These are based on earlier experiences, earlier stages of life, but they don't fit into where you are now, because maybe now you are a mother, you are a wife, you are maybe caring for aging parents. You have your purpose in life. You're not just floating around anymore, and you get to that point where you're a little bit older, where you care a little bit less about what other people think of you, because you know you're authentically standing in who you are. Concept 2: The Need for Growth Eminem outgrew Slim Shady as he matured. As we mature, we face new challenges, and we need to bring in our stronger identities. You may find your old identities no longer serve you.
Growth requires a shedding of these outdated versions of you. It's not to say these outdated versions are wrong, because if we look at Eminem's success, they came because he used the confidence, creativity and freedom that Slim Shady gave him to get him where he is now. But the key thing here is, what got you to where you are today isn't going to get you to where you want to be tomorrow. You have to shed those old versions. That will come up in future blogs. I'm going to talk more about how to do this, but if you're like, “Diane, I just need to know this now. I need to talk about it now.” Please email me at [email protected]. Let's have some coaching around this. Why do women need to do this? Well, it’s personal evolution, evolving as a person. Yes, that's true. It's not just career evolution or materialistic evolution. Who you are as a person means you need to adapt to new roles and responsibilities.  In the beginning, Eminem was not a father. When he became a father, things changed. If you see his social media or articles, you'll see how he is such a loving father. If we don't shed these outdated versions, these old patterns, these old ways of being, these old personas, these old alter egos, they will hold us back from progress and fulfillment. If you keep them around, you're going to slip back into them. It's comfy. But the problem is, you're not going to get the results you want. Concept 3: Internal and Outer Conflict Now we're facing this inner conflict. That's why we also have to kill off the old personas. Eminem was confronting the decisions. “Do I move away from Slim Shady when people love him? Do I move away from Slim Shady because he made me successful? Do I move away from Slim Shady? Can I do it on my own? I don't know.” He is in an inner conflict. He's in this place of battling who he was and who he wants to be, and he has to decide, “Can I be both? Do I stay in the one, even though it doesn't feel right anymore, or do I move into the new, even though that feels scary?” As women, we are constantly evolving, and we're facing this internal conflict of, do we let go of what is familiar? Do we stay where we are, but have limited results, limited ways of being, limited growth? Or do we step into the scary part? We battle our fears. We battle our doubts. We battle societal expectations of us up until this point. We need to end that inner conflict by letting go of these familiar roles. Yes, it can be scary, but letting go of them so that we can step into who we know we want to be, need to be and are authentically ourselves. We have to keep doing it because societal expectations will often push us back into the old identities and reinforce those outdated identities for us. I'm sure there are many music critics that said,
The thing is, there will be backlash from the people who benefited from the old way of you were being because it benefited them. A lot of times with my clients, when we start to set boundaries like, “No, I'm not going to do that anymore.” “No, I'm not accepting the way you're talking to me anymore”, because we're stepping into a stronger, more authentic version of ourselves. That's when other people don't get what they want. They're going to push back, and they're going to say, “You've changed. Things aren't the same.” Well, of course, because they're not allowed to walk all over you anymore. They're not allowed to get what they want anymore, because you're not going to deal with it. There's not just inner conflict you're going to face. There's outer conflict with people. That's why having a strong support network around you is important, and having a coach to help you through it is important. Concept 4: Transformation and Empowerment Eminem killing off Slim Shady is actually a powerful act of self empowerment. He's saying, “I don't need this persona anymore. I don't need this alter ego to be successful anymore. I can be me, the singer, Eminem. I can be me and I can be successful still.” You have to embrace this transformation, and that's going to mean letting go of that old self, old version, the old persona. When you do that, it is empowering. I've had so many iterations of me, all just a little level up from the previous version. Plus, that meant letting go of the old ways I was doing things, the old ways I'm showing up. There is an edgier, feistier, more provoking side of me. It's not all, “Oh, I am kind and I follow the rules.”  No, there is this edgier version of me that is starting to be shown into the outer world more. My friends get it. My family gets it. My clients get it. My comedy audiences get it. But I haven't put it out to the full world and been this way, which is causing strife and friction for me. We need to embrace that transformation and align it with our current values. I think that was the problem for Eminem. Slim Shady doesn't represent his values. His new values are rooted in much better things, I'm sure, especially with him being a father and growing up that Slim Shady is dishonoring his values. If you are feeling off, it could be that this old persona, this way of your being, is actually going against your values. Think about that one for a moment. Empowerment comes from reclaiming your true identity. Even if you're like, “But I love this way of being”, well, is it actually who you are now? When you allow yourself to transform, you will have greater authenticity, greater self-expression and greater success. Practical Steps I'm going to share with you a couple of thoughts here, but I'll go more in depth in the next blog.
What are the next steps? Practice some self reflection, set some boundaries, and adopt new habits. These pieces are going to be the whole next blog. Sign up here to get my blogs and podcasts sent right to your inbox. Concept 5: Celebrate this New Identity It's important to celebrate this new identity. Eminem found renewed purpose after moving on from Slim Shady, and he embraced his new identity. I want to change that statement from embracing his new identity to embracing the authentic version of himself. You may say, “Well, why is he going by the name Eminem?” Well, it's a band name. It's a music name. That's fine. He has his regular name, Marshall Mathers, but Slim Shady was the additional character that was created. It doesn't mean you have to change your name, but we're going to celebrate the new version of you. If you're thinking, “Well, I don't know fully what the new version is.” Okay, email me. Let's do some one-on-one coaching to figure that out. Embracing self discovery is important here. Embracing your confidence, embracing your potential, so giving space for that newness to come in. You need to celebrate your new identity because it will reinforce this positive change. It's going to affirm this journey of personal development. It's going to build confidence, and you're going to grow in the future. Stay tuned for the next blog. If you feel that I can be of service to you, coaching you through any of these pieces, please reach out to me at [email protected] and let's have a chat about how I can support you to step into the more authentic version of you, the more kick butt version of you, the more enlightened version of you, the more powerful version. Even if you don’t feel it now or know what it is, we're going to tap into it and push it forward so you’re super clear on what it is and how you can show up in the world as who you're meant to be. Read my other blogs:
Today, I'm going to talk about how I have outgrown that old version of me. If you want to watch the YouTube version of this blog, please go to this link. If you want to hear me talk about this topic, listen to this episode of the Dynamic Women Podcast. What does that even mean? How does that connect to you? Maybe you're feeling a little bit like, "Wow, I've been in business for a long time," or "I've been in my career for a long time." You might feel like you've moved on, things are different now, and you're feeling a bit stuck. It’s not the right match anymore.  It's like when you put on an outfit that has been a favourite of yours, and it looks really good on you and you wear it well. Then you look in the mirror and think, "I just don't love it anymore. I'm just not feeling my best in it anymore. I want a change. I want something different. I want something to represent me fully." It wasn't until one of my coaches said this to me: "Diane, you’ve outgrown that version of you." I know I've outgrown a lot of the work I've done, taking it to a completely bigger level. I'm on a bigger mission, and that's going to be another blog coming up. I've had a lot of success—I've been in business for 14 years now. I've moved from life coaching to mainly doing business coaching because people kept coming to me for that. I don't say that to brag, but to show this transition that I'm in. I've had a lot of success doing things a certain way, and I've thought, "Okay, I've outgrown those things, those offerings." I have outgrown the way I have done it, not to say that I won't do it in a similar way, but I'm going to do it at a higher level. Even though it's been wonderful, I agree that I've outgrown those things. My clients sometimes worry that this means I'm not working with them anymore. But no, they're just getting me at this higher level, which is really exciting. It's been this way for a while now. I haven't felt the same drive and joy in doing those older pieces. But it wasn't until my coach actually said, "Diane, you have outgrown that version of you," that I realized I wasn't just outgrowing the things I did. I've outgrown who I am. We all do that. You might be in version 9.0 of yourself. We're constantly up-leveling. Sometimes it's a natural flow or shift. Sometimes, we need to take a moment and think, “What of the old do we need to shed to come into the new?” Caterpillar-to-Butterfly Analogy A lot of people use the caterpillar-to-butterfly analogy, that whole metamorphosis of changing from one thing to another. And how you need to let go of the one for the other. It's true. You can't be a caterpillar and a butterfly at the same time. But I think that's what I've been doing. I had one foot in the caterpillar and one foot in the butterfly, and I just needed to go full-blown into the butterfly. I've outgrown the way I used to do things, my offerings, and how I showed up. It wasn't that I was a bad version of myself. I was a full person making decisions based on the knowledge, experience, tools, skill, and who I was being.  Over the past few years, I had major friction. I've felt a bit stuck, lazy, unmotivated, and unfocused. Yet, because I'm a coach and a driven, motivated person, I still accomplish and have a lot of things happening. What I did in the past was based on who I was in the past. Still me, but there's this newly evolved version of me. Maybe this is true for you, it's time to not be half in and half out anymore. It's like standing between two worlds, and you can't stand between the two worlds, or you won't know how to be. It's not even just you don't know what to offer, and you don't know how to brand yourself, and you don't know how to speak about what you do. But you don't even know how to show up anymore. Recently, I went to get my new driver's license photo done. I thought about my last one, I just rocked up there and got a photo taken. This time, I put some thought into it, and my son noticed I was dressed up. It wasn't that I thought my outfit would be part of the photo. It's how I wanted to “be” in that photo. I know you can't smile. I know you can't pose, and I know that the photos usually suck. But it was really cool because even when I went in there I was the current version of me and I was treated differently. Usually, you don’t get to see the photo or redo it unless your eyes are closed, or you smiled somehow or another issue. But after the guy took the photo, he showed it to me and asked if I was happy with it. I redid it because my chin was up too high. The next one, my chin was too far down. We took another shot, and finally, I got it right. It was funny because I showed up differently. I showed up like the newer version of me. As I said, you might be in version 9.0 of yourself. But have you actually honoured it? Have you actually honoured the change, the growth, and who you were being? Or are you supposed to be in version 14 of you, and there's still that notification internally that says, it's time to upgrade. It's time to go to this newer version of you. But you're not. If we think of different platforms like Zoom or our phones, there are different versions of software for a reason: they run faster, they run better, they're smarter, more intuitive, the bugs are fixed and more features. This is the same with you. When you're standing between the two worlds, two versions, the old one and the new upgraded one, neither will run properly. You can't perform well if you are between the two. If you are in an old version, you're not moving forward, things will feel slow. You'll be in dissonance. There'll be friction. There will be a void of energy. It's going to drain you. That's how I've been feeling a little bit because there is this need for me to fully upgrade.  I truly believe you cannot do this type of work by yourself. It wasn't until my coach said, “You've outgrown this version of you” that I went, “Yes. Yes. I have.” That's what's been feeling off. I'm still doing great work. I'm still supporting my clients because in those moments when I'm supporting my clients, I am this newer version of me. I am at my fullest and my best. But the other times, and I want you to think about that too. Have you been able to fully be yourself? There has been some shedding over the past few years, shedding of people, shedding of places, and things. When I show up places, and it’s is not the place I need to be, it's hard for me to stay there. Maybe you’ve felt that way too, or with people in your life, that you're on this trajectory of moving up and moving forward. But you've been held back. I had to ask myself, and you can ask yourself now, what has stopped you from stepping fully into that next piece, that next version, that newer, better, shiny version of you? I've talked before about how sometimes with clients, when they come to me, they're living in black and white. If you've seen The Wizard of Oz, at the start of the movie, everything's in black and white, and then all of a sudden it goes to color, and it's vibrant. That's what I see in people. In the beginning, it's this void of energy. They're in front of me, but they don't have life in them, no spark, no mojo. They're drained. They're fatigued. They're in that dissonance. But really, we want to be living in color. I guess that's also why the caterpillar to the butterfly is a really good analogy to be visual to the color. Yes, I get caterpillars are in bright greens and other bright colors. But when we think of butterflies, we think of vibrancy and almost like that opulence of how they're shining. The color changes to almost holographic, and this shimmery metallic tones. The key thing to think about here and probably why I felt a little bit like cocooning and pulling back and hiding a little bit was that if you don't step forward, you will internally die a slow death. You're going to lose out to the old you. The old you is going to take up more space than the newest version of you. The old you is going to push out the color and keep you in the black and white. You have to make that decision that you’ve not only outgrown that old version of you, but that you will be the new version, which the new I believe is just the most authentic, current, best version of you that you were meant to be.  This is where we're going over the next few blogs. I'm going to talk a little bit about the change of mission. I'm going to talk more about how to step into who you're meant to be. I feel like this is what the world and you as my reader are really striving for right now. It's like things just don't feel where they need to be. They don't feel like how you want them to be. You know you've outgrown where things have been and what you've been doing, but do you actually have permission to say you've outgrown who you're being?
It can be a really scary place to be because what does that mean for you? It means stepping into a bigger, fuller version of you. Let's see where this journey goes. I would love to hear how this resonated with you, or the questions this brought up for you. Shoot me an email at [email protected] and let me know your thoughts. Read my other blogs: Today, I'm talking about how, once I started to do this, I had consistent social media content.  Which are you with regard to your consistency on social media? A. “I do put out stuff. I put out something once a week.” B. "I have to post today and I don't know what to post!" C. "Wow, when I look at other people's social, they've got more going on." D. "How can someone be on YouTube and have a podcast and have a blog and have social media content?" E. “My social media is amazing, and I post frequently.”
All of these things are so stressful. But really what you want is to just have a consistent social media presence. If you're like, "Actually, no, Diane, I want to be making money off of every single post and every bit of marketing material, or every bit of content I put out there," well, great. But maybe you should just start with being consistent online and have it be a stress-free process. The Solution I tell you, if you're going to hire people to do this, it’ll be a massive team. You'll be putting out money for:
And on and on and on. It gets expensive for a business owner. It's so time-centered that you're spending so much of your time hiring people, getting them to do the content, managing all of these people, and then giving them feedback on things. It's wasting not only your time, but your energy, and your money. You don't want to do that, right? What is the thing that I started doing that has just been a game changer for me? I started creating one piece of anchor content and then repurpose it across all mediums, and all platforms. The Process Let me just give you an idea of the extent to which this has grown. If you want to know the whole process, the ins and outs and how to do each part, I encourage you to grab the Content Multiplication Magic program. I do have that as an option to share this whole process with you.For those of you who are already in Virtual Assistant Made Easy, or you're thinking about getting a virtual assistant, I do bonus that in for you. PLUS, I will give you a copy of every single step in the process with training videos, checklists, so that your virtual assistant can do these pieces for you. Content Multiplication Magic is magic because it’s taking one piece of content and repurposing it across all these different platforms. I'll give you an idea of the extent to which I do this now:
Using this one piece of anchor content has so many benefits. In the past, I used to write a blog, go live or do a video, and then record the podcast, doing three main pieces of content. Then, I still had to create the social media posts, the newsletter, and the blog, all by myself. In the beginning, when I started doing this, it cut down on the time because it was only one main piece of content, that I was creating. Repurposing meant I didn't have to create new content for all the different platforms. Benefit 1: This diminished the workload by five. Benefit 2: The great thing about it was that each piece was in my voice without paying a writer. I used to hire someone to write social media posts for me. She was so good at figuring out how to speak like me and how to write like me, but her rates kept going up and up and up. But I paid it. Eventually, I accidentally coached her out of working for me by following her dreams and goals. For me to go and find someone else who could match my voice was going to be hard, and it was going to be expensive. A lot of companies do this. A lot of people have copywriters, social media writers and scriptwriters for their videos. That's fantastic. But if you are a solopreneur, or a small business owner, or someone who's trying to do business on the lean, or somebody who just likes to reduce expenses and not have a lot of people to manage, this is a great concept for you to put in place. Repurposing your anchor content When you do it this way, that one piece of anchor content gets repurposed. It is your voice. It’s always going to be your voice. You don't have to worry about someone else not matching your voice or someone else using ChatGPT, or someone else plagiarizing. The other benefit is it's all your messages. In the beginning, I thought, "No, I must have a different YouTube from my podcast, and from my blog. Everything has to be unique." Well, no, it doesn't. Because when you think of it, people are inundated with content. Do you really think your ideal customer, your ideal client, your community are going to watch your video, read your blog, listen to your podcast, and look at every single social post? More than likely they won't. What if you put out that consistent message every week and just pulled different content from it? It’s still different, but the people who love to watch things will watch your YouTube. People who like to listen will listen to your podcast. People who like to read will read your blog. People who want short, easy-to-digest content will be on your social media. You can just do that one piece and then pull from it.  It's funny because I'll have people read the blog after they've watched the video, and they haven't fully clicked in that it's the same content. They catch new things or different things from it the second time. That's the first pieces to how I did it: I use that one piece of anchor content to create all of my assets for the week. Then, I grew up in my business. I hired someone to edit a lot of these things. I hired different companies to do the different pieces for me like publishing my podcast, as well as I had a Canadian assistant who did many of the pieces I did. It was amazing because passing off my recording to be done in all these different places was great because then I could focus on higher impact, higher income-producing or generating tasks. I could focus on follow-up after meetings and meeting with people. I could work on the business stuff, and the vision and the future of my business, rather than getting into the weeds of repurposing content. That's what I did for a while. Then almost four years ago, I hired two Filipino virtual assistants who are still working with me today. Plus, I now a team of 14 virtual assistants where a lot of my clients are using my Content Multiplication Magic system in order to do this for them. The key second piece is pass off what you record, pass off that anchor piece of content, so that it's not you who is doing all the repurposing. That's key. Because you need to pull yourself out of this type of time-consuming task, and leverage the time so that you can increase your income, increase your profits, because you're doing more of the client work and more of the sales.  The last piece was fully having things repurposed. I know I've already mentioned repurposing, but I mean, fully. People think, “Well, how are you repurposing?” I've already talked a little bit about it.
The video goes onto YouTube, the audio on the podcast, then the copy into the blog. But then there are things like repurposing that content, cutting a long form video into short form video into stories into reels into social posts, like quote posts. There are all these different nuances of how you can use it. When we repurpose a video, especially if we're repurposing an interview someone has, we can break that down into 30 plus assets, usually we do 30. That's a very generous amount of assets from one 12-15 minute interview. *Side note, if you want one of your interviews repurposed, we're happy to do that. My team of virtual assistants from the Philippines does a phenomenal job. How this benefitted me and can benefit you too It's so great, because it has saved me, not only time, money, energy., but also stress. It really saves me stress. By having my team develop my weekly content, it has given me that consistency online. People tell me…:
Key thing is, I don't do it all myself. I'll let you know that this summer 2024, we are opening up some spots for a program I call Your Content Made Easy, where every week we take one of your videos, and we repurpose it into social media content for you. (If you want everything like YouTube, podcast, blog newsletter, all that stuff, then talk to me separately.) But if you're just like, “Diane, I just want social media posts.” Great. We take that one video. We repurpose that content for you. It can be a recorded video. It could be a live video, and we're going to repurpose it into every single week 12 different pieces of content. Seven will be for daily posts, and five will be for the story section so that you can hit both areas. Every month, you give us 4 videos and we make 48 social media posts or stories for you. What this is going to help you do By being more consistent online, you're going to be able to grow your audience, because people are going to see more of your content. It's going to expand your reach because there's more chance for them to connect with it. It's going to save you time, especially during the summer, if you want to enjoy yourself. The cool thing is, if you wanted, we could pre do your content all the way to the end of the year, or pre do your content for the rest of the next 12 months. Our virtual assistant team is ready to help you to repurpose your content so you can use it on all of your social media channels. Then you get to focus on what you want to focus on and build your business. I think that's a triple win. There is a very special invitation when you join now. I encourage you, click the link and go through it. What we do is we just get these four videos from you. You maybe already have recorded videos. If you don't know how to record, I will give you a program to be able to teach you how to record very easily and for free so that when you give us those four videos, we create 48 pieces of content that you didn't have to make and all you need to do is post it up. Even then, if you're like, “I don't know how to post them or I don’t want to be the one to schedule them.” Okay, we can talk about that and talk about my team doing this for you. But I only have seven spots, that's because my team is busy. This came because some people I talked to about getting a virtual assistant said, “Diane, can't you just have the VA make the content for me, and you manage them?” Exactly. I can totally do that. Because I have been doing it this way for many years. The whole thing too is this is original content. This is not you buying social posts from someone. This is not repurposing and just changing a design from someone else. No, this is 48 pieces of original content, your content, in your brand colors, your font, and your voice. I hope you'll check it out. You're going to get a lot from it, for sure. As you go through this, think again about the power of having consistent social media content by taking this one piece of anchor content and passing off what you record then having it repurpose into all the different pieces. Game changer for my life. I hope you put this into practice because it is going to solve a lot of the things business owners struggle with…
It's really going to solve a lot of those problems. Thank you for reading this week’s blog. Know that I do this every week because I want to make your life easier and your business and life better. Read my other blogs: 1. 3 Actions for Better Social Media Results 2. 3 Reasons Why You’re Not Posting Consistently on Social Media 3. How to Direct Message on Social Media Without Being Salesy You need to stop chasing success if you want to have happiness now. This is something I had to learn the hard way. My whole life, I have been a top achiever. I've always been chasing success:
 Whatever it may be, I've been going for that thing. I've put that thing on a pedestal, the success that society is saying that I should have and you should have. I've been recently working with a client who has had a lot of success professionally, a lot of success in her personal life around the home that she was able to build. What I'm noticing in her, and I've noticed in a lot of high-achieving women, is we are sold this story that to be happy, we need:
But these things don’t make us automatically happy. That's the hard truth because we're being pushed, driven, and signed up to this false reality that when you have these specific things happen to you and reach these particular successes, you will be happy. I can remember the very beginning of my coaching journey. I put it out there that I was offering coaching services, even on Craigslist, and someone reached out to me. It ended up that they had just sold a business two years earlier. They had built up this business with two other friends and sold it for 75 million to another major company we use daily (you probably know the name of the company and the name of their business, but for confidentiality, I won’t share.) His cut was 25 million, and he was just in his 30s when the sale happened. At this point, it was ending the time of the transition from passing it off to the new owners. He was free to do whatever he wanted with $25 million. The problem and why he hired me is he said, “I'm not happy. Everything in my life was culminating to this moment of building this company and selling it, and I've done that. I've achieved that. Now, I'm at the point where I'm like, ‘Why am I not happy? Why is there a void in me?’” I coached him to switch from measuring life according to success to measuring life according to satisfaction. This happens repeatedly in my clients. Just recently, this client bought into the idea of “have these successes, and then you'll be happy.” But after facing burnout on multiple occasions, the switch had to happen! This is a story I see over and over and over and over again. It might not be burnout. It might be…
 It's this moment of, “Is this what I signed up for? Because if so I don't like it.” Then you don't want to say anything because you'd be ungrateful to have…
All the boxes are checked. Yet, you are…
I've been there. I’ve felt it. It's not just for those in a nine-to-five. It can happen in your business as well as in life. It can happen in the perfect career or the perfect business. That feeling of, “Why am I not happy?” As I mentioned, you dare not say anything to anyone because it would seem like you are so ungrateful. I know another woman who built up a business. I won't say what business it is because that could potentially give it away to people who know me. She built up a business, and then she decided to sell it. People said, “Oh, I'm so sorry, it didn't work out.” She replied, “No, it did work out. I'm selling it because I'm not happy. I'm moving on to something else. I was happy with what it was and the time is done.” People think when you end something, you couldn't keep it, or it didn't work out. But I have clients who…
They stepped away from all these situations because it wasn't what they wanted anymore. Sometimes we paint a vision for ourselves of “this is what I wanted”. Which makes it hard to make a new decision later down the road. Not as a completely new person, but with a different value system or stronger dialled in values, more of a vision for what's important in life. We have this moment where the person you are today wants to make a different decision than the person of the past. That stuff doesn't matter anymore because you've learned something, and there's wisdom that has come in. Some people might say, “Oh, that's too bad that you couldn't keep it going” Or “That was a bad decision for leaving that. You'll never get that type of career/position. You'll never have that kind of money again.” Well, what would I say? It's worth testing out, worth taking the leap. Some of my clients have grieved
But was it what they wanted or what their ego told them to go for? We have this fine line of: "This is good for you,” and “This is a jail that you're going to be trapped in.” I felt that years ago, before I started my business. I would come home at night and reach for the wine, eat junk food, be tired, and wonder, “Why am I unhappy?” Everything on paper was successful. I looked at my list and check, check, check.
Everything was getting checked off. I was on the success path. “Why do I feel this restlessness? Why do I feel empty?” I thought, “This was supposed to be exactly what I wanted.” But the thing is, I needed to figure out what the vision really felt like for me. Over my path, different pieces have come in, piece after piece, and it's started to reveal a new vision for my life. What happens with clients is that once they stop measuring their life according to their success and start measuring it according to their satisfaction, their contentment increases. Their happiness, values, and lives become rich, energetic, happy, joyful, fulfilling, and precisely what they want. But they had never really asked themselves the coaching questions I ask to give them the clarity and vision. Are you going to break free from what society tells you is successful for you? What is important to you? If you really break it down, these other things are what matters most. I've heard from many people who have gone to third-world countries and helped people.
They say, “I can't believe how happy these people are without much. They’re much happier than I am. I thought I was coming in and teaching them things. They taught me things.” That's because these people don’t measure their life according to their success. They are looking for…
Yes, they may not have lavish homes and amazing careers that bring in a lot of money, but they're happy. You need to stop measuring your life according to your success.  I know it's hard. It's so hard. I'm a recovering perfectionist. I am a recovering high achiever. I still achieve, but slowing down has been one of the greatest gifts in my life and relationships. My clients say to me, “Wow, it's so good to choose me and what I want. Not to be pressured by keeping up with the Joneses or what others think would make me happy.” It's not about the ego of how life looks. It's more about how it feels to live your life. That's the key thing. Sure, you've heard many times over. People on their deathbed, they don't say things like…
What they say is…
You have that choice now, whether you are 7 or 70, 19 or 90. I love when my clients have that moment of “Wow, this is what it means to live. This is what it means to be happy.” I had been living in black and white before. Now, I get to choose what I want to have. Stop measuring your life according to society's belief of success and start looking at what will make you truly happy. Have that vision for your life and what you want it to be like.  It's sometimes just about the simple things. That's why I find I'm happiest on the weekends having lazy days. When we don't have a big list of accomplishments and we're not pressured to have expensive experiences, instead it’s the simplest things. Just ask yourself, “What brings me joy?”
I'm super passionate about this because I'm so grateful for my experience with my coach about 14 years ago, where I saw the difference between these two. It's funny. I just did the Wheel of Life with one of my clients, whom I've been working with for years, and she didn't click in that The Wheel of Life is a professional coaching tool that measures satisfaction, not success. See how strongly it’s ingrained in us! If you want to go through that experience, I have two one-on-one coaching spots right now. We can figure out where your wants and your needs are and the vision for the life you really want to have. You’ll know how to bring that spark back to you, and you’ll be satisfied not just when you've achieved success, but now and every day on the way to success. We don't want to keep waiting for those “when” days, the “if” days. When I get that… If I get that…. We want it to be happening now. Because some of our goals are big. They'll happen five years from now, or 10 years from now. What does that mean for this life in the moment? That client I had who had 25 million was able to look at all areas of life and determine, “What do I really want in those areas? What values matter to me?” What came forward was family, being connected with someone else so that they could share their life with them, develop things like their language from their culture and background, and form more family bonds because they've been working so hard for so long. I ask that of you. What is it going to take for you to stop measuring your life according to success and instead measure it according to satisfaction? This is one of the biggest switches, maybe even the biggest switch, that I made 14 years ago, that has made the biggest difference in my life and is the biggest difference in every client's life. You may think, “That's simple, I can do that.” You could, but the switch isn’t that easy. It's much easier with someone else looking into your life, giving you that hard truth, the no BS, and taking you through it. I tried to find happiness myself. Even as a coach, I need someone else to hold me to a higher vision for myself. I'm happy to be that person. As I said, I've got two spots right now for one-on-one coaching. Let's do this. Let's spend the next little while figuring out what that vision is for you and helping you be happy every day. Read my other blogs: Today, I am going to share the three things I wish I was told when I started my business. Around 14 years ago, I hired a coach, and after about four months, I realized, “Wow, coaching is what I want to do. This will bring together all of my talents!” When I was younger, I didn't know what career I would have. When they asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer would be, “I don't know. A teacher? A speaker? A broadcaster? I don’t know.”  Putting all of these little pieces together, I finally became a life coach and speaker, and all this came together with the desire to empower women. I actually did my coaching certification while working full-time, then got pregnant—that was all the plan—and then ended up on maternity leave building the business, and I never fully returned because I was building the business. Leaving a nine-to-five job was a great experience for me, and thankfully I was successful in my business. Over the years, because I've been building my business and having success, people have come to me and asked:
Over the years, I've done a lot of business consulting and taught people how to do these different things. Even though it’s been amazing, I still have days when I'm like, “Why am I doing this?” Maybe you have also felt that way in your career or business. “Ah, this is not a good day. Why am I doing this?” It may come on because you don't get a client, a proposal is not approved, or whatever the case may be. Something happens, and you go, “Okay, this is why,” and it's very obvious. But what do we do on the other days? On the days when things feel bad, or you're not on your A game, and you're wondering, “Why is this happening?” These are the three things I've experienced over the years that I wish someone had told me about. Lesson #1: You won't always have the energy. People say, “Oh, do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life.” Even though you love what you do, some days are a grind. If I have to fly somewhere for a speaking engagement, and then maybe there was a delay in the flight, and now I'm arriving late, and I don't get to sleep well. Then, in the morning, I'm doing a tech check, I'm meeting people, and then I'm at the event and then I give so much. They say one hour on stage is like eight hours of work. Then you're still schmoozing, talking, giving, and doing, and then you get to bed late, but you must wake up early to fly back. I don't always have the energy for that. That's just my own physical limitations. Maybe you're feeling like, “Some days, I don't have the energy, and I wonder if I'm going to be able to get everything done,” because your to-do list seems super long. I want to let you know that that's okay. There are days when you won't have the energy because maybe you've already given it, or maybe it's a task you don't love doing. It's very common for us to be in that place of “I don't have the energy,” which might be emotional, physical, or mental.  Ask yourself, on a scale of one to 10, where is your physical energy, emotional energy, and mental energy? Which one do you have a lot of? Which one do you not? Knowing that is important so you can take the next steps around it. I also want to let you know I am creating a mini-course called Summer Productivity Playbook. It's being put together right now. You can purchase it for just $7 until I finish it. Once I do, the price will increase to $47. It's just something fun I want to do around these three different things I wished I was told and their solutions. Lesson #2: You're not always going to feel focused Isn't it annoying when you don't feel focused? When you have a massive list of things to do, and you're like, “Where do I even start?” Or you have to work on something with a deadline, and you just can't get your head to stop floating around. The thoughts in your brain are all over the place. It's frustrating because you only want to get your work done. A lack of focus can come from many different reasons. It could be that you're not working on the right things. It could be that you've got a lot going on emotionally, mentally, physically, or in other areas of your life. When you lack focus, you can't get things done. Then, you start to feel your confidence diminish, and you experience a lack of self-belief and frustration because you want to move forward but can't. Have you felt that? Sometimes, the focus just doesn't last the full day. Maybe you have pockets of focus, like first thing in the day, maybe after lunch, or in the evenings, late at night, when you really should be sleeping and can focus. I wish I knew that this would happen. Sometimes, in my business or my days, there might be weeks when I'm just having difficulty focusing on the task. As much as you want to believe that you can separate your work and life, they are completely intertwined. How you feel and how things are going in your life will affect your business. I guess that would be something I didn't think of as much when I started my business. Lesson #3: You won’t always get stuff done, and you might not even get the right stuff done. When I started my business, I knew I needed a logo, a business card, a website, and all these things. I got them done, but sadly, I didn't get them done right. If you've ever been in my program, the Million Dollar Woman, I share how things started, what my website looked like initially, and how I thought it needed to be custom-made. I invested a ton of money. Then, a little while later, I realized, “Wow, that was not the best decision.” I made decisions as a coach, not as a business owner.  In your business, you're not always going to get stuff done because you wear many hats and you aren't the expert on everything. In the book, “The E-Myth” Michael E. Gerber defines this well, sharing that everyone who owns a business basically has to be the CEO, the manager, and the technician. But many people come in as technicians who are good at the skills that clients are paying for.
You're an accountant doing the accounting work. You're a social media creator doing the social media work, but that's the technician role. Not only that, but you also need to be a manager of the project, a manager of the people if you hire others, a manager of the clients, and you have to manage all the business workings. Then, you also have to be the CEO, the one working on the business, in the vision, the goals, and the timeline. You sometimes don't get the right stuff done because you're too busy as the technician, too busy as the manager, or too busy as the CEO. Then you're not the technician enough, or you're not in sales enough. Getting stuff done when your business's organizational chart is so massive, with your name in most of the roles, is hard. It's really hard. Then there are also these things that will stop you from getting things done…
How are things going to get done? Thankfully, I have people to help me get things done. As soon as I finish recording a podcast, it will be sent to Karissa and Kristine, and they'll take care of all the pieces afterward (like this blog), which is amazing. But I didn't know in the beginning that in order to get one thing done, many other things have to be done like if I'm going to have a podcast, there’s a lot of work that goes into it:
It goes on and on and on. There are so many things to get done. Normally, you won't get the amount of stuff done that you want. That's just the reality of having your own business and of also being just a high-achieving, driven woman. That's kind of how it goes. There's always going to be something on your to do list. Wrapping Up These are just three things I wish someone told me when I started my business. I wish they had told me because these would be things I would struggle with because I couldn’t plan for them or know it’s normal. It's like being pregnant or having a baby where no one wants to tell you the hard truth, the stuff you should do, and the stuff that you should watch out for. Not having energy, not being focused, and not always getting stuff done are realities of having your own business. Make sure that you go to this link so that you can get in on the solutions to these three different problems that I see in many business owners as I do a lot of my consulting work or even in professional women, high-achieving women, and corporate leaders. I see these things with them as well. In this mini course I will share the solutions to these three things, and how to easily get things going again, so you don't want to miss it. It's $7 before it is fully created. Once it's created, the price is going to go up. You want to make sure that you're grabbing this right away. P.S. Don't forget to nominate the Dynamic Women Podcast in the Podcast Awards for Best Female Hosted Podcast and People's Choice Award. I would really appreciate it if you did. Read my other blogs: We've all been there. We’ve all had a day when something didn't go right. Maybe…
 We feel like we're in a mood, and we're down. All we want to do is cancel everything in our day and just do nothing. Well, that's not always a possibility. Even when we have the time and space, it's not necessarily how you want to be functioning. These are quick tips to get you out of a mood so that you can continue your day. But I'm also not suggesting you ignore your feelings or just keep putting band-aids on a problem. There are other techniques to properly deal with the underlying nature and emotions that bring you into a mood because maybe some examples aren't even why you're in the mood, and you don't know why. You don't know what's causing you to be in a mood. That's okay, too. That happens. But sometimes, we have responsibilities and things we must do, and we don't have the privilege of time and space. Try out these three techniques. Let me know which one works best for you. They're the things that I like to do that move me out of a mood, at least temporarily. Quick tip #1: Give your feelings some space If you have just had something happen or feel like you're in a mood, give yourself a certain amount of time to be in that mood. It might be 15 minutes or an hour, but give your feelings space. What we definitely don't want to do is suppress our feelings and completely ignore them. If you're in a meeting and someone said something upsetting, or you're in the middle of a soccer game and you're frustrated, take that time. Maybe you excuse yourself during an office meeting and go into the bathroom for a few minutes to give yourself some space. I've done this on the soccer field before. I've asked for a sub just to get off the field because mentally, I'm in a mood, or someone ticked me off, or we've just had something, and I just can't perform at my best level at that moment, so I need some space. I don't come off and then talk with everyone. I come off, and I'm in my zone for a moment to just be able to deal with what's there. Giving feelings space could also mean for you…
We had a frustrating soccer game recently, and I re-injured my hamstring. It wasn't fully healed, and I did something that hurt it again. I was completely frustrated, so I called my husband before driving home and said, “Hey, heads up. We had a bad game. I'm injured. This is why the game was bad. This is how I got injured. When I get home, I don't want to talk about it anymore.” But that gave me the time to go home in the car, to have my own space with the feelings, and to allow them to move around and for me to move through them. We often have unwanted emotions. It’s ok. They're telling us something, and we just need to listen to them to be able to move through them. If we try to push them down, they’ll get bigger and worse. Quick Tip #2: Get moving The second tip is to get moving and, ideally, enjoy nature. Sometimes, when I'm frustrated by my day or can't focus anymore, I'll just say, “Diane, go for a walk.” My favourite place to go for a walk is in the forest. Walking in the forest calms me. Moving my body helps release endorphins and gets me in that feel-good place again. Now, I'm not always feeling 100% afterward, but at least it pulls me out of the mood slightly. Getting a little bit of that blood flow going really helps. In those moments, I make sure not to listen to a podcast. Music is okay as long as it's keeping me in the space, usually Christian music because I know it's going to be positive, and it's not going to be anything too heavy or with lyrics that will jar me. Maybe you're in a space where you can't do these things. Even in a building on a rainy day, you could go and walk stairs. I don't mean run stairs. I mean, walk stairs. You can even go and walk the floors. You could walk the parking lot, just getting your body moving. If you only have a few minutes, and you are physically able, maybe it's 10 jumping jacks. Just something to get your body going and to move you out of your head.  You need a mood booster. Many people turn to donuts, cookies, alcohol, or caffeine drinks, but that isn't always the best choice in the long run. If you can get your body moving, it's going to help to pull your brain away from the moment and allow you to move physically from the negative mood that you were stuck in. Quick Tip #3: To do something you enjoy Something you enjoy could be reading, coloring, painting, listening or dancing to music, talking with a friend, or going to a gallery. The list goes on and on. But it's doing something you enjoy and not completely numbing your mind. This is not watching TV. It might be watching comedy because you want to laugh. But it's not scrolling aimlessly through social media. Have some intention about it. Is there something specific that you enjoy about social media or about TV? Then maybe that could be a good fit for you. Maybe you have a favourite show, comedy, or something that just makes you feel good. This is not binge-watching.  This isn't about losing yourself in it. These are intentional activities that boost your mood. You could bake, cook, or sew. There are so many hobbies out there.
If you had a day off, what would you do with your time? You would not go and clean your house unless you really enjoy cleaning it. Hey, who am I to judge? Doing something you enjoy will naturally boost your mood and help you feel better. Even if you're like, “I don't have time. I have a business meeting, I have to get back to it,” could you have a phone call with a friend for a few minutes? Can you watch one positive video? Can you do one small thing that will help improve your mood? I know you can do it. Wrapping Up These are the three quick tips to get you out of a mood. Give your feelings space, getting you moving, preferably enjoying nature, and doing something you enjoy. If you have something that is a bigger mood, a long-lasting depression, anxiety or such, these tips are only going to give you brief relief. They are not going to get to the heart of what's going on with you. I do encourage you to get support, get a counselor, talk to your health care providers, have a coach, have something in place to bring you consistently up. Then you can tap into these quick tips to get you out of a mood because you're already at a higher baseline. These tips are things I do when I've just had a rough time and especially before my family gets home. These are the things I try to do so that my family gets the better version of me, not the one that's going to take them down. They'll get the wife, and mother that has the opportunity to show up as they need me to be. Taking that time is important. Sometimes, I'll say to my hubby, “I just need to go for a walk. I need some space.” Going for a walk in nature actually checks off all of these tips: it gives my feelings some space, gets me moving, and I really enjoy being in the forest. If you want to discuss this further and get some coaching support, you can email me at [email protected] or reach out to me on any of the platforms where I am. Comment below with some other quick tips to get out of a mood! Read my other blogs: 1. 3 Ways You’ll Get Left Behind by NOT Being an Author 2. How to Boost Your Confidence 3. Steal My Strategy for Delegating In this blog, I'm going to talk about the step you're missing on the way to achieving the success you want. It's funny because it's the final step, and it's the overlooked step. A lot of times in life, we have so many things we want to achieve in so many different areas of life. Yet, do you know what we forget? We forget the part that's the most fun, the part that's actually the most crucial to capturing the learning, locking in the feeling and building our confidence. What is it? It’s celebrating and making a big deal out of an achievement. I'm going to give you an example that kind of sparked this conversation for us today.  My daughter’s baseball game My daughter plays baseball. Will she one day play professionally? Will she get all expenses paid scholarship for university? That’s not the goal. It’s about having fun and getting the benefits of playing organized sports. But she's not going to be the MVP of every game. She's in it because she's having fun. She's got friends there. She is pushing herself athletically. She's getting all the benefit. We feel like she's already won in that regard. But one game, recently, she caught a hit that was above her head. If you can imagine in baseball, even if you haven't played, you know that when someone catches the ball, and when it's straight hit from the batter, and they catch it, the player is automatically out. It was a pretty big hit. It was going to go into the outfield, and she put up her glove, she caught it. Yay, win number one! But then, she was standing between second and third, keeping it super simple for my non-baseball friends here, so the runner from second was going to third. She caught the ball, brought it down into her glove, and tagged the runner from second to third causing them to be out as well. It was a double play by her, solely her. This is a pretty big deal, especially at her level. Double plays don't happen very often. If they do, they're in a combination of different players, one passing to another, throwing to another. For one person to get a double play, it doesn't happen very often. There's not as much play when you're 12 years old and playing in the under thirteen's. But we wanted to make a big deal out of this. At the end of the game, I said to her, “Wow, that was an amazing double play. We need to celebrate.” She's like, “Oooh, what's that mean?” I said, “Well, we’ll celebrate! You can get something from the concession stand. We could get a McFlurry from McDonald's, or we could go get whatever you wanted at Dairy Queen.” She said, “Oh, can I get a blizzard?” “Of course, family blizzards”. We as a family after the game went to have blizzards in her honor. You may think, “Oh, no big deal. She didn't win the championship. She wasn't MVP. But for us, it was important for us to make that into a big deal – a celebration.  You might be judging, “Well, that's not very healthy to be giving ice cream.” Whatever. We wanted to mark this special occasion and have her be the center of our attention for this moment based on this extraordinary performance – and ice cream is special for kids. Yes, we talk about committing to the team and playing well and doing your best and all that. But that was a special moment. When I think back, I remember the times when others celebrated me, and I was celebrated for what I did. My hope is this is something that sticks in her memory. You know what the fun thing was? She started hitting better the next game. She started being more confident as a player in the next game. Since then, she has become a higher-level player. Other people are noticing her confidence in the field and her ability. She's caught more balls. Now instead of this surprised face that she did on that double play, she's loving it. She's really embracing this kind of new level of success for her – and I see the celebration made a huge difference. Time to ask yourself It made me think, how often do you make a big deal about yourself or allow others to make a big deal for you out of common everyday occurrences?
 Now every time it doesn't have to be “Hey, family, we're going for blizzards.” But could it be, “Ah, that's amazing. I'm going to go sit in the forest or I'm going to go walk on the beach because that's what I love to do.” Celebrating Boosts Your Confidence Do you actually celebrate? Because doing that action of celebrating will give you exactly what it gave my daughter. It will boost your confidence because you are being honoured for something good you did or for being able to get over a hard time. Your confidence and belief in yourself will go up, and that's huge. Also, your self-efficacy, the belief that you can do hard things or that you can apply yourself to different situations, will go up. What I've seen with clients is the ability to transfer achievements and skills. Your self-efficacy transfers over to you believing you can do things in other areas of life. I believe the confidence my daughter gained by being honoured for that achievement is going to carry over to other areas of her life as well, which is so exciting. Think of what can happen for you if you were to also do that. The next time you're doubting yourself, you'll be reminded of how it felt to be in that moment when you were celebrated. Your self-esteem, in general, will increase as well. The way you view yourself as a winner, or as an achiever, or as someone who can do good things, whatever you want to call it. That's going to help you when you're in the valley of another goal, the hard part of another achievement, or in another area of life, that feels hard. That's going to help you not get stuck because you're going to say, “I can do this. I can get through this.” You're going to be able to look over the waves, look past the storm, to the place where you say, “I'm going to get there. I've done this before, not in the same area of life or situation. But I've been through hard things. I can do this.” Celebrate your success Unfortunately, people don't celebrate their successes. They don't acknowledge any milestones or achievements, and they just barrel past to the next goal. I'll tell you, you're missing this crucial step. Celebrating is such a crucial step. That's why we have a launch party every time we do a collaborative book. Now, the first time we had a launch party, both in British Columbia and in Ontario, because the majority of the authors were there, and then with COVID, we started to do virtual book launch parties. The reason why we continue to do virtual is because our authors are from all over the place. It makes more sense because we can't bring everyone together and I want everyone to be celebrated by having a virtual party, not just a book launch, but a party! (Sidenote: Doors are open for authors for Leadership Secrets, the fourth book in the Dynamic Women Secret series.) What I found with the launch parties is that is when people actually felt like an author. That's when they stepped into that place of, “Whoa, I actually did this. I wrote something, and I put out a book.” Even if they're not the ones who published the book, and they didn’t layout the book, or edit it, and all that stuff because we do all that: they felt so great as an author. They got to feel like authors, and that exact moment they held the book was super powerful. But the moment they were honoured at a party, that's when they really got to step into being the author. If you want to feel that next level of success, that additional title, that credibility, that expert status, you need to celebrate that moment. The holding of the book was one moment for people to celebrate, but the next was publicly being honoured.  For you, what I hope is that you look at the moments where you've done well and write down what you learned. Ask yourself these questions:
You can use my Dynamic Year Journal. It prompts you every week to record your achievements and lessons learned, as well as a bunch of other things that will help you have the most dynamic year. But this is crucial. Celebrating is crucial for you to move forward faster. I've mentioned confidence, self-efficacy, self-esteem, and the ability to persevere to the next goal, but also to achieve more faster because in that celebration piece, when you claim that title, you claim what you have accomplished, and you move yourself to that next level. This is crucial. It is crucial for your growth and for you to reach more goals to maximize the time that you do have. I'd love for you to be part of the next book. We will celebrate you and honour you with a book launch party, and we will have a lot of fun in the process. This week, look at how you can celebrate something you've achieved in any area of life. Read my other blogs: The Signs of Being an Imposter and Strategies to Prevent Yourself from Feeling like a Fraud.6/19/2024 In my previous blog, I shared the six common factors that can cause you to feel like a fraud. As promised, today, I’ll share the common signs of being an imposter and the strategies you can use to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud.  Common signs of being an impostor If you're not sure if you are feeling like a fraud, then let's look at some common signs of being an impostor. 1.) Overwork You may overworked and be doing it on purpose. You take on more work to compensate for feeling inadequate. 2.) Attributing success to luck Do you attribute your success to luck rather than skill? You find yourself saying, “No, I just got lucky. Right place. Right time. Great team.” You don't actually just receive acknowledgment. Do you give your success to others? 3.) Fear of being found out Do you have a fear of being found out? For example, that people will find out that it's your first time writing a report or taking on a big client? Or you're waiting for that email where the client will say. “Actually, no, I don't want to work with you anymore” because you feel like that's coming. These are some signs that maybe you are feeling like a fraud. What I’ve seen When I put out the Dynamic Women Success Secrets book with 52 other authors, it was fascinating because a lot of the authors didn't want to promote the book. I asked, “Why not? This is a big accomplishment.” I didn’t get a clear answer. When it came to the party, not only were many of the authors not inviting their family, friends, network, clients—they weren't even going to show up themselves. That was shocking for me because I was thinking, “This is a major accomplishment. You need to be there. We want to celebrate you and have you autograph the books.” Eventually, I learned from some of the authors that they didn't feel like real authors for many reasons.
In your life, maybe in some place, you feel like a fraud. Maybe you're hiding things. Maybe your career isn’t what you want it to be. Maybe your marriage isn't that great, and you're hiding that because there's no right place for you to share it. That's okay. I encourage you, though, to go find somewhere where you can share about these. With my coaches and the ones who support me in a really deep way, I joke with them and say, “I think I just pay you to hear me cry.” Because when I go to them, I bring my mess. I bring the rawness. I bring the pieces that are the hardest for me to handle so that I can be magnificent in the world. I'm not going to divulge every single little thing that I'm struggling with. But that helps me to be able to be real with you about things I'm going through. If you feel like a fraud and are not being real about how you feel, please make sure you have someone in your life who can support you. Strategies to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud. I'm going to discuss some strategies for getting over feeling like a fraud and some real solutions so you can start stepping into the confidence of being in that position. Here are the three main things: Strategy #1: Change your mindset. Anytime you have these negative beliefs, limiting beliefs, saboteurs that come up, you need to challenge what they're saying to you. For example, if these authors’ saboteurs said, “You're not really an author,” then challenge that. “Am I really an author? Yeah, my book is on Amazon. I have a book in my hand. I'm autographing the book. My name is in the book. I am an author.” Challenge the negative thoughts. If you think you didn't write something worth reading, ask someone. “What do you think about what I wrote?” Ask me, “Diane, why did you put me in the book? What did you think about my piece?” Get that feedback so you can overcome those negative thoughts. Practice some self-compassion Treat yourself with some kindness. Be like, “Okay, I feel a little bit off here. I feel like I maybe don't belong here.” I've had those thoughts, maybe being at a party where everyone is wearing all the top brands and talking about facelifts or botox or whatever. I'm like, “Well, I definitely don't fit in here. I've got some work to do, or things to buy before I can.” Then I just gave myself some kindness and understanding that I am who I am. I don't have to be like everyone else. Being myself, I can speak freely as myself and I don't need to pretend that I'm anything else. Celebrate your achievements. I talked about this a lot, especially in the Dynamic Year program and the Dynamic Year journal, because by writing down every week all your achievements and positive feedback that you get from others in that journal, you're going to start to lock it in your brain that you're pretty amazing. There are all these reasons why you’re amazing. Instead, a lot of times we're looking at finding all the negative reasons why we're not that amazing. But if you have all of these really great reasons why you're great and have accomplished, you start to build that confidence. Strategy 2: Seeking some support. I've already kind of mentioned this a bit. Have people in your life where you can be real, and you don't have to feel like a fraud. You have friends, obviously, but then make sure you have some professional friends if you're in a career, make sure you have mentors at work, who you can get support from, who can help you when you do feel like a fraud. For example, you say, “I have to give this presentation. I've never given this type of presentation. I've never worked with this high-end client type before. Can you help me? Can you look things over? Can you give me feedback?”  Then, have a coach or someone who can help you through these feelings. They will be able to call out your brilliance, give you valuable perspectives that you can use, and they’ll reassure you. I have people and coaches in my life whom I can reach out to and say, “Tell me why I'm awesome. Tell me I can do this.” I get in those places where I think that the first step didn't go very well, so this next thing won't either. You need people to cheer you on. If you don't believe in yourself, hire people who do. That's going to really make it easier. Plus, when you're part of a group, or you have a coach who can support you, they can also give you strategies. They can also be good brainstorming partners. They can also share their experience of how they did things, and even how they were worried about something. Strategy 3: Be practical Potentially, you're not going to be on the New York Times bestseller list with your very first book. The very first video you make, you're not going to get a Grammy for it. You're not going to go viral on your first video. Some people will, but most people won’t.  Set realistic expectations for yourself because it's not going to all be perfect. You're not going to be mastering something the very first time. Just focus on continuous learning one step after another.
If you have a disappointment, grab the learning from it and just grow from it. Anytime you have to face challenges, it's not a challenge, because you're a fraud. It's a challenge because you haven't experienced it yet. You haven't learned it yet. You can focus on this being a moment of, “Oh my gosh, they're going to find me out” or “Oh, wow, this is a cool opportunity for me to improve, for this to make me more competent and be able to master it.” Wrapping Up I just want you to remember that so many people experience feeling like a fraud or a fake. It's okay to feel this way. It's really normal to feel this way. Many times, every time I level up and get into a bigger pond and around bigger players, I feel like a fraud wondering, “Do I really fit in here? Am I really a high-income earner?” In the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) community, “Am I really someone who is a VIP level and gets to attend this event? Am I really this person?” Don't let that stop you from recognizing your true worth and value in the world. You're not alone. Many people have felt this in many parts of their lives, even at the top success levels, you're going to feel it. Don't think you've got to outgrow it. You're going to keep feeling it. You just need to put the tactics into place so that it doesn’t stop you. The key is to not let it define you. Yes, it's maybe a feeling of “Oh, I feel like a fraud.” You feel like a fraud, but you are not a fraud. If you're saying, “I'm a doctor,” and you're not really a doctor, then okay, yes, you're a fraud. If you say you're a coach, but you didn't take any training to be a coach, then you're a fraud. As long as you are authentically doing what you say you're doing, then that's fine. I encourage you to share. I would love to hear how you have felt like a fraud and where in your life. If you have other coping strategies, I'd love to know them as well. The Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook is a really great place where we can support each other. You're going to be able to share those thoughts there. Share in the group how this blog has impacted you. And if it did, feel free to share this blog with someone who might benefit from it. I also wanted to make sure you heard that we're starting to put together the next collaborative book, Dynamic Women Leadership Secrets book. We are doing a call for collaborative authors right now. If you'd like to learn more about that, join our free info session on June 26. Save your spot here. If you feel like a fraud about being an author or writing a book, this is a great opportunity for you. Don't feel like a fraud. Put some of my strategies into place and stay dynamic! Read my other blogs: Have you ever felt like a fraud, a fake, or an imposter? In this blog, I’ll share the 6 common factors that cause you to feel like one. In my next blog, I will share the common signs of being an imposter and the things you can do to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud  Why you should care Well, because we are dynamic women, feeling like a fraud, a fake, or an imposter will stop you from reaching your goals. I want you to get rid of that nagging feeling of “I'm not really as competent as others perceive me to be.” Now, you may use the words “impostor syndrome.” It’s similar, but I'm going to talk a little bit more about feeling like a fraud. Do you feel like a fraud? Feeling like a fraud is holding us back. It's stopping us from achieving what we want. We shouldn't have to feel this way. I have personally struggled with feeling this way at different points in my career, life, as an athlete, and as a first-time mom. I know how isolating it can be to feel this way. I want to help you to stop feeling this way by understanding it better. As I said, you feel this way because you think you are not as competent as how other people see you, perceive you and view you. Maybe you feel you shouldn’t be on the pedestal that they put you on. This happens even though you've probably had accomplishments, experiences, or been chosen to be in that position. The funny thing is, that studies say that about 70% of people will experience this feeling at some point in their lives. Even high achievers, famous people or celebrities, and people who have won awards can feel like this. The 6 factors that can cause this to happen I’ll start with 3 Internal Factors:
You already have extremely high standards that you've either set for yourself, or other people have set for you. Maybe growing up, a parent, a coach, or a teacher gave high standards for you, so you feel like a failure when you're not absolutely perfect all the time. I can remember in high school, getting excellent grades, and always handed everything in. Somehow, I missed a homework assignment, so on my lunch break I was in the library trying to quickly get it done, knowing, I was not going to be able to get it completely finished perfectly. I started crying because I was like, “I'm going to lose a percentage because of this”. In the big scheme of things, it didn't matter, but at the time, perfectionism really hit me hard. 2. Fear of failure Another thing that could be making you feel like a fraud is a fear of failure. If you feel like, “I don't deserve the successes I've had,” you may go on to say, “I'm not going to be able to have these great results.” Being worried about not succeeding will cause you to lose confidence.  You may feel that your previous good results came from luck or from other people's support rather than your own abilities. Low self-esteem or self-efficacy can also really impact how you feel and cause you to feel like a fraud. 3. Low self-esteem When you have low self-esteem, it can cause you to self-doubt to not believe that you're good enough. Brené Brown has researched that the number one limiting belief is “I'm not good enough”, even though you might have all the evidence to prove differently. I see this a lot in my programs as the #1 limiting belief. Those are some of the internal factors that could cause you to feel this way. Let's look at some external factors. 1. Society’s pressures and expectations of you What about society's pressures and expectations of you? How many times have you judged a mom for being on her phone on the playground? I'm sure you have, or kids that are on screens while they're at dinner.  There are expectations of how we need to be in every single role in our lives, and if we don't meet those expectations, then we're not amazing, and we'll feel like frauds. The problem is everyone’s situation is different, and we wear so many hats that we can’t meet every expectation for every role.
2. Comparing ourselves to others Have you ever been scrolling, especially doom-scrolling on social media, and you see the perfect family in matching outfits? You see the amazing business owners with awesome successes happening in the business and all the money they're making? There's so much marketing BS out there about how much people are making and pretending that “Things just happened.” Successes don't just happen—they are made with strategy and work. I can remember in one of the presentations I do, I share a photo of my family. Everyone thinks, “Wow, such a perfect family.” The truth I always tell everyone is that it’s three photos that were digitally edited together to make sure that everyone was looking at the camera and smiling. There you go, I think I was the only original face and everyone else's was added in. When we compare ourselves to others, we feel like frauds because we don't know their backstory or everything else that's happened to help them get there. 3. Super competitive and unsupportive culture The last one is being part of a super competitive and/or unsupportive culture. This could be in your business network or workplace, where people point out the things you're doing wrong and make you feel inadequate. When others often tell you about your mistakes and shortcomings, it’s hard to see the accomplishments, growth, and skills you have. I wish we could all work in places where others are truly happy for your success rather than feeling the need to compete or cut you down. Wrapping Up Those are six factors that could be making you feel like a fraud. In my next blog, I will share the common signs of being an imposter and the things you can do to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud. Plus, if you’re feeling like a fraud and think that you can’t be an author, then I’d love you to join my free webinar on June 18th where I’ll share with you all about the world of co-writing. It will explore your audience, establish your authority, and you’ll be able to leave a legacy. Save your spot here. Read my other blogs: 1. 3 Main Things to Look for in Collaborative Book Opportunities 2. What Are You Waiting For 3. 3 Ways You’ll Get Left Behind by NOT Being an Author Are you feeling like you have so much to do? In this blog, I’m going to share my strategy for delegating. I hope you steal it. I hope you use it. I hope you've stopped doing everything yourself. Recently, on my Instagram and Facebook stories, I talked about how we keep doing too much in our businesses. I'm speaking to you, the high-achieving, successful, A-type, driven woman who has a lot going on and who wants to achieve a lot. We're doing way too much in our businesses. What we need to do is get really good at delegating, give ourselves permission to release control, and bring someone on to help us out.  If you didn't know yet, I actually have two main virtual assistants, Kristine and Karissa. They're absolutely amazing. I've been working with them for over three years. I'm so excited I get to meet them in September. I'm going to the Philippines when I'm over in Bali for the Global Speakers Summit, as well as maybe popping into Japan. (If you're in any of those places, let me know and let me know what I should see.) Anyway, let's go to the strategy. Let me share first what I see people doing. Then I'm going to share my 6P Process of Delegating. I also shared that in my stories and I was getting a lot of DMs about…
I discuss this with my clients in the Virtual Assistant Made Easy Program. As a side note, we have three spots open right now for people to come on and be matched with one of my virtual assistants. I have a team of 14. If you're interested in that, send me a message at [email protected]. Doors are closing this Friday, June 7, at 11:59 p.m. PDT. Message me, and we'll have a one-on-one chat about what you need and whether this is a good solution for you. What I see people do For a long time, I have heard people ask, “What should I delegate? Should I delegate my email? Maybe they can make some videos for me. What else should I delegate? I don't know. Maybe they can do some research or some cold calling.” They throw some tasks at their assistant, VA, contracted person, or whoever it may be. They give tasks that aren't actually what they need to be done to reach their goals. Not only that, but they don't already have a process or a standard operating procedure (SOP) for it. They're trying to reinvent the wheel, giving them some tasks to do, which aren't actually moving them forward in their business. I want to give you my 6 “P” Process of Delegating. I'm going to talk through each piece. I often share this when I'm doing a session about working with a virtual assistant in the VA Made Easy Program, and so if you're a client of mine, you have access to this as well. The 6 “P” Process of Delegating  First P: Pause When should you pause? If you're starting to delegate, then you want to “pause” in the beginning. If you have already been delegating, you can also use this step of pausing anytime you get overwhelmed or too busy. Then, every quarter, you should plan to pause. Definitely do this at the start of a new year and any time anything has changed, or you bring on someone new. Why do we hit the pause button? Well, because we want to have that time to get a bird's eye view of how things are going, so we’re not scrambling, and so we can just take time to ask, “Is this what I should be doing right now?” You want to be thinking about that, right? You want to ask yourself,
These are some really great questions to answer. Then, after we pause, we plan. Second P: Plan Ask yourself:
The first piece is pause in order to just take a breath and to have clarity and time to figure out what the plan is. In the planning, then you look at, “What am I needing to do in order to reach my goals that I actually want to achieve?” not just things that you think you have to do. From there, you can then start to pass off work. Third P: Pass Off Ideally, you can pass off to someone on your team like a virtual assistant who. The benefit is they already know about your business and about you. There's less of a learning curve when you already have someone on your team. It's much easier to pass off tasks because you don't have to go find someone to do it. You already have someone there. You can pass off daily, weekly, monthly tasks and even better full systems! If you don't have someone already, we can have a conversation because I can match you with a virtual assistant who I've already vetted, hired, trained in many tasks, and who was already working with my CEOs. But once you pass off, the next P is “Protect”. Fourth P: Protect What are we protecting? Our time. We just cleared stuff off of our plate by passing it off to someone else. We want to protect our time. Not only that, but we want to make sure we're saying yes to things that will move our business forward and no to the things that are wrong for us and wrong for our business. The wrong tasks are other people's agendas, ones that take us away from what we already want to be achieving. It also doesn't mean that you go and organize your closet. Focus on what you need to use the time for the most. For example, if you need more clients, you go and do cash flow activities to bring on new clients etc.  If you need to increase sales of your products, you're putting energy into that. Maybe it's the marketing or the copywriting. You're going to be able to put energy into the things that you need to do because your VA can take on tasks and take other “to dos” off your plate. One of my clients came to one of our monthly CEO calls. One of her wins was that she got three new clients the previous week. I said, “How'd you do that?” She said, “Well because my VA took on this one project, I was able to focus on following up with my leads.” Oh, my goodness, how amazing! She just followed up with leads and she got three clients. Imagine she'd been doing that earlier. How many more sales, recurring sales, or more clients could have happened? There may be a lot of leads who fell through the cracks because she wasn't on top of it. But now she gets to be because she is freed up because she protected her time to focus on the things that mattered most. Fifth P: Persist Now, why do you persist? Because I'll tell you, sometimes, when you pass things off, the results you get are not what you were looking for and it could be because you didn’t give good enough instructions. You'll learn from that. But you have to persist by giving them better instructions and by not saying, “Forget it, I'm going to do it myself.” Look again at your instructions. Make sure that you're giving feedback that will continuously help move your business forward. For example, don't just say, “I don't like that.” Give the feedback of “Why?” What's going on with it? What changes need to be made? So that they not only learn for this task, this project, this thing you're passing off, but they learn in general about how you want things done. If you said, “On this landing page, we always need a hook at the top. A question or something to draw in the person that is looking at this.” Now they know every landing page needs a hook. They know that because you've just taught them the what and why rather than just saying, “Put a question at the top.” We know what it's supposed to be. Now, they can apply that to every future task. Trust me, it gets easier. It gets so much easier when your virtual assistant can start thinking, “What does my client want? What are they looking for?” One of the most amazing parts with my team is watching how they have learned and how they call me out sometimes. When I say, “What about this?” They're like, “Hey, remember, we want to do this?” I'm like, “Right, right.” That persistence that you'll have will make things run so much smoother. Speaking of when thing run smoother, that gets into number six. Sixth P: Push Number six is you get to push on the gas pedal. This means that if your VA does a task well, then have them do it more. If they've done a bunch of social media posts for you, and you think, “Yes, you've got my brand. You've got the aesthetic. I like what you're doing with the quotes. You're learning how to pull them properly.” Push on the pedal. Have them do that more or weekly or create a system around it.  You don't have to throw 10 or 100 new tasks at them now; just have them do more of the same. If they did five good posts, have them do 25 posts, 50 posts, 500 posts, and continue to do it to build that skill. Then more time and space will be freed up for you while you enjoy the results of their work. Why it’s a cycle That’s my 6 “P” Process of delegating. Then the reason why it goes back to pausing again is because things will get busy again. Now, why? Because…
Therefore, you need to pass off more. You need to give more of your tasks. When I have this feeling, I know I have to pass off more things. The great thing is because your VA and you have also persisted, they're getting faster and more efficient at their tasks. We can maximize their time and give them more because…
We can give them more tasks without having to add more hours a lot of the time. We get back to that Pause and we say,
We look at the plan again. Then we pass off more. We protect our time. We persist because these are new items we’re delegating. You can even pass off decision-making! The last time I paused, I realized I needed to pass off more decision-making to Kristine and Karissa. Since then, I’ve seen how they're doing an incredible job on this. But we had to persist a bit because decision-making is so dependent on the situation, and now I'm pushing on the pedal in a lot of cases. One of them just happened today. I said, “Hey, should we do this?” I got a response, “No, I don't think we should do this for XYZ reason.” It was amazing. I was like, “Yes, I agree.” In this 6 “P” process of delegating, I promise you'll become more efficient at delegating. You'll be able to maximize your team's time. You'll be able to open up more of your own time to be inspired, create, and do the things that have you in your zone of genius, your core competencies, and your sweet spot. That resonance, that energy will come up. As I said, we have three spots for Virtual Assistant Made Easy. You can book a call with me to learn more. In the Virtual Assistant Made Easy program, I help you figure out what to delegate, how to delegate, how to train, and how to have your VA create your SOPs for you because they're going to document your processes. You don't have to come into the program knowing what you want to delegate yet. I've got that covered. We even have a list of 229 tasks that you can delegate, as well as a PDF booklet that has the tasks you can delegate when you're busy, on holiday, or sick. So many of the tasks I have given to my VAs for the different aspects of my business - coaching, fee-paid speaking, women's community, running events, podcasting, YouTube, my social media, my collaborative books, my own books, my workshops, and the list goes on and on and on. Don't do it alone. Having someone on your team, as my clients have said, has been the best investment in themselves in and their business. It's probably a lot less than you thought it would be. Especially less than hiring someone local to work with you or a specialist. We hire general virtual assistants that can do a wide range of tasks. You don't even have to worry about the hiring process because I take care of that for you. Then I'm in the mix. I support both sides to have a long-lasting relationship. Because, that's what we want, right? We don't want these one off projects with people. We don't like it when people ghost us. We want someone as invested in our business as we are. True or true? Very true. I hope you'll steal my strategy of the 6 “P” process of delegating, and that you'll start bringing this in every quarter. A bonus to the Virtual Assistant Made Easy program is that every quarter, we have our very own strategic planning session where I ask you these questions. I help you to pause and then ask you what do you want to achieve in the next quarter. Then help you plan what are the goals are and therefore what can we pass off. If you want to be part of it, we have our next quarterly session at the end of June 2024. If you want to be in, you will be invited to that as well. P.S. I hope to see you over in the Dynamic Women Facebook Community. It is free to join. I'm going to be going live there a lot more. It's where I like to share a lot of my inside tips and tricks for having a business and a balanced life. Read my other blogs:
One of my friends and clients, Tanya Steele, asked me, “I know all of your guests have been extraordinary. I've listened to many of the podcasts. But if you could pick one of your favourites, I know they're all spectacular, but one of your favourite moments with one of your guests. Who was that guest and what was that really great memory for you?”
Sometimes, I've been caught off guard, and I've actually become very emotional with people's stories or what they're sharing, or I've heard myself in what they're sharing. It was really hard to stay professional and not be like, “Oh my, I’m crying because of what you said”. That's the one side and the other is the tips where I learn. As hosts, it's our job to pull the information out of the guest. Sometimes we ask questions that we already know the answer to because we either train it or we just know, or we've read books or we've worked with this person, but we still ask those questions because our listener needs to have the privilege of the answers to those questions as well. Sometimes, I already know because I've done a pre-talk with them as well. But when I can ask something where I learned something completely new, where I'm like, “Whoa, I never thought of that?” Those are the ones I love the most because I get something really big out of it. What I learned in running my podcast
We have a member from the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) community, David Gouthro, who just started a podcast. He just wants to have great conversations with cool people to get different perspectives. That's wonderful. That's a passion project. But if you're doing this as part of your business, you need to have a strategy for why you're doing it. That could be…
I’ll share more, my two virtual assistants Karissa and Kristine, repurpose the video that I'm doing into the podcast, onto my YouTube, into my newsletter, onto my social, into my blog, and then into my email. It goes across the whole board. But you really have to know, “Why am I doing this?” and then build it based on that. Really, that's the secret to a good podcast. The other is making it something that just naturally fits into your life or your business. Maybe you need to do it every single week. Maybe you prefer to batch them, like do four at a time. It's much easier, and you don't have to be thinking about it every week. Doing whatever it takes to be able to have it be manageable because the worst thing is to start a podcast, do some episodes and then your listeners are hooked and then they go,
The listener is going to go find a different podcast and you could lose them. Consistency is crucial, and for you, if it's once a week, great. If it's every day, good luck. I'm sure you have a plan for that. Tanya understands all this, as she is also a podcast host for her podcast, Safety Debris. She said that she records her episodes in batches. They film five to six episodes in one day, and then they release them once every three to four weeks. They’ve been doing it for two and a half years. “We started just in the middle of COVID and I’ve got a cohost Richard Dulong, who's also a CAPS member, and we just have a lot of fun with our guests just like you do. Thanks, Diane. Really, I just wanted to be you when I grew up, so I'm just trying to follow in your footsteps because you're awesome.” One of the hardest things in doing a podcast One of the hardest things about doing the podcast is bringing on people who take a position or stance on a topic that is opposite to me or that I agree with, but I don’t feel I can publicly take that stance. Having the podcast, I'm very careful about who I bring on. I interview guests every other episode or for a while, I've just been doing it all myself, but I'm always cautious about, “Is this person's values, beliefs, morals in alignment with mine?” I care about my listeners, and I don't want them hearing something that's not in alignment or worse, is disrespectful. So that's been one of the hardest parts for me is if the guest is going to say or do something that isn't in alignment, “What am I going to do in the moment?”  I'm not looking to be confrontational. I think that's been one of the hardest pieces about the podcast, is vetting people properly. I also don't want them to be all sales like, “Here's this product I have, and here's another product, and here's why you should buy for me”. That's not fun. And I think that's why I like the vulnerability story pieces more. Secret to a Good Podcast What I'd like to say is that over the past five years, I think having good topics makes a good podcast. Sometimes my titles are a little bit trickier like, “Sometimes I feel alone”. That title might have drawn you in because you're like, “What? Diane feels alone?” That's true that I do, but I'm also speaking for others. Another is “The Best and Worst Gifts My Mom Ever Gave Me.” My husband, who doesn't listen to the podcast, said to me, “Okay, I haven't listened to it. But just tell me what are the best and worst gifts your mom has ever given you?” I had to tell him because he thought it was like an actual item rather than the gift of belief in me. It's important to have keyword-driven titles for your episodes. What are your main people typing into search engines? This isn't to trick or trap them. This is to give them what they're looking for. Don't be super clever with your titles where they don’t know what you’re really talking about. Give them the things that they're actually looking for. As I said before, consistency is key. Batch your episodes if you need to be consistent. What I've also learned, which is kind of interesting, is doing my own episodes is actually less work. It's less work to have just me do it to record it than organizing a guest and the back and forth between my guests and Kristine, who does a great job of that. I often just choose to do my own episodes. But I also know the value of having guests, not just for my listeners to have another perspective, but also in a strategic way. They're now opening my podcast up to more listeners. It is a good thing. It's a win-win. My intention in doing the podcast is to always be able to reach and serve my audience. Then over the years, I've realized it's also a content machine, and it’s how I prefer to create my content. I don't love writing, so it's much easier for me to speak into the podcast, and then to edit that into the blog, which is way easier than when I used to write the blog and then try to do the podcast from that. It was less from the heart and more from my analytical brain. Then I guess the last piece is to figure out what your ideal audience wants to know and it's kind of sad because I don't always know what you guys want because I don't hear from you. Email me at [email protected] to let me know or if you don’t know what you want to hear about, then tell me what you have heard that you love and want more of or your goals/obstacles, and I’ll come up with something to support you and your success. Whatever it is, I'm open to hearing it. The last thing I'll say to anyone wanting to do a podcast, who has a podcast, who's written books, who's put anything out there, even social media posts, LinkedIn articles, whatever it may be, you don't always know that people are consuming your content. I can remember when I stopped my weekly newsletter for a little bit. I had someone reach out to me and say, “Hey, did I get off your list somehow? I'm not getting it.” I didn't even know that person was reading them. Likewise, I bump into people at events or when I’m on stages and people will say, “I loved your recent podcast.” But they never comment! For those of you who are actually commenting, writing reviews, giving me feedback that you love the episodes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For those of you who haven't yet, why not? Tell me what you like. It helps to spur me on to do more of that. For those of you out there who have put stuff out and you're just feeling a little frustrated, because you're not getting that feedback, there is a chance that your people are listening. They're just so busy they haven't replied or they didn't think you needed it. So keep it up! Read my other blogs:
In most of my blogs, my topics are very education-centered or education-driven. There are how-tos. Sometimes, I share stories. Sometimes, they get real, raw, and vulnerable. This is going to be one of those.  Who is saying “Sometimes I feel alone” Where did this comment, “Sometimes I feel alone,” come from? Well, women have said this to me at events, when we're doing the hallway chats or the bathroom lineup talks. Or they come and see me after I've spoken on stage or done a breakout session. They come up to me, and we talk about it. Sometimes tears are shed. They say, “Sometimes I feel alone.” Clients have said this to me in coaching sessions, group sessions, or when they've come to Dynamic Women events. They've said, “Sometimes I feel alone. I come here, and now I don't.” I sometimes feel this, and it can be really strange for me to deal with and for people to even understand. The people who say this are often leading full, busy lives, with lots of people around them and lots of things happening. They have a lot of responsibility. They're strong leaders and high achievers. For me, I've got my soccer team, my friends, my business community, my family, my church community, my Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) community, and on and on. Why I say it sometimes How can we feel lonely when we have such full lives and so many people around us? Well, because we're strong, leaders, high achievers, and confident, oftentimes people think that…
A lot of times, in the roles that we play in the different organizations we're a part of or the teams we are in charge of, we are the ones that others look to, to lean on, to get support from. Often, I'll be in an educational setting where I am not the leader and it's not my material, I'm there as a student, but I see others struggling, where I understand something or where I'm feeling good about where I'm at in the program, I will lean in and support others. But what I find is I then take that role on, and then I don't get the support I need from whoever's leading it because they're also looking to support the people who are struggling more. This was always the case in school. I was always sat beside the struggling kid, the new kid, the ESL kid, the bullied kid. My job was twofold. One, to help them to be able to learn the material, maybe by sharing it in a different way or going a bit slower or using different words. Then the other piece is bringing them into the fold of the group. I have such a heart for bringing people in. The funny thing is it comes from my own feeling of not feeling included. You may think, “Diane, how are you not included?” or “You just have the confidence. You can work a room.” Well, I have to force that because it's not always easy. I find that strong, independent, high-achieving successful women don't have other people to lean on in the same way, and don't have the same support system. They are the ones who carry a lot of other people. I'm not saying other people are to blame. I'm just saying this is often the situation.  There are a lot of things that are going to come up for me in 2024 that I'm putting together right now for these women. Because I hear them say:
There is a need for this. This is what I'm putting together. For now, I'll just let you know, there are a couple of spots in the She’s Goaled 2.0 program. This is an amazing place where…
All with the aim to support you to achieve your own goals, not the goals of others, because everyone's on their own goal journey. Where you can achieve your own goals without the need to carry others. There are still a few spots. I'll keep those open so that we can have the greatest group possible. What you can do What now for you if you say that sometimes I feel alone, and you're in this category, this group of people that I'm talking about?
We don't see geese flying alone because nature isn't meant to be that way. You need the synergy of a group.  Find your group, find your people, find others who are just as strong as you, or stronger than you, who challenge you to be better, where you're not the biggest fish in the pond. 2. Get a leader or a mentor, a coach, or an advisor. Someone who you can learn from. A guru or whatever it is, who is ahead of you, or who you can put your full confidence in. There are a lot of people in my life that I pay to be part of my team, so different coaches and such. Sometimes they're just there to hear me cry. Sometimes they're there to remind me that I can do hard things. Sometimes they're there to tell me what the next step is when I don't have the clarity. 3. Add in some support structure. Not just some random people in your life, but an actual structure where you're part of a program or you agree to meet certain times to have that accountability or that check-in. Because that's where a lot of times the “I feel alone” comes from is that everyone thinks you're fine. Everyone thinks you're good. It's not that you're putting it on, or you're faking it, but you’re self-reliable, you’re independent, you’re capable, you’re successful. People don't feel like they need to baby you or check in on you. But feeling alone is a really sad, sad place to be because then you cocoon in. Being alone and feeling alone are different because you can feel alone in a massive work environment or with tons of family and friends around you. If this is your place, then seek some support as well. Make sure you have a coach, a counselor, or someone you can confide in. I often say to my clients, “Bring me your mess, so you can be magnificent in the world.” We're not meant to be perfect. We're not meant to have everything fall in line and be exactly how it needs to be. If you're feeling alone, then take that step to not feel alone. Even just telling someone else, “I feel alone”, and if I'm that person, great, email me, [email protected] or send me a message on social media. I don't ever want anyone to feel alone. It is a hard place to be, and you can't use your gifts in the best way and do what you were meant to be brought here on Earth to do if you're in that place. Don't feel alone anymore and do something about it. If you are one of these strong leaders, high achievers, independent, self-reliable women, make sure your name is on my radar because I'm putting together some really amazing projects. I'm putting together an invitation list for the women who feel this way who are wondering, “Where are my people? Where are the other strong women where I get to maybe show more vulnerability around or I don't have to carry others?” If you're curious about that or wanting to know more, please email me [email protected] to say, “Hey, I'm one of those people. I read your blog, ‘Sometimes I feel alone’, and I'm one of those high achievers and looking for my flock.” I'd be happy to share some cool new initiatives that I'm doing. Read my other blogs:
Some gifts stay with you forever—others, you wish you could forget. In this blog, I'm going to talk about the greatest gift my mother ever gave me and how I'm still using it today, as well as the worst gift she ever gave me and how I'm trying to keep pushing it away.  Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there! I also want to honor anyone where Mother's Day is really hard time, be it that…
I want to honor you today and these weeks because it can be super hard. I wrote this blog on Mother’s Day as I reflected on what made me who I am today. These gifts were given to me as a child, so I'll get into that as well. Now, let’s dive in. The best gift The best gift my mom ever gave me that I still use today is not a material thing. It's nothing that you can physically touch. But it's something that you can sense about someone. The gift that mom gave me was belief in me.  She always believes in me. When I was younger, she believed in me in sports, at school and when I was speaking. Basically, in so many different places. I'm going to talk about each one and how that played out. She believed in me in Sports In sports, she always said, “You can do it, Diane” and “Go Diane”. She's British, and she’d put up her two thumbs and say, “Way to be! Way to be!” I’d feel embarrassed, but she was always saying,
That belief pushed me in sports, and I ended up playing coed soccer at a young age with boys at a high level. Because she believed in me, I knew I could do it. She believed in me in School There were high expectations at school and also high levels of belief. She believed in me and helped me believe I could get As, be the president of the student council and do well on tests. Because of her, I was able to do really well again. She believed in me in Speaking Another area where she really believed in me was my speaking. I would do the little contests in my class and then go speak in front of the school. Then, I think it was the Kiwanis Club that would put on the city speaking contests. She always believed in me that I would excel. Then I was invited as a junior in high school to be the emcee for the graduation ceremony. All of this has led me to be able to excel in academics, whether it be when I was younger, or as an adult, to excel in sports, and to really push myself and to go for things that maybe I wouldn't have gone for, like trying out for the varsity teams and making it and then being on the OUA all-star team, and also with my speaking to push myself forward to be able to do it and be paid. Having this strong belief in me, helped me to believe in myself when I didn’t. I didn't believe in myself all the time. When I didn’t, I would say, “I don’t think I can do that. But mom thinks I can, so therefore I must be able to. I'm going to do it.” Throughout my whole life, I've said, “I can do that. I can do that. I can do that” even if I didn’t think I could because it came from my mom believing in me, and then I started to believe in myself, which is really amazing. As an adult, after a few career changes, eventually to where I am now in coaching and speaking, as you know, and many other things, I got the great opportunity to be flown in all expenses paid to my hometown of Brantford, Ontario. I live in North Vancouver, BC right now, so I was flown across Canada all expenses paid and to a fee-paid speaking engagement. It has come full circle because I remember being young and my mom flipping her tea towel over her shoulder, cocking her hip and saying, “Oh, Diane, if you get paid to speak one day, you're going to be a rich woman.” That makes me laugh because, again, at the time, I thought that was belief in me. I think she was just super frustrated that I wouldn't shut up. I tell my mom, “You should come to this speaking engagement, Mom. I'm speaking. Come. Come.” She says, “No, I can't.” I said, “Yes you can, it's a public event. You can and I've secured a ticket for you.” She said, “No, I can't come. I can't come.” I said, “Why? It's in town. I'll drive you. I've got a ticket for you. Come see me speak.” She said, “Oh, I couldn't do that. I'd be so nervous.” I said, “Mom, I'm going to do a great job.” She says, “I know you're going to do a great job. But I'd be so nervous for you.” I was like, “Why?” She goes, “Well, I don't know where you got any of these gifts from, nothing came from me or your father. I just never understood how you've done everything.” That was such an eye-opener. While I'm saying these are gifts my mother gave me, they're also gifts my father gave me. My late father who passed 3 years ago. Since this is Mother's Day, I'm focusing on the mom's side of things, because she is the one that drove me everywhere. Dad was working quite a bit and travelling to and from work. Mom was the one who had to drive me everywhere like a taxi driver for me. But anyway, it's amazing how, by her saying that, I realized the gift of her believing in me was a bit of a lie. She believed in me but didn't always fully believe I could do things because of her own insecurities, doubts, and feelings of not having those skills and talents, but she never let that come forward. It made me think what a different life I would have had if my mom actually said those fears that she said she had herself. If she said, “I believe you can do it. I just could never do it.” Well, if she had said that throughout my whole life, I might have been more nervous. It really shows me the power that adults have over children. Also, coaches have to their clients, or coaches to their players, or teachers to their students. Anytime someone looks up to you, there is a choice to have that full belief in them. I joke with people and say, “If you don't believe in yourself, hire someone who does.” That's why I have multiple coaches for different areas. I also have people on my personal board who will support me and be a fan. The worst gift Now, let's do the flip side of this because while the greatest gift my parents have ever given me was belief in me, the worst gift my mom ever gave me that I keep trying to give back is actually high performance, that expectation or belief in me that I could achieve at a high level. This gift she gave me is not originally bad—it’s gotten me really far. It's the fact that when that got turned up so high, by continuing to go for things and compete and such, it actually turned into perfectionism. Can you relate to that? This belief in high quality, high performance, doing well, straight A's, honor roll, and MVPs, wasn't drilled into me by her that I have to be perfect. She always said,
But I translated that into it having to be the best. I never got yelled at for not performing well. But I turned it into perfectionism. The way this has been transformed from something wonderful into something not so good is also what we have to really be careful about. I have to be careful with my children and with my clients. For me, it keeps showing up as perfectionism, and I have to keep pushing that away and just go back to high quality and do your best. Otherwise, perfectionism is so stunting of my performance. What I learnt What have I learnt about the giving of these gifts to others? Well, many people don't have self-belief. But it can be manufactured from other people, imparting it on you. You have the power that before someone goes on stage to say, “I know you're going to do well.” Because in their mind, they might think, “I'm not going to do well. I'm not going to do well. Wow, this person just told me they think that I'm going to do well or they know I'm going to do well. I guess it's true. I guess they're not a liar.”  Right before someone goes to do a musical performance, play a game, have a job interview or negotiation, have a difficult conversation, share your belief in that person.
Just share that with them. For the people in your life who you're around a lot, what if our goal was to continue to inspire, cheerleader, and believe in others? The world would be a different place. As I said, if you don't believe in yourself, hire someone who does or bring someone into your life who does because that can be the difference. Just having someone believe in you could be the one thing that helps you reach your goal of living your dreams. I know that sounds so big and grandiose, but I'm just extremely grateful for others’ belief in me. The flip side is if you didn't have someone believe in you, and you have someone instead cutting you down, it could have been its own gift, the worst gift that turned into a good gift. That was the fuel that said, “You know what, watch me, I'm going to do it. I'm going to prove you wrong.” But today, I hope that you take away the idea that believing in others is a good thing. Believing in others to a high standard is great, too. Set the bar high. Just make sure you check in on that person to make sure perfectionism isn't ruling them, stressing them out, causing them anxiety, or preventing them from going for what they want out of fear of not having the perfect result. Have the most wonderful Mother's day. If it is a hard time for you, just take some time to nurture yourself. That is my hope for you that you can find some solace in this time and some great friends who believe in you. And if you are looking for someone to believe in you… let’s have a conversation. Read my other blogs:
In my previous blog, I discussed the power of accountability and mentioned that I could share its negative side and what you should avoid. I listened to you. You said:
I'm going to give you the five things around negative accountability that you should avoid. I'll throw in some stories along the way as well.  Soccer and accountability If you didn't know, I play soccer. I play in a 30-something soccer league in North Vancouver, BC. It is filled with some ex-competitive players like myself and newbies, people who've never played before. Not every team has a coach, but we do. We like having a coach for trainings, warm-ups, and deciding who's on or not. I personally like having a coach for accountability. “Oh, Diane, why did you do that? Let's do this instead.” Also to talk things through with me to help me be a better player based on what's happening. Also accountability for the team, “You're not showing up on time? You don't get to start.” I love that part of accountability with having a coach. It helps us to step up into a better place, more peak performance, and such. I'm not going to go through them all because they’re in the previous blog. I encourage you to check it out. But after our latest game, as we're sitting around having a little social time with the team, there is a very high-level competitive league that was playing right after us. They are girls who are 10-12 years old or a little older. They were playing very seriously. They videotape the game so that they can go through the games after. I remember that from varsity rugby when I played for Western. We didn't have a video like this big pole thing that they do high-definition videoing. It’s very different. But we used to do stats. The stats were on:
All of these things, along with my kicking for posts, were tracked so that the coach could review them and then make an accountability plan for everyone. I'm watching this game with these girls. I know that there's going to be mega accountability after the game from watching the tape. Also, they said something like you can zoom in or tell the video to specifically look at one player, and it will track that player in the game. Pretty crazy. That’s high-level accountability. It’s great because it will help them be better players, learning from their mistakes. But what I heard from one team, with a group of coaches, was yelling.Lots and lots of yelling.
Sometimes sadly, it was conflicting. That made me also want to share that accountability coaching has to be the right coaching and the right type of accountability. This was not! Think about the times in your life when you've had the wrong accountability. Obviously, no accountability at all isn't good. I have accountability through coaches for so many areas of life. As you know my journey with my health and losing weight, I had a coach and a key part of their job was accountability.  I now have a comedy coach who's helping me develop some sets for events or comedy shows that I've been doing, as well as putting it in keynotes. So I have deadlines when I have to have things done for them. That's all wonderful. Let's look at these five things and I want you to think:
Side note, I don't want to forget to tell you that She's Goaled 2.0 is open. It is a speed course to reach your goals. Every month, we have a new set of goals and weekly check-ins which help with accountability. There’s mastermind power with a supportive group of like-minded top achievers. As well as coaching support and strategy from me. Network growth on the Goal Sister calls where you connect with another woman in the group and have that accountability. Then at the end of the month, we look back and review:
Accountability is a big part of it, but it's done positively. The doors are open for that, and they close on May 16, 2024. I hope you'll join, as it’s a program I’m really proud of. Okay, let's go through the five. #1: Stress buffet Think of accountability like an overzealous diet. Everyone thinks it's going to make them healthier, but it's not because it ends up stressing you out. If we have too much accountability, then your workplace and your day-to-day life are going to feel like you're in a pressure cooker. There's no room for error. Everything is down to the tee. Then what does the pressure cooker do when it gets too much stress? It blows up.  Imagine a geyser blowing. We actually had that happen on our kitchen ceiling. Soup had flown right up into the ceiling, leaving splotchy marks. We don't want to stress from too much accountability. There's that nice place where my clients say, “Oh, I just got everything done last night because I knew I was meeting you today.” Then there's the place where they say, “I was really sick. But I still did what I had to do, even though I was in the hospital because I knew I had to do it.” There's no room for error. We don't want you to be super stressed from accountability, but we want enough stress to push you to do something that you wouldn't normally do. With soccer, as I talked about in my previous blog, I do more because I have a coach or I do more because I have accountability. There's that nice amount that pushes you and stretches you a little bit, really you just want to be 1% better every single day. We don't want though the accountability to be turned up so high that you feel too much pressure and you're stressed out. #2: Confidence Killer When you're obsessed with following the rules, it can kill your confidence because you think, “Okay, this has to be. This has to be. This has to be this way, and this has to be this way.” Somebody's breathing down your neck. Accountability can actually turn negative. Then you're doubting yourself because it's so strict that you lose the confidence that naturally would be intuitive to you, your skills, and your talents. We don't want there to be too much in following the rules because that will kill your confidence. What I like to do with my clients is if their homework is not going to get done, I ask them to email me saying, “Hey, Diane, this homework is not going to get done because these other opportunities came up and I had to put them first. This actually is a better idea. I'm not going to do that homework. I'm going to do this instead to reach the same goal.” Perfect. Okay. Cool, good plan. That's what I want to hear. Or “Hey, Diane, I know I said that I would contact 20 people by our next session, but I'm probably only going to be able to contact 10 people because I now realize that it takes too much time or I only have 10 people in contact. I actually don't have 20.” Giving the reasons but then saying what you will do instead is great! Maybe the date is the wrong thing, so by the next session, you're like, “I can do 20 people, but I'll need a few more days after the next session to make it happen.” Rather than not being able to make your own decisions because of that overcontrol, you get to step back into your confidence by amending the goal. #3: Creativity Crusher When things are micromanaged too much, it can really squash your creativity, pretty much like a flat pancake. If there's too much rigidity, you'll become scared to make a move.  We don't want you to be scared to make a move because you're trying to do things so strictly, which means you can say goodbye to some of those out-of-the-box ideas, maybe a wild idea, like a 2AM wakeup idea, driving in the car with your kid to soccer, or doing a late-night coffee run. We want you to have creativity. Good accountability helps you reach your goals, and the creativity it gives you might mean that you can reach your goals faster than you would have thought. It comes back to what I was sharing last time, if you see a better option to reach your goal, then ditch the normal way that you were going to do it. For example, my plan to write my book was me at a computer writing a book. Then based on some circumstances, I realized, “Ah! What I'm going to do instead is create a five-week course, teach people the content, and then that's going to become the book.” By having that creativity opportunity, I was able to think outside the box to write my book. #4: Short-sighted goggles I wear contacts. I feel like I can't see far. Recently, I realized I can't really read the pill bottles. That's making me feel old. I wanted to commit to reading my Bible four times a week, but I'm just not loving the thin pages, and the words are so small. I asked friends if they had one with bigger fonts in it. Then one of them said, “Maybe you just need reading glasses.” I was like, “No, I'm good.” I put hers on anyway. It turns out I just need reading glasses - haha! If you're ever not wearing your glasses or you can imagine wearing dirty sunglasses, and you just can't see, you're wearing short-sighted goggles around accountability. You're so focused on hitting the next target that it's like you're wearing binoculars backwards because you're just like, “Okay, I got to nail this goal tomorrow. Then this goal the next day, and then this goal and then this goal.” You're seeing everything really close, but you can't see very far. With too much accountability, you're not going to be in that long-term big picture ever. Now, your coach should be looking at what we call in CTI Coaching the “Big “A” Agenda.” They’re seeing the big picture for you. The good part of accountability is you get to be in the “Little “a” Agenda”, the little pieces, the day-to-day, but your accountability coach is going to help you to also see the big vision so that when if you're staying in the short-sighted goggles, you're going to come up to a problem and you're going to be like, “Oh, I'm stuck and I can't do this.” They're going to say, “Hey, remember what the big goal is? Remember, this is only a blip on the way there.” “Hey, remember the last thing you did? You were able to get past that because of this, so let's keep going.” They're going to be able to help you, but if you have the wrong accountability, they're going to be so stuck on the next piece and not the big picture that you're going to lose out and you're not going to enjoy it. #5: Scaredy Cats If you are in a high accountability zone and the person holding you accountable is extremely military about it, the fear of messing up can actually turn everyone involved, including you into a nervous cat in a dog park. Can you imagine being a cat in a park full of dogs? You're on edge, your back’s up. Your claws are in the ground, and you're like, “Well, where is the next crazy dog coming from? Where is the next thing I need to avoid?” That is not a place to be functioning. You don't want to be in that place of, “I want to avoid the next problem or the next opposite obstacle.” Instead, you want to be able to look at the opportunities, jump on them, and then learn from mistakes, so you shouldn't get yelled at, you shouldn't get someone belittling you with accountability if you make a mistake or if you don't meet a target.  You should have someone who can nurture you along so you're not scared of the process, so you can see the big picture and learn from any mistakes you've made without that fight-or-flight cortisol hike that can happen out of fear. I played varsity rugby. I used to be a little bit nervous with my coach. There was some heavy accountability there. But once I got to know her more as a person, and she started to open up to me and give me positive reinforcement, telling me what I'm good at not just the things I'm not good at, not being a confidence killer, that really helped to nurture me. I was encouraged by her accountability. When I look at those soccer girls, I think:
I know that on the soccer field and being a young girl is very different from your life. But there are so many similarities, and I'm sure you can think of a time when you felt that way, even if you never played soccer or never played high level, or never had a sports coach. You can imagine a time in your life when that's been the case. Wrapping Up What I encourage you to do is make sure that you have the good side of accountability, that you avoid these five different ways that accountability can be bad when used in the wrong way, or when turned up the wrong way or when you hire the wrong accountability coach. Again doors are open for She's Goaled 2.0. I promise you, these five bad sides are not part of the program. There is no stress buffet, no confidence killer, no creativity crusher, no short-sighted goggles, and no scaredy-cats. It is a very positive learning environment. However, I will hold you to your goals because I want you to achieve more. That's the good side of accountability! Read my other blogs:
Have you been wanting to achieve something but you feel like you just don't have that last piece to push you to get there? Well, maybe accountability is the thing that you need.  Today, we're talking about the power of accountability. You may be thinking, “Well, I already know all about that.” But what you may have forgotten is, that accountability in every area of life, towards every single goal you ever have, can be the thing that gets you there and helps you achieve it faster. Maybe, it's even more enjoyable. (I'm thinking about doing another blog on the disadvantages of accountability and how it can get out of hand and not be good for you. Let me know in the comments if you’d want that, and I’ll put that together.) Some of the earliest times I had accountability was with my athletics. It continues today, but also in every area of my life. I've always had accountability because I was a pretty high-level competitive athlete (No, I didn't go pro or anything). One of the times when accountability was really necessary was when I played varsity rugby. We had off-season time, which was basically 10 months of the year. The season was only two months. To be fit for the season, we had to follow a full year-round fitness plan. It was intense. There were times when we bulk trained, meaning we lifted very heavy weights, low reps, in order to build mass or build bulk. There were times of the year when we looked to build our endurance or ability to be able to last through a full game at our full intensity. There were also times in the season when we built our speed, agility and rapid movements. Then there was the maintenance during the season when we just had to maintain where we were at. Throughout the season, our muscles were getting beaten up and injuries can come in. It's just maintaining where we're at.  The coach wouldn't have us train with the team every single day. But we needed to do the plan on our own. The threat was that we would be having random fitness testing throughout the year. I’ll tell you, to be randomly fitness tested is scary if you are not keeping up with the fitness plan. Fitness testing included the 12-minute run: running laps. It also included the beep test for the short sprints. There were pull-ups, bench press, leg press and a whole bunch of other things. I can't remember it all now because that was over 20 years ago. But we had the accountability of these major check-ins throughout the year. We didn't know when it would happen. We'd get a call or email (this was before everyone used a cellphone), and they’d say, “Hey, we're doing a fitness testing in two days.” Well, if you hadn't been committed to the fitness plan, it's going to show. You're going to be weaker than you were before. I had to come up with some accountability for between those different times. Accountability to be going to the gym, pushing myself, and sticking to the plan. The funny thing is I joke with people and coaches that I don't like running, and that's why I need a coach to tell me what to do. I need to play a sport to push me because I'm going to run to get the ball. I'm going to run to chase someone down. I'm going to run hard to be able to shoot, but I'm not necessarily going to just go and run, so I needed something or someone to get me there. The accountability was my teammates. We would commit to each other and be accountable to each other to meet. I had accountability with certain fitness classes and sessions.  Over the years, I’ve had accountability with a personal trainer or accountability with a class. Having that accountability was crucial for me to be able to stay as a starter on the varsity rugby team, the highest point scorer in the league because of my kicking for posts and becoming an Ontario University Athletics (OUA) all-star. If you’re wondering, I grew up in Ontario in Brantford playing for the Harlequins and I went to the University of Western Ontario in London and played for Capilano in North Vancouver, BC. Over the years, I’ve known I needed accountability in not just sports, but in taking on some of my bigger business goals, like doing stand-up, writing a book and launching my elite Coaching Mastermind Program. I needed accountability from my coach, my mastermind peers and business advisors, and so on. Also, in my most recent fitness goals, I needed a coach. I needed accountability. That check-in where I posted photos of my food every single day, five times a day, and plugged in exactly what I ate and how much I hate. That accountability is crucial. Side note, I want to let know that the doors are open for She’s Goaled 2.0. It is a coaching mastermind program like a speed course to reach your goals. They're small groups where you get the coaching power from me, the mastermind support of the group, and the accountability to be able to reach your goals. Six Benefits that Give You the Power of Accountability As I go through these different benefits, think about where in your life could you benefit a little bit more from some accountability. Benefit 1: Trust and reliability vibes. If you think about accountability, it's really the glue in relationships whether you're dealing with friends, a boss, or maybe even clients. If you are able to be in that place of being reliable and accountable for things, other people will throw trust your way. If you're able to have accountability, in a goal or accountability with a team, and you are accountable to someone, and they see that, then they're going to start trusting you, and maybe sending referrals your way. Even if you're not getting accountability towards a goal, having just some accountability partners in your life, people that you're accountable to shows the type of person you are.  Benefit 2: Boosting your performance. When you're accountable to someone else like a coach, business coach, life coach, or people in a mastermind group, it really keeps you from slacking off. Because you know, “Oh, I told them. They're counting on me to do this.” What that's going to do is help you perform at that higher level. I know for me that that was a huge game changer for me with sports. Even in my business, if did a weaker job or I just slacked off a little bit, I would let myself down, but I never wanted to let them down. The accountability helped me because if I trained on my own, I might run slower or do less weight. But when I actually was accountable to others, and they would see my progress, I would be embarrassed if I was performing at a low level. I always perform higher for someone else. I always pushed harder for someone else. The same is true in my business. When I am accountable to someone, I do better. Where in your life, could you do better and boost your performance because you're accountable to someone? Benefit 3: Captain responsibility. You get to be the captain and the owner of the things you're responsible for. When there is accountability, you have to own up to your actions. It also means that everyone is responsible for their own piece if you're on a project and there's accountability on the project, in the team, or in a group. They're going to look at you and ask themselves, “Okay, do they take responsibility for when things aren't going as they should? Are they steering themselves and us away from the trouble?” You’ll get the benefit for being their captain and so having that accountability with the group means that you're going to have more responsibility for your own actions, while others will be responsible for their actions. You get to take ownership, which is a great thing, rather than in a project not knowing who is responsible for what. Benefit 4: Learning loop. When we make a mistake, we want to be able to go, “Ah, oops, I did that wrong.” Then have that “AHA” moment of, “I should have done it this way or I could have done it this way.” A lot of times without accountability, we will beat ourselves up and stick to the negative of it, rather than moving to the learning part. It's like, “I made a mistake. Oops. Ahhh, that's what I learned, and now I'm going to make this change.” We get to go back into it by having that learning loop. But if we don't, and we don't have accountability, then we don't have anyone else to help us move through it, or to not be so hard on ourselves. When you learn the ropes of something and learn the lesson in it, it's really going to help you get past it. Then you’ll keep going towards your goal.  Benefit 5: Fair play. When you have accountability, there's more fair play in a group setting. When there's accountability, it's going to make sure everyone is playing by the rules. When you have accountability for you reaching one of your goals, you want to make sure that people you're accountable to are going to call you out. Call you out when you've done something that is just not in alignment with how it should be. Not necessarily calling you out on the mistakes because we want that learning loop to happen, but wanted to make sure things are fair, and things are done right. If you are trying to cheat in some way, they're going to call you out. When I would work out with people who were my accountability partners, and they saw that I was maybe bench pressing, but using more of my back than using my arms and my chest, then they're going to call me out and go, “Hey, your form is not right.” This is also excellent for your own learning and your results. They're going to see, are you doing your fair share of things, if it's a group? Any rule breakers in a group setting will be called out for it, and maybe even given a timeout. It will help when you're going for your goals to make sure there’s fair play because you might not even know what you should or shouldn't be doing. You might be doing something that's going to hurt you in the end because you haven't done everything as it should be done. That might be the case for processes and systems or if there's been trouble in going towards one of your goals if someone else there. People can help give you some extra ideas, or share how that industry works, or the moral or value-centered way of doing something. Benefit 6: Transparency. Your actions will be transparent when they’re seen by others. It's going to help keep things super clear for you. No mysteries of, “Did I do that?” or “That didn't happen that way”. People are going to know that you did or didn't do something. That's usually where we think of accountability. If you have an accountability partner for the gym, you're going to have to tell them you went to the gym or show you went to the gym, or you didn't. It's black and white. You did or you didn't. In this case, when things are transparent, it will help you get to your goals because you're not going to be hiding or kidding yourself. You're going to know when you're not going to reach your goal if you're not moving along. Your accountability can tell you. Many times I've met people, and they've said, “Oh yeah, this year, I'm going to write a book” or “By next mastermind, I'm going to start my program” and then you see them next mastermind they haven't done anything. Well, it's because no one has called them out on it. Sadly they will let themselves down and they're not really seeing what the problem is. Bonus: The accountability is going to actually keep you on track. I didn't add this earlier because it seems like the obvious reason. If you're not reaching your goals, if you're not even starting on some of your goals, it could be that you're lacking accountability, and someone to call you out on it. When I work with clients, and they're not getting towards the goal, I need to call them out on it. That's the accountability factor. I had one client say to me, “I have a bad habit of cheating myself, letting myself down and not stay committed to what I said I would do. I want you to call me on my BS. So if you see that I am providing excuses, running around not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I want you to call me on it.” That's really what the power of what coaching is, to say, “Come on, why aren't you doing this?” I've had this in both ways. One way is, “You're not doing this as fast as you said you would be doing this.” On the flip side, I've had someone call me out for doing too much, “Hey, you need to like wrap that up, you're doing too much of that.” Or even, “When are you going to stop in this story, so that you can actually get moving forward?” Because sometimes we get stuck in the being, and when you do, just get into the doing. It’s vital to have someone outside of us see that and call us out. Even not just call us out, but call us forward toward where we want to go. I tell my clients, “I'm going to take a stand for you and your goals even when you don't.” That's the thing, having someone that you're accountable to that is not worried about hurting your feelings, and is strong enough to be able to call you out. That's why it's crucial that is not a best friend. It's not a family member. That it's someone outside of your immediate circle. That's why I hired the person I did for my health goals. I knew she's intense. I wanted to be called out when I didn't do it. Some of my clients will say, “I got everything done, but it was last night because I knew I was meeting you today. I knew I had to do it.” Perfect! They got it done, and accountability helped. Well, can you imagine if we didn't meet? Do you think they'd be getting that done? Probably not. Wrapping Up There are a lot of reasons for the power of accountability. I hope you have accountability in different areas of your life. I encourage you to join the She’s Goaled 2.0, where you’ll get weekly accountability support so that you’ll reach your goals. It's not enough to have accountability once a month. It's not even enough sometimes twice a month. You're going to get accountability four times a month. Every single week, you get accountability. What I found is it moves people very quickly towards their goals in a way that is manageable. Because rather than you busting your butt right before you meet a group, maybe every quarter, this way, it's going to help you to have a consistent routine and effort towards your goals. Check out She’s Goaled 2.0. We'd love to have you be part of it. Read my other blogs:
Do you have a dream or a desire or a habit that you want to change? But you've been sitting on it and you haven't?  In this blog, I’m sharing about a common question I ask clients, “What are you waiting for?” You have something a dream or desire a habit that you want to change, but you're not. Why are you doing it? What the problem is causing now that you're not doing it? What you're missing out on and what you can actually do to get moving? This is what I'm going to be exploring today. (Sidenote: Doors for She's Goaled 2.0 are open right now. It's your speed course to reach your goals. A six-month program to give you coaching and mastermind support, and a group of like-minded women to help you reach your goals.) What are you waiting for? I coach people. I have powerful conversations with people I meet. As a speaker, I chat with people in the audience. What I've been finding is people very often want to do something.
But they just don't do it. If it's a habit, then it's something like…
Whatever it may be, the question I want to just scream out is, “What are you waiting for?” Sometimes I have to ask myself that tough question, too.
Ask yourself these questions:
When you're in that place of not doing something that you really want to do, you're telling yourself…
The saddest thing is when people get too old or too struck in responsibility or lack of that they're just not able to do it. There are different people I meet who eventually have mobility issues, health issues, or a loved one was taken too soon, and they don't get to realize the things that they really wanted when they were younger or healthier or really desired it from the beginning. So what are you waiting for? I'm going to say that many, many times in this blog. The psychological or practical factors that are stopping you from taking action towards your goals There might be some psychological or practical factors that are stopping you from taking action towards your goals. Maybe you want to do this big trip, but you just don't have the financial means. Maybe you want to quit your job, but you're the sole breadwinner, and it's pretty scary to think about leaving your job to have the lack of stability in your finances. I get that. I get that you might have health issues that are stopping you. But there's always one way or another to do it or a modified version of the original desire. Let's really figure out what are the psychological or practical factors that are stopping you from doing what you want.  Maybe it's a lack of clear goals: When you don't have those specific, achievable goals, it can feel like you don't have any direction, any focus, and then you lose motivation. If you have clear goals, you're going to have a roadmap and reasons to act. But if you don't have clear goals, you're going to suffer from overwhelm. You're going to be overwhelmed by how big the task feels. Most of the time, it's just an unknown factor. I didn't know what it would be like to write my first book and publish it. Now, no problem. Hand me something, and we can bang out a book in a few days sort of thing. It's not an overwhelming feeling now, because I've been able to know the scope of the actual project. But you might feel overwhelmed because you have poor planning, you have unrealistic expectations or even a lack of prioritization. You don't have clear goals and a clear plan, so you feel overwhelmed. Habitual Inertia: Maybe you're also trying to take it all on yourself. Now, if it's around habits, you may be afraid of change or kind of opposed to change. Something called habitual inertia where you stick to these familiar routines, familiar habits, even when they don't serve you, because it's easier than changing. For me, it's like, I'm not a morning person. Well, maybe if I just got myself to bed earlier then I could get my butt out of bed in the morning. Is it really who you are? People say, “Oh, I'm not a planner.” Well, could you learn how to plan? Because you've learned a lot of things in your life: to be able to eat and walk and dress yourself and have good hygiene. There are a lot of things that you've been able to do. I get the change. It does require us to give some effort. Sometimes change also means we don't know the outcome. But really, we also don't know the outcome of reaching a wonderful goal, desire, or habit that we want to make better. Isn't it worth the effort if we know that there's going to be some sort of payoff? Poor Time Management: Another reason why you might not be going to do what you wanted to is you're prioritizing everything else instead, and you have poor time management. Let's be honest. If you're playing games on your phone, if you're watching Netflix, if you're kind of pushing papers around, checking out social media, maybe that's why you don't have time to do the things that you really desire. Other things that are causing you to have poor time management, like procrastination, that's maybe another reason why you're not going for it. You're delaying tasks that need to be done. You're putting them off. Maybe it's because you have no motivation. Maybe it's because of another reason like you have a fear of failure: Is that what you have? It could be. When you have a fear of failure, you don't even want to try it. Or worse when you have perfectionism, you don't want to finish it. You put all that work in, but you won't finish because it's not going to end up the way you imagined it. But the sad thing I see is that people don't spend the time or invest the time to figure out, “What is stopping me? What am I waiting for?” My clients that come to me and I ask them this question, bravo, amazing. They're exactly where they need to be because they're getting the support to get the awareness. Understanding the reasons, the barriers, and the obstacles, is the first step in overcoming them. Awareness is key. As soon as you have the understanding that this is a psychological problem that you're dealing with, you can then address them. You can then focus on them and be able to have some practical strategies and mindset changes to be able to get through it. What you can do I don't want to just give you the problem and point this out in your life without some action items. Really, I'm hoping I stir something in you because I'm sick of seeing people living in black and white, living in a place where they're not where they want to be. They don't have joy, and they've lost their spark. I want you to have what you've been waiting for. But to have it now. First, figure out, “What's the thing that's stopping me?” Maybe it's the list that I've shared. Maybe it's something else. Having a session with a coach like me can really help to pull out the true answer here. The next thing is, once you've figured it out, I urge you find someone to support you through this. It could be a coach or a counsellor. You need some accountability to be able to move forward. Seek support. What you can do is just take one small step. Figure out what's the desire, the habit, or the thing you yearn to have be different or to have in your life, and then come up with what's the very first step. Once you know what the first step is, and you know 150% can go for it and achieve it, then just commit to that, and do that. Then at that point, you're going to gain confidence and motivation, which are actually two other pieces that could be holding you back and causing you to wait for what you want and to wait for going for what you want.  I challenge you, as you're reading this, to be thinking, “Okay, what is that first step?” Get some clarity on that first step, and reflect on, “What is stopping me?” I'd love to hear love to hear from you. What is the thing stopping you? Is it procrastination? Is it perfectionism? Is it a lack of resources? Is it…
I'm glad I wrote these down because there are so many of them, and there are more. These are just some of the main ones that I see. I don't want for you to be in a place where you say…
You have an opportunity to realize what you've wanted and to not wait for it anymore. Let me know in the comments or shoot me an email [email protected]. Share with me the thing that you've been waiting for. What is the thing that's been holding you back from getting it? What is the first step that you're going to take? Again, doors are open for She’s Goaled 2.0. I encourage you to jump in and have us support you in reaching your goals, desires, habits, and dreams that you've been wanting. Because you'll have the accountability, you'll have the coaching support, you'll have the group's mastermind support, and you'll have timed actions so that you can move forward. That's really what I want for you. Because you are brilliant and you have great skills and talents and the world needs to see more of it. You need to be able to invest in yourself so that you can have the life, the business, the career, the family, and all the areas of life to be how you desire them to be. Until next time, stay dynamic. Read my other blogs:
This is the third part in a three-part series about being a collaborative author. In this one, I'm sharing the five reasons to be a collaborative author when you have a book or are currently writing your own, or have been in a collaborative book (You can read the first two parts of this series where I shared about the three ways you’ll get left behind by NOT being an author and what to look for in collaborative book opportunities.)
Leadership Secrets is coming up in the next year. Our first call for authors closes, April 17 at 11:59PM, where we have the opportunity for 18 women to jump into co-authorship with us. This is part of why I'm doing this three-part series. On April 15, we also have a training called Collaborative Author 101: How to Explode Your Audience, Establish Your Authority, and Leave a Legacy by Entering the World of Co-Writing. If you missed it and would like a replay, please reach out to [email protected] as soon as possible so that we can see if we can get that to you. Depending on when you reach out, we might even be in our second call for authors or we might be able to squeak you in the first. We'll see. No guarantees. There are so many benefits to being in a collaborative book, and we offer so many bonuses when you’re in Leadership Secrets. Now, here are the five different reasons to be a collaborative author, even if you're already an author, or you're writing your own book. These are also for you if you were already part of a collaborative book. You might think, “Well, I'm already an author, why bother?” Well, there's actually a strategy for why to be an author. I've been part of collaborative books from other people, and even if they don’t have all the strategy pieces that I want, there’s still some benefit to it, and I still do it. You can read my previous blogs where I talked about what to look for in collaborative book opportunities and the previous one to is about the three ways you'll get left behind by not being an author. But today, I want to speak to those who have had a book, who are writing their own books, or have been in a collaborative book and are thinking, “Why would I bother being a collaborative author?” I'm going to talk through these five pieces. Because I'll tell you, I felt the same way. Reason 1: It's a jumping-off point. Some authors who have been part of Dynamic Women® Secrets Books have used this as a learning opportunity to then jump off and do their own solo book. They’ve been able to build confidence as a writer and also be able to say, “Okay, I'm a collaborative author, and this is the first book and now I'm going to be a solo author of my own book.” Then they go on to do their own. If you're writing your own book, now's a really great time to invest in this type of opportunity with us because you're going to be able to have our book come out, and then your book. Sort of like “Bam, Bam.” You get to leverage my network and our promo to then position your own book. Here's a little bonus tip: You can bundle the books when you go to sell them as a way to make even more money to get a double sale rather than just a single sale. If you already have a book that's out there, then you can use this opportunity to link it back to your book that you've already done. Cool, eh? Reason 2: To plant the seed. If you're currently writing your own book, then you want to plant the seed to the readers that your book is coming out. You can plant the seed forward to the next book or you can plant the seed backwards to a book that you've already done so that the people reading this collaborative book with us can go back and purchase the book that you've already done. Planting the seed for a future book, a past book, or a current book is a really amazing reason to be a collaborative author. I've done that a bunch of times. In one book, I talked about being a Dynamic Woman. Then I linked it back to the Dynamic You™ Book. I've also been in another one where I talked about the importance of celebrating our successes and linked it over to the Dynamic Year journal. You might even write your piece as something that will open up an idea that is then more thoroughly talked about in your own book or in another collaborative book. There are different ways. I can even write in someone else's collaborative book about the importance of being a collaborative author and link it back to my opportunity. It doesn't even have to be directly to the book. It could be to other opportunities or offerings. Reason 3: To build your audience. How do you build your audience? Well, the obvious one is you’re building your audience with the readers who buy your book from you.  You're also building your audience by the other authors selling it to their audiences. Plus, you can build your audience by leveraging your own social media promotion before the book even comes out, and when it’s out. What you might not have thought about for your own book or even with a collaborative book is to share the content from other authors or commenting on their posts to gain more connections and followers. What you might not have thought about for your own book is the power of the publisher, in this case it’s me, promoting you as an author to my network. As I mentioned in my previous blog, you want to be looking for full promo from a collaborative book opportunity. It’s them promoting you and also giving you lots of promo materials for social media, emails etc. that they have designed personalized to you. That's a really key thing and strategy. That's something we teach in our book opportunity. Reason 4: Build your network. You might be like, “What's the difference between audience and network?” Well, if we think of audiences, these are people who could buy from you, who do buy from you and leads. Then we talk about networks. Yes, that could also be leads. Yes, that can also be potential customers. It can also be your audience. But I want you to think of it differently in the way of network by connecting with a network of authors. You are an author. Now you have permission to reach out to the other authors. Obviously not a salesy or creepy way. You can be like, “Hey, I'm an author in the Dynamic Women® Secrets Book. I'm secret number 13. I see you’re secret number 28. Let's connect.” Now, you're connecting, not just as maybe an expert in your topic, but you're connecting as authors. Connecting on another level, and even though you've maybe already been part of a collaborative book, this is a new set of authors. Even if you've written your own book, this is now you connecting with other authors. It's always important to continue to expand your network, grow your network, and build your network, so that you can continue to build collaborative opportunities, joint ventures, affiliates, referral partnerships, all of these things to move your business forward.  If you don’t grow your network, eventually, by having just the same group of people, you're going to hit some dead ends, and your lists are all going to start being the same. Reason 5: Being relevant. You need to continue to add to your achievements and your bio with a current book. I don't lean on the power and the success of my solo book back in 2017. I'm constantly putting out books or being part of books so that I continue to be relevant. I continue to be on people's radars like, “Whoa, you're an author again. Wow. Cool.” The ability to say, “My latest book” is powerful, and then in selling this new book, you can bring in your old books and bundle them. Authors, if your book is over a year old, you need another book. You need some fresh readers. There's so much strategy that can be used here around being a collaborative author. That's why I continue to be a collaborative author, even though some of the opportunities don't hold all the things I really want in collaborative authorship opportunities. Wrapping Up These five reasons: a jumping-off point, planting the seed, building your audience, building your network, and being relevant - are game changers in your business, to get the message out there, to be able to bring business back to you, and really, to stand apart from other people in your industry. I hope you'll consider joining the Dynamic Women® Leadership Secrets book. Check in with us to see if we still have opportunities depending on when you read this and go back and read the other two parts of this series so that you can really get all of the information to make the right choices about being a collaborative author. Also, invite your friend to be an author with you. That's a really cool opportunity as well as growth for you, your friend, and for your friendship as you both move up in the world in the same book and make a change in other people's lives. Read my other blogs:
This is the second part of a three-part series about being a collaborative author. You can read the first part here. In this blog, I’m going to be covering what to look for in collaborative book opportunities.  Collaborative book opportunities To kick things off, I want you to know that there are many collaborative book opportunities out there, mine included. After publishing five of my own books, three of them collaborative in the Dynamic Women® Secrets Series. We have Success Secrets, Confidence Secrets, and Trailblazer Secrets, and now in the next year, we're going to be launching Leadership Secrets. I also have my Dynamic Year Journal, my Dynamic You book and I’ve been in six other collaborative books. I don’t share this to brag, I share this only because I have learned a lot about the process: writing, editing, formatting, layout, editing, publishing and promotion. I have learned what to do, what not to do, and really what I look for in collaborative opportunities. All of them are basically going to have done-for-you options, meaning you submit your piece, and they put it in the book, and they publish it. But there are many other things to look out for. This is true in the way that I look for opportunities, but I'm also noticing I've even joined books that don't have all of these opportunities. There's a different reason why I'm joining, but I don't get the full ROI (return on investment) when I am part of these book opportunities. I do it for different reasons. I won't fully go into that today. I want to let you know some things that you can look for. One of my collaborative authors in this new Leadership Secrets book came to me and said, “You know, Diane, I was part of another collaborative book, but I just didn't like how it was going, so I actually dropped out and asked for a refund. Now, I'm joining your book because I see the opportunities here and I see the different levels of opportunity that you're providing for my investment.” Side note: We have a Call for Authors right now for Leadership Secrets and we have 18 spots for authors to jump in. There will be special perks for this group, but some spots are already taken and doors close April 17th at 11:59 pm PDT. If you’d like more info, then join us on April 15th from 1-3:00 PM PDT, we are going to have a free training called “Collaborative Author 101: How to Explode Your Audience, Establish Your Authority, and Leave a Legacy by Entering the World of Co-Writing”. We're doing two more Call for Authors throughout the year. But this group will have most of the perks. I encourage you to check it out to be part of this opportunity. Who is this opportunity good for?
The 3 things to look for in collaborative book opportunities #1: Strategy Support You're looking for strategy support. Now what do I mean by that? Well, I've been in books before. I joined, I paid the investment and then it was, “Okay, you need to submit your piece within 10 days.” Or “You need to have your piece in by this date.” What I would love to see happen more and what we do in our book is we offer a course called “Book Writing Strategies.” You get an idea-generating session with everyone to talk about what you could write about, so it’s easier to write your piece. Then we look at the “Book Writing Strategies” where you get strategies on what to write and how to write it to boomerang business back to you: leads, clients, sales, and opportunities. Then that gives you the best ROI. There are a lot of different things I’ve learned over the years and in being part of six other people's collaborative books and three of my own. There's a lot of strategy in how to write your piece, what to put in your bio, what your title should be, and which links to use for readers to connect with you, each part of your piece is important so you can boomerang business and opportunities back to you. There's a lot of strategy that goes into every word. You can choose to just write your piece and submit it and be done. But I really think that if you're looking for a collaborative opportunity to be part of a book, you want to get that outside view of what’s possible.
be a big part of the opportunities that you say yes to. #2: Full promotion What I mean by full promotion is in two pieces: 1. The publisher, or whoever is providing this opportunity, gives you promotional assets. I say full because you get your book, and then you say, “Now what do I do with it?” What we do on our team is we do something called “Author-in-a-Box” where you get all the promo assets needed to properly promote the book. We provide you with the sales sheets, PR press release, and all the promo, including stories, videos, graphics, and everything. Not just, “Here's the book” and it's generic for everyone, it is personalized for you, your name, your image, and the ability for you to do that with the videos and other pieces. It's a full promo. It’s personalized. It is about you being announced as an author, promo for the virtual book launch party, as well as more promo for when the book is out to help you sell it. That's what I see as a full promo. You’re provided with the copy, the images or graphics, everything, so you can just copy and paste, basically because we want it to be easy for you. That’s why we call it “Author-in-a-Box”. It's super easy to just copy and paste into your email, onto your social media, or wherever you want to put it. 2. The other side of this is actually that the publisher is promoting you. I think the publisher should be doing this by promoting all of the authors and their names, not just an image of them on a banner or something and no one knows who they are.I announce that everyone is an author on multiple platforms of mine, like LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. It's on my banners I promote on my social. You need both sides for it to be full promo. Then the publisher promotes the book to their network and encourages all the authors to do so with the opportunity for wholesale copies. #3: Wholesale copies This is definitely something you want to be looking for, the ability to purchase wholesale copies. If I give you copy and images to promo, then you can easily promote the book, sell the book to your network and make money off of it. Imagine making 10-20 bucks per book or using the book in a way that's going to help you bring in more clients, more opportunities, and more checks. That's key, right? If you have to buy the book retail from the publisher or Amazon then you are not making money off it unless you raise the price, but you wouldn’t since it’s listed as lower elsewhere. This also stops you from being able to gift the books cheaply or using them strategically to for leads. Bonus: Another thing that you want to look for in an opportunity that encourages you and teaches you the ways to sell the books and bring more business and cheques back to you by using the book.  I do a training that gives you 20+ ways to use the book to bring in clients, opportunities, money, and sales. These are all proven things that I have done in my business. It’s really crucial that if you're going to invest money in an opportunity to be a collaborative author, you want to have opportunities to bring the money back to you and to get a really good ROI. Wrapping Up When you're looking for that collaborative book opportunity, you want to look for a publisher who’s giving you strategy support, the full promo, personalized promo for multiple parts of the book process, as well as wholesale copies so that you can make money off of it and teaches you how to use the book in different ways to bring business leads and money back to you. If you want to be part of our next collaborative book called Dynamic Women® Leadership Secrets, apply here. We have open doors right now until April 17. This is our first call for authors. I encourage you to jump in now. The best perks will be now. On April 15, we have a training called “Collaborative Author 101: How to Explode Your Audience, Establish Your Authority, and Leave a Legacy by Entering the World of Co-Writing”. You can join by registering here. It’s free to attend. If you have any questions reach out to me, [email protected]. Stay tuned for the next blog (we are dropping right now) where I talk about the “5 Reasons to be a Collaborative Author When you Have a Book or You're Writing Your Own Book”. If I can say so myself, I share some really cool strategy in it as well. Read my other blogs:
Today, I will share about the three ways you'll get left behind by not being an author. This is part one of a three-part series about being a collaborative author. In the next two blogs, I’ll cover what to look for in collaborative book opportunities and the five reasons to be a collaborative author even when you have a book or are writing your own book.  Sidenote: Doors are open for our first call for authors for the next book in the Dynamic Women® Secret series. The book is called Dynamic Women® Leadership Secrets. Our first call for authors is closing on April 17, at 11:59PM PDT, and we’ve opened 18 spots for this round. There are bonuses and benefits to being in this first group. If you’re interested and want to learn more about this opportunity, you can come to our info session happening on April 15 at 1 PM PDT where I will share about, “Collaborative Author 101: How to Explode Your Audience, Establish Your Authority, and Leave a Legacy by Entering the World of Co-Writing”. The Three Ways You’ll Get Left Behind by NOT Being an Author These ways are for all people including those who…
#1: Competitive Edge I wrote my first book seven years ago called “Dynamic You: The Nine Pillars of Being a Dynamic Woman.” Being an author is still very special, but things have changed because more books are being put out. It is a little bit easier to self-publish these days, rather than having to find a publisher.
I hear, “Well, why would you go and be in other people's books when you can just publish more of your own?” There’s a strategy in all of this. There's a reason why I do all of these things, so watch out for my next two blogs in the coming weeks because I will go through the reasons why I continue to be in books. I've now put out one solo book, three Dynamic Women® Secrets books - Success Secrets, Confidence Secrets, and Trailblazer Secrets. I've also put out the Dynamic Year journal. That's me doing five of my own, then I've been in six other books that other people have put out, and I'm going to be signing up to be part of yet another one. That competitive edge is what you want over other people in the industry. I'll talk about how that comes into play in the second way. #2: Expertise and bio depth. You may think, “Well, I'm not quite an expert at what I am doing.” Or you may believe, “Well, I am an expert.” That's okay you both can be in a book. Being an author…
Adding that you're an author, a collaborative author, and an author again, is a benefit that can move you ahead of others. As I said, almost everyone will have a book in the next couple of years. Then it's since most people have at least one book or have been in one book, you’ll need to have more. When I get introduced to go and speak and they say, “10-time bestselling author”, that's pretty impressive. I'm not saying you need 10. But 1, 2, or 3 would be wonderful. Expertise and bio depth come into play when your leads and clients are looking at their options. They're weighing options. “I’ve got this person, that person and one other person to consider.” You're one of three, one of two, one of 10. Who knows. If it's between you and these other people, they will start weighing the bios and the expertise. As soon as they see someone has a book, that they're an author, or they're an author in something and other people aren't, that's one thing that can make your competitors stand out compared to you. Also, it can help them to be seen as the expert, even though you might have more expertise than they do, and will give them more bio depth than your bio. Even if you have been published, if you don't have a recent publication, then that can also put you down if someone else has a recent book that's come out. We're going to see that in LinkedIn, as it's put up as a milestone. There's new energy around that. #3: Missing out on opportunities You may think, “Well, what opportunities?” In my training that I've done about being a collaborative author, I talk about 10 to 20 ways of benefiting from being in a book or putting out your own book. Some of the ones that you're going to be missing out on are opportunities like speaking engagements. Being asked to speak because you're an author and expert on a topic. If you're not an author, you can’t join authors’ groups or be brought on to podcasts about being an author, or about the book that you're in. Those are some of the key benefits you’ll miss out on as well as summits. I get invited into summits and podcasts because of books that I've been in, because they found me that way, or they've been justified in asking me because they see that I have books for sale on my website.  The last piece around missing out on opportunities is list building. Now, with list building, there are multiple ways you can be doing it:
There are so many different ways that you're missing out on opportunities by not being in a book. You don't want to be left behind, especially because I'm sure you're doing such great work in the world, that you're super passionate about, and you can help people with your products and your services. Wrapping Up I’m guessing you now see how you want to have that competitive edge. You want to have expertise and bio depth. You don’t want to be missing out on opportunities. You don't want to get left behind by not being an author. I do provide a very simple, easy and affordable way that you can be an collaborative author. As I said, the call for authors is closing April 17th, 2024. You can go here to learn more about this exciting opportunity! There is an investment because we do have to pay for editors, the design team, the layout, the promos, and all the other pieces that we do. There is a very minor investment, I would say, in being part of this amazing opportunity. You can also join us on April 15 to learn more. We do have an amazing new training that I'm doing called, “Collaborative Author 101: How to Explode Your Audience, Establish Your Authority, and Leave a Legacy by Entering the World of Co-Writing”. I encourage you to jump onto that or reach out to me [email protected] if you have any questions. Read my other blogs:
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