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Do you really want more? Or do you feel like you should? What if the “Next Level” isn’t what you actually want?  What does “next level” mean? We continue as high-achieving, A-type people to accomplish more. We are…
We do all these things, and when we get to that next level, sadly, we don't even celebrate. We're already eyeing that next title or that next goal.
You feel like, "I don't get to rest. Rest is for the weak. I am strong," or at least you're pretending to be strong. But here's a reality check question: Do you actually want more, or do you just feel like you should? Virtual Assistant Made Easy Before I started another business, Virtual Assistant Made Easy, I fought it for a long time. I was like, "I'm not doing it. I'm not". This is because I already felt like I had too many programs, too many irons in the fire, and too many things on the go in my life. I was trying to streamline. But people kept asking me,
I was like, "No, no, no, I'm too busy. I can't do it." Then a friend of mine, Michelle, said, "Having a virtual assistant means that the people you're telling to balance their lives can actually pass things off and then have more space to balance. Then on the other side, you're teaching your business clients strategy, and you're teaching them the cool things they can implement, but they don't have the technology know-how or the time to put all of these things into place." She was right. It helped my clients and it helped me. So I started Virtual Assistant Made Easy and built that business. BUT then people said to me, "This is a great business. You could scale it. You could make it so big." The thing is:
At the time, I said, "No," and maybe that will change. Why does this matter for you? Well, you’re getting into the trap of chasing the next success without questioning if you really want it. You need to get real about your goals and so called desires. High-achieving women are basically like trained Border Collies. We see a goal, and we chase it. It doesn't matter if we want it necessarily, if it makes sense for us to go for it, or if it aligns with our actual life goals.  We just see the opportunity. We think, "Yep, I should definitely run at full speed at that," and that's where we need the being and the doing. Being vs Doing We need both. The doing is how the high-achieving woman sees the goal and goes for it without stopping. Which can be a great quality of being decisive and getting into action. The being is checking in on if it feels like the right decision for you. You can ask yourself:
The problem is, if you're not careful, you're going to wake up one day exhausted, juggling a million responsibilities, realizing you don't even like the life you built. That happens. I have met many people who are exactly where they had aimed to be, in their success level, in their finances, in every area of their life, and they get to the top of the mountain and say, "Is this it? Is this where I was supposed to be? Is this even the mountain that I'm supposed to be on? I don't know. I kind of just want to be over there, and I want to be doing that." Are you at that level of success because someone else told you that's what success looks like? For example, in my life, it wasn't a question of if I was going to a university, it was just, which one am I going to? There were timelines for my life. There was a list… This happens, then this happens and then this happens. Success without intention on the being side, is just busyness in disguise. Honestly, we don't have time for that nonsense when life is just way too short. How many people do you know who died too soon? Of people who didn't get to enjoy life? Or people who have lost important things in their life? They maybe finally retired and lost their spouse. They maybe finally got to that high level and then completely burnt out. If we break it down, more isn't always better. Aligned growth matters more. Do we want to be making six or seven figures? Yeah, maybe we do because then the more money we make, the more we can do with that. But bigger doesn't always mean better. More doesn't mean more awesome. Basically, bigger just means bigger—bigger responsibilities, bigger pressure, bigger expectations to always be on. If you're not growing in this right direction towards the things that are intentionally for you, all that expansion, all that growth, all that achievement, it's just going to make you miserable and take away more of your time potentially, depending on how you build the business. It's going to put you in a higher tax bracket. That's for sure. I want you to think about the last time you achieved a big goal. Did you actually enjoy it? Or did you feel that immediate, crushing obligation? "Oh, there's the next goal. I need to go do this. Why didn't I do these things right when I did this goal?" Do you actually celebrate it? I’m linking here the video I did on the motivation mountain, and just listen to what happens when you don’t celebrate. I won’t explain it here because I don't want this blog to be too long. We're taught that success is a ladder. It goes up and up and up and up and you have to keep climbing. But what if success was actually like a choose your own adventure story, so you could go one way then say, "Oh, that looks cool over there," and you jump over. It doesn't have to be climbing up. It can be lateral steps. It can also be a completely different change of direction. Have you heard stories of people who have worked up in corporate and then decided, "I'm going to make art," or "I'm going to go do something I really love to do." Their passion, the thing maybe they started off the side of their desk becomes what they move into, or that they, on purpose, take a demotion, not a promotion. They pull down in responsibility because they want to have the life they are actually choosing rather than one that’s been chosen for them. What if you're not supposed to climb forever either? What if you climbed a little bit and then enjoyed life and maybe built something different, or did different goals that actually fit the lifestyle that you want? New perspective We're going to take a new perspective here. Success is personal. You get to own your unique version of success. We're going to stop measuring life according to success and start measuring life according to our satisfaction. One of my friends built a fabulous business, but she was in meetings all day, and she was pulled out of the tasks that she loved to do. It was not the business she dreamed of building - her success was not making her happy. Maybe success for you isn't a C-suite title or the corner office with a view. Maybe it's not a TED Talk. Maybe it's not managing a team of 50, making seven figures, and writing your 50th book. Maybe it's working just three days a week. Making great money and having time to actually enjoy your life. Running a business that doesn't require you to be on 17 Zoom meetings a day. The problem is, that we often define our success based on other people's expectations. But if your version of success doesn't include what other people deem as worthy or successful, then that's fine. What you can do It's time to either figure out what you really want or scrap everything, start fresh, and redefine what you actually want. Here are three questions you can ask yourself.  First question: What actually excites you now? Ask yourself:
It's not what looks good on paper. It's about what actually lights you up, gives you energy, and gives you fire. If you didn't have to post about it on social or talk about it, what would you do?
Second question: Are you chasing this because you want it or because you think it'll make you look successful to other people? We need to, as I spoke in previous blogs, about the difference between internal and external validation. Look at the things you're doing currently in your life that you're putting your energy towards, the goals you're going after, and ask yourself this question: Are you chasing this goal, this promotion, this whatever, fill in the blank because you want it or because you think it'll make you look successful to other people? Or is it because other people said it's good? Ask yourself that. Third question: Looking at your life, is what you have enough or is it too much? I want you to know that there is a point where you get to say "Enough. Enough. My schedule is full. I have done enough pursuing. Rather than climb the ladder, I'm going to do the Choose Your Own Adventure route." Be bold enough to stop at enough. You don't have to do the big flex. "Oh, I'm doing more. I'm so busy." The question I'm going to ask you is, looking at your life, is what you have to do enough, or is it too much? And is it enough of the right things? There's a myth that you don't have time for anything else. Some people say, "Give something you want done to a busy person, they'll get it done," but that's just shoving in more and taking up more of your time, and then you don't have any time for yourself. Looking at your life, is there enough of what brings you joy to say, "I have a great life"? Wrapping Up Those are some tough questions. If they've raised for you something that you'd like to talk or coach about, then email me: [email protected]. Here are my final thoughts. Success should make us feel great and give us freedom, energy, and happiness, not pressure to climb up to the next step because really with that ladder, it's endless. If we have goalposts we're shooting for, I'll tell you, as soon as you get there, the goalposts will move. The ladder will keep getting higher. It's just really about owning your own life. It's your life. Too often, others will give their opinions on how you should live your life. If chasing that next level, that next goal, getting to the next rung on the ladder, is draining your soul, maybe the next level isn't really what you want, and that's okay. You don't have to get up there and stay up there. You don't have to get up there and push for more. If the next level isn't what you actually want, then don't go for it. You are allowed. You don't have to hustle for the sake of hustling. You don't get a badge of honour for being a hustler, especially at your own expense. You don't have to prove anything to anyone else. You don't have to spend your entire life chasing the next thing when what you already have is pretty darn good. If you're happy where you are, that’s great. Put blinders on and enjoy your life. Before you set your next big goal, ask yourself, "Do I actually want this or am I just running towards it because I don't know how to stop? I don't know how to get off the hamster wheel?" You do. Ask yourself, "Do I actually want this?" and listen to the truth of that answer, and then act on it. I could keep going because I'm just so passionate about this because this has been a lesson that I have had to learn. If you're looking to get off the hamster wheel, if you're looking to like be able to take bold, intentional action towards what's enough for your life, reach out to me, [email protected], and let's jump into a coaching session about this. Stay dynamic. Read my other blogs:
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