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Have you ever thought, "I should be able to handle this myself?” If so, this blog is for you because I'm talking about the capable woman trap: why being good at everything keeps you stuck.  Are You Really Good at Figuring Things Out? Let me ask you something: Are you really good at figuring out things on your own? I already know the answer is probably yes, because you're reading this, and that's the type of person who reads this content. You're a high-achieving, Type A, capable woman. You're smart, resourceful, and you can figure things out. But that can also be what's keeping you stuck. What Is the Capable Woman Trap? It's really that belief: "I am capable, I shouldn't need help." Where does this come from? You've probably spent your whole life being the person who figures things out in your group of people. How this shows up:
That's when the problem hits. In both scenarios, your first instinct is "I've got this, I can do this, I can figure it out." Then the problem is: it works. You do figure it out, but that reinforces itself. It reinforces the idea that you are capable, that you should be able to figure it out, and so you do it. But every time you successfully solve something for someone else, or you do something for your business alone, you think, "See, I don't need any help. I can do it myself." Why It Feels So True (But Isn't) You think "I can do it myself" because:
Here's What's Actually Happening Below the Surface You're spending your time (spending meaning you're not going to get the time back). You're spending your time, your strategic time, your skilled time, the time that you could be earning $500+ an hour, but instead you’re doing $25 an hour tasks. Do you see where this could be a problem? You've maybe heard this and you know this, but you still do:
Could someone else do those things for you? 100% yes. But you still think:
Your Competence Is Your Cage It's actually keeping you stuck. How competent you are is actually your cage. It's caging you in. The more you prove "I can handle this, I can do it on my own, I can be self-reliant and independent," the more you take on in your own business, the more you take on in your life, and the more people will pile things on you. The more you take on also means:
What I often see in my coaching clients or the women I talk to is that they don't have time for cash flow activities (sales calls, strategy, building partnerships, making the right connections, following up on leads). They don't have time for that, and they don't have time for high-value work like high-level client delivery, creating offers, developing programs (the things your clients pay you for, or the things necessary for you to run a great business in the CEO or manager position). But you can't do those things in your business if you're drowning in admin and other things. A Real Example I worked with a woman who earned $75k per year. She’s very capable, and doing everything herself. When we audited her time, she was spending 15 hours a week on tasks that she could hire someone else to do for $20 an hour. That's like:
Do you think you could make that back if you just had some targeted, specific tasks that you did in your day? For sure. Imagine 15 hours a week on cash flow activities, 15 hours a week in that CEO role or the manager role, both. She thought, "I'm saving money by not hiring help," but she wasn't. She was costing herself money, which is the big shift that needs to happen. Those 15 hours a week she could have been doing sales calls, client delivery, strategic planning, basically work that would generate her $30k, $50k, $100k or more per year. Her capability kept her at that $75k until we had her offloading tasks. Then she broke the six-figure mark, and now she is in multiple six figures. My Own Story I learned this myself. I was stuck at the same income level for about three years. I was working 60+ hours a week (probably 70-80 hours most weeks). I was doing:
 I kept thinking, "Once I make more money, then I'll hire help. It's fine that I'm still doing all the things myself." But I wasn't making more money because I was doing all the things myself. Maybe you can relate, or maybe in your life, you're doing all the things yourself and you shouldn't be. I finally made that decision: I need to not just invest in support (a virtual assistant), but in a coach to help me be strategic about it. Even though it felt super scary and I felt like "I just can't afford this," it was like "I can't afford not to." Within six months, my income doubled. Why did I wait so long? And I didn't make more because I worked more. I actually started working less. It was because I finally had that time for those high-value tasks, the high-value work, the cash flow activities, and then the strategy to be able to use that time wisely. The Key Lesson Capacity doesn't scale. Only supported capacity scales. Let me say that again: Capacity doesn't scale. Only supported capacity scales. The two ways to implement this are to hire support to do the work and hire support to coach you, give you strategy and share their proven tools. The Real Cost of the Capable Woman Trap 1. You Turn Down Opportunities You end up turning down opportunities because you just don't have the bandwidth:
Even if you're like "Diane, I would never give up a client opportunity," you might do it in other ways. I was invited to speak at an event. There wasn't really any pay involved (this was earlier in my business), but it was an opportunity to position myself and make an offer. All I needed to do was send them my speaker one-sheet. But because I had to make it myself, I missed the deadline, and they moved on to someone else. That's missing out on an opportunity. 2. You Resent Your Own Success You're really successful, but you're drowning. You're hitting your goals, but you're miserable because you're doing everything yourself. 3. You Take the Long Road You learn as you go instead of learning from someone who has already done it. Or you try to figure out the templates yourself, the strategy yourself, the scripts yourself, the how-tos yourself without just borrowing from someone else who's now providing support in an advisory role.  You don't have to figure out tech for six hours. You can just hire someone to do it in 30 minutes. You don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. You can get that advice from others, put it into place, reap the rewards, or get support to get the things done and then reap those rewards. Shift from Capable and Alone to Capable and Supported I don't want you to stop being capable. You are capable. That's not the question. But capable plus being supported beats being capable alone every time. If you think "I love being capable," great, still be capable, but get some support. I remember reading something about Oprah that said, "I had a coach to be successful, and when I was successful, I didn't drop my coach. I got more coaches."
Are they capable? Absolutely. But they're smart enough, wise enough to realize "I can't do it all myself." Do they do everything alone? Never. Because they know support isn't a luxury. It's a requirement as you get to higher levels and as you build from the level you're at into that six-figure and multi-six-figure, up to seven and beyond. The Question Isn't "Can I Do This Alone?" I know you can. And you've probably proved it time and time again. The question is: What's possible when I don't do it alone? That's such a fun question. Sit with it for a moment. What's possible when I don't do it alone? What Support Actually Looks Like It's not about being weak, it's not about being incapable, lack of independence, lack of being self-reliant. No, it's strategic. You don't find multi-million-dollar companies having their CEO answer the phones, make the social posts, and manage their inbox. There are teams for that, there are people for that. Support can be: 1. Handing over work to a virtual assistant for $25 an hour so that you can focus on tasks that are $500 an hour (this doesn't mean you go organize your desk and take a nap during your work day. You still get the stuff done, but you don't have to work beyond your hours) (Want to chat about having one of my VAs support you? Book a time to chat here. 2. A coach who has already walked the path that you're trying to walk. A lot of times, coaches and business owners hire me because they say, "Diane, I know you've done that before. I want you to show me. I want you to give me the insider scoop. I want you to help take something that would take me years to do and help me do it in months, or months to do and help me do it in a day." 3. A mastermind of peers who challenge you, who champion you 4. A team member who handles what you're not good at (like those sales calls) or the things you don't want to do (like your taxes and your bookkeeping) 5. Someone sharing their systems and templates so you don't have to figure it out, you can just follow what they have done My Invitation to You If you've been listening and thinking, "That's me, I'm the capable woman, I've fallen into this trap," then I want to invite you to: The Wealth Shift This last week, I held two events called The Wealth Shift, where I talked about the ways that you can shift yourself to be able to make the kind of wealth that you're wanting to have. This capable woman trap is one of the pieces that I trained on. If you are local or are willing to travel to North Vancouver, BC, then please email me [email protected] to learn about one of our upcoming events. If you are virtual, too far away, and you want to be at our online training, please sign up for the waitlist, because once I have enough people, I'm going to hold that. Dynamic Wealth Accelerator I invite you to my newest program The Dynamic Wealth Accelerator. It's a two-day intensive where one of the things we do is we map out your support structure. Not in theory, not someday when you can afford it, but we map it out now:
Here's what I know: You can't scale doing everything yourself. You won't. You'll reach a threshold where you can't get past a certain place, and you deserve to not be trapped in your own capability. We're also going to go through:
If you want to learn more about the Dynamic Wealth Accelerator, I encourage you: reach out to at [email protected]. Let's get you out of that capable woman trap and into that ecosystem where you're supported, you're not alone, and you can really start to live the life you're meant to live, that freedom life, and have the type of wealth that you're really looking for. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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