The Signs of Being an Imposter and Strategies to Prevent Yourself from Feeling like a Fraud.

In my previous blog, I shared the six common factors that can cause you to feel like a fraud. As promised, today, I’ll share the common signs of being an imposter and the strategies you can use to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud. 

Common signs of being an impostor
If you're not sure if you are feeling like a fraud, then let's look at some common signs of being an impostor. 

1.) Overwork
You may overworked and be doing it on purpose. You take on more work to compensate for feeling inadequate. 

2.) Attributing success to luck 
Do you attribute your success to luck rather than skill? You find yourself saying, “No, I just got lucky. Right place. Right time. Great team.” You don't actually just receive acknowledgment. Do you give your success to others? 

3.) Fear of being found out
Do you have a fear of being found out? For example, that people will find out that it's your first time writing a report or taking on a big client? Or you're waiting for that email where the client will say. “Actually, no, I don't want to work with you anymore” because you feel like that's coming. 

These are some signs that maybe you are feeling like a fraud. 

What I’ve seen
When I put out the Dynamic Women Success Secrets book with 52 other authors, it was fascinating because a lot of the authors didn't want to promote the book. I asked, “Why not? This is a big accomplishment.” I didn’t get a clear answer.

When it came to the party, not only were many of the authors not inviting their family, friends, network, clients—they weren't even going to show up themselves. That was shocking for me because I was thinking, “This is a major accomplishment. You need to be there. We want to celebrate you and have you autograph the books.” 

Eventually, I learned from some of the authors that they didn't feel like real authors for many reasons. 

1. They said, “Well, I didn't write the whole book. Therefore, I'm not really an author.” I’m like, “Yeah, you're a collaborative author. You're a co-author. You're definitely an author. “
2. They said, “Well, you had someone who helped edit it.” I said, “So? Major authors have editors, why would you not have an editor? You should actually have three editors. 
3. They said, “Well, what I shared wasn't actually that great.” They're downplaying it and pushing aside the value of what they're offering. 
4. They said, “Diane, you published it. It was too easy. I actually didn't really do much work.”

It's interesting how all of these factors made them feel like a fraud, even though by definition, they were a published author, and should be celebrating it. 
In your life, maybe in some place, you feel like a fraud.

Maybe you're hiding things. Maybe your career isn’t what you want it to be. Maybe your marriage isn't that great, and you're hiding that because there's no right place for you to share it. That's okay. I encourage you, though, to go find somewhere where you can share about these. 

With my coaches and the ones who support me in a really deep way, I joke with them and say, “I think I just pay you to hear me cry.” Because when I go to them, I bring my mess. I bring the rawness. I bring the pieces that are the hardest for me to handle so that I can be magnificent in the world. I'm not going to divulge every single little thing that I'm struggling with. But that helps me to be able to be real with you about things I'm going through. 

If you feel like a fraud and are not being real about how you feel, please make sure you have someone in your life who can support you. 

Strategies to prevent yourself from feeling like a fraud. 
I'm going to discuss some strategies for getting over feeling like a fraud and some real solutions so you can start stepping into the confidence of being in that position.  

Here are the three main things:
Strategy #1: Change your mindset. 
Anytime you have these negative beliefs, limiting beliefs, saboteurs that come up, you need to challenge what they're saying to you. For example, if these authors’ saboteurs said, “You're not really an author,” then challenge that. “Am I really an author? Yeah, my book is on Amazon. I have a book in my hand. I'm autographing the book. My name is in the book. I am an author.” Challenge the negative thoughts. 

If you think you didn't write something worth reading, ask someone. “What do you think about what I wrote?” Ask me, “Diane, why did you put me in the book? What did you think about my piece?” Get that feedback so you can overcome those negative thoughts. 

Practice some self-compassion
Treat yourself with some kindness. Be like, “Okay, I feel a little bit off here. I feel like I maybe don't belong here.” 

I've had those thoughts, maybe being at a party where everyone is wearing all the top brands and talking about facelifts or botox or whatever. I'm like, “Well, I definitely don't fit in here. I've got some work to do, or things to buy before I can.” 

Then I just gave myself some kindness and understanding that I am who I am. I don't have to be like everyone else. Being myself, I can speak freely as myself and I don't need to pretend that I'm anything else. 

Celebrate your achievements. 
I talked about this a lot, especially in the Dynamic Year program and the Dynamic Year journal, because by writing down every week all your achievements and positive feedback that you get from others in that journal, you're going to start to lock it in your brain that you're pretty amazing. There are all these reasons why you’re amazing. Instead, a lot of times we're looking at finding all the negative reasons why we're not that amazing. But if you have all of these really great reasons why you're great and have accomplished, you start to build that confidence. 
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Strategy 2: Seeking some support. 
I've already kind of mentioned this a bit. Have people in your life where you can be real, and you don't have to feel like a fraud. You have friends, obviously, but then make sure you have some professional friends if you're in a career, make sure you have mentors at work, who you can get support from, who can help you when you do feel like a fraud. For example, you say, “I have to give this presentation. I've never given this type of presentation. I've never worked with this high-end client type before. Can you help me? Can you look things over? Can you give me feedback?”

Then, have a coach or someone who can help you through these feelings. They will be able to call out your brilliance, give you valuable perspectives that you can use, and they’ll reassure you. 

I have people and coaches in my life whom I can reach out to and say, “Tell me why I'm awesome. Tell me I can do this.” I get in those places where I think that the first step didn't go very well, so this next thing won't either.

You need people to cheer you on. If you don't believe in yourself, hire people who do. That's going to really make it easier. Plus, when you're part of a group, or you have a coach who can support you, they can also give you strategies. They can also be good brainstorming partners. They can also share their experience of how they did things, and even how they were worried about something. 
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Strategy 3: Be practical
Potentially, you're not going to be on the New York Times bestseller list with your very first book. The very first video you make, you're not going to get a Grammy for it. You're not going to go viral on your first video. Some people will, but most people won’t. 

Set realistic expectations for yourself because it's not going to all be perfect. You're not going to be mastering something the very first time. Just focus on continuous learning one step after another. 

If you have a disappointment, grab the learning from it and just grow from it. Anytime you have to face challenges, it's not a challenge, because you're a fraud. It's a challenge because you haven't experienced it yet. You haven't learned it yet.

You can focus on this being a moment of, “Oh my gosh, they're going to find me out” or “Oh, wow, this is a cool opportunity for me to improve, for this to make me more competent and be able to master it.” 

Wrapping Up
I just want you to remember that so many people experience feeling like a fraud or a fake. It's okay to feel this way. It's really normal to feel this way. 

Many times, every time I level up and get into a bigger pond and around bigger players, I feel like a fraud wondering, “Do I really fit in here? Am I really a high-income earner?” 

In the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) community, “Am I really someone who is a VIP level and gets to attend this event? Am I really this person?” 

Don't let that stop you from recognizing your true worth and value in the world. You're not alone. Many people have felt this in many parts of their lives, even at the top success levels, you're going to feel it. Don't think you've got to outgrow it. You're going to keep feeling it. You just need to put the tactics into place so that it doesn’t stop you. 

The key is to not let it define you. Yes, it's maybe a feeling of “Oh, I feel like a fraud.” You feel like a fraud, but you are not a fraud. If you're saying, “I'm a doctor,” and you're not really a doctor, then okay, yes, you're a fraud. If you say you're a coach, but you didn't take any training to be a coach, then you're a fraud. 

As long as you are authentically doing what you say you're doing, then that's fine. I encourage you to share. I would love to hear how you have felt like a fraud and where in your life. If you have other coping strategies, I'd love to know them as well. 

The Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook is a really great place where we can support each other. You're going to be able to share those thoughts there. Share in the group how this blog has impacted you. And if it did, feel free to share this blog with someone who might benefit from it. 

I also wanted to make sure you heard that we're starting to put together the next collaborative book, Dynamic Women Leadership Secrets book. We are doing a call for collaborative authors right now. If you'd like to learn more about that, join our free info session on June 26. Save your spot here.

If you feel like a fraud about being an author or writing a book, this is a great opportunity for you. 

Don't feel like a fraud. Put some of my strategies into place and stay dynamic!

Read my other blogs:

1. What Are You Waiting For
2. The Power of Accountability
3. Sometimes I Feel Alone