Why Every Year Feels the Same and How to Break the Cycle

Let me guess: you've worked hard, you've checked the boxes, you've achieved so much this year, and yet, if you're being honest, every year feels the same. It's not that the same things are happening, but it just feels the same - not that amazing, or it was amazing but just feels a little bit empty.

This is because go-getters like us often face this cycle. We're living on autopilot, we're living life by default acting like… “What's next, what's next, what's next” and then we start to feel disconnected from our purpose. I will share today about why this is, what happens, the problem, and some insights around it. I'll give you some solutions and invite you to a really cool, new, yet proven over-a-decade program that I know is really going to make your life change.

​What happens
​I see a lot of coaches, trainers,

speakers, high-achieving women, go-getters, driven, A-types who have the promotions, the achievements, the family milestones, and are being acknowledged for a job well done, but they still feel like something is missing.

I’ll tell you a little story about a client of mine. We're going to call her Marianna, and she came to me at the top of her career, doing exceptional. She said, "Diane, basically, I have plenty of money. I have a great career. I have achieved so much this past year, and I have many other accomplishments, yet I kind of got to this point and I think, 'Is this it?' What else am I missing?"

This was in, November - and she says, "I look back at my year, and I think, what is missing? What am I missing that will light me up? That's going to make me feel different. It's like it's Groundhog Day, over and over and over again. Yes, there are new successes, new achievements, and new projects. But there's something missing inside," and if you have been feeling like something inside is different or missing, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. There's this emptiness that can come. 

High-achieving women like us, we often fall into this cycle of doing and doing and doing more rather than ‘being’. I'm not just talking about ‘self-care being’. Let's just sit and let's go to the spa and let's meditate - no, like the being of really being present, listening to our emotions and feeling them, and being in that place of being able to hold space and not jumping ten steps ahead, and being in enjoyment and being where you can listen to your intuition. You have self-awareness. There's so much more here on the being side.

But you see, high achievers, we are pushed by the external and the achievement, and that's amazing, and that's why we are so successful, why we've got to where we are, but that also can lead to things like burnout, loss of purpose, and a feeling of stagnation. 

You wouldn't necessarily say, "I am stuck," but you’re not moving as much as you want, and the year feels like the last year. They start to blend together, even though you might say, "Well, that was the year I accomplished this," or "That was the year I had that happen."

You may set goals like 

• "I'm going to lose 10 pounds," or 
• "I'm going to make 10K more per month," or 
• "I'm going to spend more time with my family," 

But the goals are just that - they're goals. They feel almost uninspired. We can feel disconnected from them and disconnected from what really lights us up. 

What lights you up?

I was asked this years ago when I was on stage at a program. "What lights you up, Diane?" I was like, "Oh, what lights me up is when my clients have a breakthrough."

They responded, "Really? You have a young child. I thought you would have said your child lights you up." I was like, "Oh, right," because I went into default answer. 

• Default answer: my clients. 
• Default answer: my business. 
• Default answer: my achievements. 

I was disconnected to what really lights me up, which was the moments of joy on my daughter's face, that wonder of a child, or the giggle of my son when he was a baby. These things are not just around children or people who light you up, but what things light you up? For me the other ones are playing soccer, being at the beach, travelling, my faith and so much more.

I can remember working with a client who was working probably 80 hours a week, extremely successful, confident in what she does, and yet felt really nervous about taking time off. She said, "I just don't know what I like anymore. What will I do with my time off? What do I like to do for fun?" 

The deeper issue here is that when we live by default and we're going towards our goals and our achievements - as great as those are - we start to move away from intentionally designing our life and our year based on our deeper, true desires and values.

We don't have time for those because as we're busy doing the achievement piece, we can drift further and further away from our desires, our values, what lights us up, what puts us in resonance, that energy, that flow - the things that you could do for hours or for days. We love it so much we don’t think about eating or taking a break or anything. What is that for you?

I know that when I am facilitating, when I'm leading, and I love when I'm leading I don’t need anything because I’m in such resonance, I even forget about going to the bathroom, even though when I'm at my desk by myself, I probably have to go every hour or more. When we think of it, how much of our lives are we spending in that joy place, in what lights us up?

Why this happens

Why does this happen? Why do we get into this place? 

Now, I shared a little bit about because we're doers, I shared a little bit about because we're driven. We're going for the achievements and the goals. But a lot of that also comes from societal pressures. The pressure to be good, the pressure to achieve, the pressure to be everything to everyone, all the time.

The…

• best mom
• best boss
• best business owner 
• best in your career title
• best wife
• best friend
• best daughter
• best sister

Let's just continue with all the roles we have, right?

There's a lot of societal pressure. There's no real push or pressure from society saying, "Connect with what you really love and go do that," at least not in this North American style. 

Then there's fear of change. Especially as we're getting older. I'm 45 now, but I find there's more of a fear of change because we get set in our ways, and we know that when we change things majorly, it can affect those around us, especially if we have employees or staff, spouses, or children.

There are a lot of pieces that are already put in place. It's not that we can't adapt to change - we do, we're very flexible. However, we get to that place of asking ourselves, "Do I have it in me? Do I have it in me to change? I don't know if I do." Then these problems also happen because we have a lack of clarity. After all, we're not necessarily spending the time, investing the time to ask ourselves, "What do I really want?"

Then sitting with that and the being so that we know exactly what's coming forward. When I ask myself questions, it's so hard for me to just sit, and I find that so often in my clients. They're like, "Here's the answer, here's the answer, here's the answer." Instead, let’s pause.  I know it’s so hard as a doer, to not be doing. But if you can percolate on it. Sit with that question and come back to it a few times, you’ll get so much more clarity.

I have to take myself for a walk in the forest when it comes to getting clarity on things. Or I need to pray about it, I need to sleep on it, because otherwise, I will just make a quick decision. Or simply, we just don't have the tools. We don't have the process to reflect and plan properly, and I'm going to tell you how you can do that.

But here's an example: 

Most of us, we set our goals based on what we think we should want, or what we think is next in our path, not what truly fulfills us in that resonance piece, that energy piece. That's why so many New Year's resolutions fail. They fall flat because they're not based on deeper wants, deeper desires. We say, "Yes, this is the year that I organize my house, and this is the year that I lose 10 pounds, and this is the year that I make more money, and this is the year that I buy that new car I've always wanted." But it's not coming from this deeper place.

The Solution

How do we break this cycle? Well, there is a process that I've been doing for 14 years now: Reflect, Redefine and Realize. Every single year, I go through process which is now a proven process because not only have I done it for years, I took two other coaches through it, and then I moved it over to working with clients and taking clients through it. In the past, it was called Dynamic Year, and now it's called The Breakthrough 2025.

I take you through my three-step process. 

Reflecting - We're looking back at the past year to take golden nuggets from it so that we can move forward. 

Redefining - Setting the foundation for the next year by using The Breakthrough Blueprint process, so that your plan is really rooted in intention, authenticity, and your purpose. Not just the doing, but the being. So it helps you to be super confident in life and with what excites you.

Realizing - It's great that we make the plan, we look back and we reflect - but then we need to be able to realize it. We turn that Breakthrough Blueprint into reality with inspired action and intentional steps. This final step is the one that helps you throughout the year to be able to take consistent action, purpose-driven action, and having the coaching and the tools to help you get there.

Too many people just go, "Boom, here are my goals." Or "Here's my vision board," and they let the magazines, the images in the magazines, or the images they pull online dictate what will be on it. Or, as I said in my last blog, "Oh, this word, this is my theme for the year." They haven't actually gone through a process of being - a proven process - to get these pieces, to get their theme, their guidelines, their values, their new paradigm, and their goals. These five key things that need to be part of their blueprint - they haven't actually gone through a proper process to do it.

It's all great, and you can have some success with it, but the depth of success, the impact of those things, is far higher when you've done it through a process. 

Wrapping Up

My lovely readers, reflect right now about your past year. What would you change if you could? If you're really ready to break the cycle, or if you're just ready to be like, "Actually, my year is good, but I want to be better," or if anything that I said today resonated with you, then I do invite you to join The Breakthrough 2025.

Because really, it's time to stop spinning your wheels, and design a year that you love rather than a year that is made by default. This process that I go through every single year is the reason why people say to me, "How have you had so much success?" or "How do you do all you do, even with young kids? I see you everywhere, and you're doing all these cool things - you must be so busy." I am achieving, but I'm not too busy because I am content and I can achieve my goals faster with my Blueprint.

I invite you to check it out. The Breakthrough 2025 is a full-year coaching, and accountability support program. We do the kickoff on January 6th. 

This is your year. This is your year to have a change. This is your year to break through. This is your time. Let's make 2025 your year of the breakthrough. We're going to plan boldly. We're going to help you to live intentionally and achieve purposefully.

Share this blog with a friend, as we know sharing is caring, and if you really want to lift others up around you in 2025 to the level that you're at, or at least to make things better and easier for them as well, then share these blogs with them. 

Until next time, stay dynamic!

Read my other blogs:

1. Designing Your Breakthrough Year: How to Start Now
2. From Reactive to Proactive: Designing a Life You Love
3. How The Belief “It’s Never Enough” Sabotages Your Happiness