Why You’re Not Reaching Your Goals (And What You Actually Need)

If you've ever wondered "Why am I not reaching my goals?" or "Why does it take so long?” in this blog, I'm covering exactly that. 

Not with tough love, but with real insight from the women who have joined my She's Goaled Coaching Mastermind over the years. Because there's so much to learn from what they said at the start and where they ended up.

The Goals Were Different. The Needs Were the Same.

When I look back at the goals that women brought into She's Goaled over the many years and many different groups, the goals were all different:

• Starting a new business while keeping a current one going
  
• Building a business, exercising more, eating better, and getting the home organized
  
• Creating two separate websites generating significant income
  
• Learning Amazon sales
  
• Getting healthier, finishing home renovations, improving relationships
  
• Having more time, travelling more, being more present with family
  

Different goals. Vast and varied. But something really stood out to me.

What the women needed to reach those goals was surprisingly similar. 

These women didn't lack ambition. They didn't lack ideas. They had plenty they wanted to accomplish, probably just like you.  Real women have real goals. 

But when I looked at their application and discovery forms before we got started, here's what they said they actually needed:

• "I need focus"
• "I need someone to hold me accountable"
• "Don't let me get away with my excuses"
• "Keep me on track"
• "Call me out when I'm not meeting my goals"
• "I need ideas and strategy"
• "I need encouragement"
• "I need help being more productive"

They already had their goals. That's the beauty of this program. I'm not going to make it worse by having you learn a lot or bring on new goals. You already have things you want to accomplish, goals you want to reach, projects you want to complete, milestones you want to hit. What they really needed and maybe what you need too is the support around those goals.

The Bigger Pattern

While the specific goals changed from woman to woman, the same needs kept coming up underneath them as we went through the program. Almost all of them needed:

Focus. Clarity. Accountability. Encouragement. Perspective. Follow-through.

These are the things I have needed in many areas of my own life too. That's why I have coaches, trainers, advisors, a mastermind or someone else to keep me on track. Because it's so easy, especially when you have kids or aging parents or other things pulling you in, to let go of the things you really want. There are so many fires and so many things pulling for your time, resources, and energy.

This Is Different from Needing Another Course

You want to learn about AI, so you take an AI training course. You want to be a better boss, so you read a leadership book. 

But She's Goaled is different: while you have goals and may need to learn certain things, you don't want to be bombarded with another course full of information and homework.

This just naturally flows along with your life.

Because you’re probably like most accomplished women, you already know a lot. The issue isn't "I have no idea what to do." You probably do know what to do. You're just not doing it.

More often, it's: "I know what I want, but I'm not consistently moving it forward."

Let that land for a second.

What are you not moving forward because other things are getting in the way? Maybe your confidence is stopping you. Maybe you're getting in your own way.

One woman in She's Goaled wrote that it was easy to look at someone else from the outside and help them, but not as easy when she had to do it for herself. You can be incredibly smart and capable. You can be the woman everyone comes to for advice. You can see solutions for everyone around you, and still struggle to see your own situation clearly.

Because you can be brilliant at helping everyone else and still need people who can see in you what you can't see for yourself.

Why Your Goals Keep Getting Buried

She's Goaled exists not because women like you don't know how to set goals. You have lots of goals. You probably have too many.

But most of the time, those goals get buried underneath everything else. Your business, your clients, your family, other people's needs, unexpected problems. What happens if your dishwasher breaks? You have to jump into action, get someone to fix it, or buy a new one, and wash everything by hand in the meantime. And before long, the things that matter most to you are at the bottom of your list.

What changes when you have that support?

• You have somewhere to bring what you've been overthinking about. 
  
• You have accountability for what you said you wanted. 
  
• You get outside perspective when you're too close to the problem.
  

How many times when you tell someone else your problem- a friend, a coworker, someone in a networking group- do they come right back with their problem? There's not that dedicated, specific time. You go into supporting, problem-solving, and encouraging them when you need it yourself.

In She's Goaled, you don't have to figure out every decision by yourself. You don't have to stay up late wondering, "Is this the right next step?" or go down the rabbit hole of the internet looking at what everyone else is doing, or buy another course to figure something out. You have women in the group who understand your ambition and what it's like to have a full life while you're trying to reach your goals.

When life gets busy, your goals don't just disappear.

Goals like These Women

The Woman Who Wanted More Clients

She was struggling to create a clear, consistent strategy. In the first couple months, she had increased her clients and her revenue. But more than that, her confidence grew. She was able to take what she learned and apply it to her next launch, her next product sale.

The Woman with Lingering Projects

She had projects hanging around. Some at home, some in her business that she just couldn't seem to finish. Once she got a step-by-step plan in place, she said: "Oh my, why did I wait so long?" She started checking things off and dropping the weight of "This is still on my plate."

The Woman Who Bought an RV

She was putting off the next stage of her life. She wanted to downsize and felt that urge for more adventure but wasn't sure what that looked like. With the coaching, the accountability, and the group support, she ended up getting rid of her stuff, selling her house, buying an RV, and starting to travel while running her business, all within a couple of months. Her confidence and momentum were thrilling for the whole group.

I often say She's Goaled is like a speed course for your goals because that's what happens. You get going, and you just fly.

The Goals Don't Have to Be the Same

That's what I love about She's Goaled. Yes, a lot of women come in wanting to build their business, get more clients, make more sales. But we don't limit it to just business.

One woman might be growing her business as her first priority. Another might be launching something new, like me with my one-woman show Chasing, or someone launching a book. Another might be creating more time and financial freedom. Another might be finishing something she's talked about for years, or building her health.

The goal doesn't have to be the same. But it does share that willingness to take what you want seriously. This group is an incubator to make that happen.

The Question Worth Asking

Maybe you have goals right now that you are not achieving, not reaching. And with what I'm sharing, you're thinking: these are the things I actually need. These are the things that are going to help me move forward.

Ask yourself: What would it look like six months from now when I’m in She’s Goaled?

The hard truth is six months are going to pass either way. You have to think about the thing you've been saying you want… maybe for months, years, or even your whole life. You don't necessarily need another idea. You need the right support around the ideas, goals, projects, launches, and dreams you already have.

Fast forward and imagine looking back from six months in the future, realizing: I really did it. I made the decision. I finished the project. I grew the thing. I stopped putting myself at the bottom of the list. I didn't have to do it alone, and I'm glad I didn't, because it was so much more fun and produced much better results.

If nothing changes about the way you're currently approaching your goals, where will you be six months from now? The same? More frustrated? Will you have burnt through the confidence you had?

Are you happy with the answer to where you'll be six months from now if nothing changes?

If not… or if you think "Yeah, I'll be okay, but could it be bigger? Could it be better?" — then I'd love to have you in She's Goaled.

Applications are closed September 4th at 11:59 PM Pacific. If you know you want more clarity, coaching, accountability, and women in your corner, take a look at the details and apply. Your goals may look completely different from every other woman in the room. Great. You're going to learn a ton from them. 

The key thing is: you don't have to reach them alone.

Six months are going to pass either way. The question is… what do you want to be different when they do? Who do you want at the finish line when it happens? 

Until next time, stay dynamic!

Listen to the full Dynamic Women podcast episode here.​

Or watch the full YouTube Video here.