You’re the Woman Who Wins: Confidence and Identity Shifts for Female Entrepreneurs

Have you ever looked back on something you did in the past and thought, “Who was I then? How was I so confident, yet so naive—or so new and fresh at what I was doing?”

The truth is, you achieved it because you decided to be confident—or whatever quality you needed at that moment. Your identity drives your success, habits, energy, visibility, and results.

Because you don’t get what you want. You get what you believe you are.
And that’s what we’re diving into today: confidence and identity shifts for female entrepreneurs.

The Chicken and the Egg

Do you become confident because you’ve done the things, or do you first decide to be confident and then achieve?

In high school, I decided I’d be the graduation MC. My mom said, “I don’t understand how you could ever do that.” But I thought, I’ve never done it… I’ll just step into the role. 

Being naive meant I had fewer expectations. I didn’t need to know how to do it or even expect a great result. I just gave it a try and loved it.

Same thing with rugby. As a rookie varsity kicker with everyone watching, I had to walk up like I was confident. At that level, every kick could win or lose the game. So I became the person who would do well and thankfully, I kicked 7 for 7 in that first university game.

Your Reflection Point

As you read this, ask yourself

- Where can you choose to be more confident?
- Where can you be more of who you want to be (the person who wins)?

I’m going to share the benefits, obstacles, and problems if ignored and a call to action you can implement in your life, business, or career.

From Faking It to Owning It

This idea that you can actually be the person who does something, who wins, who's confident before you achieve it. That's the whole idea of faking it till you make it. But instead of faking it, you're going to actually own that quality. 

Whatever you need to do to be able to own that quality, it's actually going to help you more so than actually doing the task, because it's going to help you to get into a place of ‘being’ when you go to do the ‘doing’.

The Benefits

1. Fast Track Your Growth:  When you make aligned decisions from your empowered identity, you skip steps because you’re already being who you need to be to reach those milestones.
   
2. Magnetic Confidence: I've seen speakers who were terrible, but so confident that you think, "Wow, good for them." I've seen speakers with great content who weren't confident, and you felt uncomfortable watching them. When you own your confidence (whether loud and proud or calm, steady, and grounded), people are drawn to you.
   
3. Stop Doubting Yourself: You start embodying your future self now. In coaching, we often do “future self” exercises. I remember meeting mine 15 years ago—she felt so distant. But embracing her essence helped me grow into her. One day, I realized I was her.
   

A Quick Fact: Identity-based habits (who you see yourself as) are three times more likely to stick than outcome-based goals. Believing "I am a healthy person" works better than "I will do healthy habits." Believing in who you are matters way more than the plan of what to do.

Many clients say, "I just don't know why I'm not motivated to do these things," or "I feel like an imposter." These feelings happen even as we reach new levels of success. But if you anchor into who you believe you are—and act from that identity—you’ll see greater results.

The Obstacles

1. Waiting to Feel Ready: A client once told me, “I don’t feel like an author.” The funny part? She’d already published a book. Another said, “I’ll launch my program after a few more courses.” I reminded her, “If I booked you for a talk tomorrow, you could deliver eight workshops right now.” She laughed and said, “You’re right.
2. Letting Old Stories Define New Opportunities: We focus on actions and outcomes instead of who we are being. 

• “I didn’t do well in that sales call before, so I won’t now.”  “I didn’t get that speaking gig, so I won’t this time.”
• “I failed in that relationship, so I’ll fail again.”

When I spoke in the U.S. for the first time, doing both the opening and closing keynote at a convention, I thought, I’ve never done this before. Then I reminded myself, I’ve spoken at Canadian events. I’ve delivered keynotes before. I’m capable. I transferred confidence from past experiences and it worked.
If you’ve never done something before, look at other times you faced fear and succeeded. Transfer that strength forward.
3. Playing Small to Seem Relatable or Likable: High-achieving women… this one’s for you. We often play small to avoid making others feel insecure or jealous. We downplay compliments: “Oh, this old thing?” But doing that hides your brilliance. You don’t need to dim your light to make others comfortable.

The Problems If Ignored

1. Other People Will Take That Spot: If you're like, "I'm not going to apply for that award," or "I'm not going to see if I can speak at that conference," or "I'm not going to launch that book," someone else will, and you'll be kicking yourself. You'll be stuck in that old identity of "I'm not a person who can do this." But you know, there's this little voice that's saying there's more, and I can do more. I’m not saying “do more just to do more.” I’m saying: you have dreams that require you to step into the energy of “I’m someone who wins.”
   
2. Confusion in Your Business Direction: If you just keep going and waiting for actions to build confidence or make you someone who wins, you're going to feel unclear and unaligned. You’ll change directions, take shortcuts, or stay complacent.
   
3. Allowing Your Circumstances to Limit Your Next Level: That's the saddest thing. We are always evolving. I was talking to a brand-new client. She was sharing about her business and how far she's gotten with it, and then she was talking about where she wants to go next. She's like, "Yeah, but I've never done that." And I reminded her, "Yeah, but look at you. A few years ago, you hadn't done any of the stuff that you now know how to do and are doing in your business." The person she was on day one was very different from the person I met, and she'll be even better in three to six months after working together. We’re always evolving and the next version of you is waiting.
   

One Last Story

I have been very grateful that I have been given some naive confidence at some parts in my life. I've also been very blessed to have a mother and a father, who believed in me so much. My Mom would say, "You can do it." I would be in times in my life where I'd lack confidence, saying, "I can't do this." And then I'd change my thoughts, "No, but mom says I can. I don't know how, but mom believes I can, therefore I can." I've just stepped into that false confidence, almost that inflated-by-somebody-else confidence, and I've stepped up.

Still, I’ve had moments where I downplayed my expertise, stayed quiet, or acted like a student instead of a leader. Even though other times, I stepped up and showed who I truly am.

It's not always easy. I get it. It's not always easy to be confident. But could you pick that you are going to be the woman who wins? Can you? Someone's got to win. So could it be you? It totally could be.

Your Call to Action

I want you to finish this line. Maybe "win" or "confident" aren't words for you. But if you were to finish the statement, "I am the woman who..." and you add in an adjective. Is it…

• "I am the woman who wins."
  
• "I am the woman who is confident."
  
• "I am the woman who is relentless."
  
• "I am the woman who is abundantly creative.”
  

"I am the woman who..." How would you fill that in?

I'm really curious. Let me know. Email me: [email protected], or comment below.

What would it be like if, after you made that statement, "I am the woman who...," you started acting like her today? Not once it's proven, not once you say, "Oh, okay, I am a woman who's confident because I did X, Y, Z," but just decide that you're going to be it.

I promise you that if we spent a little time together, I could probably find many instances where you have been these things, and we could easily transfer them over, because honestly, waiting for the actions to happen is going to be much harder than just deciding today to be that woman. 

Identity precedes action. You got this!

If you haven't yet, share this with a friend. 

The next bunch of blogs that I have coming up are bolder. They're more powerful. I was in this energy for a while of really wanting to speak to you in those moments of obstacle and hardship and overwhelm and not feeling like yourself and things not going your way. Now we're on the up. Now we're in this area of more boldness, more power, more being unapologetic, stepping into that motivation, that inspiration to get you moving towards your goals.

I just brought on a few new clients, though I do have two more spots for one-on-one coaching clients. If this is something that you have been pondering, or you're curious about, email me: [email protected] and let's have a chat.

Until next time, stay dynamic!