Wait a second, I actually reduce my fear by taking small, scary steps? Yes, that is exactly what I am saying!
I’ve just reached six years in business and my growth has kept pace with my daughters’. I was still in the early stages of business startup when she was born. In my newborn stage I wasn’t completely secure or confident in all areas of my business. But fortunately, I observed how to gain confidence through taking small steps at a time.
My growth has unfolded in the process of reasonably pushing my boundaries a little further every month. I like to make that distinction because so often I encounter clients who go after these massively huge goals with a lot of excitement and then fear shows up and stops them dead in their tracks. Can you relate?
Let me share a few reasons as to why this happens and a few tools you can use to shift your perspective and start harnessing the power of small, scary steps.
How we perceive goals makes a big impact in what we do with them and how we act (or don’t). Somewhere along the way we bought into the story that goals have to be HUGE to be ‘good enough’. We also adopted the belief that the outcome of the goal is the only point. We believe the result we create is the only thing that dictates success or failure. Do you hate setting goals? Could it be because of these beliefs?
Let’s shift perspective by considering:
- The size of the goal has no relation to the power it has to move you forward in confidence & growth, ie. big things come in small packages.
- The process of who you become in completing a small, scary goal has big value and long term traction, ie. we acknowledge process goals as well as outcome goals.
Can you think back to watching your child go from rolling over to sitting up? There were lots of small developments in between. And learning to sit was a precursor to developing the core muscles needed to walk. It makes sense that when goals are out of proportion to where you are now with the skills and resources you have, you may commit to a huge goal but not be able to follow through. Do this enough times and your trust in your own abilities takes a nosedive.
Here are some suggestions:
- Make a stretch goal that is in alignment with the next step of your evolution from where you are now. For example, if you dream of running sold out seminars but public speaking scares you, start with emceeing small networking events.
- See a goal as a series of phases carried out over time instead of trying to do everything at once. Otherwise you are in constant learning mode and that is exhausting! As moms we have to be conscious of our energy expenditure!
- Shift your perception to embrace process goals vs. outcome goals. Focusing only on the result misses the huge value of noticing who you are becoming while working on the goal. The personal pride you can take in doing something that scares you for the sake of doing it can be immediately gratifying and confidence boosting.
By consistently doing things that are a little bit scary you work up your confidence muscle in pace with who you are becoming. You give yourself time to catch up to your striving. When I first started doing free discovery calls, I was a little terrified of pitching my coaching services. But the more I practiced this, the easier it got until there was no emotion attached to it at all.
Do you think shifting your perspective on goal setting and using small powerful steps could make your business growth feel easier? I’ve noticed it certainly changes the nature of how we do things and how much joy and confidence we feel when we do. Approaching ourselves with the same nurturing touch we give our kids makes room for celebrating our growth too.