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Are you feeling absolutely ready to say goodbye to 2021? I get it. I see it. I hear it everywhere. Everyone's just ready for 2021 to be done and to start 2022 with new energy, new possibilities and positivity. I get that this year almost feels like last year. Time is just running into itself. These past two years have had their own share of struggles, but as always in closing off one year and starting another, we can feel like we get a fresh start on January 1. Picture a dog coming out of the water. What does it do? Shake! Yes! It shakes off all the water and you don't want to be nearby when it does because you'll be sure to get wet. But it's that feeling of release, freshness and shaking off what you don’t need anymore.  So how can we properly shake off 2021 and close it off in the right way so that you feel prepared for 2022? Maybe you need a RESET! I’ll share with you the 3 benefits of doing a proper goodbye to 2021 AND I’m gifting you the chance to do it together to properly ring in the New Year. I really want to speak about the importance of doing this because so often we just get wrapped up in the holidays. We are so excited about Christmas and family and maybe we overindulge. I totally overindulge in chocolates, festive drinks, mulled wine and all the lovely foods. Benefit #1: We need closure The first reason why we need to be able to close off 2021 properly is closure. We always need closure. Even if some bad things happened in your life, like tarnished friendships, being fired from a job, or some unsaid business, there can still be closure. You can't watch a movie and turn it off 10 minutes before the end and not know what happens. There's a part of our minds that knows it’s not finished. The same goes for the year. When you give proper closure to 2021, it means you can open up a new year. By closing off one thing, you can open up another. There's often a saying around, you have to close one door to be able to open another and this is the exact same reason. We need closure from 2021. Benefit #2: We need release The second thing about saying goodbye to 2021 is to release us from what 2021 held over us, and what it did to us. Maybe the sadness, grief, disappointment, or frustration.  Have you ever jumped into a cold pool on a hot day? Then you know that refreshing feeling. It makes you feel alive, you feel awake, you drop the feeling of heaviness and are instantly refreshed. You release the bad as if it’s a bag you’ve been carrying around and can step more boldly into the New Year. Benefit #3: We need to feel complete Here's the third and final reason that will help you tie a bow on 2021. You need to say goodbye in order to be able to walk away and feel like, “Okay, that's done and I'm okay with how it ended.” If you don’t have closure and you’ve not been able to release, you won't feel complete. You'll feel that there’s a little piece sticking with you and it's taking up space you. It could make you worry or feel stressed. By properly tying a bow on 2021, you're going to be able to walk into 2022 feeling so much better. Even if you had an awesome year, you still need to say bye to it! Here’s my gift. Let's do the 5 Day Reset together, so you can have closure, release 2021 and feel complete and ready for 2022. The five-day reset is a complimentary mini-course. It’s mini because it's the holiday time and so it has a small commitment, but it’ll have a huge impact for you. I've been doing this for many years, and the hundreds if not thousands of women that have gone through this with me have said how profound it was, how simple and easy it was to do and yet so meaningful and impactful. I have to warn you… don’t jump into setting any goals yet. AND Don’t jump into your resolutions, until we do these five steps first. So together, we're going to build your foundation so that you're ready to kick butt in 2022. Even if you don't have the energy to kick butt, at least you’ll feel more confident, and more comfortable moving into 2022. Here are the steps to join!
The 5 Day Reset is going to give you these benefits:
I look forward to seeing you in the 5 Day Reset so that we can close off 2021 and get into an awesome 2022. Wishing you the best.
Diane
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Almost two years since the COVID-19 pandemic started, a lot of people are still struggling without having connections because of the restrictions. Yes, some restrictions may have been lifted, but because of the Omicron variant we’re still far from the normal life that we know.  A client shared with me, “I'm struggling without connection because of all the COVID restrictions, how can I connect with others? I feel so isolated.” If this is how you’re feeling too, I'm sorry that you feel isolated. I'm sorry that you feel disconnected. The crazy thing is we can feel isolated or a lack of connection really any time! Even when we have lots of things going on and many people around us, not just in COVID times. My heart goes out to these people, especially the people that live alone or the people who work from home and they're alone, or seniors and they live alone. It's going to take three things to break from the loneliness:
Let me share a little strategy: Strategy #1 Tell people you trust how you feel, like your family, friends, loved ones, connections, even acquaintances because maybe they feel the same way. They might not have told you because they think you're busy or that you have it all together. You sharing first could open up their honesty. One of my friends and I have been terrible at keeping in touch. Absolutely terrible, but we love each other dearly. We're not mad at each other about it, just busy and didn’t call each other. So we made a plan to have phone calls once a week, every Thursday morning. She's driving to work, and I'm walking on the trail, and we have a conversation. What I learnt was that the more you talk with the same person, the more you get rid of the fluff that is at the surface, and the more you're able to actually talk about the real feelings that you have, whether it be isolation, loneliness, disappointment, depression, or anxiety.  Strategy #2 If you have some friends, you need to be creative in what you're going to do with them. You can even think creatively.
If you don't have friends, then you need to put yourself out there and start connecting with others. Maybe there is a neighbor that you like who you could invite to go to the park and sit six feet from them. Invite a few people. Maybe there's a local place that is doing virtual wine tastings. You get a bunch of people together and everybody's in their own home trying out the wines. You can also look for places that already have community. There are women's groups like the Dynamic Women community. There are churches. There are other organizations that already have events and groups happening where you can just join in. You can find other people and connect with them. You can go on Meetup.com and see what events are happening because at least some will be virtual and if you prefer you can join some in person events. Some of them might enjoy a hobby that you like. It could be bird watching, video games or great restaurants. Reach out to these types of groups where you know that you're going to focus on a topic that you already like, so you can start to build easy connections that way.  You really have to look for ways you can put yourself out there and connect with other people, and then make it a continuous thing that you do. Just like I have with my call with my friend. Be honest about where you're at because if people don't know that you need to hear from them or want to spend time together then nothing happens. And with all of the people you choose to have in your life know that you can also, design relationships, create some boundaries, an of course open up about how you’re doing. Read more of my blogs here:
1. D.R.I.V.E.: 5 Ways to Motivate Yourself 2. The Power of Baby Steps 3. 10 Honestly GOOD habits to have Are you feeling tired and that you can't work like you used to do when you were younger? There is a common problem that I hear from my clients. It’s an issue that affects female leaders, female business owners, and probably lots of men as well.  I was coaching with a group of clients in my She’s Goaled Program. We were reviewing how their goals went that month. One of them said that she felt she wasn’t getting everything done because she wasn’t at her optimum level of health:
I'm guessing you've had those moments, too. Maybe even today! But the next thing she said was, “I have to remember what my age is and not work like I’m 20 years old again.” What it comes down to is how you want your lifestyle and your every day to look like. This is especially true if you're in control of your own time and is important even if you work a nine to five.  It’s not about age. It’s not about your life before kids. It's about how you want to live your life right now.
Answer these questions as the person you are, not even thinking about age. Think about what you want and what you want your life to look like. If you're tired, try asking yourself: What’s the cause?
I had one client who had so much vacation time banked at her company that she basically could take a whole year off! She was a great employee, but she was working herself into the ground. I asked her, “What do you want?” She said she just wants to work less. She was working 80 hours a week. She wants to have a bigger impact in the work she does, but she also needs to rest. She said she wants to be able to take her time off and doesn’t feel she can. She knew she needed to take it, but she worried. She felt like she couldn't have the same impact that she wanted to have if she was to take time off. Surprisingly, since she also worked so much she worried she wouldn’t know what to do with her free time. If you run a business, maybe you think you can't have the results you want if you take some time off. I'm not saying take a whole month off, but if you want to that's totally doable because that's actually what this client of mine did. Not only that, but she continued to take every single August off moving forward. She also took a personal day every so often. It was a day for herself where she would just book a day off with no major plans and just wake up that day and think:
 If you're at a place where you're feeling like you don't like how things are, you can't handle what you used to handle, or you wish things were different, STOP. Take a moment. Really ask yourself:
It's not about comparing to how life was in the past. It's about getting super clear about how you want life to be right now. What do you want to accomplish, what goals do you want to have, and what priorities are in your life? Basically, it comes down to three words: Design your life. You can actually do that. A lot of times people just go with the default or they settle for what's happening in their life. Or they take options that are presented to them. If you want to balance your life better then I’ve got you covered. For the upcoming Black Friday, I’m offering the Ultimate Success Toolkit which contains tools that can help you reach your goals and surpass the feeling of being tired, busy, and overwhelmed! Grab your toolkit here.  Have you ever had that urgency where you’ve got to make an extra $500, $1000 or even $10000? You may think:
 You tell yourself, “It’s impossible to do it QUICKLY? I don’t know I will raise that kind of money.” You still can feel these negatives around it, and you can still struggle. Why is this an issue for most people I’ve seen people struggle. This came up very recently with a client of mine. I also have had clients in the past, people I’ve met in my masterminds, and even people who’ve come up to me after different events I was speaking at. It's so easy to get overwhelmed, to think how could I possibly make $500 or $2000 in like 10 working days, five working days, whatever it may be. This was my situation about 4 years ago, at a time when I really wanted to hire this high-level coach. I was upping my game, but I'd never put out over $10,000 for a coach before. At just over $13K US and then it was over $17k to work with this coach. I really wanted to do, it would be worth very penny. It was a great investment for my business. The solution I’m going to give you came from that moment. When you feel overwhelmed, you're not going to be able to get focused at all. You're not going to be able to go for it. Overwhelm puts you in that fight or flight. That stressed place. Creativity is gone. Focus is gone. The fog comes in… so do two culprits:
What do you do? Oftentimes, nothing. Otherwise, you're procrastinating, right? The issue is, you're not coming up with a plan. When you are running a business, you need to have a plan. You need to have a system and a process that you go through. The System and Process I would use The system and process I’m giving you now may seem super basic, but it works. This is like the tip of the iceberg. I'm not going super deep into it, just give you an overview of this concept so that you can go and apply it. I want you to be able to be thinking about, “How do I put this together?” Not “This is hard, I can’t.” FIRST STEP: Break it down Ask yourself: “In my business, what is the fastest way to cash?” “What is the fastest way I can get a customer, a client, a patient, or a company to purchase something from me?” The following are examples of actions you can do that can be fastest to cash:
However, there are actions that may NOT be the fastest way to cash. For example, starting a podcast or writing a book. Doing these things that have a longer game to them that take a longer nurture sequence is not fastest to cash. That is a nurturing process that happens over time that will eventually bring in some cash flow for you. So how do you do it? Find what is fastest to cash for you, think of some of those ideas. You really want to be breaking it down into how you're going to get this money earned.  Let's look at this example. If you needed $10,000, what you could do is sell 10,000 units or products at $1 apiece. Now, is that really good for your time? Probably not. It takes a heck of a long time to sell 10,000 products to 10,000 different people, right? You probably need 10,000 clients or at least 5000 clients where everyone buys two. Let's break it down in another way. Could you sell 1000 products at $10 apiece? It could be a workbook, a mug, or a smaller product that you would sell. Now you need 1000 customers to buy a $10 product. Let’s break it down into another option. You could choose a $100 product to sell to 100 people. Are we starting to see how this is a little bit more doable? Could you potentially sell to 100 people in two weeks? Yeah, you totally could. Selling to 10,000 people a $1 item that's a little bit harder. It depends on what your reach is. If you have a really good reach or your item would be something your client could buy lots of, like a pen, then a dollar item could be a good idea. You have to see what your product is and how you would sell it. Let's go to the next level. Could you take a $1,000 product and sell 10 of them? You totally could. That would make sense. Let's go to a higher level. How about an even easier option? Do you have a $10,000 product that you would only need to sell one of them? You only have to sell one! Could you find one buyer in 10 days to buy a $10,000 product? Now depending on what you do, you really have to look at this and think:
 Client’s $4000 sales I did this recently with a client. She needed to make $4000 in sales. I asked her, “Do you want to be selling the $4 product or do you want to be selling the $40 product?” Do you see the difference? Think of how many fewer customers she has to find. That $40 product helped her feel, “This is doable. The fastest to cash option for me is to put a bundle together of $40 for 100 people to buy in the two-week period to get $4000 in sales.” That made so much more sense for a $4 product. Or how about this one? How about 40 people spend $200? That's probably a little bit more easier depending on your product. That would have been another option for her. SECOND STEP: Choose how do you want to do it You break it down, and you figure out how you want to do it. For example, if I'm selling x amount of products, then how do I want to sell them?
Figure out the avenue. Don't pick too many because you want to be able to actually get it done. If you don't know anything about the option (ex. Facebook ads), it’s not the best choice. Unless you have someone in your network you can easily pay to bang that out and get it going. The Clincher This is the thing that I see people screwing up on all the time. You've made this commitment, “I want to make $1k, $4K whatever it may be. Then you start doing other stuff. You're like:
Cut everything else out. You have one goal. Now, this is not how you're going to be every second of every day, but if you have an immediate need for $, everything else needs to go to the wayside.  Let me go back to my example. It was December where I've got birthdays for both my kids, I have two other family birthdays and Christmas. So this is what else happened that one specific December. I go to an event, and I buy a $17k+ coaching package (Worth every single penny. I totally beIieve that.) But I'm like, “Man, I don't want to get a credit card bill that is going to be probably 20 grand because I have other business expenses and many gifts on it.” And I'm doing the full pay option because I'm all in and I'm getting this done rather than the payment plan. That's just the way I like to do it. I like to save money by doing it all at once. I thought, “I have to pay for this ASAP. I'm not pulling from my savings and not pulling from a bank account. I got to pay for this from what I've made.” In that moment, I was like, “Okay, in 10 days, I'm going to run an event. Get as many people in there as possible, and I'm going to offer them something.” I thought, “Am I going to offer an $8,000 program to a big room?” No, that I haven't had time to build up that relationship with them. “Am I going to sell 100 $200 products?” I could but I don't have 100 people in the room so that's not going to happen. Instead what I did is I thought I need about 12 people to buy about a $1500 product so that I can pay this off right away. Now, as I was going into it, I thought, “No, instead I'm going to change this. I'm going to make it $1,000 and I'm going to sell like 17 of them.” At the end of the day, I sold 18. I actually made money. Now, obviously, I still have to put my time into delivering the product. I still have expenses in delivering that product. However, my credit card bill was covered. That investment in that coach was covered. What did I do? I used the steps, what is fastest to cash? Fastest to cash for me is a coaching package. Then, I'm going to break it down. How do I want to do it? I'm going to do a $1,000 product and have 17 people buy. Then, how do I want to do it? I'm going to fill a room with people and hold an event. I had 74 people register in those 10 days. I had 63 show up, which is really high show up rate. Of that, I had 18 purchases. Perfect, right? What did I do? I had to cut everything else out. Why? Because I had a bill to pay. Why? Because I had an event to run. Why? Because I had to prepare my offer. I had to prepare my package. I had to prepare my content. I had to market to get everyone there. I had to be on point for when I was showing up there. I had one opportunity to sell. Now granted, yes, I would have many more opportunities after to nurture and follow up. But I wanted it done that day. I didn't want that on my mind. In your mind, do you feel it is too much stress to have it all on one event, one home party, one online cooking class, one webinar, one masterclass, one training? Is that too much pressure for you? Then pull it back. Give yourself that time and space. You could:
You have to be laser-focused when you want to achieve a financial goal in a short amount of time. It is doable. To make money in a short amount of time you must believe that it is doable, and you have to focus on it. You have to get into action. Getting into action is going to build the confidence that you need to actually pull it off. And choose that breakdown of how many products for how much money. Something that is doable for you potentially or a bit of a stretch, but make sure that it's the doable one. What I love doing that with my clients is:
Now you may not look at me or think of me as a sales and marketing coach. I'm not saying I specialize in it. I will never say that, but I'm a business coach who can do strategy. Why? Because that's what I do in my own business and as you can see I can do it well. If you want to have one of these “Fastest to Cash Strategy Sessions” with me where we figure out how you can get the fastest to cash in a short amount of time, then go to https://bit.ly/FastestToCashSession. By the end you’ll have the clarity on the right approach, the confidence in the strategy and the plan to actually go for it, so you can get great results.
The world is starved for Recognition AND Appreciation. Are you part of the problem? I think a lot of it comes from what would be considered the number one limiting belief, which is “I am not enough."  We are constantly judging ourselves. (And by “we” I mean women.) We are comparing ourselves to high standards. Now maybe not everyone has the same standards, but there’s often at least one of these questions...
There's always judgment. Sadly, it can be by us, by friends, by family, by society, or by culture. It's very easy for us to feel starved for recognition, starved for appreciation because we're needing to feel like we're enough. Now, let me ask you:
First of all, if this is happening to you or happening to those around you, this is how people feel when they are not recognized or appreciated. They feel a little bit like, “Why bother?”
And when you're in that place of “Why bother?” you feel apathetic. You're not driven. You're not driven to achieve. Can you relate to that? What area in your life do you feel underappreciated? Have you done things that have gone unrecognized? You may have been in one of these situations:
 If you are suffering from this, I'm sorry, that sucks! I'm on a mission to teach people to easily combat this. Acknowledge Others If we just change the conversations we're having by doing this one thing I'm going to share, the world would be a better place. If you're doing this action properly every single day:
Simple Solution You can acknowledge others. I'm sure you already know how to compliment someone. You say things like:
Since you know how to compliment, we can now move to acknowledging a person for who they are, what they have done, and who they’re being. This tells the person they have good qualities, they’re liked and they’re more than good enough! It's really simple. It's four words, or it's five words. Five-Word Version The five-word version is “You are a/an + adjective + the role or title that they have (sister, brother, mother, father, friend).” We can acknowledge them for really any role or any title. For example, you can say, “You are a driven entrepreneur." For a more personal example, my daughter made a beautiful “Dream Big” picture. I can say to her, “You are a creative artist” or “You are an imaginative designer." Four-Word Version This is supposed to be super-duper simple. An example is, “You’re a loving mother.” Here, “you are” just becomes “you’re." I want you to be thinking about short and sweet. Just give them the full acknowledgement and drop it there. By acknowledging someone else, you are giving them a word gift. It's an acknowledgement to who they are as a person. You are witnessing something good in them, a good skill, a good quality, or a good trait. How would you feel if you received one of these acknowledgments? Pretty darn good! You’d feel awesome!
Don’t Mess it Up Sometimes when I do this activity with clients or women in my Dynamic Woman Global Community, they want to add on, and add on, and add on more reasons. When you add on the reason why you said the acknowledgment, they might grab onto it and then make it untrue. For example, you go to an event that is really well put together and really well decorated. So you say to the host. “Thank you. You are a fantastic host.” This is a great acknowledgement and well received. But you don’t stop there, you mention the balloon decorations, the platters of food and the music. Now the host doesn't think they’re a great host because they ordered the balloons, the food was catered and your friend organized the music. And it may be fine if you want to maybe add one more adjective. You can say, “You’re a loving and caring friend.” But wouldn't it be nice to use one and make it the focal point or the center of it. You can also drop the title or role and just say, “You're so loving” or “You're so loyal.” But it sometimes helps to give a little context. For instance, if I said to a friend, “You’re so strong.” Is that physically strong, mentally strong, emotionally strong, or strong to get through things? On the other hand, if I said, “You're such a strong athlete.” We know it's physically strong. Giving the title gives some context. Be part of the solution In the beginning, I said that the world is starved for appreciation and recognition. If you are going to help to solve this problem, let's talk about what that would look like. Let's say someone had surgery that they had to face or they're going to be facing, and you said, “You're such a courageous woman,” left it at that, just let that land that's going to positively affect that person's circumstances.  It's going to start to squash and push down the saboteur’s negative thoughts and negative self-judgments and negative limiting beliefs that come up. Acknowledgements are so simple. I encourage you to look for opportunities to give these gifts. They don't cost a cent. With what's going on in the world today, we really need to be seen in a positive way. We need to be reinforced and given that energy of an acknowledgement from someone else and then that will ripple out to others. Maybe they then look to acknowledge others as well. Maybe you will start to get acknowledged more. When you do this in an authentic way, it builds positivity and awesomeness with you and that person. Answer these questions:
This is one aspect of pillar number six in my Dynamic You Program and book where I talk about being Magnetic. When you can do this to connect with others, to be more approachable, and to be positive, people will be drawn to you. This is how I said that you're going to be able to build your network. If you do this action every day, you're going to be able to attract more connections. You're going to build stronger relationships. If you have employees, you'll retain them longer. And overall, you will be happier. It doesn't cost you a thing to say these four or five words. I encourage you to do so. Let me know how many you could do in one day. Could you do 5? 10? A hundred? Let me know how it goes and let me know how the other person responded. How did you make them feel by giving them that acknowledgement? You don't have to ask them. Just check in with them. What do you notice? How did they receive it? I am a coach, a speaker, and I run the Dynamic Women Global Community. It's a place I love to go live. I love to give tips, tricks, and trainings on how to be more dynamic in all areas of life. This Online Facebook Group is a complimentary. You are welcome to join! I appreciate you. I appreciate you because without you being here to read my blogs, I couldn't do the work I do. Thank you very much. Here's a list of my related blogs:
1. I know where your hidden power is... 2. How to Easily Attract Your Dreams 3. 5 ways I am grateful for women who came before What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? When you’re in situations like:
 There are immediate actions that you can take or do to prepare for this happening so that you can stay on top of things and not be overwhelmed. Last year, my father passed away. When that happened, I wasn’t able to do my other tasks such as podcasting because I needed to take care of myself and frankly, I didn’t care about any business tasks. Even answering an email felt like a big task. The only thing I could do well and feel like myself was coaching. In reflection, it's not just about taking care of yourself, it's knowing what to do when life gets overwhelming. How can you prepare for this? I want you to know what to do. How you could feel Life changes in many ways. Problems arise. Problems like:
After life changes in these ways, you can have many feelings. You feel overwhelmed, stressed, annoyed, frustrated, angry, or lost. For me, it was lower patience! I just didn’t have patience with my children. I had to do some mommy timeouts! What is this causing us? Imagine you're juggling all 10 areas of life. You're juggling the kids, your marriage, your house, your health, etc. When one of those balls becomes heavier or more demanding, you tend to drop the other balls!  The issue with dropping the balls is that some of them are made of glass. When you drop them, they will break! When you drop them, you are going to have trouble. You're going to have potentially long-lasting negative effects from it. For instance, when you end up dropping a ball, you’re breaking relationships, losing some clients in your business, not responding to emails, not being prepared for a presentation, not landing a client because you’re showing up in a different way, etc. You don't want that to happen. I know I didn’t. Why this could happen + the negativities So why do you struggle? You struggle because one area of life that's only supposed to be a certain size has now become bigger. When it's bigger, it takes more of your time. It takes more of your mental capacity. This can happen at work, whether you're in a nine to five or a business. When you're working harder in your business or in your job, you have less time for your health, you're not sleeping as well, you're eating poorly, you don't see your friends, you're not eating properly, etc. All these negative things come in! When you're not at your peak in your performance or in your health, it starts to affect confidence and it affects your ability to deal with challenges, it lowers your brain capacity, and how well you can complete your tasks.  You struggle because there's limited time and limited mental capacity that you have. Plus, the emotional strain. You may have encountered a problem and you’re not solid emotionally. You’re not where you need to be. That affects you in many other areas. What you can do to get going Ideally, you have this prepared in advance, so you know what to do when s$&t hits the fan. When life gets crazy and you feel like it’s too much, you just need to stop and think:
At that moment, you might think that you need to sleep, take care of your kids, or finish a project. For you, those are the three things that need to happen. There, you’ve just decided on the most important balls. Those are the glass balls that you can’t drop. The cool thing is, you can let all the other things sit on the back burner. You don't have to worry about them. You can take them off your plate. You don't even have to think about them. When my dad got sick, I set aside some tasks:
I focused on my family, my well-being, and my clients. I checked in with my husband and friends a little bit, but everything else I let go. This is called MAINTENANCE MODE! Go into maintenance mode. What do you need to just maintain your life? This is not meant to be long-term, but if you're experiencing this right now, what areas of life are super important at the moment that you need to prioritize? What I see in my 1:1 clients is they get into chaos. They are trying to juggle every single ball as if they're all glass balls, but they're not. YOU CAN DROP SOME! Your house can be dirty. You don't have to make every meal from scratch. Your landscaping can slide. Maybe you do prioritize your marriage, your health, your kids, or whatever it may be for you. You need to figure out what maintenance mode is for you. Usually, that's three or four areas of life. (Note: different maintenance mode times will need different areas of life.) Here are the different areas of life to help you choose:
Decide which three or four areas that you need your focus. I encourage you to devise a plan for when things get crazy and when you can't juggle everything anymore.  If you already know what you're going to do when s$&t hits the fan, it's so much easier. You can just go on autopilot. You have a plan you can rely on. Remember: You can say “no” to say “yes.” It means you:
Let me know what was most important for you in what I shared today. If you'd like to make your maintenance mode plan and go through your Wheel of Life, or if you need to process a challenge on your life, then reach out to me. Email me at diane@dianerolston.com. Read my other blogs here:
1. Overwhelm with Overwhelmed 2. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions 3. The Power of Baby Steps There is ONE thing that a lot of women do that feels good but hurts them - it’s putting other people's agendas before their own. It's saying “yes” to others before they say “yes” to themselves.  The sad thing is, I see women do this all the time.
I constantly see women putting others ahead of themselves. Side note:
But I'm talking about this unbalance when these statements are true:
And when it gets to that extreme level, it means you take care of other people to honor their values before you honor your own values. So how does this look? Imagine yourself in these two true situations that I heard from my clients. True Story 1: I have a client who is a very loving Mom. The trouble was she wasn’t able to go away on the weekend because her daughter kept dropping her dog off at her house. It was happening a lot and for long periods of time and that meant that this client of mine wasn't able to have the freedom that she wanted. She missed out on so many invites for dinner dates, outings, and trips because the dog couldn’t be left alone. This made her resent her daughter. True Story 2: A client of mine is a very successful personal trainer who has clients in different areas of the city. My client said yes to serving a retired couple at 9am which was a time that worked best for them, which meant my client was travelling through the city during rush hour. Also, she was already serving people in that area later in the day and so it meant she was travelling there twice. This caused her to miss out on adding in another training hour. It took her a lot more time to travel and caused her much stress. If you give all day, there is nothing left for you. When you're busy fulfilling everyone else's agenda before your own, you’ll have nothing left to give. And then along with not focusing on your own agenda, you're also missing out on fulfilling your own dreams. Yes, we need to care for others. And yes, we need to help others, but not to the detriment of ourselves. If we have time for ourselves, our cup gets filled. If we can do the things we want to do, our cup gets filled. If we honor our own priorities, our cup gets full. When our cup is full and overflowing into the saucer that is under the cup, we have more than enough to give. By serving our own needs, wants, priorities, and goals, we then can bless others with the time, energy, and money that we have. When you make more money, you can give more money. When you have more time, you can give more time.  I will leave you with a list of questions that you can ask yourself so you can fill your own cup:
 In the past, I've been known to go out of my way to help others so much that I suffered. And I see it in women all the time. I hope it doesn’t happen to you so have a hard look at how you’re doing and answer those questions. Post your comments about what insights this gave you. We are taught to care. We are taught to give. We are taught to serve. We also need to be taught boundaries and making ourselves a priority. And we can help others once we are feeling enough… once we are filled up... once we have enough to be in a position to be able to give. Read my other blogs:
1. Overwhelmed with Overwhelm 2. Sometimes You Gotta Say No 3. 4 Crucial Questions About Your Life Path In my last blog, I talked about four aspects to supporting your success: networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach. The best is when you can have networking, an accountability group, a mastermind, and a coach all in one group. I share this with my clients. It helps them achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities. Why is this good? Think of an iceberg and water.  When you spread yourself thin and do a lot of different things, you only really get the tip of the iceberg because your bandwidth is so spread apart. When you have ONE group that you're working with to satisfy your masterminding, networking, coaching, and accountability needs, you get to go:
What are the other benefits of having these four things in one? 1. You save time because:
2. You save energy.
3. You save money.
 When I was able to see all of these benefits for myself and how it was a better way of up leveling my business I started looking for it. In the end, I created it for my clients. It was a huge difference. You’re probably searching for something like this - for something that would just ease the burden of all the things you have to get done. A speed course to help you reach your goals, a program that has four in one. Your one-stop shop to help you reach where you want to get to.  This is why I put all my years in my education, my teaching, coaching, delivering workshops, delivering speeches, presentations to groups of people, and all my personal and professional development, put them into one program - the She's Goaled Program. Check it out and apply to be able to reach your goals with the 4 point system. Here are some of my blogs that you may also enjoy:
I’ve struggled in my business at different times. I thought I was making the right decisions based on what others had suggested, but the problem was they weren’t actually doing what they shared with me.  I was constantly reviewing and making changes. Of course those mistakes were really learning opportunities. But the thing is, what if you just knew how to NOT make those mistakes? What I learnt is how quickly you decide to make a change and how fast you take action actually determines how successful you're going to be. If you can't make changes when problems come or you stay in the wrong decision for too long, then you're going to have more negative outcomes. As a coach, they don't teach us how to run a coaching business. So, I did these things: 1. I joined a networking group. Networking groups are great, but the problem was that the networking group I was in wasn't giving me a strong level of information that I needed on how to run a business that's in alignment with me. 2. I hired a good business coach. It was really great working with her. She helped me with business foundations, but I was missing that group interaction. I want a group of people, especially women, to come together and we can move our businesses forward together and I can get some information. 3. I joined a Mastermind. I joined a mastermind, but I wasn’t getting that high-level strategy that I needed from it. This mastermind was self-led wherein the participants were to lead it. I was the only coach and facilitator in the group. I ended up having to run it. That just felt weird. I started to feel like the coach, where I'm not able to chill and relax and just be part of this experience. And so I thought to myself, that's off. That's not right.  4. I had an accountability group. I thought maybe I just need a little accountability group to get things going and help me get things happening. But I realized, these people are not doing what they said they would do. And it was quite frustrating for me because at the time, I was pregnant. I was spending more of my time there coaching them how to reach their goals, and how to actually do what they were supposed to do. It was frustrating. That level of accountability wasn't there. I had a networking group, a coach, a mastermind group, and an accountability partner. They were all serving partial needs for me, but none of it was like fully encompassing all of my needs. It takes a lot of time to attend four different events. It was costing me time and brainpower. Each of them had its own set of requirements and expectations. I couldn't keep my head straight with all those things. It was also costing me money! What I wanted was ONE single track to put my business train on. To be able to just go to one group of people and have them serve all of my needs and get my business moving forward so that I am not wasting my time, energy, mind power, and money. Why isn't there something where a group of people can have the following aspects: 1. Networking - We get together and have networking opportunities. We start referring each other and can use each other's services. 2. Accountability - We can have accountability with someone in charge. Having an actual facilitator, coach, or someone in charge of that accountability can lead to better results so that the participants don't have to hold each other accountable. 3. Mastermind - In some groups, certain people take more time because the time isn’t being managed. When there’s a facilitator to facilitate the timing, everyone gets their time. It's not just the power of the group, but I want someone in charge that knows so many different things. 4. Coaching - Having someone in that group who can coach. The cool thing is, as they're coaching someone else in the group, you can learn so much, too. By being coached in front of others, you also have that feeling of we're in this together.  Which of those four pieces do you like the most? You can have networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach for your life as well in your business. In my next blog, I will share with you the ONE step I took that helped me achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities. You can also read my other blogs:
1. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions 2. Hire Help: 1 of 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 1) 3. 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 2) I’ve been consistently in a state of transition for the past year. Not by conscious design, but more by the acceleration of progress through my goals. Oh and a little by accident. This has meant that there has been a swirling feeling of change going on around me. Almost like I’m changing faster than I even realize. Maybe it’s happened to you. One day you just go, “Oh wow! When did that happen?” or “That wasn’t like that before.” You may be wondering, “Then how does change start?” From what I’ve learnt, what I’ve experienced in my own life and seen with my clients... Change Kicks Off in Three Ways – see which has happened to you recently. 1. We decide Once day you just say I want this in my life or want to achieve this and you do it. This often happens when people say, “I want a new career. I’m going to search what else is out there.” Or you do the opposite and decide you don’t want something in your life and you make the change. Ex, “I don’t want to carry around this extra 20 lbs anymore. That’s it! I’m hiring a trainer.” For me, I wanted to run an online coaching program and have a consistent weekly blog, so I did. I put the plan into place and I made the necessary changes. Awesome fact: We have control over what we want to change. Downfall: Sometimes takes us too long to decide.  photo credit: Vicki's Nature via photopin cc 2. We’re pushed Unlike the 1st style this start comes when we must react to a situation or someone else’s wishes. It can be positive or negative. For example, “We need to move because we’re having another child/the parents are coming to live with us/or we’re going into debt.” We may have eventually made the decision, but in this case we have to make a change like when we’re fired, become ill, or have other pressures from those close to us. For me, I had a marketing consultant contact me about redoing the content on my website and I said, “Yes” which started a whole bunch of changes. Awesome fact: Opportunities to change present themselves or we can get moved out of an area of feeling stuck. Downfall: We do what others want or are forced to react to a decision and feel a loss of control. 3. We act
Basically we just start doing something and that action causes a bigger change. We didn’t decide to cause the change and didn’t realize it was going to happen it just comes. This could show up in a positive or negative way. Like someone staying later at work and missing his or her gym time and gaining weight. Or because they’re working more the boss notices and gives them a promotion. And even their marriage or dating life starts to diminish. For me, I wanted to start a single group for women to come together and form authentic relationships and be allowed to grow both personally and professionally. This was the birth of Dynamic Women in Action which has now grown to over 300 women with five locations. It makes me laugh when people say, “Wow what a great business model.” But that wasn’t my intention it just seemed to happen and I was along for the ride. Awesome fact: We get to truly be in the moment. Downfall: We can make a wrong turn or miss out on the big picture opportunities. So that's how change starts... Your Turn: Do you have your own examples of how one of these three styles of starting change happened in your life? Comment below. Brownie points if you can come up with an example that was two or more of them at the same time. xo Diane |
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