I’ve been consistently in a state of transition for the past year. Not by conscious design, but more by the acceleration of progress through my goals. Oh and a little by accident. This has meant that there has been a swirling feeling of change going on around me. Almost like I’m changing faster than I even realize. Maybe it’s happened to you. One day you just go, “Oh wow! When did that happen?” or “That wasn’t like that before.”
You may be wondering, “Then how does change start?”
From what I’ve learnt, what I’ve experienced in my own life and seen with my clients...
Change Kicks Off in Three Ways – see which has happened to you recently.
1. We decide
Once day you just say I want this in my life or want to achieve this and you do it. This often happens when people say, “I want a new career. I’m going to search what else is out there.” Or you do the opposite and decide you don’t want something in your life and you make the change. Ex, “I don’t want to carry around this extra 20 lbs anymore. That’s it! I’m hiring a trainer.”
For me, I wanted to run an online coaching program and have a consistent weekly blog, so I did. I put the plan into place and I made the necessary changes.
Awesome fact: We have control over what we want to change.
Downfall: Sometimes takes us too long to decide.
2. We’re pushed
Unlike the 1st style this start comes when we must react to a situation or someone else’s wishes. It can be positive or negative. For example, “We need to move because we’re having another child/the parents are coming to live with us/or we’re going into debt.” We may have eventually made the decision, but in this case we have to make a change like when we’re fired, become ill, or have other pressures from those close to us.
For me, I had a marketing consultant contact me about redoing the content on my website and I said, “Yes” which started a whole bunch of changes.
Awesome fact: Opportunities to change present themselves or we can get moved out of an area of feeling stuck.
Downfall: We do what others want or are forced to react to a decision and feel a loss of control.
3. We act
Basically we just start doing something and that action causes a bigger change. We didn’t decide to cause the change and didn’t realize it was going to happen it just comes. This could show up in a positive or negative way. Like someone staying later at work and missing his or her gym time and gaining weight. Or because they’re working more the boss notices and gives them a promotion. And even their marriage or dating life starts to diminish.
For me, I wanted to start a single group for women to come together and form authentic relationships and be allowed to grow both personally and professionally. This was the birth of Dynamic Women in Action which has now grown to over 300 women with five locations. It makes me laugh when people say, “Wow what a great business model.” But that wasn’t my intention it just seemed to happen and I was along for the ride.
Awesome fact: We get to truly be in the moment.
Downfall: We can make a wrong turn or miss out on the big picture opportunities.
So that's how change starts...
Your Turn: Do you have your own examples of how one of these three styles of starting change happened in your life? Comment below.
Brownie points if you can come up with an example that was two or more of them at the same time.
Last week I shared how I was grateful to have the right to work or not and to have some equality in that as well (yep we still have a little ways to go). There were many men and women who paved the path so that we would have more choices and time to do what we like. It’s exciting as a mother to think that my little one could also make a difference in the world with women’s rights or in another area. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.
But what about us? I’m talking about you, me, your friends, family, co-workers, all of us. Maybe we aren’t in government (making big policy decisions) or in a big trailblazing company. But on an individual level we can also make a big DAILY difference in choosing how we act and interact with others. It’s actually pretty simple…and pretty powerful.
How we can make a huge difference in the world for everyone
1. How we ACT: Will you LEAD your life with the feeling that you’re equal?
I see this in my clients all the time: lack of confidence, feeling unworthy, lacking self-belief and like we don’t measure up. Well I’m taking a stand for that. It’s so easy for others to take away our power (rights) when we take them away from ourselves. I’m not saying we need to walk around full of hot air, but just confident that we are equals to all. We deserve great success. We are worthy of happiness. We can believe in ourselves because we are enough.
Having trouble with this? I challenge you to make a list of 100 things that make you AWESOME. Yep, awesome! Not good or even great, but awesome.
Because when we stand in our own worth, we will then stand up for ourselves and others.
2. How we INTERACT: Will you LEAD your life with the feeling that everyone is equal?
We can be quick to feel that someone is better than us (yes some people have more money, a higher position and obviously more of (fill in the blank). And on the flip side that some people are below us (maybe those who act out of hate or don’t put any effort in at all). But the truth is we can serve ourselves and others better when we believe in everyone’s equal right to feel satisfied with life.
How do you apply this? When going into a room of people, or a meeting (basically into a space where you are interacting with others) check in on your feelings before you go in. Ask how you feel about this person (or these people). A typical answer might be “they’re better than me.” Or your ego might take over and answer, “I’m going to show them a thing or two because of my position/success.” Check those at the door and try this thought instead, “We all have the equal right to feel satisfied in our lives. I want to find out what makes people happy.” Create your own ‘check in’ statement that works for you.
So much of the connecting I experience is about one-upmanship/dismissal or giving in and being walked all over.
We want to avoid putting blocks in front of ourselves when others worked so hard to remove them in the past.
While we probably won’t be recognized in history or government for the changes we can choose how to lead our lives, and how we lead within our lives.
Will you LEAD?
Let’s help LEADING catch on like fi-yah! Share how you lead, or recognize how someone else leads and celebrate what they’ve done.