When you can’t exercise, as you have your whole life, you lose your ability to deal with stress, to feel fit, to bring in endorphins, to regulate mood, to maintain a healthy weight and to meditate in a way that athletes do. So I gained weight, became moody, and along with other things I also lost my positivity on the inside (oh believe me I was still putting on a happy face to others on the outside).
I crashed into a HUGE valley!
The valley is a place we all get stuck in sometimes. Ok what do I mean by valley? Well think of the highs and lows in life. You’re feeling up sometimes and feeling down at other moments. The worst thing you can do is make decisions in the low or and I call it the valley.
This is what I see in my clients. When things get overwhelming, stressful, when they are full of anxiety, when it just feels tough – they make a drastic decision.
So what was the decision I made? I postponed my wedding.
I’ve had people come to me who have made decisions in the valley to:
- Quit a job overnight (that they needed)
- Buy a business (they didn’t really want)
- Leave a marriage (and give the ex everything)
- Leave a business (and give the partner everything)
- Decline a new job (they ended up wanting)
- Get into a terrible relationship
- Go on a bad diet (and compromise their health)
- Believe lies from others
- Buy something really expensive (like a new car)
- Lend money to someone
- Enrol in school (when they were already over educated)
- And many more that don’t seem as big as these or that I can’t say due to confidentiality.
Then what do you do if you're in a valley and feel like you need to make a decision about something?
Follow these seven steps!
- Find out where you are and aren’t satisfied by doing the Wheel of Life (I have it on my site under the Services/Professional Speaker tab or click here.)
- Ask yourself, “What do I want?”
- Listen to the answer and write down everything that comes to you.
- Ask yourself again a few days later without looking at your previous answers.
- Give yourself time to see your different options. Decide if it’s the right time to follow through on it. If not choose a date to come back to it.
- If it is talk with someone like a coach, a counsellor a trusted friend or family member or a mentor about what you want to do.
- Make a well throughout decision.
It’s not all bad!
Now there is beauty to being in the valley. We’re experiencing our emotions so strongly that we can’t just brush them aside or hide behind them anymore. They do bring out some truth to a lack of satisfaction or unhappiness. The thing to remember is that where we think the trouble is coming from might not be the same area of life that it started in. That’s why I suggest you go through the seven steps above.
P.S. If you've made a drastic decision I can coach you on a plan to feel satisfied again. Also, if you feel like you're in the valley and are stuck let's talk. Contact me for a complimentary consult to see how I can support you.