Last Wednesday night I did something that I only get to do a few times a year. I went on a date with my husband. A little dinner date for us to reconnect. It’s funny but even though we live together we’re often ships passing. A tag team match caring for our daughter. I’m busy growing my business and networking, while he’s picking up extra work on his days off.
I focus time on my coaching business, on our daughter, on my soccer, and yet I don’t have any scheduled time for my relationship with my husband.
And having a relationship in the background of chores, childcare, shopping, cooking, and TV watching is not the same as making it a focused priority.
I let ‘us’ go missing.
Why is it that we don’t schedule time to grow our relationships as much as we do for other areas of our life?
Why did I let my marriage slip to the bottom of my priority list?
One reason is that my relationship wasn’t dying.
Often times it’s only when we are going to lose something that we fight for it. Like when a loved one is sick – we drop everything for them.
The other reason is that our relationship isn’t as obviously connected to money.
Sad, but true.
If we got promotions in our relationship, or bonuses for good results or a happy customer (spouse) Tweet or Share, maybe it would be a bigger part of our focus. Unless…
We just paused everything to appreciate what we really have.
Going to California last week helped me pause and realize that my husband is the best silent partner my business and life could ever have. I could never have gone to the seminar if it wasn’t for my hubby. He supports me. He supports my passion and business of helping other women have the life they dream of. I’m lucky. I’m grateful.
So back to the date night. It wasn’t all hearts and happiness. We were late in going out. It was raining outside. He wore the wrong shoes and I ended up going through a yellow light and having the red light camera flash. (A crappy end, but I’ll let it go.)
But we found ourselves holding hands from across the table. We talked deeply. Shared the appy. Fought over who got more cookie or ice cream in the dessert, and most importantly asked the question, “So, how do you think things are going with us?” It was beautiful to be focused on just us.
Date night is now once a month (minimum) – for sure! Call me out if we don’t. My marriage is important. I want to schedule it in. I want to show I truly believe we are a priority, by making us a priority.
What has gone missing in your life? What needs to come to the top of your priority list?