Whether you're just starting out in your industry or you've been in it for many years and are quite established, how you make a name for yourself is important.
Last week, my blog was about making a name for yourself at work. That blog is great for those of you who have a nine-to-five or working for someone else.
While there are many, many ways you can make a name for yourself in your industry, I'm going to focus on five specific ones that I really like. They are ones I have done myself when I was getting started in my industry, things that I continue to do today, and strategies I share with my clients.
You’ll love that they are actions you can do, no matter how much time, energy, or your skill level. In some capacity, you can do each and every one of these five activities.
First: Be Active in Your Industry
This means attending industry specific events and being in online communities. You can speak up in those. When you go to meetings, events, and conferences in your industry, make yourself known. That means working the room, chatting with people, and connecting with others.
Online that means giving great support, help, advice, or your two cents on whatever the topic may be or sharing resources with other people in your industry. In this way, ideally you're doing it in a way that doesn’t just shine a light on you, but supports other people.
When I started networking as a coach, I attended a lot of different events. I was really trying to find out where my community was and which one was going to serve me best. I didn't necessarily go to a lot of industry-specific ones just for coaches, just for speakers, or just for podcasters.
I had moved here from Ontario so I didn't have any network in the business market here, so I went to general networking events at first. What's interesting is that even though I was new and hadn't been around for very long attending these events, people got to know me quickly.
What I found was that by just being consistent in attending, I was meeting the same people, meeting similar people, and connecting with them over and over again. I was building relationships, I was building connections. I was building a name for myself to the point where people would say, “Wow, Diane, you're everywhere.”
Sometimes just showing up (not even being the speaker, a presenter, or an expert at that event), and being pleasant to others is all it takes to really make a name for yourself.
Second: Speak at the Industry Events
Check on the organization, association, and conferences website and see if they have a monthly event with a speaker. You can apply to be the speaker, put it in an application, or just see what the call for speakers is for that particular event. When you speak at that industry and you share your knowledge, you share your expertise, you share tangible content people can apply or would be happy to have the resources, then you start to make a name for yourself because you're positioning yourself as the expert.
Also what happens is in your industry, you’re getting a promotion from an organization, association, or conference that already is speaking to your industry. Whether you're in marketing, podcasting, sales, or whatever it may be, being the one on the stage already makes a name for yourself.
Plus when they promote you, even if people don't attend the event, they see that they trust you and think you're capable. They might read your bio and read the outline of what you're going to speak on. I've received speaking engagements just from speaking at an event that the person hiring me wasn't even at. They just saw the information online.
When you're speaking at an event, teaching an event, or whatever it may be, the cool thing is, it already shows that trust has been placed in you and your expertise.
Third: Be a Published Author
If you don't want to write a book, maybe you can be published in:
Think: What are the leading publications in my industry and how do I get on those?
Now, I'm not saying strategically that you want to be in all of them or that it even makes sense for whatever your goals are. But it is an opportunity to make a name for yourself because when people see that you're published, it means there's some confidence in your ability and in your ideas, your research, in how you teach, or in how you train.
It increases your credibility and positions you as an expert. That's how you want to be seen, especially if those in your industry start referring to your materials, whether that be your published materials, or when you were speaking at industry events. Having them refer to your work or think about the materials that you taught them is huge for making a name for yourself in your industry.
Could you imagine if a university or college that is in your industry started using your book as their textbook for one of their courses or even as a book club by someone else in your industry? Putting focus and shining the light on the work you do definitely create a name for yourself.
Fourth: Connect with Other Industry Leaders & Offer to Help
Offer to shine a light on what they're doing. Offer to connect them with someone. Showing up with an opportunity to share with them and to help them to connect them with someone is really going to get yourself far in your industry, especially when they're already the leader in the industry. That's showing respect and honor. You should always really show up to try and serve those that you connect with. But this way, those in your industry could very well become spokespeople for you. They could share about the connection that you had together.
If someone in your industry is launching a book, buy their book. Then when you receive their book, take a picture of it and put it online. What better thing to do for someone else than to promote and share the work that they are very passionate about.
Another action you can take is reaching out to the industry leaders. You can offer to interview them if you have a podcast or if you have a newsletter or a magazine or a blog, something where you can get the word out about them. If you interview them, then you get to know them in the process. Plus, you're promoting them. That's going to help build connections and get your name out there.
Fifth: Collaborate, Joint venture, & Affiliate with Others
When you work together on a project or you offer to support another person on their project, that is definitely a win-win. It's how you make a name for yourself. If you were to begin as an affiliate by sharing someone else's program, share someone else's book launch, or if you were to collaborate on a launch, you build a relationship and your name gets associated with them.
As long as they're a person of good character and you want to be associated with them, then it really is a great way to make a name for yourself.
When I started out, I jumped into a book to be a co-author on a project and it was a really cool experience. I learned so much plus I was able to connect with a lot of new people and make a name for myself by connecting with the person who put the book out. Now, I love that I get to use my platform to promote the stories and the secrets of other women in the Dynamic Women Secrets Series.
This photo shows me and some of the women who collaborated for the Dynamic Women Success Secrets book during our launch party!
First, we did the Dynamic Women Success Secrets book then the Dynamic Women Confidence Secrets book. With both of these, we have almost 100 women who are part of the process and part of promoting each other in the book. Everytime we sell a copy of the book, we're carrying the stories, secrets and the bio of other women and that is such a great way to make a name for yourself in your industry and other industries as well. And we are now working on the third one called Dynamic Women Trailblazer Secrets.
Think about how you can collaborate, joint venture, or affiliate with other people in your industry. Strategy-wise this might not be the best for everyone, if you have the exact same target market and you're offering the exact same thing, it might not be the best strategy for you.
Or it might be a fabulous strategy for you. You really have to look at this idea for making a name for yourself and the other four ideas, and just really work it into your marketing and your strategic plan for your business.
There are so many other ways that you can make a name for yourself. These are just five of them. Other things you could do are:
Do you have other ideas? I'd love to hear them in the comments.
Have you ever wondered how to stand out at work or how to make yourself noticeable to get a promotion?
This came from a conversation I was having with a professional whose company was overtaken by another company. They were bought out. They went from a company with around 50 employees to now in the 1000s.
She had some valid questions:
(Or for my entrepreneurs, These ideas can still apply to you. Ask yourself, “How can I be chosen out of all of my competitors?” Stay tuned for my next blog where I will specifically cover this for you.)
Here are five specific steps that you can do right now no matter where you are in your company and no matter what level you’re at.
Even if you’re not in a company, you can still think about:
And with every topic I cover, you can always think about how you can apply these to other areas of life.
First: Align Yourself with the Company’s Values, Mission, and Culture
If you are about to be bought out by another company or even if you are working for the same company, you have to think about:
If you can align yourself with that, it’s going to help you to stand out. When you have your next meeting, performance review and even in an interview, plan how you’ll share this alignment. Have examples or stories of your ideas, experiences, and actions to prove that you're in alignment with them, especially in casual conversations that happen, it's going to help you to make a name for yourself.
Second: Connect with Others
Whether you know every person in your company or not, this is an opportunity to reach out and get to know them or maintain and nurture that relationship. How do you do that?
There are so many different platforms that companies are on like Slack or you have another in-house messenger system. Shoot them a short voicemail or a short video or even just reach out and just say, “Hey, how's it going?”
If you don't know each other well, why not do a virtual coffee? Especially with Zoom and people being in their own homes, you get to learn a little bit more about them than you maybe normally would if you were talking in the office, workspace, or staff room.
Get to know them. Ask questions like:
I know these are basic questions, but when you get to know these things about them, then you can easily refer back to it the following week. You could say:
There are so many things you can talk about just based on you asking one question the week before or the last time you saw them. It might help to even write it down especially if you're going to be meeting a lot of new people. Write down one interesting fact about them. Then when you see them next time, follow up with that.
The cool thing is, in them sharing something about themselves, you can then acknowledge them. If you get to know them on a personal basis, acknowledge them for who they're being like:
Whatever it may be, you can do a very simple acknowledgment. You can use this formula:
“You are a” + “an adjective” + title
For example: You are a wonderful mother.
You can also compliment them. It can be simple or on a more professional basis:
Whatever it may be, you can compliment them on how they were doing in the job or how they were performing:
You can compliment them on who they were being like:
You can give people an acknowledgment or a compliment. There are so many different ways and versions of it and it can be personal or professional. You have two choices.
Third: Speak Up
You don't need to be the boss. You don't need to be the one that is going to dominate the conversation, but you should at least say something in meetings. Come up with ideas and share them.
When you have that opportunity to present something or even ask a question, do it. You need to have a voice to the name and the email. You need to have people see you when they normally just see your name up on a board somewhere.
If you're feeling like there's not really an opportunity for you to add ideas you can just add in one of these:
That shows interest. That shows that you care to know that what you’ve heard is right. If you don't have anything else to say, you can at least ask a question or provide a statement.
Fourth: Be Yourself
There can be many employees in a company and many people in your industry, so that everyone can start to blend into one another, especially for anyone that has a specific uniform that you have to wear. But:
Just be yourself so that you stand out in your uniqueness.
Fifth: Make Yourself More Recognizable
I don't know how many times I finally got to meet in-person someone I had only emailed with or spoken to on the phone and I was thinking, “Oh, I thought they’d look like this or thought they’d look like that.” People can be more connected to you when they know what you look like. In your emails, can you put an image of yourself so that you're recognizable when they see you?
When you jump on the meetings, get on video. I don't know how many times I've been on calls and people are not on video. They don't even have a photo when they're not on video, so it just says their name on a black screen. That’s not very memorable.
Get on video. Have people see you. Even if you're not the one speaking, be on video, to be smiling, nodding, looking thoughtful as if you're really listening, that goes a long way for someone who's presenting as a speaker.
I know I notice that. I was at a little meet and greet event the other week and one of the other women, as everyone was introducing themselves, was smiling and nodding and showing that she was really listening. That prompted me to reach out to her in a private message through the chat function of Zoom.
I told her something like, “Hey, who are you? You are doing such a good job smiling and nodding at people. I love it. Congratulations.” What started up as our own little conversation ended up having a virtual coffee date. She was making herself not just recognizable, but she was standing out as a good person.
When you go to a meeting or an event and you have a question or comment to make, start by saying your name. Don't assume that people know your name or know your department. You could say:
Let people know who you are. Say your name and say what you're working on or something just to connect people if they don't already know.
Those are the five ways that you can make a name for yourself in your company or industry. Most of them are focusing on great ideas for being an employee. However, if you are a business owner, you work for yourself, or in a different capacity and you want to make yourself known in the industry that you work in, then stay tuned in next week. This is exactly what I am going to cover. I'm going to share some of the tactics that I use as well.
Read more of my blogs here:
1. Stand out from your competitors... without it feeling hard or overwhelming
2. The Price We Pay for our Decisions
3. Stop Being Vanilla
“How are you?”
We always say it, but did you know that you could be using this simple greeting in the wrong way?
It may seem simple, but the question “How are you?” “How you doin’?” “How you goin’?” can be taken the wrong way. It can be used in the wrong fashion.
I didn't really put too much weight on this in the past. I know that people ask this question and use it as a greeting. Our common answers to this question are:
Then, we ask the other person the same question and they give a quick response. After that, it’s over and done with.
But how often have you actually asked other people the deeper question of “How are you really doing?” or “How are you actually doing?”
So often, we just use it as a greeting, and then we're on our way. We don't actually stand there and wait for the FULL response. We don't notice when there are inconsistencies with how someone is appearing: how they’re acting, their voice, their tone, the inflection, and the way their body language is speaking something completely different.
Have you ever noticed the time when you've said to someone, “How are you doing?” And they answer, “Oh, okay.” Then, you feel there's something deeper here. “I'm okay or “I'm good” isn't actually how they're feeling, but you don’t ask for more.
Why don’t you? We’ve all been there. Maybe you don't have time to find out how they really feel, or you don’t want to pry or it makes you feel uncomfortable or you’re just not that close to them.
How many times have you been asked this simple question, and you've given a quick “Good” or “Okay” but really deep down, you were hurting or there was more to that “I'm okay.” But you weren't ready to stop them from just being a greeting and to say more about how you're actually feeling.
This came to light when I was in an “after convention hangout”, and some of my colleagues were having a lot of light conversations. There were a lot of jokes, reminiscing, talking about what we learned, and sharing our goals.
Then there was a pause and someone asked one of the attendees, “How are you?” She opened up and shared that she’s actually not doing okay and she’s not doing fine, the truth came out. The truth of how:
We welcomed her honesty. It gave her the space to share. I know I could relate. At the time, I was dealing with my father's death, and I didn't feel like myself.
If you were to ask me right now how I am doing, I'm going to give you the real answer. I'd say I'm starting to feel more like myself. But if you'd asked me a few months ago, I probably would have said, “Well, I'm okay. I'm fine.”
But if you asked me how I'm really doing, and paused to hear, I would have told you, “I'm struggling.” I would have told you grief sucks. This colleague of ours had the courage to share more and had the courage to go into the truth of how she really was feeling.
It was nice for her to have that space for us to listen to her. Do you know what flowed after that? The truth. The truth of how everyone else was doing. No one had to keep up appearances anymore.
More people shared about
We had the ultimate sharing. What it came down to was someone asking her, “How are you really?” and being there to hear the answer.
It makes me wonder how many of the people around you or me are not doing well. But we don't ask them in a way that's not a greeting.
I wonder if hundreds of thousands of years ago people used the expression, “How are you?”
Maybe people used it to find out how others are doing rather than just to spark a conversation with your neighbor. Maybe as you were cutting down a tree, or plowing a field, or bartering and exchanging goods, you actually had a conversation. You knew each other so well that you would share more.
But in today's world, the way things are, we're Zooming with people across the world. We're jumping into networking events and conferences online. We're rushing from here to there. And the greeting of “How are you” just stays at that. It becomes a rhetorical question. It doesn't really even matter what people say because are we really listening?
This is what my colleague brought forward. She said people ask her all the time how she's doing, but do they really want to know the full answer? She didn’t think so.
I wonder how long this colleague of mine felt unheard, but also how much of it is our responsibility to be able to say, “Hey, I really want to tell you how I'm doing. I'm ready to tell you now.”
A little while later in true Canadian style, she apologized to the group for dumping it on them. I private messaged her, “Don't ever apologize for speaking the truth of where you're at.”
If we encourage people to keep their true feelings inside, imagine what will happen. This is when it becomes too much, unbearable. If people are struggling, if they are having negative feelings or a hard time in life, then they need to not walk the journey alone. But how do they know who they can talk to if we don't ask them in a way where we stand there and we wait for the response?
I'm not judging because I constantly do a quick “Hey, how's it going?” to people as I catch them in the mall or walking down the street or at the school playground, especially now in the days where we have to stay so separated by 2 metres or when we're on Zoom meetings and everybody's listening. That's using the quick “Hey, how's it going?” as a greeting because there are too many people in the room to get an actual response.
But how about if we just took a little bit more notice… lingered a little bit longer after asking the question… checked for consistency, congruence between what their body and their look, their appearance, their tone, their intonation is telling you compared to the words they actually used.
If they say “I'm fine” or “I'm good,” then don't be afraid to follow up with them with:
Sometimes we just need that door to open to be able to share more of our feelings and of what is going on in our lives. How many times have we opened the door for others? I get that you're not going to do this with the waitress or a cashier. You're going to say your greeting, and maybe when they say they're good, you're going to say, “Well, I hope you continue to have a good day.” Maybe we extend the conversation a little bit beyond.
If you haven't seen a friend for a while, why not reach out and ask how they are really doing. Rather than just a text, an email, or a message in some other capacity, why don't you get on the phone and really ask? Have a conversation.
If you yourself feel like people are just asking you this rhetorical question, and they don't really care about the answer then take responsibility for it. Tell people you need them to listen. Say, “Thank you for asking. I'm actually not doing really well” if that's the truth about where you are. Choose the right people you want to do that with so that you have a safe space to share more and so they can then support you.
If we remain quiet and we don’t share with others how it's going, no one will be able to step up and help. You don’t have to walk this alone. There are many people out there who can help. Maybe not people in your current life, maybe not people you know, but there are people on call lines. There are people at churches. There are people who are trained to support you like counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and coaches. There are people out there that can support you beyond “How are you?”
As you go into the world, I encourage you, if you're going to do a greeting of “How are you?” that's fine. Just look for those inconsistencies. When you have the time or create the time, linger a little longer to look for the true answer and if you sense that the person is not fine or not good, and there's a little bit more underneath:
Or remind them that you're there to support them if they ever need it. If everyone did this, COVID would be a little bit easier to deal with. Life would be a little bit easier to get through. We'd all know that we weren't alone in this crazy world.
Are you not getting the results you really want? Are you not happy with the speed to get those results?
When you’re going towards your goal, you put in time, resources, and energy. Maybe in your business, you're trying some different marketing efforts. Then you realize that you’re not getting the return on investment that you’re looking for. Or you think you’ve got this goal that you want to reach, but you’re just not quite getting there fast enough.
One of the most common errors I see is that people are not investing in the right areas. I don't mean the right area of life or the right area of their business. It really boils down to three things:
One of these three things is the real reason why you have an obstacle. All obstacles stopping you from achieving your goal, getting the results that you want and having you feeling stuck come from either mindset, skillset, or network.
Answering these questions will help you choose which of the three areas you need to invest in and focus on. When I use the words “invest in”, I don't mean that you're investing in a business, like you're giving them $100,000 in capital or you're investing in a real estate property, or you're investing in stocks and bonds. However, the same kind of rules apply. If you put in so much money, then you should be getting back more than what you invested. It should have an ROI, return on investment. Spending money means that it's gone. It disappears. But when you're investing in something, you're looking to get a higher return. It's not just investing your money, it's also investing your time and investing your energy.
Let’s see if your problems are part of your mindset, skillset, or network.
Mindset really helps you to feel like you can go for it and feel like you can achieve it. Mindset examples are:
When you have a top mindset, when you're really playing at that higher level:
I was playing soccer the other day, and there was a 50/50 ball between my team's player and their team's player. As they came up, their player hesitated to jump in to get that free ball. In that split second, her mindset threw her off. Her mindset caused her to hesitate and her mindset caused her to lose the ball. My teammate got it.
So I ask you now, how is your mindset inhibiting your business and your life? Where is it holding you back? Where is it stopping you from feeling like you can achieve things?
When we don't feel like we can achieve something, it might cause perfectionism. Where we just keep going over and over and over something and tweaking and perfecting but we never actually finish. Our mindset makes us procrastinate because we don't believe we can do it, so we avoid it and we do other things rather than actually pushing forward and trying it out.
The sad thing is, when you hesitate, someone else is going to pick up that
They are going to have that opportunity because their mindset is on point. When you think of Olympic sprinters, their physical ability in running is only fractions of seconds from each other. Their ability to go from being an Olympian to being a gold medalist and the Silver and Bronze is so close. Most of that comes down to mindset training.
How is your mindset holding you back?
Ask yourself these questions:
When I started my business, I didn't know how to offer from stage. I didn't know how to build programs. I didn't know how to even coach. So I had to invest in training, mentors, and coaches to be able to boost these.
I'm sure if you've had a business or you work in a business or even in your career, you've had some form of training or some form of skills taught to you so that you're able to take on new or more difficult tasks.
If you're going towards something new in your business, something that's the next level, or even in your life, you need to have that special skill set. You need to invest in the training/education, mentors, and coaches to be able to do that.
If that's the piece that's holding you back, if that's the piece that has you stuck, let me tell you:
If you feel like a specific skill set is where you're lacking, you don't have the right skills or the right talents to move you forward, like
Then there are places you can go. This is where you need to invest your time, energy and money to upgrade or master a skill.
This can happen over time or you can be really good at it and have your network grow pretty quickly. Your network is the people you serve. It's the people you know. It's the people you can offer to, and those who surround you, like mentors, coaches, colleagues who push you forward.
The truth is with no platform or network, your success will be slower, and it will take more energy. It's much easier with other people as your fans and connections. With the right people, you can leverage their network in order to push your business forward.
You don't have to be a lone wolf. AND you don't have to be Superwoman. I know we're trying to do all these things ourselves or we're trying to have a lean startup, but leveraging your network is so smart. Even if you don't have the money, maybe you have the time. You could trade. You could barter with other people. You could do an hour for hour swap with someone who has something that you want and/or you have a skill or talent that they want.
I'm part of CAPS or the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers. I was speaking with someone who is producing the networking content for our convention this year. She wanted to talk to me because she says I'm the queen of networking, which made me laugh and also really felt good to hear.
It made me think well, what is it that makes me the queen of networking?
It's collaborators. It's joint venture partners. It’s affiliates. All three add so much to your network. When we started talking about the different CAPS networking and breakouts that they were going to do between the educational and keynote sessions, I got quite excited. I was thinking that this is going to be so cool. It’s going to be a really great opportunity to expand my network and for all the attendees to be able to expand their networks as well.
When you expand your network, so much more can happen and it will happen much faster. So answer this, how can you expand your network by investing time, energy, and money into it?
What You Can Do
If you’re not where you want to be, it is because you're lacking one of the three areas: mindset, skillset or network. Which is the one you need to focus on right now? Maybe you're honest and think, “Oh, Diane, it's all three.” Well, it doesn't have to be all three. You can just pick one right now. Pick the one that makes the most sense.
Once you pick the area that you want to focus on, then ask yourself: What do I have an abundance of? Is it time, energy, or money? Then invest that into that area.
Options for Mindset
Options for Skillset
Options for Network
Your best investment in life and in business is not always in things like cars, houses, stocks, bonds, or items you want. I know that there will be financial advisors that will tell you to invest in those things. Yes, you need to. But I’ve found that not enough attention is put on investing in your mindset, your skill set, and your network. When you do, you can get a higher return. These are areas that cannot be taken from you. Lastly, the only way to be able to hit your goals is by investing in yourself.
So which one do you want to work on right now? Is it mindset, skill set, or your network? Which one needs to take top priority right now?
In my previous blog, I shared how my Facebook profile got deleted and how I gained back control to my Facebook groups and Facebook page. Now let me share more about my experience PLUS the steps I followed when I rebuilt my new profile.
More specifically, I'm going to talk about the ins and outs of Facebook profile deletion. I’ll share how to protect yourself now, so you don't get booted off, lose your precious images and videos, and how to keep your business pages running. Also, even if you get deleted, how to gain back control of groups and the steps I put in place that saved me. And what I now know about rebuilding a profile plus the silver lining of this whole experience. And yes, there is one.
Photos and Videos on Facebook
Did I lose all of my images and videos? Yep, I did. 15 years worth at least. That many photos and videos as well as that many friends. I probably had about 4000 friends. The idea of having to find all those friends again, it's overwhelming. At least one business page and most of my groups were still there. That was helpful.
There are steps that you can take on your personal profile to protect it a little bit more. After finishing this blog, go to the bottom, open up your Facebook account and follow along to the steps.
What did I actually do?
I got a completely new account. Remember, when you create a new account, you can’t use any of the emails that were linked to the account that was disabled. Facebook won't let you. Thankfully, I had another Gmail account that I could use. You might have to end up making a new one.
In making my new account, I made sure to be starting to add in some personal information (e.g. civil status, school, etc.). The kind of stuff that you'd hope hackers or scammers wouldn't know. I wanted to make sure that people were adding me as a friend, even though they probably like we're already friends. Here are a few steps that I did to make sure that people knew it was me:
With this process, I started getting friends added and then Facebook would suggest friends, which was awesome. Do you know Marie Kondo? She’s a home organizer who says to look at an item and then ask yourself, “Does this spark joy?” I kind of feel like I was Marie Kondo-ing my Facebook friends. I was like, Yes I want to accept that person because they bring me joy, but this other person's super negative, confrontational, or just post some crazy stuff.
I now get to choose who I am friends with, which is really great. Maybe you would enjoy that part of it as well. I'm at just over 1000 friends now, and I'm working my way up.
What I kept hearing from people was they weren’t sure if it was me. They asked if it was a real or a fake account. To confirm, what I did was I sent voicemails back to them to say that it was me.
The Silver Lining
The silver lining is I've reconnected with a bunch of people that I haven't talked to for a long time. Now in my Facebook feed, I'm seeing the people I know, and I'm seeing more of the people I really like. I’m also seeing more of my clients’ content and their lives, which is a wonderful thing.
I've covered a lot in this blog as well as the previous ones… the things that you should be doing to back up your information. Remember, you're playing by Facebook's rules. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. You just have to be respectful of that.
If you are doing business on your personal profile, it might be time to stop or at least have a backup of everything. Now, please know that also every single message, photo, comment, or post that I had on my page, on other people's pages, on my profile and on other people's profiles as well as in groups all disappeared.
Be aware that it will happen. It's like I never existed. I got completely wiped in my personal profile off of Facebook.
Business-wise, remember that if you have a group with a bunch of people in it and you lose that group, if you don't have the email addresses of those people, you will lose those connections. If you're using Facebook for business, like me having 21,000 people follow me or like me on Facebook business page means nothing if I don't have their email because if that got shut down completely, if I lost everything, then I would lose all of the connections to those people.
Be aware that there are some strategies you need to put in place to make sure you bring your connection on Facebook into the email world.
I could have been angry with Facebook and spent time trying to track someone down to talk to, but my feeling is like, just move on. See the silver lining in it. It did suck. There's a lot of hours that I had to put into just getting back on my feet with my Facebook profile.
Compared to some of the things that have happened like COVID, having speaking engagements canceled, not being able to go anywhere in the summer, my father passing away, just all kinds of crazy stuff, losing my personal profile on Facebook doesn't matter as much as other things in life.
Think about that. If you ever have something happen to you, in the big picture, does it really matter? If everyone's still healthy and happy, then it's okay. Things can be rebuilt. I do believe sometimes that negative things happen to me so that I can share them with my clients and with my community. That includes you. Thank you for being one of my readers.
P.S. Add me on Facebook! I have so much room for new friends now: Diane Rolston. You can also join the Dynamic Women Global Community.
Read my other blogs here:
1. How my Facebook profile got deleted and what I did to take back control (Part 1)
2. How to Direct Message on Social Media Without Being Salesy
3. Hacks to Save Time with Your Social Media Posting
Steps to Protect Yourself, Your Content and Your Account:
a. In “General,” go to “Memorialization Settings”. This means when you pass away or something happens to you, you can have someone else be able to go in your Facebook and take care of it. So choose your person.
b. “Security and Login”:
c. Go to “Your Facebook Information”.
Another way to do this is to go to a website that's free called If This Then That (IFTTT). Here, you can set up what they call a recipe. For example, every time you post on your Facebook, IFTTT can save a copy in your Dropbox folder. You want to make sure that you have your information backed up.
Do you fear losing everything on Facebook?
At this time, many people use Facebook for the following:
And a whole lot more! But what if one day, you lost it all?
Because I did. My Facebook personal profile was disabled! I had to create a new one, recover my pages and groups, and rebuild my profile.
How it happened
It was an early morning, and I went to jump on my phone and just do a quick check of a few things on my Facebook. It was weird because Facebook was asking me to log in. I don't have to log in usually because I just have it set up where I'm always logged in on my phone.
That was the first alarm that something was wrong. When I went to log in, it actually told me “Your account has been disabled.” I quickly clicked through and tried to find a place where I could talk to someone about it. But you see, that's not so easy to do.
There was an option where I could have them review my account or what was going on to hopefully reactivate my account. I went through the procedures of putting in my email address. I even took a picture of my driver's license and uploaded it, thinking that in a few hours, days or maybe even a few weeks, I'd eventually get a response, plead my case, and get my account back.
Instead, I got a red message instantly. It said, “This account cannot be reactivated because you have violated Facebook community rules.”
I have no idea what that means. I don't know what I did:
People have warned, “Don't do business on your personal profile.” I thought about the things I have shared recently. I shared an event about the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers that I am a part of. I also did a call out for different types of people in different industries so I could connect with them. That's it. That's all I could think about.
I ask you, what are you doing on your personal profile that could possibly get you into trouble? Facebook has a 55-page long list of rules. I haven't really read them all myself. Basically, it comes down to this: when you're in someone else's sandbox or establishment, they have the right to remove you. I guess they have a right to not tell you why either.
My Facebook pages and Facebook Groups
While my personal Facebook profile was deleted, some of my groups and my main business page “Life Coach Diane” was still active. That was great because I have around 21,000 people liking or following that page. But my “Dynamic Women” page one was not.
I was relieved at that and relieved that I still had my Facebook groups. However, I didn't have control of them!
Here’s what I previously did that helped me keep my one Facebook page and most of my Facebook groups.
For your Facebook pages: Have someone you trust to be the admin
Make a team member, employee, social media manager, or even your partner or friend an admin on your page, as well as on your groups. That's probably why I was able to keep some of my groups and pages. I had my assistant as an admin on them. It was fabulous because all she had to do was go into my “Life Coach Diane” page and suggest that I become the admin. Then BOOM I was back in charge!
One of the women in my community told me to have multiple admins AND to check the admin status every six days. Why? Because if someone hacked in and added themselves as a new admin, after seven days of being on your account, they can delete or remove any other admins.
Imagine someone sneakily coming onto your page, hacking in and controlling your groups, and then one day, all of a sudden, you're not the admin of the group. Then your assistant or your team members are not running the group anymore. It's just this person who is now basically taken over your page, and try proving to Facebook that it is really yours.
We're both admins again AND I didn't lose my 21,000 followers there.
For your Facebook Groups: Make sure you have another admin or a backup
Now as for my groups, it was quite interesting. In my groups, I had my assistant who was an admin to add me back in. She then made me admin of the groups.
Now some of the groups that I found, I didn't have her as admin because it was just my clients. I had to ask my clients to let me in again, and then I had to go into the member’s page and see who was admin to add me as one.
Sadly, on some of them, there was no admin. So the admin was up for grabs. If you're running a group with a whole bunch of people, (maybe not just your clients) it can be scary to think that when you are kicked off Facebook someone else could just step in and take over the group.
You want to make sure that even in some of your more private groups that you have someone else as admin, even if it is a friend or another account that you have created, just make sure you have a backup. This is how I was able to keep my business page running, even though my personal profile got deleted. That's also how I was able to gain back control of my groups.
It was those steps that I put in place that saved me. Go check your Facebook account and make sure you have someone else as the admin or multiple people as admin for your groups and your pages. That way, you will be able to gain back control if you ever get kicked off Facebook.
In my next blog, I will share more tips on how you can protect your Facebook account and how I rebuilt my profile.
Read more of my related blogs here:
In my last blog, I talked about the seven problems in our culture that are holding you back from your happiness. Now, I am going to share the things that we do. Once you start tackling these things, you're going to be able to clear space and find more satisfaction in life.
Number 1: We fail to put ourselves on our list
The list of what? The list of priorities, the list of items that are a need or a want to be able to have a fulfilling life. That’s the key.
I recently hung out with a bunch of really successful professionals. They are amazing, smart, kind, and giving women who when asked the question of “What are your personal goals?” had no friggin idea! None at all.
I'm not blaming them. It's just sad. It is sad that there are still so many people out there who have no idea (men, kids, adults included) who still don't know what brings them joy, what they should do for fun.
People come to me and I look at their whole lives, and we talk about satisfaction in every area of life. Fun and recreation is often neglected. The health side is often neglected. And we're doing it to ourselves, as well as not seeing where society does it to us.
Number 2: We fail to live according to our values
I don't mean morals. I mean values. The things that make us tick. The things that give us our energy, our mojo, our resonance. When we are honoring our values, we’re in alignment.
I do a Values Discovery Session, helping you figure out your values. You can't do it yourself. You need someone else to be looking in and asking you questions. But once you figure that out, you're going to know where you're aren’t honouring your values and who is dishonouring your values.
When you're in alignment, you have energy. When you're OUT of alignment, you feel a void of energy. It feels like you're pushing and you can be so tired and overwhelmed from it.
Number 3: We fail to give to ourselves first
We give others the opportunity to have food, to have rest, or to have sleep. As nurturers, we give before we receive and make sure everyone else is good. I don't know how many times:
We don't give to ourselves first even though you all know that analogy around, “You have to put your own oxygen mask on first.”
Number 4: We don't get support to make it happen
We often say to ourselves:
You are, but you can have support to make all of these things happen. You can have support to figure out what you want. You don't need to do or know everything yourself.
It's okay to hire a coach, a counselor, a psychologist, or psychiatrist, someone to support you in this, as well as all the health side of things: a naturopath, a homeopath, a chiropractor, a massage therapist. Whatever you need to support you in your growth. It's okay to get help!
Number 5: We do not take care of our own needs all the time
We wait. We put it off. This was very apparent to me when I’d been home working all day. I might have had one child at home at the time as well. Or I brought them to daycare and back or my other child to school and back and then I'm home and making dinner and I'm cleaning up and everyone comes in and then my husband disappears!
I'm like, “Where did he go?” He just walked in the door. The kids need attention. I'd like some help, and he disappeared. Then I hear the water running. He went to have a shower. I was so shocked. Why? Because I would never dare have a shower now because there's dinner that needs to be made, the house needs to be picked up, the kids need our attention, and he needs my attention.
I'm going to shower when all of that is done and the kids are in bed and lunches are packed and maybe laundry has been folded.
I realized that I was not taking care of my needs and I saw how I could learn so much from him. I needed to learn that it's okay:
How funny that I was pissed at first, but now I'm grateful that his action of simply going to have a shower gave me permission to take care of my own needs like he was.
Number 6: We fail to ask better questions of ourselves and of others
We don't ask ourselves:
What if these questions were more common at parties and get-togethers rather than, “What do you do?” being the topic.
What if one of these were the first question we ask people rather than “What do you do?” because “What do you do for fun?” “What do you enjoy? What brings you joy?” That's something that will carry through your whole life. But “What you do?” isn't always something that will be there forever.
Number 7: We fail to listen to our intuition
It is talking to you. It is telling you what you need. It is sharing with you what you desire.
If we listen to our intuition, that little voice, a little positive voice that is answering these questions or giving us nudges, we'd be happier.
For example, I kept getting nudges around drumming. The kind where you hold a drum between your legs and hit it. I thought about it a lot and mentioned it to clients. I eventually took African drumming. I took the course every Sunday afternoon. I would go and I would do African drumming with a circle of other people all learning it. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I thought I could just whack it and you can't because there are techniques to it.
What are your little intuition pieces telling you? You have opportunities when you listen to your intuition.
Another example is following my intuition when picking my courses for university. I was flipping through the Course Guide and for some reason, the Japanese course was something that I was drawn to. I heard the little voice saying, “I want to do that.” There was something pushing me to do it. At the end of my four years of university, I loved all things Japanese. I loved the language so much that I went on an adventure to Japan for not just one year, but three!
Now it’s your turn!
Over the next 24 hours, I encourage you to listen to the little voice. The little voice may be saying:
That little voice is helping you out.
I feel super passionate about this. I want you to be able to answer the question of “What do you like to do?”
If you were a client of mine and we were working together through this right now, I would probably do a values exercise to help you find your values. I'd go through the Wheel of Life so we could find out exactly what you are wanting. I would take you through some exercises so you not only have clarity, but are excited and motivated and you have a plan!
If you want to delve into this further, if the answer to this question is eluding you, or you're not quite sure if you have the right answer, I really encourage you to reach out.
Let's have a chat. Let's see how I can support you. Why bother? Because there's a piece of you that wants more. That there's going to be a time when you're not so busy (the kids leave, you have more time or space, or you earn enough money so you don't need to work anymore). How are you going to fill your time and space? How are you going to get right in tune with yourself?
Read my other related blogs here:
1. Seven Problems Holding YOU Back from Your Happiness
2. Want more success? Then pull up your big girl panties!
3. How successful women replace BAD habits with GOOD Ones
Have you been asked, “What are your hobbies?” or “What do you do for fun?” and you didn’t know how to answer those questions?
I’ve been meeting and finding people, especially women, who:
Something is holding them back from their happiness. Those questions are common. Not knowing how to answer them is also common! Not knowing the answer feels super frustrating! The crazy thing is that you're smart and successful and you should know the answers to these questions, shouldn’t you?
This happens because there are problems in our culture. Let's talk about the seven ways that basically our society or culture is screwing you over. These are the seven reasons why there are problems in our culture that are stopping you from knowing the answers to this question.
The 1st Problem: As women, we are seen or expected to be Superwomen.
Maybe you've heard of the Superwoman syndrome. I teach about that in some of my workshops with female leaders. We are expected to do it all.
We are expected to be:
We are looking to be amazing at every single role or title that we could possibly have. Why is that? Because we grew up in a time many of us (if you're my age) where our moms were mainly housewives.
There are a lot of moms out there that right now are housewives, but we're now in another time where we're also expected to be a great housewife and have a successful career. We're also expected to do a billion other things extremely well.
My role model is my mom. I think about how she was there, driving me around to sports, part of the school PAC, baking zucchini muffins and so much more! I feel like I’m not doing those things, and I ask myself, “Am I not a good mom? Do I need to step up?”
We're expected to be Superwomen. But the truth is, we're not. We're not Superwomen. But we are amazing. We are extraordinary, but we don't need to be perfect at every single title that we could possibly have.
The 2nd Problem: We keep so much in our heads.
We have to have so much in our heads:
We have to keep everyone else's schedule in our heads: when our family members have to go to the doctor’s and birthdays. Everything! I'm not saying just in your head, but maybe in your planner.
We have to control these things a majority of the time. From what I've seen, this is the case with so many women.
The 3rd problem: We are constantly asked to help.
We are always asked to help:
We’re constantly asked to help. In my case, I feel guilty that I'm only now attending the PAC meetings. I look around and see all these other moms. Well, where are the dads? Are the dads getting asked to be on the PAC? Are they? I'm not seeing it. I see one or two dads then the rest are female staff at the school or the moms.
We're constantly asked to help. My husband has never been asked to do a meal train. EVER. I wonder if he even knows what it is! We're usually the ones that do drop off and pick up for everything. We're often the ones that are asked.
No wonder you don't have to have time for hobbies because you're constantly being asked to help others. And what do we do? We often say “Yes.”
We get asked and we say yes. It's not a problem to say “Yes.” But the problem is that we're often asked, and then we feel obligated to say “Yes.” All. The. Time.
The 4th Problem: Giving selflessly is rewarded.
We often hear statements like:
We are rewarded when we give selflessly. I would really love it if women can be more self full. Full of self. Full of knowing themselves. Full of giving back to themselves. But it's not happening enough.
The 5th Problem: Being busy is a badge of honor.
I can't just sit and do nothing. I can't even watch a movie and not do anything. I'm watching a movie AND I am folding laundry. Do you relate to this? Do you feel like you can't just sit and chill?
You have to be doing something. Then people say, “Oh, you're so busy. You've got so much going on.” Yeah, I do. But the thing is being overly busy is killing us.
I was asked to be part of a board that they said would be great for me. I said, “I can’t, I’m busy.” They said, “We’re all busy.” I said “No, you don't understand. I don't have the bandwidth to do this.”
Recently, I've been having to say this more. No one told me this, but if you've ever had grief, it is debilitating! It screws with your focus. I am a rock star when I coach my clients, but man, I can't remember someone's name that I saw the other day. I do so many things that I'm tired. I'm so tired. So I've had to be kinder to myself.
Being busy should not be a badge of honor. We should be able to have quiet time, chill time, time for ourselves or time to rest. And celebrate time for ourselves.
The 6th Problem: People can be shocked when you have your own time.
I have friends whose husbands go on hunting trips, fishing trips, rugby trips, and even business trips and no one ever says to them, “Oh, but who's taking care of the kids?” or “Doesn't your work need you or anything?” Nothing like that is said. It's always like, “Cool, have fun.” or “Where are you going? How long are you going for?”
Whenever I take a trip to another country to have a conference or workshop, can you guess what I’m asked? They ask, “Oh, how is your husband going to handle the kids? Isn’t he also working when you’re away? Oh, he’ll have to cook or did you leave him some meals.” Well, I handle the kids a lot of the time. I friggin work, too! And my hubby never made me meals when he left on one of his trips.
It blows my mind that they’ll ask if I’ll take the kids with me. No, I’m not taking the kids with me. Do we ask guys if they are taking the kids with them on their trip? No! Because we think moms are at home.
Let me tell you about another thing. I play soccer on a Sunday morning. I'll say, “Oh, I can't go to that event because I have soccer.” Then someone often says, “Can’t someone else drive your child?” I’m like, “It’s MY soccer.”
I think they’re shocked that someone who is not younger is doing something that they love. Would we be shocked that a guy is playing a sport? I don't think so.
Another example is once a year, I'll go to Whistler or I'll go somewhere and I'll have an overnight. Just me. It's the most amazing thing. I drive there, go to the spa, hang out, shop around, go hike, sleep in, stroll around, etc. Sometimes I come back when the kids are in bed so I wouldn’t have to do bedtime! People are shocked. Why isn't it okay that I go? It’s not crazy that I went away. We need to rest and recharge.
The 7th Problem: We honor success and accomplishments over satisfaction.
We're constantly looking at people and see that they:
But the person can be miserable. I know people that are in unhappy marriages because
But they're not happy. They're not satisfied. What if we focus first on what brings us joy and satisfaction. I'm not suggesting we break up marriages. I'm definitely not saying that. But I'm saying we need to focus on what brings us satisfaction rather than striving for success.
These are the seven problems that prevent you from being able to do the things that you need to do for yourself. Can you relate to any of these? Let me know in the comments!
Read my other related blogs:
1. We are Starved for this - How to Deal with “I am NOT Enough”
2. The Three Things That Make You EXTRAORDINARY
3. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions
Have you ever had that urgency where you’ve got to make an extra $500, $1000 or even $10000?
You may think:
You tell yourself, “It’s impossible to do it QUICKLY? I don’t know I will raise that kind of money.”
You still can feel these negatives around it, and you can still struggle.
Why is this an issue for most people
I’ve seen people struggle. This came up very recently with a client of mine. I also have had clients in the past, people I’ve met in my masterminds, and even people who’ve come up to me after different events I was speaking at.
It's so easy to get overwhelmed, to think how could I possibly make $500 or $2000 in like 10 working days, five working days, whatever it may be.
This was my situation about 4 years ago, at a time when I really wanted to hire this high-level coach. I was upping my game, but I'd never put out over $10,000 for a coach before. At just over $13K US and then it was over $17k to work with this coach. I really wanted to do, it would be worth very penny. It was a great investment for my business. The solution I’m going to give you came from that moment.
When you feel overwhelmed, you're not going to be able to get focused at all. You're not going to be able to go for it. Overwhelm puts you in that fight or flight. That stressed place. Creativity is gone. Focus is gone. The fog comes in… so do two culprits:
What do you do? Oftentimes, nothing. Otherwise, you're procrastinating, right?
The issue is, you're not coming up with a plan. When you are running a business, you need to have a plan. You need to have a system and a process that you go through.
The System and Process I would use
The system and process I’m giving you now may seem super basic, but it works. This is like the tip of the iceberg. I'm not going super deep into it, just give you an overview of this concept so that you can go and apply it.
I want you to be able to be thinking about, “How do I put this together?” Not “This is hard, I can’t.”
FIRST STEP: Break it down
Ask yourself: “In my business, what is the fastest way to cash?” “What is the fastest way I can get a customer, a client, a patient, or a company to purchase something from me?”
The following are examples of actions you can do that can be fastest to cash:
However, there are actions that may NOT be the fastest way to cash. For example, starting a podcast or writing a book.
Doing these things that have a longer game to them that take a longer nurture sequence is not fastest to cash. That is a nurturing process that happens over time that will eventually bring in some cash flow for you.
So how do you do it? Find what is fastest to cash for you, think of some of those ideas. You really want to be breaking it down into how you're going to get this money earned.
Let's look at this example.
If you needed $10,000, what you could do is sell 10,000 units or products at $1 apiece. Now, is that really good for your time? Probably not. It takes a heck of a long time to sell 10,000 products to 10,000 different people, right? You probably need 10,000 clients or at least 5000 clients where everyone buys two.
Let's break it down in another way.
Could you sell 1000 products at $10 apiece? It could be a workbook, a mug, or a smaller product that you would sell. Now you need 1000 customers to buy a $10 product.
Let’s break it down into another option.
You could choose a $100 product to sell to 100 people. Are we starting to see how this is a little bit more doable? Could you potentially sell to 100 people in two weeks? Yeah, you totally could. Selling to 10,000 people a $1 item that's a little bit harder. It depends on what your reach is.
If you have a really good reach or your item would be something your client could buy lots of, like a pen, then a dollar item could be a good idea. You have to see what your product is and how you would sell it.
Let's go to the next level.
Could you take a $1,000 product and sell 10 of them? You totally could. That would make sense.
Let's go to a higher level.
How about an even easier option? Do you have a $10,000 product that you would only need to sell one of them? You only have to sell one! Could you find one buyer in 10 days to buy a $10,000 product? Now depending on what you do, you really have to look at this and think:
Client’s $4000 sales
I did this recently with a client. She needed to make $4000 in sales. I asked her, “Do you want to be selling the $4 product or do you want to be selling the $40 product?”
Do you see the difference? Think of how many fewer customers she has to find. That $40 product helped her feel, “This is doable. The fastest to cash option for me is to put a bundle together of $40 for 100 people to buy in the two-week period to get $4000 in sales.” That made so much more sense for a $4 product.
Or how about this one? How about 40 people spend $200? That's probably a little bit more easier depending on your product. That would have been another option for her.
SECOND STEP: Choose how do you want to do it
You break it down, and you figure out how you want to do it. For example, if I'm selling x amount of products, then how do I want to sell them?
Figure out the avenue. Don't pick too many because you want to be able to actually get it done.
If you don't know anything about the option (ex. Facebook ads), it’s not the best choice. Unless you have someone in your network you can easily pay to bang that out and get it going.
This is the thing that I see people screwing up on all the time. You've made this commitment, “I want to make $1k, $4K whatever it may be.
Then you start doing other stuff. You're like:
Cut everything else out. You have one goal. Now, this is not how you're going to be every second of every day, but if you have an immediate need for $, everything else needs to go to the wayside.
Let me go back to my example.
It was December where I've got birthdays for both my kids, I have two other family birthdays and Christmas.
So this is what else happened that one specific December. I go to an event, and I buy a $17k+ coaching package (Worth every single penny. I totally beIieve that.) But I'm like, “Man, I don't want to get a credit card bill that is going to be probably 20 grand because I have other business expenses and many gifts on it.”
And I'm doing the full pay option because I'm all in and I'm getting this done rather than the payment plan. That's just the way I like to do it. I like to save money by doing it all at once. I thought, “I have to pay for this ASAP. I'm not pulling from my savings and not pulling from a bank account. I got to pay for this from what I've made.”
In that moment, I was like, “Okay, in 10 days, I'm going to run an event. Get as many people in there as possible, and I'm going to offer them something.” I thought, “Am I going to offer an $8,000 program to a big room?” No, that I haven't had time to build up that relationship with them.
“Am I going to sell 100 $200 products?” I could but I don't have 100 people in the room so that's not going to happen. Instead what I did is I thought I need about 12 people to buy about a $1500 product so that I can pay this off right away.
Now, as I was going into it, I thought, “No, instead I'm going to change this. I'm going to make it $1,000 and I'm going to sell like 17 of them.”
At the end of the day, I sold 18. I actually made money. Now, obviously, I still have to put my time into delivering the product. I still have expenses in delivering that product. However, my credit card bill was covered. That investment in that coach was covered.
What did I do? I used the steps, what is fastest to cash? Fastest to cash for me is a coaching package. Then, I'm going to break it down. How do I want to do it? I'm going to do a $1,000 product and have 17 people buy.
Then, how do I want to do it? I'm going to fill a room with people and hold an event. I had 74 people register in those 10 days. I had 63 show up, which is really high show up rate. Of that, I had 18 purchases. Perfect, right?
What did I do? I had to cut everything else out. Why? Because I had a bill to pay. Why? Because I had an event to run. Why? Because I had to prepare my offer. I had to prepare my package. I had to prepare my content. I had to market to get everyone there. I had to be on point for when I was showing up there. I had one opportunity to sell.
Now granted, yes, I would have many more opportunities after to nurture and follow up. But I wanted it done that day. I didn't want that on my mind.
In your mind, do you feel it is too much stress to have it all on one event, one home party, one online cooking class, one webinar, one masterclass, one training? Is that too much pressure for you? Then pull it back.
Give yourself that time and space. You could:
You have to be laser-focused when you want to achieve a financial goal in a short amount of time. It is doable. To make money in a short amount of time you must believe that it is doable, and you have to focus on it. You have to get into action. Getting into action is going to build the confidence that you need to actually pull it off. And choose that breakdown of how many products for how much money. Something that is doable for you potentially or a bit of a stretch, but make sure that it's the doable one.
What I love doing that with my clients is:
Now you may not look at me or think of me as a sales and marketing coach. I'm not saying I specialize in it. I will never say that, but I'm a business coach who can do strategy. Why? Because that's what I do in my own business and as you can see I can do it well.
If you want to have one of these “Fastest to Cash Strategy Sessions” with me where we figure out how you can get the fastest to cash in a short amount of time, then go to https://bit.ly/FastestToCashSession. By the end you’ll have the clarity on the right approach, the confidence in the strategy and the plan to actually go for it, so you can get great results.
The world is starved for Recognition AND Appreciation. Are you part of the problem?
I think a lot of it comes from what would be considered the number one limiting belief, which is “I am not enough."
We are constantly judging ourselves. (And by “we” I mean women.) We are comparing ourselves to high standards. Now maybe not everyone has the same standards, but there’s often at least one of these questions...
There's always judgment. Sadly, it can be by us, by friends, by family, by society, or by culture.
It's very easy for us to feel starved for recognition, starved for appreciation because we're needing to feel like we're enough.
Now, let me ask you:
First of all, if this is happening to you or happening to those around you, this is how people feel when they are not recognized or appreciated. They feel a little bit like, “Why bother?”
And when you're in that place of “Why bother?” you feel apathetic. You're not driven. You're not driven to achieve.
Can you relate to that? What area in your life do you feel underappreciated? Have you done things that have gone unrecognized? You may have been in one of these situations:
If you are suffering from this, I'm sorry, that sucks! I'm on a mission to teach people to easily combat this.
If we just change the conversations we're having by doing this one thing I'm going to share, the world would be a better place.
If you're doing this action properly every single day:
You can acknowledge others. I'm sure you already know how to compliment someone. You say things like:
Since you know how to compliment, we can now move to acknowledging a person for who they are, what they have done, and who they’re being. This tells the person they have good qualities, they’re liked and they’re more than good enough!
It's really simple. It's four words, or it's five words.
The five-word version is “You are a/an + adjective + the role or title that they have (sister, brother, mother, father, friend).” We can acknowledge them for really any role or any title. For example, you can say, “You are a driven entrepreneur."
For a more personal example, my daughter made a beautiful “Dream Big” picture. I can say to her, “You are a creative artist” or “You are an imaginative designer."
This is supposed to be super-duper simple. An example is, “You’re a loving mother.” Here, “you are” just becomes “you’re."
I want you to be thinking about short and sweet. Just give them the full acknowledgement and drop it there.
By acknowledging someone else, you are giving them a word gift. It's an acknowledgement to who they are as a person. You are witnessing something good in them, a good skill, a good quality, or a good trait.
How would you feel if you received one of these acknowledgments? Pretty darn good! You’d feel awesome!
Don’t Mess it Up
Sometimes when I do this activity with clients or women in my Dynamic Woman Global Community, they want to add on, and add on, and add on more reasons. When you add on the reason why you said the acknowledgment, they might grab onto it and then make it untrue. For example, you go to an event that is really well put together and really well decorated. So you say to the host. “Thank you. You are a fantastic host.” This is a great acknowledgement and well received. But you don’t stop there, you mention the balloon decorations, the platters of food and the music. Now the host doesn't think they’re a great host because they ordered the balloons, the food was catered and your friend organized the music.
And it may be fine if you want to maybe add one more adjective. You can say, “You’re a loving and caring friend.” But wouldn't it be nice to use one and make it the focal point or the center of it. You can also drop the title or role and just say, “You're so loving” or “You're so loyal.” But it sometimes helps to give a little context. For instance, if I said to a friend, “You’re so strong.” Is that physically strong, mentally strong, emotionally strong, or strong to get through things?
On the other hand, if I said, “You're such a strong athlete.” We know it's physically strong. Giving the title gives some context.
Be part of the solution
In the beginning, I said that the world is starved for appreciation and recognition. If you are going to help to solve this problem, let's talk about what that would look like.
Let's say someone had surgery that they had to face or they're going to be facing, and you said, “You're such a courageous woman,” left it at that, just let that land that's going to positively affect that person's circumstances.
It's going to start to squash and push down the saboteur’s negative thoughts and negative self-judgments and negative limiting beliefs that come up.
Acknowledgements are so simple. I encourage you to look for opportunities to give these gifts. They don't cost a cent. With what's going on in the world today, we really need to be seen in a positive way. We need to be reinforced and given that energy of an acknowledgement from someone else and then that will ripple out to others. Maybe they then look to acknowledge others as well. Maybe you will start to get acknowledged more.
When you do this in an authentic way, it builds positivity and awesomeness with you and that person.
Answer these questions:
This is one aspect of pillar number six in my Dynamic You Program and book where I talk about being Magnetic. When you can do this to connect with others, to be more approachable, and to be positive, people will be drawn to you.
This is how I said that you're going to be able to build your network. If you do this action every day, you're going to be able to attract more connections. You're going to build stronger relationships. If you have employees, you'll retain them longer. And overall, you will be happier.
It doesn't cost you a thing to say these four or five words. I encourage you to do so. Let me know how many you could do in one day. Could you do 5? 10? A hundred? Let me know how it goes and let me know how the other person responded.
How did you make them feel by giving them that acknowledgement? You don't have to ask them. Just check in with them. What do you notice? How did they receive it?
I am a coach, a speaker, and I run the Dynamic Women Global Community. It's a place I love to go live. I love to give tips, tricks, and trainings on how to be more dynamic in all areas of life. This Online Facebook Group is a complimentary. You are welcome to join!
I appreciate you. I appreciate you because without you being here to read my blogs, I couldn't do the work I do. Thank you very much.
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