What separates ‘doers’ from ‘excusers’?

One question separates ‘doers’ from ‘excusers’: 

                                                         How can I make this work?

I’m so grateful to be around a lot of ambitious women. The majority of my clients and Dynamic Women in Action members play double (or triple) duty as career professionals, entrepreneurs, and moms. We talk a lot with each other about our struggles and how to get what we want in business & life. (see photo above for some of the DWA ladies)

We also have daily talks with ourselves. You know the ones!  Sometimes we are supportive and sometimes we talk ourselves out of doing what we really want. It might even come in the form of an excuse. Yep I'm guilty too!

Well, here is my 3-point Q&A strategy to steer that conversation with yourself so you end up 'doing' instead of 'excusing'!

It goes like this…

1. If you want to do something or not ask yourself, “Is this a priority?”
2. Then what resistance (excuses) is your brain coming up with? 
For example, "It costs too much time/money/energy.” Or “I can’t because (Insert excuse here).”
3. Ask yourself, “How can I make this work?” Come up with some options.

When planning a date night with my husband (as I mentioned in my last blog) I used this exact strategy.  This is the conversation I had with myself:

1. “Is this a priority?”
·       “Yes, date night is important.”

2. “What’s the resistance?”
·      “Baby sitters cost too much.”
·      “We could just hang out after our little one goes to bed.”

3. “How can I make this work?” “What are my options?”
·      I can offer to swap date nights with other parents.
·      I can ask on Facebook to see if anyone wants to watch Bailey.
·      I can move to Ontario to be closer to my parents – ya right!

What did I end up doing?

I used Facebook to reach out to a larger pool of my trusted connections and see if someone would be kind enough to watch our daughter for free.

I can’t believe she (Jody) said she’d do it!  We met when I was running a Vision Boarding Workshop. You know why? She also believes in date nights and feels lucky to have grandparents around to help her out, so she didn’t mind paying it forward.

And here is the bonus; it started another conversation with a friend of mine about swapping childcare every month so we both get a chance to go out for date night on a regular basis.

Decision-making isn’t always easy. Our brains like to trick us into thinking that everything is complicated. Sometimes our situations are – and sometimes they’re not! It just takes having a deeper conversation with yourself.  

So whenever you find yourself having that conversation with excuses - use my 3-point Q&A Strategy.

Hope it works for you!
xo
Diane

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