Some time ago, I asked the women in my Dynamic Women Global Community what is something they think everyone should do at least once in their lives. Here are 5 of their suggestions (and my reaction to those!).
1. Dance in the rain. ~ Chantal
I feel like I’ve done this as a kid. Have you tried it? I don't think I’ve ever chosen to do it out of excitement or pure joy that it was raining. A lot of times when I am in the rain, it is because I'm playing soccer and I’d rather it not be! I might have danced in the rain at the Full Moon Festival in Thailand in my 20s, but now as more of a fair-weather girl, it's not necessarily dancing or by choice.
However, I do feel it's a great thing because it goes into that area of being playful. So often we’re a bit moany when it rains. But by dancing in the rain, you get to be free and have a little bit of fun.
I probably need to add that to my bucket list.
2. Skinnydip ~ Penny.
Well, I might have done this a few times, in a few different countries, in the night, and in the daytime. I’ve been to oceans, lakes, pools, and hot tubs - private and public.
But I have to admit I was not really showing everybody everything. It was always a private group of people or it was covering up and then uncovering at the last second.
Have you done skinny dipping? I think it's something that you definitely should try. I'm not a big be naked in public sort of person, so I don't know if I will be doing it much in the future.
3. Forest bathing. ~ Paula
Paula explained that forest bathing is a “quiet contemplative visit to a forest to sit still and focus on the energy you feel. It is both meditative and energizing.”
If you're going to go for a hike in the forest, you just need to stop and sit and take it in, hug a tree, touch the earth, or go barefoot if you can. It's amazing. Forest bathing is something that I first heard about when I was in Japan. It’s a well-known activity to go and do. The idea of just being completely surrounded and immersed in nature is a lovely experience.
I feel very blessed that I have so many different forests here in North Vancouver that I can enjoy. I've done it, and I hope you have, too.
4. Be present for a baby's birth. ~Michelle
Whether you’ve had your own baby or not, you should experience the miracle of watching a live birth. It’s absolutely amazing. I know it’s such a privilege that not a lot of people are going to be able to have. But maybe it could be the birth of an animal baby or at the very least watching one on YouTube.
I haven't seen someone else's birth in the room. I hope that in the future I'll be able to see my kids have their babies. My mom was there for my first baby's birth. For the second one, it was so quick that we just had to get to the hospital and once I was at the hospital, my son came 12 minutes after I arrived at the hospital. My husband was parking the car and wasn’t even in the room when he arrived.
It was great that it was quick, but also hard because it was done without any pain meds. It showed me how strong I can be… but I also never want to have a baby again, especially without pain meds.
5. Volunteer for those in need. ~Susan
Volunteering is something I have just gotten back into more consistently since my kids are getting older. I now co-lead a group of women at my weekly church group and use my public speaking skills to emcee there every other week.
My volunteering used to be a bit more sporadic. I would do single acts of generosity because I couldn’t make a long-term commitment.
For instance, with the different events that I'm holding I will give back to a charity, usually women's shelters or Family Services. I donate partial proceeds of ticket sales, and/or encourage guests to bring items that the women in the shelters would need.
Last Christmas, my church group put together blessing bags for the women on the east side in an area of Vancouver where there are a lot of homeless women or very low-income housing. We blessed them with these bags filled with goodies like beauty products, pajamas, and socks just so they can have some special and needed items for themselves.
I also volunteer by sharing my knowledge and giving trainings. For example, I presented at two Dream It Be It Conferences, which is a conference for high school girls to learn to follow their dreams and figure out what career they want. I also volunteer my speaking for different organizations like CAPS (Canadian Association for Professional Speakers). I really like when I'm invited to come and speak and use my gifts to support others in that way.
These are the 5 things that Dynamic Women Global Community suggested we should be doing some time in our lives at least once and so I'm curious which of these have you done and what would make your top 5 list?
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Are you focusing on the right things to bring you fulfillment and happiness?
We’re in the fifth month of 2022. Time has really flown so fast!
How has it been for you? Good? Rushed? Hard?
Let me share with you FIVE steps that will help make the rest of your 2022 happy and successful. These are the same steps that I share with my clients and I also follow in my own life. These are what have worked for me and I see working for female business leaders.
What will actually make you happy in 2022?
Did what you did in 2021 make you happy, feel fulfilled, and satisfied? This is a decision that you need to make for yourself.
What I often see happening is that people are choosing what society is marketing to them.
What are the things you feel society is marketing to you that will make you successful?
With my clients, we look at all 10 areas of life. This is something you can do, too. By doing this, we can really start to figure out what it is that YOU want? It's not what everyone else is forcing you to like.
We have a choice. But the sad thing is, so many people just go with the flow. So many people don't put an actual intention into… “What do I want for 2022?”
Maybe they pick a resolution. Maybe they pick some outrageous goal. That's great! However, it's not going to bring you fulfillment. I've worked with a client who with two other people built and sold a company for $75 million. His cut was $25 million. He was not satisfied. He was not happy at the end of that time.
It's sad. He could have bought anything. He could have had anything, but the true contentment and fulfillment, he couldn't buy. The sad thing is he didn't know what he needed.
This is the five-step process that I take my clients through that can really help you to know that for the rest of 2022, you're going to be focused on the things that will make you happy and feel content.
Step 1: Evaluate where you've been
It’s an evaluation of:
Most of the time, the mistake is that people only focus on the TOP milestones or achievements rather than looking really deep into:
The other mistake is not looking at both sides, the being and the doing, because if we only look at the doing (only the achievements and outward success), and not who we’re being then we miss the shifts in mindset, perspectives, and habits.
Acknowledging that will help you to be more successful in 2022.
Step 2: Have clarity on all 10 areas of life.
Many times people just set goals in life and business. But the thing is, business/work/career is only one of 10 areas. So if you're trying to balance work and life, life is always going to be heavier, but we so often put more time, energy, money, stress and focus on the work area.
You need to have clarity on what you want in all areas of life. Not just what you want, but what's ideal. If you do this process by yourself, you will succumb to limiting beliefs to saboteurs. You need to have someone go through this process with you so you get clarity on what you actually want in a way that's ideal, rather than just a way that's:
Step 3: Start creating a plan
Once you've evaluated where you've come from and you've taken the golden nuggets from that, and you have clarity on what you want in all 10 areas, the next piece is to start creating a plan.
Also, what I love to do with my clients is to look at which goals are dynamic goals, meaning you focus on one goal, and it helps your other goals to happen as well.
Why do we do that? Less stress, less energy, and less money needed. You can have many goals happen at the same time.
Step 4: You need to get into action
How is getting into action helping you to actually be happy in 2022? Because when we are in action on our plan, our goals, our desires, whose agenda are we fulfilling? OUR own agenda. YOUR agenda.
The problem is you're probably a very kind, generous, giving person who likes helping others. If you are not in action on your own plan, guess whose plan ends up in your calendar? Guess whose goals end up in your schedule book? Guess whose tasks end up being done by you? Other people’s!
Plus perfectionism, procrastination, saboteurs, they all come in. They can all stop you.
Part of step four is helping you to break down your goals into bite-sized pieces that are super easy for you to 150% attain. If you know no matter what, you're going to be able to achieve these things, it's going to be so much easier and so much more beneficial to you being happy and reaching your success in 2022.
Step 5: Accountability
This is the one that people forget. This is the one that people don't put into place and this is why women come to me and say, “I'm just not achieving my goal.” Or I meet people and year after year after year, they have the same exact goal they're just not reaching.
It’s not just simple accountability, like telling your friend you’re committing to do something. It’s being accountable to someone who's actually willing…
How will these steps actually make you happy?
Because when you're focused on the things you want to do, you have accountability for it, and you have someone cheering you on, you're more likely to achieve your goals.
That's my five-step process to get you happier in 2022 because you're actually going to be going after the goals that YOU want. You're going to be achieving things you internally desire, and not in just a realistic way, but in an ideal way, in that bigger way of what you want things to be like.
Please, please, please, please. Don't just let 2022 roll on because no matter what, time will go by. No matter what, you will be influenced by society and by others. Please do these five steps to be able to focus on what makes you the happiest and helps you to be able to move forward.
If you want to learn more about how to do this faster and easier together, schedule an initial consultation with me here.
In my previous blog, I talked about the three things that could be holding you back and causing you to struggle alone.
Now, let's see the three options that you have when you realize you’re trying to do it all yourself:
Option 1: Just keep doing everything yourself
You may choose to do this because you don’t feel you can invest the money to get help or there are tasks you can do faster yourself. But what I often see happen is that people end up suffering from procrastination because when you don't know how to do something, it SLOWS you down. Or when you have some limiting beliefs, perfectionism causes you NOT to do it, or your lack of experience means it takes you so much MORE time.
You might not be able to get a project off the ground, or work through it because you just can’t figure it out. This is why many podcasts don’t get published, businesses don’t get started or new products launched. This can even come into your life with not getting the reno done or your health goals met. If you do figure it out, the next challenge is not running out of time to get it done, like a proposal or a bid, or complete a contract.
An example of this is how many unfinished written books are there? I'm guessing millions. This does not include the ones that were abandoned because they were terrible. There are people who have a book, project, movie or a song in their soul and they don't get it out there because they're trying to do it all themselves. I received a call for coaching from a woman who couldn’t get her book done on her own. Even though she sat on her ideas for years, with coaching and accountability she had it written in 8 weeks.
This reminds me of going skydiving. When I signed up, they asked if I wanted to go by myself or do it with someone else. I didn’t need to be an expert at skydiving and yet, I can’t do it by myself. So I was willing to have someone strapped to my back who's going to make it happen for me. It was the fastest, easiest, and least expensive route. It was also the least stressful of the two options. It helped me to reach my goal of skydiving in a very short amount of time.
I wonder in your life:
So that's the first option: keep going it alone, but end up not doing it or it being hard.
Option 2: Hire someone to do the work for you
I know not everyone can hire, but there are lots of options out there.
I have hired people to set up my podcast and get it launched. I've hired people to do graphic design work for me. Those are not my core competencies. It was money well invested. Notice I didn’t say spent because I know I’d get a return on it.
Even if what they do doesn’t bring you money, it can save you time, energy and money by not making costly mistakes and in the speed at which experts can execute their craft. PLUS, it frees you up to do more income generating activities - thus increasing your profit.
This also will help you to be able to move forward faster.
I know that a lot of you would love to be able to have someone in the third option, to work alongside you.
Option 3: Have someone work alongside you
The benefit of someone working alongside you is they can SHOW you, so you can increase your skills and talents. When they show you and then you have the experience.
For example, I didn't know at first how to publish a book. I had someone walk alongside me and show me what to do. Then I was able to turn around and share that with my team member who then was able to publish the next book for my business.
Having someone work alongside you is such a great opportunity.
Do you want someone to tell you when you have broccoli in your teeth? A mentor, coach, or advisor - can point out that to you. They will let you know about mistakes that are on the horizon or if your mindset or limiting beliefs are holding you back. When your limiting beliefs are processed and you have the tools to deal with them in the future, you can then move the knowledge into any area of your life.
If you bring someone in to work alongside you, like a coach, a consultant, or advisor, you have two options:
Continual: You can have them help you over time with weekly sessions, bi-weekly sessions, monthly sessions, whatever it may be. Over time, you work through the things that are holding you back.
If you want to have support over time, then you don’t have to run your life, your business, your career all by yourself. It’s like boxing and having someone in your corner, ready to support you, ready to help you, ready to wipe off the sweat and give you encouragement and to tell you where to throw your next punch. Then coaching in a monthly capacity, where we do bi-weekly coaching with emailing between sessions is a really great option for you.
Intensive or Immersive: With this option, you have someone with you for one set period of time, like 3 or 5 hours. You're with them to build your experience or to go through a process. You can have them thinking for you, writing for you, creating for you and strategizing for you in the moment.
The beauty of this experience is that in this short, yet powerful time you can accomplish so much really quickly. Since you're with them they can bust through any limiting beliefs that come up. It then empowers you to be able to transfer that knowledge, skill, experience, and better mindset into the next situation.
If you want to go the route of immersive support, then a VIP day is really ideal for you. Some reasons why clients come to me for this:
I trust you now see, after not one but two blogs, how going it alone is costing you. My invitation for you is to bring me on your team either on a continual basis or with a VIP Day. Not sure which way is best for you to reach your goals? Let’s chat. Schedule a call with me and let’s see how we can work together.
If you are one of those high-achieving, Type A, smart, and successful women, ask yourself these questions:
This could be because you’re doing it all yourself. Or maybe, you KNOW that you can’t do it all yourself, and you have support, but doing things yourself is still affecting you in ways you didn’t realize.
This is one of the common mistakes or missed opportunities that I see in women that I’ve met.
Who is going it alone?
It's usually the women who are most capable. It's also women who don't feel like they're enough and then asking for help would just confirm that they aren't excelling in every area.
It’s also solopreneurs, entrepreneurs and small business owners. A lot of times it’s the women in high-up positions in the corporate world.
They believe that they need to be a lone wolf… that they need to do it alone. But the thing is, women are meant to be in a group.
We're meant to be in a community with others. If you look at the stories of successful people, it came from support from others. It came from a team.
Why do we keep trying to be a Superwoman?
Most of us suffer from Superwoman syndrome, where not only do we have to be amazing in our career, but now we feel pressure to be amazing wives, amazing sisters, amazing friends, amazing moms, and to also volunteer, leave a legacy, etc.
It's ridiculous. I keep having to check myself by asking, “Am I trying to do too much?” But what I'm noticing is that people are not only trying to be a superwoman, where you try to do everything and be awesome in every area, but now we're trying to be superheroes, where we want to be awesome in every area and with every title, but we now also will save everyone in the process.
You might disagree and say that you’ve hired people and you’ve got a team around you, but then:
Here are the three things that could be holding you back and causing you to struggle alone:
1. Your skills and talents
You are a talented woman and can figure things out, but you don’t have specific training in certain areas like accounting, funnel building or investing. I have coached women who don’t know how to make a financial budget. I've coached women who don't know how to do simple things with technology. They try to do it themselves by spending time trying to figure it out, watching YouTube, buying programs when it would have served them to hire someone to do it for them. Even if they did figure it out, the time used was more than an expert and the results were often not as good. Plus, did they even enjoy doing it? More than likely, not. Their time would have been better used on their core competencies and income producing activities.
2. Our lack of experience
How can you step up to do something when you haven't had experience doing it? For example, closing a big deal, speaking on stage, or firing someone. So yes, you can figure it out. Yes, you can fake it till you make it. But that can be super stressful. It can be harder than it needs to be. Having a mentor or coach walk you through it, give you tips on what you need to do or watch out for and support you is crucial to your growth and success.
3. Our limiting beliefs
The saboteur. The Gremlin. The shadow. Whatever you want to call it. It’s that negative self-talk and when we are alone it can circle around in our heads until we believe it. That then changes our thoughts and actions. Slowing us down or stopping us in our tracks. This is where having others around us is integral to cheer us on, call us on our BS and push us towards our goals.
These are the things that are holding us back from moving forward. The first two are kind of simple. We could hire someone who has the skills and talents that we don't have, or we're not willing to learn. We should hire people who have experienced things that we want to be able to experience so that they can teach us.
But what happens when it comes down to limiting beliefs?
When you try to do it all yourself, you don't have someone to point things out to you to ask you the questions that help you come up with the solutions.
As Les Brown said, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” We can walk around our whole day with broccoli in our teeth or a piece of toilet paper on our shoe. It's not until someone else points it out or until later in the day that we finally see ourselves in the mirror and we’re mortified and wonder, “How long did I go through life, not realizing that?” How many instances with others did I mess up because I didn't know about the negative thing that was affecting me?
Since we can have these three things that hold us back, it's really important that we don't try to do it all ourselves.
In my next blog, I will walk you through your options so you can stop going it alone.
For now, I invite you to join the Dynamic Women Global Community to meet other dynamic women who are wanting to support one another.
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