If you are one of those high-achieving, Type A, smart, and successful women, ask yourself these questions:
This could be because you’re doing it all yourself. Or maybe, you KNOW that you can’t do it all yourself, and you have support, but doing things yourself is still affecting you in ways you didn’t realize.
This is one of the common mistakes or missed opportunities that I see in women that I’ve met.
Who is going it alone?
It's usually the women who are most capable. It's also women who don't feel like they're enough and then asking for help would just confirm that they aren't excelling in every area.
It’s also solopreneurs, entrepreneurs and small business owners. A lot of times it’s the women in high-up positions in the corporate world.
They believe that they need to be a lone wolf… that they need to do it alone. But the thing is, women are meant to be in a group.
We're meant to be in a community with others. If you look at the stories of successful people, it came from support from others. It came from a team.
Why do we keep trying to be a Superwoman?
Most of us suffer from Superwoman syndrome, where not only do we have to be amazing in our career, but now we feel pressure to be amazing wives, amazing sisters, amazing friends, amazing moms, and to also volunteer, leave a legacy, etc.
It's ridiculous. I keep having to check myself by asking, “Am I trying to do too much?” But what I'm noticing is that people are not only trying to be a superwoman, where you try to do everything and be awesome in every area, but now we're trying to be superheroes, where we want to be awesome in every area and with every title, but we now also will save everyone in the process.
You might disagree and say that you’ve hired people and you’ve got a team around you, but then:
Here are the three things that could be holding you back and causing you to struggle alone:
1. Your skills and talents
You are a talented woman and can figure things out, but you don’t have specific training in certain areas like accounting, funnel building or investing. I have coached women who don’t know how to make a financial budget. I've coached women who don't know how to do simple things with technology. They try to do it themselves by spending time trying to figure it out, watching YouTube, buying programs when it would have served them to hire someone to do it for them. Even if they did figure it out, the time used was more than an expert and the results were often not as good. Plus, did they even enjoy doing it? More than likely, not. Their time would have been better used on their core competencies and income producing activities.
2. Our lack of experience
How can you step up to do something when you haven't had experience doing it? For example, closing a big deal, speaking on stage, or firing someone. So yes, you can figure it out. Yes, you can fake it till you make it. But that can be super stressful. It can be harder than it needs to be. Having a mentor or coach walk you through it, give you tips on what you need to do or watch out for and support you is crucial to your growth and success.
3. Our limiting beliefs
The saboteur. The Gremlin. The shadow. Whatever you want to call it. It’s that negative self-talk and when we are alone it can circle around in our heads until we believe it. That then changes our thoughts and actions. Slowing us down or stopping us in our tracks. This is where having others around us is integral to cheer us on, call us on our BS and push us towards our goals.
These are the things that are holding us back from moving forward. The first two are kind of simple. We could hire someone who has the skills and talents that we don't have, or we're not willing to learn. We should hire people who have experienced things that we want to be able to experience so that they can teach us.
But what happens when it comes down to limiting beliefs?
When you try to do it all yourself, you don't have someone to point things out to you to ask you the questions that help you come up with the solutions.
As Les Brown said, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” We can walk around our whole day with broccoli in our teeth or a piece of toilet paper on our shoe. It's not until someone else points it out or until later in the day that we finally see ourselves in the mirror and we’re mortified and wonder, “How long did I go through life, not realizing that?” How many instances with others did I mess up because I didn't know about the negative thing that was affecting me?
Since we can have these three things that hold us back, it's really important that we don't try to do it all ourselves.
In my next blog, I will walk you through your options so you can stop going it alone.
For now, I invite you to join the Dynamic Women Global Community to meet other dynamic women who are wanting to support one another.
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