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Are you afraid or hesitant to step out of hiding and be more visible in your life?  I had the courage to stop hiding. I feel called to come and talk about how I got the courage to stop hiding. How I've been able to then reach the goal of really showing up fully as I am. It's a constant battle, I'll tell you that. I'm not always going to be able to show up fully. Sometimes, I have to muster new courage to be able to do it. Why you should care about this Why is this important? Well, not being visible is stopping you from achieving your goals. Not being visible means that you're inhibiting yourself from fully living the life that you want to live. Whether that's you hiding as a person or hiding in your business, or not being visible to the world, maybe in your relationships or in your community, it's holding you back. I know because I've been held back, and it feels crappy in these moments. But somehow through a few different ways I'll share with you, I was able to persevere. I want to share with you how I got the courage to stop hiding. What makes me want to share about this? It's because I keep meeting A-type, driven, and successful women who say things like:
You've heard of “tall poppy syndrome” or “crabs in a bucket”. Basically, the idea that when you stand out, people are going to take you down. Just look at the hate online from trolls. The cowards behind their computer screens, typing away and saying such hurtful things. My experiences Well, since I was a kid, I've been very blessed. God blessed me with skills, the ability to learn easily at school, the athleticism to play sports, and the confidence to be able to do things like public speaking and be the captain or the president of different groups. I know that I was given some innate skills, but I also worked my butt off to achieve by doing these things.
I did all of these things to be better, which then meant that I wasn't able to hang out with the other kids at lunchtime because I had a meeting or I was catching up on some work because I knew I had sports after school or clubs or something. That meant in high school, I felt left out. On the weekends, there would be parties and events happening. This was before the day of the cell phone, and so I'd sit at home on a Friday or Saturday night waiting for the phone to ring, and the phone wouldn’t ring, and I'd call people and they'd have already left to go out for the night. On a Monday, people would say, “Where were you?” Everyone thought that everyone else was inviting me out. Now, that a sad, unfortunate thing. It's not that I was bullied. But yet, I felt left out. I was called a “brown noser”. People told my friends, “Oh yeah, she's just a perfectionist and teacher's pet and all that.” But my friends really knew me. Thankfully, they spoke up for me. Then when I was invited to go and play for a boys’ soccer team, they did not accept me. When I was playing indoor with boys, and I would take the ball away from them, they would cuss me out and use very inappropriate sexual words towards me, and I've spoken about these in other blogs and podcast episodes. I'm just going through a list of these and maybe you've had some of these experiences. In high school, when I was running for student council president, there was a guy who was also running for it. He wasn't a part of anything in school, he just wanted the title. He made up lies about me which split the graduating class’ votes and forced a lot of the school to have to choose to follow him or me. Then I thought, when I won, it would go away. Nope, it just got worse. I was basically slandered in school. In my business, I've been wrongfully slandered. One of her connections told me, “She does this to people when she’s jealous of their success.” I know it was slander because the lawyer told me it was. I just chose not to put negative energy back into it. It’s sad these things happen. It could be happening to you, too! While you may not have had these specific cases, you may have felt like,
 This happens over and over again and repeatedly in moments where we don't want to speak up and we don't want to be fully ourselves and we stay hiding because it's just easier. Then we throw COVID into the mix. Well, that's hard to step out of. I totally get it if you're flying under the radar. I get why you don't want to be visible. I get why you're hiding. But we don't want to be in hiding anymore. I must keep checking myself,
Am I worried about things?
That's not even counting in the possibility of, what if this doesn't work? What if it does? I when I deliver a keynote, and women come up to me with tears in their eyes, and they say, “Oh my gosh, I felt like you were speaking directly to me. Thank you for sharing that story. Thank you for pointing out these things. I could see the emotion on you, and boy, did it change me.” And when I read comments, thank you cards, or emails that have been sent to me, and they say things like, “Diane, you've changed my life. Your program is the thing that gave me confidence. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be where I am today.” When I'm coaching someone, and they tell me, “Diane, last week when this situation happened, I heard your voice. I heard your voice in my head. It gave me the clarity of what I had to do based on what I remember you saying.” I know these moments are life changing for my clients. This is why I am not hiding. This is why I'm visible. These moments are possible when you're stepping up, you're stepping out, you're visible, and you're doing the amazing work you're doing. Or you're not getting this response, and you're missing out on it because you're hiding. It's important that we are visible. It's important that we are visible as our unique selves. How did I get the courage to stop hiding? Because I look at the thank-you cards. I read what they say. I look at the faces of the women at my events. I know they are way more important than the crap I could face from others. Shining You have to be visible. Now to which degree are you visible? That's up to you. This is one of the pillars in the Dynamic You Program is around shining. I'm not going to go fully into it. But the first stage of shining is hiding. You're not visible at all. You're not out there. People don't know you. People don't know what's going on. Maybe based on the past few years with what's going on in your life, you are hiding. But it's hurting you because it's like the little spark has been distinguished. I've had moments where my spark has been a full-on flame. I've had other times when it’s at risk of being blown out or it already is. It's important you get to put yourself out there in a way that feels safe. You have permission to do that. I have had many opportunities that have put me out there. Things like being on podcasts, speaking on summits, being in collaborative books, and being interviewed. I was just interviewed by Jack Canfield a few weeks ago and I held a watch party for it! (If you want to watch the replay, email my team at [email protected].) It's important to put yourself out there in a way that feels safe. Maybe you're not a, “I'm going to get on stage with 20,000 people” sort of be out there. That's okay, and you're not going to be the mayor of your city. That's okay. You're maybe not going to start your own podcast, and that's okay.  Standing out for positive things is really what I mean. Which positive things? Whatever you're passionate about, whatever you're an expert in. They’re the positive things, right? I don't want you to stand out because you did something bad or because you're a bully. Stand out for the things that your clients, your customers, your family, and your friends have grown to love about you. If you're standing out because you have blue hair, and you crack really great jokes, or you stand out because you make a mean apple pie, wonderful. Stand out for positive things. Wrapping Up I hope you take what I've said and see how you can have the courage to stop hiding and know that it's a process. I go into hiding sometimes. I come back out. I go into hiding, I come back out. The key thing is going into hiding should just be to preserve your energy, so you can come out and SHINE again! P.S. Grab the Dynamic You Book to learn more about the different pillars. Then stay tuned for the Dynamic You Program! If you'd like to know when the next program is coming out where I lead you through the nine pillars of being a dynamic woman, where shining is one of them, then please email [email protected]. Read my other blogs:
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Do you feel like you’re dropping the ball and don’t know how to get back on top? We have this metaphor about juggling balls in our lives with all of the tasks we are trying to get done. When we forget something or don’t do something we say, “Oh I dropped the ball on that.” For example:
 This could just be a normal occurrence because you always have too much on your plate, and you're always busy. You're always running from one thing to another. Or maybe it's because life got busy all of a sudden:
Even your kids, softball, and coach add another layer of responsibility. I know that you want to be on top of things. I know you want to be the one who not only does what they say, but also does it in a way that has great results. You don't want to be just doing things at 50%. I know you want to get things done the right way andon time with the best results possible. Juggling Balls What do we do when we have so many balls we’re juggling or so many plates that we’re spinning? How do we get through that time where it feels crazy? In one way or another, we’re going to drop something, forget something, not complete something and not do the best job we wanted to do.  Imagine we’re juggling so many balls when life gets overwhelming and we’re bound to drop a ball here or there. That can be a problem. Again imagine we’re juggling balls but this time, some are glass balls and some are rubber balls. If you drop a rubber ball they will bounce and you can just pick them up later. But if you drop the glass balls they will be damaged or break when you drop them. First of all, how do you know which are glass balls and which are rubber balls? Well, I have to let you know that this will change constantly. It's really about you sitting down with all the areas of life. Things like your health, kids, and finances are usually the glass balls. If you drop them, they will crack, or break and there will be consequences:
You have to ask yourself, "At this moment in time, which areas of my life are the most important?" By most important, I mean, which areas if dropped, will break, will crack, and there will be consequences. Let me go through the different areas:
Look at all areas of your life and ask yourself, which are my top priorities right now in life?
I'd say maybe you have three or four glass balls. Oftentimes, when life gets overwhelming or when we get sick or something extra falls onto our plate, this is when we have to go into “maintenance mode”. This means the mode where you figure out what your glass balls are, which are rubber balls, so your focus is on the important ones and then you don't have to worry about those areas as much. You can drop or lower your standards and your attention to those areas. For example, the time when my son broke his femur. He was about two and a half. He was in a hip spica cast, basically a full body cast. With that, he was at home and he needed me for everything. You know how toddlers are. They want a lot and very quickly. I'm working from home, but I'm also caring for him. So I knew that things like cleanliness of the house or seeing my friends and time with my husband at that point just wasn't as important. These were a few of the balls that I could just let bounce. They were rubber. Other times like in the passing of my father, or even in the time that he was in palliative care, I knew that my glass balls at that moment were my family, my health, my friends, and my spiritual life. My business, I put on the backburner (other than serving my current clients), also my personal development and fun and recreation. These other areas just were not on my radar. What you can do I ask you now, based on where you are in life, which are the glass balls that you're juggling, and which ones are your rubber balls? Now that you know that, what do you do with that information? You need to make sure that your calendar has time for the glass balls. That your schedule adds in focus time so you can do things to help those areas, strengthen them, or check things off on your list. Then look at the rubber balls. What does it mean to let things go in those areas, to let things slide or to go into maintenance mode where you just maintain that level, or you let it go just slightly below your satisfaction level and you don't put as much focus on it? If it works for you financially, you can also bring in help for those areas, like a cleaner, a meal service, or take an Uber instead of the bus to save time. What does it look like if the rubber ball involves other people? For example, if you were to do this with friends, you can reach out to friends and say, “Hey, I've got this big project at work right now, so I'm not going to be able to make our weekly meal out or a weekly call. It's just for the next three weeks, and then I would love to reconnect with you all.” I’m sure they will understand. Maybe you've been reading every day for 10 minutes or a half hour and you know that you need that extra time to be able to check in on a family member. Great. So be it. You just don't read as much for that week or two. You get to make the decision. You get to decide what you are keeping and what you are putting on pause or just not putting as much time and energy into. This idea of we're all juggling glass balls and rubber balls really just comes down to:
You don't have to be on top of everything in every single area of life. This tactic is really one of the easiest ways to rebalance your life to be able to refocus on the things that are most important and will really help you to move forward. As a reminder, each time you go into “Maintenance Mode” could give you a different set of priorities, a different set of glass balls. You just really need to be the one to make that decision, then put a plan in place and let those around you know if they're going to be involved or affected by it. Many times in my life, I have had to go into maintenance mode. I have had to let the rubber balls just bounce and bounce and bounce. This is not a forever thing. Eventually you do get to pick those balls up and honor those priorities again. But at certain points in your life:
 It doesn't matter. What matters is your sanity. What matters is your priorities. What matters is you're going to be able to overcome this and move into a time where you get to pick all those balls up again and juggle them while feeling calm and confident. If you're looking for a way to find more balance in your life or to go deeper on your priorities and how to really figure out which balls are glass and which balls are rubber, then reach out and let's do the “Life Balance Audit”. This is a complimentary session I offer from time to time which will help you see where you can balance your life. I have 5 to gift right now and you can book yours by messaging me at [email protected].
Life can feel full and unbalanced and then you need to find more time to be on top of your social media. And while social media truly has some great benefits for your business, it can get in the way of your personal priorities and take a lot of time. Since I love efficiency and saving time, in this blog, I’m going to share some tips to post on social media faster and easier. But before you try to cut time in any activity, ask yourself these 3 coaching questions I ask other female business leaders:
 Think about these questions as we go through the tips. (Take note: I’m not a Facebook expert. These are some tips I chose to do in my business as I grew it with 2 young kids. In case you didn’t know, Facebook can penalize you for using an external posting system. You’ll be penalized by not having your posts show up as often as posts that are organically posted straight to Facebook.) Now, there are ways on how you schedule posts for Facebook and other social media platforms: 1. Copy and Paste You could copy and paste your posts on different Facebook groups and schedule them. But if you really want to post organically, one tip I’ve heard is to stay in the box that you’re pasting in for 10 seconds because that is of Facebook's way of knowing did you actually write this post or if you went on a copy and paste spree. Extra Tip: Create an Excel or Word document where you have all your posts ready. This way, you can have your posts more organized and planned out and you will not be distracted by Facebook. 2. Use Scheduling Systems There are different tools that you can use to schedule posts for different platforms (not just for Facebook) at the same time like Buffer, Hootsuite, CincShare, and Planoly. I used Hootsuite before where I would create an Excel spreadsheet that contains all the information (what and when I’m going to post, hashtags, etc.) then I would bulk upload it to Hootsuite. Right now, I am using Planoly where I can schedule my posts for Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And even better I have my VA do it. Your reach may not be as good using this way so you have to ask yourself, is it more important to do this and have more time? Is that more important than having it have a bigger reach? In coaching many busy business owners, my thought is, "if using a scheduling system means you’re actually consistent in your posting, is that not better than being inconsistent in organic posts?" It all comes down to what you value the most. Extra Tip: Work on better content. Work also on staggering times like 1:07PM instead of 1:00PM or 1:23PM instead of 1:30PM so your post is not competing with posts at those times. Another tip is since you’re using these tools to schedule your posts, you can post on different social media platforms so you’re also present on those platforms.  3. Use Facebook’s Creator Studio Facebook has its own platform called Creator Studio. Use Facebook's own platform because it might be better because Facebook is going to like that more and maybe push more of your content out. 4. Cross-posting Facebook doesn't like this as much, but you can always push content from one platform to another. I can post to Instagram and have it fly over to Facebook and or Twitter. Is this the best thing for my time? Yes. Is this the best thing for my business? Maybe not. I'm dealing with the time that I have. So I encourage you to do the same - to think about what is the best use of your time. Extra Tip: Have someone manage all of your social media platforms then they can engage and post organically for you. Even if you don’t feel you have the budget, think about how you can make it happen. This will free you up to do more income generating activities. 5. Pick One Platform Pick one platform and make sure you're doing some organic posting by posting straight to the platform. Then get on there and actually engage with your posts, reply to people’s comments, like them, and ask them a question back.  If you push content from one platform to another - great! If you bulk upload to other platforms, great! But at the very least pick one platform and really put a lot of energy into it. Ideally, focus on where your clients already are. Extra Tip: Have good content. Create content that's engaging. Create content that could go viral because it looks good. Create something that people want to consume. Which of these tips will you try out? Let me know in the comments! If you have questions that I can help you solve, comment down below, so I can answer that in my next blogs. Join my FREE Facebook group Dynamic Women Global Community, I love sharing tips and techniques there. Read my other blogs for more time-saving hacks:
In my last blog, I talked about four aspects to supporting your success: networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach. The best is when you can have networking, an accountability group, a mastermind, and a coach all in one group. I share this with my clients. It helps them achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities. Why is this good? Think of an iceberg and water.  When you spread yourself thin and do a lot of different things, you only really get the tip of the iceberg because your bandwidth is so spread apart. When you have ONE group that you're working with to satisfy your masterminding, networking, coaching, and accountability needs, you get to go:
What are the other benefits of having these four things in one? 1. You save time because:
2. You save energy.
3. You save money.
 When I was able to see all of these benefits for myself and how it was a better way of up leveling my business I started looking for it. In the end, I created it for my clients. It was a huge difference. You’re probably searching for something like this - for something that would just ease the burden of all the things you have to get done. A speed course to help you reach your goals, a program that has four in one. Your one-stop shop to help you reach where you want to get to.  This is why I put all my years in my education, my teaching, coaching, delivering workshops, delivering speeches, presentations to groups of people, and all my personal and professional development, put them into one program - the She's Goaled Program. Check it out and apply to be able to reach your goals with the 4 point system. Here are some of my blogs that you may also enjoy:
I’ve struggled in my business at different times. I thought I was making the right decisions based on what others had suggested, but the problem was they weren’t actually doing what they shared with me.  I was constantly reviewing and making changes. Of course those mistakes were really learning opportunities. But the thing is, what if you just knew how to NOT make those mistakes? What I learnt is how quickly you decide to make a change and how fast you take action actually determines how successful you're going to be. If you can't make changes when problems come or you stay in the wrong decision for too long, then you're going to have more negative outcomes. As a coach, they don't teach us how to run a coaching business. So, I did these things: 1. I joined a networking group. Networking groups are great, but the problem was that the networking group I was in wasn't giving me a strong level of information that I needed on how to run a business that's in alignment with me. 2. I hired a good business coach. It was really great working with her. She helped me with business foundations, but I was missing that group interaction. I want a group of people, especially women, to come together and we can move our businesses forward together and I can get some information. 3. I joined a Mastermind. I joined a mastermind, but I wasn’t getting that high-level strategy that I needed from it. This mastermind was self-led wherein the participants were to lead it. I was the only coach and facilitator in the group. I ended up having to run it. That just felt weird. I started to feel like the coach, where I'm not able to chill and relax and just be part of this experience. And so I thought to myself, that's off. That's not right.  4. I had an accountability group. I thought maybe I just need a little accountability group to get things going and help me get things happening. But I realized, these people are not doing what they said they would do. And it was quite frustrating for me because at the time, I was pregnant. I was spending more of my time there coaching them how to reach their goals, and how to actually do what they were supposed to do. It was frustrating. That level of accountability wasn't there. I had a networking group, a coach, a mastermind group, and an accountability partner. They were all serving partial needs for me, but none of it was like fully encompassing all of my needs. It takes a lot of time to attend four different events. It was costing me time and brainpower. Each of them had its own set of requirements and expectations. I couldn't keep my head straight with all those things. It was also costing me money! What I wanted was ONE single track to put my business train on. To be able to just go to one group of people and have them serve all of my needs and get my business moving forward so that I am not wasting my time, energy, mind power, and money. Why isn't there something where a group of people can have the following aspects: 1. Networking - We get together and have networking opportunities. We start referring each other and can use each other's services. 2. Accountability - We can have accountability with someone in charge. Having an actual facilitator, coach, or someone in charge of that accountability can lead to better results so that the participants don't have to hold each other accountable. 3. Mastermind - In some groups, certain people take more time because the time isn’t being managed. When there’s a facilitator to facilitate the timing, everyone gets their time. It's not just the power of the group, but I want someone in charge that knows so many different things. 4. Coaching - Having someone in that group who can coach. The cool thing is, as they're coaching someone else in the group, you can learn so much, too. By being coached in front of others, you also have that feeling of we're in this together.  Which of those four pieces do you like the most? You can have networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach for your life as well in your business. In my next blog, I will share with you the ONE step I took that helped me achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities. You can also read my other blogs:
1. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions 2. Hire Help: 1 of 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 1) 3. 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 2) Last year I worked too hard. Not because I was told to, definitely not because I was forced to, but because I was the worst boss ever. How did I finally realize this? Another women told me! Imagine me bumping into a mommy friend who I haven’t seen since those lovely maternity days (and yes even with a new born I was still working, but I spent a lot more time getting to be a mom.) She says, “Wow you’re busy. I see you all over Facebook with your coaching, DWA meetup, and your workshops, along with other places.” And so we chatted about the things I was working on, I heard how she was doing and got updated on the progress of her kids (she has two.) She told me I should be proud of myself. (That comment in itself could be an entire blog post on the impact of a positive acknowledgment). I thanked her and said that this year I was focusing on getting my programs online so I could reach more people internationally. I wanted to streamline and spend more time with my family because I worked too much last year. Her response, “Well, don’t you work for yourself?” Well smack me over the face! I do! Hahaha! She was so right! I do work for myself and I work myself hard!
I LOVE what I do! I really do. With the drive I have for my work and the passion I have for the people I serve, I feel like I want to work…A LOT. But it’s a thing of the past; I’m changing. WHY? Well, the hard work gave me success, got me established, achieved great results for my clients, and gave me great nourishment. But it also cost me some things. We can only sprint for so long. I want to live the width of my life as well as the length of it. (Something I just spoke about in January to a group of mompreneurs).  Now I have a different set of goals; ones that focus on the process of life over the results.
Maybe in a part of your life you need to be a better boss to yourself. Or maybe you just need a friend who points out things you’ve been blindly ignoring. I’m curious, what would they say to you? xo Diane P.S. I’m thinking that I’m not the only one who works themselves hard. Please tell me I'm not alone. P.P.S. Inspire me and other entrepreneurs with how you are going to be a better boss to yourself. |
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