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Sometimes the people who get ahead are the ones who have more confidence. In this blog, I'm going to talk about how you can boost your confidence so that you can achieve more of what you want and be powerful in going for it, and how to boost your confidence using a three-step process.  Why I want to share this with you Every year as we come to the point of launching another Dynamic Women's Secrets Book, there's this weird place where the coauthors don’t feel like they are authors. (I'm calling them coauthors because that's what they are based on this process. They might be coaches, trainers, or speakers. They might work in a nine-to-five. They might be business leaders or entrepreneurs in another way.) Because they don’t feel like full-blown authors who have their own solo book they don’t share much about it, they don’t invite people to the book launch party, and don’t ask people to buy it. (Side note: We've launched Success Secrets, then Confidence Secrets, and then Trailblazer Secrets. We just announced that the fourth book, Leadership Secrets, is coming out in the next 12 months. Applications are open here.) They’re like, “Oh, Diane. You put it together, I only had a small piece in it and so I'm not really an author.” Yeah, you are. You wrote the piece. Your name is on it. Your face is on it. So often I see this, especially in my clients who are women, is that we downplay our accomplishments. We take that place of being humble. I'll tell you, men don't stand in that place of being humble most of the time. They own their successes. I'm not saying that they're wrong for owning their successes. I'm not saying they're egotistical. What they do extremely well is these three phases. The 3-phase process to become confident I'm going to talk through these three phases, give you some examples of how you can apply this to your own life, even though you might not be a published author, yet. Phase 1: Being present to your successes. Being in that place of, “What did I accomplish this week? Not just in my business, but in every area of life.” When you do that, when you look at every area, and you say…
When you're present with your successes, and you acknowledge them yourself and document them, you will boost your confidence. I love using the Dynamic Year Journal for this step. Every week, going in and writing down my weekly successes. I'll tell you, when you start filling this in every day or once a week, and you look back you go, “Wow, look at all the cool things I did. Look at my achievements. Look at what I learned from them. Look at who I was being. Look at what I mastered. Look at what obstacles I overcame.”  Whatever it may be, when we are present with our successes, we acknowledge them, and we write them down, wow, the power that comes from that! Here’s an example: I had a client who was going for a job. She felt this a little bit beneath her. She’s like, “But hey, I'll go to the interview. It's good practice.” When they started asking her questions about, “What successes have you had? Where do you do well? Have you done well in your jobs?” She could easily answer because she had been practicing writing down her successes and achievements. She could easily recall specifics when she did these things, who she was being, what she learned, and why she is amazing. Now, she didn't come across as egotistical. She came across as successful, confident, and the best option for them for this job. Now, as I said, the job was a little bit beneath her. But what happened was as the interview went on, and she was more and more confident and shared more and more of her successes and achievements, they changed the role. They even ended up giving her a better job title. And when the interview turned into an offer, she was in the driver's seat and was able to say, “If I accept, I'd like more vacation time. I'd like to be able to work remotely. I'd like all these things.” She got her dream position, and she had all those bonuses. Isn't that amazing? Because she gained confidence by writing things down and being present with her successes, she had them in the interview trying to woo her, changing the job, making it a better title, better job description with better benefits. Amazing example! Phase 2: Receive compliments and acknowledgments from others. There's a Business Insider study of how men and women view success differently. When men have success, they believe it's due to their innate skills and talents. Great. Amazing. High five, you guys. For women, they believe their success comes from luck and help from others. How many times do we receive awards, and we say, “I want to thank everyone else”? Or, “It was nothing” like when someone says, “Oh, that was an amazing dinner”, we say, “Oh, it was nothing.” You've heard these things before. We need to receive compliments. For example:
Receive compliments from others, acknowledgments from others, and be present with them. Breathe. Thank them for it, and then, go back to step one and write them in your Dynamic Year Journal so that you can capture the learning from them as well and document it as a success or an achievement. Receive those compliments. Don't deflect them. Don't push them away. Don't ignore them. Receive them. Thank them. You could even agree with them. Don't push them down. It's kind of like someone giving you an amazing gift, and you're giving it right back to them. We don't want to be doing that with these word gifts of compliments and acknowledgments. Phase 3: Announce it to others. This has a lot of people super uncomfortable. In the case of coauthors in the Trailblazer Secrets book and even the other two books, they need to announce:
It's not coming from an egotistical place. It's coming from a celebratory place. If you don't have people in your life who will celebrate you, if you just have people who cut you down or ignore the fact that you've done well, you need some new people in your life. I'm not saying you have to cut those people out. But you definitely need some fans, some people who will get excited with you, for you, and encourage you to do more things that maybe you didn't believe you could. When you announce things to others, like when I announced the interview with Jack Canfield, how he was interviewing me, people paid attention. When I announced being flown down to Washington State to do the opening and closing keynote, people paid attention. Do you know what came from that? By announcing these different achievements, people not only paid attention, but opportunities came my way. Opportunities that were in alignment with what I wanted.  You can have the same thing happen too. Announcing it to others doesn't have to be like, “Look at me. I'm so amazing. I did another book.” It can be, “So grateful to be able to share my story in this book.” It could be, “I'm a published author. Thank you to Diane and her team for putting this together.” We can still come from a place of gratitude without pushing down and ignoring our successes. Wrapping Up I encourage you this next week, when you have a success, sit in the glory of it, sit in the excitement of it, and write it down. Also, when you receive compliments and acknowledgments, say thank you. You also don't have to say a compliment right back. You can just say thank you, and then write those acknowledgments and compliments down so that you can easily share them with others. In the next week, and I hope moving forward, you'll do all these three things, look for something you can announce. Maybe even today, as you're reading this blog, you have something you've just recently accomplished, share it. Don't just think about sharing after the success. You can share before it happens. You can share when it's happening. You can share after it happens. That's a really smart business move to be able to leverage something longer. For the Jack Canfield interview, I said I was going to do it. I then showed photos of me going to do it and then talked about the experience and how it was. It was funny because, I didn't even release the interview for about 45–60 days! People kept saying to me, “Oh, can I still talk to you? You've been rubbing shoulders with celebrities” and “Well, how have you been doing amazing things to have Jack Canfield interview you? This is incredible!” I realized, “Wow, I haven't even put the interview out there. No one's even heard it. They just knew it was happening, or it had happened.” You can leverage your successes and your acknowledgments. This will also boost your confidence because not only are you acknowledging it yourself, other people are acknowledging it. But when you announce it out there, other opportunities or people wanting to work with you will come forward, it's going to boost your confidence even more. Let me know which of these three phases is the most important for you. They all are important, but what's the number one for you? If you have a topic that you'd like me to cover, please reach out to [email protected]. P.S. You have an opportunity to be a published author in 2024 alongside me! You’ll boost your credibility and increase opportunities and profits! Apply today. Read my other blogs:
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Have you been feeling like, “Oh my gosh. I just have too much going on right now” or “Life is just moving at a really fast pace”? Then maybe you need to make your own Snow Day.  What is a Snow Day A snow day means there’s no school for the kids and no work for most of us. A lot of things are being cancelled because we would get a big dump or a really big storm through the night and the snowplows, the salt trucks, and everything, they just weren't able to keep up with how much was being dumped. My Two Snow Days I'm in North Vancouver, but I grew up in Ontario where we had quite a few snow days. Ontario has a really good infrastructure for that, so we didn't have as many snow days because they were on the ball. But in Vancouver, we don't have the greatest infrastructure to take care of all the snow when it does come. Plus, not a lot of people have the right tires. I could go on and on and on about this, plus the geography of hills and mountains against us. We're very hilly, up and down all over the place. When snow dumps in Vancouver, there is almost an automatic snow day because we can't handle it.
That's what happened to me… I woke up to my women's church group being cancelled. My lunch meeting was cancelled. School was cancelled. All of a sudden, all of these responsibilities and commitments that I had, were just wiped clean. Emptied off my schedule. Here’s what I want you to think about on a Snow Day: it’s a day when you're not going to be meeting people or going anywhere. What it opened my eyes up to was:
 How it opened my eyes It showed me the physical, emotional, and mental relief of, “Oh, okay, I don't have to rush around. I can just cozy up in my house.” Had it been another day, it wouldn't have affected anything because I work online. I have so many bookings, one after another that are all virtual. But in this case, it was a day of rushing here, rushing there, and going all over the place - all wonderful things that are priorities in my life that I really did want to do. But all of a sudden my day opened up. I had a leisurely morning. Sipped my coffee, drank it while it was hot, and eased into my day. That's the one thing that I was thinking about - easing into my day. The other thing was, as I said, catching up. Catching up on things that I hadn't gotten to yet. This is what it opened my eyes up to. Maybe you've had a recent snow day or a day when things got cancelled.
You-Made Snow Day I want to flip this from a nature-made snow day to a “you-made snow day”, meaning a day of no outside commitments and not even virtual commitments. I've talked a lot with clients about having “Me days” or days when there's no responsibility. It doesn't just mean you take a day off of work, but then you go to the dentist, and you run errands, and you pick up this thing, and you go fill in that form. No! A day of absolutely no responsibility. A “me day”. You wake up, and you ask yourself, “What do I want to do today?” It could be:
This is the idea of a “Me day” - having no responsibility for work or life, unless you feel like it. Instead, a snow day is a day that you're still going to do some work, but it's going to be slightly more slow-paced and restful. It'll be “You-led” where it's like, “What do I want to do right now?” It's a great catch-up day. What I did in my Snow Days We ended up having two Snow Days. Here’s what I did:
I was able to get things moving. I've got some really fun things happening that I want to do this year, so I reached out to two people who have done similar things and have inspired me. I reached out to them to have a conversation. There are often so many things to do and having that ability to just go back through that to-do list that's been hanging out in my head or hanging out in my memos where I think, “I have to get to that. I have to do that thing. I have to finish that.”  Man, did I feel super productive! It was amazing. How to create your own “Snow Day” that is consistent? That's what we want it to be - consistent. With “me days”, I talk with my clients about having at least one every quarter. Ideally, a “Me day” once every month. It doesn't have to happen on a work day or a weekday. It could happen on the weekend. But being able to have a snow day at least once a quarter. But wouldn't it be fun if there was a “Snow Day”, that happened once a month? Maybe you've heard of buffer days, clean-up days, days of no meetings, days that you don't let people know you're in the office sort of days. No, it's not on the weekend. But what if every quarter you created one of these “Snow Days”? A day of no meetings and responsibilities. It was filled with whatever you knew you needed to do. What would the benefits be to you? Maybe…
How do you create consistency nowadays? You just book it in your calendar. You look at your calendar and think, “How often do I want to have these?” Once a quarter? Great. Go to every quarter and pop that day in. This is what I'm going to be doing. I'm going to mark “Snow day” and just book the whole day off, so no one can book my calendar. I'm actually going to do this once a month, if possible because I have stuff every day, but I'm going. How do you best use your snow day? Well, maybe as you go through the month, and you're freaking out about different things, “Oh, I’ve got to meet that person. I’ve got to do that task.” You just create a Snow Day list of things that you might want to do on a snow day. Then when your Snow Day happens, I encourage you not to plan anything in yet. But as you wake up on your Snow Day, you go, “Ok, what do I want to achieve today?” You can go back to your list to start checking things off. Plus, you can start the day a little bit slower, easier. Maybe your day ends early. Maybe you start it late, and then you end it late. But you also have a nap in the middle of the day, just like you could on a “Me day”. It’s not a day during the month or during the quarter to start plugging meetings into it. Treat it as if you're on a plane and you cannot be reached. Those are some of my most productive times. I don't get the internet. I write or I brainstorm, sitting on a five-hour flight. That is the best use of my time because I'm not distracted by anything else. Wrapping Up What do you think? Are you going to make a “snow day” for yourself? Or when a snow day happens, are you going to capitalize on it? Maybe the whole time you've been reading, you've said, “Oh Diane, the snow day was horrible because the kids were home” or “I had to shovel” or “I still had to go out because people still wanted to have the meetings”, then you need to create your own “snow day”. That happens when you say it happens. Where you get all the benefits of what a snow day can provide you without the surprise of when it's going to happen and without the needs of others, really pulling from all the benefits of your snow day. Let me know. Are you going to try it? Have you tried it? Share your wins with me. Share this blog with a friend. Because hey, maybe you want to have your snow day together. Let's hold each other accountable to have one snow day, every quarter, once a month, every other month, whatever it may be, so that you can really feel the benefits that I felt during my own two legitimate snow days. Until next time. Stay dynamic! P.S. Do you have your copy of the Trailblazer Secrets Book? If you haven’t yet, order here. This NEW “Game-Changing Book” reveals how you can use simple tips to be a trailblazer, increase your motivation, and feel empowered to achieve your goals. Read my other blogs here:
One of the highlights of my 2023 was being interviewed by Jack Canfield. I’ve shared it in my podcast, my social media, and on YouTube. But there are a lot of nuggets in that 20-minute interview so I want to share with you now the full transcript in this blog! Read my answers to Jack’s burning questions about my passions and the challenges my clients face. Enjoy reading!  JACK CANFIELD: Hi, I'm Jack Canfield. You may know me as the co-author of the 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' series, the book 'The Success Principles,' and featured teacher in the movie 'The Secret.' I'm here with Diane Rolston, and we'll have a great conversation about her amazing work in the world. Welcome, Diane. DIANE ROLSTON: Thank you. A pleasure to be here with you. JACK CANFIELD: I'm glad you're here. Tell us a little bit about what you do. DIANE ROLSTON: Well, Jack, I do two things. First, I've had great success as a certified life and business coach. I specialize in coaching high-level dynamic women as well as entrepreneurs. I find that they prioritize success over their satisfaction in life, so I help them rebalance their life while still getting to their goals quickly and powerfully. Because of my work, I'm often brought in with my expertise to do keynotes, so fee-paid keynotes. I talk to women's groups. I speak to conferences, associations, corporations, and such. They have me basically come in to be the person to inspire them, to get the event going, and to share some of my strategies on leadership, success, business and life. Because of that piece, the coaching and the speaking and how I run my business, I've had people come to me and say, “Diane, how do you do all that you do and still have a life and have a family?” I’m married with two kids.  As you probably know, many different things connect to someone's success. But one of the main things is that I have really, really great virtual assistants that helped me behind the scenes. When people like these high-achieving women, business owners say, "Diane, how can I do that, too? How do you hire them? How do you train them? What do you delegate?" Then, I tell them, "Oh, well, I actually do more than just admin tasks." Because a lot of people think, "Oh, a virtual assistant does your email and calendar." Instead, I do other things, higher-level tasks and projects with them things like they're going to support my:
All these different things a busy business owner must do every day and doesn't have time to do. That's how the second business was formed. I now consult, coach, and provide virtual assistant services for the busy business owners I work with. JACK CANFIELD: You have virtual assistants you've trained and help people hire? Is that what you're saying? DIANE ROLSTON: Yeah, I share many of my systems, my processes, and how I've been doing my coaching and speaking business with my clients. Plus, I'm a podcaster. I have books, run summits, and a women's community called Dynamic Women. With all that, they say, "Okay, cool, we can just take that." It becomes straightforward for them. It's like an easy recipe to follow. It's like, A-B-C 1-2-3. I connect all the dots for them. JACK CANFIELD: It's interesting because I do a lot of consulting with entrepreneurs, usually startup people who are just starting small businesses, solo entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, whatever. They always say, "Well, what's the next thing I should do?" I say, "Hire an assistant." The best thing you can do about anything is hire an assistant. It can be a virtual assistant or someone local, whichever. But half of my staff started as interns for free as assistants in my company, got to know them, worked well, kept them around to now they move on up, whatever. But it's so important. Do you find that many people feel like they don't deserve an assistant? They don't feel worthy of it? Or do they feel like they can't afford it? DIANE ROLSTON: All of those things. All of those pieces. I think it's based on what society has drilled into them. This picture of this hard-working 80-hour-a-week solopreneur that means:
JACK CANFIELD: You're passionate about what you do. Why so passionate? Where'd that come from? DIANE ROLSTON: Great question. I want people to awaken. I want to provoke them to what's possible. I want to unleash the dynamic version of themselves. When I'm brought in to do a keynote, whether it's an opening or closing, whatever it may be, I often share one of the struggles that I had and one of the biggest learnings, which is to stop measuring your life according to your success. What happens is people do that, and then they get into this place of, "I'm only happy when I have success." But once they reach the success, they realize, "Wow, success is fleeting." Then they chase that next goal, that next high of achievement, but then they realize, "I'm not even satisfied inside." That's sad. I see it a lot in high-level, dynamic women and entrepreneurs who end up being overworked, overwhelmed, and pulled in a million directions. It's like they're on that hamster wheel, right? It's just going faster and faster and faster and faster. Eventually, they fall off. Instead, I encourage them, "Measure your life according to your satisfaction." If I were coaching you, Jack, I'd say, "Hey, let's use this tool. Let's look at all the areas of life, and what do you want in every area?" That's one of the most challenging questions people have to answer. You probably know it in your world. Most people ask, "What do you mean 'What do I want?'" To see the visual when they can score their satisfaction and ask, "In the future, what do you want in these areas?" and when they get really crystal clear on that, they go, "Oh, this is great. I can choose what I want for myself," not just what society has dictated is successful, what society has decided that just confines and defines us. I want to be able to bring that to more people. That's why donating my books and proceeds to women in shelters is important to me. JACK CANFIELD: Oh, good for you. There are a lot of people out there who say they coach people, they help them live more successful lives, whatever. I think you've answered part of this by talking about satisfaction. But what makes your work different or unique compared to all the other people who are out there doing that? DIANE ROLSTON: Yeah, you're very right, Jack. When I work with people, I give them strategies. I give them ideas. I give them a clear plan. I pull out of them what they want. But a lot of other coaches say they do that, too. I think the difference is I'm still in the game. I'm not on the sidelines. I'm doing the coaching. I'm working on myself. I am constantly like, "Okay, how can I be more satisfied," and I'm doing all the things in my business and at least overseeing them. I'm still in the game where I find many other people who don't have the experience I do, or they were doing this 10 years ago or even just a few years ago. But if you're on the sidelines, you don't know what has changed in your ideal clients' lives their businesses, with technology.  Because I'm still in it, I understand. I can relate to my clients, to the struggles they've had, to the fears they have. Because of that, I also feel it's really important that my clients get me when they hire me. They get me. They get my consulting, my coaching, my speaking. They're not going to get someone under me. That's probably part of why I have over 1000 five-star reviews on social media and other platforms. That's part of it. I think the other piece I aim for is a complete transformation. Not, "Let's have a quick fix. Let's make this happen overnight." No. I want a full transformation, an entire shift so that it can not just be in that specific situation but ripple out into other areas of life. Plus, they're a catalyst for change for others. JACK CANFIELD: Now, you alluded to one of these things earlier, but I'll ask you again: you see a lot of challenges out there in the world that people are having. What do you see as the most common challenges? How do you help people address those and overcome them? DIANE ROLSTON: Great question. It's funny because I love challenges. I grew up playing competitive sports. I have to create challenges for myself so I'm not bored. But I know you're speaking more about problems in this case, right? Obstacles that people face. When I'm coaching one-on-one, in a group program, or even in a virtual session, I often hear from these high-level women and entrepreneurs that their challenges come up. I'm going to share three challenges with you. I'm going to share some that are pretty much universal to all. The first one is that you have to balance work and life. You probably already know it isn't true, and you're like, "That's a lie." These challenges are all lies. I'll tell the lie, and then I'll tell the truth. If you're looking at work and life, they won't be balanced. The reason being is work is only one of the areas of life. We need all areas of life, so people are always like, "Well, I'm never going to be able to balance that." For me, that was an eye-opener. I'm a little bit of an A-type, recovering perfectionist. When I saw that, I went, "Ah, no wonder life's not balanced." It's not going to be. Once I started looking at my whole life, all ten areas, that helped me to allot where my time is. For my clients, I'm like, "Okay, so now what do you want in all these areas? How do you want things to be when you have that clarity? Then you'll be able to put in the right amount of time, energy, and money." That's the first lie. You spoke about the second lie earlier: you don't make enough, or you're not big enough to hire or delegate. That is such a lie. Now, maybe you know, your day one in your business, okay, like, "Let's figure out what you're going to do first." But entrepreneurs still believe they can't hire someone, as you've said. But the thing is that people are thinking, "Oh, they're too expensive." But what I found in my experience is that they're a lot less than you think they are, at least in my team. They're also very highly competent. When they're able to take things off of your shoulders, you're going to have more time, more energy, and more money. You're going to be able to increase your revenue. The coolest thing is, what if the person you hired could earn you enough money to pay for themselves? That's the clincher there. That's what we're looking for. The third challenge is something that I often see. It's usually in response to someone being offered a great opportunity. They'll say, I'm too busy to take on anything else. Now, they're too busy to take on the wrong things. They're too busy to take on the wrong things. They have time for the right things. But until they get clarity on the things they want in life, they will always say "Yes" to the wrong things and "No" to the right things. I've seen that happen with people getting kind of their dream opportunities. They have to say no because they don't have the time, the energy, or the money. That's just heartbreaking. So heartbreaking. In those moments, I want to say, "Come on, you got to do this." That is one of the final challenges that I see for people. They need clarity. JACK CANFIELD: Cool. If I was sitting here watching this, and I was what I like to call a "right fit client," someone who could benefit from what you do, I would want to work with you. It's clear because you have the knowledge, skills, insights, and experience to help people at a deep level. Do you have any parting thoughts about someone who's watching this that might encourage them or give them ideas about how they might work with you? Or why should they? DIANE ROLSTON: I hope everyone watching will grab a pen, write this down, and take it in. Because this is one of the key things that I had to learn myself, and then it's kind of a way of shifting in the people I work with. That is, you can't do it all yourself. You can't do it all yourself. Right? Jack, I want to ask you, you’ve never seen geese fly alone? No, right? They don't fly alone. They fly in a V. Now, why is that? Because they're in a flock or even a few, they're always in a V because they can fly further, faster, together. You probably know in your industry and all the great work you've done, there's such benefit to having a leader who will draft the path for you. Also, to have those around you to be able to encourage you. But what I see oftentimes, sadly, in high-level women, in entrepreneurs is that they come in that place of like, "I'm going to do it," and they get burnt out. They can't do it all. They may give up on their dream, which is sad. I'm hoping that those at home, those who are watching, think about, "Wow, okay, so what do I need? I need my flock. Where am I going to find some people around me?" That's why I created the Dynamic Women Global Club. That's why I did group coaching masterminds because of the benefit of others around you so that when you reach adversity, you can come in with the group and have them support you. You also need a good leader. Someone who can coach you through can guide you to make it much easier. I'm hoping that people stop being that lone wolf, the silo and that they embrace that more of a team mentality. JACK CANFIELD: I saw something the other day. It said, "No one ever climbed Mount Everest without a team." You can't do it alone if you really want to get to the top. It's impossible. It will never happen. First of all, thank you. You're very cool. Appreciate it. DIANE ROLSTON: Thank you very much. You are, too. JACK CANFIELD: No, it's good. I mean, you're all watching this; I will encourage you to get in touch with Diane. I think all the things you talked about, the challenges that people have, you can't do it, can't afford it, all that if you're living in that, and you probably are, you need to stop and work with her. She can help take you from where you are to where you want to be. I love that you talk about all the different areas of our life because people say, "Balance work and home." Well, work at home, there's spiritual growth, family time, hobbies, taking care of yourself, and self-nurturing. Exercise. All those things have to come into play, and having a life that can be fulfilling in all those areas of your life, which life is meant to be. Diane is someone that can help you do that. I want to encourage you to take advantage of the fact that she's available in the world, can help you, and be part of that community she talks about that can give you the support you need to fly like the geese. I love it. Alright, thanks for tuning in, everybody. Wrapping Up That’s it! Being interviewed by THE Jack Canfield feels like a huge accomplishment for me. What’s your takeaway from this interview? I’m eager to know, so leave them in the comments! P.S. Do you feel overworked, overwhelmed, and pulled in a million directions? If yes, then here’s my gift for you. Download your copy of the Key 2 Success book where you’ll learn the The 3 Dangerous Trends Professional Women Face that keep them Overworked, Overwhelmed and Pulled in a Million Directions. Read my other blogs here:
Last week, I shared the first part of this blog where I talked about the backstory of I locked in a shift in my business and what a shift means. Now, let’s continue…  Why do we want to shift our perspective and then lock it in? When you’ve done the work to get yourself into a new better place, you don't want to shift back to where you were. It is so easy to shift back into what is comfortable. If we're going to make that change, we need to do something to lock it in. Sometimes with clients, we lock in a perspective with ‘yes’ ‘no’ statements. They give you safety bumpers like in a bowling alley. Shifts can also be locked in by changing your physical environment. It can be as simple as finding a different type of flooring in your house. I’ll ask clients, “Where is there different flooring in your house? Does the room you're in go from carpet to tile? Can you jump over it like a threshold?” Jump into this new place. If we can jump into this new place, then there's that physical event that happens and the physical reminder that you have been changed. It's kind of like Joseph Campbell's Model of a Hero. The hero goes into the belly of the whale. They hear the call. They say, “Yes, I'm going to go into this shift or into this battle or into this journey to have the shift.” They have encounters and battles along the way. Then they come out. They emerge. They are shifted. They are different and in a new environment. Shifts can also be witnessed and have a ceremony. That's why for a lot of major events in life, we have a wedding ceremony with people watching to really commemorate that special shift. From some people I've talked to who did a little courthouse wedding, they said it just didn't feel the same as when they attended other people’s ceremonies and receptions. Think back to when you graduated from school or a program. For me, I graduated from university. However, I didn't go to the actual graduation because I was traveling Europe. I decided to stay after my rugby team was in Barcelona together to do a tour. I missed my commencement, which meant that I felt a little bit like it didn't happen. That the moment was not marked by walking across the stage, moving the string of my cap from one side to another or throwing it up in the air. What I did to lock in the shift: A funny story Before I share this story, think about what would be a special item or way you’d lock in a shift because if you had suggested to me how I would lock in my shift just four hours later, I never would have approved. How I locked in my shift might be something that you’d be a little repelled by because it’s not how you’d lock in your shift.  I had clarity and then a shift in how I want to market my business and my services. I was going to go from the “work-boots” into the “sparkly shoes”. I'll let you know to be completely transparent, I was crying through this epiphany with relief to have the clarity and because I felt its truth in my soul. She said to me, “I'm glad to see you're crying because making a big shift can be a scary thing. If you weren't crying, I'd be worried about you.” After this, my coach asked me, “How are you going to lock in the shift?” The next day was actually my 44th birthday, which was really cool timing, so I was thinking, “Well, I'm going to turn 44.” That was kind of the funny answer, but I didn't say it because it was already happening and was not how I was going to lock in the shift. Anyway, I sat there, and I thought, I'm going to buy red-bottom shoes (Christian Louboutin shoes). I told her, and she replied, “Well, I'm not mad about that.” We were in LA, so she said, “Okay, so we're going to Rodeo Drive tomorrow?” I was like, “Yeah, I’m buying the sparkly shoes!” She wondered, “Do you know what you’d buy?” I said, “No, I don't have any Christian Louboutin shoes. I haven’t even looked at them before. I don't know.” Then she tells me, “Go in my closet.” She had some in her closet, so I grabbed a pair. They were a pink and black pair with spikes on them. When I put them on, my energy matched the shift. I was like, “Oh, here I am in these great shoes.” The funny thing is, just five minutes before, I was blowing my nose and cleaning myself up because I had a really big cry. Now, I'm sitting super confidently in this chair with these great shoes on, these Christian Louboutin shoes, the red bottom shoes. Now, if we went back about four or five hours before that, there was talk at this mastermind of us going to Rodeo Drive shopping. They were all excited, and they turned to me because I was the only one not excited about shopping on Rodeo Drive. I've been there before. I don't really care about pretentious brands and blah, blah, blah. I thought, “I don't care. I don't care about shopping. I'm here to get the answers. I've been wanting some clarity. I want to have a shift. I want to know what I'm going to be doing. I want to have answers. I want to get what I paid for to be here at this mastermind. Not shopping.” I said, “Yeah, we can go if we get all of our work done.” This is because it was before the shift when I was still in my work boots thinking, “No, I'm only allowed to go to Rodeo Drive if I've done the work.” How interesting when she said, “What are you going to do to make the shift the lock this in?” I said, “I'm going to buy a pair of red bottom shoes.” I was excited. After I said that, I put on the shoes, and then I embodied the confidence and joy. Trying on the shoes is how I started to lock in this shift because I didn't want to slip back into this place that I was stuck in since 2019, with a lack of clarity and lack of my soul-driven path. We had a great dinner. Afterwards, in bed, I looked online and found these amazing new sparkly shoes. There was also a lot of stuff happening in my head. It was things like:
The practicality. My limiting beliefs. My old way of thinking over in the work boots was potentially going to sabotage this powerful shift. I knew I needed to do this. I needed to get them. Then the next day, after we finished a lot of our work, we headed to Rodeo Drive. The funny thing is when we arrived, there was a lineup outside the store, which I also then thought was absolutely ridiculous that we were lining up to spend a ton of money. In my head, I was like, “I don't want to be part of it.” I said, “Actually, let's just go around the rest of Rodeo Drive, and then we'll come back here.” We went around. I didn't really care about things. It kind of felt a little bit like the movie Pretty Woman. Julia Roberts is going into these stores and people aren't treating her seriously because she doesn't have any of the bags, and she's wearing her Rolex and throwing money all over the place right away. It was quite interesting, just the feeling of that. We go all the way around, and we come right back to Christian Louboutin. I walk in the door and I see my shoes, the shoes that I want, I see them. I said, “Oh, I'm going to work my way around because they're over there.” It was like they had a personality, like I personified them. The store clerk laughed and said, “Oh, she's planning her course, and she has her eyes on a pair.” I was like, “I do. I'm going to be trying some on that are over there.” I went around, and I saw a bunch of shoes that were gorgeous, but also not practical for me because if I'm wearing 100-millimeter or 120-millimeter high shoes, I can't walk around on stage for keynotes and I can't be at an event all day. Not only that, but I have had plantar fasciitis issues. Let's be real. I'm in my 40s. Every time I play soccer on turf, it hurts my feet. I'm not going to be too crazy about my shoes, but I still want them to be the sparkly shoes. I go and I try them on. I tried three pairs on. Some light pink ankle boots. I tried some white 100-millimeter shoes, and then I tried on my shoes - Hot Chick Slings in hot pink. Whether you purchase a new ring, a red blazer, a Wonder Woman costume, whatever it may be, when you put the thing on, it can help you to lock in the shift and revisit the feeling you originally had. For me, these are an investment. The funny thing is after I bought them, my coach said, “Actually, California is the worst place to buy them because we have more sales tax.” Then the practical part of me spoke up, “Yeah, I totally could have bought some shoes at an outlet and saved money.” But the key thing is, when you go to lock in a shift, the locking in needs to happen very close to when the shift happened. Otherwise, we get back into the old habits, back into the limiting beliefs, the saboteur starts to awaken and go, “Oh my gosh, they're going to be on the right path. We have to yell, be loud, and be obnoxious in order to keep them safe in this comfortable place.” You're not running from a saber-toothed tiger, right? You're not fleeing from a burning building. You're okay. You're just making a shift into what is important in your life. For me, it was crucial that I bought them the next day. It was also crucial that I had my these people with me, my coach and the other two ladies who were there. It was crucial that I had this experience at that time, that I did not leave LA and that mastermind without locking it in. Now, the cool thing is, I did then wear the shoes for when Jack Canfield interviewed me in Vegas just two days later.  I'm telling you all of this not so that you go buy red-bottom shoes. No, I'm not saying that is what has to happen for you. What I am saying is anytime you have made a shift mentally, emotionally, physically, in your perspective, whatever it may be, lock it in, it is crucial that you lock it in so that you don't slide back. You have different options of how you lock things in. But actually, I could have purchased glitter to recreate the sparkly part. I could go and buy a little sparkling jewel to clip on my shoes. I could buy a little porcelain shoe. I could go online and find a picture of sparkly shoes, print it off and stick it up. I could have a sparkly shoe painting commissioned. There are so many different things that I could have done, and you have the same options as well. What you can do I ask you right now, think about what things in your life have you been trying to stay in, but you keep shifting out of it. Is there a new role, a new habit, a new way of thinking, something that's happened in your life, and you want to stay there without going back? Lock it in. If I can be of any help in doing some perspective work, going through that in order to help you get to that new perspective, to help you to get that shift happening, and then lock it in, I'm so happy to be able to do that for you. Reach out to [email protected]. Tell me a little bit more about what I can support you with. Wrapping Up I'm curious, what was your biggest takeaway? What I hope for you is that you step into a more soul-centered or purpose driven place, that really has you feeling at your utmost best. Towards the life you were meant to live and the work you're supposed to do in the world. I'm going to do another talk on that because the shift was so strong and so amazing for me. I can see, for many of my clients too, the shift happens and even though it’s positive they freak out. They get scared, they backpedal, and they backtrack, and then they're right back where they started. I've seen that so many times, and it just breaks my heart when I know it's the right thing for them. Did these shoes cost a lot? You could think of it that way. Were they a great investment in the direction I'm going? For sure! When I was back on Zoom with my coach and her other clients, she asked, “Are you wearing the shoes right now?” I said, “No, I'm inside. I'm wearing slippers.” She says, “Put the shoes on. You're supposed to wear the shoes.” And so I did! And I keep putting them on, even just when it’s me at home! I'm in the land of sparkling shoes now, and I've locked this in, just know that while you may not be seeing outwardly the shift online, know that inwardly and behind the scenes, this stuff is happening. I already talked to you about the shift that happened to me, change is coming, and why I'm loving the word ‘provoke’. I'm also telling you about this humorous keynote that I'm developing. Just stay tuned for all of that excitement. Please know that when you engage with me, give me feedback on these different aspects, and you're part of my journey, it all really does help to keep me locked in this shift and help me to go in this direction that I know is meant for me. Thank you. Thank you for your support. If I can be of any service - Please reach out! P.S. I love going live and hanging out in my Facebook Group, the Dynamic Women Global Community, so make sure that you’re part of it - it’s free! Read my other blogs:
Have you had a really great shift, but you’re worried about slipping out of it or worse, you know that you already have?  I locked in a really big shift in my business life, and I want to share with you how you can do that too. In previous blogs, I shared about feeling stuck and how not to feel stuck anymore. I also shared about how I had that shift. Now, I’m going to talk about how you can lock in that shift for yourself. Have you ever been in a place where you didn't like where you were, and you felt stuck? Then, you found the clarity to change, but you found yourself slipping back into the old ways, the old habits, the old behaviors, or the old way of thinking? Because if your answer is yes, then read on. Backstory Back in 2019, I was looking for some clarity on what my unique positioning statement is. I kept asking:
I went to different coaches, and they were telling me, “Oh, you should be doing this” or “You should be doing that.” Nobody was actually properly pulling it out of me. I was so frustrated. It was not that I was being picky because I'm extremely decisive. It was that everything that was chosen for me didn't feel like the right fit. Maybe you've had that experience before and felt like, “This just isn't right.” You know when it is right and when it isn’t. In high school, when you try on a prom dress, you're like, “It's nice, but I'm not having that feeling.” If you've ever watched those, “Say Yes to the Dress” shows, and you see the moment that the bride puts on that dress, and she says, “This is the one”. She often has that emotional response or that really pumped up excited response. I was looking for that feeling. Now sometimes I thought, “Oh, this is just good for now. Let's just run with this.” That's kind of what happened with the Virtual Assistant Made Easy Program that I started. It felt good. There was that spark there. I knew it was a fit for my mission of helping business owners to be able to implement strategy, to be able to have some freedom in their business and not be so overwhelmed and burnt out. Also, business owners will be able to get ahead because the tech is done, and the different tasks are completed. I support them with the strategy as well as supporting the virtual assistant. However, I knew that this wasn't the soul work, the stuff I was meant to do on this planet. I was frustrated, but I never gave up hope because I had such a yearning for this clarity. I could see myself on stage in a BIGGER way! That's the thing. I could see myself on these massive stages with all these women, impacting them. I knew that it would be life-changing. I’ve had this feeling of wanting to wake up women - women who are just going through the motions and moving ahead those women who are feeling stuck, or the women who are flying under the radar because they're tired of getting attacked for standing out. They know they keep getting taken down, and they're fatigued. I have such a desire to support them that I knew I had to find the clarity. Finding my clarity Finally, I found it. When I was in LA in a coaching mastermind, with my business coach/marketing coach, and I had the shift. I had this epiphany that I've been in the work boots. Meaning that rather than being in my zone of genius, I've been in a place where I'm really good, but it's more head work. It was harder to do. If you can relate to that feeling, let me know. That feeling of, “I'm really good at this. This is going really well, but it's still not the right fit.” I'm in the work boots, and she said to me, “I think your woman is tamed, and she wants to be unleashed.” I was like, “Yes. Yes!” That for me was the answer. I had this inner knowing that, “Oh, we're on the right path here. This is it. This is the piece.” Previously in the year and I've said this in different places, podcasts, blogs, and such, that I heard our national President of CAPS (Canadian Association of Professional Speakers) say, “Speakers should only speak if they're going to persuade or provoke.” That word provoke got me really excited. I was like, “Okay, I'm really excited about this provoke, but what am I provoking? What's the thing I'm provoking?” When she said that your woman is tamed, I was like, “Yes.” We just want to bust out. She said, “I think maybe you're tamed, too.” I was like, “Yes because I'm in this work boots place, and I want to be in the sparkly shoes.” Do you feel the difference between the two? I want to go from work boots to sparkly shoes. Maybe you also have been in a specific place, and you want to shift to another place. Maybe you've had a negative perspective, and you want to go into a more positive perspective.  As we were wrapping up my coaching session, that epiphany for me was like gold. I was like, “I know it’s a two-day mastermind, but I could just be done here. But she said, “Wait a second. Before we end this, how are you going to lock in this shift tomorrow? Like when you wake up, how are you going to stay in this place of sparkly shoes, of joy, of soul work, of going back into marketing yourself as a life coach? Rather than the work boots and the business coaching, the problem-solving and the strategy? How are you going to lock in the shift?” Great questions…but first I’ll share… A shift can be in your mindset. For me, it was a shift in my business more so of, “Whoa, I'm over here, and I really think I want to be over there.” I really want to go away from marketing myself solely as a business coach to marketing myself more as a life coach. That was a complete mental shift in how I viewed my business. I've been doing life coaching since the beginning. It's been like 13 years now. But when I go to events, I speak more about coaching small business owners and virtual assistant services. It's a change, and I've been holding back on what I’m doing my new humorous keynote on. It’s not about VA services. It's not about business strategy. The shift for me was mental on how I viewed my business and my services. Maybe for you, a shift is coming from a limiting belief into a new paradigm for yourself. Limiting beliefs like,
Shifting it to,
 A shift can also happen in your perspective of a situation. Now you might think, “Well, that's a limiting belief.” No, your perspective of something. It could be one perspective that's still a positive perspective. But when you shift it to a different perspective, it allows more to happen. For example, my perspective of my business could be, “I'm a business coach, and I offer these things.” Then a new perspective could be, “Well, I'm originally a life coach, so I can offer all kinds of services.” A perspective shift might also be about a situation. For example, “I don't have many options because I've got kids at home.” On the flip side, a new perspective you could hold about that situation is, “It's amazing that I get to be home with my kids, and I also have the freedom to choose what I want to do.” It's just a different way of looking at things. It's like you put on a new set of glasses, a new way of looking at something, so you’re able to then take the blinders off and things can be opened up. Anytime I do perspective work with my clients, we look at the situation, and how they are viewing this topic. Then we try another perspective, then another one and another one. We talk about,
Then, after trying them all on again, we decide on what is the right perspective for them to hold. Now, when you make that shift, it might feel like Goldie Locks, “Oh, as we go this way, there are even better perspectives. But that one is so unbelievable that I can't take that one on. But this one feels more comfortable.” For example, it could be that you dislike someone, and your perspective is, “I hate them, I'll never be friends with them.” Then another perspective is, “We're best friends again.” That's just too far off. Maybe in the middle is, “I can be cordial to them. Maybe I'll add them to my prayers every day. Or when I see them, I'll say hi. That's it.” With the different perspectives, you can grab onto a new one. It's just like changing your clothes, “What perspective are we going to have today?” But we don't want to shift back into the old perspective. For me, the shift would be me going back to focusing specifically on business coaching, doing all my marketing towards that, all my offerings towards that, and all my speaking engagements towards that and scaling the VA services even more. Because it is easy to shift back. Why? This is comfortable. Whenever you have a perspective shift, a mental shift, a shift of some kind, you have to lock yourself into this new place. Otherwise, you're going to shift back out. It's kind of like if your body got realigned, it's so easy for us to shift back into that place of misalignment. In my next blog, I will share with you what I did to lock in that shift. P.S. The launch of the Dynamic Women Trailblazer Secrets Book is here! We’re going to have a virtual launch party, and we’d love for you to celebrate with us! Grab your free ticket here. Read my other blogs:
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