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If you've ever wondered "Why am I not reaching my goals?" or "Why does it take so long?” in this blog, I'm covering exactly that. Not with tough love, but with real insight from the women who have joined my She's Goaled Coaching Mastermind over the years. Because there's so much to learn from what they said at the start and where they ended up.  The Goals Were Different. The Needs Were the Same. When I look back at the goals that women brought into She's Goaled over the many years and many different groups, the goals were all different:
Different goals. Vast and varied. But something really stood out to me. What the women needed to reach those goals was surprisingly similar. These women didn't lack ambition. They didn't lack ideas. They had plenty they wanted to accomplish, probably just like you. Real women have real goals. But when I looked at their application and discovery forms before we got started, here's what they said they actually needed:
They already had their goals. That's the beauty of this program. I'm not going to make it worse by having you learn a lot or bring on new goals. You already have things you want to accomplish, goals you want to reach, projects you want to complete, milestones you want to hit. What they really needed and maybe what you need too is the support around those goals.  The Bigger Pattern While the specific goals changed from woman to woman, the same needs kept coming up underneath them as we went through the program. Almost all of them needed: Focus. Clarity. Accountability. Encouragement. Perspective. Follow-through. These are the things I have needed in many areas of my own life too. That's why I have coaches, trainers, advisors, a mastermind or someone else to keep me on track. Because it's so easy, especially when you have kids or aging parents or other things pulling you in, to let go of the things you really want. There are so many fires and so many things pulling for your time, resources, and energy. This Is Different from Needing Another Course You want to learn about AI, so you take an AI training course. You want to be a better boss, so you read a leadership book. But She's Goaled is different: while you have goals and may need to learn certain things, you don't want to be bombarded with another course full of information and homework. This just naturally flows along with your life. Because you’re probably like most accomplished women, you already know a lot. The issue isn't "I have no idea what to do." You probably do know what to do. You're just not doing it. More often, it's: "I know what I want, but I'm not consistently moving it forward." Let that land for a second. What are you not moving forward because other things are getting in the way? Maybe your confidence is stopping you. Maybe you're getting in your own way.  One woman in She's Goaled wrote that it was easy to look at someone else from the outside and help them, but not as easy when she had to do it for herself. You can be incredibly smart and capable. You can be the woman everyone comes to for advice. You can see solutions for everyone around you, and still struggle to see your own situation clearly. Because you can be brilliant at helping everyone else and still need people who can see in you what you can't see for yourself. Why Your Goals Keep Getting Buried She's Goaled exists not because women like you don't know how to set goals. You have lots of goals. You probably have too many. But most of the time, those goals get buried underneath everything else. Your business, your clients, your family, other people's needs, unexpected problems. What happens if your dishwasher breaks? You have to jump into action, get someone to fix it, or buy a new one, and wash everything by hand in the meantime. And before long, the things that matter most to you are at the bottom of your list. What changes when you have that support?
How many times when you tell someone else your problem- a friend, a coworker, someone in a networking group- do they come right back with their problem? There's not that dedicated, specific time. You go into supporting, problem-solving, and encouraging them when you need it yourself. In She's Goaled, you don't have to figure out every decision by yourself. You don't have to stay up late wondering, "Is this the right next step?" or go down the rabbit hole of the internet looking at what everyone else is doing, or buy another course to figure something out. You have women in the group who understand your ambition and what it's like to have a full life while you're trying to reach your goals. When life gets busy, your goals don't just disappear. Goals like These Women The Woman Who Wanted More Clients She was struggling to create a clear, consistent strategy. In the first couple months, she had increased her clients and her revenue. But more than that, her confidence grew. She was able to take what she learned and apply it to her next launch, her next product sale. The Woman with Lingering Projects She had projects hanging around. Some at home, some in her business that she just couldn't seem to finish. Once she got a step-by-step plan in place, she said: "Oh my, why did I wait so long?" She started checking things off and dropping the weight of "This is still on my plate." The Woman Who Bought an RV She was putting off the next stage of her life. She wanted to downsize and felt that urge for more adventure but wasn't sure what that looked like. With the coaching, the accountability, and the group support, she ended up getting rid of her stuff, selling her house, buying an RV, and starting to travel while running her business, all within a couple of months. Her confidence and momentum were thrilling for the whole group. I often say She's Goaled is like a speed course for your goals because that's what happens. You get going, and you just fly. The Goals Don't Have to Be the Same That's what I love about She's Goaled. Yes, a lot of women come in wanting to build their business, get more clients, make more sales. But we don't limit it to just business. One woman might be growing her business as her first priority. Another might be launching something new, like me with my one-woman show Chasing, or someone launching a book. Another might be creating more time and financial freedom. Another might be finishing something she's talked about for years, or building her health. The goal doesn't have to be the same. But it does share that willingness to take what you want seriously. This group is an incubator to make that happen. The Question Worth Asking Maybe you have goals right now that you are not achieving, not reaching. And with what I'm sharing, you're thinking: these are the things I actually need. These are the things that are going to help me move forward. Ask yourself: What would it look like six months from now when I’m in She’s Goaled? The hard truth is six months are going to pass either way. You have to think about the thing you've been saying you want… maybe for months, years, or even your whole life. You don't necessarily need another idea. You need the right support around the ideas, goals, projects, launches, and dreams you already have. Fast forward and imagine looking back from six months in the future, realizing: I really did it. I made the decision. I finished the project. I grew the thing. I stopped putting myself at the bottom of the list. I didn't have to do it alone, and I'm glad I didn't, because it was so much more fun and produced much better results. If nothing changes about the way you're currently approaching your goals, where will you be six months from now? The same? More frustrated? Will you have burnt through the confidence you had? Are you happy with the answer to where you'll be six months from now if nothing changes? If not… or if you think "Yeah, I'll be okay, but could it be bigger? Could it be better?" — then I'd love to have you in She's Goaled. Applications are closed September 4th at 11:59 PM Pacific. If you know you want more clarity, coaching, accountability, and women in your corner, take a look at the details and apply. Your goals may look completely different from every other woman in the room. Great. You're going to learn a ton from them. The key thing is: you don't have to reach them alone. Six months are going to pass either way. The question is… what do you want to be different when they do? Who do you want at the finish line when it happens? Until next time, stay dynamic! Listen to the full Dynamic Women podcast episode here. Or watch the full YouTube Video here.
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If you haven't watched or listened to last week's episode or blog on whether you're setting goals you actually want and permission to let go of the ones you don't, I suggest you do that first. Because today, we're taking that a step further and asking: If we had to think about just ending the year right now, what would you feel guilty for not finishing? Is what you said in January still what you want by the end of the year?  Why January Goals Don't Always Survive the Year January is a great time to set goals. But January is also when we have the least amount of information about how the year is actually going to go. At this time of year, we have more info. We're moving to the end of summer, coming into September, past the halfway point of the year. So far, we know:
This is almost like a mid-year reality check. Rather than having a mid-year crisis, we are going to recalibrate and use this time to do that. My own priorities have evolved during 2026. I had good intentions and set certain goals. But for example, I didn't realize how much my one-woman show, Chasing, would become a very big creative focus, which is fantastic, but it just needs more of my time, energy, and support from professionals in theatre. Virtual Assistant Made Easy also needs a slightly different direction than I planned to scale. Great things I'm learning, wonderful things we're putting in place, but again, that was a change. My ideas around community have been evolving too, with almost all invite-only, more curated events for women making six-plus figures with their own established businesses. My energy, my health, and my family life have also changed. Little plug for hormones, yay. Upping my estrogen has me feeling so, so much better. Some goals may still matter to you. But other goals are no longer a fit, and new desires have come up that we couldn't have predicted in January. That's why recalibrating in September is so helpful. Why Changing Direction Isn't Failure What I see in women is that we often hold ourselves to goals that were created by an earlier version of ourselves. Now, at this part of the year, it's not how we want to end the year. We'll feel guilty if we change direction. We'll feel guilty if we let go of something we committed to. We often feel like even just updating a goal is failing. But when you have new information, you make a different choice. That isn't failure. That's changing direction. That's making a smart move. It's also awareness, leadership, and responding honestly to the season you're in. It's like at the beginning of a holiday when you're touring around Europe or wherever you are. You're like, "I want to see this. I want to do this. I want to do that." Then you get to a point and say, "We don't have time for everything. So what could we actually fit in?" Someone says, "I really want to see this place or eat at this restaurant." You start to narrow it down to the most important pieces of your vacation. The same thing applies to our year. Let's put together the most important pieces. The Client Who Thought Her Year Was a Failure One of my clients came into coaching with so many unfinished goals. She thought, "This year sucked because I have so many goals I haven't achieved." She felt horrible and so behind, like she was procrastinating, or lazy, or something was wrong with her. In coaching, she started to realize:
You can be ambitious, but let's not list 20 goals. Let's pick our top five, ideally three, because there are a lot of things that will just come up that you'll do anyway.  When I asked her, "How do you want to feel by the end of the year? Where would you not have any regrets? What needs to be accomplished?" she got so much relief. It helped her choose fewer and more meaningful priorities. With that clarity, she could focus and use her energy where it really needed to go. Her confidence also increased because she was moving forward and making real progress. Why Doing This Alone Is Hard When you're looking at your own goals, everything can feel equally important. What do I choose? What do I keep? What do I release? What do I prioritize or even add in? You can make choices based on urgency: "I only have this amount of time, so I'll choose the ones that are faster" rather than choosing based on impact, importance, and how you want to feel at the end of the year. The worst thing is to look back and say, "I didn't achieve what I wanted. I'm not happy with how the year ended." Then you carry over all those unfinished goals into the next year, holding on to them like a pair of jeans from high school, "It'd be great if I could fit into these again." Probably not. You may also keep something on your list because you've already invested time in it, already started going down that road. But if you keep going down a road you don't want to be on, you're wasting more time, energy, and resources. At the end of the year, you're going to be like, "That was stupid." What Are Dynamic Goals? Outside coaching and mastermind support help you see what will make the greatest difference now. Or even better: how can one goal help you satisfy five? I call that Dynamic Goals. When I can do one thing and get an ROI of five times, ten times or even just two times, that's so much better. I can cross more off my list and achieve more in the same amount of time. Dynamic goals are about doing less to get more, choosing the goals that create the biggest ripple effect across your life and business. How She's Goaled Helps You Finish the Year Strong This is why I'd love for you to check out She's Goaled, my Group Coaching Mastermind Program. Doors are open until September 4th at 11:59 PM PST. It's first come, first served; once the seats are filled, they're filled.  Inside She's Goaled, you get the chance to pause and make intentional decisions so you can be confident about what's coming next. You won't have to carry a goal forward that's old and doesn't fit. Instead, you'll:
This isn't about squeezing another year's worth of goals into the last four months. This isn't a rescue mission because you're struggling and drowning. It's just an opportunity to make an honest decision: What matters now? What would I be so disappointed if I didn't finish by the end of the year? What jazzes me up? Because you don't need January to begin again. You won't have to worry about delaying your progress. You really just need clarity about what you genuinely want next. Apply for She's Goaled. Apply as soon as possible. As I Wrap Up You don't need another year to start over. You just need an honest answer to: What do I want next? And how do I want to feel at the end of the year? That's it. Not another long list of goals. Not another round of discipline and willpower. Just honesty, clarity, and the right support to make it happen. Until next time, stay dynamic! Diane Frequently Asked Questions Is it okay to change your goals mid-year? Absolutely. When you have new information about your energy, your business, your life, what's working and what isn't, making a different choice isn't failure. It's awareness, leadership, and responding honestly to the season you're in. Holding yourself to goals created by an earlier version of yourself, when you now have better information, is what actually holds you back. How do you reset your goals in September? Start by asking: How do I want to feel at the end of the year, and what would I regret not finishing? Then look at your current goals and sort them into three categories: goals that still matter, goals that have quietly expired, and goals that were never really yours to begin with. From what remains, narrow down to your top three to five priorities and build a realistic plan around those, not around urgency, but around impact and how you want to feel. What are dynamic goals? Dynamic goals create a ripple effect by doing one thing that satisfies multiple outcomes at once. Rather than working through a long list of separate goals, a dynamic goal gives you an ROI of two, five, or ten times over, allowing you to achieve more in the same amount of time with less scattered energy. How do you decide which goals to keep and which to let go? Ask yourself three questions: Do I still genuinely want this? Does this still fit who I am and what I have going on right now? And how would I feel at the end of the year if I didn't achieve it? Goals that still matter will have clear answers. Goals that have quietly expired will feel heavy, forced, or like they belong to an earlier version of you or to someone else entirely. I'm Diane Rolston, wife, mom, connector, athlete, nature lover, cheerleader, and the coach for high-achieving women who want to be successful AND satisfied. I work with everyday successful women who have spent their entire lives creating an identity based on their achieving and responsibilities, and are ready to put themselves and their desires first. Through my 10-area life assessment, values work, and life design process, I help women stop measuring their lives by success alone and start measuring by satisfaction, so they can take a stand for the AND. Learn more at dianerolston.com.
Before you work any harder towards your goals this year, I have one question worth asking: Are you setting goals that you actually want?  That's what I'm covering, so you know whether you're chasing the right thing. This is important at this time of year, as we're finishing up summer and coming into the fall. It's important any time of the year. But it's especially important now, before you do that final push, to ask: Are you chasing things you think you should want? The Problem with How Ambitious Women Set Goals Ambitious women are really good at setting goals or long lists of to-dos anyway. But not every goal comes from a genuine desire.
Many times we pick a goal because it’s what you’d always said you wanted. Then we just stick with it, even though it doesn't feel like the goal that we actually want anymore. My Own Story: The Certification I Didn't Actually Want Years back, I was doing training as part of my work, and I thought, "Wow, I want a certification in this." There's something called a Certified Training Professional (CTP), and you can take courses and get certified. But I thought, I've been doing this for so long; I can probably just challenge the exam and send in an example of my training and workshops. To challenge the exam, I thought I should probably read every book they suggest in case there's some specific philosophy, theory, procedure, or formula in their exact wording I should know. So I bought all the books and made a reading plan, but I just wasn't doing it. I wasn't excited about it. I was thinking, How am I going to get through this? Thankfully, I brought this topic to my coach. I said, "I'm just not moving forward. I need some motivation on this." She brought me back to: What makes this important to you? What still makes you want to do it? I thought, "Well, because I said I would do it." She said, "But do you still want to do it?" I was like, "No." She said, "But do you want the outcome?" I thought about it. Not really. BUT I'm the kind of person who finishes what I start. I paid to do it. I bought all the books. I said I would do it. It's the next logical thing. But after some more coaching, I realized: I don't want to do this. So why am I still doing this? Part of me thought letting go of this original goal was failure. But through coaching, I realized it's not failure. It's just me choosing what I want now. Letting that go creates room for something that feels more aligned. Have you ever bought some clothing, a piece of furniture, or even a meal and thought, "I'm so excited. This is so amazing!" and then later you're like, "Oh, this doesn't fit right. This actually isn't my style anymore. I wish I could have had this other thing instead."? It's the same with goals. What Are "Should Goals" and Why Do They Feel So Heavy? We need to ditch the "should goals." Here's what they look like:
 These goals may sound impressive. They could even be smaller things. But they can often feel heavy because of that word should. That is someone else's expectations on us. That feeling of: if I'm not doing this, I'm wrong in some way. Women can assume they're procrastinating when they may actually be resisting a goal that doesn't belong to them. That's why we need to check in with the goal. You might not be stuck. It might be that it's not the right goal for you anymore. Why It's Hard to Hear Your Own Voice In coaching, we get to hear our inner voice. It's hard to hear your own voice when you're alone inside the business, inside your life; you're just too close to the decisions. While you may be feeling something, you're hearing it but not listening to it. This is actually something I bring up in my one-woman show, Chasing, where there's a character called the Spark. The main character has lost her spark. And the Spark says, "Yeah, she stopped listening to me years ago." Maybe there's an inner voice that you've just stopped listening to. Thankfully, with my coach at the time, was able to pull out what I really wanted (not the certification) and let it go. Even though I spent money, made a commitment, and had all the books, I was allowed to let it go. Coaching gives that space to separate what you genuinely want from what you've maybe been told, or what you previously wanted. We can change our minds. The Client Who Wanted a Promotion, But Actually Wanted Something Else I had a very ambitious client who came to me thinking she needed help achieving a specific goal. She wanted a promotion. But underneath that was: “I want to be more balanced and happy.” Was the promotion really the solution?  After talking it through, doing the wheel of life, and really seeing what an ideal life looked like, she realized the promotion wasn't really what she wanted. If she wanted more balance and happiness, it actually wasn't getting the promotion, working harder, and making more money. Her boss had said, "Yeah, this is going to happen in the future." People around her were supporting her: her husband, her friends, everybody. She said to me, "Diane, is it wrong that I just want to be at home and make crafts with my kids and grilled cheese sandwiches?" I said, "No. If that makes you happy, then that's great. That's what we'll work towards." She said, "But it's not a BHAG: a big, hairy, audacious goal." I said, "So is it what you want?" She said, "Yeah." And once she was able to see that, she could choose a direction that just felt way more aligned. She became more confident, happier, and she moved forward naturally. It created that balance she was craving, all because she let go of someone else's version of success and chose her own. Why This Matters Right Now Fall often feels like a fresh start. For us here in North America, school starts in September, and business starts to pick up. We get back into our routines. You start thinking, "Okay, get back on that goal." But it gives you that chance to pause and ask: Is what I said I wanted still what I want to accomplish? You get to have that option. It's worth asking whether the goal still fits what you want, and still fits your life because carrying the wrong goals into a busy season just creates more pressure. You don't want more pressure. She's Goaled: The Space to Get Clear on What You Actually Want This is exactly the kind of focus we have inside She's Goaled, my Group Coaching Mastermind Program. (Doors close September 4th at 11:59 PM Pacific.) I want to be clear: I'm not telling you to drop all your goals. Sometimes the goal doesn't need to be dropped. Sometimes it's about achieving it differently. For example, I didn't write my book by typing at a computer or writing in a pad. I actually wrote a program and had that made into a book. That's a different way of looking at getting to a goal. Or like my client wanting balance and happiness, and it wasn't the promotion that would get her there. It was being a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes it's making the goal even bigger than it was before. That's pretty exciting, too. Women arrive thinking they need help achieving one specific goal. Sometimes the first breakthrough is actually realizing that the goal needs to be rewritten. Inside She's Goaled, you get:
That clarity can save months of effort. Imagine if I had gotten coaching around that trainer certification earlier; I probably wouldn't have invested all that time, money, and energy into those books ad the process in the first place. Before you create another plan, before you push yourself harder, make sure the goal is actually yours. Make sure it's what your current self still wants. Because you don't need more discipline, more accountability, or more motivation for a destination you really don't want. You just need honesty, perspective, and support to choose what fits you now. Applications for She's Goaled are open. A Final Reminder A goal you don't actually want will fight you every step of the way. There will be friction, and no amount of discipline can fix that. Before you push harder this fall, ask yourself honestly: Is this goal actually mine? Does it still fit who I am and what I want right now? If the answer is yes, run at it with everything you have. If the answer is no, give yourself permission to let it go, rewrite it, or find the version that actually fits. You can't build the life you want by chasing goals that belong to someone else. Until next time, stay dynamic! Diane Frequently Asked Questions What is a "should goal" and why is it a problem? A "should goal" is a goal driven by external expectations, comparison, or social pressure rather than genuine personal desire. Examples include "I should be making more money," "I should launch that offer," or "I should want what other successful women seem to want." Should goals feel heavy because they carry someone else's expectations, not your own. They often create resistance, procrastination, and a persistent feeling that something is off, even when you're making progress. How do you know if a goal is actually right for you? Ask yourself: Do I genuinely want this, or do I want it because I said I would, because I've already invested in it, or because it seems like the next logical step? If the goal feels heavy, if you keep procrastinating on it despite having the skills and resources, or if you feel resistance rather than excitement, it may be worth examining whether the goal truly belongs to you in this season of life. Why do ambitious women set goals they don't actually want? Ambitious women are skilled at goal setting, but not every goal comes from genuine desire. Goals can come from expectations of others, comparison to peers, wanting to prove themselves, or simply following what seems like the logical next step. Over time, these externally-driven goals can feel misaligned, but the investment already made (time, money, commitment) makes them hard to let go of. What should you do when a goal no longer feels right Letting go of a goal that no longer fits isn't failure. It's choosing what you want now. Sometimes a goal needs to be dropped entirely, sometimes it needs to be rewritten or achieved in a different way, and sometimes it needs to be made even bigger. The key is getting honest, outside perspective to separate what you genuinely want from what you've been told to want or what you previously wanted. I'm Diane Rolston, award-winning life and business coach, professional speaker, podcast host, and founder of Dynamic Women Global Club. I help ambitious women get clear on what they actually want and build a plan to make it happen. Learn more at dianerolston.com.
Have you ever felt like you're getting things done, reaching your goals, and other people even look at you and think, "Wow, she's doing so amazingly well," and yet you still feel like you're behind? That's exactly what I'm sharing...  I see this pattern constantly in the high-achieving women I coach: women who are successful on paper but don't always feel successful. They reach one goal and then almost immediately start focusing on the next one. There's very little time in between to enjoy what they've created before they move the finish line again. And I've lived this myself. When Achievement Doesn't Feel Like Enough I had a very meaningful milestone when we won a podcast award and were ranked in the top 50 podcasters: number 17 out of 50 that year. Rather than saying, "Wow, this is amazing," I was already thinking: How do I get closer to number one? How do I increase my downloads? How do I increase my subscribers and my listen rates? I didn't even let that accomplishment land. That's what I see in so many women. Friends of mine who are successful, clients of mine who are successful, women in my CAPS community (Canadian Association of Professional Speakers), so many different places. A lot of times we're either looking at all the things we did wrong, or we're jumping ahead to all the things we want to accomplish next, because we’re ambitious, or the achievement didn't satisfy the itch, or for some reason or another, we think we need to do more. Many of these women come into coaching or into my circles already accomplishing a lot. They don't need someone to push them harder. They really just need a place to step back and see what they've already built, to get perspective outside the noise. Either the noise in their head of "do more, do better, do the next thing," or the noise of the business and the responsibilities and the clients and everyone else who needs them. Real Stories of High-Achieving Women Who Felt Behind The Year I Had a Baby I can remember going through my Dynamic Year program (now called The Breakthrough) with a couple of other coaches the year after I had my daughter. She would have been about 13 months old. I said to them, "I didn't accomplish much last year." They said, "Are you kidding me, Diane? You had a baby. You breastfed the baby. You kept the baby alive. You took care of the house. You still ran your business. You made mom friends. You went hiking with them. You brought your daughter to a lot of baby-and-me things. And so much more!" But I just thought: "Oh, I was going to do that anyway." The process of growing a baby and having a baby didn't feel like a big deal because somehow or another, I would have had the baby. That's what happens. Nine months and the baby comes out. I just thought it was normal. I didn't actually see that as a success because of the hundreds of millions of women who have gone before me and done it. The Client Who Needed More Certifications I had a client who had been in business for a long time, and she looked really successful from the outside because she was. But privately, she kept feeling like she needed more training, more certifications. She couldn't run her own workshop until she did more and more things. She kept focusing on what was missing rather than what was working in her business and all of the knowledge she already had.  Through coaching, she started to see that she wasn't actually behind. She started to see how she was already ready to deliver those workshops. She didn't need more certifications to give her permission. She really just needed to give herself permission. She needed to acknowledge her own progress. She needed to decide what she wanted success to look like and feel like going forward. And after she did, she held her first workshop. The Client Measuring Herself Against Someone Else's Timeline Another client was newer in her business but kept measuring herself against someone else's timeline, someone else's success. She saw other women growing their businesses faster, launching more, putting out programs, getting their websites done, having beautiful business cards and everything made her feel like everyone else was further ahead. Being part of a group coaching environment, though, she started to see: "Oh wow, everyone's in a different season, and everyone has a different pace that they run at." My son is a sprinter. When they asked him to run the 1,500 at track, I was like, "Why? That's not his pace." His friend who runs the 1,500 is not very good at the 100 and vice versa. It depends on the pace you want to go at, and what you're capable of, as to what your output is going to be. Rather than feeling like she needed to do everything at once, make the website, have all the marketing materials, do workshops, have programs, write a book, get a podcast, all the things (which happen over years and years of time, especially if you're doing it yourself), she became so much clearer about the steps she needed to put in place in her plan. She could ignore everyone else's version of success and start creating the life and the business that she wanted, not the one she thought she needed to have. What Happens When Success Doesn't Feel the Way We Thought It Would This is actually one of the big ideas behind my one-woman show, Chasing. What happens when success doesn't feel like the way we thought it would? I worked with a client who, along with two friends, sold a business for 75 million dollars. His cut was 25 million, but he found he wasn't happy. So what happens when we keep believing that the next achievement will finally make us feel satisfied?  Goals aren't the problem. Goals are amazing. Goals help pull us forward, help us reach our dreams. Achievement isn't the problem either. The problem is that we keep chasing more. We want to do more, be more, have more. Maybe we feel that pressure from society outside of us. Maybe we feel that pressure from inside by the saboteurs pushing us forward. But we don't stop long enough to ask: Is this the life I actually want to live? I can remember a client saying, "The next step for me is to get a promotion at work.” When I asked her, “What do you want?” She said, “I actually want to quit my job, be a stay-at-home mom, and do crafts and make grilled cheese sandwiches." I said, "Then do that." "Yeah, but it's not like a BHAG — a big, hairy, audacious goal.” "It doesn't have to be. Would that make you happy?" She said, "Yes, it totally would." "Great. Then that's what you do." Do what will make you happy (within reason). You have to pay your bills, take care of your kids, all that stuff. But if your life is allowing you to make that choice, do it. It doesn't have to be the biggest, most impressive goal to count. Why High-Achieving Women Need Space More Than They Need Another Goal Women need to have that space to step out of the day-to-day and really look honestly at where they are: a bird's-eye view. Then the coaching to help them see what they may not be able to see on their own. Some things are right in front of us, and we have our blinders on, or we're just not noticing them. Then having other women around them who understand ambition, who understand, "I want to be successful", but also understand the pressure that comes with it. Because as you move into the next level of success (six figures, multiple six figures, seven figures), you probably now have a team, more staff, more expenses. Maybe you buy that bigger house, and now you have the pressure of more expenses. The pressure can come with success, not just before it. The goal isn't simply to accomplish more. It's to create success that also feels satisfying. Maybe You Aren't Behind After All Maybe you've simply become so focused on what's next, the next goal, the next achievement, the next thing in line for your success, that you've just stopped noticing how far you've come. So many times we get to the top of the mountain, and we don't look back. We don't see how far we've climbed. We have to do that. Maybe your next step isn't another goal. It's just making a plan that goes with the goal, and finding the accountability and support to actually follow through. Having that space and support to decide what you genuinely want next. Success and feeling like enough, success and satisfaction, rarely arrive together automatically. The gap is worth looking at, not outrunning it, and not feeling the pressure to do even more. If you want that space, that coaching, and that community of women who understand both the ambition and the pressure, I'd love to have you in my She's Goaled Group Coaching Mastermind Program. Doors are open now and close September 4th at 11:59 PM Pacific. It's application-based because I keep the groups small to make sure there's the right mix of people and the right fit for you. If you have any questions, feel free to email me: [email protected]. Listen to the full Dynamic Women podcast episode here. Or watch the full YouTube Video here. Until next time, stay dynamic! Diane Frequently Asked Questions Why do high-achieving women always feel behind despite accomplishing a lot? High-achieving women often feel behind because they move the finish line immediately after reaching a goal, leaving no time to acknowledge or celebrate what they've built. The focus shifts instantly to what's next, what's missing, or who else is further ahead, creating a constant feeling of being behind even when objectively succeeding. Why doesn't success feel satisfying for high achievers? Success often doesn't feel satisfying for high achievers because the goal was never clearly connected to what they personally wanted, only to what they thought they were supposed to want. When success is measured by external achievement rather than internal satisfaction, reaching the goal rarely delivers the feeling they were expecting. How do I stop comparing myself to others' success and timeline? The most effective way to stop comparing yourself to others is to get clear on what success looks like for you specifically in this season of your life, not someone else's season. Everyone is running at a different pace, with different resources, responsibilities, and starting points. Comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter ten is never an accurate measure. What should high-achieving women do when they feel behind? Rather than pushing harder, high-achieving women who feel behind often benefit most from stepping back to see what they've already built, getting honest about whether their goals actually align with what they want, and finding support and accountability from women who understand both the ambition and the pressure that comes with it. I'm Diane Rolston, award-winning life and business coach, professional speaker, podcast host, and founder of Dynamic Women®. I help high-achieving women create success that actually feels satisfying, not just impressive on paper. Learn more at dianerolston.com.
What if the reason you haven't reached your goal has nothing to do with motivation? Would that make you happy or annoyed?  I'll be honest. I'm not motivated every day either. If you plan on only working when you feel inspired or motivated, it's probably not going to work out for you for very long. In this blog, I’m sharing why you don't need more motivation to reach your goals. Motivation is a Feeling, Not a Strategy People might assume that because I'm a coach, I wake up every day motivated. Or that because I've been a competitive athlete, I'm always motivated to go to the gym. But I don't. I don't always feel excited to work out, record a podcast, write a blog, make a difficult decision, tackle a big project, or do my laundry. If you've been telling yourself "I just need more motivation," I want to change your mind. You might not have a motivation problem at all. That could be a big relief. There have been many times when I waited for motivation. It just never came. One example is writing my book. I kept waiting to be inspired. I had the outline and the title. I kept waiting to be excited, to be completely ready to write it. But those feelings didn't consistently arrive. What helped me move forward wasn't suddenly having more motivation. What I needed was to get clear on the next step. I also needed to decide when I was actually going to do it, and then have someone who expected me to follow through (AKA accountability). That's when I realized I wasn't really missing motivation. I was missing something completely different. Motivation is a feeling. It's not a strategy. You can't just say, "I'm going to be more motivated" any more than you can say, "I'm going to be happy." Motivation is wonderful when it shows up, but it's not always predictable. It changes based on our energy, our emotions, our sleep, our health, our workload, and whatever else is happening in our lives. A feeling of motivation was never meant to carry a 6-month goal, a 1-year goal, a 5-year goal, or a really intense goal. When we rely on it, and it disappears, we often think, "I'm failing." But it doesn't mean you've picked the wrong goal. It doesn't mean you're lazy. It just means you're human. Side Note: I'm going to let you know that She's Goaled™ Coaching Mastermind is coming back. It's a speed course to reach your goals. The program is starting in September, 2026. Doors are open now. Read on because I’m sharing some other things you can bring in that are also part of the She's Goaled Coaching Mastermind program. If you want to learn more, click here.  What You're Actually Missing 1. Clarity Sometimes we say:
But those goals are just too vague to act on. Or even worse, you don't know what you want at all. Your brain needs to know what you're actually working towards, what it looks like, what it is. When you say "I want to grow my business," what does that actually mean?
I've seen women work incredibly hard but still feel stuck because they haven't known what success specifically looks like. Once that goal becomes clear, it's so much easier to decide what to do next and to tell other people about it. That's how I've been able to have the next stepping stones show up for me in writing my one-woman show, Chasing, because I've told people. I've been very clear about it, and people have filled in missing info or shared insights with me. Inside She's Goaled™ Coaching Mastermind, when you have clarity, this is what you get:
2. A Realistic Plan Once you have clarity, you can come up with a realistic plan. You may know exactly what you want, but your plan might not fit your actual life. We often create plans for the fantasy version of our lives.
That's not usually the life we're living. When I was running a business and managing a family life with two kids under three, I remember talking to my coach about how others were getting ahead of me. I was looking at social media and feeling envious, jealous, less than. My coach asked,
Then she asked me how many hours I could actually work and have focus. I said maybe five hours a day. She walked me through it and said: "Maybe you have four hours a day of uninterrupted time." Then she pointed out, "Diane, you can't build an empire on 20 hours a week." No amount of motivation was going to change that fact. But the right plan can. I always have to look at what season I'm actually in. It could be the season where I had COVID cough for eight months, my father passed away unexpectedly, my Facebook account was deactivated. AND it all happened within a year. Inside She's Goaled™ Coaching Mastermind, you’ll have:
3. Support and Accountability This may be the biggest missing piece for a lot of women. We're often willing to follow through when someone else is depending on us, when we’re committed to someone else’s agenda. But when we make a commitment only to ourselves, it becomes so much easier to miss, cancel, or never put it on the calendar in the first place. Ask yourself: Who would notice if you quietly stopped working towards your goal? If the answer is nobody, that may be why it keeps slipping. I remember tracking my food knowing my health coach was going to look at it. I'll tell you, I didn't let that slip because she was checking in with me every day. A lot of my clients do their homework the night before a coaching call. I've watched women make more progress simply because they knew someone was going to ask, "How did that go?" I've experienced this myself through coaches, masterminds, and people who remind me of what I said I wanted. When I tell people about my one-woman show Chasing, every time I see them, they ask, "Now where are you at? What's happening?"  Support doesn't mean you're incapable of doing it. Support is there to help you get it done. It means the goals matter enough so you can stop relying on willpower and tap into the connection of someone else. This happens inside the She's Goaled™ Coaching Mastermind because you get my coaching support and the mastermind support of the rest of the group.
The key thing is that different problems need different solutions. You get that customized approach in a group environment. Because more motivation won't create clarity. More motivation won't fix an unrealistic plan, and more motivation won't replace meaningful support. You can ditch needing to feel like you need more motivation. What I found is that women don't need more motivation. They just need these three things, and it's what the She's Goaled™ Coaching Mastermind is designed to provide. Motivation may help in the beginning, but support will keep you going through the hard times. It'll also give you a boost when you do well. The combination of these three is not just about keeping you motivated every day. It's about helping to continue moving forward, even on the days when motivation disappears. If you want all three of these things- clarity, a realistic plan, and accountability and support- doors are now open to my She's Goaled™ Coaching Mastermind program, starting in September 2026. Remember, you don't have a motivation problem. You have a clarity plan or support problem. Each one of us needs a different solution. I'd love to have you in the She's Goaled™ Coaching Mastermind so we can do that together. Apply now! Until next time, stay dynamic!
There's something exciting about finding the name that finally fits. When I first started writing my one-woman show, it was called Chasing Enough. It made sense at the time. So much of what high-achieving women experience comes down to that persistent, uncomfortable feeling that no matter what they accomplish, it's never quite enough. It’s what I hear from clients in my coaching calls and programs, from audiences when I speak and also in my own life.  But the more I wrote, and after doing my read-through, the more I realized: the story was bigger than "enough." What Is My Show Chasing About? Chasing is a one-woman show that I am writing, producing, and performing myself. It explores what happens when a high-achieving woman spends her life running after the things she's been told will make her feel complete. The show asks one central question: What happens when enough is never enough? Through the character of Barbara Overwork, a relatable, funny, and painfully recognizable overachiever, Chasing takes audiences on a journey through the things so many women spend their lives pursuing:
And the question the show ultimately leaves with every audience member: What am I chasing? Why I Changed the Name from Chasing Enough to Chasing
It was about the entire pattern. The relentless pursuit. The next goal, the next achievement, the next version of yourself that will finally feel like enough. It feels simpler. Stronger. More intriguing. It leaves room for every audience member to ask themselves: What am I chasing? And is it worth it? That question resonates across generations of women. Whether you're a corporate professional climbing the ladder, an entrepreneur building a business, a mother trying to do it all, or a woman somewhere in the middle of a life that looks successful on paper but feels quietly unsatisfying. Chasing holds up a mirror. The Journey of Creating Chasing I have no formal theatre background, so it’s like learning from a fire hose. Yes, I am a professional speaker, trainer, emcee, run my own programs, have one stand-up and have been a teacher. And at the same time I am, by my own admission, feeling a bit unqualified to be writing, producing, and starring in a one-woman show. And I'm doing it anyway. The creative journey behind Chasing has been as much a part of the show's story as the script itself:
Every script revision, every reading, every breakthrough reminds me that creating something meaningful takes time. And I'm loving the process. Why This Show Matters for High-Achieving Women The themes at the heart of Chasing aren't just theatre. They're the lived experience of millions of women.
We build the life we were told to want, and then quietly wonder why it doesn't feel like we thought it would. Chasing doesn't just name that experience. It holds space for it, adds humour to it, and ultimately invites every woman in the audience to consider a different way of living. Here's to chasing less and living more. What's Next for Chasing
If you want to follow along on the journey, get invited to upcoming previews, or explore partnership and collaboration opportunities, sign up for updates at the Chasing landing page or reach out to me directly at [email protected]. And if you'd like to bring Chasing to your city, your organization, your conference, or your community of women, I would love to hear from you. Because the question What am I chasing? deserves to be asked out loud.
How many times have you said, "I'll start that in January," or "I'll wait until I finish something else," or "I'll get to it when I have more time"? If you've ever said something like that, what you're really saying is someday. You're pushing it to a date in the future, but not a specific date. Someday isn't a date.  1. You Can Be Busy Without Moving Forward Most of the women I work with aren't sitting around doing nothing. They're doing so many things: working, taking care of people around them, supporting their clients, managing teams, managing their house, putting out fires. All the responsibilities. Whether you're in a business, a career, or even a stay-at-home mom, there's a lot on the go. But being busy doesn't equal being productive. You've heard of the hamster wheel. You're running fast, working hard. At the end of the day, you feel tired, but you haven't necessarily moved yourself forward. You feel like you're in the same place, and every day is the same. Your biggest goals or your personal passion goals keep getting pushed until tomorrow. Or even worse, you don't even know what your personal goals are. Let me ask you: Are you actually moving forward with the things that matter most to you, or are you moving forward with things that are important to other people? 2. Stop Waiting for the Perfect Time I have been guilty of this. Many of my clients have been guilty of this. Maybe you too. You're waiting for January, or for all the stars to align, or after a vacation, when the kids go back to school, or when business calms down. But then you realize: life never really calms down. Business never really calms down. If you want these things to happen, you just have to choose the time to do them. With my one-woman show read-through, I kept wavering on the date: "Oh, I'm going to do it this time or maybe this date." Then I had to check with the theatre. Then maybe the night after school ends wasn't a great time. It's funny because my connection at the theatre said, "You know, Diane, anytime you pick is going to be a bad time for some people." And I was like, "Wow, you're so right." I just had to pick it. Waiting for the perfect time is just procrastination designed as good planning. We might be waiting because it protects us from:
Here's your question: What are you waiting for before you give yourself permission to start? Is it a good excuse, or do you feel like it's a good reason? Sometimes it is a good reason: "I've got this big project, so when that finishes I'll start." But have you given yourself a specific date? Have you put it in your calendar? 3. Your Goals Are Getting the Leftovers Your goals are just getting the leftovers of your time, your energy, your resources, your priorities. They're really low on your list. We often follow through more easily when someone else is depending on us:
Your most important goals can't live in leftover spaces, because there usually aren't any. We find a reason to fill them. Something comes up. Someone asks for something.  If you think of the jar story, if you put all the sand and little pebbles in first, and then try to add the big rocks, there's going to be no room for them. You have to put the big rocks in first. You have to intentionally create space, time, energy, and resources towards what matters most. I sat on my book for probably a year. It wasn't until I pre-sold 350 copies to a women's convention, where I was scheduled as the opening and closing keynote speaker, that it actually had to happen. I also put off doing my podcast until my friend Michelle really pushed me: "Come on, we need to make this happen." These were important to me in my business growth and in my personal growth. I kept putting them off because there was always something that felt more urgent. Can you relate to that? 4. You Don't Need More Discipline When we don't follow through on something, we often blame ourselves. You might start asking yourself, "Why am I procrastinating? Why can't I be more disciplined? Why can't I just get this done?" First of all, in coaching, "why" is the worst question. Instead, ask yourself:
What's missing might be:
5. Don't Add Another Five Goals When you ask yourself really deeply what you want, and you get clear on that answer, it isn't adding five new goals to your plate. It's just maybe the one thing you've been putting off.  Ask yourself:
Then get clarity around: Is it procrastination? Is it perfectionism? Do I not have clarity in the first place? Do I have too many priorities? Do I lack support? Turn that someday into a decision. Someday on one goal that you've been putting off:
Just saying "I need to work on my goal" isn't a plan. A specific action scheduled at a specific time is. Your Goals Deserve More Than Your Leftover Time You don't have to wait till January. January is already busy. We're coming off Christmas. There's too much going on already. You don't have to wait until life calms down. You can have it naturally layer in. And you don't have to figure it all out alone. Someday isn't a date. This week is. Maybe even September. If you want clarity around what you want, a clear plan for moving forward, coaching support, mastermind support from other women, and accountability to follow through, I'm opening applications soon for my She's Goaled Group Coaching Mastermind Program, starting in September. Get on the waitlist today. Listen to the full Dynamic Women podcast episode here. Or watch the full YouTube Video here. Until next time, stay dynamic!
At the Dynamic Women Podcast's seventh anniversary celebration, listener and coaching client Jill Kelly asked me: How do you organize your podcast among everything else you have going on? Do you record multiple episodes in one day? How far in advance do you book guests? And how do you find your podcast guests? It's a great behind-the-scenes question, because when you turn on the podcast and listen, it all looks smooth and put together. But there's a lot more to it than that.  Before I dive in, I want to mention that Jill and I were recently interviewed together for the Can Care Podcast, an organization that connects current cancer patients with survivors for mentorship and connection. The podcast is called Hope in the Face of Cancer, and Jill so graciously shared her story and her journey with her husband through cancer. I am so proud of you, Jill. It is not easy to be interviewed on a podcast, especially about such a personal experience. Now, onto the questions. How Many Episodes Do I Record in a Day? In an ideal world, I would probably record four to eight episodes in a day, covering the next month or two. That would make some of my team members very happy. But the reality is, I usually record one per week. Here's why: the topic is related to whatever I'm offering at that time. Why would I talk about time management and then pitch a confidence program? It makes no sense. If we're going to attract people based on a current offering, we want the content to be relevant. Otherwise it feels disconnected. I don't always have my marketing calendar locked in because other things come up, so recording one a week gives me the flexibility.  Solo episodes are so much easier to batch. I'll plan the next four topics, show up and record one, stop the recording, go change my shirt and earrings (guys just wear the same thing and say we can too, but we can't. It doesn't work that way), come back, and record another. I can knock out a few solo episodes in one sitting. Guest episodes are more work. My team does all the back-and-forth coordination, and then I have to prepare, reading their guest sheet and then show up and interview them rather than just talking myself. Guest episodes are also longer, up to 30 minutes, where I try to keep solo episodes to 15 minutes. The latest I can record an episode is Monday afternoon, because it has to be edited Monday night to go out Tuesday morning. Do I Stay Ahead? I'd love to be a few weeks to a few months ahead, but that doesn't always allow for real-time experiences I want to talk about. If I coach someone and something comes up I want to discuss, I want that flexibility. It also doesn't allow for timely topics. Sometimes we push episodes back. When I interview guests whose book, program or show is coming out in a few weeks, I'll push my own episode to fit theirs in. If I want to put something of mine in, I'll push other people's out. The main thing is being consistent and ideally always having a show prerecorded because things happen. I've had to record episodes when I had food poisoning, when I almost lost my voice, and when my father was dying. If I didn’t have them ready to go, my team has gone back through old Facebook Lives, pieced something together, and published it. If you have batched episodes in reserve, it's such a relief to use them in a pinch. Pre-travel and pre-busy seasons, I always batch weeks in advance. The goal is to stay ahead, even if the reality is often just recording one episode per week. How Far in Advance Do I Schedule Episodes? You can only schedule them if you record them. A lot of times they are scheduled the night before they're supposed to go out because my team works in my evenings and then the episodes go out in the morning. I have heard of some podcasters record a whole season at once, so maybe 3 months at one time. This would be great, but since I like to leave room for timely topics, rather than be scheduled that's the trade-off I choose. How Do I Find Podcast Guests? In the beginning, it was a lot of my clients and guests who were on my summits, those interviews went on to the podcast. Then it was women I met where I‘d say, "You have a cool story, I want to interview you." Then it evolved. Because of how long I've been running this podcast, we're in the top 2.5% of all podcasts, five awards, and almost 380 episodes, I get pitched to a lot. I say "pitched" because most people don't come in to serve. They come in to take. The Napkin vs. The Bib One of my coaches, James Malinchak, taught me this: come in with a napkin on your arm (like a server at a nice restaurant) and say, "How can I serve you?" What serving looks like:
What I actually hear most of the time:
You'd be happy? You're pitching me. The truth is, and this might sound conceited, but I don't need guests. I have my own solo episodes. They're shorter, faster, and easier. If I bring on a guest, now I have to figure out the rest of my content for the week, a YouTube video, social posts. It's all centered on the guest, not me. If you're going to try to be a guest on somebody's podcast, come with the napkin on. Don't have the bib on. How I Approach It Differently When I was at the Web Summit, I was brought in as media because of the podcast. They wanted me to interview CEOs of major tech companies and government ministers. But I went down to the convention floor, read people's name badges and business signs, started conversations, and said: "I have this podcast. If you'd like, I'd love to give you some air time."  Their responses were things like: "Me? You want to interview me? Oh yes! Wow, it's so nice meeting you! What should I do?" I love that energy. It's very different from "I’m awesome. Your people would love what I offer." I also recently chatted with a woman who had sold her business for an amount I only found out after Googling and I'm glad I didn't Google it before, because I probably wouldn't have had the confidence to approach her. She doesn't need me to promote her business. So I said: "I hear you have this mission and this passion around this topic. I'd love to give a voice to that." That's the approach: Can I give your mission a platform? Would that be helpful to you? Sometimes they take me up on it. Sometimes they don't. And that's fine. Other Ways I Find Guests
But so many of them come back and say, "We don't pay for PR," and I'm like, "Who pays my team to do all the work?" They want it for free, and that's fine, but that's also not how it works. Why the Unknown Voices Matter Most Sometimes the greatest episodes are the people who are not widely known, because now their voice has a platform. Just like with Jill's story: she has a voice out there now. That's how I want to use my platform, my YouTube, my podcast, my books, to give a voice, to amplify the voices of women who don't always get their story told. This is the final post in our four-part series featuring burning questions from our seventh anniversary celebration guests. If you missed the previous three, check out Jennifer Kanyumwa’s question on what I love most about podcasting, Paula Kent's question on how to monetize your expertise when you're just starting out, and Ashley Komary’s question on the top five most impactful actions for building a speaking and coaching business. Until next time, stay dynamic!
What if the thing keeping you stuck isn't a lack of talent, but the belief that you have to be ready before anyone sees your work?  After doing a read-through of my one-woman show, Chasing Enough, people kept telling me I was courageous for inviting an audience to see the play before it was finished. The truth is, I wasn't trying to be courageous. I was just trying to make it better. What I realized after reflecting on it was that the biggest lessons had nothing to do with theatre, they can be applied to all areas of life. Why We Wait We all wait. We wait to launch, we wait to speak, we wait to write, we wait to lead, we wait to ask, we wait to publish books and podcasts. But courage isn't the absence of fear. It's creating anyway. Why do we wait then? We tell ourselves:
Then we don't do it. What if perfection is actually preventing your progress? The read-through forced me to test that belief. If I bring it perfect, I'm married to what I've said. I don't want to change it, and I've gone so far down the "this is how it is" line that I'm maybe not as open to making changes. Bringing it imperfect kept me open. The Five Lessons Lesson 1: You Can't Improve When Nobody Experiences What You're Putting Together This was one of the biggest realizations. In theatre, it's already built in. There are read-throughs and workshops where you bring the content and get feedback. The script looked good on paper, but until people experienced it, I didn't know:
This can apply to your business, books, workshops, podcasts, and even relationships. One example is the cover of my Dynamic You book. I had two cover options and showed them to a group of people I trusted. The one I liked best got feedback I never would have seen on my own. They said, "You look confident, but not approachable. You look like someone I'd be intimidated to talk to, not someone I'd want to learn from." That feedback completely changed my decision. So I picked the more relaxed cover with my hands in my pockets and a genuine smile. I wouldn't have made that choice if I'd waited until I thought it was perfect. Showing people the work before it was finished made it better. If you're trying to keep things isolated and secret and do it all yourself, it's not going to improve as much as if you have the intended audience see it before you launch. Lesson 2: People Want You to Succeed Before an event, or before you publish something, or before you let it out, you might worry that people are going to say, "This isn’t funny,” It’s too long," "This is boring,” “Why did she invite us?” and even “This is terrible." But instead, people were so supportive, encouraging, and invested in my success. People were offering great help. In your true network, people aren't waiting for you to fail. They're hoping that you'll succeed, and they want to be there to cheer you on. We are often harsher critics in our own heads than exist in reality. I'm not talking about keyboard warriors who don't know you; when you invite your trusted people, they're not going to criticize you. They're going to support you. Lesson 3: Feedback Isn't Failure If I just took the script, rehearsed it, and then presented it without feedback, the show could fail. But feedback, especially if it's constructive, or even if it points out things they didn't like, that's just feedback. Every note I received in the survey, every comment after the read-through, it wasn't proof that I'd failed. Because I wasn't going there expecting it to be perfect. It was just proof of the next step.  Feedback isn't a report card. It's just information. I knew I wouldn't get 100%. That's the point. I had to separate myself from my work, and that makes me a better creator. Instead of thinking "they didn't like me because they didn't like the play," we have to think: "Ah, this piece needs work. This scene can be edited. This piece of my book needs a rewrite. This cover can be redesigned." That's all it's telling us. Lesson 4: The Things We Obsess Over Usually Aren't What Others Notice I worried about Whether this scene would work: Will me falling on the floor when I acted this piece work? Really, no one mentioned a lot of it. Instead, they pointed out a lot of things I wasn't even concerned about at the beginning and hadn't even considered.  I was telling people that the main character feels pushed by society to be more, do more, have more. But what I actually showed was more so the pressure of people growing up: parents, teachers, coaches, and her own saboteurs in her mind. I totally forgot to show more of society's role, and they were like, "Oh, it'd be nice to see how else society does this for her now as an adult." I was like, "Duh. That was one of the biggest things I wanted to show." But it's that Les Brown quote: "You can't see the picture when you're in the frame." You can't see it, when you’re in it. Something could be right in front of you, and you're going to miss it. We are often terrible judges of our own work. A lot of the stuff I thought, "I'm not sure they'll like it," they actually liked, and some parts I chose to keep that I really should have cut. I only realized that by reading it out loud. Lesson 5: Progress Happens in Public I'm not saying everything has to be shown to people, but the people you show it to have to be trusted, know your intention, and be there to be supportive and constructive. But this is where this becomes bigger than the play. Progress happens in public.
For you, be thinking about this: if I put this in the public eye, could I move forward faster? That's why I don't create a program that I haven't sold first. I put it out to the public, sell it, then create it, because that's proof of concept. Everything I've built in the beginning was imperfect. It wasn't the greatest. But I didn't know unless I did it. I didn't become ready first. I became ready because I kept showing up. Imperfect progress created not perfection, but created me actually doing the things I'd put off. I know I've sat on things and put them off and put them off, and then I needed someone else to help me get them going. Your Challenge After these five lessons, what have you been sitting on?
Maybe it is a book, a business, a conversation with someone, a course, a dream, or even just a piece of art. What would happen if you let someone see it, hear it, give you feedback on it? The key thing to remember is: you don't become ready and then share your work. You become ready because you shared your work. I still have a lot to do on Chasing Enough. The script is nowhere near finished, especially after all this amazing feedback. But it's going to be infinitely better moving forward because people have experienced it, and I have experienced people experiencing it. Maybe the thing you're waiting to be perfect doesn't need another month hanging out in your head. Maybe it just needs one courageous moment in the real world. I challenge you to let it out. If you want to get updates, invites to the next read-through or workshop, or at least the September preview, sign up using this link to follow along on the Chasing Enough journey. Until next time, stay dynamic!
If you've been following me, you know that I am currently writing a one-woman show. Last week, I did the read-through of it, and today I'm sharing what happened the first time my play, Chasing Enough, met an audience.  This is something that kind of terrified me. My piece is not yet finished; it's not polished. The funny thing is that the character in it, Barbara Overwork, is an overachiever. Being that people are seeing this without it being perfect, finished, or fully developed is a bit of a risk, a bit of a gamble, and very, very vulnerable. I'm going to share why I chose to do it early, what surprised me, and some of the lessons I learned. What Is a Read-Through? A read-through is when you take your script and literally read it aloud. There's no lighting or sound or anything. I was supported by Louisa Fung, who is also in the Creative Hub with me at Presentation House Theatre. She read what act we were in, what scene we were in, any description of the scene, and talked about the things that aren't seen because I'm not acting it. I decided to take an even bigger risk and act out parts of it, just because I felt like those parts would be more fun for my audience to see. At the end of a read-through, you do a feedback session with those in attendance, asking them questions like:
For me, I wanted to know: is it landing where I need it to land? A lot of people actually don't do this stage until maybe a year in, or even further on. I didn’t know this until two days before my read-through. The fact that I'm doing it now was brave, but I wanted to do it. Why I Chose to Do It Early I really just wanted to hear the script out loud. It's just me in this show, as it's a one-woman show. It might change later on once I start working with my director, but as I was talking to Louisa about it, she said, "You have so many characters. Because you're not acting, it's might be confusing for the audience, and it's going to be tiring for you." She had a good point. I read all the characters that came from Barbara, while Louisa read all the characters who were not Barbara Overwork. Barbara has three saboteurs and one supportive character, all internal characters who come out and are personified. While theatre is meant to be experienced, not just read, and yes, I'm going to be acting it later, and I'm going to have a director helping me, to be able to read it at this point gave me so much great feedback from the audience. Who I Invited I did not want to make this a public thing. I just wanted friends and connections in my network who I felt would be supportive. I put it out to a few different communities I'm a part of:
I had a nice assortment of people there. Some from North Vancouver, BC, some from further away. They came for this two-hour event. It was so nice to know they were cheering me on and wanted me to succeed. But rather than just handing them the play to read, I wanted them to experience the intended emotion and then get their feedback. I needed honest feedback before moving forward because I had so many scenes—about 105 pages—that I needed to cut down to about 75. I needed feedback on: did I cut the right things? Are things now confusing because I cut parts? For a one-person show that you want to do from start to finish without any intermission, you really do need it to be tight. 60 to 75 minutes, no more than 90. Because people can't really hold their pee for that long! They can leave and come back, but I don't want that either. Plus, it's me. Do I really want to do 90 minutes by myself without anyone else? That's a lot of work. When I read it with Louisa, it was probably about an hour, but I didn't let anything breathe. It was really quick, literally just reading rather than performing. When I do perform it, there will be space to breathe, more emotive language, and more acting that has no words. I'm guessing we're pushing more toward 90 minutes when fully performed. That honest feedback of "Am I hitting the mark? Is the message I'm intending what they're feeling?"—and also creating in public is uncomfortable, but incredibly valuable, especially if you have people that care about you and want you to succeed. They gave me some really great feedback. It wasn't all just fluff and "you're amazing." They gave me some really honest feedback for the development of the script. What Surprised Me Some things were more powerful than I even intended and caused shifts, not just in who they are as a person, but they were starting to see it as who they are as a mother, or who they are as someone at a job, or who they are as a friend. They started to see, in different areas of life, how this show could impact them. It's also interesting to see where people laughed and where people didn't laugh. Thankfully, I had the whole thing recorded. There were also emotional moments. Some people said afterwards that there were moments where they almost wanted to cry because it was so sad. Other moments when they felt anxious due to the intensity of the scene. What I realized is I came out with a big bang at the start, which I might actually soften so that people start to like the character before they see her in full show mode. Also surprising was that the ending didn't land emotionally where I wanted it to. People were kind of wanting more of a change. These are the things that I now get to go and develop. Some things didn't work as well as I had hoped:
I need to cut before I can add, if I want this to work out as my intended ending and impact. It's funny because when I do keynotes, I just do my keynote. I practice it, but I don't have read-throughs. I just do it. But my amazing CAPS community, if you do a talk in front of them, they will give you constructive feedback. They will be honest with you, not just whitewash or boost your ego. To know where my ideal audience felt it hit the mark and where it didn't is massive. The Biggest Lessons Audiences Are Smarter Than We Think In theatre, we need to show them, not tell them. A lot of the stuff I was doing was more TED talky, more workshop sounding. Me telling them what I feel, telling them what they should feel, and the reasons behind it.  Less Explanation, More Experience I attempted to do a lot of stripping back to “show and not tell,” but by stripping it back so much, there wasn't enough explanation, which left them confused in some parts. There needs to be a really nice balance of explanation and experience so that it's really clear to your audience. Granted, other than a few scenes, I'm not acting it; there are no props, no music, no movement, though there was a little bit of voice-changing because, even in a read-through, I wanted to emote a little. Sometimes the Scenes You Love Aren't the Ones People Connect With And that's okay. The tweaks people are saying, "I wanted more of this" or "this felt off." It’s great to know it now, because now I can adapt it. The plan: get it done, do a read-through by the end of June, use the summer to tweak the script, maybe do one more read-through. Then, in September, do rehearsals with a director, and a private preview where I'm now acting in it, with sound, lighting, props, set, and costumes. Again, the audience can give feedback after, so we do some more tweaking before the big grand opening of the show. The Script Became So Much Clearer The last lesson is that the script became so much clearer because people experienced it. While I'm now learning that I really should have filmed from the front to see their faces:
These are the things that are going to help me really to lock in this play.  I'm just extremely grateful. It was such a blessing to have 22 people who care about me come out to support me and give feedback. The show is already elevated, already being fine-tuned. Even the night before I did it, I changed one scene to make it more interactive with the audience, and I heard they liked that interaction and found it very profound. That's part of how the show has become better, because the creative juices of doing it and coming up with last-minute ideas and now new ideas for the next one. It's amazing to have finally read Chasing Enough to an audience. Even though it was a private audience, it still was in public. It felt extremely vulnerable. Some parts felt risky. But because I had my friends there, I knew they wanted me to succeed. What's Next In the next blog, I'm going to talk more about what I learned by letting people see my work before it was ready. If you have perfectionism, that will be a really great blog for you. If you would like to be at another read-through or get an invite to the private preview, sign up on the Chasing Enough landing page to get updates and special invites. Looking at the bigger picture: some workshops and previews for private audiences in September and October (depending on when we've locked it in), and then looking at 2027 to take it on tour across Canada. Stay tuned; maybe I'll be coming to a city near you. If you would like to be a local ambassador connected to the show, or to sponsor, support, partner, or collaborate with me in some way, please reach out: [email protected]. While I can't lock anything in now, it's just good to know who is where and in what city so that you would be the first one I reach out to. Until next time, stay dynamic!
As a recovering perfectionist and former competitive athlete, it feels so weird to say that winning isn't everything. But if you've ever wanted something so badly that the outcome became the only thing that mattered, keep reading.  In this blog, I'm covering the difference between results-based goals and process-based goals, and why shifting your focus might change everything. My Son's Sports Season My son had a great couple of weeks, winning the championship for his baseball league and the championship game for his flag football team. Then he was playing with his all-star baseball team. They were losing, they came back, but didn’t win the game in the end. During the game, they were all down, and that was the main conversation with the coaches afterward: you can't get down on yourself; you gotta pick your head up and keep going. On the way home, I asked him, "Did you have fun?" He said, "Not really." I realized then that much of his fun was tied to winning. It really opened up an important conversation between us and was a really good opportunity for a lesson. Yes, winning is fun. Winning feels good. Winning sometimes gets you rewards, trophies, and such. But winning is not everything. I said to him, “Sports are also about fun, friendship, fitness, and developing your skills”. The thing I really want him to know is that there is joy in just the doing. Joy is not only reserved for when you win. My Emerging Artist Showcase This also makes me think about my recent emerging artist showcase for my one-woman show. It was a 10-minute showcase to industry experts and leaders. Some of the other people told me (because I have zero theatre background) that usually there is a cash prize at the end, either everyone votes and there's a winner, or there's the reward of getting booked. I was like, "Oh, I don't want the pressure of any of those, because those are results-based goals." I was very happy that there was actually an honorarium for everyone involved, everyone who pitched, so there wasn't one big prize. Everyone got a little bit, and it took the pressure off. It shifted it from a results-based goal (landing my show in a theatre or a residency or winning the prize) to a process-based goal. It allowed me to focus on:
Having a process-based goal took the pressure off. Results-Based Goals vs. Process-Based Goals Results-Based Goals These are focused on the outcome:
These goals can be super motivating because they're clear, focused, and they push you. But you're not always fully in control of these situations. Other people, others' timing, circumstances, competition, and luck can all affect the outcome. In my theatre example, who is in the room also makes a difference. I can't control that. In sports, you can't control the refs or the umps. Results-based goals can put a lot of pressure on you, and sadly, there's only one winner. What I saw on that day with my son losing that game was that he felt unhappy that he didn't win, because he didn't get the result he wanted, and he didn't have a good time. He couldn't enjoy it. That was just really sad. Process-Based Goals These focus on how you show up and the pieces leading up to the result. These are the things that are in your control.  Rather than "I have to win this game," maybe it's:
Other things you can control:
After the game, it was really cool to see the big team meeting where they were told you can't let a few runs cause you to put your head down and get down on yourself. You have to stay positive. You can still come back. You can still win. I heard the coach say to one of the kids, "Hey, it was really great how positive you were out there. That was being a good leader. Nice job. Keep it up." I love that the player was acknowledged for their attitude. Sometimes just staying committed to something, even when it's hard. With my emerging artist showcase, I could have thought along the way, "This is too hard. I can't do this. I'm not as good as everyone who's gone to theatre school or has already done lots of shows." I could have given up. But I stayed committed, even though it felt hard, even through late nights, even while still running a business, trying to keep my house clean and feed my kids. These are the things that are going to help you grow, regardless of whether you win or lose. Applying This to Business We can become obsessed with results-based goals in business:
But when we look at process-based goals, we can control them. We can enjoy the process and can win at that. Instead of "How many people registered," it's: "I'm going to put in this strategy, get it done by these dates, and then review it, monitor it, and do our best." Instead of "Did the launch work, did we fill the program?" it's: "Did I even just make the invitation? Did I improve my copywriting skills in my email funnel? Did I improve the offer when it wasn't selling as well?" Instead of "Did they say yes," it's: "Did I put in the right sales strategy on this call? Did I follow up afterwards? Did I educate them? Did I learn something? Did I stay consistent?" Other Areas of Life Health: Instead of "I'm going to lose 20 pounds," it's "I'm going to eat better according to this way of eating, drink water, and go to the gym three times a week." Then hopefully you get that results-based goal. You can actually have both going at the same time. Love life: If you want the result to be finding the man of your dreams and marrying them, that's a big goal. What if the process was just "I'm going to put myself out there, tell people I'm looking for someone, and go on some dates"? That's a process-based goal you can control. The Bigger Message Yes, results matter. We know they do. They are the SMART goals, the quantifiers. However, process goals can also be quantified. They can also be things we follow and measure. But results-based goals can't be the only measure of success.  Otherwise, my son would think that every time the team loses, there's no success in that, no joy in that. Also, he hit a good hit, but they caught it. The other team catching the ball and making him out doesn't change the fact that he made a good hit. However, he felt that way. If we're only allowed to feel success when we're winning, we miss out on so many things along the way that we can be proud of, celebrate, see grow us, and learn from and apply to something else. Process goals allow you to celebrate your progress along the way. The importance is that it helps you stay motivated, because you can win every day. In a sports season, you might be playing for two months, then you have the playoffs. You could be training for four years for the Olympics. If you're only motivated by the gold medal or the trophy at the end or the big paycheck, you're really missing out. You can build your confidence during the process because you're able to really manage and focus on what you can control. Questions to Ask Yourself Where are you only measuring the result, and what process goals could you focus on instead? It might be more motivating to say "I'm going to make an offer every day" or "I'm going to hire someone to help me with my next launch" rather than "I want to make an extra $10,000 a month." The last question I'm going to leave you with: What would make you proud even if the result doesn't go your way? Even if you don't win, what would still make you proud? That's a powerful question. Yes, winning is wonderful. Yes, I love winning. Yes, I'm super competitive and always want to get that result. But it's not the only thing that matters. The real win might be who you become in the process of achieving the result. So this week, this month, choose one process goal you can control and celebrate that. If you get the result, then that's just icing on the cake. Until next time, stay dynamic!
At the Dynamic Women Podcast's seventh anniversary celebration, listener Ashli Komaryk asked me: For women building a speaking and coaching business, what are the top five most impactful actions you would recommend taking? And can you help differentiate between what's noise, what's nice to have later, and what's most urgent and impactful right now?  It's a great question because we are inundated by "Oh, you need to do this, you can't do anything if you don't have an updated website, you need to have a newsletter, you need to have all of these things." Let's cut through that noise. First, Ask Yourself These Two Questions Before anything else: What are my goals, and how am I making my money? So often people will say, "Maybe it's the podcast, and a book, and all these other things," but what is your actual plan to bring in money? If it's "I want to do keynotes, I want to coach corporate clients, and maybe one day training for professionals," okay, we've got these three offerings. Then ask yourself: Which is the first offering that will open the door to the other two? Continuously in business, ask yourself: looking at all my offerings, what is the one that will open the door to the other ones? We don't want you trying to offer everything all the time from the beginning. The 5 Most Impactful Actions 1. Get Clear on Your Offer and Your Fastest Path to Cash What are you offering? If money is the biggest push right now, what's fastest to cash? Corporate training is potentially not fastest to cash if you don't already have a corporate network. A lot of speaking engagements are booked six months to a year out. That's also not fastest to cash. But if speaking to groups is where you want to be, with coaching as a back-end offer, that's a strong starting point. This is how I started. I looked for any organization or women's group that I could speak to and make an offer, or at least build my network, and then have a funnel that creates my invitation to them.  What is the offer? What's the fastest route to it? Lock in that plan. 2. Find Your Groups and Start Applying to Speak If the plan is to speak to women's organizations and networking events and then make an offer at the end, then figure out: How do I reach them? In my case, I would make a list of all the groups, figure out how to apply to each one, and start the process. If you have an assistant, get them to find all the groups and figure out how to apply. If it's just you, that's what you do. That's what I did in the beginning. If you have an assistant or Virtual Assistant then you pass off this task. That is what I do now. Start with the ones you want least as practice to see what works, so you don't mess it up for the ones you really want. 3. Choose a Topic That Positions Your Offer All you need to know in order to apply to speak is your topic. But your topic should position your offering. Here's the key: what you teach shouldn't teach the problem and the full solution and then be done. You are teaching "you have this problem," and you can teach the solution to what you said you would teach, but then by the end you need to share a new problem that your next offering will solve.  Here's an example I'll piece together as I go: You say "the way to have more energy in your life is to stop eating plants with pesticides on them." You say "go buy organic," and people are like, "Okay, that's the solution." But you could say, "But what's even better is to grow your own." Now they're like, "But how do I grow my own in a really easy way that's cheap, especially if I have a patio?" And now you're like, "Because I have this hydroponic system..." We want to pull them in with a top-of-mind problem. They'll say, "Oh, I want to go hear that topic because I want to know the solution to that," but then that creates its own set of problems, which your next offering solves. I ran a talk called "Three Massive Mistakes Professional Women Make That Keep Them Overworked, Overwhelmed, and Pulled in a Million Directions". I told them the mistakes. I told them the solutions to the mistakes. But the easiest solution to all three was actually my Dynamic Balance program. Speaking is how I really built a lot of my network and my business. 4. Take Stock and Build Simply Once you've spoken to groups and have grown your list, ask yourself: "What do I do? And what is noise?" What is Noise: Any task you don’t need to do yourself.
Get someone else to do these things. I get what you're thinking, "Yeah, but what if I don't have the money for that." But if delegating those tasks gives you the time and faster ability to get out there to speak to more groups, put your offer together and serve clients, that's what you need to do. 5. Go Where Your Ideal Clients Are If you don't have your own network, your own platform, your own stages yet, go where your ideal clients are. At least start with where your current ideal clients are, and then from there you can start to niche down. It's about:
That's the foundation everything else is built on. The Bottom Line Cut the noise. Get clear on your offer, find your groups, craft a topic that positions your offering, speak consistently, and go where your people already are. You don't need a perfect website or a fancy funnel. You need to be in the room. This is the third post in our series featuring burning questions from our seventh anniversary celebration guests. If you missed the previous two, check out Jennifer Kanyumwa’s question on what I love most about podcasting and advice for starting one, and Paula Kent's question on how to monetize your expertise when you're just starting out. Listen to the full Dynamic Women podcast episode here. Or watch the full YouTube Video here. Until next time, stay dynamic!
If you want to get ahead in your business, it's time to stop being the technician and step into the manager and visionary roles. Today, I'm referencing one of the most important first business books I've ever read: The E-Myth Revisited (get the revised version; it's the more up-to-date one).  This book explained something to me that so many business owners experience but don't necessarily have the language for. I was a trained coach, and rather than being hired by a company, I decided to go out on my own. But the problem is when you go to a coaching school to learn coaching processes and modalities, you're not taught how to run a business. This is the case for so many business owners. You're not just one person in your business. You're so many roles. But when you come in as the technician, the doer of the work, you're not necessarily able to step into those multiple roles. You love to stay safe in that one place. The Three Key Roles The book goes through three key roles: 1. The Technician The doer of the work. Most of us start here. Maybe you're an accountant doing people's taxes, a cleaner, whatever it may be; you are the one doing this skill, this talent. You decide, "I don't want to work for someone else. I'm going to go on my own and make my own money rather than build someone else's business." But that also means you lose whatever team a company would have. You're not only doing the technician role (delivering the services), but now you're also doing all the other roles: answering emails, posting content, doing admin, solving problems, handling everything yourself. You're in execution mode all day long for the things you're paid for and the things you're not. You become the default person for everything, every role, every task. 2. The Manager The organizer of the work. This role creates structure with all of those tasks:
This role asks: How do we make this run better? How can we improve the technician's role? How do we make the organization run better? Many entrepreneurs skip this role entirely, which is why things can feel chaotic. You're just doing one-offs all over, and you don't know what the plan is. The manager role is really important, especially if you end up bringing other people onto your team as employees, contractors, and such. 3. The Visionary (CEO Role) The future of the work. They are the ones looking at:
 They're answering the question: Where are we going? If you get stuck in technician mode all day, you rarely have space to think like a visionary. Your head's down, you're doing the work, you can't come up and do that bird's-eye view above, looking down on everything. You can't see the future view of everything, and you can't do a 360 to see all the way around. Why Most Women Are Stuck in Technician Mode Most women over-function as technicians. We spend so much of our time in the “doing” roles because it feels super productive. You can see immediate results. You can check things off your list. Meanwhile, the manager and visionary roles are neglected. Think back to the past month. How much of your time in your calendar was allocated to the manager role? To your visionary role? If you don't do that, your business is going to feel heavy, maybe messy, and over-dependent on you. If you spend all your time doing the work, you won't have enough space to actually lead it, to see where the problems are, and to consider how things could be better. Where Support Becomes Transformational This is why support becomes really transformational, not just for you, but for the business. A Virtual Assistant can take over the technician roles that you never wanted to do in the first place:
They can also help create your systems and SOPs (standard operating procedures), which help strengthen the manager role as well.  This gives you more time, more space, more energy to actually operate as the visionary. Ideally, they're creating such a good ROI (return on investment) that they're actually paying for themselves. And that's when businesses get to start scaling. The real goal is not to stop being the technician because you're really good at it for a reason. The goal is to give up certain things, so you're not the only one doing everything. Where Are You Spending Most of Your Time? I'm guessing it's in the technician role. Some people spend too much time in the visionary role and never get anything done. I encourage you to:
Here are free resources to get started with your own virtual assistant: If you'd like me to hire that vetted dynamic virtual assistant for you, I would be happy to. I’ll share a lot of my systems, processes, and IP with you to make it easy for you to get started right away. Just reach out by booking a time on my calendar. One final question: Which role actually needs more of your attention right now? That's the one to focus on first. Until next time, stay dynamic!
At the Dynamic Women Podcast's seventh anniversary celebration, listener Paula Kent asked me: For women who are going in a new direction, a career direction or following a new passion, what is one high-impact action they can take to monetize their expertise in the initial stages of building their audience?  It's a great question, and one I see come up all the time in women transitioning from career to business, from one business to another, or even after a break from business. They're like, "Shoot, I need to monetize right now. How do I do this?" Or they're in that building stage, still researching, still developing, but they need to pay the bills because they also have subscriptions, tools, or a coach for the business. So how do you bring in the money? Here's what I tell my clients. Ask Yourself: What's Fastest to Cash? The first question I often ask my clients is: What's fastest to cash? It's not creating a podcast. It's not writing a book. Those are longer-game activities. If you need money now, you need to think simpler and more immediate. Go really, really basic: What's something that your friends, family, or network already come to you for that maybe seems really easy for you, but you could charge money for? For some women it might be:
What skills do you already have that people are already showing you there's a demand for? This is what I hear all the time: "But, that's nothing. It's so easy for me." Well, yeah, but it's not easy for other people. How can you now package it so other people can access it and pay you for it? Get Specific: One Problem, One Person Take it a step further. What's one specific problem that you can solve for one specific person? When you put that out to people, it's going to be much easier for them to either say yes themselves or say, "My friend needs you. My friend needs what you’re offering." You don't have to wait for a huge audience. You just have to look at who you already have in your network. My Story: 30 Sample Sessions in 30 Days When I started coaching, I was literally two days in, and I put out a challenge: 30 sample coaching sessions in 30 days. I put it out to my community. I said, "I'm doing this challenge, and if you want a sample session, please let me know. But only do it because you want to actually have coaching, not because you feel bad for me or you want me to complete my challenge." This was unpaid, but I had I talked about continuing with coaching at the end of each call. I ended up doing 32 sample sessions in 30 days and had about 15 clients sign up. That was not the purpose. The purpose was to get really good at sample sessions, but I was very happy with the result of clients. When I asked people what had them hire me, they said things like:
It was really interesting because it also gave me feedback on how I could market myself, since these were the things people said. Then I started having stories to share: "This client had xyz problem, and after coaching had xyz success." I just started with a few. Simple Ways to Start You're not necessarily going to do 30 sample sessions, but you still have to find the people and make an offer. Think about what you can start simply with:
 Don't underestimate what comes naturally to you. Think outside the box. Could you edit essays for high schoolers for $50 an essay? Could you offer writing support to people in your network? Whatever it is, please don't underestimate what comes naturally to you. That is fastest to cash, really. Already in Business but Need a Cash Infusion? If you're already in business and just need an infusion of cash, look at the people who were interested in your offers but didn't say yes. Ask yourself: what was stopping them?
 Can you circle back to them now and say, "I have this new offering," highlighting that it's more within their budget, takes less time, or delivers faster results? Maybe it's an immersive one-day offer. Always be thinking: What's the low-hanging fruit? What can I offer them right now? The Bottom Line Having clarity on who you can help, what problem you solve, and what result you create is more important than having a massive audience. Focus on that first, and the monetization will follow. Stay tuned for the next post in this series, where we feature another burning question from our anniversary celebration. You don't want to miss it. Can’t wait? Listen to the full Dynamic Women podcast episode here. Or watch the full YouTube Video here. Until next time, stay dynamic!
At the Dynamic Women® Podcast's seventh anniversary celebration, listener and past guest Jennifer Kanyumwa asked me: What has been your favourite part of hosting a podcast, and what advice would you give someone wanting to start one? It's a great double question, so here's my honest answer to both. What I Love Most About Hosting a Podcast The Conversations My absolute favourite part is having these amazing conversations with wonderful business owners and dynamic women. I get to meet some incredible women, and as I ask questions, I not only hear powerful stories and expertise but also uncover smaller, unexpected things.  For example, I have an upcoming episode with Sarah from Neon Collective. She shared how she had a diagnosis of autism and is still creating this amazing business. We sometimes have things that could hold us back: trauma, different situations in our lives, challenges we're up against, and the fact that the people I get to interview still come out ahead is amazing. Guests Become More Than Guests I find that guests often become friends, collaborators, clients, or community members. I like the idea that once we've connected, you don't just disappear. It's really nice when people come back. Knowing It Impacts Everyday Life Knowing the episodes impact people during their everyday life moments means a lot to me. Maybe you have this in your ear right now as you're walking, doing the dishes, taking care of your kids, or doing data entry in your business. Maybe you're using this as a tool, as part of your education, as a way to move your life and business forward. Creating Long-Term Impact I record these as videos, and people might listen during the week, but sometimes I have people reach out and say, "I remember this episode you had three years ago, and it changed my life." Each person listening is capturing their own golden nuggets, which is fabulous. The only sad thing is that I don't hear enough from my listeners. If you've been listening for a long time, or this is your first episode, I'd love it if you'd email me directly: [email protected] and let me know how the podcast has impacted you, and a little bit more about yourself. Advice for Anyone Starting a Podcast Know Your Why The key thing is to know why you're doing it. People come to me and say, "Oh, you've been doing it for seven years, you must be making a ton of money off of it." That's not the point for me.  For me, the podcast is part of my content. It's how I start creating content. It's my anchor video that then creates the YouTube, the podcast, the blog, all my social posts and content for the week. I don't want anyone else writing for me or creating videos with AI that aren't me. It's all me. That's why I do it. But your why will be different, and that's okay. Just know it before you start. Don't Wait Until You're Ready That's what my podcast mentor, Michelle Abraham of AmplifYou says: "If your first episodes are perfect, you waited way too long." Think about Marie Forleo. Her beginning videos look terrible compared to later on, but she was still her, and her content was still great. You don't need a professional studio or fancy editing. All you really need is a good microphone. I use the Blue Yeti and record on Zoom. Consistency Matters More Than Perfection Many people get going, do a whole bunch of episodes, and then it just dies off. If you think you can only do it consistently once or twice a month, do that. Some people do daily podcasts, not for me, I have too many other things on the go.  You will improve as you go. It won't be the best at first, but it'll get better. Tie Your Content to Your Mission Make sure the topics you put out are tied to your mission, message, business, or community. It's going to feel weird if you go off topic. I can remember following a woman because she was talking about business, and all of a sudden, she was talking about Botox. Then she started branching out into health and wellness, her makeup and hair tips. She kind of lost me because I was there for the business stuff. Always try to have it tied to why people came to you. You Don't Have to Start Alone If you need help, hire someone to hold your hand to make it happen. Michelle Abraham and her team at AmplifYou launch and manage podcasts. Also, my clients have my virtual assistants do it. Having support makes consistency much more doable. A Few Extra Tips Michelle Gave me:
Stay tuned for the next posts in this series, where we feature more burning questions from our anniversary celebration guests. You don't want to miss them. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Recently, I went to Web Summit Vancouver as part of the media and was lucky enough to interview some amazing female founders. In this blog, I’ll share about pre-, during, and post-events and how to get the most out of them. It's from my experience over the years, as my energy levels change, and from my goals and what my business needs.  PRE-EVENT 1. Get on the Conference App As best as you can, try to get on the conference app. Web Summit has an amazing app where you can:
If you're going to start connecting with people, have a purpose. For me, I was looking for female founders. I started going through the list, trying to find them and the businesses they started. 2. Connect with Intention You only have one chance at it. What I did was say straight up: "Hey, I want to talk to you because you're a female founder and I'm looking for guests for my podcast called Dynamic Women." Put a link to whatever it is you want them to know about. As my coach says, this is "being in service." Imagine a waiter putting a napkin on their arm when you go to a nice restaurant, then welcoming you in and serving you. You want to come into your connection, serving the person. Even if it's like "Hey, I'd love to learn more about you. I see that you're doing X, Y, Z. Maybe you'd like this article", something where you're serving, not where you take the napkin, put it like a bib, and come with the intention of "give me, give me, give me." I had a few people reach out wanting to connect and say things like "Hey, this is my business. You can book a call to learn more here." I'm probably not going to even connect with them. On LinkedIn, always send a connection request with a note so the person knows why you're reaching out. 3. Plan Your Schedule If there are multiple stages/speakers, where do you want to be at what time? Which makes more sense?  At Web Summit, their app is fantastic. You can:
If you're at the conference and know certain sessions are recorded, plan to go back and watch them later. This gives you the freedom to attend meetups, have hallway conversations, or attend master classes (not otherwise recorded). 4. Know Your Goals and Intention Before you go, think about: What are my goals? What am I hoping to get out of this? If you want to have a good ROI (return on investment), you want to make sure you know your intention for being there. Why I attended Web Summit? Two reasons: 1. Interview female founders. With my media pass and podcast, I can provide a platform, reach, and airtime to women who may not otherwise get it. Often, the media wants you to interview more well-known people. My approach is different. I want to give airtime to those who wouldn't normally have it. 2. Learn about AI for my virtual assistant agency (VA Made Easy). We're in the age of AI. I was there to learn what we can integrate into our business and what I can bring into VA Made Easy to make it easier for my VAs and clients. Many small business owners think, "I can just use AI to replace employees, contractors, and my VA." Don't, don't, don't, don't. When you replace a virtual assistant (a person) with software, you become the manager of the software; you're the AI manager. I attended to explore how we can have the virtual assistants become more managers of the AI to free up more of their time. Their current tasks can be completed faster, allowing them to take on more and increase their value to their client. When you know exactly what you want to do going into it, you can have a better ROI of your time and energy. Even if you were going to something that is free, it's still a killer of your time. You want to make sure you're getting something out of it. DURING THE EVENT 1. Manage Your Time and Energy There are a lot of night events, and they're fantastic. But for me, I'm looking to get most of my stuff done during the day. That means some of the things I step out of, and then I listen to the recording as I'm on my way home or later in the evening.  I don't necessarily need to be at the night events to reach my goals. Some of the founders I've interviewed might want to attend these night events to meet investors, mentors, or other founders. Just know how your day needs to be based on your energy level and your goals. 2. Use the App as a Connection Tool At Web Summit, we have name badges with a QR code. We can scan them and connect with the person on the app. This is a feature that many big conferences are now doing. But I suggest you also connect with them on LinkedIn. The reason: if you connect on LinkedIn, once you're done with the app, you can still move forward and have that connection. You don't always remember who you connected to. If you have them in the conference app as well as LinkedIn, you can refer back to the app. 3. Take Screenshots and Photos Once you've made that LinkedIn connection, if there's one you don't want to lose, take a quick screenshot to save it to your images. You can add that to your Notes section and write something below it. You can also take a photo together. Take the photo and send it to them on LinkedIn and say, "So great meeting you and talking about XYZ" (whatever the topic was). I've had a lot of people connecting about interviewing them. I said, "Message me on LinkedIn and say we're going to talk about being on the podcast" or "I'm going to be on your podcast", just so it's that reminder. You meet hundreds of people, and then afterwards you go "Shoot. What was the name of that person who was wearing the red outfit, who did that business I wanted to connect with?" Hopefully, on LinkedIn one day you see a post from them and remember, "That's who it was." But we want to be more intentional about the connections. 4. Make a List at the End of the Day Have a list of everyone you want to follow up with. I promise you, a week or two weeks from now, you're not going to remember everybody. POST-EVENT This is where a lot of my business-owner clients, before they come to me, completely waste opportunities. If you're going to be a vendor at a trade show, a speaker at an event, or just attending, you want to have a post-event strategy. The Three-Part Strategy 1. People You Connected With Go back, look at all the people you connected with, and move them into some buckets. Use your CRM, Google sheet, notepad, or something. Put them in the list of:
Set reminders in your CRM so you know: I'm going to connect with this person in a week, or tomorrow, or a few weeks, depending on the urgency of that connection. Post those photos you took. If you took that selfie with someone, make a big post with lots of images and tag that person so they can see it. Make a general post about the event, thanking whoever hosted it, and tagging a bunch of the speakers you want to stay connected with. Hopefully, you've taken images of them, because as a speaker you don't always have your own photographer on hand. If you can take some nice photos of a speaker you want to get connected with, even some short video, and if you have one little nugget you can say that they taught you: "So great hearing from Mary Smith, and she spoke about [insert the title]. My biggest takeaway from them, or the piece that I'm going to implement, is..." That's really nice feedback for the speaker. They're going to see that because you've tagged them, and they're going to think, "Wow, this person cared about my talk," so they might care about connecting and engaging with your post. Once you've done these posts, don't just leave them be. Go back. Check on them. Comment back. There might be some more connections that happen. Ninja tip: Google or search for the event hashtags, then look at the event's profile on different platforms. Maybe you're in some of the photos, and you didn't know. Other people might be posting, but they didn't know your name. It's also great to be reminded of people, "Oh right, that's that person. I wanted to connect with them, but didn't get their LinkedIn." 2. Your Notes: The 10-24-7 System One thing I like to do is called 10-24-7:
I promise you: the next day it's all fresh, and you'll think, "Oh yeah, those things were so awesome." A week later, you've already forgotten it. Unless you've put those highlighted things on your calendar to implement or done some goal-setting around them, you're probably going to forget them. Look at all the highlighted items and put them on your calendar if you haven't yet, even if it's three months down the road or six months down the road. Put it as a task to review the goal or add that in so you have those golden nuggets there. Otherwise, with the information you gathered, it was a waste of time. We've heard a lot about "shelf help." We don't want any of the self-help or professional development to just get lost and forgotten on a shelf. Otherwise, you’ll keep making the same mistakes. 3. Implementing: The 12-3-1 System You don't have to implement everything.
That one thing could be really big, so you might have to break it down into something smaller. What do you do next month? Go back, look at your list (maybe you have 11 things now, or maybe you've added one). Ask, "What are my top three, and what's the one I'm going to do this month?" This really helps you actually lock in and put into play the things that matter most. Don't Do It All Yourself If this is overwhelming and there are so many things you want to implement, don't do it all yourself. A lot of times, I'm in the middle of a workshop or talk, and I'm texting my virtual assistant or messaging them on WhatsApp (the free way to do it, especially when they're in the Philippines). I'm saying:
Or I'm in Trello (my project management platform), adding a task specific to them. Quick Implementation Example One example was quote cards. One of my coaches shared that rather than a business card, make a quote card with 10 quotes connected to your business, not quoting other people, but quoting yourself with your business info on it. As he's talking, I'm writing down the 10 quotes I think would be great. I shoot that over to Kristine, my VA and say, "Hey, can you make a business card with five quotes on each side?" I took a picture of his, and sent it over. She had it back to me pretty quickly, so at break I showed him. I said, "What do you think?" He gave me a few pointers, and I was already off and running, sending it off to my printer. This is how you have massive, quick action: by not implementing everything yourself. If you're like "Oh yeah, but Diane, you have a team", you can have support too! You wouldn't believe how affordable it is to bring on a virtual assistant. And I make it super easy for you. Our company VA Made Easy, starts at just 10 hours a week. You don't have to hire full-time staff. You don't have to have an office they work in. You don't have to buy them a computer. It's all set, and it's definitely doable. We have an upcoming delegation workshop titled “Build Your Business & Reach Your Goals with the Help of a Virtual Assistant”. It’s free to join here. But if the date has passed when you read this, email my team at [email protected], and we will let you know about the next dates. Get the Best ROI When you're going to invest time and money in an event, use my recommendations to make sure you get the best ROI. Share this with a friend or another busy business owner who wants to achieve better ROI (return on investment) in their time, energy, and money. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Have you ever gotten to the end of your day and thought, “I worked all day, but I didn't actually move anything forward"?  It's probably because you're focusing on so many things at once. You…
But all the important things that would move your business forward didn't have time to get done. That's because there's a huge difference between working IN your business and working ON your business, and most business owners are spending almost all of their time in it. Working IN Your Business vs. ON Your Busines Just to make sure we're on the same page: Working IN Your Business This is:
You're basically operating the machine that is your business. If you're not doing the things in your business, your business doesn't run. Working ON Your Business But there's another layer to it, a higher layer. What does that look like? That's:
Working ON the business is where scaling happens. Growth happens. Revenue increases. But most women rarely get to put time, energy and resources there. Why Is This Happening? Because there’s a lot to do, and being busy feels productive. But being busy doesn't mean you're earning more revenue. You can be super busy and super poor at the exact same time. Honestly, for a lot of business owners, being busy feels safe because you're not necessarily doing some of these higher-level tasks that might be a little bit out of your wheelhouse or a bit of a stretch. You know how to execute. You know how to do your activities. You know how to handle things and people rely on you. There's reward that comes with being the one who keeps everything moving. You get to check off your list, which is fun sometimes. But eventually, you are the bottleneck. Because if you're the one working the machine, making everything run, then the business can't really grow past your personal capacity. You are the bottleneck to getting things done, and you are also the one holding your business back from growing. The Cost of Staying IN the Business If you're continuing to work in the business, you never have enough:
 You stay in reaction mode. Reaction mode may maintain the business, but it rarely scales it. If you're thinking, "Yeah, but I don't want to scale my business". Yeah, but you also don't want to be the bottleneck in your business, or what’s stopping the revenue growth, or you enjoying life. You can't build to the next level of your business while you're spending all your time maintaining the current one. You have to have both. What Working ON the Business Unlocks When you finally spend time on the business, you start to:
Honestly, it just feels so much lighter. You can't be carrying every moving piece yourself. I see business owners try to do this. Even ones that have been in business for decades are still doing each part or at least most of it themselves, and that's going to feel really hard. And it’s hard to maintain. When your core limiting belief is “I am not enough,” getting things done becomes proof of your value. That’s what keeps you stuck working in the business instead of stepping back to lead it. The Difference When you're in the business:
Working on the business can feel slower and less visible at first, but in the long term, that's the work that changes everything. Shift the Identity Stop asking "what needs my attention today" and start asking "what's actually moving the business forward?"  Often, people just get lost in their tasks. In the same way, when we work on tasks, we're not necessarily working on projects. It's a completely different way of operating. Why Support Really Matters It's not that you're incapable of doing everything. Maybe that's the problem. You're in the capable woman trap, where you can do everything, so you try. But because you're buried in daily operations all day long, you've never really had the time to lead, to be in the vision, and to be where you need to be on the business. I was leading the Dynamic Wealth Accelerator program and hearing from one of my clients: "I would have more leads if I had time to get them. I know there are things I have to do, but I'm not able to do them" because she's working in the business. She's not able to build out that vision because there are too many little pieces needing her attention. It's that shift that needs to happen. The Three Roles (Coming Next) In the next blog, I'm going to break down this framework even further from a book I think everyone should read: The E-Myth Revisited (get the updated version). In it, they talk about the three roles most business owners are playing (or we hope they're playing):
The problem is that most people in the business are focusing on just the technician role. Most women, most business owners, are massively overfunctioning in one of these areas, more than likely the technician, because that was the skill set that they had in the beginning. Ask Yourself How much of your time is spent IN the business versus ON the business? If you can answer that with honesty, you may also find the reason things feel so heavy right now or why you haven't reached your goals. The Solution We have a workshop called, Build Your Business and Reach Your Goals with the Help of a Virtual Assistant. It's on Thursday, May 21st, 2026 from 1-3 PM PT. You can register here for free. This is my gift to you. It is virtual, so I'm going to cover aspects of delegation, maximizing their time, and how you can gain more time freedom and better results. I'll tell you, when you get support under you, you have more time, energy, and ability to work on the business while your virtual assistant can work in the business. If you can't make it, but you know you definitely want a virtual assistant, or you want to explore the idea even more, please reach out to me [email protected]. I have a couple of virtual assistants who have some availability right now, so they can take a lot of tasks off your plate. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Let me ask you something: How many ideas are sitting on your to-do list right now… things that you know would move your business forward, but they are not getting done?  It's not because you don't care or you're not capable, but the problem is they're not getting done. A lot of people say it's a time problem, but maybe it's not. This may be an implementation issue. The Idea Graveyard I see this all the time in the businesswomen that I work with and the busy corporate professionals that I coach. You're smart, you're driven, you're not lacking ideas or strategy. But that actually might be part of the problem. You have so many:
But they're not fully executed. Over time, this creates a backlog, an idea graveyard of all these things, so many good ideas that never become results. The Secret: Just Implement I was pulled up front at a mastermind where my coach was talking about the successes I've had. People came up to me afterwards and said, "How have you had so much success?" They were looking for a magic pill. The key thing I said to them is: Implement. You just got to implement. Granted, I have had a lot of great strategy and ideas, but the thing is, I was implementing a lot of what my different coaches were telling me. It's maybe the truth that people don't want to hear, because it will actually get you faster results than anything else. Your coaches can give you strategies all day long, but if you don't implement them, you're not going to see the results. Knowledge Is Not the Edge We live in a world where you can Google anything. I'm sure you have used one of the AI platforms, Claude, ChatGPT or whatever, to come up with ideas. You can learn anything. It might not be entirely correct, but you can still learn from it. But that knowledge is not necessarily the edge. Though you need to be an expert at your own material, execution can actually be the edge. The women who are growing, scaling, and fueling momentum are no more special than you or I (though I'd love to say they are). It's more so that they're just getting things done. It's not that they know more, though sometimes they do have great strategies and ideas. They're just the ones implementing. Why Things Aren't Getting Done Your time and energy are pulled in so many directions, probably too many directions. You're:
The sad thing is, you're constantly in reaction mode. Probably 50% of your day is in reaction mode with these small tasks.  Then, when you have time, you're tired, decision-fatigued, or you don't have the mental space to execute, or you're delivering on the things you have sold or are good at, like client or customer service. Permission to Stop Seeking More Ideas I'm giving you permission now not to seek more ideas, but to implement the great ones you have. If you don't have a strategy or ideas, then of course, go and get it. But once you have it, implement before you gather more ideas. What Most People Do (and Why It Doesn't Work) Most people try to just get more organized:
That's not always a solution, because you're still the one doing everything. A New Way of Thinking Here is a shift that I hope you can have: What if the problem wasn't time management or discipline? What if the problem was you're the only one implementing, or you're only one of the few that are implementing? Think about that for a moment. Think about your organizational chart and all the different roles you have. Not only that, within every role, you're:
Of course, things aren't getting done. It's tiring to do all of that. You're just running out of capacity to get everything done because you don't have the right structure in place. Imagine This You have an idea and it actually gets implemented. You have an idea, and then it gets done very quickly:
It's not because you found more time in your own schedule. It's because you're not doing it alone anymore. How Do We Do That? This is where most people just jump in: "Today I need to hire help. I need to hire someone to work with me. I need to get an office. I need to rent space. I need to hire an expert." Yes, support is part of the solution, but you don't have to do it in a way rooted in old thinking. Before You Hire Even before you hire, it's thinking about: What do I really need to implement? You need to understand that first. Out of all the ideas and strategies you have:
What's the thing that's going to actually move the needle? That's what you need to delegate. I'm going to be doing a series here around delegation, passing off tasks, and using a virtual assistant to do this, so you don't have to rent an office, and you don't have to pay North American or Western rates. In my next blog, I will talk about the difference between working IN your business vs ON your business. Real Results Example One of my virtual assistant clients said to me, "Wow, I landed five new clients in the first two weeks." I said, "How did that happen?"  She said, "Well, I had this idea for a follow-up sequence to be done in emails that then set up calls with me. All I did was have my VA (virtual assistant) actually implement that idea for that email sequence. I was able to have a bunch of these calls set up, and I was able to close five of those leads into clients." Wouldn't that be amazing if in the next two weeks, you could have that type of result? Take Action Today Make a little list. What are the things that are unimplemented, that are not put into action right now? I'm not saying every idea you have needs to be implemented. I believe there are certain seasons for certain ideas, and this is not the time to judge yourself. It's just about awareness. Awareness is the first step to change. If you want to get the results you're looking for, and not just have this massive to-do list, then let me connect you with a great VA. Book a chat here. Or attend the next training. Until next time, stay dynamic!
Women ask me, "Diane, how do you maintain friendships if you're a busy woman?" That's what I'm going to talk about today. Not just how to do it, but the new way to build and maintain meaningful friendships as a busy woman.  This is the last blog of a four-part series all about friends, which was sparked by me being vulnerable and sharing how at my 50th birthday (which is in three and a half years), I want to have 50 girlfriends there. I say girlfriends just because I am craving, wanting more, closer female friendships. Friendships Don't Just Happen We all know friendships don't just happen. But what do we actually do to make them happy and healthy and meaningful? I used to think friendships had to be forged over years and years: high school friends, some sports friends, neighbourhood friends. They don't have to be forged over long dinners, big plans, lots of time. That's also because I don't have a lot of time, and I suspect you don't either. Because of this, I decided, "Well, I guess I'll be friends with who I can be friends with in the time that I have and in the things that are already happening in life." For quite a while, I've actually built a lot of friendships:
How We Normally Build Friendships 1. Put it in your calendar. If you don't schedule it, it doesn't happen. That's just the reality of life. Looking at my schedule every week, every few weeks, I think: Where can I plug in these walks, and coffee dates? Where can I invite someone I know to an event with me, or drive with me to an event so we can catch up? 2. Reach Out Without a Reason Just sending messages like:
Every time I do that, it's so well received. Sometimes it's "Oh, you were on my heart, and I prayed for you." This ability to reach out and even connect it to something you've seen before, like sending an impactful article, funny meme, or something that can be inspirational to the person, shows that you're thinking of them and that you care. 3. Be the One Who Initiates If you've met a cool person and you want to be their friend, initiate. I stopped waiting because I was waiting a long time for people to reach out, and it just wasn't happening.  Most other people are waiting too, and they're wondering why it hasn't happened. If you are the one who initiates and sets up the meeting, the next piece is easier. 4. Make a Plan While in a Plan While you're at the movies, on the walk, having dinner, having a coffee with someone, on the phone for a chat, make a plan for the next time you're going to be together. I learned this actually from my chiropractor. After my appointment, as I'm paying, he'll say, "Okay, so how long do you want to give it? Three weeks, four weeks?" I appreciate that because it goes in my calendar. Otherwise, with practitioners that don't book it in with me, I find months go by, and I'm like, "Oh, right, I need to book in." Then I'm too busy to even just book it. That's the easiest way to do it: While you're on that coffee date, just say, "Hey, let's look at our calendars. When can we meet again?" That makes it so easy to just keep going without a whole bunch of texts trying to figure out your calendar when it's probably already a month or two later. 5. Change Your Focus From "I'm just going to know all these people" to "I'm going to be making more meaningful connections." Then ask yourself: How do I actually do that? How do I make more meaningful connections with people? Is it one of these?
What is it for you that would help you really gain depth in that friendship, in that relationship? We could think about even the Five Love Languages. What is the love language of your friend in terms of their friendship language? Is it acts of service? Is it words of affirmation? What is it that they need? You could even ask:
That would really give more information for a stronger friendship. The New Way: Blend Friendships Naturally Into Our Lives I'm encouraging you to try not just a new way, like shorter coffee dates or going for walks, but what if we changed the way we spent time with others? What if, instead of it being another task, it just blended naturally into our lives? Invite a Friend to Do Errands With You
 Help Each Other I did that with one friend. I shared with her, “When my family goes away, I really want to organize my son's room. It's chaos." She surprised me by saying, "I could help you with that." And she did, so I asked, "Well, then what can I help you with?" I just remembered that I need to reach out to her because I haven't reciprocated yet. I was going to help her with some gardening. Since it's springtime now, it would be a great time for me to support her by spending a few hours with her in the garden. Many hands make little work, and it's much more fun to do these things with someone else. Invite Someone Over to Your Messy House How about we even change it from, we need to go out for dinner, using a lot of time and money " to " inviting someone over to our messy house to eat leftovers or grilled cheese sandwiches or something super simple? I remember when a friend of mine said, "Do you want to just come over? I've got some great leftovers." I gladly accepted. It just felt more personal to be in her everyday life. What if that was the new way we built meaningful relationships? I remember being invited over to stop in at someone's house. Coming into her house, I noticed that she hadn't vacuumed in a while, and I was like, "Oh, good. She's not perfect, and her home doesn't have to be perfect. This is just normal, and that's okay." Better that I get to go over and spend time with her than she freaks out and is like, "My house isn't ready, and I can't have you over." What if we just made it easier for us to do life together? We don't have to go on these big plans or adventures (though they are fun). What if we just build meaningful relationships as we live our everyday lives? Take Action Today With those thoughts, with this new way of building these deeper, more meaningful relationships as a busy woman, what is one thing that you could invite a friend to do with you? Look at your calendar. See what's on there. Is there something that you can invite them to be a part of? Then who is that one person that you could reach out to, even if it's just "I'm thinking of you"? Who is the one person that you would like to either rekindle your friendship or go into a deeper, more meaningful friendship with? Who could you reach out to? Really, that's the first step: just knowing who, and then figuring out the what. Given that it's spring right now, you could plant flowers, or depending on the season that you're in (maybe it's winter when you're reading this), there's always something that could be done physically outside, like shovelling a driveway, raking leaves, whatever it may be. What is something that you could do together? You don't need more time. You don't need to have it cost a ton of money. You just need a little bit of intention and a little bit of innovation to have it be the new way of meeting, doing life together, and building our friendships at the same time. And that's something you can start today. We Weren't Meant to Do Life Alone If you just found this blog, know that I don't normally talk this much about relationships and friendships. I just felt like this is something that a lot of people have been commenting on and sharing with me, the struggle that they have around friendships. So I'm putting time and energy into this because I know it will have a big impact. We weren't meant to do life alone. We're meant to be surrounded by other amazing women, other friends, people with whom we can live our lives with. So reach out to somebody today. Until next time, stay dynamic!
There comes a point in business where working harder stops being the answer. You can be doing all the “right” things.
And yet… your income still doesn’t feel like it matches your effort. If that feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many high-achieving women reach a stage where the very habits that helped them build momentum become the same habits that keep them stuck. That is why The Wealth Shift was created.  Why More Effort Stops Working So many women have been taught that success comes from pushing harder. Do more. Be more available. Wear all the hats. Keep proving yourself. That mindset may help you build something real. But it often does not help you scale. At some point, more effort creates more exhaustion, more pressure, and more complexity, without creating more wealth. You may find yourself:
This does not mean you are failing. It often means your next level requires a different way of operating. What Successful Women Quietly Experience Many capable women have built businesses through discipline, resilience, and being willing to do whatever it takes. They are smart, committed, and dependable. They are also often doing too much themselves. Behind the scenes, many are asking:
These are not signs of weakness. They are signs that growth now requires evolution. After building multiple businesses, supporting women entrepreneurs around the world, leading conversations through the Dynamic Women® Podcast, and helping business owners scale through Virtual Assistant Made Easy, one truth keeps showing up: The next level rarely comes from more effort. It comes from a different way of thinking, leading, and growing because success should feel as good as it looks. And it should create more time freedom and financial freedom too. The Shift From Effort to Leadership Getting to six figures and beyond requires a shift in how you think, lead, and operate. That means moving from:
This shift can feel uncomfortable at first. Especially for women who are used to being the capable one. The one who handles it. The one who figures it out. But staying in that role too long can keep growth heavy. What Needs to Change Sometimes the next level is less about what to add and more about what to stop.
The next level often comes from simplifying, strengthening systems, building support, and leading differently.  It also comes from being in rooms with women who are growing too. Because who you are surrounded by changes what you believe is possible. Introducing The Wealth Shift The Wealth Shift is where things change. This is not another “do more” workshop. It is for high-achieving women who are ready to stop working harder for every dollar and start building sustainable, supported income. Inside this experience, you’ll discover:
Most importantly, you’ll leave feeling clearer, lighter, and more in control of your growth. Who This Is For This is for you if:
This is NOT for you if:
Join us virtually at The Wealth Shift, happening on April 29th, 9-11AM PT. And since you’re reading this, I’ll gift you a seat!  It will be intimate, interactive, and focused on real shifts. You’ll be surrounded by high-achieving women who value depth, honesty, and meaningful conversations, not surface-level networking. Because sometimes one room, one conversation, one shift in perspective can change everything. If you are ready for your next level, this may be exactly the room for you. Make sure to save your spot here.
There’s a friendship gap that doesn’t get talked about much, but a lot of high achievers feel it. Today, I want to share what that gap really is… and see if any part of it feels familiar to you.  This is the third in a series all about friendship. The first one is about the 50 friends before I’m 50 challenge that I’m committing to. The second one is about why high-achieving women struggle to maintain friendships. The next one will be about how to build and maintain meaningful friendships. The Gap Isn't About Not Having Friends It's deeper. It's about the depth of those friendships. There's something I don't think we talk enough about: we can have a really full life but still feel really disconnected. You can know a lot of people and still not feel deeply known, or still feel lonely. I've had moments where my calendar is full of events with lots of people, my business is moving forward, I have lots of clients, my family is good, and yet something feels a little bit off. It's not that I feel bad or like life is terrible. It's just like something's missing. When I really looked at it, it wasn't more people I needed. This is not about getting just 50 people to be my friend, because I can just name off 50 people. It's the deeper connections with the right people. I'm not saying there are wrong people, but the right friendships for me and that I'm the right friend for them, and that we have a deeper connection. Surface Level vs. Depth What I’ve noticed is this layer of surface-level friendships and acquaintances. There are a lot of people in my life. A lot of conversations, interactions, and little touchpoints throughout the day. It can look full from the outside. But it doesn’t always feel deep. And it’s not because they can’t go there, or I can’t go there. It’s just that we haven’t crossed that line into something deeper yet. The Circles of Closeness I was talking about this inside my Dynamic You program, and one of the women brought up something really interesting. She said, “I know a lot of people… but I don’t actually want to bring everyone in close.” Because she’s so warm and friendly, people tend to open up to her really quickly. And she finds herself thinking, “Whoa, whoa… we just met. This isn’t the level I’m trying to be at right now.” And it led to this conversation around circles of closeness. Not everyone belongs in the same circle. You might have a small handful of people who are truly close, your inner circle. And then, like rings on a tree, it expands outward. Still meaningful, still valuable… just different levels of depth and access. The High Achiever Experience A lot of times, high-achieving women are often the leaders, the ones running things, holding space, teaching, training, being there for others, coaching, advising, consulting, or just being a role model to others. They're often the successful ones in the room, and they just feel like they don't have a place where they can actually just exhale, to be fully themselves, to say what's really going on beneath the surface.  I realized that I've fallen into that. I've had proximity to a lot of people, but not always closeness. I was chatting with someone I consider a friend through my church and in the business world. Just sharing openly about this and how it was vulnerable for me to share it. She was like, "Yeah, I thought you knew a lot of people." I shared, "Yeah, I do, but I don't have a lot of close friends." She agreed that she's had trouble in certain parts of her life forming those stronger, deeper friendships. She's tried. She's put herself out there, she's reached out, and she just hasn't had the same response. There's a difference between being around people and feeling truly connected and able to be yourself, where you can let your wall down. There are the surface-level friendships, the acquaintances, and then the people who really know you. Often, high-achieving women have wide circles. They know so many people in so many areas of their life, but they don't always get to go deep. That's the gap. That is often a very big gap. It's not that they lack people or great people who could be fabulous, deeper friends. It's just they're lacking the depth. Real Life Examples of the Gap Here’s what it can actually look like in everyday life: “We should catch up soon.” And somehow… that turns into months. “Hey, how are things?” “Good, good… busy.” And that’s where it ends. Those quick check-ins happen in passing, in a hallway, at the mall, in a DM. The moment doesn’t really allow for depth, and if we’re honest, sometimes neither person is ready for the real answer anyway. And then there are the messages that never get sent. You think of someone… but don’t reach out. You mean to send a voice note… but don’t. You see their message… and don’t get back to it. Individually, they feel small. But over time, they add up… and keep the relationship sitting at the surface instead of moving deeper.  I was away recently, and both a neighbour and a friend sent me Happy Easter messages. I remember sitting by the pool, thinking through what I wanted to say back… and then I just never hit send. When I got home, I felt bad. I apologized and replied, but it made me realize how easily those small moments slip by. And the same thing happens on social media. Likes and comments are great. I’ve had moments where I think, “Wow, they care about me. They’re engaging with what I’m sharing.” And that does matter. But it doesn’t deepen the relationship. It maintains a connection. Those quick touchpoints, the scroll, the like, the short chat at a networking event… they can fill that space just enough to feel connected. But not enough to feel truly seen, supported, or known. When You Can't Let Your Guard Down There have been so many times I’ve been in programs where I wanted to be vulnerable. Where I needed to process something, or feel frustrated, or talk through not getting the result I was hoping for. But instead of being supported… I found myself being the one supporting everyone else. And I realized this isn’t new for me. Even when I was younger, if I shared something emotional, the other person would often share right back. I remember when my grandfather passed away when I was 16. I was in drama class that day, and during an activity, people were teasing each other. Someone made fun of me, and I started crying. People didn’t get it. They said, “It’s not a big deal.” And I said, “My grandfather just died this morning.” My teacher came to check on me… and then she started sharing about her own loss. She looked sad, and in that moment I thought, okay… I guess I can’t be the one who’s sad right now. So I shifted. And I’ve noticed that pattern shows up again and again. It’s part of why I’ve invested in support, such as counsellors, my naturopath, and my massage therapist. I’ve paid for spaces where I can actually be taken care of… because it hasn’t always felt easy to find that in friendships or even in group programs. My clients know I can be vulnerable. My friends see that side of me too. But having a space where I can fully let my guard down… that hasn’t always been easy to find. And maybe you can relate to that too. Surface Level Only Gets You So Far Surface-level connections are only going to get you so far. At some point, you start craving something more:
When you have that, you feel seen and heard, and then you can let your guard down. I hear many of my high-achieving clients say, "Other than you, I don't have anyone else I can lean on." I answer with, "Bring your mess to me so that you can be magnificent out there." Full Life, But Empty We don't want to have a full life but then feel empty. This is what success in life can look like without satisfaction. Friends are one area of life, which is why I'm focusing on this. I will take responsibility for what I've done or haven't done to gain deeper friendships and close the gap between surface-level friendships and deep friendships. Where in your life do you have people but not the depth of relationship that you're going for? Who do you actually feel safe being your full self with? Being Your Full Self Often, I'm the one holding space or leading. I have to be the responsible one. I have to be the good girl. I have to be the one who sets the bar high. But sometimes, like in school, I can be the straight-A student who gets all our work done, but then I can be the class clown a little bit. It was surprising when I went away for one of my friend’s 40th birthday to Hawaii for the week. I was able to be silly, goofy, and funny. At one point, she just stared at me. She'd been laughing quite a bit at what I was saying, and she looked at me and said, "Wow, Diane, you're really funny. I haven't seen that side of you." I felt sad that a friend of mine hasn't seen the funny side of me, because I'm having to be responsible, hold things together or be professional or whatever it may be." Knowing that you have a safe place to be your full self is so important. It's About Depth, Not Width Just remember:
When you have that, it changes everything. You know that at 2 AM you could call somebody to help you. You know if you needed people to do a meal train or to go have fun, you'd have a list of people you could reach out to. Depth only happens when we choose to create space for it. That is what I'm doing right now, and I guess that's what I've been choosing for the past six months, and will be for the next three and a half years and probably the rest of my life. What did you relate to? Comment below or email me: [email protected]. Until next time, stay dynamic!
High achievers don't always have many close friends. Some of it is our fault, and some of it is how society sees high achievers.  If this is something you can relate to, or you're just curious, keep reading. Today I'm talking about why high-achieving women struggle to maintain friendships. This is the second in a series about friendships. This came about because I started the 50 before 50 challenge, meaning I would love to have 50 close friends before I turn 50. I have three and a half years to make that happen, which is fantastic, because it takes time to make friends. Reasons why high-achieving women struggle to create and maintain friendships Reason 1: We’re Busy and Goal-Focused No surprise here. High achievers often think, “I should reach out,” but don’t. Work and life take over. We show up consistently for business goals, deadlines, and commitments. Friendships don’t always get the same structure or priority. If a friend truly needs us, we’re there. But the lighter, everyday connection? That’s where things slip. This isn’t just a stereotype. It comes up often in conversations with high-achieving women. Many feel it, even if it shows up differently. It’s a familiar pattern: “I should text her.” “I should plan something.” Then the calendar comes out: “When are we both free?” “Can I fit this in?” “Will our schedules ever align?” Between work, clients, kids, and everything else, it gets pushed to later. And later keeps moving. We’re wired to prioritize what feels urgent and measurable. Productivity wins. Friendships don’t come with clear metrics or immediate outcomes, so they’re easier to delay. It can even feel like we have to “earn” downtime. Work first, then maybe fun. So connection gets treated like a luxury instead of a need. One client realized this when the earliest dinner she could schedule with a friend was three months out. That was the signal that something needed to change. I can remember someone in an association that I was getting close to as a friend. We did some board stuff together that was really fun. Then she asked me to do some higher-level board stuff, and in her invite, she said, "Hey, this is going to be so great. We could hang out together more." I didn't want to do the board work, but I wanted to hang out with her more. So I replied, "Can I just say no and still hang out with you more?" She was like, "For sure, for sure." Reason 2: Identity Shifts As high-achieving women, we grow and change quickly. With each new level comes new roles, responsibilities, and expectations. Sometimes, the people who understand us best are in similar environments, like business. That’s often where new friendships form. But growth can also create distance. Not every friendship evolves in the same direction. Priorities shift, time gets tighter, and without intention, connection fades. It’s rarely dramatic. No big fallout. Just less reaching out, fewer shared moments, and eventually, silence. Even structured time together can be misleading. You might spend a lot of time with someone through work or volunteering, but once that shared context disappears, so does the connection. That’s when you realize the friendship depended more on proximity than intention. Reason 3: The “Later” Trap High achievers are always working toward the next thing. So we tell ourselves, “I’ll reach out after this launch,” or “when things calm down.” But things rarely calm down. The next goal replaces the last one, and the pace stays the same. Short busy seasons are normal. But when “later” keeps getting pushed, it quietly turns into never. It’s not a time issue as much as a pattern. The same drive that fuels success can also keep friendships on hold. Reason 4: We Don’t Want to Be a Burden This one is subtle but powerful. High achievers are used to being capable, reliable, and self-sufficient. So instead of reaching out, we think:
And we don’t reach out at all. We handle things on our own, even in moments when we’d normally lean on a friend. Not because we don’t value connection, but because we don’t want to feel like we’re adding to someone else’s load. How Society Screws Us Over This is almost the opposite of a lot of the things I've already said, or connected to the things I have already said. We're told:
We not only have to bear the emotional burden, but maybe a physical one as well when doing things. Society's Priority Setting for Us Society tells us: You need that bigger house, that better this, that bigger that, that next level. Our value comes from external things, based on our success, rather than from our satisfaction, which would be the friendships. They're not valued as highly, though everyone says, "You know, people are the most valuable.” When there's a fire, as long as everyone's okay, that's all that matters. With higher roles, there's an expectation that you're the first one there, the last one to leave, that you're giving up your evenings, your weekends, that you're always there at the helm. Could you really skip out on an extra meeting at night or somebody asking to meet with you through work and say instead, "I can't, I'm hanging out with my friend"? It's a little bit frowned upon. Even though people are like, "No, no, family is important, friends are important," saying no to something work-related is very frowned upon. The Assumption: "They Already Have a Lot of Friends" Since society says this person's successful, this person's high-achieving, this person knows a lot of people (I touched on this in the last post), they already have a lot of friends. Therefore:
Often, high achievers and leaders are the loneliest because we know many people, but we don't have many we can confide in or lean on.  Many times I've tried to lean on people, and the result was that they leaned right back on me in the same conversation, or they didn't know how to handle it when I became vulnerable, which meant I put the wall back up, pulled back, and acted okay again. Check on Your Strong Friends I've said this before: You have to check on your strong friends. You have to check in on the strong women, the successful women in your life, because you never know what kind of demons they're dealing with behind the scenes, or the loneliness & the pressures. They need not only friends to lean on and share the burden with, but also friends just to have fun, because that's one of the first categories that leaves a high achiever's life. When we look at the 10 areas, the top three to leave are:
We Need to Change I think as a society, we need to change how things are. Not just having friends in business, but having friends in all areas. As I said in my last blog, I have friends in different categories and different areas: my soccer friends, my church friends, my neighbourhood friends, and my childhood friends. Those relationships really enrich my life in different ways. The Truth Moment We don’t lose friendships by accident or lack them for no reason. The way our lives, businesses, and drives are structured often works against us.  We can push back against society, but high-achieving women, let's drop the walls a little bit to show a little bit more of the vulnerability, because we're really good at building systems and reaching our goals, except in this category. Start Making This a Priority I encourage you to make this a priority if you want to build more friendships or deepen the ones you already have. Prioritize them intentionally so they don't slowly disappear. Instead, they can build up. You can choose to design this part of your life. Be intentional about your friendships, how they look, and how they fit. When you care about them, you make space for them by giving your time, energy, and attention on purpose. A good girlfriend time, that's where you get the belly laughs and the care, love, and support. You can always use this as an opportunity to reach out to a friend, to share this with them, and maybe start a conversation. Until next time, stay dynamic!
I recently published on social media about wanting 50 friends before I turn 50, and I'll be honest, I almost didn't post it. It felt way too vulnerable.  In this blog, I'm sharing more about the 50 friends by 50 challenge, why I'm doing it (the vulnerable part), and what it's teaching me. The Pattern Started Early Let me start with when I was younger. In high school, I've always been the person who knows a lot of people and is known by a lot of people. I knew classmates, students from sports and clubs and the student council, plus my soccer and rugby friends. I wasn't around at lunchtime because I was always in a meeting or catching up on something for sports. I had a friend who kept me connected to the group, but I had a lot of acquaintances and teammates, not a ton of super-close friends. But this was the age of no cell phones and no texting. I'd sit at home waiting for the call to know where people were going, and I wouldn't get it. I'd often sit at home by myself. I'd get to the lunch table on Monday, and people would talk about a party that had happened. I'd sit there quietly because I wasn't there. People would say, "Why weren't you there, Diane?" Everyone thought everyone else was inviting me. I also had a boyfriend for many years, which took up some of my free time. The Pattern Continued as an Adult As an adult, moving out to BC, I started making new friends through Toastmasters, soccer, and rugby. I remember sitting after a Toastmasters event, talking about wanting to hike in North Vancouver, but feeling nervous to do it alone because of bears. Another lady around my age said, "Oh, I thought you have so many friends you can go with." I said, "No, I don't." She was shocked. She said, "I've been wanting to hang out with you, but I just thought you already had a lot of friends." It was a real eye-opener. I'm either putting that energy out there, or because I know a lot of people, people think I have tons of friends. I've always had a few super close friends growing up, but one now lives across Canada (because I moved), another in Australia, another across the world and another further away in BC. I have some friends, but again, as an adult, I know many people and many know me. When I was running the Dynamic Women community across eight locations, I met hundreds of women, but they weren't my close friends. The Birthday Party Dilemma When it came to my birthday, it felt weird saying, "Hey, do you want to come to my birthday party?" I felt very vulnerable asking. That idea of "Don't you have a ton of friends? You only know me a little bit. Why would you invite me?" I often had super small birthdays because I felt weird, bad, and uneasy asking people. One year, I didn't really do anything. The following year, I decided to do breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with my Dynamic Women community in different cities. Women came, and it was wonderful. I felt honoured they would want to come. Since I haven't really been running Dynamic Women® events, I've been thinking, "What's going to happen when I hit my 50th birthday?" I would love for my husband to throw a party for me, but would I have friends to invite? I've been to other people's 50th birthdays where they rented a place and had all these people there, and it wasn't just people, it was their friends. I thought, "Wow, that would be so cool if I could confidently invite 50 friends to that party." I'm 46 now, turning 47 in September. It's not like I haven't built closer friends here. I do have friends at church, soccer, business, in my neighbourhood, and parents of my kids' friends. I just want them to be closer friends. How I Learned to Be a Better Friend One lady I met at Dynamic Women® started calling me on Mondays. We'd chat, get closer, and she kept calling every week. I felt so special that she called me.  A lot of times, when people invite me, call me, message me, or say they're happy to see me, I feel so good. I feel like I've missed out on that kind of feeling, which is very vulnerable and almost embarrassing to admit. I'm at that stage of life where I've been thinking a lot about friendships and about having more super-close girlfriend friendships. I know people who have had the same group of friends for years, and they all still hang out because they all live near each other. The Realization I've built businesses, been married for 16 years, and have kids who are 11 and 14 now. My life is full, just like I'm sure yours is.  Over time, I started to notice: I've been intentional about growing my business, but not nearly as intentional about growing my friendships. That friend who became close by calling me every week taught me something. You can intentionally build closer friendships, not just be friends with people by default or hope they get closer. I don't want to get to 50 and feel like I've let potential good friendships drift or never happen. I want to be surrounded by people at my 50th, not because I want to say, "Look at how many people care about me," but because I want to say, "Look at how many people are important to me, and I'm important to them." The Surprising Support I remember someone I'd only met twice found out my son had broken his femur at two and a half years old, and she set up a meal train. I was so surprised. She asked, "Who should I invite to partake?" I said, "I don't know." That seems like something you'd do for a friend, someone you know well. When I had my babies here and considered a baby shower, I thought, "Who do I invite? I don't even know who I would invite." It's a weird feeling. The 50 friends by 50 is not for the enjoyment of that party. It's really about the process of getting there and having really rich relationships in my life. The Vulnerable Post When I did the post, I thought, "Can I really let this go out there? I should delete it. I don't want it to be public knowledge that I don't have a ton of close friends." Then the response was amazing. Other people said, "I feel this too. I want that for myself." Some were younger, some older. They wanted to do it as well. It made me realize how common this is. People are always longing for a sense of belonging. The most emotional thing was ladies commenting, "I want to be there" (claiming a spot at the party), and people closer to me saying, "Count me in your 50." I had people I don't know well wanting to connect for coffee to get closer. That was really encouraging and exciting. The Categories When I came up with this challenge, I went to the notes section on my phone and started listing groups of people:
I wrote down the names of people I'm already close to and the names of people I'm intentionally building friendships with. Surprisingly, the list was longer than I expected. What I'm Learning Friendships don't maintain themselves. Just because you've known someone for a long time doesn't mean they're in your inner circle. It takes intention and time. People are more open to connecting than we think. That's really cool. I've been setting up small, intimate business events that have the potential to build friendships with women who can inspire and challenge me, and vice versa, where we can do life and business together (which is part of why I created Dynamic Women® in the first place). I've been messaging people: "Hey, do you want to get together for coffee? Do you want to go for a walk?" I have 3.5 years to make this work. What's Coming Next In my next blogs, I'll cover:
I'll keep you posted on how the 50 friends by 50 goes. It's teaching me a lot and shifting a lot for me. I've been reaching out to people I haven't talked to in a while, even just to say, "Hey, I was thinking about you." Every time I do it, I think, "Why didn't I do this sooner?" This isn't about the party with 50 friends. It's about the process and the joy that come with strong friendships and not leaving connection to chance. Your Turn That wasn't as vulnerable as I expected (I didn't cry, which is cool), but it is still hard for me to share. If you can relate, let me know. Send me a message at [email protected]. Share this with a friend or potential friend. Maybe this will start a conversation about wanting to hang out more and do more things together. Until next time, stay dynamic!
If you've ever felt that pull toward something that doesn't make sense on paper, then you’ll want to read on as I share why I said yes to a one-woman show and why you don't need permission to do whatever is calling you.  What Is This One-Woman Show? I have decided to write, produce, and star in a one-woman show. I'll let someone else direct me and serve as the stage manager, and I'll handle the other pieces. I have zero theatre background, and I'm doing it anyway. Maybe there are things in your life that are calling you, kind of intriguing you, pulling you forward, or getting you excited about something. The Problem: Most People Ignore It They don't listen to the calling or the spark, however you label it. They push it down. But there's a feeling that just keeps coming up. You think about it randomly, and it doesn't go away. Sometimes, eventually, someone else does it, and then you see them, and you're so mad that they're doing it. What is this something that could be pulling you forward?
For me, doing this one-woman show is what keeps calling me. Over the past few years, I've been really interested in glass blowing. While I haven't gotten out to do it yet (I've paid for a session, I haven't done it), I have watched the Netflix Series Blown Away, been to the Chihuly Glass and Garden Gallery in Seattle, and the opening of their glass-blowing festival. There are other areas where I get this spark, this urge, this pull, and I say yes to it. Not always immediately, but eventually, I do. The feeling is not random. It's something worth paying attention to. Why We Don't Say Yes Maybe you're wondering why you haven't moved forward. The thing is, a lot of times people overthink it. Common thoughts:
Rather than looking for reasons to do it, we often look for reasons not to. My hope for you is that you can listen to this pull, give it time and space, and eventually say yes to it. I'm saying yes even though I have no theatre background, and it's not what people are expecting from me. Instead of trusting the call, you start to build that case against it: "I can't do it for all of these reasons." But the thing is, overthinking is often what stops us from doing the things that would expand us. At some point, you didn't know how to do the job you're currently doing or the business you're currently running, but you said yes. At one point, you allowed yourself to be the student, to be new at it, to just figure it out. It's funny how we get older, and we say,
We put ourselves into a box. The only thing that's needed to know is that you want to do it. The Uncomfortable Part for High Achievers We're looking to do things for the three R's:
If you're not going to get those three R's (or at least two of them), you're going to say, "I don't want to do it." But this is different:
I want to give you permission to do that. Why Am I Doing This One-Woman Show? There was something about doing this one-woman show that kept calling me, so I said yes. It wasn't because it made sense. It's much easier for me to write a keynote as a professional speaker because I've already done it. I already know what it entails. I have zero knowledge of how to write a play script. I'm not doing it because it's strategic. In theatre, it's a long game. Shows are booked one to two years out. I'm not doing this because it's a great financial move. Actually, it's a financial expense. I need to pay for:
So then why? Why would I do it? It doesn't seem like there's any rational reason, except that I'm doing it because I want to. Wanting to do something is enough reason to explore it. Stop blocking yourself! Other Things I've Said Yes To:
If I'd said no to those things, if I'd said no to writing my first book, if I'd said no to putting together my first collaborative book and my first summit, what would I have missed out on? Do you see where I'm going here? A lot of great things have happened because I've had a feeling, a pull, a spark that I was excited about doing something. That energy, when followed, that resonance, can bring amazing results. What Happens When You Say Yes  1. You Expand Who You Are There were many times when I was able to grow and learn more. Because I had to figure things out, I gained many more skills and talents. You're going to start to see new parts of yourself, and others will as well. Some people said to me, "Wow, I didn't know you were funny." Right? Because a lot of the content I put out there is very practical, or my stories, or it's vulnerable, or it's very level-headed. So you don't get to see that funny side. But that came out of my stand-up, and that's going to come out more in my one-woman show. 2. You Build Confidence in a Different Way Even though you don't feel super confident about these new things, you're going to be able to pull in some talents and skills you already have, and build your confidence in a different way. I've already been on stage. I've already spoken to an audience. I've already put on shows, keynotes, workshops, and events. I've already filled the room in my own way. But theatre is very different, and so this is me stretching and growing in a different way. 3. You Learn Things You Never Would Have Learned Otherwise You get to learn new things that you wouldn’t have had the chance to know. For example, I had to Google what a stage manager does. I'm getting paired up with a dramaturge. I didn't even know what that person did, so I had to Google it. I'm doing a lot of searching for answers, and it's quite interesting. I'm in the growth stage of it. 4. You Become Someone You Wouldn't Have Become You’ll meet more people because of this. More doors and opportunities will open for you. Not to say that you need to go write your own show, but by saying yes to your own opportunity or the thing that's calling you, that would be enough to open new doors. 5. You Model for Others
All of this comes simply from saying yes to something that calls you forward. You Don't Need to Know Where It All Leads I started Dynamic Women® as a single event and planned to have one group. People kept coming and saying, "I want you to start another group in my city. Can I give you a location?" Even though you want to be clear about the outcome when you start, you don't need to know the outcome to get started. Instead, we ask:
We get into the weeds, put obstacles in our path, and block ourselves. But the doors, the opportunities, and the different things start to show themselves as you say yes and get going. Not everything you do needs to become a business, a product, a success story. You just need to try it. It doesn't have to be a strategic move. It doesn't need to be a long-term commitment. Just go for it! I've been very lucky that my desire for different things brought success. Dynamic Women® was probably a decade of success. From doing stand-up, I didn't become a paid comic. The most I got paid for a show was $22 (basically my gas money to get there). While I'm not going to be a comic, I love bringing humour into my keynotes and humour into my workshops. But sometimes it's just about the expression of it. I still had tons of fun. It's the growth piece. It's an exploration of what else is possible. You're allowed to start something and to follow something without even knowing what the outcome would be. What's Calling You?
 I encourage you to stop overthinking it. Just take one small step towards it. One small step doesn't have to be major. For me, with stand-up, yes, my first step was to sign up for a class. But it could just be watching a stand-up comedy show. That might be the first small step. What would saying yes, in your case, be? What would that first small step be? If something keeps calling you, just saying yes is way more powerful than overthinking it. You Don't Need Permission
People ask me, "Why are you doing this one-woman show?" I don't know, because I want to. "What was the main reason for it?" I don't know. I just felt a desire. You don't need a reason that makes sense for everyone else. You just need enough to say yes for you. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is to just say yes to something that keeps calling you. Saying yes is enough to get started. Don't Let It Sit There I'm really curious about what you feel is calling you. I don't want it to sit there. I've talked with someone whose wife is a nurse, and she said she had the privilege of sitting with many people in their final days, and they would talk about all the cool things they wanted to do but never did. I would hate for that to be the case with you. If you're thinking, "Wow, I do have something, Diane. I do have a great idea. I do have something that's been calling me, and I want more support to make this happen," then reach out: [email protected]. I'd be happy to coach you through that. P.S. I have an upcoming event called The Wealth Shift. It’s for high-achieving women who are ready to stop working harder for every dollar and start building a sustainable, supported income. There are several upcoming dates this April for in-person and online. Save your spot here. Until next time, say yes and stay dynamic!
Most relationships just happen by default, and we assume they'll work out. But relationships shape our energy, our happiness, and our growth. If you want to design your relationships intentionally, keep reading.  Most Relationships Are Built by Default Think of the people in your life:
We just become friends with the people around us. This came up with one of my clients recently. She's been with a friend for over 18 years, and they continue the friendship simply because it's always been there. Over time, she's realized this relationship has changed. My client is levelling up who she is as a person, but the friend has stayed in the same place with some negative habits. You don't have to stay in the same friendships. I also don't think you need to just cut people out because it's not the type of friendship you want. There is an opportunity to design relationships; otherwise, they will stay the same. We never pause to rethink them or design what is ideal for that friendship. In business relationships, you talk things through about who's going to do what roles. You have roles and responsibilities, KPIs (key performance indicators) on those roles, and everyone knows what they're supposed to be doing. But in friendships, especially, it's not always clear-cut. Also, in parenting, it's not always clear-cut how you show up as parents, as partners in the marriage, and with your children. Designing relationships doesn't mean controlling the other person. It doesn't mean that saying how you want things to be means they'll be that way. It's just how can you intentionally choose the right type of relationship and grow and evolve the ones you currently have? This comes from my coaching work around designing the alliance, designing how the coach and client are going to work together, and we can take that and move that professionally into every area of life. What Can You Design? Here are things really in your control: 1. The Type of Connection You Want Do you want them to be really close to you, or further out? If we look at the circles of closeness and how they are with you: Is it deep or shallow friendship? Is it a best friend, a close friend, or just an acquaintance?  2. The Energy You Bring Is there lots of energy or not so much energy in the friendship? Is it a one-on-one type of energy? Is it group energy? 3. The Time You Invest Is this a friend you're going to make a habit of calling, spending weekends with, sometimes even a weekend away? Maybe you go for coffee or walks, hang out. How much time are you going to give to the friendship? 4. The Boundaries You Set Is your boundary around who's making all the plans? Is the boundary around how much time you're going to have together, or what you do together? 5. Expectations Around How You Communicate Maybe you want quick texts because you're both really busy. Or in another friendship, maybe you don't want it to be just texts. You want to be able to get on the phone and actually talk with them. The Five People You Spend the Most Time With Jim Rohn says you are the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with. If you look at the five people you spend a lot of time with, those relationships and those people are forming you and who you are. After knowing you become who you spend time with, you will probably want to start:
We have different seasons of life. Maybe at some points you have to bring your kids or your pet. Maybe other times you need to meet earlier in the day rather than later, or it has to be just a phone call rather than actually meeting. Redesigning a Friendship I have a friend who was in a different stage of life. I asked her, "If we were to redesign our friendship, what would you want it to be like?" She said, "Well, I feel like I'm always the one calling you and I'm always the one inviting you out." I said, "You're right, and I can see how that would be hurtful or that you'd want to be invited out." The reality was I had two children under four at the time, and she had a nine-to-five job, no children, no partner. I had a husband, two kids under four, and I was working my business for multiple hours a day because I was caring for the children. I said to her, "Yeah, I'm really sorry for that, but I'm just in a stage of my life right now where that's all I can do. If you call me and ask, I'm almost always gonna say yes. I'm just in a period right now where I can't always be thinking, organizing, and making my way out to see you. It's just the season I'm in."  She totally understood that, but I made more of an effort to reach out and care for her. Healthy relationships don't happen by accident. They rarely do. Instead, it's about seeking them out and shaping them into what we want them to be. Different Relationships Need Different Designs Not every relationship plays the same role in your life:
A Family Example A client of mine was taking her daughter's dog almost every weekend. She had just retired, and it seemed her free time was taken up by dog-sitting. She had to say no to plans with her own friends because she had her daughter's dog. She realized her daughter only called her when she needed help with something. The mom was feeling like, "You don't care about our relationship. You don't care about me, because I'm just here to do things for you." Once she shared her feelings with her daughter, she also shared, "You know, I'd love to be able to do things with you and be called to be someone that you confide in or can cheer you on, rather than someone who can do something for you." That relationship improved once she set that expectation. There was a bit of push and shove in the beginning. The daughter was not happy because she had to find another dog sitter. But that really deepened their friendship as mother and daughter, because the mother wasn't resentful of having to take care of the dog, and the daughter now benefited from having the mom in this different role. One design does not fit every person or every relationship. You need to think about how that works for you. Small Ways to Start Designing Relationships 1. Be Intentional About Who You Spend Time With Look at your schedule. Are your friends on there? Are your important relationships on there? Your spouse, your parents, siblings, children are they on there? Schedule the connection instead of just assuming it will happen. I reached out to three women from my church and said, "You know, I really would like for us to get together again." We used to be in a women's Bible study group, but for different reasons, we've been pulled out of that. We said, "Yeah, let's get together once a month, the four of us to have that friendship time." 2. Express Appreciation More Often Share how you feel and how you enjoyed your time together. Often, when I am with friends or after we meet, I would say, "Wow, it was so great to be together. Thank you so much. I really enjoyed this. Let's do it again." Then scheduled the next time. 3. Communicate Your Expectations Clearly I recently had a friend who is now living across the world. She said to me, "Hey, I want to connect with you more." I said, "Yeah, I've been trying to schedule a Zoom with you." She said, "Well, with the time difference, it's so hard. If we could just talk more by messages back and forth, I'd love to hear your voice." She was very clear about how she wanted to communicate with each other. 4. Set Boundaries That Protect the Relationships You do not want to be resentful of the other person or feel like you're being taken advantage of. With a friend or a relationship you want to expand and get better:
Really, small intentions can strengthen relationships. It can be other things, like little texts that you're thinking of them. Every Friday morning, a friend's husband sends a quote and a little message to all his friends, and then spends the next three or four hours replying to what they send back. That's how he is intentionally evolving those relationships and caring for those friends. Relationships Naturally Evolve Sadly or excitingly, relationships do naturally evolve. People grow, and life changes. I had a best friend at my work. We were working together on a volunteer opportunity. So we spent quite a bit of time together, and our friendship grew a lot. She was even my maid of honour at my wedding. Over time, I got married, had kids, and she was always so supportive, always there, such a great friend. She was living downtown and enjoying the nightlife with friends, and I couldn't go. But we still made it a point to be friends in each other's lives, and the relationship has continued. Some relationships deepen, some shift, and some naturally fade. But we've both been really adamant that we do not want this friendship to die. When she moved away, we started a weekly morning call as she drove to work, just to check in and chat. While we are at different stages of our lives (she's working a job, I have a business; she has a partner, I have a husband; I have two kids, and previously she had dogs), this friendship really matters. Now that the driving thing doesn't happen for her (she's moved again), we are making a point of getting together when she's in town for dinners, going to the spa together, and even having a girls' getaway every once in a while. While that friendship has changed over time, it's still important to me. Sometimes we have to realize that a relationship has served its purpose in a certain season, or we need to design relationships so they can evolve instead. My 50 Before 50 Challenge I hope this has you thinking about how you can now put some time and energy into evolving friendships. I've created this kind of funny goal for myself. I feel almost embarrassed sharing it, but I'm 46 (I'll be turning 47 in September), and my goal for my 50th birthday is to be able to invite 50 good friends. So my 50 before 50 challenge has started, where I am intentionally building relationships with 50 different people. Final Thoughts My hope for you is that you have a really strong group of people around you. When you think of you're the average or the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with, those are solid people that you are intentionally choosing in your life and designing that relationship to be ideal. Just like we design our goals, our business, and our plans, we can also design the relationships in our lives that support us, who we want to be and how we want to live. Maybe it's time to send this to a friend of yours with whom you'd like to redesign the friendship. It doesn't mean there's a problem and you need to redesign. It is an opportunity. Until next time, stay dynamic!
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