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My goal with this series is to give you clarity before you have to make decisions (last week’s blog), make decision-making easier in the moment (this blog), and after you make the decision you will stay strong and confident in it (next week).  In the Moment of Making a Decision When you are in that moment of decision-making, you’re probably asking yourself…
I've got you covered with these three questions. Even if you haven't done the “In advance” work from the last blog of having that ideal life designed, your life purpose and knowing your goals, you can still use these three techniques. 1. How do you feel? If someone asks you…
Or you have to make a decision on whether to apply for a certain job… you have to ask yourself…
It's either going to be a strong, “Yes” or “meh”. A lot of times if it's a strong “Yes”, I say go for it. This is definitely in alignment with what you're wanting. But if you get an email, and you're like, “Man, I don't know…” A lot of times that “meh feeling” means you're not really excited about it, so your decision is probably a no. Now, this is not to be confused with that feeling of “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous. I don't think I can do this. That's out of my comfort zone.” That's a very different feeling. That's like anxiety, worry or a little fear about “Can I do this?” Which is based on your limiting beliefs. Not every decision is a clear “yes” or “no”. Instead, there could be two or more options. It could be a fun decision, for example, “Should we go to Bali or Egypt for our trip?” Or something more permanent, it could be, “Do I want to have another child or not? We've got a couple of children, and our life is really in a good place, but now's the time to make a decision if we have another one”. It might be a decision of, “Do we move to this new place because we can have a slower lifestyle or do we stay here because this is where the work is?” You might have two options that are really good, but it's going to change your life. So this is where we go to the next two techniques. 2. Connecting to your values This is an activity you would do with a coach. It’s one I take clients through and they get a lot of insight from it. Knowing what your values are and being able to connect to your values in decision-making is so powerful. Because when you look at your values and you ask yourself, “Does this decision put me in alignment with my values?” and that's the case, then you're going to have more energy or a more soul-connected feeling that it’s the right decision.  But if you look at your values and that decision is going to have you dishonor your values, then it's going to be pretty obvious that the decision is a no. Let's look at one of the decisions that you could make in life. It could be to take on a project or take on a new role in a company. After some further discussion, you realize the company cares more about the bottom line than it does its customers. You've heard and read on the internet about times where the company has really screwed over the customer or client in order to take more profit. If your value is respect for others or fairness, then you see that in working with this company (especially if that would be part of your role) would mean you would strongly be going against your values. That would be so horrible. You'd be in dissonance (void of energy, or negative)most of your job. It's easy in that case to see “Wow, I don't want to take this role because it would be going against my values.” This can also help you in choosing a relationship like a partnership, employee, collaboration, etc. When you look at your values and their values, you have to make sure they're in alignment. Because you saying “Yes” to an opportunity, might stop you from being able to honor your own values. If you are very strong in your values with leadership or creativity and you know that in this new project you're not going to be able to do either of those then it might be better to say no. If it’s short-term, you could be OK with it, but if it’s going to go on for years, then it’s not going to be a good fit for you. 3. Take the decision and cross-check it with your goals You can ask yourself a very simple question: Does this move me toward my goals or away from my goals? I've had clients come to me with a really amazing opportunity. For example, to have a radio show. If they came to me with that type of opportunity, then I'd ask them…
If the answer is “Yes” and you gave a reason like…
 Then it could be a great opportunity for you. But if your goal this year is to write a book, or to spend more time with your family, or focus on your health, and this was just going to be one more thing on your plate, then it's not going to move you towards your goals so it should be a no. Next year, it might be a great choice because your goals have changed. But for right now you have to check any decision-making against your current goals. I often have to go back to my goals when I'm presented with a fabulous opportunity or one that I feel like, “Oh, I've got some obligation here. I should probably do it.” When I go to my goals and I know what I'm trying to accomplish and the amount of time energy and money I need to do it, it helps me to respond with, “As amazing as it is, I have to say ‘No’ because I need to say ‘Yes’ to my current goals.” Those are the three things that you can do in the moment of making decisions. In my next blog, I will share with you what you can do AFTER you make the decision so you can stay strong and confident in it. P.S. Get your FREE copy of my ebook “Key 2 Success” so you can stop facing 3 dangerous trends that keep professional women overworked, overwhelmed, and pulled in a million directions.
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A woman in my Dynamic Women Global Community asked me, “How do I become stronger in decision-making?” I love giving straightforward, tangible actions to questions from my clients and community. So over the next three blogs, I will share with you a 3-phase process to making great decisions.
 The troubles that come from not being strong in decision-making When you’re not strong in decision-making or you don’t feel like you’re making really good decisions, it can cause a state of worry, anxiety, procrastination, and perfectionism. If you don’t make a decision…
 If you don't have the tools or the skill set to make strong decisions, then you're going to avoid them. You might make the wrong decision out of fear. You won't go for the opportunity that is more exciting, which could also feel riskier. Instead, you…
What You Can do Now in Advance of Making Any Decision 1. Make a Life Plan It's really important to design your life. If we were putting together a business, we'd have a business plan, but so many people don't have a LIFE plan. That's the sad part because if you are not going to design your life how you ideally want it to be (not just based on reality), then you can end up making decisions according to what other people want… other people's agendas… other people's desires. Looking at the Wheel of Life helps (this is a professional coaching tool I use with my clients). We look at all 10 areas and go through them to see, Where are you now? Then, Where do you want to be? When you know your life plan, when that's super clear, it's so much easier to make decisions because you're going to compare it to what the ideal vision is and you’ll ask yourself, “How do I want my life to be and is this going to affect it?” 2. Be clear about your life purpose I do an activity around getting your life purpose statement. What I found in clients is when they know what their life purpose statement is, it helps them to make decisions because they know the path they're on. It's more obvious which decisions will take them away from that purpose, so they can choose wisely. 3. Know your current goals When you know what you want your ideal life to be and what your life purpose is, it’s much easier to create your goals. Then when you have your goals front and center, you will make decisions based on achieving those goals and it’ll be easier to stay in alignment with them.  If you do end up having to make a decision that takes you away from your goals, then you’ll have clarity on what you are saying yes to and can make a plan to adjust your current goals or create space to add in another one. When you have these three things, you will have a strong foundation to be able to not only make a decision but then to go after it with more confidence and more focus. Stay tuned for the next 2 blogs in this series where I will share what to do in the moment of making the decision so it’s easier and after it to stay strong and confident in your decision. If you have any questions, just send me an email diane@dianerolston.com.
No one has time to be sick, including me. I got COVID last February. I had an intense cough, body chills, body aches, and headache that I just could not break. In this blog, I will share with you five things that I know through the coaching world that can really help you in times when you're sick, have an injury, even when you're having emotional struggles or there’s a tragedy that's going on in your life.  (Full transparency: I'm sure you already know this, I am not a doctor. This is not official medical advice.) These are lessons that I learned along the way and things I'm quite proud of myself for actually putting into place when normally my default would have kept me working and not recovering quickly. 1. Be self-aware. Listen to how you're feeling. This is going to help you to be able to know when you’re mentally, physically, emotionally not well, or if you are getting sick in another way. It's going to help you catch it a lot sooner. On my COVID journey, I first had a cough I felt was not normal. I knew I needed to deal with it and figure out what it is. Listen to yourself, not just in the beginning, but all the way through whatever is happening to you. Then you can make better choices. You'll be able to make choices to not push yourself. I had to make a tough decision to cancel a whole week of clients. Day 3 was the hardest because it was the start of my Dynamic Year Program and I really wanted to do it. I was thinking, how can I do this? Maybe instead of a two-hour session, I could do a one hour session. Could I record something and send it? In the end, I thought: What am I doing? Why am I asking myself, “How can I make this happen?” I need to just rest! I know what the answer was… It’s because my values of commitment are so strong. I thought I can still make this work, but to what damage? How tired would I be that day? Are my clients getting the best of me? Are they getting me as their most amazing coach or are they getting the sick me that's just trying to throw things together? When you're self-aware, you can really check in with…
Not, how can I still live up to all of my commitments and responsibilities right now? That's not the question. When you are sick or you're going through hard times, think about how YOU are doing and give yourself what YOU need. 2. Say ‘Yes’ to help. You may be thinking, “I was sick before and no one helped me. I don’t need the help.” But the key to this is letting other people know you're sick and just how bad you are. This is not to say you go on social media and say, “I'm very sick, people. Come and help me.” But let those close to you know, like neighbors, family and friends. For me, I also let my women’s church group know. Then when they offer help, say “Yes”. They may offer something physical. They might just tell you they're going to do it. Like I had some lovely people say,
Sometimes it's easier to receive when people just do it. But if they say, “Can I pick anything up for you? Can I get you anything?” Answer “YES!” I've had someone pick up a couple of things I needed, and when she asked I felt comfortable saying ‘Yes.’ She got me some vitamins and some other things I really needed like groceries. That was just so helpful because at the time, I didn't even feel like getting up to go get more water or to go to the bathroom. So say ‘Yes’ to these people. Give them the ability to support you because you would probably support them (or maybe you already have), so why not give them the chance to reciprocate back to you. I was also lucky to have a girl from my soccer team tell me she was going to chop up some vegetables and get some chicken and some broth and bring it so it’d be easy for me to make soup. I really appreciated that. My kids normally walk together, but because my daughter had band practice before school, my son had to go to school about 50 minutes later. I was so worried, How am I going to get them there? I cannot function. I cannot get in the car and drive them. I can't walk them, what do I do? I reached out to my neighbors to ask if they would bring my kids to school. To have them help was just so wonderful. Also, have others pick up the slack for you. This might mean delegating something that you normally do. Pass off work to team members and chores to family. For the most part, my husband was not sick in the beginning. So I thought, “No, it's okay, he can do these things instead of friends.” But he has to take care of other jobs and take care of me. I'm glad I said ‘Yes’ because he had his own things going on. You have to ask yourself, “Is my head is above water?” If Yes, how long will it be because as soon as my husband and my kids started getting sick, I actually had to step into the nurse role, which is often the case for moms so I didn't really get to rest fully. 3. Up your nutritional intake. You know if you put good food in you, you're going to heal a lot faster. So those soups and other clean foods are a great idea. But also think about supplements, vitamins, tinctures, teas, even IV drips, whatever it is. For my vitamin C, I tripled it. But instead of taking it all at the same time, I took it throughout the day - morning, lunch, dinner.  Also taking way more vitamin D than I normally take. As well as listening to others and their approach to getting healthier. I heard that Selenium and elderberry gummies are good. Don’t be afraid to ask friends to drop off more vitamins, supplements, fruits, vegetables, clean food and to even have them prepare it. If that means you pay them for it, or they just make it out of the goodness of their heart, that's fine. I had someone say she’s going to Costco and asked if I needed anything. I gave her a full list because I knew that that would get me through many days of not having to go to the grocery store. I really, really appreciated that. The next two items my Naturopath reminded me to do and I was a bit annoyed to have to do them. 4. Prioritize your health. Now, this one is super hard for me. In the beginning of being sick, it was easy because I couldn't do anything. I was just lying there. I couldn't read. I couldn't get my head around things. I did not go into the office at all. I just canceled everything and prioritized myself. If I want to get healthier and recover, I have to prioritize my health. It sounds obvious, right? But I thought I could play soccer. My Naturopath said, “No, Diane, you should wait two to three weeks.” I was asking, “Well, is it just the cardio piece of it? What if I was just to play a little bit? Or what if I was just going for light runs or just do pilates?” She said, “No, you shouldn't. You shouldn't do any of it for another couple of weeks at least. Then ease back into pilates and some walks. Bring soccer back last” It was so frustrating because I've spent so much time being injured that I'm finally back into soccer. I'd be missing a whole lot more games, which was really hard for me because commitment is such a huge value of mine. Also, I just wanted to play since I was injury-free. But to give up soccer, pilates and hiking and these things that I just physically could start doing was so frustrating. I just felt gutted. I had to say no to things I love. Things that I had already prioritized. Things that I committed to. That's what was really, really hard. But at that moment, I needed to prioritize myself and my health. That's the same for you. So I said ‘Yes’ to working a light schedule. I said ‘Yes’ to pushing off some of the things that didn't have to be done right away and I did my best to prioritize my health. Sometimes you need to hear it from a doctor so you don't make the decision for yourself and someone else steps in and advocates for you.  All of these four really come down to the last one. 5. Rest. Rest is so important. You might be thinking you can rest at night or take a nap in the day. That's great. But are you getting enough rest entirely throughout the day? OR Did you just jump back into your schedule 100% ? That's not easing back in. That's making it really hard for yourself. While you may think, “It's okay I can do it.” You may be getting through it, but at what cost? Sleep is crucial. When I had COVID, there were nights when my sleep sucked. I kept waking myself up coughing. My problem is I like achieving and so even when I’m sick, I want to listen to a podcast, read a book, and move myself forward. What if achieving was, how good can you get it resting? How good can you get at being kind to yourself? I hope you can avoid getting COVID. You may have had it already. No matter what, at some point, you're going to get sick or you're going to hurt yourself or you're going to need a mental health day. You're going to have a tragedy or something and so remember these five things:
Now again, I'm not a doctor. But what I have found from personal use of these as well as talking with clients is that we push ourselves so much that we don't always let ourselves just be present and be in flow. Care for yourself, because really, you are the most important person in your life. You are worthy of being cared for not only by yourself, but by others. If you want to chat about being overwhelmed or having a hard time doing these steps, contact me at diane@dianerolston.com and let’s see how I can help you to move forward. Read my other blogs here:
Have things felt a little bit crazy for you? Are you going through a hard time? Well, you're not alone. It’s been more than two years since the pandemic started, and it’s unclear if it will ever end.  I was honored to be invited to put my story in for 100 Empowered Voices: Stories of COVID-19 Lockdown, volume 3, which was published in the UK. It's compiled by Carol Azams. In this blog, I will share with you the five ways I kept my business and life going during the pandemic that I shared in the book. If you feel that life's a bit crazy right now and has been since 2020, you're not alone! When the pandemic hit, I was on the other side of Canada and had a whole week of business scheduled. I had to cancel it all. On and on, the pandemic has continued, with no in-person events, mastermind discussions, and programs. As a specialized coach of female business leaders, community and connection are crucial to my work; COVID restrictions and lockdowns changed it all. I needed to find a new way forward. As difficult as it has been in business. In 2020, the fabric of our family was torn apart suddenly by the death of my father. I was unanchored, struggling personally with the loss, and heartbroken seeing my mother without her husband. The loss compounded as my children continued at home without the daily structure of school and friends. Life felt overwhelming. I can't lie; there were dark moments, but I knew I needed to rise and change things, not only for myself but for my family and my business. I love what I do, and it fuels me. This fuel allowed me to create strategies to help me through the pandemic-related business upheaval and create space to allow myself and my family to heal. I employed five strategies that allowed me to protect my mental health and stay on track, enabling me to create a new business success model. It is these five ways that I want to share with you. It's important to note this can be used at any time. Anytime there is some struggle or obstacle or a consistent strain in your life, you can come back to these five ways even if it's a small thing that's happening in your life. These five different ways will really help you to move forward and to make life easier. 1. Change your perspective As a coach, I know perspective is vital. Instead of feeling stuck, we can look to our point of view, and if it’s not supporting, helping, or keeping us in a positive frame of mind, we can change it. COVID created the opportunity of a perspective shift from: "I’m restricted! I have to stay at my home.” To, “I now have time to get caught up and enjoy my passions." To go from "I can't do business like I was. It’s going to be so much work." To, “Here is an opportunity to streamline things and do less travelling.” Ask yourself, what’s your current view of your situation? What are some new perspectives you could have? Try them on; new perspectives shift you from being a victim of your circumstance to step into more positive energy and resourcefulness. 2. Look inward. Don’t look to outward things to calm yourself and to make you feel good. Instead, we need to go inward into ourselves and reflect on what we need right now. Do you need meditation? Prayer? Sleep or reading? Maybe you want to spend time with yourself and your passions. Look inward to see what you need because that's where you can feel fulfilled and recharged. Focusing on yourself will build your inner strength. I slowed down, joined Grief Share at my church, took naps and went on hikes. Going inward is going to develop your emotional stamina and increase your emotional and energy bandwidth.  3. Show gratitude. Negativity doesn't serve anyone. We all know those people who complain about the weather today and something else tomorrow. All this attitude does is welcome more negativity and more stress into your life. You’re doing yourself a disservice by focusing on the negatives. I faced ongoing business challenges throughout the pandemic, including my Facebook account being permanently disabled; consequently, I lost 15 years of friendships, photos and some of my business pages and groups. I did not let it stop me. I showed up in gratitude, sharing my first-hand experience and instructing others how to protect their Facebook profiles, groups, and pages by doing a two-part blog series in addition to an episode on my Dynamic Women Podcast. Was I ticked? Of course! But staying focused on that didn't help me to get my Facebook page back. I also lost all of my Facebook ads. I looked at it as a chance to start fresh and to only add back in friends and connections that add value to my life. (Side note, if I didn’t add you back it could just be that I haven’t found out you were missing yet.) 4. Focus on systems. You might be feeling overwhelmed, talking about your problems, and concentrating on the challenges that are happening in your business. You're focusing too much on what’s wrong. When in fact, you should be focusing on how to fix it with your systems. When we focus on what's wrong, we are not seeking to understand how to improve it. For systems, I’m referring to step-by-step processes combined to tell you how you will do something. I spent time looking at how I was running my life and business. Our family embraced positive habits and routines. I brought in two Virtual Assistants and started to hone the systems and processes we used while also delegating and empowering more. We can move forward more easily when we run on consistent, repeatable actions and procedures.  5. Get creative. COVID has been challenging. It is hard to take the blinders off when we are feeling stress. Yet, we can move forward by putting our energy into being creative. For example, perhaps you can get creative in cooking or making sales and shift the lens in approaching challenges. I got creative with the in-person Confidence Summit. I moved it to an online platform and brought in the Confidence Fast Start Online Course and Experience box that I shipped to attendee’s homes. It became a new creative experience. I knew we all needed to connect and feel part of a community. It was a huge success and expanded my coaching practice. Now I ask you, which of these five strategies will you implement into your life and business? Reach out to me and share your response. Even if you can only pick one right now, imagine how much better your life would be! I could have chosen to be unmotivated and spiral down from the events of Covid time, but I decided on taking action with these strategies. So can you. If you need more support with some coaching to take action, reach out to me. Let's have a chat to see what your needs are and how I can help you to reach your goals faster.
In my last blog, I shared with you a story of where I judged myself. I also let you know about the four reasons why you might judge yourself, too.  Now I’ll share how you can stop judging yourself, but first another story… I was a very avid rugby player until I was 29 when I tore my ACL. Back in my glory days, I played for my city in a highly competitive league, and I also played varsity rugby for my university. I remember when we got into the championship final with my Brantford Harlequins team. We had to travel 1.5 hours to Niagara Falls and play the top ranked team. They are from a larger city, so they have a larger pool of girls to choose their team from. Us, on the other hand, were begging people to just show up and play. Playing short… playing in the heat… playing the top team… We were definitely like a David and Goliath situation. We dug deep. We had trained all season to be in the best shape of our lives. What it really came down to in the end was we needed one more try to win. During the game, I kicked a bunch of points through the posts. That was one of my roles on the team. In the end, I scored the final try - kind of like a touchdown in football. We knew we had the win. There wasn't enough time for the other team to be able to come back and score. The final thing to do to kill the time was for me to kick it through the posts. Because I had scored a good try right between the posts, I was able to set up right in front and it was super easy. But for some reason, I MISSED. I missed the easiest kick ever! I was so embarrassed. Everyone was watching me. Everyone saw how terrible that kick was. We ended the game without the points. But… We still won. It didn't matter at all. Thanks to me, the points I'd kicked before, and that try I just scored. We won the championship! I should have been happy. We came back. We had our David and Goliath moment. We won. Yet, I started crying because I missed the kick. I was judging myself so hard. My self-worth was at its lowest. My teammates were consoling me and reminding me that I helped win the game and that it was my try that won the game. SOOOO me missing that kick didn’t matter. I can still see the championship team photo. The girls jumping and holding up the number 1 finger. Then me standing there with other girls’ arms around me and my face in sadness. I couldn’t enjoy the win because I was judging myself. Now ask yourself:
I'm super passionate about this because I see this in my clients and I've suffered from it. I still have to keep myself in check because there are different areas of life where I judge myself. It makes me sad because I see what my clients are missing out on in their lives because they judge themselves so harshly.  We always feel we can be better, and so we're always striving. That means we fill up every moment of every day constantly trying to be better. That we're joining this or joining that or reading this or listening to that. It's tiring. It's overwhelming. What if we loved and acknowledged who we are today? I realized we have a day to honor our love for our partner, but we don't really have a day to love ourselves. So what do you love about yourself?
When was the last time you actually wrote down what you love about yourself? Never or can’t remember? How about today?  When are you going to love yourself? And what do you currently love about yourself? Not just what you loved about yourself before because then we might get into judgment about how you're not that anymore. I mentioned in my last blog that we’re not giving ourselves grace for mistakes. I was probably the worst at that. It stopped me from being in the present because I was judging myself in the moment. Now, I'm just okay with what is. I give myself grace because I'm not perfect. I now have more of a growth mindset, knowing that every time I do something, I will grow. Every time I do something, especially when it's new, I'll make a ton of mistakes. Four steps that you can do to stop judging yourself First thing you can do is review past accomplishments and let disappointments go. I do this in the Dynamic Year Program. Reviewing past accomplishments is just stage one of the program. It's very simple, three stages, but so powerful. By reviewing past accomplishments, we can see all the good we have done. One of the years I did this with two other coaches because I make sure that I go through the process as well, every single year. I said, “I don't think I accomplished that much last year.” The ladies laughed, and said, “You're missing one major thing. You had a baby.” I'm like, “Yeah, but that was gonna happen anyway.” I diminished the fact that I grew a human being in my body and then delivered that baby and nursed that baby and kept that baby alive while still running my business. I diminished all that. That was nothing. That was gonna happen anyway. But when I review my past accomplishments in Dynamic Year, and then let my disappointments go, I get motivation from those accomplishments. I get the “I am amazing feeling”. I get to boost my “I am enough” confidence and in letting disappointments go and grabbing the wisdom from them, it’s so amazing to be able to rid yourself of the negative looping that happens in your brain, “I shoulda, coulda, woulda done that better.” The second thing is to unfollow or reduce notifications from people who trigger you. If you're on social media and it just annoys you to see someone achieving so much it might be good to get some coaching on that, first of all, to see what it is about them that you really wish you had or could be. But if you're working on your own journey of self-love, then maybe it's time to unfollow them, reduce the notifications sent from them, at least for a little while. Take a break for a week. Take a break for a month, and then get the underlying reason for it. If you are experiencing this, then I encourage you to email me diane@dianerolston.com so that we can have a coaching conversation on this. The third thing is to practice daily self-acknowledgement. I have created the Dynamic Year Journal. It's nothing you've ever seen before. It has the ability to boost your confidence. You’ll be able to bring in your accomplishments and grab the learning from them so you can see, “Wow, look at all the awesome things I've done” and celebrate them. If you want one of the Dynamic Year Journals, you can get them on Amazon. Or if you're close to me, I live in North Vancouver, BC Canada then you can come grab one. The fourth thing is to surround yourself with women who will be your fans. Women who will cheer for you. Women who will support you when things are hard or when you're really at a low point. Women who will hold up the mirror to you to remind you of how awesome you are. Now in the She's Goaled Program, there is that opportunity to have not only me be your support, me to bring you up, but also to be with other female business leaders who can really be on this journey with you. To give you a little pep talk when you're down on yourself and to really hold you up high. So many times in my life, being in a mastermind with other women, having them believe in me more than I believed in myself has been crucial for my success. I've had so many moments of doubting myself and judging myself, and to have them reflect back to me, who I truly am, has helped me to strive for more… has helped me to really step fully into the person I was meant to be. As I wrap up here, just want to say, I really hope you find time every day to love yourself. That you catch when you're judging yourself and you turn it around and stop your saboteur in its tracks because I know there are great things meant for you, but it first starts with loving yourself. P.S. Get your free copy of the Balanced Leader Cheat Sheet so you can create a more balanced life.
Do you judge yourself or have you seen someone you love to judge themselves? Every woman needs to stop judging themselves. Women can be so good at judging themselves in these ways:
 The worst part is we never have enough appreciation for ourselves, and we don't celebrate who we are. I judged myself… Let me first tell you a story of where the judging of myself came to just the ultimate low point. I was taking a five-day program, and it was all about how to be a fantastic presenter, a great speaker, and really polishing our skills so that we could present our material. Before I got there I thought… “I got this in the bag. I'm going to do well at this.” I love speaking and I love perfecting this as a craft. A couple days in I'm put in a group with four other people. We all have to present on a topic that is not any of our expertise. We also have to put the material together, and then present it to the group. When we went to present, one of the people in our group was feeling sick. I ended up taking on their piece as well. As we went through our presentation, I ended up telling a story about my grandmother and started crying. Not just a regular cry, but a full-blown ugly cry. Now, I didn't know I was gonna cry. It just kind of came up. Because of the tears and trying to rein in my emotions, I ended up talking longer than I should have and took some of the next speaker’s time. So as I was speaking I started judging myself:
The whole point of this presentation was to get feedback from the two instructors, and I really respected them. They're amazing presenters. They speak to tens of 1000s of people. I really valued their opinion. So when we were done, each presenter would get feedback so we could improve. Even though I went into it thinking, “Okay, I'm going to do well” I completely flopped on my face, so I had a long list of all the things I did wrong that I knew they were going to come at me for. I totally was judging myself and I felt everyone else was too! The audience and my team members! They went to the next person and gave them feedback on how they can improve. Then they went to the next person, gave them feedback and were pretty brutally honest. They started with the first person, gave them feedback and they kind of ripped into them a little bit. When they got to me, I was so nervous as to what they would say. Probably confirming everything I was judging myself for. The first thing the guy said was, “You are one of the top five people we've ever seen.” At that moment, I started crying again. The woman said, “Did you not hear what he said? He is not usually the one to praise, but he said you're in the top five he's ever seen.” I was so shocked. “Oh, I'm crying because I have a whole list of 10 to 20 things I did wrong… that I could have done better… that I'm embarrassed about… that I feel guilty about… that I'm judging myself on.” What she said next shocked me. She said, “Diane, I wanted to see more of you.” I replied, “But I took other people's time. I was out there too long.” “Did you hear what I said, Diane? I wanted to see more of you.” Then I shared a very deep vulnerable feeling I had about her, “I didn't even think that you liked me.” All the other students were quiet. She said, “No, why would you ever say that?” “I don't know, I was thinking that… I was feeling that.” Now we did talk further on that topic (but I’ll keep her part confidential). The point is… look how bad I judged myself when others were seeing me in such a positive light. I was there to present… to be the expert and to be a better speaker, but because I was judging myself so much I didn't fully receive their praise. I had to spend some time really dissecting it. Letting their compliments go into every cell of my being. To remember… Here are two instructors… who train on how to be an amazing presenter, and they thought I was awesome. Why did I judge myself so much? Now I ask you, why do you judge yourself so much? Is this the reason? 1) It started when you were young… when you or those around you compared you to others. As a child, I was often compared to my brothers or compared to my classmates, or compared to the other kids on my soccer team. The comparison to others is what society does to us. It pits us against one another when really we should just be looking at ourselves and asking what do we love about ourselves? But instead, we compare ourselves to others, that's part of judgment that’s taught into us.  We might hear it from:
Who says to us:
So maybe that's where the self-judgment started. 2) You are a perfectionist… you’re always asking yourself, how can I be better? How can I do better? I often see perfectionism when I coach female business leaders because they are very driven, A-type and high achieving. They have a lot of goals and really push themselves to achieve them all. They’re always asking:
Just like my previous story, doing this can take the joy out of many experiences. It stops me from really loving and owning how far I've come in a specific task or situation. If it's the first time I’m doing something, if it's a time where I'm still a student, or I'm still learning, I don't acknowledge how far I've come because it's not perfect. There are ways I can be better. 3) You judge yourself against who you used to be. How have you been better in the past? Write the answers down. What do your saboteurs tell you to list? I’ll be honest… there are things about me that have changed… where I felt I was better before.
Maybe you're having these thoughts as well where you judge yourself against who you used to be.
Well, when you judge yourself, there are so many negatives that come out of it. Thinking… “I was better then. Why can't I be like that now?” is a hard place to be. 4) You have guilt when you do something for yourself. Guilt shows up when you want to go hang out with your friends, enjoy your hobbies, hit the gym and even when you just want to have a shower. It might not even be strictly for yourself. It might be going back to work and having the kids in daycare. Even if you’re making the decision because your family needs the income or so that your kids can have ballet lessons or clarinet lessons. You're doing it for the good of your family, but maybe you still feel guilty
 Instead, you may feel guilty because you're throwing in a frozen pizza and calling in for delivery. Even the idea of taking a day for yourself, a “Me day”, a day of no responsibility… the shame and the guilt of that, the judgment of “Who are you, to do that?” Then when they get a promotion or when they launch a product, the saboteurs, the limiting beliefs come in saying,
It's full of judgment. What if instead, we could be full of ourselves, love ourselves to the point that we appreciate ourselves… flaws and all. How about we we celebrate who we are? That's what I want to see happen in this world. Think of the space and energy you'll have to accomplish your vision and your dreams, and what you’re meant to do on this earth. Imagine a world full of women who love themselves so deeply, who celebrate themselves and don't judge themselves every moment of every day. So how do you get better at loving yourself? How do you put some steps in place so you can stop judging yourself? I've got four specific ones that I’ll share with you in my next blog. For now, be surrounded by women who will not judge you BUT will support you. Join our free online community Dynamic Women Global Community and meet female business leaders who come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired.
In my last blog, I shared with you three of the things that are stopping you from being organized in your life. Today, I will share with you the other two as well as the solutions you need! The Last 2 Things Stopping You from Being Organized in Your Life FOURTH: No plan or process to follow You have goals, right? You're feeling like, “I know what I want to achieve.” But then you don't have a process or a plan to follow. Being organized is having a system, a plan, or a process to follow. If you're disorganized and you don't have a plan or a process, then you're just grabbing at straws… you're doing whatever pops up in your mind. Which is often reactive and doesn’t give you a great result.  There's no timeline. There are no milestones. There's nothing helping you to make sure you stay on track so that by the end of the year, or by the end of a certain realistic amount of time you've completed the action… you've completed that goal. FIFTH: No accountability to reach your goals. You may have goals, then you may have a plan. But do you have the accountability to ensure you get there? The accountability to push you through the hard times? The accountability to help you to see the celebrations, to see the wins and help you celebrate them? Do you have accountability to know the right strategy to put in place? Do you have the accountability just for those check-ins, checking points, and milestones? You will be more organized when someone else is looking at what you're doing, or when you have to be accountable to someone else.  Now, why is this happening? Why are we feeling disorganized? Well, because we're busy. We are ambitious. There are lots of things that we want to do. But we need to have these things in place, right? Let’s recap.
To make it even easier… these 5 Solutions can be put all together in one to make you more organized and balanced. But did you know that the #1 desire I hear from my clients, friends and business colleagues is that everyone is searching for the elusive Balance! (You too?)Being Perfect in every area of our life is not possible. (I know I've tried!) And because they don’t have balance, they are burnt out, overwhelmed and feel like they’re on a hamster wheel.  Something will always be OFF Balance. AND being balanced is not the only goal. You also want to feel satisfied, have your success be accelerated and live a life around what YOU truly want. And I know how to make it easily possible... But first, what's the cause of this problem? The cause is women may have a business plan, but they don't have a LIFE plan. Specifically, they don't have a DYNAMIC LIFE BLUEPRINT. The Dynamic Life Blueprint has been extremely important for my success and the success of my clients. It’s a 3-Phase process so you have clarity on your foundation for balance and satisfaction, you’ll have confidence in your ideal vision for your business and your life, and you’ll get into action on your Dynamic Goals with clear focus, tools and techniques to ensure you have success. And when followed the results are phenomenal:
Bottom line… you need to know how to properly create it and then how to use it. I will show you both in Dynamic Success Accelerator. This program will help you increase your success, money, and happiness by having your Dynamic Life Blueprint. PLUS… There is new content and many free bonuses for you - like being in a book with me! Learn more about it here. Read my other blogs here:  Are you dealing with chaos, clutter and a feeling of lack of control? I asked the women in my Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook, “What challenging thing are you working through these days?” One of the responses was “I'm not organized in my life.”  I'm hearing that a lot recently from clients and from people in my community. Let me ask you, “Are you dealing with chaos, clutter, and feeling a lack of control?” I get it because you have a lot going on. You’re busy with:
But first, what does being organized mean? When I checked the Cambridge dictionary, it really comes into two areas: (1) Making arrangements for something to happen. That's a verb. These are some examples that they gave:
(2) To do or arrange something according to a particular system.
You can see how organization can be organizing a thing/an event, or it can be in how you put things together. For the woman who shared this in the group, I feel like she’s talking more about arranging her life, the processes in her home, office, etc. and then the processes and systems in her business. So as you read this you can think of those and also organizing areas like health, and personal development. When we're not organized, things fall through the cracks, right? You forget that you had a meeting, or you can't find a specific paper or item that you needed, and it was really important. A lot of times it comes down to one of two problems:
I'm going to leave organizing spaces out of the conversation today. Instead, I’ll focus on areas of your life and over two blogs, I’ll share with you the five things that are stopping you from being organized. FIRST: Trying to focus on everything
 When you try to focus on everything, it seems like nothing ever gets done. You might end up being busy, but not productive. That’s a stressful place. Plus, when you bounce between multiple projects, it’s hard to complete tasks and the time from start to finish just takes forever. It’s also difficult for your mind to be able to get back into it. Imagine, you were working on something, and then you left to work on something else. When you come back to it, you're going to be wasting time trying to figure out where to pick up where you left off. Aspects get missed. Steps in the process get missed. You can feel super disorganized. SECOND: You're honoring other people's agendas. A lot of times I hear from women that they're neglecting their health because they're honoring other people's agendas. There are just too many other things to do.
It’s ok to GIVE. But when do YOU, YOUR goals and YOUR agenda get to be at the top? I see female business leaders who are really struggling because they have so many other people's agendas ahead of their own. When you honor other people's agendas, you put yourself on the backburner. You end up at the bottom of your priority list. Naturally as a mom, wife, friend, and person who likes to serve, you put everyone ahead of yourself. You can then feel disorganized, even in what's going to be for dinner because you're busy serving others.  Are you honoring other people's agendas? Or is there enough time in your schedule where you're honoring your own agenda, your own goals, your own projects, your own desires, and hobbies and needs? THIRD: You have TOO many goals or NO clear goals at all. I see the extreme of both. On one side they have 50 goals they want to accomplish this year. On the flip side, there are no goals. They maybe don't say, “I have no goals,” but they're working on things without having the goals being clear, without the goals being something they’ve planned out and are actively checking in with. When you have too many goals, you set yourself up to be completely disorganized because you've got too many things vying for your attention. You’ll be trying to focus on everything! When you have no clear goals, you end up having to focus on the closest fire or squeaky wheel. That's also not good because that's also a disorganized way to be. With no clear focus of where you're going to put your time, energy, money or your other resources. In my next blog, I will share the other two things that are stopping you from being organized as well as the solutions that you need so stay tuned! P.S. If you’re looking for a clear plan with goals you can easily focus on and attain, then the Dynamic Success Accelerator program is for you! Join here. Read my other blogs here:
I’m just about to go to Vegas to meet my Mastermind group who I haven’t seen in person for over two years. Have you been? or is it on your Bucket list? Back in my blog called, 5 Things You Should Do at least Once in Your Life! I actually had more answers, and since so many had to do with travel, this week’s blog is a curated list of the answers for your travel bucket list. These are still suggestions from the women in my Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook! Are you part of the group yet? It's free to join.  1. Travel to a different country. ~ Denise Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know how many times I have been to a place where the people haven't left. Even worse, they haven't even left their city, state or province. You really need to go to a different country. The benefits of that are:
When I lived in Japan for three years, I learned a lot about their culture:
I've been to a bunch of countries, but a lot more to go because I slowed down after having kids. While in Thailand, I was supposed to go to some other countries in Asia as well, but I loved Thailand so much that I stayed there for over a month. I’ve also been to Australia, New Zealand, Italy, Spain, France, England, Mexico, and my neighbor, the US. I have lots more to go! My list includes Finland, Portugal, Barbados, Jamaica, and any of those, really gorgeous beach countries. 2. Drive to Vegas. ~ Camille I haven't driven to Vegas, but I've flown to Vegas. It's pretty close since I’m in BC, Canada, so I guess we could try. Plus it’d be great to have a car to drive around. The only longer driving trip I did was to drive across Canada, from Ontario to BC, to come out here in Vancouver. My boyfriend at the time, now my husband, was the one driving. We took 10 days to make it a nice journey. I also drove around New Zealand in a car for about a month. I think it was mainly the South Island. When I was a kid, I went with my friend’s family from Ontario to Florida to go to Disney World. That was good. So back to Vegas, my first visit wasn’t until I was in my 30s. I feel like I missed out on my party days in Vegas because when I went I was starting keto (so no sugar, low carbs etc) and so I didn't have a single drop of alcohol, which was interesting. 3. Go on a vacation solo. ~Sandy I totally agree with this. I did a bunch of traveling around Japan solo. I then went to New Zealand and Australia solo. Three months in each. Those were awesome experiences. When you travel solo…
I think it's absolutely amazing. I also traveled to Thailand by myself. I met so many people while I was there, I traveled with some Aussies, for a while. I ended up adding on some different destinations with them. I also traveled and hung out with some Israelis and some Thai people. I definitely recommend doing this. Just make sure you're safe, especially as a woman. Before you go, you can check to see how safe that country is based on your country's travel advisories. You want to make sure you understand their religious and cultural beliefs so you can honour them and not be a target. Japan actually was a really great place to be able to travel by yourself. It's a very safe country. 4. Travel with a backpack and travel wherever the road takes you. ~Jacquie I'm such an A-type planner. I have overly planned certain vacations. Some of the best ones are ones where I have a backpack and a very, very loose plan. It allows spontaneity. A lot of times when backpacked around, my mantra was if someone offers me an amazing opportunity, I'm going to say ‘Yes.’  When I was in New Zealand I had a few cool experiences: I did a radio show to talk about women's rugby in Canada. I was invited to do a bungee jump. I also went to a cricket match. A lot of cool stuff can happen when you are just “go where the road takes you.” I don't know if I would travel with a backpack with my kids because they're still too young (7 and 10). I want them to be able to carry their own backpack. Right now, I'm a hotel-with-a-suitcase-kind-of-gal. But in the future, yes I’d love to. 5. Go on a weekend away with your friends. ~Rupinder Girlfriend weekends are amazing!!! Also equally as awesome… Girlfriend overnight trips. Girlfriend weeklong trips. A lot of times, my friend, Michelle and I, will go to different learning places. It all started when she invited me to go to Brendon Burchard's event in California. Then I invited her to one and then she invited me back.  We're kind of each others’ plus one for a lot of these programs. It was so fun when we got to bring our other friends Kirsten and Tazeem with us. You get to just be silly and have fun. I also spent a week in Hawaii with one of my friends and two of her friends who I didn't know. I definitely went into that with a little bit of apprehension, but I “designed the relationships” and it was amazing. FYI - Designing relationships is a coaching term that is basically two people talking about how they will be in a relationship with each other. All relationships: sibling, parent/child, romantic, platonic, coworkers etc. You talk about what you need and want to be happy, how you hope each other will be, any guidelines needed for the time together. It’s one thing I help clients with and is the 8th Pillar in the Dynamic You Program and the Dynamic You Book. These women didn't know me, and so on the first morning, they offered me coffee, but I said I drink tea first thing in the morning. Then the next day, one of them said that she had put the kettle on for my tea. That’s so caring and lovely. 6. Be somewhere where no one can speak your language. ~Marilyn Or vice versa, somewhere where you can't speak their language. There were places I went where people didn't really speak English, or they were too shy to or they just decided they didn't want to. It's so cool to stretch yourself and to see how you communicate with people through other means. If you can't pick up the language or you can't piece it together, somehow you both can use hand signals or sign language. It's a humbling experience to go somewhere where you don't know their language. What I found in Japan is that not knowing how to speak Japanese fluently and very quickly meant that when I did go places and people were on the train chatting or on the streets and then in cafes, I could zone everybody out. It was just white noise. But after three years, when I came back to Canada, it was absolutely overwhelming. I was understanding everyone's conversation. The first place I realized that was the lineup at the airport to get onto the plane. There were so many people speaking English. When I got to the airport in Canada, and I wanted to go pick up my first Timmies in a long time (Tim Horton’s is a famous coffee and donut shop in Canada), I could hear what people were ordering. Too much English! I felt like I couldn't handle it and just wanted all the white noise to come back. But definitely a really cool experience to try a new language and be creative and patient in understanding each other. Those are six things you can add on your travel bucket list! Which one will you do? Let us know in the comments! Better yet, join the Dynamic Women Global Community so you can share your experiences and be able to connect and learn with other dynamic women! Read my other blogs here:
You probably know why you should invest in yourself. But do you know WHERE you should invest in yourself? I often get asked by corporate leaders and business owners, “Where should I invest my time, money, and energy?” Because those are the three things that you're investing in, right? There might be other resources, like your team manpower, but three main things are time, energy and money. But where should you invest those things for your life and business success?  There are three different areas that you should invest in yourself as a leader to bring you the most benefits. I’ll share stories of leaders and clients I worked with who have invested in themselves in these certain ways and had great results. 1. Invest in Your Connections Sara was feeling pretty lonely and unsure of herself. She felt a lack of belonging. When she did get into interactions, she was starting to feel a little bit awkward. Maybe you felt like that after COVID because things are very different now and you haven't been interacting. Financially, this was causing her to not make the kind of money that she wanted. Also, she couldn't get ahead as easily. Maybe you're feeling that way, too. What she decided to do was start attending events - events with like-minded women, other female leaders, and other business owners who she could connect with. What she found was that she was able to connect with someone who could specifically help her figure out crowdfunding. It's funny because I actually connected the two of them by putting them in the same group for an activity, which was such a coincidence. In doing so, she felt more connected. She grew in her confidence. She got the answers that she needed, which helped her so much. You should invest in connections, networking, and being with other people who you know you can help, where it can be a win-win, and they can help you too. Connections are so important. What I've seen in clients I've worked with and in women that come to my Dynamic Women events, summits, trainings, and even with a group coaching program is that connection brings them so much.
It's really important to invest in your connections by attending events, being part of masterminds, group coaching, and/or programs. Different places where you get to connect and know a lot of cool people.  This also reminds me of the Jim Rohn quote, “You're the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.” Maybe you are looking to elevate your five and add some more people to the close network. 2. Learning Now for the next story, I'm going to call this person Jen. Jen was wanting to start a very specific type of business, but she wasn't sure how to do things. It was holding her back. She kept saying she wanted to do this, but she wasn't moving forward. She felt hesitant. What she realized was she was trying to reinvent the wheel. Maybe you've done this yourself. Where is the 2nd place to invest your time, energy and money? In learning. Not just any kind of learning, but practical application. There should be actionable steps. That's the type of learning that you want to receive so you know exactly what to do. When Jen was able to listen to someone, teach her something, and follow their tips, (this wasn't even a program!), she was able to add $1000 in her profit to her bottom line in the following two weeks. She easily put things into place by following those steps, and it was so much faster for her to get going. The key thing here is to invest in learning:
Right after Jen did this, not only did she feel like things went easier and faster, it also increased her confidence because she already knew the steps she was going to take were actually going to move her forward because they were successful for someone else. I have seen other people save 1000s of dollars. One example is getting rid of some technology that they didn’t actually need. I've seen people completely gain back hours of their week because they were able to follow a certain method or approach that someone taught. I've also seen people be able to bring in a new marketing effort, which has brought them new leads and new clients. This is all from learning from others. 3. Inspiration I'm going to name this person Poppy. Poppy was feeling pretty stuck. She was feeling like her energy was being zapped and her confidence was starting to wane. She was at a high level and was a great leader. But she felt like she didn't have it all together. She shared with me…
It was then causing her to not perform as well because she was doubting herself. She was thinking that she was the only one who was an imposter. She was keeping everything quite private to herself. But then what she did was she start listening to other people's stories, and she was investing in inspiration. This is the third one to invest in: inspiration.  In listening to one of my stories about where I sucked and where I didn't have it all together (I've got a bunch of those!) she realized successful women don't need to have everything together every second of every day. She said to me, “It's so refreshing to hear the honesty and the vulnerability that you're not perfect all the time.” By continuously looking for moments and times to be inspired by others, she realized I don’t always have to be perfect. Then she was able to make it through a hard time because she was inspired to go for it. Hearing great stories from others can give you permission to go for your goals. It can give you hope. I remember one day when someone said, “That gives me hope because you shared that story.” I can give you probably 20 other ways to invest in yourself. But these are three things that you can do easily. It doesn't take a lot of time, energy, or money to be able to do these things. Now, what are your next steps? I’d say it’s to put all three together. All three are happening at the Dynamic Women in Leadership Summit. I've done it for you! I'm going to be fostering connections for you with other female business leaders. There are going to be lots of opportunities for connections with the speakers, experts and other women who are going to be in attendance. You can also connect with me by doing a Q&A session when you have one of the VIP tickets. For learning, I have curated so many amazing experts who are going to help you to lead in many areas of your life and business with actionable steps. I don't want it to be just fluff. I'm going to ask them the right questions to pull out the secrets to their success, so you can replicate them. You’ll be supported as you go towards your goals. For inspiration, we're going to ask the women to share their stories because the stories will stick with you in your mind. When the going gets tough, not just the tough gets going, but the inspired leader will continue to go forward. Get your free tickets to the Dynamic Women in Leadership Summit happening June 3rd and 4th, 2022 from 9AM-5PM to connect, learn, and inspire. Even if you can’t make it to all of it or even some of it get a VIP ALL ACCESS ticket to have the recordings, bonuses and gifts mailed to your house. Read my other blogs here:
1. What's it like being a Business leader and a parent 2. 6 Ways to Get Paid What You’re Worth 3. How NOT to feel isolated |
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