Do you feel tired? Do you not feel like yourself? Yes, I’ve experienced that too. I’ll talk about the ONE thing that I do every year that helps me to run on full cylinders.
What happened to me
I’m so passionate about this topic because like most women out there, I tend to push through being tired and not feeling myself. I’m thinking, “I’m a coach! I should be able to get through this, right?” I do motivation tactics, scheduling strategies, have cheerleaders, and use all the other approaches on myself! Nothing could help me! There was something I didn’t know.
This happened after my first child and AGAIN after my second child. It also happened last year. People said to me:
But it got to the point that I was sleeping eight hours a night, and I'm still friggin tired! I’m still not myself!
They’d tell me, “That’s just how it is.” Well, no. It doesn’t have to be how it is. It’s not just about right after kids. Like last year, my children are already six and nine. It definitely wasn't just after kids that I was feeling off.
People told me that maybe I was feeling off because I was dealing with a lot of responsibility at that time and it’s no wonder I was feeling stressed and lacked motivation. I call BS.
Months later, I got on a virtual appointment with a doctor and I was told, “Well, you feel bad because of Coronavirus.”
I'm NOT going to take that as the answer.
More people are suffering from:
So what was it? and what did I do?
Reflecting on how I was acting I realized I was trying to push myself and my body. I was feeling shame and frustration on how I wasn’t able to do what I wanted to do. I feel awkward in conversation, and I just didn't really want to go out and see people. It wasn’t until I saw a Naturopath and got my full blood work done that I got the answer.
With that blood work, I learned that it’s because of low iron, low B, high cortisol, and hormones being off. Getting that answer was such a big relief to know that I wasn't sucking as a person!
I see this in my women clients all the time. They just don't have that spark in life, that mojo about them.
There could be a number of reasons:
When we make those things better and get them in alignment, when that happens and we still don't feel awesome, that's when the focus turns back on ourselves! But we’re afraid to say, “I don't feel like myself. I don't feel amazing. There's something not right here.”
They're suffering. Could it just be fixed with some iron? Could it just be fixed with B vitamins?
I had postpartum depression with both my kids, but I didn't have the right symptoms. I wasn't ready to run out on my family. I wasn't crying all the time. But I felt awkward in conversations, and I didn't feel like myself! I went from organizing tons of stuff to not even caring to go out.
It felt good when the answer came, “You feel like crap because you don't have enough iron, enough B, your cortisol is super high, and your hormones are off.” When I went and got that support after each of my kids, I was like, “Oh really? I’m so relieved!”
I took what I had to take. It doesn’t mean I felt better within 15 minutes. It was a process. I needed to make adjustments with my doctor in order to feel good.
I was back! But I had suffered for a year. Recently, I've been suffering for months. I’m not feeling right, but I was thinking, “Oh it’s because the kids are at home and are frustrating me.”
Then I got my bloodwork done and HOLY MOLY my iron is even lower than last year. It’s crazy low! My doctor said that is why I was feeling off, feeling tired, didn’t have energy, it was hard to focus, I didn’t have my mojo, etc. I’m gaining weight, too!
The fact is if I just take a pill in the morning, a couple of supplements, a couple of vitamins, I'm going to feel way better! And it's true because once I start taking these things, I do feel better.
Why am I telling this to you?
I feel sorry for the people who have other people diminish how they're feeling, and tell them:
They say all this crap. BUT instead, it could just be fixed by getting your blood taken, having some reports run, and then finding out where you're truly at.
It's this place of diminishing how people feel, making them feel like they are wrong for it, and having them push through. If you are not running on full cylinders inside, how do you expect yourself to run on full cylinders on the outside?
The original reason why I went to the Naturopath was I thought, “I need to eat better because I'm tired. I need to eat better because I'm not losing weight.”
If you are feeling off, get your blood work checked. Do it. I know there are people also being diagnosed with depression and given meds for depression. I'm totally for that if that is for you. I'm totally for that if you need it, but I know that based on my journey, I was offered it and honestly didn’t need it. I just needed a doctor to check the right labs and the right supplements.
Wouldn't you want to get your body rebalanced before introducing anything else?
(Note: I’m not a doctor. I’m not giving you any medical advice. You need to talk to a registered doctor. My favorite is a Naturopath because they spend extra time with you and because they are able to do extra tests.)
Your doctor will tell you what Vitamin B you’d take, and it’s like the happy pill that's gonna put you back on track potentially. You up your iron then your energy comes up. I’m just a few days into taking B and just started taking iron again, and I know it’s going to be a trajectory up for me.
I looked at my reports, and I understand now what happens and my numbers are lower than last year. If I've been going for a whole year, even lower than I was last year, man, no wonder things have just felt harder. No shame, right?
I feel so much better when I'm balanced... so much better. Some of my clients are taking the Dynamic Balance Program with me. I tell them, we can balance your life, we can get you a plan, we can have your Dynamic Life Blueprint set. But if you are off inside, it's gonna be that much harder. If you are off, ideas might not stick. You might not be able to maintain it.
What happens is, we then turn around and judge ourselves for not being good enough, focused enough, motivated enough, smart enough whatever it might be.
Again, I’m not a doctor. I'm not telling you to go buy iron because it is not good to take iron if you don't need it. I'm not saying to go take B and D. I'm not saying that. I'm saying, go and talk to a specialist who will let you know how you're doing on the inside. This is what everyone needs to do every year.
I just felt bad thinking about people out there suffering. The thing is, when you are off on the inside, you might not know. But you push through.
It’s a slow drop. You could feel just .01% worse each day. So you don't really notice it, right? Then eventually you're like, “I'm not where I like not feeling awesome.” But again, you're like:
If any of those are true for you, go get your blood work done. Ask for a professional's support you to see what you need so that you can really take care of yourself. So you can go into the world, make a difference, live your passion, work your mission, whatever it may be. Before you take on the world or even a small task, make sure that you are where you need to be on the inside.
Read my other blogs here:
1. My Laptop Sent me a Message
2. This is my biggest problem...
3. Is Your Business Taking Over Your Life?
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? When you’re in situations like:
There are immediate actions that you can take or do to prepare for this happening so that you can stay on top of things and not be overwhelmed.
Last year, my father passed away. When that happened, I wasn’t able to do my other tasks such as podcasting because I needed to take care of myself and frankly, I didn’t care about any business tasks. Even answering an email felt like a big task. The only thing I could do well and feel like myself was coaching.
In reflection, it's not just about taking care of yourself, it's knowing what to do when life gets overwhelming. How can you prepare for this? I want you to know what to do.
How you could feel
Life changes in many ways. Problems arise. Problems like:
After life changes in these ways, you can have many feelings. You feel overwhelmed, stressed, annoyed, frustrated, angry, or lost. For me, it was lower patience! I just didn’t have patience with my children. I had to do some mommy timeouts!
What is this causing us? Imagine you're juggling all 10 areas of life. You're juggling the kids, your marriage, your house, your health, etc. When one of those balls becomes heavier or more demanding, you tend to drop the other balls!
The issue with dropping the balls is that some of them are made of glass. When you drop them, they will break! When you drop them, you are going to have trouble. You're going to have potentially long-lasting negative effects from it.
For instance, when you end up dropping a ball, you’re breaking relationships, losing some clients in your business, not responding to emails, not being prepared for a presentation, not landing a client because you’re showing up in a different way, etc.
You don't want that to happen. I know I didn’t.
Why this could happen + the negativities
So why do you struggle? You struggle because one area of life that's only supposed to be a certain size has now become bigger. When it's bigger, it takes more of your time. It takes more of your mental capacity.
This can happen at work, whether you're in a nine to five or a business. When you're working harder in your business or in your job, you have less time for your health, you're not sleeping as well, you're eating poorly, you don't see your friends, you're not eating properly, etc. All these negative things come in!
When you're not at your peak in your performance or in your health, it starts to affect confidence and it affects your ability to deal with challenges, it lowers your brain capacity, and how well you can complete your tasks.
You struggle because there's limited time and limited mental capacity that you have. Plus, the emotional strain. You may have encountered a problem and you’re not solid emotionally. You’re not where you need to be. That affects you in many other areas.
What you can do to get going
Ideally, you have this prepared in advance, so you know what to do when s$&t hits the fan.
When life gets crazy and you feel like it’s too much, you just need to stop and think:
At that moment, you might think that you need to sleep, take care of your kids, or finish a project. For you, those are the three things that need to happen. There, you’ve just decided on the most important balls. Those are the glass balls that you can’t drop.
The cool thing is, you can let all the other things sit on the back burner. You don't have to worry about them. You can take them off your plate. You don't even have to think about them.
When my dad got sick, I set aside some tasks:
I focused on my family, my well-being, and my clients. I checked in with my husband and friends a little bit, but everything else I let go.
This is called MAINTENANCE MODE!
Go into maintenance mode. What do you need to just maintain your life?
This is not meant to be long-term, but if you're experiencing this right now, what areas of life are super important at the moment that you need to prioritize?
What I see in my 1:1 clients is they get into chaos. They are trying to juggle every single ball as if they're all glass balls, but they're not. YOU CAN DROP SOME! Your house can be dirty. You don't have to make every meal from scratch. Your landscaping can slide.
Maybe you do prioritize your marriage, your health, your kids, or whatever it may be for you. You need to figure out what maintenance mode is for you. Usually, that's three or four areas of life. (Note: different maintenance mode times will need different areas of life.)
Here are the different areas of life to help you choose:
Decide which three or four areas that you need your focus. I encourage you to devise a plan for when things get crazy and when you can't juggle everything anymore.
If you already know what you're going to do when s$&t hits the fan, it's so much easier. You can just go on autopilot. You have a plan you can rely on.
Remember: You can say “no” to say “yes.” It means you:
Let me know what was most important for you in what I shared today.
If you'd like to make your maintenance mode plan and go through your Wheel of Life, or if you need to process a challenge on your life, then reach out to me. Email me at email@example.com.
Does the pandemic make you ask these questions to yourself:
Yes, it’s a crazy time. Here, I will share with you how you can come out of this time even stronger, even better, and ahead of other people or your competitors.
Now, I have to tell you: you actually have ZERO competitors. You have no one that is going to be against you because you're unique. You are YOU. But are you capitalizing on this?
Times have changed. Have you advanced at this time? Have you changed? Are you leveling up? Are you standing out from the crowd without it feeling overwhelming? That's the key thing: without it feeling overwhelming or feeling hard because I really don't want that for you. You can stand out from your competitors and have it feel easy. Keep reading...
What you can do
I’m going to share the actions I took to gain expertise, to stand out from my competitors or just other people that are in my industry, and to increase my opportunities.
With how things are right now, a lot of people haven’t been able to do business as they normally would: you can’t touch people or bring people together. But now is an opportunity to come out of this stronger and wiser.
Choose to do something that is going to help you move ahead.
Instead of Business Cards
People use business cards to connect or network with other people. If you don’t have business cards, you’re probably adding other people’s information into your phone or adding each other on social media. The thing is, it’s the same as everybody else! You're doing the same as everyone else. But what are they going to do with that information now?
Yes, business cards can sit around and can sit on people's desks, but it's not sitting around in a way that's like, “Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I have this business card from this person.” That's not what they're thinking.
Instead of handing a business card, what if you hand them something that will really help you stand out and position you as an expert? That will really show you as the real deal and that will live on?
Stand Out by Giving a Book
When you meet someone who you want to connect deeper with, you can pull out a book from your bag and say, “Well, I’d love to gift this book to you and you can learn more about <topic you wrote about> with this book.” They will also learn more about you.
And if you don’t have your own book published you can contribute to a book, (like the books in the Dynamic Women® Secrets Series) then you’d say, “I’d love to gift this book to you and you can learn more about <topic you wrote about> and with this book. I’m a collaborative author. I’m on page 130.”
Not everyone gives out a book! And not only will they feel happy to receive a gift and get to know your topic, they will also get to know you!
This will help you:
There are a lot of things you can do with a book:
A book is like a bigger business card.
When you're in a collaborative book, you can take your business card and you can use it as a page marker in the part of the collaborative book that you're in. So it's marked in there where you are in the book.
Autograph the page where you’re in.
You can hand them the book AND autograph the page where you’re in so that they remember that it's you. Also, if you autograph that page of the book or even the inside page, they’re not going to rip that page, right? You can even put their name on it and write a personal message to them that acknowledges them, so they will more likely to keep it.
Share your information.
In a collaborative book, your bio and contact information are there. People can easily know your information that you shared about yourself.
When a person hands out a book in an event, you get to read it when you’re not busy. You’re instantly reading something from the person that you met and you’re starting to build that relationship.
The book will remind them of you.
After they read the book, it’ll be sitting around. They’ll be thinking of you every time they see it.
People will pass it on.
How many times have you thrown a business card? Once you get the information, you throw it away, right? But how many times have you thrown away a book? What do you do with books? You at least pass it on to someone else or donate it, which continues the ability for the person to get to know people. (I actually got a client from someone who picked up my 1st book Dynamic You at a second hand shop.)
Cost vs Benefit
You might be thinking, “Well, Diane, a business card costs pennies. A book costs more!” If you’re an author in a book, I hope you're getting wholesale copy pricing. That brings the price down.
Also, what is the cost of a lead for you?
Let’s compare... If you were to give out 100 business cards but get zero leads and if you were to hand out one book and you got a strong lead. Which one is a better option for you? Which one has a better ROI?
Maybe the book costs you $5, $10, or $20 depending on the design. Still, isn’t a $20 lead worth it if you make $1000? Even if the profit from that client is only $20 a month for six months even, wouldn’t that still be worth it? Yes!
If you knew that you could hand something that was $10 and then receive $20 every single month for the next year, would you do it? I hope so. When I hand someone a book, and they're interested in having me speak because I'm a professional speaker, that could be a $5000-$10,000 payday depending on what it is.
Then after they hire me to speak they already know I have a book (and they might have even read it), so there’s an opportunity for them to buy books for all their attendees/audience members.
Being in a Collaborative Book
In the collaborative books that I have published “Dynamic Women® Success Secrets” and “Dynamic Women® Confidence Secrets,” 50+ thought leaders, experts, and dynamic women shared their stories and secrets on success and confidence.
It allowed them to level up without it feeling harder or overwhelming. When I have a speaking engagement, I get to share about them because I know more about them now and their stories and bios are in the book I have with me. For instance, I always mention Kathy Fester of SendOutCards who speaks on gratitude, she’s a collaborative author in both books. Karen Kobel of Kahlena movement is also in one of the books. Another is Nicole Doumont of Elite Fitness Team, who is also in both books!
Being in a collaborative book allows you to change in a positive way and stand up as an expert. It’s not overwhelming because you only write a piece in the book - your best message or your best set of secrets. In doing that, you are going to have your one solid message be reaching more people. That’s all you need to do. My team and I do the rest. We edit it, format it, and layout the book. We set up everything including the social media posts and the copy you need for your emails. I also do a group coaching session with strategy to help you write your piece and give a bunch of bonuses!
Times have completely changed. Being in a collaborative book, you can add “published author” to your bio. You will be able to come out and stand apart from your competitors.
When you emerge from this, how will you be better? How will you be more than you were before? I’m not saying you have to change. You're amazing. But what are you going to do to set yourself apart? And if that for you is working on your mental health at this time, bonding more with your kids, or taking care of yourself more, great! That's going to help you in your business too. BUT, is that going to help you stand out? Well, that depends. It's not guaranteed, right?
It now all depends on what you implement. 3...2...1...GO!
P.S. If you want to be in our next book or at least learn more about this opportunity, http://www.dianerolston.com/be-an-author.html or you can send me a DM or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Check other related blogs and videos here:
1. Overwhelmed with Overwhelm
2. Sideswiped by Change
3. You Don't Need to Feel Busy! (I unveil my secrets)
Many of us receive direct messages from people we don’t know (or just met) on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and other social media sites. I receive A LOT of these. One thing that I notice with them is that their messages sound salesy or like a pitch, especially with new connections.
If you’re wanting to DM people, I will answer two questions in this blog:
There are a few kinds of questions that I receive on my DMs:
1. Open-Ended Questions
Have you received any of these messages:
I hate these kinds of questions because it puts the pressure on me to get things going. I’m then entering into a full conversation with someone who I don't know and I don't know why they're trying to reach out to me.
These questions are so open-ended, and I don’t know how to reply. I can reply “Good” or “Great” then they’d ask “What do you do?” Well, if this person looked at my profile, they would know what I do. Don't make me work because you want to talk to me. If you're going to reach out to someone, say more.
2. Unsolicited Offers
Have you received messages like:
Who doesn't want good things for their business? Who doesn't want these things? But it doesn't mean that I'm ready to enter into a sales conversation with you about it because I don't know you. So you have to ask yourself, “What are you leading with when you're messaging people?”
Because when people lead with optimizing my website, increasing my Google ranking, or whatever, I am not shopping for that. Your first message should not be a solicitation. You should not be offering to help me for a fee in that first message. I did not request solicitation in my inbox.
I also receive messages like:
Well, how do you know that my community wants it? Right, you're leading with your own offer. You're not leading with anything that I should care about. This is something you have to think about. What are you leading with? Are you leading with your own agenda? Or are you leading with something that would actually be for them?
3. “I love…
The other thing that I often see is people saying:
That type of message could be almost for anyone in the world. But if you’re going to say such things, be specific! For instance, if you want to be on the Dynamic Women Podcast, send me an email that says something like, “Hey, I love what you're doing. I listened to Episode 34 about changes for the new year! I love the five things that you shared! I totally resonate with this piece.”
If you message me something along these lines, it would show me that you actually took the time to consume some of my content and get to know me.
4. No “No Big Deal”
Sometimes, people send things like:
This is okay because I have permission to not answer her. However, sometimes what'll happen is people will send that but not the “no big deal.” And then they'll come in again and like, “Hey, you didn't reply to my message” or “Hey, I'm sending this again because you haven't replied.”
If that's through my business page on Facebook and I don’t reply to their spam, that messes up my response rates!
You might ask, “If they want to friend request you and you don’t know them, then what's the point of accepting their friend request?”
Good question. My response to this is as a business owner and speaker who is in the public eye quite a bit, I will say yes to their friend request if:
I’m trusting that they're good people and we should be connected. If you want to accept a friend request from someone, then you need to make the decision if that is a good decision for you or not. Have your own criteria for accepting friend requests.
Your being salesy happens when you lead with your own agenda.
You’ll come off as kind of awkward and weird in messages when you don't have a clear intention or you're not trying to connect with the person. So the keyword here is CONNECTION. Connect with the person. And so in order to connect with someone, you need to have a topic that is worthy of connecting about.
If you want to connect with them, you've got something specific that you can say or to talk about THEM, not talk about YOU. I don't know how many times I've had someone email me and the email tells me how awesome they are.
One of the easiest ways to connect is to acknowledge the person in a true way for something that you admire about them, that you like about them, or that you want to compliment them for. Acknowledge them for something and then speak about what's in it for them.
Here’s the question recap...
Now here are some tips you can do to NOT sound salesy:
1. Get on people’s radar first.
Go like some of their posts, comment on them and/or share some of their content. When people do this on my stuff, I do notice! If someone shares my content and I realize they've shared it, I will thank them. Then I’ll be more receptive when they DM me.
2. Find out what’s important to them.
Not what you think is important, but actually what is important to them. You'll find out what's important to them by listening to some of their videos, their audios, and their podcasts. Or by reading stuff on their website and their bio.
3. Don’t make them do all the work.
Don’t just say “How are you?” That's an annoying start to a conversation (unless I know them). Instead, tell me what you want to talk about. Acknowledge their work, and be detailed in the message. Refer to something that they have done and just come from a place of serving them first, and then they'll potentially reciprocate.
These are the things you can do to not come across as salesy and pitchy in direct messenger. Now, how are you going to show up differently?
P.S. I have to take my own words of wisdom here. Sometimes I try to get straight to the point with people without connecting. That's my A-type. It’s a learning curve!
Want to get on my radar? Comment below or subscribe and/or review my Dynamic Women Podcast!
Read my other blogs here:
Life can feel full and unbalanced and then you need to find more time to be on top of your social media. And while social media truly has some great benefits for your business, it can get in the way of your personal priorities and take a lot of time.
Since I love efficiency and saving time, in this blog, I’m going to share some tips to post on social media faster and easier. But before you try to cut time in any activity, ask yourself these 3 coaching questions I ask other female business leaders:
Think about these questions as we go through the tips.
(Take note: I’m not a Facebook expert. These are some tips I chose to do in my business as I grew it with 2 young kids. In case you didn’t know, Facebook can penalize you for using an external posting system. You’ll be penalized by not having your posts show up as often as posts that are organically posted straight to Facebook.)
Now, there are ways on how you schedule posts for Facebook and other social media platforms:
1. Copy and Paste
You could copy and paste your posts on different Facebook groups and schedule them. But if you really want to post organically, one tip I’ve heard is to stay in the box that you’re pasting in for 10 seconds because that is of Facebook's way of knowing did you actually write this post or if you went on a copy and paste spree.
Extra Tip: Create an Excel or Word document where you have all your posts ready. This way, you can have your posts more organized and planned out and you will not be distracted by Facebook.
2. Use Scheduling Systems
There are different tools that you can use to schedule posts for different platforms (not just for Facebook) at the same time like Buffer, Hootsuite, CincShare, and Planoly. I used Hootsuite before where I would create an Excel spreadsheet that contains all the information (what and when I’m going to post, hashtags, etc.) then I would bulk upload it to Hootsuite. Right now, I am using Planoly where I can schedule my posts for Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And even better I have my VA do it.
Your reach may not be as good using this way so you have to ask yourself, is it more important to do this and have more time? Is that more important than having it have a bigger reach? In coaching many busy business owners, my thought is, "if using a scheduling system means you’re actually consistent in your posting, is that not better than being inconsistent in organic posts?" It all comes down to what you value the most.
Extra Tip: Work on better content. Work also on staggering times like 1:07PM instead of 1:00PM or 1:23PM instead of 1:30PM so your post is not competing with posts at those times. Another tip is since you’re using these tools to schedule your posts, you can post on different social media platforms so you’re also present on those platforms.
3. Use Facebook’s Creator Studio
Facebook has its own platform called Creator Studio. Use Facebook's own platform because it might be better because Facebook is going to like that more and maybe push more of your content out.
Facebook doesn't like this as much, but you can always push content from one platform to another. I can post to Instagram and have it fly over to Facebook and or Twitter.
Is this the best thing for my time? Yes. Is this the best thing for my business? Maybe not. I'm dealing with the time that I have. So I encourage you to do the same - to think about what is the best use of your time.
Extra Tip: Have someone manage all of your social media platforms then they can engage and post organically for you. Even if you don’t feel you have the budget, think about how you can make it happen. This will free you up to do more income generating activities.
5. Pick One Platform
Pick one platform and make sure you're doing some organic posting by posting straight to the platform. Then get on there and actually engage with your posts, reply to people’s comments, like them, and ask them a question back.
If you push content from one platform to another - great! If you bulk upload to other platforms, great! But at the very least pick one platform and really put a lot of energy into it. Ideally, focus on where your clients already are.
Extra Tip: Have good content. Create content that's engaging. Create content that could go viral because it looks good. Create something that people want to consume.
Which of these tips will you try out? Let me know in the comments! If you have questions that I can help you solve, comment down below, so I can answer that in my next blogs. Join my FREE Facebook group Dynamic Women Global Community, I love sharing tips and techniques there.
Read my other blogs for more time-saving hacks:
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