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C.A.T.E.S - 5 Things That Will Help You Move Ahead

10/27/2022

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No matter what you want, there are five things that can definitely help you move forward and get results with less stress, more ease, and better success. To help you remember it easily, I will call it C-A-T-E-S. 
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This is one of the main teaching points that I shared during the Dynamic Women in Leadership Summit. 
How did I know to share it? I asked the women coming to the summit to fill out a survey. There was a question around, “If you could have a VIP day with me, what would you ask? What would you hope I helped you with?” There were so many different questions and so many different things that they wanted to know including the ones below:
  • “Diane, what did you do to have success?”
  • “How can I also reach my goals?”
  • “I’m not sure what I even want, how do I figure it out?
Also when I asked about what their goals were and what obstacles hold them back, with every single answer they put there, I knew that C-A-T-E-S could help them. 
What is C-A-T-E-S?
I’ll break it down into 5 parts and as I go through it, think about these questions:
  • Do I have this in place?
  • Is this something that’s working for me?
If you realize you have each part in place ask yourself:
  • How can I have more of this?
  • How can I enrich what I have?
If you don't have it, start thinking about how you can get more C-A-T-E-S into your life.
When clients come to me or even in my own development, a lot of times we're on our own. We’re silos, the lone wolf, whatever you want to call it. Female business leaders are often alone. We're not meant to be alone. We're meant to be in a flock, in a group, in a community, or in a tribe - just with other people around us to support us. 
Now I could go on and on and on, but why do we do this? Simple answer. We are so skilled and talented that we believe we can do it ourselves. Plus, we've been totally praised when we do things ourselves, and asking for help shows weakness, but that shouldn't be the case. We move forward so much faster when we get other people to work with us on it. You want to have the synergy of the group, the synergy to move you forward faster, and C-A-T-E-S is going to do that. 
“C” Stands for Cheerleaders 
Cheerleaders are people in your corner. People who are telling you, “You're doing a great job.” When you fall down, they're the ones believing you can get back up again. They fan your flame. Sometimes there's only a little spark and they help to keep it going. 
Other times, it is a bunch of flames and they get into a roaring fire because they are mirroring back to you the amazing person that you are. But cheerleaders also give you the help you need when you fall down. 
I have had clients come to me and say, “I don't know if I can do this, Diane.” The problem with that worry is when they don’t have cheerleaders in their life, they start to doubt themselves which then shows up in their business situations and transactions. They negotiate for less pay, or they can't close clients because they're not showing up confidently and other people don't believe in them. 
They don't go for opportunities they would be a good fit for. But when you have a cheerleader, someone in your corner, it's kind of like you're in a boxing ring. You've got that person there saying, “Give a right hook”, “Give a jab”, “Make sure you do this”, and “You've got this”.
Then when you're all tuckered out and you come to the corner, they're there to wipe the sweat off your brow… to tend to any wounds you have… to give you a bit of a pep talk because you may feel like giving up at that time. Then they give you a pat on the back and say. “Come on, get back in there” and they continue to support you. 
That's what cheerleaders are for. Fans. People who believe in you. People who care about you. People who support you in a way that is encouraging and motivational. 
Now ask yourself, how are the cheerleaders in your life? Do you have enough? Do you want more? Do you want them to be stronger in your life and better for you? 
“A” Stands for Accountability
Now, a lot of people think, ​
  • “Oh, I got accountability.”
  • “I got my friend. They're going to help me to make sure I do this.”
A lot of times, friends will let friends get away with not doing what they're supposed to do. But when you have true accountability, you get the thing done, even if it's at the last minute. Many times I've had clients say, “Wow, if I didn't commit to you and have the accountability, I wouldn't have done it last night.” 
It's important to have real accountability because otherwise, we often will be uncommitted to ourselves. When you are accountable to someone and you get things done, that also builds confidence. It builds habits and routines until eventually, your actions become a way of life. It's so important to have the right accountability, and someone who will call you out when you don't do what you said you would do. ​
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Sometimes with clients, yes, they choose not to do what they were supposed to do. We find out through talking in the sessions that it was actually a better decision to do a different action or a different step. But they knew they had to make some sort of action in lieu of the one they committed to. You can't be thinking, “Oh, I'm just not going to do it and that's fine.” ​
I take a stand for my clients. I take a stand for their goals, and I call them out when they're not stepping into them. It's not because they're in trouble. It's because I know what they really want. 
Some of my best sports coaches used to keep me accountable to doing specific drills in my own time, like kicking multiple times over and over and over and over again for posts in rugby,  practicing my dribbling skills in soccer, or practicing my left-hand layup in basketball. I only got better because I had the right accountability. 
Ask yourself, How’s your accountability? Are they actually going to keep you accountable? Are they going to call you out when you don't do it or are they going to let you off? Are you happy with the type of accountability you have or do you need some because you have none? Or do you want to up  your accountability?
“T” Stands for Teammates
Teammates are people who go alongside you, either in a program, in a group coaching situation, or in a mastermind. They are there in the community with you wanting to see you succeed. 
Teammates make it fun because sometimes one person will inspire you. Other times you'll inspire them. You don't always have to be the one keeping the inspiration and motivation going. Having others around you can also add to the brain power of the group giving fresh ideas. Maybe even referring you to others and a lot of times teammates also take the role of cheerleaders. 
Do you have teammates in your life? I don't mean sports teammates. I mean, those who would be in a mastermind with you. Something organized with a facilitator. If you have really great teammates:
  • you're excited for each other
  • you're thinking about each other's goals
  • you're there for each other in your growth and in your steps to success 
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You might think, “Oh, I’ve got teammates or people around me. Sometimes my neighbor and I talk business.” Well, how consistent is that? Teammates should be meeting consistently and with a very specific structure to make sure it's fair:
  • Fair in what you share. 
  • Fair in how much time you get. 
  • Fair in the right amount of support from the other teammates.
That's why a facilitator or coach is important. Someone who will make sure it's fair all around, and that everyone gets what they need, and what they want. 
Ask yourself, could your teammates be better? Do you want to switch out the whole lineup? Or do you want to just add a few key players? For me, I have different teammates in different areas of my life. I have teammates for my business. I have teammates for my speaking business. I have teammates for the growth of my business. I have teammates for my spiritual life. Then I have my soccer teammates. How about you?
“E” Stands for Experts
Experts are crucial if you don't want to work harder, and I'm guessing you don't. What I see in my clients is when they're starting new businesses or when they're looking to grow, there is this place of “I want to grow, but I don't want to spend the money to grow it, so I'm going to try and do it all myself. I'm gonna go to Google and try to figure out how to do XYZ or I'm going to get a program and work through it myself.”
But what I've seen time and time again is it's a waste of time and energy, and oftentimes a waste of money. Experts will help you get ahead faster. They'll tell you the exact steps they took. They'll tell you the reasons why so you don't have to learn the hard way. 
That's also building your experience and your own expertise in whatever process they're teaching you. You can always have experts who are going to do the work for you. Wouldn’t that be nice? So then you get to focus on your core competencies rather than focusing on figuring out how to do things like accounting, graphic design, or building a website. 
It might even include things like cleaning your house, experts have a very high return on investment or ROI. When you invest in them, it helps you to move forward. It helps you to be bringing in customers, clients, profits, and to reach your goals a lot faster. 
I encourage you to look at the experts you need in your life (all 10 areas of life). Do you need experts
  • in your health? 
  • in your romance?
  • in your home?
  • in your business? 
  • in your finances? 
  • In your personal development?
I could list them all, but I think you get the point that there are experts you could have in every single area of life. 
If you’re thinking you have experts in your life and you’re always investing in experts, well, ask yourself do you have the right ones? Do you want to level up now? Do you need to bring one in for a new area that you're just starting to grow or develop in? 
I've been able to move ahead a lot faster and easier because I can tap into experts.  I hire them in 3 ways:
  1. I hire them to do the work for me.
  2. I hire them to teach me how to do it.
  3. I hire them so I'm able to tap into their knowledge and ask them questions.
It's not that I'm not able to figure it out. It's that I choose to use my time in my core competencies in the income-producing activities that helped me to grow my business. So what experts do you need?
“S” Stands for Support
Support can take on many different forms. This can be life coaching or counseling. It can be support through grief. It can be supporting the business in different ways. It can be support in hiring someone to do the work for you.
Do you feel supported? I think that's the bigger question. Sometimes people look to their spouse, friends, and family for support. But is that really the support that’s moving you forward? Support from someone who knows what they're doing. Support from someone who is specifically trained to do what you need to do is the wise choice. 
Ask yourself, How much support do you have in your life? Do you feel supported? How do you want that to be better? How can you have more support? What would be ideal? 
That concludes the 5 parts of C-A-T-E-S.
You now have the questions I invite you to answer in regard to every piece of C-A-T-E-S. These are the five crucial things that when in place, you're able to move forward faster. If you're thinking I don't want to move forward faster, then what they're gonna do is make your life 
  • Easier
  • More enjoyable
  • More satisfied
  • Less overwhelming
  • Less moments of feeling unconfident
  • Less money being spent and thrown away on things that don't matter
There's a three-phase model that I talk about in how I work with my clients. This is where I can help you implement C-A-T-E-S so you can move forward with CLARITY on what you should be working on, the CONFIDENCE to be able to go for it, and a TANGIBLE ACTION PLAN that will get you there faster and easier. 
I talked all about C-A-T-E-S during the Dynamic Women in Leadership Summit. If you were not able to attend, don’t fret! You can still access the recording of all the sessions and even receive special gifts from the speakers and gifts that will be sent to your doorstep! Just go to this link and learn more about C-A-T-E-S. ​
Read more blogs here:
1. What's it like being a Business leader and a parent
2. 
Stop Dropping the Balls and Instead Find Balance
3. 
Where to Focus YOUR Resources for the BEST results
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3 Things Leaders Need Post-Covid

10/20/2022

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To all my lady leaders out there, it’s been more than two years since the pandemic started, how are you feeling today?
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In this blog, I will share with you what leaders need post-COVID, but first, let’s define what a leader is.
What is a leader?
A female business leader in a corporation is often a manager, supervisor, a VP or the CEO. On the flip side, she could own her own business as a solopreneur, small business owner or entrepreneur.  Either way, they're a leader in their own capacity in their community. There are other ways that you could be a leader too, so if you identify as a leader, then you’ll want to read on.
You know that Leaders take care of others. Well Covid not only had us take care of more regulations, health policies and economic changes, but also increased the needs of our people and clients while at the same time lowered our bandwidth to deal with it. Yeah it was tough. 
You were responsible for other people, and therefore, their…
  • Needs
  • Suffering
  • Negativity
You have to take care of it and be a sounding board, understanding and follow the laws. There's a lot of burden and stress on you.
I feel that as well with my community. I am the head of it. The one who even when things are hard for me I need to…
  • put on a happy face 
  • Be consistent
  • keep things positive
  • inspire and encourage others
It can be draining at times. Agree?
While it may have been nice that we're not commuting to work as much, and there are not as many events and things to go to, we’re also in a place right now where we have Zoom fatigue from being on the computer so much. We're maybe a little bit more stressed, or maybe not eating as well, or not taking as good care of ourselves because of everything that's going on. 
Three Things to Get You Going Again
Leaders, I got your back! Here are some options of how to be able to get your spark or energy back. To recharge and be back fully in charge:
  1. Inspiration
You need to be re-inspired to do what you do. That can come from new ideas or stories. The benefit of this is it can create action for you and improve your mindset.
We often get inspiration from other people sharing their ideas and their stories of what they have done so that we can see what's possible out there. It opens up or shifts your mindset to think, “Wow, they could do that… I can do that, too!” or “There are a lot of similarities between us.”
That's a really good idea. It's a really good option. It gives you hope, and a lot of our hope has been stripped from us with what's going on in the world today. Even with Covid easing off, there’s the war in Ukraine, natural disasters, and inflation. No matter what it is, there are things that are taking away your energy. Inspiration gives you your energy back. It invigorates you. 
But you have to be able to block everything out, and have a set amount of time so that when you hear these stories, your creative brain can take them in. Then when you're done feeling better, creative, and inspired, that will move you into action. 
Some people think, “I don't have time to be inspired. I don't have time to sit and listen to someone's story or have them share some new ideas with me.” 
Well, the thing is, when you come back, you're going to be re-energized. You're going to have inspiration, that's going to be the fuel to propel you forward through times when:
  • you just don't want to do what you're supposed to do
  • you're procrastinating
  • you're suffering from perfectionism, or 
  • you just can't be bothered because you're not feeling the resonance or energy that you need to be feeling. 
     2. Connection
You want to feel a sense of belonging with others, and maybe you were happy to be holed up in your home or in your office with your small bubble. But we really want a sense of belonging now more than ever. ​
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Women were meant to hang out together. We're meant to be in a group. We're meant to be sitting around together, telling stories and connecting. 
When we connect to others there are many benefits:
  • We feel a sense of belonging.
  • We then feel like we're being understood.
  • Other people understand where we're coming from. 
  • They can connect with us. 
  • We feel like we're heard. 
There's been a lot of segregation, and a lot of isolating over the past few years. Me being a social butterfly, I thought that I'd be all over wanting to get back together, but part of me can't be bothered. Part of me thinks that's a lot of energy. However, when I do connect, even in small groups with people, there's this joy that comes up.
Last May, I went to an online event with ICF (the International Coaching Federation) event because I'm a PCC (Professional Certified Coach). We’re in the breakout room, and I was chatting with a coach from Nigeria. That just made the world feel really small because I was seeing into his home. I was hearing about his day, his life, how he coaches and how he uses it in his work. It was super cool. Then talking with other people about our obstacles and hearing other people talk about their struggles was comforting to know that I'm not alone.
The problem is we often don't get connected as leaders because we're supporting everyone else. It's oftentimes top-down and not that you're thinking you're better than them, but there is that disconnect. You're not able to be on the same level. You can't talk about your feelings with them. You can't be vulnerable with them. You have to keep a happy face on and lead everyone. It’s emotional labour and sometimes lonely.
   3. Wisdom
We have had to make so many important strategic, crucial decisions over the past few years
  • to keep our businesses running 
  • to keep our career going 
  • to keep people that work with us doing well
And a lot of it was with the mandates, restrictions and health measures.
Wouldn’t it be nice for once to just be told what to do? To know there are proven techniques we can just follow? It’s a wise decision to have someone else figure things out and tell us the wisdom, tell us the knowledge, tell us the expertise.
It gives us a bit of a break. Yes, leaders need a break. We need to have some time where we don't have to figure it all out ourselves. It'd be nice to be able to say, “Tell me ABCD steps, and I'll do them.” 
In one of my pilates classes, my instructor Karen told us, “Now if you want to add into bicep curls, you can do those now. Too.” We all started doing them. I joked to her, “Don't ask me if I want to do them. Just tell me to do it.”
A lot of times we know what to do. But boy, it’s just so much easier when someone tells us. We don’t have to figure it all out. We don't even have to research it if someone else has done it and uses a proven technique or a proven process that gets results. 
So don’t feel bad about going to experts to be shown what to do.  It’s a valuable investment of time and money PLUS their wisdom can get you ahead faster that you can and that action will give you so much momentum and motivation.
Your ROI is guaranteed if you do it this way. It's so much nicer. 
These are the three things I think all leaders need post-COVID: inspiration, connection, and wisdom. 
One way to get all these three without even leaving like you don't have to leave the comfort of your own home is by attending Dynamic Women events. You don't have to go into big crowds. You don't have to invest a ton of money. You can be inspired by the stories and information I share or my guests share. You’ll be able to connect with other women attending. On top of that, you’ll get wisdom that you can use in your life and business. To be updated with our events, join the Dynamic Women Global Community! 
Read my other blogs here:
1. 5 Ways I Kept My Business and Life Going During the Pandemic
2. 
Stop the Panic: 7 Ways to Keep Your Business & Life Going During the Coronavirus
​3. Want more success? Then pull up your big girl panties!
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5 Steps to Know If a Troll or Hater is Right

10/13/2022

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Have you ever had someone hate on you or troll your posts and make mean comments?
In my last blog, I told you about the six levels of shining. Now, let me tell you…as soon as you start shining, many people will see you in a positive light and compliment you. It will feel amazing and to them you say, “Thank you!” Then there is a chance that others will be jealous and say mean things about you to your face, online or to others. I’ve felt it and it sucks how it can cause you to doubt yourself and want to fly under the radar.
Don’t hide away! Don’t take their words to heart! Instead I’ve got some tips for you.
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Here are the five steps you can take in those moments in order to be able to deal with haters. 
Step 1: Ask yourself, “Does this person's opinion matter to me?”
This is especially true in cases online when you don't even know them. They think they know you based on what you've put online or how they see you from afar, but they don't. That person doesn't have any importance in your life. ​
What if it is someone whose opinion does matter, like a loved one, a friend, or a co-worker?
If the person's opinion matters because you care about them deeply or because you have an obligation to them like a boss, then we're going to move on to step two. If it doesn't matter, then you can just let it go and jump straight to step four.
Step 2: Open your ears and protect your heart
The words for this Step are what was said to me by the Ultrasound Tech when I was doing genetic testing with my first baby. The ultrasound was to see if our baby would be normal and would not have any health problems. 
The person doing the ultrasound couldn't tell me what the answer was, it had to go through the doctor. Before I left to hear the results she said to me, “When you go and see the doctor, open your ears, but close your heart.” That basically meant: take the facts in and don't let it impact you emotionally or personally. 
If a boss or family member says something negative to you at that moment, take the info into your mind and close off your heart so it doesn't deeply impact you. I know that it’s not always easy to deal with it in the moment and know exactly what to say in response to negative or hurtful comments, so let’s move to Step 3.
Rather than it taking you to a place of lack of worth and limiting beliefs. We need to get to that place of, “Okay, this is not going to affect me long term and affect me personally.” To do that, let's go to the next step.
Step 3: Be curious and look for fact
Let’s say in a meeting at work with a potential buyer, you were so excited about a new product and its launch. But afterwards your boss says, “You talked a lot, you were very loud and you were so excited.” ​
So you close off your heart as in Step 2 and you ask yourself these three questions:
  1. What was the result of the action? 
  2. What was the implication of the action? 
  3. What was the negative side of the action?
Here are the specific questions from my example and some possible answers:
  1. What was the result of talking a lot? I may have cut off my boss and the potential buyer. 
  2. What was the implication of being loud? I might have seemed like I was yelling causing the buyer to pull back and be quiet.
  3. What was the negative side of being so excited? I could be seen as salesy.
Being excited, talking passionately and talking loudly can be a good thing - you’ve seen this with memorable speakers like Tony Robbins, and Martin Luther King. But after being curious and looking for facts you can see how you came across and then decide if you want to change anything.
Now you're in a place of learning, which is great.  Now that you have the info, you can get into action by asking yourself, “What do I want to do now?” 
In this situation, you might practice your pitch before a meeting, you may pause in the meeting to check in with the potential buyer, and you could have a code signal with your boss if you do get too excited or loud. 
What happens if you can’t find any facts?
  • So you’ve gone through the questions and you can’t see how what they said is true. 
  • and you’ve checked in with friends who will call you out (this is also in Step 4) and they agree there was no truth to a negative comment. 
In some cases, you can ask the person. Like in my example you could ask your boss to explain the impact they saw in talking a lot and being excited.
This happened in my example from a past blog when I was talking with this woman at my church retreat who said I was too much. I did some soul searching, reflected and asked myself the questions about if I was too much, I even asked someone else who was at the retreat and we couldn’t find truth in her comments, so I had to go to her.
I let her know her comments upset me and I wanted to talk about it. She agreed and I asked, “Can you explain to me how I'm too? Can you share what I did that made you not like it?” ​
It's funny because she didn’t have any examples of what the negative was. In the end, she said, “It’s actually not you. It's me. I'm realizing I don't like myself.” This broke my heart and made me realize where her comments were really coming from.
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This completely changed things. You see, sometimes there isn’t truth to people’s negativity. That’s why a lot of times we need to just ignore it and protect our heart.
Thankfully, I was able to have that conversation. But you can’t always have that conversation, especially if it's someone online or maybe you don’t want to because it’s a family member or someone who you just can’t win with. I have had clients with narcissists in their lives and you should just not engage.
But if you're curious, you might get the understanding out of it. So in that hypothetical work situation that I gave, if you’re talking a lot and someone else didn't get to talk, then maybe it's more so that they wanted to shine and they didn't get to.
On the flip side, you could have been exactly what the potential buyer wanted and now they’re your client because they loved you. But your boss was jealous of the attention you were getting. Knowing that helps you to gauge for next time and adapt. 
If someone tells me the negative reason or the negative results, obviously, I'm going to want to change my actions. Not necessarily change myself but change my actions so that I can have a better result and have a better connection. 
Be curious like a five-year-old would be curious, with your heart protected and your ears open. 
Step 4: Get support from those you trust
This is the step you jump to if you've got a troll on social media, and you're feeling like, “Why did they say that mean thing to me? Oh, I'm never going to do a video again because they said this about me.”
Then, you get support from those you trust. You go to the friends and you say, “Friend, this is what was said. This is what happened. This is how I'm feeling.” 
That's what I have had to do like in the example above and when someone was slandering me. I had to go to my friends and ask, “Am I really like that? Are they correct?” They responded, “Absolutely not. Not at all.” They were ready to go to bat for me on this.
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When you go to someone you trust, they might tell you, “Well, actually, yeah. I can see how that's the case and maybe do this next time.” ​
​Just like I’d prefer to have someone tell me I have broccoli in my teeth, I’d like feedback on where I don’t realize I am doing something with bad results. I trust them, so I can be vulnerable and ask for their opinion without being in shame or guilt.
Three  benefits are:
  1. It’s not true and they tell you that and then they support you through any feelings you have about it.
  2. It’s not true because the person is misunderstanding you or the situation, but you talk it through so you can adapt in future situations.
  3. It is true and they lighten the impact and make it less hurtful by saying something like, “Well, I can see where they're coming from.” They can then talk you through it and help you to understand it and feel better. 
Step 5: Continue to shine and sparkle
This is the most important step. Continue to shine and sparkle. Why? The world needs more SHINE. Yes, you may repel some people, but they're not YOUR people. 
Remember when you shine a new sparkle, you're going to be able to bring in and attract:
  • the people who will love you most
  • the people who want to be with you
  • the people who want to be in your life 
  • the people who have similar values and belief
But if you are going to dull your sparkle, if you're going to hide it away, you're missing out. You're missing out on so many rewards. 
You have an amazing opportunity to increase your ability to shine if…
  • You're struggling to shine
  • You’re in a low level of shining when you looked at the different levels of shining in my last blog 
  • You are shining and you want to amp it up to one of the higher levels
  • You have big dreams, big goals, big things you want to accomplish and you know you need to shine a little bit more, 
  • You used to shine a lot, but someone's taken away your sparkle. 
  • You want to shine, but situations have dulled it. (This happened to me with Covid and my Dad dying - my sparkle was dulled)
If any of these are true for you or you just feel like you want to SHINE more, then I do encourage you to do the Dynamic You Program. You can do the program and get the book. What I have seen is that those who take the program with me and the other ladies always get a better result. If you can only get the book then go for it. I've made that an option for those of you who financially need another option.
To wrap this up, don't ever let anyone dull your sparkle and if someone does then go through the 5 Steps. If you believe that you are being a good person and you're being naturally yourself, and you're not harming anyone, then you are wonderful the way you are. There is no need for you to change who you are. You may just want to change some of your actions. 
But don't let someone else's negativity, someone else's jealousy, or someone else's comparison to you be the reason why you're not allowed to shine and sparkle. You were destined to do life in your own way. We're all shining and sparkling in our own ways. Maybe some of us more than others. That's okay. But don't ever let anyone dull your sparkle, go through the five steps and get yourself back to where you need to be. 
Read other blogs here: 
  1. The Five Reasons Why You Need Motivation
  2. 4 Steps to Stop Judging Yourself
  3. 3 Reasons Why You Can’t Find Answers to Your Problems
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The Six Levels of Shining

10/6/2022

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Have you ever had someone say bad things about you and tell you that “You're too much!” and they dull your sparkle?
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In my last blog, I talked about why we should stop telling others they’re too much. This happened a couple of times within a three-month period. I did some self-reflection and asked friends. I realized that even in talking to one of the people who said mean things about me, I realized I was not the culprit. 
I alluded before to this time in my life when I was being tested. I was being challenged in “Am I really who I am meant to be” and “Am I showing up in this really great way?” 
I knew I was my true self and so it was very hurtful those things were said. The funny thing is a little while later, a friend who I thought knew all about this incident gave me a gift. It was a frame with the writing, “Don't ever let anyone dull your sparkle.”
I said to her, “This is so fitting because of the challenges I've been through with others.” She asked, “What challenges?” She didn’t know! I asked her why she gave me that gift and she said, “Well, you have a sparkle when you are coaching clients, on stage or just in your regular life. I just don't want that to ever change for you.” How amazing is that? On the flip side of those negative people, I've got this amazing supporter.
Please note: I'm going to intermix the words “shine” and “sparkle. I'll probably move to the word “shine” a little bit more because it is the 9th Pillar of being a Dynamic Woman. It's the final pillar after the other 8 because of its importance and the need to work through the challenges of not being able to shine. That's why I'm saying don't tell people there too much. Don't take away people's sparkle because it possibly took them a long time to get to the point where they're able to actually shine and sparkle. 
What does it mean to sparkle and shine
If you have the Dynamic You book or you've taken the program, please refer back to Pillar 9.  It's kind of like the idea of “shine bright like a diamond” in Rihanna’s song. What I see in this regard is diamonds are high value, right? They're high quality. They're strong, and they're absolutely gorgeous. You're mesmerized by them when you look at them. Or think about crystals. Just that glorious brightness and you're drawn to it. You're pulled in. 
Other words that describe someone who can shine or someone who sparkles would be:
  • Positive
  • There's energy around them
  • They stand in who they are. 
  • They're unapologetically themselves
  • They're confident
  • They're probably living a fulfilling life on purpose
Have you had moments like this? It could be when you're in your personal life, like when you’re telling a fun story or baking. It can also be in your professional life, like for me, I've heard from others that when I'm on stage, when I'm presenting, when I'm working with someone, these are some of the moments that I'm shining. 
Think of a time when you’ve seen someone singing, and they’re really connecting with the music and their emotions. How did you feel about it?  Even if they aren’t the best technical singer you might still think, “Wow, that was amazing. They're a superstar.”
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The Six Levels of Shining
If you have the Dynamic You book, this is on page 121. 
Level 1: Hiding 
You're hiding. Rather than being out and shining, you're staying home. You're holding back.  You're keeping yourself in. Because you're hiding, you're not shining, really at all. 
Level 2: Invisible
You go out to events, and you meet people when you reach out. Even though you're at events, and you do things, you're still kind of invisible. You're not getting much attention. No one's paying much attention to you at all. Not much is happening from you or for you. When you leave the event, no one really notices. ​
Level 3: Blending in
Yes, you're there. You're at the event or you're at the function. You're around people and they know you exist. But more or less, you're just a body in the room. You're not putting anything out, you're not shining in any way that makes you different from anyone else. Imagine going to an event and everybody's wearing the same thing. Or in the wintertime how everyone likes to wear black, blue, or gray coats. If we think of it in terms of your appearance, you really blend in with everyone else wearing the same uniform as them. Maybe you're too quiet. Maybe you don't speak up or ask questions. That's blending it. You're just like everyone else. 
As we get into level four, we're starting to get a little bit of sparkle and starting to shine just a tiny bit.
Level 4: You're seen  
At this level, we start to shine. If we have a neutral place on the scale, or middle point, we are now past that and crossing into shine territory. If you are a level four, you're being seen. You show up, and people see you, and people know you're there, and people meet you. They may even get a feeling about you, but it's more of an external, shallow feeling. You're simply seen. It's not that you're shallow. It's that the way they're experiencing you is in a shallow capacity.
Level 5: Being witnessed 
If we go a little bit further towards shining, we're being witnessed. Being witnessed means you're not only seen, but you share, by communicating in one way or another. You share, and people get a greater understanding of who you are. You're discussing something. You grab a microphone or you ask a question. You're on stage discussing something. You open up a little bit more and when you're being witnessed, you're seen for some of the things that make you unique, so maybe your values, your gifts, your skills come out more truly of who you are. 
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You are seen in a way so people can begin to appropriately define you and describe you to someone else. If you think of someone you have just seen around, maybe you’ve seen them in various places, or at select events. You can SEE them, but you don't really know them. It's like we're witnessing people, but you don't have the deep understanding, you're not fully pulled in, however, you start to see a little bit of the underneath. That underneath starts to make you be like, “Wow, this is a really cool person, I really like this person.” You're witnessing them in who they are, how they are. You're seeing that deeper part. 
Level 6: Shining
Your deeper inner self is seen by others. It's kind of hard when you go to some events, and you don't really have the time to talk to anybody. Or if you host a party or a dinner and you don't have time to make those deep one-on-one connections with your guests. That's if you are a shining person, and then in those instances, you're like, “Ah, this sucks, I can’t connect with others.” 
When you're shining, you are in your core competencies. That means the gifts, the skills, the talents that you have. These are the things that people are destined to do. These are the things that you can use to leave a legacy. Before, people have said to me:
  • “Wow, Diane, when I see you on stage, you're shining.”
  • “When I see you working a room, like moving around a room or supporting clients, you're shining.” 
That's because in those moments, I am maybe smiling. I'm beaming with excitement and you can feel my heart in those cases. 
My friend posted a picture of herself on social media and I stopped scrolling. Even though it wasn't the best quality photo, I couldn't stop staring because I could see her spirit and the essence of who she is shining out of this photo of her. She said, “This is how I feel. This picture shows how I feel as a person.” I agreed because that's exactly how I see her. 
We maybe aren't shining to everyone or in every moment (we’re not meant to). We should feel privileged to see someone else when they're shining… to witness that and then be in the presence of it is pretty amazing and even better to be shining yourself. 
But the key thing around shining is that we need to do it more. Think of the moments you were shining and go do more of it! 
In my next blog, I will share with you the five steps you can take when someone is trying to dull your sparkle.
P.S. Be supported by a community of female business leaders who come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired. Join the free community Dynamic Women Global Community. 
Read my other blogs here: 
1. How to Figure Out What You Want
2. Your Travel Bucket List!
3. What's it like being a Business leader and a parent
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