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It might be time for you to kill off your alter ego, like Eminem killed off Slim Shady. This is a continuation of my previous blog, I’ve Outgrown that Old Version of Me.  I'm going to share what Eminem went through, why he created the alter ego, why he killed him off, and how this is seen in women's journeys, maybe in your journey, and what you can do about it. Eminem’s Journey Now, whether you know about him or not, I'll just give you a quick recap. By no means am I a mega fan or super knowledgeable, but I did some research and curated a few stats or facts about Eminem. It all started from me hearing something on the radio about how Eminem was saying, “I can't do the music of the past because I'm older, I'm a father. I'm in my 40s. People look at me and go, ‘Man, you're too old to sing that type of music.’” And he said, "I create this new music that is more in tune with who I am now." But fans some fans still say, "Oh, man, I wish I could hear his old stuff." That could be where you are in life right now, where the old stuff is not really you anymore, but people resonate with it or connect with it, or that's how they know you. You desire doing the new stuff because it feels more in tune with who you are now. The alter ego, the past version of you, the older version of you, or the 1.0 version of you may need to be ended. Now, let's look first at Eminem. Eminem went through a lot of personal struggles. That's why he created Slim Shady. This persona, who actually is a little bit more dark, rude, more bold. But he did it because he was broke. He had big financial struggles. This is before he was the Eminem we know today. He had all these financial struggles and wasn't making money doing his music. His music really had no traction. His music career was stagnant. He was also feeling like he wanted an outlet to express his emotions, his frustrations, his dark thoughts. He felt that if he did it as himself, as Eminem, or Marshall Mathers, that he would be judged for it, that it would be like, "He not a cool guy because look at all this dark stuff, all this negative stuff." He didn't want to be judged, and so he thought, "Well, if I do it as the alter ego, then I have this outlet to be able to say all this stuff. But if anyone comes at me, I can be like, 'Oh, that's just Slim Shady.'" It gave him that creative freedom. Slim Shady allowed him to really explore a more unfiltered, rebellious side. Alter Egos and Women Sometimes, in the beginning of our careers, being a mom in new friends circles, or in running our own businesses, we follow that expression "fake it till you make it."  We become who we think other people need us to be, or we become the person who we think is supposed to be in that position. But it's not authentic to who we are. It could be someone appearing bolder than who we are, more confident, maybe more sarcastic, coming out with a little bit more ego than we normally would, or trying to act like you don't care, when really you do care and you have a big heart. Other musicians have created alter egos. Beyonce has an alter ego named Sasha Fierce. Lady Gaga is not Lady Gaga in real life. She’s Stefani Germanotta. Gaga is a character that she's playing. Mariah Carey has an alter ego, Biana Storm, who started in a music video. Other people have done it too, but now I'm going to bring it back to our lives. There are women who have outgrown the old version and those who feel like they had to be someone different from themselves or in order to get through a specific time. They stepped into being what they thought they needed to be, and now they've come to a realization, “That's not for me anymore.” What happened for Eminem He realized that Slim Shady was negatively impacting him. Being in that negative, rebellious place, the dark thoughts were causing him to self-medicate by using substances. It almost cost him his career, his family, his life. Over time, he decided, "I'm going to get sober." In getting sober, he's moving away from this alter ego as well. Different resources say he's been sober for 16 years. Congratulations to him, and he feels his life has improved so much since he's moved away from this persona. We often play a persona in the world, and then we come home, and we're very different people, especially for women in top leadership roles. They maybe feel like they have to be tough. They have to be more masculine than they normally would be. It's funny, you see this often in business owners, and women in newer or higher positions. They'll have this certain persona in the beginning, and then over time, they seem to change, and hopefully they're changing to become the more authentic version of themselves. Now, for Eminem, he knew times were changing as well, so the way he was being before, for his fan base, it was a match. But as he grew, and he's in his 40s and has kids, his fans have grown and have families, and the antics of Slim Shady are not in alignment anymore with his original fan base. He's like, "Well, if they're not really relating to this, and it's not relevant to them, why would I continue?" Now, it doesn't mean he can't still play that music, especially at concerts, because his people want to hear the songs. I'm sure you've heard that line, "Will the real Slim Shady please stand up." I'm not going to rap at all, especially not with Eminem's content because he is the master of rapping. But he has evolved. He has grown up. He is more, I would say, confident in who he is, and he likes himself. In the beginning, when you hear about all these struggles, he wasn't really liking himself, so he had to come up with this other persona. How many times have we created a persona, an alter ego, because we don't like ourselves, because we don't feel like we're enough? I'm going to share a little bit about some concepts around alter egos, examples with Eminem and then with women and why we do it. I would love for you to think about how it shows up in your life. Concepts around alter egos and why we do it Concept 1: We Need to Acknowledge the Past is the Past Slim Shady represented a specific period in Eminem's life in the past, and it served a purpose in the past. For us as women, in women's journeys, we carry past versions of ourselves. Recently, my husband and I dropped off our kids to summer camp, and so we went to a restaurant, had a couple of drinks and some food, and they said, "Any other plans for today?" We said, "Well, we just dropped our kids off, so we're free.” We don't know what to do with ourselves because we haven't hung out for a week without the responsibility of children for 12 years. The younger version of me cared only for me and my loved ones. I wasn't responsible for another person's life. That past version of me I had to leave behind, the partying version of me. I can still have a good time, but that version of me doesn't serve a purpose today. Which past versions of you are you still carrying forward that don't serve a purpose anymore? We often develop these past identities as coping mechanisms for whatever we're going through, whatever life is, and so you might have been someone who shows up more powerful or even less powerful in order to fit in, but it's not who you authentically are. These are based on earlier experiences, earlier stages of life, but they don't fit into where you are now, because maybe now you are a mother, you are a wife, you are maybe caring for aging parents. You have your purpose in life. You're not just floating around anymore, and you get to that point where you're a little bit older, where you care a little bit less about what other people think of you, because you know you're authentically standing in who you are. Concept 2: The Need for Growth Eminem outgrew Slim Shady as he matured. As we mature, we face new challenges, and we need to bring in our stronger identities. You may find your old identities no longer serve you.
Growth requires a shedding of these outdated versions of you. It's not to say these outdated versions are wrong, because if we look at Eminem's success, they came because he used the confidence, creativity and freedom that Slim Shady gave him to get him where he is now. But the key thing here is, what got you to where you are today isn't going to get you to where you want to be tomorrow. You have to shed those old versions. That will come up in future blogs. I'm going to talk more about how to do this, but if you're like, “Diane, I just need to know this now. I need to talk about it now.” Please email me at [email protected]. Let's have some coaching around this. Why do women need to do this? Well, it’s personal evolution, evolving as a person. Yes, that's true. It's not just career evolution or materialistic evolution. Who you are as a person means you need to adapt to new roles and responsibilities.  In the beginning, Eminem was not a father. When he became a father, things changed. If you see his social media or articles, you'll see how he is such a loving father. If we don't shed these outdated versions, these old patterns, these old ways of being, these old personas, these old alter egos, they will hold us back from progress and fulfillment. If you keep them around, you're going to slip back into them. It's comfy. But the problem is, you're not going to get the results you want. Concept 3: Internal and Outer Conflict Now we're facing this inner conflict. That's why we also have to kill off the old personas. Eminem was confronting the decisions. “Do I move away from Slim Shady when people love him? Do I move away from Slim Shady because he made me successful? Do I move away from Slim Shady? Can I do it on my own? I don't know.” He is in an inner conflict. He's in this place of battling who he was and who he wants to be, and he has to decide, “Can I be both? Do I stay in the one, even though it doesn't feel right anymore, or do I move into the new, even though that feels scary?” As women, we are constantly evolving, and we're facing this internal conflict of, do we let go of what is familiar? Do we stay where we are, but have limited results, limited ways of being, limited growth? Or do we step into the scary part? We battle our fears. We battle our doubts. We battle societal expectations of us up until this point. We need to end that inner conflict by letting go of these familiar roles. Yes, it can be scary, but letting go of them so that we can step into who we know we want to be, need to be and are authentically ourselves. We have to keep doing it because societal expectations will often push us back into the old identities and reinforce those outdated identities for us. I'm sure there are many music critics that said,
The thing is, there will be backlash from the people who benefited from the old way of you were being because it benefited them. A lot of times with my clients, when we start to set boundaries like, “No, I'm not going to do that anymore.” “No, I'm not accepting the way you're talking to me anymore”, because we're stepping into a stronger, more authentic version of ourselves. That's when other people don't get what they want. They're going to push back, and they're going to say, “You've changed. Things aren't the same.” Well, of course, because they're not allowed to walk all over you anymore. They're not allowed to get what they want anymore, because you're not going to deal with it. There's not just inner conflict you're going to face. There's outer conflict with people. That's why having a strong support network around you is important, and having a coach to help you through it is important. Concept 4: Transformation and Empowerment Eminem killing off Slim Shady is actually a powerful act of self empowerment. He's saying, “I don't need this persona anymore. I don't need this alter ego to be successful anymore. I can be me, the singer, Eminem. I can be me and I can be successful still.” You have to embrace this transformation, and that's going to mean letting go of that old self, old version, the old persona. When you do that, it is empowering. I've had so many iterations of me, all just a little level up from the previous version. Plus, that meant letting go of the old ways I was doing things, the old ways I'm showing up. There is an edgier, feistier, more provoking side of me. It's not all, “Oh, I am kind and I follow the rules.”  No, there is this edgier version of me that is starting to be shown into the outer world more. My friends get it. My family gets it. My clients get it. My comedy audiences get it. But I haven't put it out to the full world and been this way, which is causing strife and friction for me. We need to embrace that transformation and align it with our current values. I think that was the problem for Eminem. Slim Shady doesn't represent his values. His new values are rooted in much better things, I'm sure, especially with him being a father and growing up that Slim Shady is dishonoring his values. If you are feeling off, it could be that this old persona, this way of your being, is actually going against your values. Think about that one for a moment. Empowerment comes from reclaiming your true identity. Even if you're like, “But I love this way of being”, well, is it actually who you are now? When you allow yourself to transform, you will have greater authenticity, greater self-expression and greater success. Practical Steps I'm going to share with you a couple of thoughts here, but I'll go more in depth in the next blog.
What are the next steps? Practice some self reflection, set some boundaries, and adopt new habits. These pieces are going to be the whole next blog. Sign up here to get my blogs and podcasts sent right to your inbox. Concept 5: Celebrate this New Identity It's important to celebrate this new identity. Eminem found renewed purpose after moving on from Slim Shady, and he embraced his new identity. I want to change that statement from embracing his new identity to embracing the authentic version of himself. You may say, “Well, why is he going by the name Eminem?” Well, it's a band name. It's a music name. That's fine. He has his regular name, Marshall Mathers, but Slim Shady was the additional character that was created. It doesn't mean you have to change your name, but we're going to celebrate the new version of you. If you're thinking, “Well, I don't know fully what the new version is.” Okay, email me. Let's do some one-on-one coaching to figure that out. Embracing self discovery is important here. Embracing your confidence, embracing your potential, so giving space for that newness to come in. You need to celebrate your new identity because it will reinforce this positive change. It's going to affirm this journey of personal development. It's going to build confidence, and you're going to grow in the future. Stay tuned for the next blog. If you feel that I can be of service to you, coaching you through any of these pieces, please reach out to me at [email protected] and let's have a chat about how I can support you to step into the more authentic version of you, the more kick butt version of you, the more enlightened version of you, the more powerful version. Even if you don’t feel it now or know what it is, we're going to tap into it and push it forward so you’re super clear on what it is and how you can show up in the world as who you're meant to be. Read my other blogs:
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Happy New Year! Happy 2024! Thinking about how to start off the year on the right foot? I've got seven tips for you.  By going through these different pieces, it's going to prepare you to:
Basically, all the things you're wanting, especially after the way the past few years have been. As I go through these tips, take some notes, and write them down. I'm going to give you different tips for you to implement. Also, in case you missed it, the doors are open for the Dynamic Year Program, that’s definitely how you’re going to not only be able to set a really great foundation for 2024, but also create your dynamic blueprint. The plan includes your theme, your goals, and all the other pieces, needed to have the dynamic year that you deserve. So check it out here. Tip #1: Make yourself a priority and organize your space This is actually two-fold, and it's more about yourself and your space so that you can really get into all the other six points. The first one is to make yourself a priority - your self-care. Now is the time to be able to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. This could include things like:
Or whatever it is to really recenter yourself. Give yourself that rest, relaxation, and recharge that is needed to start the year right. I know you've been really busy probably over the holiday season, and we want to ease in and ensure we're all set to go. Get organized is the other piece of it. Starting off the new year with a clean, organized space can really help you to feel more productive and be more focused. Take some time to declutter. You can donate a bunch of stuff or sell things off, and do a general cleaning of your home and work space. If you’re worried that, “I’ve got to get down to business, Diane, it is chaos in here!” then I have one recommendation. Go to your local store and pick up some bins or get some cardboard boxes. If your desk is a mess, throw stuff in it. If the side of your bed is a mess, throw stuff in it. Do this if you don't have the time to put things away properly right now, and you need to start working instead. Empty those spaces so that you have an opportunity to have clarity, and then set time in your calendar when you'll focus on emptying those boxes, maybe 10 minutes every day, moving forward. Tip #2: Take some time to reflect Now that you've got yourself recharged and your space ready, we want to have some time to reflect on the past year. This is something that we do in the Dynamic Year Program. I have a really amazing, proven step-by-step formula in order to take you through this. Let me just explain what it is so that you have that in your mind right now. Take some time to think about every area of your life over the past year. What worked well for you and what didn't work well for you, and you're going to use this reflection time to educate yourself. In our process, we grab the wisdom, and we do all the steps so you can use this to create your goals and priorities for the next year. Reflecting on the past year is not just about what were the good and bad things, it's more intricate about what got you there, who were you being, and what were you doing. Tip #3: Celebrate your successes Don’t just look at what went well or bad in the past year or what worked and didn’t work, and figure out what you’d do better next time. Instead, when you capture the great things that happened, spend some time to celebrate them. It's really important that we celebrate our achievements.  I see so often that high-achieving A-type of clients of mine, they're like, “Yeah, achieved that. Check. Next. Yep, achieved that. Check. Next.” They don't spend time to celebrate. If you have listened to me talk about the motivation mountain, it's so important to celebrate these successes when we're at the top of the mountain because at some point we’re going to have to run down the mountain, and then up the next one. That process can be tiring. As you go towards another goal, you can get tired, but when you celebrate your achievements, you can actually feel what it's like to be on top. You feel those moments of success, and it's going to help you to get through the hard times when you say, “I need some energy, inspiration, perseverance. I need to know I can do this.” The motivation and confidence from celebrating can help carry us to the top of the next goal. So celebrate the successes at the high points, to get through the lows. It's also going to help you feel good about your progress, and feel good about yourself. Celebrate all types of achievements, big and small. Tip #4: Set specific and achievable goals Once you've done those steps, it's time to start setting some goals. There are a few more steps that I do in the Dynamic Year Program before we make goals, like setting your theme, values, guidelines, and new paradigm, but for this I’ll share about setting specific achievable goals for the new year. Obviously, we want SMART goals. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Bound) or I like to add the E and R as well. E is for Evaluation, and R is for Review and Redo if needed. When you make your goals, create them for all areas of your life. I use the Wheel of Life - a professional coaching tool. My wheel has 10 areas on it (If you want a copy of it, please send my team an email at [email protected] or email me at [email protected] with the subject line “Wheel of Life Please”) and that's going to help you create specific goals in every area of your life, like your career, your personal development, your health, and your relationships, etc. without going against goals in other areas. When you have clearly defined goals, SMARTER goals that are written down, it's going to give you direction, and it's also going to give you motivation. Tip #5: Reach out for support In going through all of these tips, you might have thought ‘Oh, that's a lot to do on my own’ so the next tip is to reach out for support. You shouldn't be afraid to ask for help or support. It's actually a smart thing to do. How many people out there who are in sports just try to do it all themselves? They don't. They have coaches. They have trainers. They have different people that support them, and the same goes for your goal setting. This will help you have a process for the end of the year, going into the new year, and even creating goals.  Don't be afraid to ask for help or support when you need it. Maybe it's from friends, from family, or from a professional (like me), but having someone to talk to and lean on can be so helpful in achieving your goals and staying on track. Smart people get support. How many CEOs out there are doing everything on their own? If you're a small business owner, you're probably trying to do it all on your own. But Fortune 500 companies, big companies, and successful multi-billion dollar companies have support to get things done and for strategy. Tip #6: Create a plan for achieving your goals A lot of times people make goals and that's amazing. If you write them down, they get closer to being living goals, but if you don't have a plan for your goals, you probably won't be able to achieve them. If you do, it's based on luck, or a fluke, or you're not going to be as efficient as you possibly could. Personally, I love making dynamic goals. One goal that, if planned properly, will help you achieve up to five goals. Doesn't that sound amazing? I'm all about efficiency and productivity, and that's the way to do it. I do that with my clients in the Dynamic Year Program. When you do look at your goals, how can you plan to focus on that one goal and have it help you to achieve multiple goals? It is possible. With your plan, it’s really important to break your goals down into actionable steps. A lot of times goals feel way too big, but if your goal is to make an extra $100,000 this year, and you're feeling like, “How am I ever going to do that?” Well, you're not going to do it by January, but what you could do is make $9,000 every month, that works out to an extra $2,000 a week. Could you do that? Now it's starting to sound more possible. So what are the steps and the actions to get there? Does that sound a little bit more achievable and doable? That's why we want to break them down and have a plan to get there so that in November and December, we're not in that crunch time and super stressed about not being able to get there. It's not just enough to have the goal, you need to know how to make it into actionable steps. Tip #7: Let go of negative habits and thoughts As you're going through all these steps, I'm guessing you've heard limiting beliefs, the saboteur, or little gremlin on your shoulder, saying negative things to you. My last tip is to let go of negative habits and thoughts. As you do these steps, if you hear something, write it down because if there are negative habits or thoughts that are holding you back, you have to make a special effort to let them go. If the negative thought is, “How can I ever achieve that?” Write that down. Now, you need to answer that, "How can I ever achieve that?” or “I'm not smart enough”. Okay, well, what will make you smarter? Do you need to do research? Do you need to hire someone to help you? Do you need to read a book about it? What is going to help you to get there? If you have bad habits, like procrastination, scrolling through Facebook, or any social media platform endlessly, hours at a time, or even minutes at a time when you want to be doing other things. Maybe another bad habit is not eating right, not drinking enough water, or not sleeping enough. We need to let go of these negative habits in January, so that we have a chance for the rest of the year, to be able to really push through and get everything done that we want to achieve. The key thing is, I want you to get to the end of the year and look back and say, “Wow, that was the best year ever. I thought last year was pretty good. But this year was amazing.” To get to the end of the year and have no regrets, “I was so good. I did what I wanted to do.” I know that sometimes you set certain things to do, and it doesn't pan out how you wanted it to, but there'll be other things that you’ll achieve along the way and if you are able to do these seven things, I promise you, you're going to have a better year. If you can do these things in January, even better, set some time in your calendar to be able to go through and do these. Wrapping Up I hope that these seven tips are going to help you start off the new year on a positive note. I'm trusting that by going through these tips you're going to have an even better year. Now, if you want to have a dynamic year, I encourage you to check out the Dynamic Year™ program. Come join me and a bunch of other dynamic leaders to not only coming up with your goals, but being able to properly review the year to grab the golden nuggets and create your Dynamic Life Blueprint. I have a bunch of tools in the dynamic year plan will help you as the year goes on, to make better decisions, to be more confident to have a better plan in place, and then to have quarterly check-ins throughout the year to keep you accountable. That's what the program offers. Check it out. I really would love to see you in there. Until next time, stay dynamic and have a wonderful happy new year! Take care. Read my other blogs:
Are you wanting to ditch the stuck feeling for good?  I recently went live in my Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook and interacted with some of the members and talked about this stuck feeling. It sucks terribly when you feel like you can't get out of the muck. Maybe you have felt like that or feel like that now. There's no right turn showing itself, but you want to make progress. Then why are you sabotaging yourself? I am going to share a little bit with you about what has worked for me to get into action and find the motivation to ditch the stuck feeling for good. This is a work in progress, and I'm not giving you a one-solution-fits-all approach. I'm going to go through some of the processes I use in order to be able to get unstuck. I've had times when I've been crazy stuck for months or even years. Then I've had other times where I'm just stuck for 10 minutes. This process can be used in any of these situations, in any length of time, and in any area of life. A little backstory I host the Dynamic Women Global Community. I started the community back in 2013 to meet my need for not just surface-level networking but for a deeper connection with other women in business. I noticed that some of my clients were being looked over for their profession because other people were treating them like a sale or as less than. So I knew I wanted to create a space for women to come together and be respected. I also started this because when you’re older, it’s harder to make new friends. If you try to form a friendship with people in business by inviting them for coffee, you can seem too forward or that you want to sell to them, and it's uncomfortable. We started as a live event community. I was running it in eight different cities, so eight different locations and eight different events every single month. Now because of COVID and a bunch of other reasons, we are online. What is it to feel stuck How you know when you're stuck? If we are trying to go and do something or if we're trying to make something happen in our business or our lives, maybe it's a big goal we've had like:
…whatever it may be, you could feel that, “I'm not moving forward”, and it's horrible, and the longer you stay in that feeling of not moving forward, it’s going to start to completely erode your confidence. It's going to have you doubt yourself more. Limiting beliefs are going to come in. You have to switch yourself out of feeling stuck. You HAVE to before you get stuck there. I'm going to give you a one-size-fits-all in one regard, but it has to be customized to you. As a certified life coach and the asker of powerful questions, I'll ask you questions today as well. But if you still feel like this is not enough, I really encourage you to reach out to me by sending me an email at [email protected]. For me, I can't get unstuck a lot of times by myself, even though I'm using my own practices that I use on my clients because it's in the conversation with someone else, especially a trained professional which helps you move forward. You're feeling stuck. You're not making progress. You're not moving forward. You may feel like the right solution isn't presenting itself, or “I don't know what the next step is.” Or you might be asking yourself, “Why am I sabotaging myself? Why am I not moving forward? Why am I not doing the things I know I need to do?” In my previous blogs, I've talked about how it took me forever to be able to start my health journey. Now, in my case, I didn't have the right motivation. Maybe you're also stuck because you don't have the right motivation. When I was younger, the motivation was, “I am going to get healthy, so I look good.” Honestly, I kind of care about looking good. It wasn't happening for that reason. Am I motivated to lose weight because it's important to my health? I knew that that was true, but didn’t motivate me. I want to get healthier and lose weight so that I can fit into my clothes. Well, I wanted that, but I just kept buying bigger clothes. I was looking for the right motivation to get unstuck. Even seeing photos of myself wasn't the piece that pushed me. When I looked at photos, and I surprisingly said, “Oh my goodness. I don't know I looked like that,” that still wasn't the right motivation. I was stuck in all of these places because I hadn't done enough deep work to figure out what my motivation was. Now the universe gave it to me by injuring my knee and then talking to an orthopedic surgeon about my knee. The only thing that we could do is strengthen around the knee and lose weight.
Ask yourself right now. For what you're wanting, what is your motivation for going there? Maybe you haven't found the right motivation. Ask yourself, what is your WHY for this thing you're wanting?
When we tap into that deeper why, that creates the motivation that gets us into action. Finding the reason why you’re stuck Here are some reasons for feeling stuck which were shared by the women in my community:
Let me go into the reason why you're stuck. The one thing I do is I ask myself, “What am I stuck on? What is causing me to be stuck here?” I'm going to give an example of writing my very first book Dynamic You, which is the nine pillars of a dynamic woman. Why was I stuck on it? I was just not writing it. Here are some questions to find out WHY you are stuck: #1: “Am I stuck because I don't have enough information?” Meaning, maybe I don't know how to write a book, or I don't know what I'm going to write about. I don't know if I should self-publish. I don't know if I should go through a publishing company. I don't have enough information to move on this. When I look at Lilian's “feeling stuck on launching something new”, so this is maybe a new program or a new offering. She could ask herself, “Do I have enough information to know how to launch it, to know what I'm launching, to know the best marketing strategy for doing it, to know if my audience will actually buy it? Is there some information I need there?” Lisa says that she feels stuck about reinventing herself. Again, is there not enough information on what the next steps could be or how to get the clarity? #2: “Is this the right decision?” The next thing to ask yourself is, “Is this the right decision?” With Paula’s example about reimagining what she’s going to do for her dissertation, so she went one route and thought, “This doesn't feel like the right decision”, so now she's going a different route, and needs to ask herself, “Is this the right decision?” We can feel stuck because the right decision hasn't presented itself yet. I'll tell you, I’ve experienced being in that place of stuckness for years. Every time I thought I gained some traction, I'd have life hit me with something major, which caused me to have to pause:
Just check in with yourself and ask yourself, “Is this the right decision that I'm making?” Like for Paula, “I'm going to do my dissertation on this topic. Is this the right decision?” If you're 80% there, you just have to choose the first small step. If you are really doubting it, the only way you're going to know is to take the next step or to take a further step back. Either way, get some support to talk it through so that you can see all options because maybe your blinders are on or to have someone else say what they see in you. Because like the Les Brown quote, “When you're in the frame, you can't see the picture.” Many times I have been wondering, “I don't know what the answer is. I'm looking for it. I can't find it. What is it?” A coach has said to me, “Isn't it this? Isn't it this thing right in front of you?” and I've replied, “Ah, you're right. It totally is.” Having someone else say that to me has been so helpful. You either don't have enough information or you don't know if it's the right decision.  #3: Do I have enough confidence? The next reason why you may be stuck is that you don't have enough confidence. “Well, I don't know if I can market myself to clients because I don't know if I'm good at it enough.” Or it might be, “I'm feeling not so confident in what I'm offering.” Check in with how much confidence is there and maybe where it's lacking, you might need to have a little bolster or a little boost. #4: Are there people disagreeing? The fourth thing might be that other people are disagreeing. Lisa said, “Each time I think I find a rhythm life throws me another in a different direction, time availability, availability changes, and I have to rethink things. Makes me feel stuck thinking about reinventing again.” Maybe as she even reinvents herself, she has someone else say, “Are you sure about that?” It's really funny because even though I have already lost 40 pounds, there are still other people who are trying to tell me what I should do:
I think, “Wait a second, I've done this for six months. I've followed a coach, her plan and I'm getting crazy good results.” People are trying to get me stuck again. Now thankfully, I have enough traction and progress that other people disagreeing or giving me other ideas doesn’t phase me. I'm just like, “Whatever, not interested.” Check in on these 4 areas to see, What makes you stuck? Even just looking at what Sandra has said, she’s stuck getting clients and marketing to get more clients. I feel like that could be a confidence thing. That can also be a not enough information to know if you're doing the right steps. Maybe you don't have a plan. But she then said, “I'm happiest when I'm in the zone and helping others.” Yeah, you're in your zone of genius when you're doing the stuff you’re good at. It might be time to hire out the rest. The thing about being a business owner is we have all of these other positions we have to hold to have the business run. I love doing my videos, and recording my podcast. I love speaking to you. I love sharing this. This is my zone of genius. Me sitting behind a computer and writing a book, not what I want to be doing. That’s why my blogs comes from my videos and podcasts. (I edit the transcript that my VA has formatted for me.) Why I felt stuck writing a book I'm going to talk through my example of writing a book and how I felt stuck. I already gave the example of my health journey, and how I was stuck for a long time, and how I eventually got the right motivation. I was stuck writing a book. Why? Because my perception of writing a book was I need to sit behind a computer, and I need to type by myself and write. I did not have enough information. I didn't know there were other ways to do a book. Am I making the right decision? I knew I was making the right decision to write a book. I didn't fully have the right motivation either. Did I have enough confidence writing a book? Not really because I don't feel like I'm an amazing writer. I don't enjoy writing. It's funny because spelling was my worst skill, yet I majored in English at university as one of my majors. (I did a double major.) Then other people were saying I needed to write the book, and a lot of people were telling me that writing a book is really hard. It's not. You just need the right strategy in place. I didn't know the strategies to write a book. I didn't know the ease of writing a book. Do you know what eventually unstuck me? A deadline. I needed a deadline. Sometimes that's just the way to get you unstuck is just to make a fricking deadline for it. My deadline was kind of imposed on me. I was speaking on the phone with the organizers at a women's conference in Washington State that wanted to bring me down to open and close a big conference for women. I was jazzed. They're going to pay me my full fee, fly me in, and cover a couple nights at a hotel, all this amazing stuff. Then I realized at the time, I didn't have a visa to work in the States. I wasn't allowed really to go and speak. There was a chance I could get turned away at the border. In the last second, I said, “Okay, well, actually, I have a different idea. How about we do this where you buy enough copies of my book for everyone in the audience and we’ll have that Oprah moment, ‘You get a book, you get a book, and you get a book’. Then I'll come in and speak for free.” They were floored, “Oh, my gosh, that's so generous of you. Are you sure? We can pay your fee and buy the books.” I'm like, “No, no, no, let me do this for you.” They said, “Give us the link, and we'll go and buy them today.” I said, “Oh, I'm just re-editing it. I'll let you know when the link is live.” I hung up the phone, called my friend and said, “Well, I guess I have to write my book now.” There's a bigger, bigger version of that story, but that's the quick version. I'm telling you this because the deadline forced me to write the book. For Lilian who's feeling stuck on launching something new, you just got to put it out there and put a date on when it's happening. As soon as somebody puts money out for it, then you got to do it. In my case, I knew I had to have the book at that hotel for that big event in just 90 days. The first time I saw the book was when I opened the box in my hotel room the night before I spoke. It was exciting! For my next approach - the “How Can I” approach. I will talk about it in my next blog, so stay tuned! P.S. Have you joined the Dynamic Women Global Community? It’s a free online community for female business leaders to come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired! Read my other blogs here:
March 20 is International Day of Happiness. However, the world right now does not feel very happy, does it? With everything going on in Ukraine, everything we're seeing on the news about the destruction, about all the refugees having to flee, it's hard to be in our own happiness. However, we do need to be coming from a place of our own happiness because we are the only ones responsible for our happiness. A lot of times, people get married, they join companies etc. and are expecting that other person or expecting the company, their job, their career, the money, whatever it is to bring them happiness. However, we are all in charge of our own happiness.  Today, I'm going to share about owning your own happiness, sharing happiness, and some really great actions for happiness. International Day of Happiness This campaign is a global celebration to mark the United Nations’ International Day of Happiness. It's actually coordinated by Action for Happiness, a nonprofit movement of people from 160 countries, supported by a partnership of like-minded organizations. Canada was ranked 15th last year in happiest people in the world. It’s maybe lower due to COVID or because of the floods and fires, the protests, inflation and all the unrest that we've been feeling right now. The top seven countries are Finland, Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland, Netherlands, Luxembourg, and Sweden. Most of them are European countries, and I'm not going to go into why they're happier because I really want to bring it back to where we are and what we can do in our daily lives. Owning our happiness As I said, we are in charge of our own happiness, but society values certain aspects of our life to make us happy. We look to outward accomplishments, outward material goods like our house, cars, clothes etc. that we earn or buy. But the problem is we're not looking towards what truly makes US happy. I'll share a little bit about where I am right now. I'm hanging out in Ontario. I'm in my mom's guest room. This is one of the places where I am happiest - puzzling with my mom, sitting and watching the news or different TV shows together. We like anything that includes animals like the vet shows or the dancing shows. Sometimes even game shows. It's the simplicity of that. They bring me joy. Also, for me, it's walking in the sun. It's the laughter with friends and family. These are the simple joys that maybe during COVID, you found again. In my coaching world, I focus on having people switch from measuring their success in life for happiness and instead looking to their satisfaction. When it comes from success, we ask ourselves…
Where really we should be measuring our life and our happiness according to how SATISFIED we are. We would ask ourselves…
If you look at your life right now, how would you score your life based on success? And how would you score your life based on satisfaction? I do have a tool that I use to do this. But if you just gave yourself a number for both of them, what would it be? I get that there are different areas of life. I actually have 10 of them. By going through that, you can also see which areas are higher and in which areas are lower. But a lot of times, when I first work with someone and I ask what the number was for each area and I ask them why, they might say,
So again, it comes back to the things that we have… the things that we accomplish or earn. In the About section of dayofhappiness.net, I love this paragraph that says, “A profound shift in attitudes is underway all over the world. People are now recognising that 'progress' should be about increasing human happiness and wellbeing, not just growing the economy.” Some people tell me that they're happiest on vacation, and I asked why. They say, “Because I get to slow down. I get to sleep in. I get to cherish the moments and hang out with friends and have new experiences, and live slower.”  No one's talking about how they achieved all these things on their vacation. What if we brought the things that seem only worthy of vacation into our regular days, for example:
These are the joyful moments, but yet we look to material items and accomplishments because we consider them to be so much bigger. With everything that's going on in the world today, happiness is not about the big material purchases or the achievements. It's about the little things in life. The little moments where we really get to enjoy ourselves. Back in 2015, the Day of Happiness campaign was focused on relationships. It says on the website, “We are a social species, and we thrive on we're closely connected to others. But modern society is leaving more and more people feeling disconnected, isolated, and lonely.” Where can you connect with another person in a real way like stopping by with some freshly picked flowers from your garden or inviting them over to have grilled cheese and soup? It doesn't have to be something major. Relationships. That's how we can share happiness, be part of more happiness and take action. Maybe you never thought about taking action toward your happiness. I kind of forgot about this for a while. I was just in the busy schedule of life and focusing on all the responsibilities I had. Like taking care of two kids and trying to get fit again after all the physical injuries and then having COVID. It wasn't until my counselor said, “Well, what in your life makes you happy? Are you choosing to do the things that make you happy?” This week, while I've been hanging out with my mom and with my family, I closed the computer. I just sat. I told stories. I listened to stories. I asked questions. I looked out the window and watched the birds. I chose happiness. I consciously made the decision to do activities for my happiness now. Now, why bother? With all the negativity in the world, we need to recharge. We need to refuel. We need to have our cups filled. We are so depleted. Maybe you're thinking, “I'm not depleted.” Maybe it hasn't hit you yet or maybe you are not living at your highest level of happiness. When a friend wanted to set up a meal train for me when my son broke his femur, I said, “Oh, we're okay.” Because I thought financially, we can just pay for meals. Plus there’s me and my husband so both of us can tackle this. Yes, we didn't have any family around, but I thought we'll get through this. It'll be okay. I just went into grin and bare-it mode and checked things off. I said, “No, we're good. We can handle this.” She said, “But for how long can you keep your head above water?” You might not even know you're treading water. But it might just take one more thing. We've had COVID. We've had protests. We've had natural disasters. Now, the war in Ukraine. There are a lot of things pulling at us: responsibilities, wearing masks, not wearing masks, vaccines, financial disturbances. Taking action on your happiness, I'd say is one of the critical things we need to do today to build up our energy and emotional reserves so that we don't get depleted. This is also a little message I'm reminding myself. Dr. Mark Williamson said, “The International Day of Happiness is more than just a fun celebration. It also reminds us all that the world is a better place when we connect with and care about the people around us.” Simple steps for Happiness Step one: I encourage you to choose one activity, one thing, or make one choice for your own happiness.  Step two: Reach out to someone else, and do something where you get to share happiness in relationship with them. Then why not have this be a bit of a movement? This leads me to the third step. Step three: Post online about your happiness. What makes you happy? Maybe it's a photo of you with your dog by the beach. Maybe it is a bike ride with a friend. Share it to be a leader of a movement where we choose to own our happiness, increase it and create more happiness in the lives of others. How often do we get together and whine? It's a whine and wine Fest. What if we change the conversations to “What brought you joy this week?” “What made you happy?” They are simple steps, yet things we don't do because of the heaviness of the world and all of our responsibilities. We have a chance here. Not just on this one day, but every single day. So I hope you choose happiness. I hope you share happiness with others. I'd love to hear the things that you do for your happiness to inspire me and for me to be able to share it with others as well. So choose to be happy and to own your happiness! Read my other blogs here:
Are you wondering if you're a workaholic? Or are you wearing the badge of being a workaholic with pride?  Today we're going to talk about how to know if you're a workaholic and how it's hurting you. But first, I invite you to answer my FREE quiz How Much of A Workaholic Are You because if you’re reading this blog, you probably have a strong inclination that you are a workaholic. Oftentimes in society, being a workaholic shows you're passionate about what you do and you're proud of what you do. People clap for you. People say, “Oh, wow, you're so busy” and “Oh, you're doing so many great things”. Workaholics are often rewarded at work. They set the bar so high that the company thinks, “Wow, they’re such a model employee. They're working so hard.” But working that much could be damaging to themselves and to others. Let me go through some different aspects of how to know if you're a workaholic and how each of them is hurting you. #1: You work longer hours than others. This can show up in different ways. If you work in a company, you’re first in the office and you’re last to leave. If you have your own business, you’re working into the night or maybe you miss dinner because you're working late or you finish at five, but then you go back to it for another round between seven and ten. For moms out there, I know this often happens because your kids come home at three, so you're working later in the day to catch up on those two missed hours. How this hurts you: Working longer hours can lead to burnout. Plus, it's taking away the time you have to be off. You end up feeling ON all the time. It also sets precedence especially if you are at a company where they expect you to produce that high level of work or that amount of work because you're working more hours and when you try to reduce the hours, you're not going to be able to get the same results. It's just not possible. #2: Your default is work. You have a couple of free hours here or there and you directly go to work. I see this a lot in my entrepreneurial clients. You then have a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon free, so what do you decide to do? You decide to work. You're always turning to work rather than other things. How this hurts you: When your default is work, that's the thing that consumes most of your time and your energy, rather than the other things. You’ll be off balance and without rest you’ll get burnt out. #3: Your fun and recreation part of life is lacking. If we look at the “Wheel of Life” (I do a wheel with 10 different areas) and your fun and recreation part is lacking, it means you're not having fun. You don't have hobbies or other interests you get to enjoy. How this hurts you: The issue is you're now looking to your “work area” for all your fulfillment. You're not growing as a person in other ways. You're not able to just chill out and have fun and develop yourself. But when you don't have enough fun and recreation, then it feels scary to take time off. One of my clients in the past had a really hard time booking time off because with no fun and recreation, she was worried wondering, “What am I going to do when I'm not at work?” #4: You're always thinking about work. Let’s say you're at a dinner with girlfriends, but you're thinking about work. You could be hanging out with your kids, but you're thinking about work. You are on vacation, but you're thinking about work.  How this hurts you: Your brain is always at work. It just doesn't get time off. It doesn't have that opportunity to say, “Okay, work is over, so I can move into fun, and be present with my family.” Work is always running through your mind in the background. That's stressful. This can cause high-level of cortisol to be pumping in your system and the adrenal glands to be overworked, that can lead to the next problem. #5: Your stress is high. Whether you are feeling it physically, mentally or emotionally, stress is detrimental. How this hurts you: When your stress is high cortisol levels are high, your adrenal glands are pushing. This causes you to hold weight. I'm not a doctor, but I've gone through this myself. When your stress is high, you're getting headaches or body pains. You're maybe getting sick more because your body doesn't have time to rest and your mind doesn't have that time to be off. This can cause anxiety, panic attacks and for you to shut down. #6: You don't take proper vacations. Have you taken a 10-day vacation or a one-week vacation? What I've seen in clients is they will book time off, and they will fill those days catching up on work or planning for the next quarter. That's not the intention of a vacation. That's not the intention of taking time off. Time off means having time not ON your work. Maybe you’re thinking, “Yeah, I like working.” Well, maybe if you had the opportunity to lay on a beach, go on an adventure, take a cruise, go sightseeing, learn how to cook Thai food, or do a yoga retreat, then you'd allow yourself to have a proper vacation and you'd enjoy it. How this hurts you: When we don't have complete time off, it's hard to feel rested. You don’t have something to look forward to. You don't have new memories to reflect on. What I found in my recent vacation was I was able to connect more fully with who I am as a person, which was really amazing. #7: You choose work over personal commitments. Maybe on a Friday, you see you have a doctor's appointment, but there's a report you want to work on a little bit more, so you skip your doctor's appointment. Or maybe you're not even booking doctor's appointments at all. Or you're not giving yourself the opportunity to go to the gym because you have work to do. You're not doing date nights. You're not going to your kids’ events that are happening through school because you're choosing work. Maybe on the weekends you miss out on special events because you choose to work rather than choose to do the things in your life that are more personal and important to you in that regard because you're choosing work now. How this hurts you: Well, it's kind of obvious with the doctor stuff. Maybe you're in pain and you need to do physio or get a massage and now you're not, so now you're hurting even more. You're also telling yourself that you don't matter as much as work does, and you're going to push these things aside because they don't matter to you. Your circle and your bubble of life and experiences get very, very, very small. #8: You even work when you are sick or hurting. I'll admit I've been guilty of this. I had a speaking engagement, and I had food poisoning the night before and so the whole night I was hugging the toilet bowl (not literally). I still showered in the morning, got ready, and off I went. Not ideal. I did push through but it was for that specific occasion.  But when I got COVID, I took a week and a half off. Reduced my hours. I canceled things. I didn't push through and any other time now that I'm sick or hurt, I really try hard not to work. How this hurts you: When you do that, you risk the chance of (1) making others sick and (2) you’re going to extend the life of that illness or sickness or injury because you're not resting. #9: You work through your lunch. Lunch? What's lunch? I just sit and eat at my desk. I'm super guilty of this. It happens. How this hurts you: Some people are even guilty of skipping a meal which is not good for your energy levels and health. When you don't take a break, your brain doesn't have time to reset and have quiet time. You fatigue a lot faster when you don't have that break. Plus, it's not good for your eyes and your brain to be staring at a computer or doing whatever you're doing repetitively, or over and over again, without having that moment of rest. #10: You have a hard time unplugging from work Anyone guilty of that? Anyone been out and receiving messages? Or kind of sneak off to the bathroom at dinner to try and take a work call? Or are you like, “Oh, I just have to send this email” or “I have to do this thing” and it turns into more. How this hurts you: When you have a hard time unplugging from work, it means you're always plugged in. When you're always plugged in, you're too easily accessible. People get access to you. People are constantly in your space, and you don't have any time to just let everything go to reset, to recharge, and to rejuvenate. You're always ON. Wrapping Up In these 10, which ones do you have the most trouble with? I'd love to hear from you. In my next blog, I will talk about some solutions you can use to get over them. (FYI - Also when you let me know which ones are the hardest for you to get rid of and the ones you want some more strategy around. I can create some specific training videos on how to get rid of those specific aspects of being a workaholic.) Again, here’s my FREE quiz How Much of A Workaholic Are You. It’s going to show you how much of a workaholic you are. That's kind of important because you're going to know if it is a problem for you or if you just have to keep on top of it. It's going to give you some really great insight.  P.S. If you're thinking,”Diane, well, I'd love to not be a workaholic. I just have so much work” then please know that we do have the Virtual Assistant Made Easy Program where I hire a virtual assistant for you from the Philippines. I then help you and your VA figure out what to delegate, what to pass off, how to train them, and all the tools. Some of the results my clients have included sales, more leads, positive feedback from their circle and being invited to do a speaking engagement. I've had a client get three new clients in one week! Another client in the program finished their book! Another client made their first course! There are so many opportunities to stop being a workaholic by passing off some work. Send me an email at [email protected] to know more. If you would like to pass off your social media content creation and social media management through scheduling of your posts, then read on. We have a new program we’re getting ready to launch, where we take a piece of your anchor content and we repurpose it for all of your social media and we can even schedule it for you. Join the waitlist here to get first access to it as spots will be limited. Read my other blogs here:
Are you wanting to stand out in your business? Do you feel like you need to reinvent yourself to be able to catch up to the competition? Last year, I went on a road trip through Route 66 with my family, and I learned a bunch of lessons about how to stand out in your business just like Route 66.  A little background Let me give you a little bit of context first. My family and I flew into Vegas for a holiday before my mastermind. From the airport we rented a car and since it was night we started to drive towards our first hotel on Route 66. When we woke up the next day, we were able to head off to Arizona, and our starting point was Kingman. The goal was to go along the old Route 66, which decades earlier, used to be so busy with 10,000 cars a day going along it. When the new highway was created, it was in danger of becoming a ghost town. Some changes were made to make the little locations tourist destinations, and so it didn't lose its life. I'll get into that a little bit later. Because of these changes I really wanted to take my kids and my husband on Route 66 on our way to the Grand Canyon. On my trip, I saw so many cool things that businesses were doing that I felt I should share with you and you and your business can benefit too! A Short History of Route 66 I picked up a brochure from what used to be an old barber shop called Angel and Vilma's Original Route 66 Gift Shop and it has a little bit of backstory. “For 50 years, Route 66 was the main thoroughfare through Northern Arizona and brought much commerce to the town of Seligman. But on September 22, 1978 the newly constructed Interstate 40 bypassed Seligman and replaced the section of Route 66 that had brought the traffic of thousands of cars through town on a daily basis.” Just imagine all of those restaurants, convenience stores, gas stations, gift shops, and attractions, their livelihood shut down in a day. Could you imagine your business having an outside source or new technology shut down your business? It’s like owning a Blockbuster, who did VHS rental, and then all of a sudden all video is digital. Things in business can happen so quickly that we can get bypassed just like this new highway literally bypassed those businesses! “The livelihood of the businesses in Seligman disappeared in one day. All the travelers who had one stop to eat, get fuel and stay the night were now quickly driving by just two miles south. For 10 long years, the residents learned to live on very little. Businesses closed down. People moved. Buildings were abandoned.” Isn't that crazy? Super crazy! Then Angel Delgadillo, a barber and proprietor of the town, didn't want this to happen. He didn't want his town to die. Just like maybe you've had times in your business where you've thought,
Long story short, Angel didn’t give up and kept writing letters and raising money. One of the ways he raised money was he sold souvenirs about Route 66. Eventually, it became a historic route. The state of Arizona christened it Historic Route 66, from Kingman, to Seligman. Isn't that amazing? Now, rather than a place that people just went through on their way to somewhere else, Las Vegas or wherever they were going, instead, it now became a really cool touristy destination and adventure. It completely shifted the purpose. Then it actually continued on into California and all these other places as well, based on the route, the work of Angel, the barber. 3 ways to stand out What happened to Route 66 could very well be happening to your business. There could be:
If you’re in that space, then here are 3 things that can help you. (If you feel like your business is doing good, then great! Just take a look at these ideas and see if you want to add any of them to your business) 1. Reinvention Maybe it’s time in your business for reinvention. For Route 66, it went from just a thoroughfare to a landmark and a destination place. Maybe you need something new to draw people in. In this reinvention, it wasn't just, “We've got great burgers” or “We've got great souvenirs.” It then became “Look what we have on the outside.” There is a place on Route 66 that has Giganticus Headicus. It's this big green head and makes no sense to me why it was there. Except it made us stop for a photo…then go in the shop. I chatted with the guy there, probably the owner, who said his friend made it about 10 or 20 years ago, and it is drawing people into his shop. It catches their attention. It's an Instagram moment!  Here’s a photo of me picking the nose of this big head because that is exactly what my son did before he ran off to go to the bathroom! Now, how are you catching the attention of people that are driving by, walking by, or scrolling by? The way they're doing this on Route 66 is with colorful old car signs and other pieces of art. This is the area that inspired the Disney movie Cars. Angel, the barber, was interviewed in his barber shop for three days by the eventual writer of Cars and that's where Cars and Radiator Springs and the whole idea was born. They have other ways to catch people’s attention. There are dinosaurs in the Grand Canyon Caverns. Things are also interactive like in Kingman, they have a massive drive-thru sign. You can drive through, have your car sit there, get out and take some photos. There’s also a train where you can go inside and take a photo. If you're thinking of things like having booths at markets or if you have a storefront, what are you doing to draw people in or to have people be interested? That's what I was thinking about because of the big green head. I asked myself, “Well, what's happening here? This place looks interesting and I need to stop by.” So what are you doing in a physical space with people in person to draw them in? Next, ask yourself or ask your team about your website: “What am I doing to draw people in, to catch their attention, and to keep them on my website longer than seven seconds?” The last thing is when they're scrolling by on social media, what are you doing to capture their attention and to have them stop? There might be some reinvention that needs to happen for you as a person or maybe for you and your business. Even just wearing my hair curly, I've had so much positive feedback. That small change in my hair could be a little bit of a reinvention because it's drawing more attention and having people stop. 2. The Route 66 Passport They have a Passport for Route 66. If you can imagine a little guidebook showing you all the cool places to stop. Well, they've done that. but they also added in the ability to get a cool stamp at each location. They’ve gamified the drive and sightseeing. My kids had so much fun going through the book and getting the different stamps. Even if there wasn’t much to stop for, it gave us a reason to. Ask yourself, “Is there something in my business that I could gamify? Something that I could do to connect one piece of the journey to the next and encourage my clients/customers to continue?” Because I'll tell you, we followed the Route 66 passport that day and we stopped at places we probably would have just driven by because the stamp was there, that interactive piece of it and the milestones. It gives people the purpose to complete it. Also, is there a way you could connect with other businesses and do something similar? It got me thinking about my client journey and all the services and programs that I offer. Could I have my own passport where my clients can mark off how far they have gotten and then I send them something in the mail to celebrate their journey? It might not be the stamps, but it could be something else. I really liked the idea of this passport. What's even more clever is I had to pay for it. I paid $1.75 US for it, which I was like, “Oh, that's so cheap.” But how many times do you go to a visitor center and you get a map, marking off the places to go or a little guidebook for free? They're making money off of this as well, which I just thought was genius! There are also so many other sections to it: the western section, the central section, then there's the eastern section which encourages you to keep going, even if you hadn’t planned on it. Then at the back of the passport, there were extra pages for any other stamps you got. There was even a PRIZE! They have a passport redemption coupon. When you get seven stamps, you're entitled to a special certificate. It’s just made of paper, but it’s a motivator and a reward. You can also mail it in, which I think is clever. Do you know what's also clever for them? You have to send in the passport redemption survey, which asks for your demographics and so they learn more about their ideal customer. 3. Having some charm, humor, and wackiness It kind of blew me away how quirky all of these places are and it’s like they're playing this up. They've got some people working in these different places who are like historians, sharing the history of Route 66. When I was at the barber shop or the Original Route 66 Gift Shop, it was so amazing. The woman there was sharing lots of cool info and encouraging us to experience the shop, “Hey, go sit in the barber seat” and then we noticed a big cardboard cutout of Angel and so in a photo it looked like he was cutting your hair. My son sat in the chair, and he loved it! Then at another place, there’s a whole wall where people stuck dollar bills or different denominations and currency. It has people's names on it and so many things stuck on that wall, like license plates. As we were there, a real ambassador was chatting with us. He even encouraged us to all sit up at the fake diner counter and he’ll take our picture. They're really encouraging these types of connections. That charm, that humor, that wackiness is there, but also that ambassadorship. I want you to think, how are you showing up? Are you just showing up as someone in their business? Or are you really embodying what you're wanting for your business?  Let me give you another example. There's a place called Delgadillo's Snowcap Diner. I think it was actually run or started by Angel as well. They do burgers and fries, and fried foods. I'll tell you though, their shakes are amazing. We went there, and their place is like one of those hole-in-the-wall sort of place. You have to sit outside. But it had so much character. Even the backyard area, it was like the bathroom was an outhouse, but it was all done up inside, almost like you were in Pee Wee's Playhouse. It was so wacky. There was a fake TV that was playing music and all these funny signs. But as we're going to order, the woman there pulls out a mustard bottle and shoots my kids with it. They all jumped back. It was one of those fake gag mustard bottles and only a yellow string touched them. We all had a good laugh. The other thing is to get in, there are two doorknobs. I went to open the doorknob on the right because I'm right-handed, but that wasn't the doorknob. It was the doorknob on the left. It was quite funny. We had a giggle and even funnier when I went to leave and I did the exact same thing. Then after we ordered the shake, she goes, “Straw?” I said yes and she went to pass me a handful of actual straw from a farm rather than a straw you would drink from. So again, we all had a giggle. This is the charm, humor, and wackiness. It makes me think of my business, “Where can I take it up a notch?” She could have just shown up and been like, “Okay, what do you want to eat? Okay, here's your food. Thank you. Bye.” So how could you show up differently in your business as someone more charming, humorous, wacky, like an ambassador, or a historian? All of these people had different ways of being, but so endearing. I really enjoyed my interactions with them. It has me now telling you about it. Maybe it wasn't the best nuggets and fries for my kids. Maybe they weren't the best souvenir shops. But I'll tell you, they left a mark on me. You have to think, how many times in your life have you bought something that's not as good as something else because you liked the person? Or do you continue to shop or buy somewhere because you just love what they stand for? Or do you continue to go to a certain hotel or a certain coffee shop because of their reward system? It's so interesting how a few hours on Route 66 caused all of this in my head. I'm curious for you, out of these three, which ones are new for you or which ones are you going to implement? Has one of them made you think, “Oh yeah, maybe I could do that?” Because what would Route 66, and all the small towns be, if they didn't do these things? They'd be like certain companies out there that didn't evolve, that didn't change. I know you care about your business, and you love your business, or at least you want it to succeed, so one day you can sell it or pass on the legacy to your family, or just enjoy life while you're doing it. I hope that you take at least one little piece of what I shared and look differently at your business, and possibly your life. P.S. If you want to receive tools, tips, and truth about all things life and business, sign up here for free! Read my other blogs here:
Are you feeling like you want to increase your revenue and decrease your expenses? I went on vacation last year to Mexico with a friend. I stayed at a beautiful resort called Vidanta where I learned three ways how you can increase your revenue, lower your expenses, and bring in more clients.  (Think about your business and your business model as I go through these.) #1 - Share resources between different customers At the resort, there are five different hotels under the same brand. Those hotels share all the different services, events, locations, lounges, pools, and staff. For instance, there is entertainment on most nights. People from all five hotels can come and enjoy. The resort pays for one event, one band, one set of musicians, or one form of entertainment. All the resort guests can come no matter their level. Now, where in your business could you have multiple customers from different priced offers share the same service or the same event on different platforms? Where in your business could you have the same resources or assets offered to different customers or different clients under different packages? I've seen this work so well at the resort because for example, if the staff are busy in some location, rather than the shuttles just sitting there waiting for one hotel, the shuttles are going around for all the different hotels - such great savings. Also, the customers who paid more get access to more pools and offerings. Where in your business could you include lower package benefits to higher paying clients, even as bonuses? #2 - Create a desire for a higher-end product The five hotels have different levels of experience, different decorations, and different levels of luxury. Some have different pools just right outside your door. Some are full suites with your own butler. How do they create this exclusivity? The higher-level hotel guests can go to any of the pools and any of the locations and do all the activities. But if you were at a lower-end hotel, which is still amazing, you only get specific ones Guests know which hotels are better than others and since everyone also wears bracelets that shows which people have access to which locations. Imagine this in your business. You're creating a desire for the higher-end product because some of your clients are seeing what other clients get - what perks, bonuses, or offerings are given to your higher-end customers or clients. If they buy a certain package, they get these additional experiences.  I was on the app the resort has, looking through the events and special activities they offered and thought, “Oh, I can attend this one, but I can't attend that one because that's at the super exclusive place.” It makes you covet the ones you can’t have, yearn for them, want them. It makes you walk past certain places and go, “I wish I could go in there.” If you have a platform for your courses or an app where your clients access their materials and additional ones are there but locked it may make your customer think, “I'm going to move up to that. I'm going to one day buy into that when I can afford that” or “I'm going to prioritize that because I want that experience.” Maybe it's “I want that VIP experience” or “I want those opportunities.” #3 - Opportunities to Upgrade There are opportunities during my experience at the resort to upgrade. So not only to upgrade to maybe a higher-level hotel but also opportunities to expand the package like “Do you want to add on this piece?” I know you might be like, “Oh, God, I don't want to go to those sales things.” But think of this in your business. How can you have your clients move up in their package while they are still working with you? Or how can you have them expand to do add-ons? It could be additional:
Whatever it may be. They already love you, right? Just like the people walking around the resort, they already love the resort. Here’s a bonus tip. When your customers are in the moment of loving working with you, that's when you invite them to upgrade. That's when they might add on because they're in the moment of appreciating the experience or the results you provide, and they see the benefit. If you ask them,
 And their response is, “Oh, it’s great”, then that's the time to see if they would like more or to expand their package. Which of the three ways to grow your revenue will you try? Let me quickly go through them again.
I’d love to hear which of these you’ve tried or which you will be bringing into your business. P.S. Are you a member of the Dynamic Women Global Community? It’s a free community for female business leaders to come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired. Join today so you won’t miss out on any of our programs and events! Read my other blogs here:
My goal with this series is to give you clarity before you have to make decisions (last week’s blog), make decision-making easier in the moment (this blog), and after you make the decision you will stay strong and confident in it (next week).  In the Moment of Making a Decision When you are in that moment of decision-making, you’re probably asking yourself…
I've got you covered with these three questions. Even if you haven't done the “In advance” work from the last blog of having that ideal life designed, your life purpose and knowing your goals, you can still use these three techniques. 1. How do you feel? If someone asks you…
Or you have to make a decision on whether to apply for a certain job… you have to ask yourself…
It's either going to be a strong, “Yes” or “meh”. A lot of times if it's a strong “Yes”, I say go for it. This is definitely in alignment with what you're wanting. But if you get an email, and you're like, “Man, I don't know…” A lot of times that “meh feeling” means you're not really excited about it, so your decision is probably a no. Now, this is not to be confused with that feeling of “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous. I don't think I can do this. That's out of my comfort zone.” That's a very different feeling. That's like anxiety, worry or a little fear about “Can I do this?” Which is based on your limiting beliefs. Not every decision is a clear “yes” or “no”. Instead, there could be two or more options. It could be a fun decision, for example, “Should we go to Bali or Egypt for our trip?” Or something more permanent, it could be, “Do I want to have another child or not? We've got a couple of children, and our life is really in a good place, but now's the time to make a decision if we have another one”. It might be a decision of, “Do we move to this new place because we can have a slower lifestyle or do we stay here because this is where the work is?” You might have two options that are really good, but it's going to change your life. So this is where we go to the next two techniques. 2. Connecting to your values This is an activity you would do with a coach. It’s one I take clients through and they get a lot of insight from it. Knowing what your values are and being able to connect to your values in decision-making is so powerful. Because when you look at your values and you ask yourself, “Does this decision put me in alignment with my values?” and that's the case, then you're going to have more energy or a more soul-connected feeling that it’s the right decision.  But if you look at your values and that decision is going to have you dishonor your values, then it's going to be pretty obvious that the decision is a no. Let's look at one of the decisions that you could make in life. It could be to take on a project or take on a new role in a company. After some further discussion, you realize the company cares more about the bottom line than it does its customers. You've heard and read on the internet about times where the company has really screwed over the customer or client in order to take more profit. If your value is respect for others or fairness, then you see that in working with this company (especially if that would be part of your role) would mean you would strongly be going against your values. That would be so horrible. You'd be in dissonance (void of energy, or negative)most of your job. It's easy in that case to see “Wow, I don't want to take this role because it would be going against my values.” This can also help you in choosing a relationship like a partnership, employee, collaboration, etc. When you look at your values and their values, you have to make sure they're in alignment. Because you saying “Yes” to an opportunity, might stop you from being able to honor your own values. If you are very strong in your values with leadership or creativity and you know that in this new project you're not going to be able to do either of those then it might be better to say no. If it’s short-term, you could be OK with it, but if it’s going to go on for years, then it’s not going to be a good fit for you. 3. Take the decision and cross-check it with your goals You can ask yourself a very simple question: Does this move me toward my goals or away from my goals? I've had clients come to me with a really amazing opportunity. For example, to have a radio show. If they came to me with that type of opportunity, then I'd ask them…
If the answer is “Yes” and you gave a reason like…
 Then it could be a great opportunity for you. But if your goal this year is to write a book, or to spend more time with your family, or focus on your health, and this was just going to be one more thing on your plate, then it's not going to move you towards your goals so it should be a no. Next year, it might be a great choice because your goals have changed. But for right now you have to check any decision-making against your current goals. I often have to go back to my goals when I'm presented with a fabulous opportunity or one that I feel like, “Oh, I've got some obligation here. I should probably do it.” When I go to my goals and I know what I'm trying to accomplish and the amount of time energy and money I need to do it, it helps me to respond with, “As amazing as it is, I have to say ‘No’ because I need to say ‘Yes’ to my current goals.” Those are the three things that you can do in the moment of making decisions. In my next blog, I will share with you what you can do AFTER you make the decision so you can stay strong and confident in it. P.S. Get your FREE copy of my ebook “Key 2 Success” so you can stop facing 3 dangerous trends that keep professional women overworked, overwhelmed, and pulled in a million directions.
In my last blog, I shared with you three of the things that are stopping you from being organized in your life. Today, I will share with you the other two as well as the solutions you need! The Last 2 Things Stopping You from Being Organized in Your Life FOURTH: No plan or process to follow You have goals, right? You're feeling like, “I know what I want to achieve.” But then you don't have a process or a plan to follow. Being organized is having a system, a plan, or a process to follow. If you're disorganized and you don't have a plan or a process, then you're just grabbing at straws… you're doing whatever pops up in your mind. Which is often reactive and doesn’t give you a great result.  There's no timeline. There are no milestones. There's nothing helping you to make sure you stay on track so that by the end of the year, or by the end of a certain realistic amount of time you've completed the action… you've completed that goal. FIFTH: No accountability to reach your goals. You may have goals, then you may have a plan. But do you have the accountability to ensure you get there? The accountability to push you through the hard times? The accountability to help you to see the celebrations, to see the wins and help you celebrate them? Do you have accountability to know the right strategy to put in place? Do you have the accountability just for those check-ins, checking points, and milestones? You will be more organized when someone else is looking at what you're doing, or when you have to be accountable to someone else.  Now, why is this happening? Why are we feeling disorganized? Well, because we're busy. We are ambitious. There are lots of things that we want to do. But we need to have these things in place, right? Let’s recap.
To make it even easier… these 5 Solutions can be put all together in one to make you more organized and balanced. But did you know that the #1 desire I hear from my clients, friends and business colleagues is that everyone is searching for the elusive Balance! (You too?)Being Perfect in every area of our life is not possible. (I know I've tried!) And because they don’t have balance, they are burnt out, overwhelmed and feel like they’re on a hamster wheel.  Something will always be OFF Balance. AND being balanced is not the only goal. You also want to feel satisfied, have your success be accelerated and live a life around what YOU truly want. And I know how to make it easily possible... But first, what's the cause of this problem? The cause is women may have a business plan, but they don't have a LIFE plan. Specifically, they don't have a DYNAMIC LIFE BLUEPRINT. The Dynamic Life Blueprint has been extremely important for my success and the success of my clients. It’s a 3-Phase process so you have clarity on your foundation for balance and satisfaction, you’ll have confidence in your ideal vision for your business and your life, and you’ll get into action on your Dynamic Goals with clear focus, tools and techniques to ensure you have success. And when followed the results are phenomenal:
Bottom line… you need to know how to properly create it and then how to use it. I will show you both in Dynamic Success Accelerator. This program will help you increase your success, money, and happiness by having your Dynamic Life Blueprint. PLUS… There is new content and many free bonuses for you - like being in a book with me! Learn more about it here. Read my other blogs here:  If you are one of those high-achieving, Type A, smart, and successful women, ask yourself these questions:
 This could be because you’re doing it all yourself. Or maybe, you KNOW that you can’t do it all yourself, and you have support, but doing things yourself is still affecting you in ways you didn’t realize. This is one of the common mistakes or missed opportunities that I see in women that I’ve met. Who is going it alone? It's usually the women who are most capable. It's also women who don't feel like they're enough and then asking for help would just confirm that they aren't excelling in every area. It’s also solopreneurs, entrepreneurs and small business owners. A lot of times it’s the women in high-up positions in the corporate world. They believe that they need to be a lone wolf… that they need to do it alone. But the thing is, women are meant to be in a group. We're meant to be in a community with others. If you look at the stories of successful people, it came from support from others. It came from a team. Why do we keep trying to be a Superwoman? Most of us suffer from Superwoman syndrome, where not only do we have to be amazing in our career, but now we feel pressure to be amazing wives, amazing sisters, amazing friends, amazing moms, and to also volunteer, leave a legacy, etc.  It's ridiculous. I keep having to check myself by asking, “Am I trying to do too much?” But what I'm noticing is that people are not only trying to be a superwoman, where you try to do everything and be awesome in every area, but now we're trying to be superheroes, where we want to be awesome in every area and with every title, but we now also will save everyone in the process. This means:
You might disagree and say that you’ve hired people and you’ve got a team around you, but then:
Here are the three things that could be holding you back and causing you to struggle alone: 1. Your skills and talents You are a talented woman and can figure things out, but you don’t have specific training in certain areas like accounting, funnel building or investing. I have coached women who don’t know how to make a financial budget. I've coached women who don't know how to do simple things with technology. They try to do it themselves by spending time trying to figure it out, watching YouTube, buying programs when it would have served them to hire someone to do it for them. Even if they did figure it out, the time used was more than an expert and the results were often not as good. Plus, did they even enjoy doing it? More than likely, not. Their time would have been better used on their core competencies and income producing activities. 2. Our lack of experience How can you step up to do something when you haven't had experience doing it? For example, closing a big deal, speaking on stage, or firing someone. So yes, you can figure it out. Yes, you can fake it till you make it. But that can be super stressful. It can be harder than it needs to be. Having a mentor or coach walk you through it, give you tips on what you need to do or watch out for and support you is crucial to your growth and success. 3. Our limiting beliefs The saboteur. The Gremlin. The shadow. Whatever you want to call it. It’s that negative self-talk and when we are alone it can circle around in our heads until we believe it. That then changes our thoughts and actions. Slowing us down or stopping us in our tracks. This is where having others around us is integral to cheer us on, call us on our BS and push us towards our goals. These are the things that are holding us back from moving forward. The first two are kind of simple. We could hire someone who has the skills and talents that we don't have, or we're not willing to learn. We should hire people who have experienced things that we want to be able to experience so that they can teach us.  But what happens when it comes down to limiting beliefs? When you try to do it all yourself, you don't have someone to point things out to you to ask you the questions that help you come up with the solutions. As Les Brown said, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” We can walk around our whole day with broccoli in our teeth or a piece of toilet paper on our shoe. It's not until someone else points it out or until later in the day that we finally see ourselves in the mirror and we’re mortified and wonder, “How long did I go through life, not realizing that?” How many instances with others did I mess up because I didn't know about the negative thing that was affecting me? Since we can have these three things that hold us back, it's really important that we don't try to do it all ourselves. In my next blog, I will walk you through your options so you can stop going it alone. For now, I invite you to join the Dynamic Women Global Community to meet other dynamic women who are wanting to support one another.
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