|
My goal with this series is to give you clarity before you have to make decisions (last week’s blog), make decision-making easier in the moment (this blog), and after you make the decision you will stay strong and confident in it (next week).  In the Moment of Making a Decision When you are in that moment of decision-making, you’re probably asking yourself…
I've got you covered with these three questions. Even if you haven't done the “In advance” work from the last blog of having that ideal life designed, your life purpose and knowing your goals, you can still use these three techniques. 1. How do you feel? If someone asks you…
Or you have to make a decision on whether to apply for a certain job… you have to ask yourself…
It's either going to be a strong, “Yes” or “meh”. A lot of times if it's a strong “Yes”, I say go for it. This is definitely in alignment with what you're wanting. But if you get an email, and you're like, “Man, I don't know…” A lot of times that “meh feeling” means you're not really excited about it, so your decision is probably a no. Now, this is not to be confused with that feeling of “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous. I don't think I can do this. That's out of my comfort zone.” That's a very different feeling. That's like anxiety, worry or a little fear about “Can I do this?” Which is based on your limiting beliefs. Not every decision is a clear “yes” or “no”. Instead, there could be two or more options. It could be a fun decision, for example, “Should we go to Bali or Egypt for our trip?” Or something more permanent, it could be, “Do I want to have another child or not? We've got a couple of children, and our life is really in a good place, but now's the time to make a decision if we have another one”. It might be a decision of, “Do we move to this new place because we can have a slower lifestyle or do we stay here because this is where the work is?” You might have two options that are really good, but it's going to change your life. So this is where we go to the next two techniques. 2. Connecting to your values This is an activity you would do with a coach. It’s one I take clients through and they get a lot of insight from it. Knowing what your values are and being able to connect to your values in decision-making is so powerful. Because when you look at your values and you ask yourself, “Does this decision put me in alignment with my values?” and that's the case, then you're going to have more energy or a more soul-connected feeling that it’s the right decision.  But if you look at your values and that decision is going to have you dishonor your values, then it's going to be pretty obvious that the decision is a no. Let's look at one of the decisions that you could make in life. It could be to take on a project or take on a new role in a company. After some further discussion, you realize the company cares more about the bottom line than it does its customers. You've heard and read on the internet about times where the company has really screwed over the customer or client in order to take more profit. If your value is respect for others or fairness, then you see that in working with this company (especially if that would be part of your role) would mean you would strongly be going against your values. That would be so horrible. You'd be in dissonance (void of energy, or negative)most of your job. It's easy in that case to see “Wow, I don't want to take this role because it would be going against my values.” This can also help you in choosing a relationship like a partnership, employee, collaboration, etc. When you look at your values and their values, you have to make sure they're in alignment. Because you saying “Yes” to an opportunity, might stop you from being able to honor your own values. If you are very strong in your values with leadership or creativity and you know that in this new project you're not going to be able to do either of those then it might be better to say no. If it’s short-term, you could be OK with it, but if it’s going to go on for years, then it’s not going to be a good fit for you. 3. Take the decision and cross-check it with your goals You can ask yourself a very simple question: Does this move me toward my goals or away from my goals? I've had clients come to me with a really amazing opportunity. For example, to have a radio show. If they came to me with that type of opportunity, then I'd ask them…
If the answer is “Yes” and you gave a reason like…
 Then it could be a great opportunity for you. But if your goal this year is to write a book, or to spend more time with your family, or focus on your health, and this was just going to be one more thing on your plate, then it's not going to move you towards your goals so it should be a no. Next year, it might be a great choice because your goals have changed. But for right now you have to check any decision-making against your current goals. I often have to go back to my goals when I'm presented with a fabulous opportunity or one that I feel like, “Oh, I've got some obligation here. I should probably do it.” When I go to my goals and I know what I'm trying to accomplish and the amount of time energy and money I need to do it, it helps me to respond with, “As amazing as it is, I have to say ‘No’ because I need to say ‘Yes’ to my current goals.” Those are the three things that you can do in the moment of making decisions. In my next blog, I will share with you what you can do AFTER you make the decision so you can stay strong and confident in it. P.S. Get your FREE copy of my ebook “Key 2 Success” so you can stop facing 3 dangerous trends that keep professional women overworked, overwhelmed, and pulled in a million directions.
0 Comments
In my last blog, I shared with you three of the things that are stopping you from being organized in your life. Today, I will share with you the other two as well as the solutions you need! The Last 2 Things Stopping You from Being Organized in Your Life FOURTH: No plan or process to follow You have goals, right? You're feeling like, “I know what I want to achieve.” But then you don't have a process or a plan to follow. Being organized is having a system, a plan, or a process to follow. If you're disorganized and you don't have a plan or a process, then you're just grabbing at straws… you're doing whatever pops up in your mind. Which is often reactive and doesn’t give you a great result.  There's no timeline. There are no milestones. There's nothing helping you to make sure you stay on track so that by the end of the year, or by the end of a certain realistic amount of time you've completed the action… you've completed that goal. FIFTH: No accountability to reach your goals. You may have goals, then you may have a plan. But do you have the accountability to ensure you get there? The accountability to push you through the hard times? The accountability to help you to see the celebrations, to see the wins and help you celebrate them? Do you have accountability to know the right strategy to put in place? Do you have the accountability just for those check-ins, checking points, and milestones? You will be more organized when someone else is looking at what you're doing, or when you have to be accountable to someone else.  Now, why is this happening? Why are we feeling disorganized? Well, because we're busy. We are ambitious. There are lots of things that we want to do. But we need to have these things in place, right? Let’s recap.
To make it even easier… these 5 Solutions can be put all together in one to make you more organized and balanced. But did you know that the #1 desire I hear from my clients, friends and business colleagues is that everyone is searching for the elusive Balance! (You too?)Being Perfect in every area of our life is not possible. (I know I've tried!) And because they don’t have balance, they are burnt out, overwhelmed and feel like they’re on a hamster wheel.  Something will always be OFF Balance. AND being balanced is not the only goal. You also want to feel satisfied, have your success be accelerated and live a life around what YOU truly want. And I know how to make it easily possible... But first, what's the cause of this problem? The cause is women may have a business plan, but they don't have a LIFE plan. Specifically, they don't have a DYNAMIC LIFE BLUEPRINT. The Dynamic Life Blueprint has been extremely important for my success and the success of my clients. It’s a 3-Phase process so you have clarity on your foundation for balance and satisfaction, you’ll have confidence in your ideal vision for your business and your life, and you’ll get into action on your Dynamic Goals with clear focus, tools and techniques to ensure you have success. And when followed the results are phenomenal:
Bottom line… you need to know how to properly create it and then how to use it. I will show you both in Dynamic Success Accelerator. This program will help you increase your success, money, and happiness by having your Dynamic Life Blueprint. PLUS… There is new content and many free bonuses for you - like being in a book with me! Learn more about it here. Read my other blogs here:  If you are one of those high-achieving, Type A, smart, and successful women, ask yourself these questions:
 This could be because you’re doing it all yourself. Or maybe, you KNOW that you can’t do it all yourself, and you have support, but doing things yourself is still affecting you in ways you didn’t realize. This is one of the common mistakes or missed opportunities that I see in women that I’ve met. Who is going it alone? It's usually the women who are most capable. It's also women who don't feel like they're enough and then asking for help would just confirm that they aren't excelling in every area. It’s also solopreneurs, entrepreneurs and small business owners. A lot of times it’s the women in high-up positions in the corporate world. They believe that they need to be a lone wolf… that they need to do it alone. But the thing is, women are meant to be in a group. We're meant to be in a community with others. If you look at the stories of successful people, it came from support from others. It came from a team. Why do we keep trying to be a Superwoman? Most of us suffer from Superwoman syndrome, where not only do we have to be amazing in our career, but now we feel pressure to be amazing wives, amazing sisters, amazing friends, amazing moms, and to also volunteer, leave a legacy, etc.  It's ridiculous. I keep having to check myself by asking, “Am I trying to do too much?” But what I'm noticing is that people are not only trying to be a superwoman, where you try to do everything and be awesome in every area, but now we're trying to be superheroes, where we want to be awesome in every area and with every title, but we now also will save everyone in the process. This means:
You might disagree and say that you’ve hired people and you’ve got a team around you, but then:
Here are the three things that could be holding you back and causing you to struggle alone: 1. Your skills and talents You are a talented woman and can figure things out, but you don’t have specific training in certain areas like accounting, funnel building or investing. I have coached women who don’t know how to make a financial budget. I've coached women who don't know how to do simple things with technology. They try to do it themselves by spending time trying to figure it out, watching YouTube, buying programs when it would have served them to hire someone to do it for them. Even if they did figure it out, the time used was more than an expert and the results were often not as good. Plus, did they even enjoy doing it? More than likely, not. Their time would have been better used on their core competencies and income producing activities. 2. Our lack of experience How can you step up to do something when you haven't had experience doing it? For example, closing a big deal, speaking on stage, or firing someone. So yes, you can figure it out. Yes, you can fake it till you make it. But that can be super stressful. It can be harder than it needs to be. Having a mentor or coach walk you through it, give you tips on what you need to do or watch out for and support you is crucial to your growth and success. 3. Our limiting beliefs The saboteur. The Gremlin. The shadow. Whatever you want to call it. It’s that negative self-talk and when we are alone it can circle around in our heads until we believe it. That then changes our thoughts and actions. Slowing us down or stopping us in our tracks. This is where having others around us is integral to cheer us on, call us on our BS and push us towards our goals. These are the things that are holding us back from moving forward. The first two are kind of simple. We could hire someone who has the skills and talents that we don't have, or we're not willing to learn. We should hire people who have experienced things that we want to be able to experience so that they can teach us.  But what happens when it comes down to limiting beliefs? When you try to do it all yourself, you don't have someone to point things out to you to ask you the questions that help you come up with the solutions. As Les Brown said, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” We can walk around our whole day with broccoli in our teeth or a piece of toilet paper on our shoe. It's not until someone else points it out or until later in the day that we finally see ourselves in the mirror and we’re mortified and wonder, “How long did I go through life, not realizing that?” How many instances with others did I mess up because I didn't know about the negative thing that was affecting me? Since we can have these three things that hold us back, it's really important that we don't try to do it all ourselves. In my next blog, I will walk you through your options so you can stop going it alone. For now, I invite you to join the Dynamic Women Global Community to meet other dynamic women who are wanting to support one another.
Are you feeling absolutely ready to say goodbye to 2021? I get it. I see it. I hear it everywhere. Everyone's just ready for 2021 to be done and to start 2022 with new energy, new possibilities and positivity. I get that this year almost feels like last year. Time is just running into itself. These past two years have had their own share of struggles, but as always in closing off one year and starting another, we can feel like we get a fresh start on January 1. Picture a dog coming out of the water. What does it do? Shake! Yes! It shakes off all the water and you don't want to be nearby when it does because you'll be sure to get wet. But it's that feeling of release, freshness and shaking off what you don’t need anymore.  So how can we properly shake off 2021 and close it off in the right way so that you feel prepared for 2022? Maybe you need a RESET! I’ll share with you the 3 benefits of doing a proper goodbye to 2021 AND I’m gifting you the chance to do it together to properly ring in the New Year. I really want to speak about the importance of doing this because so often we just get wrapped up in the holidays. We are so excited about Christmas and family and maybe we overindulge. I totally overindulge in chocolates, festive drinks, mulled wine and all the lovely foods. Benefit #1: We need closure The first reason why we need to be able to close off 2021 properly is closure. We always need closure. Even if some bad things happened in your life, like tarnished friendships, being fired from a job, or some unsaid business, there can still be closure. You can't watch a movie and turn it off 10 minutes before the end and not know what happens. There's a part of our minds that knows it’s not finished. The same goes for the year. When you give proper closure to 2021, it means you can open up a new year. By closing off one thing, you can open up another. There's often a saying around, you have to close one door to be able to open another and this is the exact same reason. We need closure from 2021. Benefit #2: We need release The second thing about saying goodbye to 2021 is to release us from what 2021 held over us, and what it did to us. Maybe the sadness, grief, disappointment, or frustration.  Have you ever jumped into a cold pool on a hot day? Then you know that refreshing feeling. It makes you feel alive, you feel awake, you drop the feeling of heaviness and are instantly refreshed. You release the bad as if it’s a bag you’ve been carrying around and can step more boldly into the New Year. Benefit #3: We need to feel complete Here's the third and final reason that will help you tie a bow on 2021. You need to say goodbye in order to be able to walk away and feel like, “Okay, that's done and I'm okay with how it ended.” If you don’t have closure and you’ve not been able to release, you won't feel complete. You'll feel that there’s a little piece sticking with you and it's taking up space you. It could make you worry or feel stressed. By properly tying a bow on 2021, you're going to be able to walk into 2022 feeling so much better. Even if you had an awesome year, you still need to say bye to it! Here’s my gift. Let's do the 5 Day Reset together, so you can have closure, release 2021 and feel complete and ready for 2022. The five-day reset is a complimentary mini-course. It’s mini because it's the holiday time and so it has a small commitment, but it’ll have a huge impact for you. I've been doing this for many years, and the hundreds if not thousands of women that have gone through this with me have said how profound it was, how simple and easy it was to do and yet so meaningful and impactful. I have to warn you… don’t jump into setting any goals yet. AND Don’t jump into your resolutions, until we do these five steps first. So together, we're going to build your foundation so that you're ready to kick butt in 2022. Even if you don't have the energy to kick butt, at least you’ll feel more confident, and more comfortable moving into 2022. Here are the steps to join!
The 5 Day Reset is going to give you these benefits:
I look forward to seeing you in the 5 Day Reset so that we can close off 2021 and get into an awesome 2022. Wishing you the best.
Diane Almost two years since the COVID-19 pandemic started, a lot of people are still struggling without having connections because of the restrictions. Yes, some restrictions may have been lifted, but because of the Omicron variant we’re still far from the normal life that we know. A client shared with me, “I'm struggling without connection because of all the COVID restrictions, how can I connect with others? I feel so isolated.” If this is how you’re feeling too, I'm sorry that you feel isolated. I'm sorry that you feel disconnected. The crazy thing is we can feel isolated or a lack of connection really any time! Even when we have lots of things going on and many people around us, not just in COVID times. My heart goes out to these people, especially the people that live alone or the people who work from home and they're alone, or seniors and they live alone. It's going to take three things to break from the loneliness:
Let me share a little strategy: Strategy #1 Tell people you trust how you feel, like your family, friends, loved ones, connections, even acquaintances because maybe they feel the same way. They might not have told you because they think you're busy or that you have it all together. You sharing first could open up their honesty. One of my friends and I have been terrible at keeping in touch. Absolutely terrible, but we love each other dearly. We're not mad at each other about it, just busy and didn’t call each other. So we made a plan to have phone calls once a week, every Thursday morning. She's driving to work, and I'm walking on the trail, and we have a conversation. What I learnt was that the more you talk with the same person, the more you get rid of the fluff that is at the surface, and the more you're able to actually talk about the real feelings that you have, whether it be isolation, loneliness, disappointment, depression, or anxiety. Strategy #2 If you have some friends, you need to be creative in what you're going to do with them. You can even think creatively.
If you don't have friends, then you need to put yourself out there and start connecting with others. Maybe there is a neighbor that you like who you could invite to go to the park and sit six feet from them. Invite a few people. Maybe there's a local place that is doing virtual wine tastings. You get a bunch of people together and everybody's in their own home trying out the wines. You can also look for places that already have community. There are women's groups like the Dynamic Women community. There are churches. There are other organizations that already have events and groups happening where you can just join in. You can find other people and connect with them. You can go on Meetup.com and see what events are happening because at least some will be virtual and if you prefer you can join some in person events. Some of them might enjoy a hobby that you like. It could be bird watching, video games or great restaurants. Reach out to these types of groups where you know that you're going to focus on a topic that you already like, so you can start to build easy connections that way. You really have to look for ways you can put yourself out there and connect with other people, and then make it a continuous thing that you do. Just like I have with my call with my friend. Be honest about where you're at because if people don't know that you need to hear from them or want to spend time together then nothing happens. And with all of the people you choose to have in your life know that you can also, design relationships, create some boundaries, an of course open up about how you’re doing. Read more of my blogs here:
1. D.R.I.V.E.: 5 Ways to Motivate Yourself 2. The Power of Baby Steps 3. 10 Honestly GOOD habits to have Are you feeling tired and that you can't work like you used to do when you were younger? There is a common problem that I hear from my clients. It’s an issue that affects female leaders, female business owners, and probably lots of men as well.  I was coaching with a group of clients in my She’s Goaled Program. We were reviewing how their goals went that month. One of them said that she felt she wasn’t getting everything done because she wasn’t at her optimum level of health:
I'm guessing you've had those moments, too. Maybe even today! But the next thing she said was, “I have to remember what my age is and not work like I’m 20 years old again.” What it comes down to is how you want your lifestyle and your every day to look like. This is especially true if you're in control of your own time and is important even if you work a nine to five.  It’s not about age. It’s not about your life before kids. It's about how you want to live your life right now.
Answer these questions as the person you are, not even thinking about age. Think about what you want and what you want your life to look like. If you're tired, try asking yourself: What’s the cause?
I had one client who had so much vacation time banked at her company that she basically could take a whole year off! She was a great employee, but she was working herself into the ground. I asked her, “What do you want?” She said she just wants to work less. She was working 80 hours a week. She wants to have a bigger impact in the work she does, but she also needs to rest. She said she wants to be able to take her time off and doesn’t feel she can. She knew she needed to take it, but she worried. She felt like she couldn't have the same impact that she wanted to have if she was to take time off. Surprisingly, since she also worked so much she worried she wouldn’t know what to do with her free time. If you run a business, maybe you think you can't have the results you want if you take some time off. I'm not saying take a whole month off, but if you want to that's totally doable because that's actually what this client of mine did. Not only that, but she continued to take every single August off moving forward. She also took a personal day every so often. It was a day for herself where she would just book a day off with no major plans and just wake up that day and think:
 If you're at a place where you're feeling like you don't like how things are, you can't handle what you used to handle, or you wish things were different, STOP. Take a moment. Really ask yourself:
It's not about comparing to how life was in the past. It's about getting super clear about how you want life to be right now. What do you want to accomplish, what goals do you want to have, and what priorities are in your life? Basically, it comes down to three words: Design your life. You can actually do that. A lot of times people just go with the default or they settle for what's happening in their life. Or they take options that are presented to them. If you want to balance your life better then I’ve got you covered. For the upcoming Black Friday, I’m offering the Ultimate Success Toolkit which contains tools that can help you reach your goals and surpass the feeling of being tired, busy, and overwhelmed! Grab your toolkit here.  Have you ever had that urgency where you’ve got to make an extra $500, $1000 or even $10000? You may think:
 You tell yourself, “It’s impossible to do it QUICKLY? I don’t know I will raise that kind of money.” You still can feel these negatives around it, and you can still struggle. Why is this an issue for most people I’ve seen people struggle. This came up very recently with a client of mine. I also have had clients in the past, people I’ve met in my masterminds, and even people who’ve come up to me after different events I was speaking at. It's so easy to get overwhelmed, to think how could I possibly make $500 or $2000 in like 10 working days, five working days, whatever it may be. This was my situation about 4 years ago, at a time when I really wanted to hire this high-level coach. I was upping my game, but I'd never put out over $10,000 for a coach before. At just over $13K US and then it was over $17k to work with this coach. I really wanted to do, it would be worth very penny. It was a great investment for my business. The solution I’m going to give you came from that moment. When you feel overwhelmed, you're not going to be able to get focused at all. You're not going to be able to go for it. Overwhelm puts you in that fight or flight. That stressed place. Creativity is gone. Focus is gone. The fog comes in… so do two culprits:
What do you do? Oftentimes, nothing. Otherwise, you're procrastinating, right? The issue is, you're not coming up with a plan. When you are running a business, you need to have a plan. You need to have a system and a process that you go through. The System and Process I would use The system and process I’m giving you now may seem super basic, but it works. This is like the tip of the iceberg. I'm not going super deep into it, just give you an overview of this concept so that you can go and apply it. I want you to be able to be thinking about, “How do I put this together?” Not “This is hard, I can’t.” FIRST STEP: Break it down Ask yourself: “In my business, what is the fastest way to cash?” “What is the fastest way I can get a customer, a client, a patient, or a company to purchase something from me?” The following are examples of actions you can do that can be fastest to cash:
However, there are actions that may NOT be the fastest way to cash. For example, starting a podcast or writing a book. Doing these things that have a longer game to them that take a longer nurture sequence is not fastest to cash. That is a nurturing process that happens over time that will eventually bring in some cash flow for you. So how do you do it? Find what is fastest to cash for you, think of some of those ideas. You really want to be breaking it down into how you're going to get this money earned.  Let's look at this example. If you needed $10,000, what you could do is sell 10,000 units or products at $1 apiece. Now, is that really good for your time? Probably not. It takes a heck of a long time to sell 10,000 products to 10,000 different people, right? You probably need 10,000 clients or at least 5000 clients where everyone buys two. Let's break it down in another way. Could you sell 1000 products at $10 apiece? It could be a workbook, a mug, or a smaller product that you would sell. Now you need 1000 customers to buy a $10 product. Let’s break it down into another option. You could choose a $100 product to sell to 100 people. Are we starting to see how this is a little bit more doable? Could you potentially sell to 100 people in two weeks? Yeah, you totally could. Selling to 10,000 people a $1 item that's a little bit harder. It depends on what your reach is. If you have a really good reach or your item would be something your client could buy lots of, like a pen, then a dollar item could be a good idea. You have to see what your product is and how you would sell it. Let's go to the next level. Could you take a $1,000 product and sell 10 of them? You totally could. That would make sense. Let's go to a higher level. How about an even easier option? Do you have a $10,000 product that you would only need to sell one of them? You only have to sell one! Could you find one buyer in 10 days to buy a $10,000 product? Now depending on what you do, you really have to look at this and think:
 Client’s $4000 sales I did this recently with a client. She needed to make $4000 in sales. I asked her, “Do you want to be selling the $4 product or do you want to be selling the $40 product?” Do you see the difference? Think of how many fewer customers she has to find. That $40 product helped her feel, “This is doable. The fastest to cash option for me is to put a bundle together of $40 for 100 people to buy in the two-week period to get $4000 in sales.” That made so much more sense for a $4 product. Or how about this one? How about 40 people spend $200? That's probably a little bit more easier depending on your product. That would have been another option for her. SECOND STEP: Choose how do you want to do it You break it down, and you figure out how you want to do it. For example, if I'm selling x amount of products, then how do I want to sell them?
Figure out the avenue. Don't pick too many because you want to be able to actually get it done. If you don't know anything about the option (ex. Facebook ads), it’s not the best choice. Unless you have someone in your network you can easily pay to bang that out and get it going. The Clincher This is the thing that I see people screwing up on all the time. You've made this commitment, “I want to make $1k, $4K whatever it may be. Then you start doing other stuff. You're like:
Cut everything else out. You have one goal. Now, this is not how you're going to be every second of every day, but if you have an immediate need for $, everything else needs to go to the wayside.  Let me go back to my example. It was December where I've got birthdays for both my kids, I have two other family birthdays and Christmas. So this is what else happened that one specific December. I go to an event, and I buy a $17k+ coaching package (Worth every single penny. I totally beIieve that.) But I'm like, “Man, I don't want to get a credit card bill that is going to be probably 20 grand because I have other business expenses and many gifts on it.” And I'm doing the full pay option because I'm all in and I'm getting this done rather than the payment plan. That's just the way I like to do it. I like to save money by doing it all at once. I thought, “I have to pay for this ASAP. I'm not pulling from my savings and not pulling from a bank account. I got to pay for this from what I've made.” In that moment, I was like, “Okay, in 10 days, I'm going to run an event. Get as many people in there as possible, and I'm going to offer them something.” I thought, “Am I going to offer an $8,000 program to a big room?” No, that I haven't had time to build up that relationship with them. “Am I going to sell 100 $200 products?” I could but I don't have 100 people in the room so that's not going to happen. Instead what I did is I thought I need about 12 people to buy about a $1500 product so that I can pay this off right away. Now, as I was going into it, I thought, “No, instead I'm going to change this. I'm going to make it $1,000 and I'm going to sell like 17 of them.” At the end of the day, I sold 18. I actually made money. Now, obviously, I still have to put my time into delivering the product. I still have expenses in delivering that product. However, my credit card bill was covered. That investment in that coach was covered. What did I do? I used the steps, what is fastest to cash? Fastest to cash for me is a coaching package. Then, I'm going to break it down. How do I want to do it? I'm going to do a $1,000 product and have 17 people buy. Then, how do I want to do it? I'm going to fill a room with people and hold an event. I had 74 people register in those 10 days. I had 63 show up, which is really high show up rate. Of that, I had 18 purchases. Perfect, right? What did I do? I had to cut everything else out. Why? Because I had a bill to pay. Why? Because I had an event to run. Why? Because I had to prepare my offer. I had to prepare my package. I had to prepare my content. I had to market to get everyone there. I had to be on point for when I was showing up there. I had one opportunity to sell. Now granted, yes, I would have many more opportunities after to nurture and follow up. But I wanted it done that day. I didn't want that on my mind. In your mind, do you feel it is too much stress to have it all on one event, one home party, one online cooking class, one webinar, one masterclass, one training? Is that too much pressure for you? Then pull it back. Give yourself that time and space. You could:
You have to be laser-focused when you want to achieve a financial goal in a short amount of time. It is doable. To make money in a short amount of time you must believe that it is doable, and you have to focus on it. You have to get into action. Getting into action is going to build the confidence that you need to actually pull it off. And choose that breakdown of how many products for how much money. Something that is doable for you potentially or a bit of a stretch, but make sure that it's the doable one. What I love doing that with my clients is:
Now you may not look at me or think of me as a sales and marketing coach. I'm not saying I specialize in it. I will never say that, but I'm a business coach who can do strategy. Why? Because that's what I do in my own business and as you can see I can do it well. If you want to have one of these “Fastest to Cash Strategy Sessions” with me where we figure out how you can get the fastest to cash in a short amount of time, then go to https://bit.ly/FastestToCashSession. By the end you’ll have the clarity on the right approach, the confidence in the strategy and the plan to actually go for it, so you can get great results.
The world is starved for Recognition AND Appreciation. Are you part of the problem? I think a lot of it comes from what would be considered the number one limiting belief, which is “I am not enough."  We are constantly judging ourselves. (And by “we” I mean women.) We are comparing ourselves to high standards. Now maybe not everyone has the same standards, but there’s often at least one of these questions...
There's always judgment. Sadly, it can be by us, by friends, by family, by society, or by culture. It's very easy for us to feel starved for recognition, starved for appreciation because we're needing to feel like we're enough. Now, let me ask you:
First of all, if this is happening to you or happening to those around you, this is how people feel when they are not recognized or appreciated. They feel a little bit like, “Why bother?”
And when you're in that place of “Why bother?” you feel apathetic. You're not driven. You're not driven to achieve. Can you relate to that? What area in your life do you feel underappreciated? Have you done things that have gone unrecognized? You may have been in one of these situations:
 If you are suffering from this, I'm sorry, that sucks! I'm on a mission to teach people to easily combat this. Acknowledge Others If we just change the conversations we're having by doing this one thing I'm going to share, the world would be a better place. If you're doing this action properly every single day:
Simple Solution You can acknowledge others. I'm sure you already know how to compliment someone. You say things like:
Since you know how to compliment, we can now move to acknowledging a person for who they are, what they have done, and who they’re being. This tells the person they have good qualities, they’re liked and they’re more than good enough! It's really simple. It's four words, or it's five words. Five-Word Version The five-word version is “You are a/an + adjective + the role or title that they have (sister, brother, mother, father, friend).” We can acknowledge them for really any role or any title. For example, you can say, “You are a driven entrepreneur." For a more personal example, my daughter made a beautiful “Dream Big” picture. I can say to her, “You are a creative artist” or “You are an imaginative designer." Four-Word Version This is supposed to be super-duper simple. An example is, “You’re a loving mother.” Here, “you are” just becomes “you’re." I want you to be thinking about short and sweet. Just give them the full acknowledgement and drop it there. By acknowledging someone else, you are giving them a word gift. It's an acknowledgement to who they are as a person. You are witnessing something good in them, a good skill, a good quality, or a good trait. How would you feel if you received one of these acknowledgments? Pretty darn good! You’d feel awesome!
Don’t Mess it Up Sometimes when I do this activity with clients or women in my Dynamic Woman Global Community, they want to add on, and add on, and add on more reasons. When you add on the reason why you said the acknowledgment, they might grab onto it and then make it untrue. For example, you go to an event that is really well put together and really well decorated. So you say to the host. “Thank you. You are a fantastic host.” This is a great acknowledgement and well received. But you don’t stop there, you mention the balloon decorations, the platters of food and the music. Now the host doesn't think they’re a great host because they ordered the balloons, the food was catered and your friend organized the music. And it may be fine if you want to maybe add one more adjective. You can say, “You’re a loving and caring friend.” But wouldn't it be nice to use one and make it the focal point or the center of it. You can also drop the title or role and just say, “You're so loving” or “You're so loyal.” But it sometimes helps to give a little context. For instance, if I said to a friend, “You’re so strong.” Is that physically strong, mentally strong, emotionally strong, or strong to get through things? On the other hand, if I said, “You're such a strong athlete.” We know it's physically strong. Giving the title gives some context. Be part of the solution In the beginning, I said that the world is starved for appreciation and recognition. If you are going to help to solve this problem, let's talk about what that would look like. Let's say someone had surgery that they had to face or they're going to be facing, and you said, “You're such a courageous woman,” left it at that, just let that land that's going to positively affect that person's circumstances.  It's going to start to squash and push down the saboteur’s negative thoughts and negative self-judgments and negative limiting beliefs that come up. Acknowledgements are so simple. I encourage you to look for opportunities to give these gifts. They don't cost a cent. With what's going on in the world today, we really need to be seen in a positive way. We need to be reinforced and given that energy of an acknowledgement from someone else and then that will ripple out to others. Maybe they then look to acknowledge others as well. Maybe you will start to get acknowledged more. When you do this in an authentic way, it builds positivity and awesomeness with you and that person. Answer these questions:
This is one aspect of pillar number six in my Dynamic You Program and book where I talk about being Magnetic. When you can do this to connect with others, to be more approachable, and to be positive, people will be drawn to you. This is how I said that you're going to be able to build your network. If you do this action every day, you're going to be able to attract more connections. You're going to build stronger relationships. If you have employees, you'll retain them longer. And overall, you will be happier. It doesn't cost you a thing to say these four or five words. I encourage you to do so. Let me know how many you could do in one day. Could you do 5? 10? A hundred? Let me know how it goes and let me know how the other person responded. How did you make them feel by giving them that acknowledgement? You don't have to ask them. Just check in with them. What do you notice? How did they receive it? I am a coach, a speaker, and I run the Dynamic Women Global Community. It's a place I love to go live. I love to give tips, tricks, and trainings on how to be more dynamic in all areas of life. This Online Facebook Group is a complimentary. You are welcome to join! I appreciate you. I appreciate you because without you being here to read my blogs, I couldn't do the work I do. Thank you very much. Here's a list of my related blogs:
1. I know where your hidden power is... 2. How to Easily Attract Your Dreams 3. 5 ways I am grateful for women who came before What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? When you’re in situations like:
 There are immediate actions that you can take or do to prepare for this happening so that you can stay on top of things and not be overwhelmed. Last year, my father passed away. When that happened, I wasn’t able to do my other tasks such as podcasting because I needed to take care of myself and frankly, I didn’t care about any business tasks. Even answering an email felt like a big task. The only thing I could do well and feel like myself was coaching. In reflection, it's not just about taking care of yourself, it's knowing what to do when life gets overwhelming. How can you prepare for this? I want you to know what to do. How you could feel Life changes in many ways. Problems arise. Problems like:
After life changes in these ways, you can have many feelings. You feel overwhelmed, stressed, annoyed, frustrated, angry, or lost. For me, it was lower patience! I just didn’t have patience with my children. I had to do some mommy timeouts! What is this causing us? Imagine you're juggling all 10 areas of life. You're juggling the kids, your marriage, your house, your health, etc. When one of those balls becomes heavier or more demanding, you tend to drop the other balls!  The issue with dropping the balls is that some of them are made of glass. When you drop them, they will break! When you drop them, you are going to have trouble. You're going to have potentially long-lasting negative effects from it. For instance, when you end up dropping a ball, you’re breaking relationships, losing some clients in your business, not responding to emails, not being prepared for a presentation, not landing a client because you’re showing up in a different way, etc. You don't want that to happen. I know I didn’t. Why this could happen + the negativities So why do you struggle? You struggle because one area of life that's only supposed to be a certain size has now become bigger. When it's bigger, it takes more of your time. It takes more of your mental capacity. This can happen at work, whether you're in a nine to five or a business. When you're working harder in your business or in your job, you have less time for your health, you're not sleeping as well, you're eating poorly, you don't see your friends, you're not eating properly, etc. All these negative things come in! When you're not at your peak in your performance or in your health, it starts to affect confidence and it affects your ability to deal with challenges, it lowers your brain capacity, and how well you can complete your tasks.  You struggle because there's limited time and limited mental capacity that you have. Plus, the emotional strain. You may have encountered a problem and you’re not solid emotionally. You’re not where you need to be. That affects you in many other areas. What you can do to get going Ideally, you have this prepared in advance, so you know what to do when s$&t hits the fan. When life gets crazy and you feel like it’s too much, you just need to stop and think:
At that moment, you might think that you need to sleep, take care of your kids, or finish a project. For you, those are the three things that need to happen. There, you’ve just decided on the most important balls. Those are the glass balls that you can’t drop. The cool thing is, you can let all the other things sit on the back burner. You don't have to worry about them. You can take them off your plate. You don't even have to think about them. When my dad got sick, I set aside some tasks:
I focused on my family, my well-being, and my clients. I checked in with my husband and friends a little bit, but everything else I let go. This is called MAINTENANCE MODE! Go into maintenance mode. What do you need to just maintain your life? This is not meant to be long-term, but if you're experiencing this right now, what areas of life are super important at the moment that you need to prioritize? What I see in my 1:1 clients is they get into chaos. They are trying to juggle every single ball as if they're all glass balls, but they're not. YOU CAN DROP SOME! Your house can be dirty. You don't have to make every meal from scratch. Your landscaping can slide. Maybe you do prioritize your marriage, your health, your kids, or whatever it may be for you. You need to figure out what maintenance mode is for you. Usually, that's three or four areas of life. (Note: different maintenance mode times will need different areas of life.) Here are the different areas of life to help you choose:
Decide which three or four areas that you need your focus. I encourage you to devise a plan for when things get crazy and when you can't juggle everything anymore.  If you already know what you're going to do when s$&t hits the fan, it's so much easier. You can just go on autopilot. You have a plan you can rely on. Remember: You can say “no” to say “yes.” It means you:
Let me know what was most important for you in what I shared today. If you'd like to make your maintenance mode plan and go through your Wheel of Life, or if you need to process a challenge on your life, then reach out to me. Email me at diane@dianerolston.com. Read my other blogs here:
1. Overwhelm with Overwhelmed 2. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions 3. The Power of Baby Steps There is ONE thing that a lot of women do that feels good but hurts them - it’s putting other people's agendas before their own. It's saying “yes” to others before they say “yes” to themselves.  The sad thing is, I see women do this all the time.
I constantly see women putting others ahead of themselves. Side note:
But I'm talking about this unbalance when these statements are true:
And when it gets to that extreme level, it means you take care of other people to honor their values before you honor your own values. So how does this look? Imagine yourself in these two true situations that I heard from my clients. True Story 1: I have a client who is a very loving Mom. The trouble was she wasn’t able to go away on the weekend because her daughter kept dropping her dog off at her house. It was happening a lot and for long periods of time and that meant that this client of mine wasn't able to have the freedom that she wanted. She missed out on so many invites for dinner dates, outings, and trips because the dog couldn’t be left alone. This made her resent her daughter. True Story 2: A client of mine is a very successful personal trainer who has clients in different areas of the city. My client said yes to serving a retired couple at 9am which was a time that worked best for them, which meant my client was travelling through the city during rush hour. Also, she was already serving people in that area later in the day and so it meant she was travelling there twice. This caused her to miss out on adding in another training hour. It took her a lot more time to travel and caused her much stress. If you give all day, there is nothing left for you. When you're busy fulfilling everyone else's agenda before your own, you’ll have nothing left to give. And then along with not focusing on your own agenda, you're also missing out on fulfilling your own dreams. Yes, we need to care for others. And yes, we need to help others, but not to the detriment of ourselves. If we have time for ourselves, our cup gets filled. If we can do the things we want to do, our cup gets filled. If we honor our own priorities, our cup gets full. When our cup is full and overflowing into the saucer that is under the cup, we have more than enough to give. By serving our own needs, wants, priorities, and goals, we then can bless others with the time, energy, and money that we have. When you make more money, you can give more money. When you have more time, you can give more time.  I will leave you with a list of questions that you can ask yourself so you can fill your own cup:
 In the past, I've been known to go out of my way to help others so much that I suffered. And I see it in women all the time. I hope it doesn’t happen to you so have a hard look at how you’re doing and answer those questions. Post your comments about what insights this gave you. We are taught to care. We are taught to give. We are taught to serve. We also need to be taught boundaries and making ourselves a priority. And we can help others once we are feeling enough… once we are filled up... once we have enough to be in a position to be able to give. Read my other blogs:
1. Overwhelmed with Overwhelm 2. Sometimes You Gotta Say No 3. 4 Crucial Questions About Your Life Path |
Archives
October 2022
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed