You might have heard me already talk about how people tell you… “Be a little less”, “You're too much” and now “You need to change that part of yourself”.
Well, I'll tell you a story about this time I was speaking and I was nervous to tell a specific story in case I started to cry.
I'd been on stage many times before. I'd even been on stage in front of this particular audience before. But this feeling came up again…
One thing I have felt for many years, (probably decades) is I need to change how I cry easily.
How easily? I can remember crying over a coffee commercial because it was just so sweet with the son coming home from university to surprise his parents and making coffee for the parents. They wake up and smell the coffee and they come down, their son is there, and they hug. And this was me before I even had my own kids!
My crying was something I was very embarrassed about, so I got coaching around it. I tried to “pre-cry” for things, so I wouldn't cry in social settings.
It was pretty crazy.
I thought, “Something's wrong with me because I can cry so easily.” I can remember watching Titanic and just bawling my eyes out at 14 and getting home and my mom saying “Didn't you know the Titanic sank? Didn't you know that was going to happen.” I did know; however, the love story was just so sweet. It's the idea of losing someone like that. My goodness, it just made me cry.
You get the point, right? Me getting tearful. It was an embarrassment. I was like, “I got to change myself.” But then through the help of a coach, I realized that me tearing up and me crying is actually a gift. I need to be unapologetically myself because other people need me to cry for them to cry or they need me to cry to know that it's okay to cry. They also feel relief when they can't cry tears, but I do. I'm sure you know someone who you think, “Wow, they never cry.” Me, I could cry quite a bit. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I get disappointed. I cry for others' tears.
So I'm on stage, and I'm telling a story about my grandma. I loved her so dearly, and she passed away. I teared up. I also shared how I had been struggling personally and how I had postpartum depression after my kids.
I told my stories, and I spoke confidently, but I still teared up. I didn't full-blown cry. But I'll tell you, even though this audience had seen me before, they ran up to me at the end. It was people that I knew. Clients of mine. Colleagues. People who have seen me speak a few times. They ran up to me, and they said, “Wow, Diane, I didn't know those things about you.”
They connected to the realness of who I was being. I didn't have to change myself. I could be unapologetically myself, and you can, too. Because the realness and the emotion they saw that day, helped me in so many ways. It helped them in so many ways too. So now me being real and being unapologetically myself, it means that:
It gives me permission to be all these things. Not be stuck in a box to what other people or society thinks I should be like. That's what you should have too: permission to be yourself. Yes, we should be looking to improve ourselves. Let me take out the word “should” because that's an obligation.
What I hope for you is that you can be unapologetically yourself where you don't feel you need to change. Most importantly, through your actions, you become completely fully the person that you are meant to be.
With this, I encourage you to join the Dynamic Year Program. You can be unapologetically yourself and have more clarity, confidence, and better results. If you want to know more about the program, you can check it out here. Early bird promo ends in a few days so don’t miss out!
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