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As we come to the end of the year (or any time of year), it is good to be able to jump in and do some releasing of things that don't serve you anymore. Why? So we can have more time, energy, and money.  Let’s break down each of those aspects: time, energy, and money. Then, let’s talk about the different ways you can find more of them and release things that are taking up your time, energy, and money so that in the next year or in the next 12 months, you are going to be able to feel so much better to drop these things that are holding you back from:
Because when we lack time, energy, and money, it really makes everything harder. It's like you're going after your goals, but you're either in quicksand or you're in really sticky, heavy mud, and you're going uphill. It makes things a lot harder. When you don't have enough time, you feel rushed, you feel stressed, and you have to prioritize. But oftentimes, what I see with my clients, is their health and personal goals suffer because they end up putting other people's agendas first, like their kids, spouses, other obligations, work, business, or clients, when they really need to spend the time on themselves. When we don't have the energy, we don't have the ability to be motivated, to move past situations that need resilience, persistence, and it’s hard to work through the obstacles. We're just too tired. Then bad habits come into play because we're trying to just get by. When we don't have the money, it puts us in a scarcity mindset. It's not a place you want to be because then you make decisions that are not bold. You'll be protective of yourself, so you take on clients and customers who aren't in alignment with who you want to work with. Finally, you take on projects or jobs you really don't want to do, which ends up zapping your energy and your time as well. YOUR TIME Look back on the past year or the past 12 months, and ask yourself, “Where did I focus my time?”
I encourage you to take a few moments and write your answer down. Another good way to really figure this out is to look at your planner, schedule, or calendar, and see where you were and where most of your time was spent. You might have used a time tracking tool like Toggl where you can actually see which tasks you were spending time on. Then reflect on a typical day or week.
Once you know exactly where you were focusing your time, you can decide if you want to continue doing that. A lot of times we get into bad habits or we get into coping mechanisms that are based on just what we decide in the moment to do rather than setting a very clear intention for how we want to spend our time. I fall into this trap when I'm tired, and I just want to put on Netflix and zone out. But I know that it doesn't serve me. I should just go to bed or read. I have so many books that I want to read, and I'm not doing it. If I have time to watch a two-hour movie, I have time to read. By doing this reflection of where you spend your time, you get to consciously decide where you want to spend your time moving forward.  YOUR ENERGY With energy, I'm going to focus more a little bit on who you're being. Prepare yourself I have a lot of great questions for you:
Think back to situations. Look at all areas of your life. Then, ask yourself, “Was I focusing my energy on things that were most important to me? Is this how I want to spend my energy?” As I go through all of this, it brings up the importance of the Dynamic Year Program. Looking back on the past year really gives us insight as to how we want to live moving forward…
YOUR MONEY This is actually what brought about this blog. I was looking over my credit card statements from this month, and was surprised, “Wow, I'm putting $7 for this and $35 for that, and $100 for that, and $250 for that.” All unnecessary! Why? At this time of year I take stock as to what I really need and want moving forward. It’s time to ask you a few questions, and share ones I'm focusing on right now.
When I was looking at my credit card statements, I was looking at one of my major CRMs and thinking, “Do I really need it to be like this”?  I was also looking at a funnel software and thinking, “I haven't been using that.” Even things like my Spotify account - do I really need it? I'm at home, I have Amazon Prime music, and I also use the TV music stations, so do I really need that? Because the main reason for getting Spotify was to have uninterrupted music for when I'm running my events. I decided it's just not necessary right now. As I wrap this up I have to share that with all of these areas where you focus your time, your energy, and your money, you have the choice to release parts permanently. You also have the choice to release them temporarily to see if you can be without it. For example, with Spotify, you may think, “It's just 10 bucks, it doesn't matter.” Well, it adds up, and which book would be better purchased with that $10? ANd what charity could use that $120 a year? Maybe you wish to hire a VA. I've got two VAs and people say, “Oh, but you're at a different level than me.” You know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what level you're at. No CEO runs the company all by themselves. If you cancel a few unnecessary subscriptions, you could have a few hours of support from the VA which will make a big difference. Where would you focus your energy, if you knew you would have 10% more energy? Where would you focus your energy if it wasn’t being sucked down by you comparing yourself to others or reacting to people who don't support you? Or worrying about things or procrastinating? What could you do with that pocket of energy?
If you had more time, what would you do with that?
Really, the possibilities are endless, but it comes down to conscious choice and setting intentions. These questions of where do you want to focus your time, your energy, and your money, sets up the Dynamic Year Program. After we evaluate the past year, we will go through and grab all that wisdom and then create a plan when we look at our new goals. My 3-Step Process will give you A BETTER YEAR...GUARANTEED! You've worked hard and dealt with all of the issues of the last year! Now is the time to get together with other Dynamic Women for an end of the year planning session to celebrate 2022 being over and planning for 2023! MY GOAL IS TO MAKE YOUR SUCCESS EASIER TO ACHIEVE! Release the bad. Find out where you can cut things out to gain more time, boost your energy, and have more money. Release them. AND then add in what will really support you to have a Dynamic Year with your Dynamic Year Plan! Join the Dynamic Year Program, I am doing it in January. Check out the previous link or email about 1:1 coaching at diane@dianerolston.com. Read my other blogs here:
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It’s almost Christmas! During the holiday season, a lot of things are going on. We prepare gifts, attend reunions, and social gatherings, and parties. It’s also the time we spend with family!  But all these things could become stressful. Now, are you already feeling a bit stressed this holiday season because it’s too busy and you don’t have downtime? Are you going to lose it and probably get into a fight with someone because you just don’t know how to deal with it all? Why we get annoyed We might get annoyed for many reasons, like these:
 No matter what the situation is, a lot of times we're annoyed because some of our values are being dishonored. By values, I don't mean morals. I mean values in things we align with and need in order to feel in full resonance (energy). When they are being dishonoured, we're willing to get on a soapbox and fight for them and speak up. It might be values like:
Can you imagine how these two would butt heads? Someone with the value of being in the flow, and another person with the value of being on time. Now, in the moment, you're not going to say, “Oh, my values are being dishonored” or “It's because their values are that way.” When I work with my clients, they start to understand their values. They start to pick up on when they’re being honoured and dishonoured. But if you don't know what your values are and you haven't done the values assessment, then here are some steps you can take in the meantime. What you can do to reveal your values Step 1: Listen to how you're feeling: when you have a knot in your stomach, or you start to tense up, or you feel like you’re going to get mad. Ask yourself, “What is the feeling that I'm having?”
You have to name the feelings so you can see what it's connected to. Once you have that feeling locked in, then you can look to…
If the feeling part is hard for you, then this question would be your first question: What has caused me to feel bad? Then once you figure out what caused you to feel bad, you can then figure out what the feeling is underneath it. Step 2: Now it's clear as to why you're feeling bad and what caused this for you. If I go back to my previous examples of someone who is late, or someone who is not being helpful in making the Christmas dinner, whatever it may be, if you look at that and now ask yourself, what is it about it that is so annoying for me? Well, when people are not on time, it’s not just about them being late. It will annoy you for a specific reason. It could mean it's holding up everyone else and that's disrespectful or when people are late, it could mean we miss out on watching the start of a play, a concert, or even a Christmas service. With the example of someone not helping you with the meal, it could be because it's stressful for you or you're unable to enjoy the day because you feel like you're just slaving away in the kitchen. Step 1: You know your feelings. Step 2: You know how that's impacting you. When you know which of your values are being dishonored, you're now at the point where you get to make the decision if you will share this with others or not. That's the decision you get to make. If I look at the two examples, again, someone being late, if you share with them, “Hey, because you're late it’s caused this to happen for me.” You might get a good response, especially if this is someone who cares about you as equally as you care about them. Redesigning Relationships This brings me to the next step of redesigning relationships when people are dishonouring your values. If you do have a bad relationship with someone in your family, you might need to redesign before any situations come up at Christmas time or in the holiday season. But if you share with them in a way that is genuine and honest, without lots of emotion, just really stating the facts, they might change their ways.  If you know certain people are usually late, maybe tell them an earlier time for them to come. Another option is to tell them how important it is to you or the reason why you really want them there at a specific time. If it is around something like helping out, then have set chores or tasks or ask people in advance to do specific things. You don't have to make the whole dinner yourself. If you're bringing people to your house for dinner, then invite them to bring something with them. People love when it’s clear how they can help. I find they're always asking what they can bring. Actually tell them what they can bring so you don't get 50 bottles of wine. Instead, you get maybe five dishes and five bottles of wine. That would make your night or your day a lot easier. If you're feeling like “I don't want to make a big deal of it in advance”, then take note of how you're feeling in the moment and ask for some support.
Whatever it may be, deal with it in the moment so that it doesn't ruin your whole day. So what do you do when you're annoyed this holiday season? Check-in with your feelings and the cause of what's annoying you, it could be your values. Then express with others the impact of that and you might have to design or redesign relationships. If you want to know more about designing relationships, I encourage you to pick up the Dynamic You book so that you can read the whole chapter on collaboration where I teach you how to design and redesign with family members, friends, colleagues, business partners, whoever it may be. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Read my other blogs here:
In my last blog, I shared the one shift to make to stop wanting to change yourself and how I did it myself. The key thing is to stop focusing on changing yourself and instead change your actions. Now I’m going to share a couple of stories from my clients on how this worked out well for them.  Client Story: Changing actions in her business How you ever felt:
This happened to one of my clients recently who joined my VA Made Easy Program. Once she said she wanted to be part of the program, some emotions set in. You see, it's a program where I hire your VA for you and help you delegate and train with your virtual assistant using my tools and systems. As I shared about the steps and the benefits, she realized how hard she had been on herself, and that she wasn’t the problem. She felt relief and shared:
When she realized, “Wow, it's not me who needs to change. I can instead change the actions I take and decide who to delegate the actions to.” Rather than feeling like she was failing as a person or there was something wrong with her, once she was aware, she was able to make adjustments. Maybe you've been there too where you felt like, “There’s something wrong. I can't put my finger on it.” When you improve your actions, you can improve your life and then you will improve yourself. As I mentioned in my last blog, for me, when I start to change my mindset and change my actions around my health, I have more control and better results.  Client Story: Changing actions in relationships with others and at work This next client told me how she felt like she was being walked on. She wasn't as confident or showing up as confidently in her life. She thought:
Did you know that the number one limiting belief is “I am not good enough”? That comes from the research Brene Brown has done. I also see it every time I do the Dynamic Year Program when we talk about limiting beliefs. It ends up being the number one limiting belief because it underlies every other limiting belief. What we realized is she felt that, “I can't change myself. I'm just not a confident person. I'm just not this type of person.” She was putting the focus and pressure on the wrong area. Instead, we changed some of her actions. We changed how she set boundaries with people and how she enforced those boundaries. We also had a practice of reviewing her accomplishments and her achievements so she could see how good she was. Her confidence grew. Her ability to lead grew. How others saw her grew. She didn't have to change herself. She had to change her actions around her confidence. Now, doesn't it seem a lot easier to bring in more positive habits rather than focusing on having to completely change yourself? You can have more confidence through the actions you take rather than having to change yourself. Those are just two stories of many showing how making that shift from thinking you have to change yourself to being able to just change your actions has been really helpful for my clients.  I know you want to improve yourself. You want to be the best version of yourself. But that's an improvement. That's elevating. That's not completely changing yourself. Now, I do have to make it clear that if who you are is toxic or negative, or there's someone in your life who is that way, yes, they should change who they are. But a lot of times, it's changing the actions that make more sense, right? How many drug addicts are wonderful people when they're not high? They don't need to change themselves. They need to change their negative actions that come from bad choices. For my clients who are joining the VA Made Easy program, they're now excited to realize, “This is amazing. I'm changing my actions, which is going to help me to be a better CEO, to live my passion more, to be who I truly am.” That other client of mine who finally was able to step into her full confidence. It's not because she wished it. It's not because she decided, “Boom, I'm going to be a confident person.” It's because of the actions she took that helped her be confident. Today, I'll leave you with this. You have the choice to be yourself. You have the choice to also then step into your power and change your actions so you can be the person you want to be. You can do it and it might just be easier than you think! P.S. If you’re not yet a member of our free community, Dynamic Women Global Community, I encourage you to join. It’s a community for female business leaders to come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired. Read my other blogs here:
1. How to Figure Out What You Want 2. 4 Steps to Stop Judging Yourself 3. 5 Things That Can Help You When You’re Sick Do you feel like you have to be different? Do you feel pressured by society to change yourself?  In this blog, I'm going to share with you the ONE shift that will stop you from focusing on how you need to change yourself. Yes, you can stop believing you have to change yourself. The problem is when we have to change ourselves in every single area of life, it's tiring and hard. You want to be focusing on your passions, maybe your business, your career, and you don't have to be thinking about, “How do I need to be different in all of these different areas.” That is tiring. I know it. I've been there. My clients have been there. But you don't have to be as well. The ONE Shift This is the one shift that's going to stop you from focusing on changing yourself. Now how do you do that when we're constantly told to be different?
All these negative comparisons put pressure on YOU. That’s hard. Rather than changing ourselves and feeling like we'll be more successful when we change who we are, instead, we can think about changing our actions.  You don't have to change yourself. Instead focus on changing your actions. We don't have as much power and control over changing ourselves, especially when biologically we are a certain way. You might think, “Oh, if only I was more tech-savvy.” Well, if we changed our actions, we could be more tech-savvy. Look at the things you're doing, your…
How I made this ONE shift I am a recovering perfectionist and have some bad habits. I’ve been very hard on myself. I’ve often compared myself to others. I also challenge myself to do better all the time. As much as I have worked on myself over the years, I've been struggling with how I am not as fit as I used to be. I have been focusing on how I look now is wrong and I need to change myself. I am not looking like an athlete anymore, so I feel like I need to change myself to be that again. I was a varsity rugby player. I’ve been an MVP of many sports and an OUA All-Star. I’ve had lots of physical achievements in my past. I need to change myself to be fit again, to be thinner again, and to be stronger. I feel like I need to change myself, but this is causing me to be really hard on myself. I realized that's a lot of pressure to put on myself. That's a big burden to have to change my appearance completely, especially when I've had two kids and I’ve had many injuries over the past few years. I am still a great person and my value doesn’t come from my appearance. You may have had this feeling of “If only I was this, like them or if I was that again”.  It doesn't have to be around weight or your appearance. It can be about your personality. It can be around your skills and talents. Then I thought, “Take your own medicine, Diane. Listen to the things you've said to others.” I often talk about the BIG myth we're led to believe by society, ‘We have to change ourselves.’ Instead, ‘We have to change our actions.’ That helped me realize, changing myself directly to an athlete is pretty hard. So what would be better… is to change my actions. My actions of:
This shift has helped me to put some positive changes into my life and I feel more hope and more in control. In my next blog, I will share with you stories of how my clients made the shift from focusing on changing themselves to focusing on changing their actions. P.S. If you haven’t yet, join the Dynamic Women Global Community on Facebook and be part of a group of female business leaders to come together to connect, share, grow, and be inspired. Read my other blogs here:
Everyone wants to get ahead at any age. Are you someone who wants to…
If you answered “yes” to any of these, then you're needing to get ahead and invest in your life in some way or another. You can get ahead at any stage, whether you’re 9 or 90.  Let me share with you stories from two people who have had a big impact on my life. You can probably see some of yourself in them. But if not, it's going to be a really great reminder that you need to be doing the things they did so you too can get ahead My daughter’s story My daughter loves art, she goes to art camp and she asks for art supplies for every gift. Back when she was 9, I noticed that Harmony Arts Festival in West Vancouver, BC, Canada was having an art call for children. I thought maybe she wanted to submit some of her art, so I asked her. She said, “Yeah, Mom. I want to do it.” But she was a little bit nervous at first. She was questioning if she should do it and what piece she should submit. Then, she found the perfect piece. It was a sailboat, and she was very proud of it. Based on the timeline, we had to choose something she already had done because we were very limited in what we could have her submit. But then she noticed there was a little pen poke mark in it so she wasn't going to be able to use that piece. She was very, very disappointed. The art show was called, “For the Love of Art”. They were putting up a gallery at the Harmony Arts Festival and then people can bid on these different pieces. That’s why my daughter wanted it to be a great piece. I also thought it was important for her to foster her love of art and to teach her that this is what happens to artists who have a business. They submit their art and they go to shows or galleries. Then there's the potential to sell and make money from a piece of art. That's the way that business works. She was very disappointed that she couldn't submit her sailboat piece and especially because Harmony Arts is right on the beach. It would be a great piece to choose. Then, she went through her other pieces and found another one, but this was from two years ago when she was younger and had less ability. She did submit it anyway, and she was accepted. I was very excited for her! The deadline to drop off the piece was about four weeks later. But, our family went on vacation. There were lots of trips that happened and we missed the deadline. I told her it was my fault. I said to her, “I'm so sorry we missed the deadline to drop off the piece so you might not get in the show.” She responded, “Well, can you ask them?” Of course! So I sent an email and thankfully they said, “No problem, drop it off.” We then went to the Harmony Arts show and we found her piece on the wall. They framed it, and it was beautiful. My daughter had that moment of “Wow, look, my piece is framed professionally in an actual show… with my information and name on it.” It was such a cool thing. For her, getting ahead meant:
But this took us to the next stage of people bidding on her art. What I noticed was that on half of the pieces in the show there was no ability to purchase the art because the artist wanted to keep it. But for the other half, a lot of people had bids. At this point in the show, she didn't have any bids yet and so I felt bad for her. I pushed the idea of “This is amazing!” and “Your piece is here!” She still had the rest of the week for people to put bids in. Many days later, close to the end of the show, we came back, and we wanted to see if there were any bidders. Honestly, I didn't want to see it because I didn't know if I needed to go and bid on it. I saw that the auction sheets have been taken down because they are already reprocessing them for the people that purchased them. I was going to go ask if there were any bids on it. I then saw two people talking about my daughter's piece. I called her over and said, “Come here, those people are talking about your art. You should go talk to them.” She was so nervous, so we went together. The people said they were trying to figure out if it was the four seasons. I told them, “Well, the artist is here.” My daughter then had this conversation with them. She told them what medium she used, which season was which, how she got the lines in it, what type of paper she used, etc. She got to have a moment where she was THE artist.
As a mom who wants to kind of facilitate a positive situation, we went over to the office, and we asked them if there were any bids. The person was flipping the sheets. I see all the bids on all the other pieces. Then, it comes to my daughter's piece, and she says, “Oh, yes! There was someone named Kelly who purchased her piece for $50.” That's amazing. They also said, “We're going to send her a check for $50 in the mail.” I was thinking about my daughter’s cut because galleries take a cut and we were also informed about it at the beginning. I thought it was fair since they framed it and did all the facilitation for it. They said that they decided to give her 100% of the sale. My daughter was super excited! She's getting her first payment for her art! It's funny, as we walked away I said, “Wow, isn't that great that someone bid on it?” Then she goes, “Oh, I had a few bids.” She already knew because she ran over another day to check. There was at least one other bid of $30. I know that that experience for her is going to foster so much into the future. I'm asking you right now, for yourself, your children, or people around you, what experience do you need to have to be able to get ahead and to jump in early in your development? If you don't have that experience, it doesn't matter. Just jump in and do it. I know the people who have been part of the Dynamic Women's Secrets Books have just loved that moment of holding the book and feeling like, “Oh, this is true. I'm an author. Oh my goodness.” So just jump in. That's how you’re going to get ahead - by having these experiences before you're truly ready. Getting ahead in your 90s At Toastmasters, I met a gentleman named Yan. He was a Norwegian boat builder. I talked with him quite a bit about his life and more so his life as a senior. In his 70s, he learned fencing. Then in his 80s, he wrote his first book. When I met him at Toastmasters, he was in his 90s. Oftentimes, he would fall asleep because this was a 7pm to 9pm meeting. He had driven over from Bowen Island, which meant he took a ferry over and so he was quite tired by that time of day. It was really fun and we'd have to yell over, “Yan! Yan! Wake up. It's your turn to speak.” He would jump up and shuffle over with his cane. He was so funny because he was sometimes a bit crude in his jokes and in what he'd share, but boy was he full of life. He would take me out to the senior center before our meeting, and we'd have a meal together and chat. It was so much fun. One day I asked him, “How do you stay so young, Yan? You're in your 90s and you're coming to Toastmasters. How do you stay so vibrant at an older age?” He said, “I keep trying new things. I keep challenging myself. I keep giving myself a reason to live.” We want to keep getting ahead at 90. I'm not saying you have to have these amazing big challenging goals and drive yourself forward, push yourself, be stressed, and work too hard. But he said, “I’m not letting age be a factor. I've watched too many of my friends die because they've given up on life. They don't have a purpose or a reason to live.” That for me was so eye-opening, yet so sad to know that he continues to watch people have no purpose in life, they are stagnant, and they're not getting ahead anymore. That's why he continued to dive in and bring himself to new experiences and also why he’d take people out for a meal… he wanted to keep living. As I share this he has passed. But boy, did he have the most interesting, exciting life, even into the final years of his 90s. It's really impressive. Wrapping Up I wanted to share these two stories with you about getting ahead… about living your passion… about diving into new experiences. I could have named this blog “Live Your Life” or “Live on Purpose.” But really, it is about getting ahead and moving yourself forward.  I wanted to share these two stories with you about getting ahead… about living your passion… about diving into new experiences. I could have named this blog “Live Your Life” or “Live on Purpose.” But really, it is about getting ahead and moving yourself forward. My recent push is Stand Up Comedy Classes. It’s challenging me, scaring me a little, and also growing me as a person. Let me know what you choose to do. You'll inspire me, you'll inspire others. P.S. Are you wondering if you're a workaholic? Or maybe you wear the badge of being a workaholic with pride? Then take this quiz to find out. Read my other blogs here:
1. C.A.T.E.S - 5 Things That Will Help You Move Ahead 2. 5 Things That Can Help You When You’re Sick 3. 6 Ways to Get Paid What You’re Worth |
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