Are you feeling tired and that you can't work like you used to do when you were younger?
There is a common problem that I hear from my clients. It’s an issue that affects female leaders, female business owners, and probably lots of men as well.
I was coaching with a group of clients in my She’s Goaled Program. We were reviewing how their goals went that month.
One of them said that she felt she wasn’t getting everything done because she wasn’t at her optimum level of health:
I'm guessing you've had those moments, too. Maybe even today! But the next thing she said was, “I have to remember what my age is and not work like I’m 20 years old again.”
What it comes down to is how you want your lifestyle and your every day to look like. This is especially true if you're in control of your own time and is important even if you work a nine to five.
It’s not about age. It’s not about your life before kids. It's about how you want to live your life right now.
Answer these questions as the person you are, not even thinking about age. Think about what you want and what you want your life to look like.
If you're tired, try asking yourself: What’s the cause?
I had one client who had so much vacation time banked at her company that she basically could take a whole year off! She was a great employee, but she was working herself into the ground.
I asked her, “What do you want?” She said she just wants to work less. She was working 80 hours a week. She wants to have a bigger impact in the work she does, but she also needs to rest. She said she wants to be able to take her time off and doesn’t feel she can.
She knew she needed to take it, but she worried. She felt like she couldn't have the same impact that she wanted to have if she was to take time off. Surprisingly, since she also worked so much she worried she wouldn’t know what to do with her free time.
If you run a business, maybe you think you can't have the results you want if you take some time off. I'm not saying take a whole month off, but if you want to that's totally doable because that's actually what this client of mine did.
Not only that, but she continued to take every single August off moving forward. She also took a personal day every so often. It was a day for herself where she would just book a day off with no major plans and just wake up that day and think:
If you're at a place where you're feeling like you don't like how things are, you can't handle what you used to handle, or you wish things were different, STOP. Take a moment. Really ask yourself:
It's not about comparing to how life was in the past. It's about getting super clear about how you want life to be right now.
What do you want to accomplish, what goals do you want to have, and what priorities are in your life? Basically, it comes down to three words: Design your life.
You can actually do that. A lot of times people just go with the default or they settle for what's happening in their life. Or they take options that are presented to them.
If you want to balance your life better then I’ve got you covered.
For the upcoming Black Friday, I’m offering the Ultimate Success Toolkit which contains tools that can help you reach your goals and surpass the feeling of being tired, busy, and overwhelmed!
Grab your toolkit here.
Have you ever wondered how to stand out at work or how to make yourself noticeable to get a promotion?
This came from a conversation I was having with a professional whose company was overtaken by another company. They were bought out. They went from a company with around 50 employees to now in the 1000s.
She had some valid questions:
(Or for my entrepreneurs, These ideas can still apply to you. Ask yourself, “How can I be chosen out of all of my competitors?” Stay tuned for my next blog where I will specifically cover this for you.)
Here are five specific steps that you can do right now no matter where you are in your company and no matter what level you’re at.
Even if you’re not in a company, you can still think about:
And with every topic I cover, you can always think about how you can apply these to other areas of life.
First: Align Yourself with the Company’s Values, Mission, and Culture
If you are about to be bought out by another company or even if you are working for the same company, you have to think about:
If you can align yourself with that, it’s going to help you to stand out. When you have your next meeting, performance review and even in an interview, plan how you’ll share this alignment. Have examples or stories of your ideas, experiences, and actions to prove that you're in alignment with them, especially in casual conversations that happen, it's going to help you to make a name for yourself.
Second: Connect with Others
Whether you know every person in your company or not, this is an opportunity to reach out and get to know them or maintain and nurture that relationship. How do you do that?
There are so many different platforms that companies are on like Slack or you have another in-house messenger system. Shoot them a short voicemail or a short video or even just reach out and just say, “Hey, how's it going?”
If you don't know each other well, why not do a virtual coffee? Especially with Zoom and people being in their own homes, you get to learn a little bit more about them than you maybe normally would if you were talking in the office, workspace, or staff room.
Get to know them. Ask questions like:
I know these are basic questions, but when you get to know these things about them, then you can easily refer back to it the following week. You could say:
There are so many things you can talk about just based on you asking one question the week before or the last time you saw them. It might help to even write it down especially if you're going to be meeting a lot of new people. Write down one interesting fact about them. Then when you see them next time, follow up with that.
The cool thing is, in them sharing something about themselves, you can then acknowledge them. If you get to know them on a personal basis, acknowledge them for who they're being like:
Whatever it may be, you can do a very simple acknowledgment. You can use this formula:
“You are a” + “an adjective” + title
For example: You are a wonderful mother.
You can also compliment them. It can be simple or on a more professional basis:
Whatever it may be, you can compliment them on how they were doing in the job or how they were performing:
You can compliment them on who they were being like:
You can give people an acknowledgment or a compliment. There are so many different ways and versions of it and it can be personal or professional. You have two choices.
Third: Speak Up
You don't need to be the boss. You don't need to be the one that is going to dominate the conversation, but you should at least say something in meetings. Come up with ideas and share them.
When you have that opportunity to present something or even ask a question, do it. You need to have a voice to the name and the email. You need to have people see you when they normally just see your name up on a board somewhere.
If you're feeling like there's not really an opportunity for you to add ideas you can just add in one of these:
That shows interest. That shows that you care to know that what you’ve heard is right. If you don't have anything else to say, you can at least ask a question or provide a statement.
Fourth: Be Yourself
There can be many employees in a company and many people in your industry, so that everyone can start to blend into one another, especially for anyone that has a specific uniform that you have to wear. But:
Just be yourself so that you stand out in your uniqueness.
Fifth: Make Yourself More Recognizable
I don't know how many times I finally got to meet in-person someone I had only emailed with or spoken to on the phone and I was thinking, “Oh, I thought they’d look like this or thought they’d look like that.” People can be more connected to you when they know what you look like. In your emails, can you put an image of yourself so that you're recognizable when they see you?
When you jump on the meetings, get on video. I don't know how many times I've been on calls and people are not on video. They don't even have a photo when they're not on video, so it just says their name on a black screen. That’s not very memorable.
Get on video. Have people see you. Even if you're not the one speaking, be on video, to be smiling, nodding, looking thoughtful as if you're really listening, that goes a long way for someone who's presenting as a speaker.
I know I notice that. I was at a little meet and greet event the other week and one of the other women, as everyone was introducing themselves, was smiling and nodding and showing that she was really listening. That prompted me to reach out to her in a private message through the chat function of Zoom.
I told her something like, “Hey, who are you? You are doing such a good job smiling and nodding at people. I love it. Congratulations.” What started up as our own little conversation ended up having a virtual coffee date. She was making herself not just recognizable, but she was standing out as a good person.
When you go to a meeting or an event and you have a question or comment to make, start by saying your name. Don't assume that people know your name or know your department. You could say:
Let people know who you are. Say your name and say what you're working on or something just to connect people if they don't already know.
Those are the five ways that you can make a name for yourself in your company or industry. Most of them are focusing on great ideas for being an employee. However, if you are a business owner, you work for yourself, or in a different capacity and you want to make yourself known in the industry that you work in, then stay tuned in next week. This is exactly what I am going to cover. I'm going to share some of the tactics that I use as well.
Read more of my blogs here:
1. Stand out from your competitors... without it feeling hard or overwhelming
2. The Price We Pay for our Decisions
3. Stop Being Vanilla
In my previous blog, I shared how my Facebook profile got deleted and how I gained back control to my Facebook groups and Facebook page. Now let me share more about my experience PLUS the steps I followed when I rebuilt my new profile.
More specifically, I'm going to talk about the ins and outs of Facebook profile deletion. I’ll share how to protect yourself now, so you don't get booted off, lose your precious images and videos, and how to keep your business pages running. Also, even if you get deleted, how to gain back control of groups and the steps I put in place that saved me. And what I now know about rebuilding a profile plus the silver lining of this whole experience. And yes, there is one.
Photos and Videos on Facebook
Did I lose all of my images and videos? Yep, I did. 15 years worth at least. That many photos and videos as well as that many friends. I probably had about 4000 friends. The idea of having to find all those friends again, it's overwhelming. At least one business page and most of my groups were still there. That was helpful.
There are steps that you can take on your personal profile to protect it a little bit more. After finishing this blog, go to the bottom, open up your Facebook account and follow along to the steps.
What did I actually do?
I got a completely new account. Remember, when you create a new account, you can’t use any of the emails that were linked to the account that was disabled. Facebook won't let you. Thankfully, I had another Gmail account that I could use. You might have to end up making a new one.
In making my new account, I made sure to be starting to add in some personal information (e.g. civil status, school, etc.). The kind of stuff that you'd hope hackers or scammers wouldn't know. I wanted to make sure that people were adding me as a friend, even though they probably like we're already friends. Here are a few steps that I did to make sure that people knew it was me:
With this process, I started getting friends added and then Facebook would suggest friends, which was awesome. Do you know Marie Kondo? She’s a home organizer who says to look at an item and then ask yourself, “Does this spark joy?” I kind of feel like I was Marie Kondo-ing my Facebook friends. I was like, Yes I want to accept that person because they bring me joy, but this other person's super negative, confrontational, or just post some crazy stuff.
I now get to choose who I am friends with, which is really great. Maybe you would enjoy that part of it as well. I'm at just over 1000 friends now, and I'm working my way up.
What I kept hearing from people was they weren’t sure if it was me. They asked if it was a real or a fake account. To confirm, what I did was I sent voicemails back to them to say that it was me.
The Silver Lining
The silver lining is I've reconnected with a bunch of people that I haven't talked to for a long time. Now in my Facebook feed, I'm seeing the people I know, and I'm seeing more of the people I really like. I’m also seeing more of my clients’ content and their lives, which is a wonderful thing.
I've covered a lot in this blog as well as the previous ones… the things that you should be doing to back up your information. Remember, you're playing by Facebook's rules. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. You just have to be respectful of that.
If you are doing business on your personal profile, it might be time to stop or at least have a backup of everything. Now, please know that also every single message, photo, comment, or post that I had on my page, on other people's pages, on my profile and on other people's profiles as well as in groups all disappeared.
Be aware that it will happen. It's like I never existed. I got completely wiped in my personal profile off of Facebook.
Business-wise, remember that if you have a group with a bunch of people in it and you lose that group, if you don't have the email addresses of those people, you will lose those connections. If you're using Facebook for business, like me having 21,000 people follow me or like me on Facebook business page means nothing if I don't have their email because if that got shut down completely, if I lost everything, then I would lose all of the connections to those people.
Be aware that there are some strategies you need to put in place to make sure you bring your connection on Facebook into the email world.
I could have been angry with Facebook and spent time trying to track someone down to talk to, but my feeling is like, just move on. See the silver lining in it. It did suck. There's a lot of hours that I had to put into just getting back on my feet with my Facebook profile.
Compared to some of the things that have happened like COVID, having speaking engagements canceled, not being able to go anywhere in the summer, my father passing away, just all kinds of crazy stuff, losing my personal profile on Facebook doesn't matter as much as other things in life.
Think about that. If you ever have something happen to you, in the big picture, does it really matter? If everyone's still healthy and happy, then it's okay. Things can be rebuilt. I do believe sometimes that negative things happen to me so that I can share them with my clients and with my community. That includes you. Thank you for being one of my readers.
P.S. Add me on Facebook! I have so much room for new friends now: Diane Rolston. You can also join the Dynamic Women Global Community.
Read my other blogs here:
1. How my Facebook profile got deleted and what I did to take back control (Part 1)
2. How to Direct Message on Social Media Without Being Salesy
3. Hacks to Save Time with Your Social Media Posting
Steps to Protect Yourself, Your Content and Your Account:
a. In “General,” go to “Memorialization Settings”. This means when you pass away or something happens to you, you can have someone else be able to go in your Facebook and take care of it. So choose your person.
b. “Security and Login”:
c. Go to “Your Facebook Information”.
Another way to do this is to go to a website that's free called If This Then That (IFTTT). Here, you can set up what they call a recipe. For example, every time you post on your Facebook, IFTTT can save a copy in your Dropbox folder. You want to make sure that you have your information backed up.
Do you fear losing everything on Facebook?
At this time, many people use Facebook for the following:
And a whole lot more! But what if one day, you lost it all?
Because I did. My Facebook personal profile was disabled! I had to create a new one, recover my pages and groups, and rebuild my profile.
How it happened
It was an early morning, and I went to jump on my phone and just do a quick check of a few things on my Facebook. It was weird because Facebook was asking me to log in. I don't have to log in usually because I just have it set up where I'm always logged in on my phone.
That was the first alarm that something was wrong. When I went to log in, it actually told me “Your account has been disabled.” I quickly clicked through and tried to find a place where I could talk to someone about it. But you see, that's not so easy to do.
There was an option where I could have them review my account or what was going on to hopefully reactivate my account. I went through the procedures of putting in my email address. I even took a picture of my driver's license and uploaded it, thinking that in a few hours, days or maybe even a few weeks, I'd eventually get a response, plead my case, and get my account back.
Instead, I got a red message instantly. It said, “This account cannot be reactivated because you have violated Facebook community rules.”
I have no idea what that means. I don't know what I did:
People have warned, “Don't do business on your personal profile.” I thought about the things I have shared recently. I shared an event about the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers that I am a part of. I also did a call out for different types of people in different industries so I could connect with them. That's it. That's all I could think about.
I ask you, what are you doing on your personal profile that could possibly get you into trouble? Facebook has a 55-page long list of rules. I haven't really read them all myself. Basically, it comes down to this: when you're in someone else's sandbox or establishment, they have the right to remove you. I guess they have a right to not tell you why either.
My Facebook pages and Facebook Groups
While my personal Facebook profile was deleted, some of my groups and my main business page “Life Coach Diane” was still active. That was great because I have around 21,000 people liking or following that page. But my “Dynamic Women” page one was not.
I was relieved at that and relieved that I still had my Facebook groups. However, I didn't have control of them!
Here’s what I previously did that helped me keep my one Facebook page and most of my Facebook groups.
For your Facebook pages: Have someone you trust to be the admin
Make a team member, employee, social media manager, or even your partner or friend an admin on your page, as well as on your groups. That's probably why I was able to keep some of my groups and pages. I had my assistant as an admin on them. It was fabulous because all she had to do was go into my “Life Coach Diane” page and suggest that I become the admin. Then BOOM I was back in charge!
One of the women in my community told me to have multiple admins AND to check the admin status every six days. Why? Because if someone hacked in and added themselves as a new admin, after seven days of being on your account, they can delete or remove any other admins.
Imagine someone sneakily coming onto your page, hacking in and controlling your groups, and then one day, all of a sudden, you're not the admin of the group. Then your assistant or your team members are not running the group anymore. It's just this person who is now basically taken over your page, and try proving to Facebook that it is really yours.
We're both admins again AND I didn't lose my 21,000 followers there.
For your Facebook Groups: Make sure you have another admin or a backup
Now as for my groups, it was quite interesting. In my groups, I had my assistant who was an admin to add me back in. She then made me admin of the groups.
Now some of the groups that I found, I didn't have her as admin because it was just my clients. I had to ask my clients to let me in again, and then I had to go into the member’s page and see who was admin to add me as one.
Sadly, on some of them, there was no admin. So the admin was up for grabs. If you're running a group with a whole bunch of people, (maybe not just your clients) it can be scary to think that when you are kicked off Facebook someone else could just step in and take over the group.
You want to make sure that even in some of your more private groups that you have someone else as admin, even if it is a friend or another account that you have created, just make sure you have a backup. This is how I was able to keep my business page running, even though my personal profile got deleted. That's also how I was able to gain back control of my groups.
It was those steps that I put in place that saved me. Go check your Facebook account and make sure you have someone else as the admin or multiple people as admin for your groups and your pages. That way, you will be able to gain back control if you ever get kicked off Facebook.
In my next blog, I will share more tips on how you can protect your Facebook account and how I rebuilt my profile.
Read more of my related blogs here:
Have you ever had that urgency where you’ve got to make an extra $500, $1000 or even $10000?
You may think:
You tell yourself, “It’s impossible to do it QUICKLY? I don’t know I will raise that kind of money.”
You still can feel these negatives around it, and you can still struggle.
Why is this an issue for most people
I’ve seen people struggle. This came up very recently with a client of mine. I also have had clients in the past, people I’ve met in my masterminds, and even people who’ve come up to me after different events I was speaking at.
It's so easy to get overwhelmed, to think how could I possibly make $500 or $2000 in like 10 working days, five working days, whatever it may be.
This was my situation about 4 years ago, at a time when I really wanted to hire this high-level coach. I was upping my game, but I'd never put out over $10,000 for a coach before. At just over $13K US and then it was over $17k to work with this coach. I really wanted to do, it would be worth very penny. It was a great investment for my business. The solution I’m going to give you came from that moment.
When you feel overwhelmed, you're not going to be able to get focused at all. You're not going to be able to go for it. Overwhelm puts you in that fight or flight. That stressed place. Creativity is gone. Focus is gone. The fog comes in… so do two culprits:
What do you do? Oftentimes, nothing. Otherwise, you're procrastinating, right?
The issue is, you're not coming up with a plan. When you are running a business, you need to have a plan. You need to have a system and a process that you go through.
The System and Process I would use
The system and process I’m giving you now may seem super basic, but it works. This is like the tip of the iceberg. I'm not going super deep into it, just give you an overview of this concept so that you can go and apply it.
I want you to be able to be thinking about, “How do I put this together?” Not “This is hard, I can’t.”
FIRST STEP: Break it down
Ask yourself: “In my business, what is the fastest way to cash?” “What is the fastest way I can get a customer, a client, a patient, or a company to purchase something from me?”
The following are examples of actions you can do that can be fastest to cash:
However, there are actions that may NOT be the fastest way to cash. For example, starting a podcast or writing a book.
Doing these things that have a longer game to them that take a longer nurture sequence is not fastest to cash. That is a nurturing process that happens over time that will eventually bring in some cash flow for you.
So how do you do it? Find what is fastest to cash for you, think of some of those ideas. You really want to be breaking it down into how you're going to get this money earned.
Let's look at this example.
If you needed $10,000, what you could do is sell 10,000 units or products at $1 apiece. Now, is that really good for your time? Probably not. It takes a heck of a long time to sell 10,000 products to 10,000 different people, right? You probably need 10,000 clients or at least 5000 clients where everyone buys two.
Let's break it down in another way.
Could you sell 1000 products at $10 apiece? It could be a workbook, a mug, or a smaller product that you would sell. Now you need 1000 customers to buy a $10 product.
Let’s break it down into another option.
You could choose a $100 product to sell to 100 people. Are we starting to see how this is a little bit more doable? Could you potentially sell to 100 people in two weeks? Yeah, you totally could. Selling to 10,000 people a $1 item that's a little bit harder. It depends on what your reach is.
If you have a really good reach or your item would be something your client could buy lots of, like a pen, then a dollar item could be a good idea. You have to see what your product is and how you would sell it.
Let's go to the next level.
Could you take a $1,000 product and sell 10 of them? You totally could. That would make sense.
Let's go to a higher level.
How about an even easier option? Do you have a $10,000 product that you would only need to sell one of them? You only have to sell one! Could you find one buyer in 10 days to buy a $10,000 product? Now depending on what you do, you really have to look at this and think:
Client’s $4000 sales
I did this recently with a client. She needed to make $4000 in sales. I asked her, “Do you want to be selling the $4 product or do you want to be selling the $40 product?”
Do you see the difference? Think of how many fewer customers she has to find. That $40 product helped her feel, “This is doable. The fastest to cash option for me is to put a bundle together of $40 for 100 people to buy in the two-week period to get $4000 in sales.” That made so much more sense for a $4 product.
Or how about this one? How about 40 people spend $200? That's probably a little bit more easier depending on your product. That would have been another option for her.
SECOND STEP: Choose how do you want to do it
You break it down, and you figure out how you want to do it. For example, if I'm selling x amount of products, then how do I want to sell them?
Figure out the avenue. Don't pick too many because you want to be able to actually get it done.
If you don't know anything about the option (ex. Facebook ads), it’s not the best choice. Unless you have someone in your network you can easily pay to bang that out and get it going.
This is the thing that I see people screwing up on all the time. You've made this commitment, “I want to make $1k, $4K whatever it may be.
Then you start doing other stuff. You're like:
Cut everything else out. You have one goal. Now, this is not how you're going to be every second of every day, but if you have an immediate need for $, everything else needs to go to the wayside.
Let me go back to my example.
It was December where I've got birthdays for both my kids, I have two other family birthdays and Christmas.
So this is what else happened that one specific December. I go to an event, and I buy a $17k+ coaching package (Worth every single penny. I totally beIieve that.) But I'm like, “Man, I don't want to get a credit card bill that is going to be probably 20 grand because I have other business expenses and many gifts on it.”
And I'm doing the full pay option because I'm all in and I'm getting this done rather than the payment plan. That's just the way I like to do it. I like to save money by doing it all at once. I thought, “I have to pay for this ASAP. I'm not pulling from my savings and not pulling from a bank account. I got to pay for this from what I've made.”
In that moment, I was like, “Okay, in 10 days, I'm going to run an event. Get as many people in there as possible, and I'm going to offer them something.” I thought, “Am I going to offer an $8,000 program to a big room?” No, that I haven't had time to build up that relationship with them.
“Am I going to sell 100 $200 products?” I could but I don't have 100 people in the room so that's not going to happen. Instead what I did is I thought I need about 12 people to buy about a $1500 product so that I can pay this off right away.
Now, as I was going into it, I thought, “No, instead I'm going to change this. I'm going to make it $1,000 and I'm going to sell like 17 of them.”
At the end of the day, I sold 18. I actually made money. Now, obviously, I still have to put my time into delivering the product. I still have expenses in delivering that product. However, my credit card bill was covered. That investment in that coach was covered.
What did I do? I used the steps, what is fastest to cash? Fastest to cash for me is a coaching package. Then, I'm going to break it down. How do I want to do it? I'm going to do a $1,000 product and have 17 people buy.
Then, how do I want to do it? I'm going to fill a room with people and hold an event. I had 74 people register in those 10 days. I had 63 show up, which is really high show up rate. Of that, I had 18 purchases. Perfect, right?
What did I do? I had to cut everything else out. Why? Because I had a bill to pay. Why? Because I had an event to run. Why? Because I had to prepare my offer. I had to prepare my package. I had to prepare my content. I had to market to get everyone there. I had to be on point for when I was showing up there. I had one opportunity to sell.
Now granted, yes, I would have many more opportunities after to nurture and follow up. But I wanted it done that day. I didn't want that on my mind.
In your mind, do you feel it is too much stress to have it all on one event, one home party, one online cooking class, one webinar, one masterclass, one training? Is that too much pressure for you? Then pull it back.
Give yourself that time and space. You could:
You have to be laser-focused when you want to achieve a financial goal in a short amount of time. It is doable. To make money in a short amount of time you must believe that it is doable, and you have to focus on it. You have to get into action. Getting into action is going to build the confidence that you need to actually pull it off. And choose that breakdown of how many products for how much money. Something that is doable for you potentially or a bit of a stretch, but make sure that it's the doable one.
What I love doing that with my clients is:
Now you may not look at me or think of me as a sales and marketing coach. I'm not saying I specialize in it. I will never say that, but I'm a business coach who can do strategy. Why? Because that's what I do in my own business and as you can see I can do it well.
If you want to have one of these “Fastest to Cash Strategy Sessions” with me where we figure out how you can get the fastest to cash in a short amount of time, then go to https://bit.ly/FastestToCashSession. By the end you’ll have the clarity on the right approach, the confidence in the strategy and the plan to actually go for it, so you can get great results.
How did you get where you are? This is often a question that I receive. It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows.
If you’ve been listening to the Dynamic Women Podcast…
If you’ve been reading my blogs…
If you’ve been a client of mine…
If you’ve been in the Dynamic Women Community…
If you’ve been in one of my programs...
It means we have spent time together. Especially if you’re a client, I know you quite well. Maybe I don't know your childhood story. Maybe I don't know how you got into what you did or what you're doing currently, but there's some merit in sharing.
I’m going to go back a little bit to when I was a little girl. Why would I share a little bit more about myself?
So you can learn about yourself. As I go through this, I want you to think of what you resonate with and what you can apply to your own life.
Ever since I was little, I have loved to teach. I also loved to talk as well, but teaching was something I was praised for. With speaking, I was told by my mom that if I spoke for a living, I’d be rich. This is because I spoke so much. Haha! I can’t blame my parents!
I have two older brothers. They were four and eight years older. I was often told what to do or I'd run behind them doing my best to get them to play with me. Eventually, I found some friends in my neighborhood.
In school, the teacher would put the kids who struggled beside me, so I could help them understand things in a different way if they didn't catch on to how the teacher taught it.
I loved doing this. Using my creativity to teach it in a new way, that moment when they got it, the appreciation they felt, and how my teacher would continue to give me that responsibility... I then felt I was a leader.
I went on to be my elementary school valedictorian, captain of sports teams, chair of clubs, and President of Student Council in high school. Again, using my communication, teaching, and leadership skills. This drove me to do double honors in English and Media Information and Technoculture (MIT) at The University of Western Ontario.
I kept the door open to become an English teacher or a broadcast journalist. And I continued to play sports by being part of the varsity rugby team.
Maybe you've been in that place of having two different passions. Two things you wanted to pursue. When you weren't sure which to pick, you just kept both doors open. That seemed to be a pattern for me through quite a bit of my youth.
After graduating, I spent three years in Japan, teaching ESL and doing narration work for companies like Toyota. And so there I was, teaching and speaking, and a little bit of leadership.
When I returned, I did my ESL certification and started teaching right away in Toronto to immigrants. I loved that I wasn't just teaching them English, but a way of life. I was almost mentoring them in what they needed to do to be successful in starting their new life in Canada.
When I moved to British Columbia from Ontario, for love, I started teaching for a company right away. I quickly moved up the ranks to become the head instructor who helped hire, train, and support the teachers and develop curriculum for the students.
So again, I'm using my teaching, speaking, and leadership skills. I was living in a beautiful city, making lots of new friends. I got engaged to my boyfriend at the time and my desire to lead, teach, and speak were being rewarded in every possible way. This was about 12 years ago.
Even with all of my success, why was I going home every night wanting to re-energize somehow, sitting on the couch, drinking wine, eating crappy foods. Maybe you've had that kind of situation where you're looking to escape.
Even worse, I didn't care to exercise, and coming from the life of being a competitive athlete, a varsity rugby player, a soccer player, and a gym rat, it was crazy.
I gained a lot of weight and that was really hard. I shut myself off from others. I was still going to Toastmasters and other commitments as I was just keeping up appearances, putting on a happy face or so I thought...
Until one day my friend Rozz said, “Diane, what's up? You've lost your spark.” That was the moment where I couldn't hide it any longer. I knew something was missing. But I didn't know how to fix it. That was the time that I couldn't put on a brave face and just grin and bear it anymore. And the craziest thing was that people around me who really knew me, knew something was up!
Then began some of the hardest times of my life. I didn't know what was wrong with me:
I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what was wrong with me or what was wrong with my life. I then postponed my wedding. But that wasn't it either! I was looking for something outside of me to make it all better.
Then one day, while at work, I hit the bottom. It was at that moment I realized I needed someone outside to help me to get some clarity on what I really wanted, what I needed to do, and how I could get there faster than on my own.
I got on Craigslist, and I typed in “life coach”. That's what everyone does at that moment, right? Haha! I just had an urge to do it. You won’t believe it, a girl in my area had posted only an hour before offering complimentary coaching to four people!
I'm not going to go into too much detail about what happened next. But the Coles Notes version is that I did eventually marry that man. I left that job. I bought a house and we now have two beautiful children.
I found my calling and started the coaching certification process very shortly after working with her and immersing myself in not only the program but applying everything I was learning by working with clients.
I had found my purpose and I finally was able to know the piece that was missing:
I'm so blessed to have been able to coach men and women from all over Canada, the United States, and beyond.
I help them get back in tune with what really matters to them.
Just like when I was little and sat beside those kids in school, I feel like the lucky one being able to blaze a trail and stand beside female business leaders coaching them to succeed. I've also become a mom to two kids, and am just so fulfilled that my business is in leading, building community, coaching and teaching, and doing it all my way, according to my values and my priorities.
Can I ask you something? What was it that stood out for you? Was there some insight that you gained? Drop it in the comments.
If you resonate with hitting the bottom…
Share with me. Let's set up a coaching session. I'll walk you through it.
Another cool place that I love to hang out is my Dynamic Women Global Club. Join this community so we can spend more time together.
I hope this gave you a little bit of insight into why I love to do what I do. There are definitely more stories and more things that have happened to me and for me in my life. They have shaped me and put me into positions and opportunities where I've been able to grow and stretch and have the life I do today.
Read my other related blogs here:
1. 5 ways I am grateful for women who came before
2. How I Got My Butt Kicked
3. My biggest inspirations to create my life: Mom, Madonna & ME
Many of us receive direct messages from people we don’t know (or just met) on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and other social media sites. I receive A LOT of these. One thing that I notice with them is that their messages sound salesy or like a pitch, especially with new connections.
If you’re wanting to DM people, I will answer two questions in this blog:
There are a few kinds of questions that I receive on my DMs:
1. Open-Ended Questions
Have you received any of these messages:
I hate these kinds of questions because it puts the pressure on me to get things going. I’m then entering into a full conversation with someone who I don't know and I don't know why they're trying to reach out to me.
These questions are so open-ended, and I don’t know how to reply. I can reply “Good” or “Great” then they’d ask “What do you do?” Well, if this person looked at my profile, they would know what I do. Don't make me work because you want to talk to me. If you're going to reach out to someone, say more.
2. Unsolicited Offers
Have you received messages like:
Who doesn't want good things for their business? Who doesn't want these things? But it doesn't mean that I'm ready to enter into a sales conversation with you about it because I don't know you. So you have to ask yourself, “What are you leading with when you're messaging people?”
Because when people lead with optimizing my website, increasing my Google ranking, or whatever, I am not shopping for that. Your first message should not be a solicitation. You should not be offering to help me for a fee in that first message. I did not request solicitation in my inbox.
I also receive messages like:
Well, how do you know that my community wants it? Right, you're leading with your own offer. You're not leading with anything that I should care about. This is something you have to think about. What are you leading with? Are you leading with your own agenda? Or are you leading with something that would actually be for them?
3. “I love…
The other thing that I often see is people saying:
That type of message could be almost for anyone in the world. But if you’re going to say such things, be specific! For instance, if you want to be on the Dynamic Women Podcast, send me an email that says something like, “Hey, I love what you're doing. I listened to Episode 34 about changes for the new year! I love the five things that you shared! I totally resonate with this piece.”
If you message me something along these lines, it would show me that you actually took the time to consume some of my content and get to know me.
4. No “No Big Deal”
Sometimes, people send things like:
This is okay because I have permission to not answer her. However, sometimes what'll happen is people will send that but not the “no big deal.” And then they'll come in again and like, “Hey, you didn't reply to my message” or “Hey, I'm sending this again because you haven't replied.”
If that's through my business page on Facebook and I don’t reply to their spam, that messes up my response rates!
You might ask, “If they want to friend request you and you don’t know them, then what's the point of accepting their friend request?”
Good question. My response to this is as a business owner and speaker who is in the public eye quite a bit, I will say yes to their friend request if:
I’m trusting that they're good people and we should be connected. If you want to accept a friend request from someone, then you need to make the decision if that is a good decision for you or not. Have your own criteria for accepting friend requests.
Your being salesy happens when you lead with your own agenda.
You’ll come off as kind of awkward and weird in messages when you don't have a clear intention or you're not trying to connect with the person. So the keyword here is CONNECTION. Connect with the person. And so in order to connect with someone, you need to have a topic that is worthy of connecting about.
If you want to connect with them, you've got something specific that you can say or to talk about THEM, not talk about YOU. I don't know how many times I've had someone email me and the email tells me how awesome they are.
One of the easiest ways to connect is to acknowledge the person in a true way for something that you admire about them, that you like about them, or that you want to compliment them for. Acknowledge them for something and then speak about what's in it for them.
Here’s the question recap...
Now here are some tips you can do to NOT sound salesy:
1. Get on people’s radar first.
Go like some of their posts, comment on them and/or share some of their content. When people do this on my stuff, I do notice! If someone shares my content and I realize they've shared it, I will thank them. Then I’ll be more receptive when they DM me.
2. Find out what’s important to them.
Not what you think is important, but actually what is important to them. You'll find out what's important to them by listening to some of their videos, their audios, and their podcasts. Or by reading stuff on their website and their bio.
3. Don’t make them do all the work.
Don’t just say “How are you?” That's an annoying start to a conversation (unless I know them). Instead, tell me what you want to talk about. Acknowledge their work, and be detailed in the message. Refer to something that they have done and just come from a place of serving them first, and then they'll potentially reciprocate.
These are the things you can do to not come across as salesy and pitchy in direct messenger. Now, how are you going to show up differently?
P.S. I have to take my own words of wisdom here. Sometimes I try to get straight to the point with people without connecting. That's my A-type. It’s a learning curve!
Want to get on my radar? Comment below or subscribe and/or review my Dynamic Women Podcast!
Read my other blogs here:
Life can feel full and unbalanced and then you need to find more time to be on top of your social media. And while social media truly has some great benefits for your business, it can get in the way of your personal priorities and take a lot of time.
Since I love efficiency and saving time, in this blog, I’m going to share some tips to post on social media faster and easier. But before you try to cut time in any activity, ask yourself these 3 coaching questions I ask other female business leaders:
Think about these questions as we go through the tips.
(Take note: I’m not a Facebook expert. These are some tips I chose to do in my business as I grew it with 2 young kids. In case you didn’t know, Facebook can penalize you for using an external posting system. You’ll be penalized by not having your posts show up as often as posts that are organically posted straight to Facebook.)
Now, there are ways on how you schedule posts for Facebook and other social media platforms:
1. Copy and Paste
You could copy and paste your posts on different Facebook groups and schedule them. But if you really want to post organically, one tip I’ve heard is to stay in the box that you’re pasting in for 10 seconds because that is of Facebook's way of knowing did you actually write this post or if you went on a copy and paste spree.
Extra Tip: Create an Excel or Word document where you have all your posts ready. This way, you can have your posts more organized and planned out and you will not be distracted by Facebook.
2. Use Scheduling Systems
There are different tools that you can use to schedule posts for different platforms (not just for Facebook) at the same time like Buffer, Hootsuite, CincShare, and Planoly. I used Hootsuite before where I would create an Excel spreadsheet that contains all the information (what and when I’m going to post, hashtags, etc.) then I would bulk upload it to Hootsuite. Right now, I am using Planoly where I can schedule my posts for Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And even better I have my VA do it.
Your reach may not be as good using this way so you have to ask yourself, is it more important to do this and have more time? Is that more important than having it have a bigger reach? In coaching many busy business owners, my thought is, "if using a scheduling system means you’re actually consistent in your posting, is that not better than being inconsistent in organic posts?" It all comes down to what you value the most.
Extra Tip: Work on better content. Work also on staggering times like 1:07PM instead of 1:00PM or 1:23PM instead of 1:30PM so your post is not competing with posts at those times. Another tip is since you’re using these tools to schedule your posts, you can post on different social media platforms so you’re also present on those platforms.
3. Use Facebook’s Creator Studio
Facebook has its own platform called Creator Studio. Use Facebook's own platform because it might be better because Facebook is going to like that more and maybe push more of your content out.
Facebook doesn't like this as much, but you can always push content from one platform to another. I can post to Instagram and have it fly over to Facebook and or Twitter.
Is this the best thing for my time? Yes. Is this the best thing for my business? Maybe not. I'm dealing with the time that I have. So I encourage you to do the same - to think about what is the best use of your time.
Extra Tip: Have someone manage all of your social media platforms then they can engage and post organically for you. Even if you don’t feel you have the budget, think about how you can make it happen. This will free you up to do more income generating activities.
5. Pick One Platform
Pick one platform and make sure you're doing some organic posting by posting straight to the platform. Then get on there and actually engage with your posts, reply to people’s comments, like them, and ask them a question back.
If you push content from one platform to another - great! If you bulk upload to other platforms, great! But at the very least pick one platform and really put a lot of energy into it. Ideally, focus on where your clients already are.
Extra Tip: Have good content. Create content that's engaging. Create content that could go viral because it looks good. Create something that people want to consume.
Which of these tips will you try out? Let me know in the comments! If you have questions that I can help you solve, comment down below, so I can answer that in my next blogs. Join my FREE Facebook group Dynamic Women Global Community, I love sharing tips and techniques there.
Read my other blogs for more time-saving hacks:
In my last blog, I talked about four aspects to supporting your success: networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach.
The best is when you can have networking, an accountability group, a mastermind, and a coach all in one group. I share this with my clients. It helps them achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities.
Why is this good? Think of an iceberg and water.
When you spread yourself thin and do a lot of different things, you only really get the tip of the iceberg because your bandwidth is so spread apart. When you have ONE group that you're working with to satisfy your masterminding, networking, coaching, and accountability needs, you get to go:
What are the other benefits of having these four things in one?
1. You save time because:
2. You save energy.
3. You save money.
When I was able to see all of these benefits for myself and how it was a better way of up leveling my business I started looking for it. In the end, I created it for my clients. It was a huge difference.
You’re probably searching for something like this - for something that would just ease the burden of all the things you have to get done. A speed course to help you reach your goals, a program that has four in one. Your one-stop shop to help you reach where you want to get to.
This is why I put all my years in my education, my teaching, coaching, delivering workshops, delivering speeches, presentations to groups of people, and all my personal and professional development, put them into one program - the She's Goaled Program.
Check it out and apply to be able to reach your goals with the 4 point system.
Here are some of my blogs that you may also enjoy:
I’ve struggled in my business at different times. I thought I was making the right decisions based on what others had suggested, but the problem was they weren’t actually doing what they shared with me.
I was constantly reviewing and making changes. Of course those mistakes were really learning opportunities. But the thing is, what if you just knew how to NOT make those mistakes?
What I learnt is how quickly you decide to make a change and how fast you take action actually determines how successful you're going to be. If you can't make changes when problems come or you stay in the wrong decision for too long, then you're going to have more negative outcomes.
As a coach, they don't teach us how to run a coaching business. So, I did these things:
1. I joined a networking group.
Networking groups are great, but the problem was that the networking group I was in wasn't giving me a strong level of information that I needed on how to run a business that's in alignment with me.
2. I hired a good business coach.
It was really great working with her. She helped me with business foundations, but I was missing that group interaction. I want a group of people, especially women, to come together and we can move our businesses forward together and I can get some information.
3. I joined a Mastermind.
I joined a mastermind, but I wasn’t getting that high-level strategy that I needed from it. This mastermind was self-led wherein the participants were to lead it. I was the only coach and facilitator in the group. I ended up having to run it. That just felt weird. I started to feel like the coach, where I'm not able to chill and relax and just be part of this experience. And so I thought to myself, that's off. That's not right.
4. I had an accountability group.
I thought maybe I just need a little accountability group to get things going and help me get things happening. But I realized, these people are not doing what they said they would do. And it was quite frustrating for me because at the time, I was pregnant. I was spending more of my time there coaching them how to reach their goals, and how to actually do what they were supposed to do. It was frustrating. That level of accountability wasn't there.
I had a networking group, a coach, a mastermind group, and an accountability partner. They were all serving partial needs for me, but none of it was like fully encompassing all of my needs.
It takes a lot of time to attend four different events. It was costing me time and brainpower. Each of them had its own set of requirements and expectations. I couldn't keep my head straight with all those things. It was also costing me money!
What I wanted was ONE single track to put my business train on. To be able to just go to one group of people and have them serve all of my needs and get my business moving forward so that I am not wasting my time, energy, mind power, and money.
Why isn't there something where a group of people can have the following aspects:
1. Networking - We get together and have networking opportunities. We start referring each other and can use each other's services.
2. Accountability - We can have accountability with someone in charge. Having an actual facilitator, coach, or someone in charge of that accountability can lead to better results so that the participants don't have to hold each other accountable.
3. Mastermind - In some groups, certain people take more time because the time isn’t being managed. When there’s a facilitator to facilitate the timing, everyone gets their time. It's not just the power of the group, but I want someone in charge that knows so many different things.
4. Coaching - Having someone in that group who can coach. The cool thing is, as they're coaching someone else in the group, you can learn so much, too. By being coached in front of others, you also have that feeling of we're in this together.
Which of those four pieces do you like the most? You can have networking, accountability, mastermind, and a coach for your life as well in your business.
In my next blog, I will share with you the ONE step I took that helped me achieve more, stay focused, and get new opportunities.
You can also read my other blogs:
1. The Price We Pay for Our Decisions
2. Hire Help: 1 of 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 1)
3. 5 Tactics to get more done in life or business (Part 2)
Get Goaled! Coaching Mastermind
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